# quote

date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120554
text:
  <Anomaly> There's this one guy in my comp diag class who I've
  started holding up a folder or paper or something when I'm
  talking to him just to get him to look me in the eye
  <Zero> boobs: a breasting and a curse
  <Zero> WHOA
  <Zero> a BLESSING and a curse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120610
text:
  <Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20%
  off rabbits.
  <Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and
  I have lots of other animals anyway, so a rabbit or two might
  be cool.
  <Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of
  slang for neon-coloured dildos with anal stimulators.
  <Malygris> Good prices, though.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120659
text:
  <Krypt|LOTR2> i was given 200 dollars to survive a month alone
  while the rest of my family went to dominican republic
  <Krypt|LOTR2> i blew half of that on games
  <Krypt|LOTR2> and didnt eat for like 2 weeks
  <Krypt|LOTR2> i lost alot of weight


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120707
text:
  <runedx2> the other day... my cat was in my lap.. and i was
  petting it. but then i realized there wasn't a cat in my lap.
  :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120792
text:
  <tatsumi> I wish I could look up and see the stars.
  <Toen> you can, if you go outside
  <tatsumi> ...... go where?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120842
text:
  <RoyCastle> i think my body is compensating for my not eating
  anything by delving deeper into insanity
  <RoyCastle> like earlier I was looking at a picture of a dead
  cat on the internet and for a moment it made me understand
  multivariable calculus
  <mflynn00> liar
  <RoyCastle> k.. it was midget pr0n


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120893
text:
  <Flameseeker> no analyze of my nick, please :D
  * Spazz kills Flameseeker and demands that he change his name.
  * Adonai seeks the flame which Flameseeker seeks.
  * Flameseeker is now known as Lameseeker
  <Lameseeker> better, eh?
  <Adonai> Lameseeker has finished his quest!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.120989
text:
  <bill``> I'm taking the AP calc test tomorrow--does anyone
  have any last minute tips?
  <MSINISTER> dont put metal in a microwave!
  <MSINISTER> good luck!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121033
text:
  <{ReNeGaDe}>  ok why is no one writin back to me; what do i
  got no fingers to type with and im just imaginin writin all
  this?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121087
text:
  <Boogaleeboo> ...soul, what was the exact name of the file you
  sent me? <Boogaleeboo> I seem to have fucking LOST it
  <SHODAN> I'll find it.
  <deVoca> Boog, search on "12_year_old_hardcore.avi"
  <Boogaleeboo> Too many results


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121136
text:
  *** Nilx (~r@t1o19p47.telia.com) has joined channel #unixhelp
  <Nilx> are there any webpages which are allowed to get hacked?
  <Nilx> HELP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121325
text:
  <sm-> how would i check a mysql database to see if a table
  exists?
  <Alpha232> put down a table cloth, if it doesn't turn into a
  rug, then it exists


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121374
text:
  <Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
  <Jemte> yea that sucks
  <fdog> LOL
  Topic (#clemson): changed by fdog: <Catmando> hmm.. apparently
  friendster requires friends


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121418
text:
  [ @Kruegel ] CharCoal69 what version of mIRC do you have?
  ***Approximately 18 Minutes Later***
  [ +CharCoal69 ] NINETY
  [ +Hammer[pth] ] haha, I don't know what was funnier
  [ +Hammer[pth] ] the latency of the reply, or the reply itself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121478
text:
  <frash> op me cause I'm lame!
  <frash> op me cause I'm lame!
  <frash> op me cause I'm lame!
  ùíù frash was kicked off #Twilight_Zone by callas (kick you
  cuz you're a dicksmack!)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121531
text:
  <JtotheB> ( o  Y  o )
  <Yosho> o.o
  <Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii
  pr0n, like in the 80's
  <JtotheB> Way ahead of you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121585
text:
  <^shauny^> i have a prob here
  <And-1> don't we all ...
  <^shauny^> no no really
  <And-1> we're all on here ... that's our prob


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121633
text:
  <Quigalo> Fried eggs on a burger is like coming on a 12 year
  old girl's ass. It might sound tempting, but you just have to
  think about what you're doing for a second, and stop.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121686
text:
  <rTenshi> HOLY SHIAZT! THIS IS AWESOME!
  <JujubeZ> what,?
  <rTenshi> using a .357 magnum to kill cockroaches!
  <JujubeZ> a .357? wTF? These are roaches, not deer you moron
  <rTenshi> tell me about it, its gonna take an assload of time
  to clean up, it just went.... "PSSHHHTTTQQQTT!" Hahahahhahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121735
text:
  <Ceru> when my sister went to the hospital, the bill was
  $11,000
  <Ceru> the insurance company had a major fit
  <R3mix> what did she go there for? O_o
  <Ceru> she drowned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121838
text:
  <pkmk> fuck i'm in wordpad now
  <pabegimas> programming with wordpad? wow that's really bad
  <pkmk> actually wordpad is very good for programming - you can
  set the font what you want


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.121988
text:
  <DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't
  cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
  <DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella
  <open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122039
text:
  <+host> finally, I got some good help in #debian in freenode
  <+host> and another lesson learned
  <+host> I will never let someone ssh to my computer to upgrade
  it
  <+host> again


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122087
text:
  <Jester{work}> butt sex is like spinach , if you're forced to
  eat it when you're a kid you wont like it as an adult.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122143
text:
  <kolby> my mom doesn't even have confidence in me
  <kolby> she was like, hey did you get my e-mail?
  <kolby> and im like "nope, just spam...send it again"
  <kolby> sure enough, she sends it again with the subject
  reading "Don't have a sex life? Enlarge your penis!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122212
text:
  <Valqorez> I didn't even get laid
  <Valqorez> but there's always tomoromw
  <McCormick> won't happend
  <McCormick> you"'l have a headache
  <Valqorez> Nope - I dont have hangovers
  <Daedalus> you're going about it wrong
  <Daedalus> YOU getting drunk won't get you laid
  <Daedalus> getting the girl drunk will get you laid :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122259
text:
  <Ziggy> anyone know where i can download ICQ?
  <Assmann> ziggy get on icq ill send it to u
  <Ziggy> dude are you a fucking moron?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122351
text:
  <Xeph> fuck
  <Xeph> i meant to create 2 rar files at 200000000 bytes a
  piece
  <Xeph> not 200000000 files
  <Xeph> at 2 bytes a piece


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122442
text:
  The Great Ookami: you mad with me pup?
  Kyouto Hasuki: i dont think so
  Kyouto Hasuki: lemme check my log


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122493
text:
  <N715DP> yeah, no kidding
  <N715DP> me - actually buying a MS OS
  <N715DP> hell hath frozen over
  <eggs_> guess I need to go find Jesus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122535
text:
  t3hraven: Holy shit somethings burning outside my window
  t3hraven: brb
  t3hraven: o, nm
  t3hraven: it was a cloud going by my window
  t3hraven: thought it was smoke :/
  BILLLL: Go outside much, raven?
  t3hraven: no :(
  BILLLL: cuz those cloud things can be pretty tricky
  t3hraven: shut up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122580
text:
  <Trousers> In the game of sex, nearly getting laid is no feat
  whatsoever.
  <Sep|MIDIscroungingstillstick> almost only counts in
  horseshoes and handgrenades


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122637
text:
  <AwhSchitt> Well, a guy's puts objects into one of 3
  categories.
  <AwhSchitt> 1) "I want to have sex with it"
  <AwhSchitt> 2) "I want to eat/drink it"
  <AwhSchitt> 3) "It exists"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122687
text:
  <zero> apparently the ceo was talking to some manager in the
  hallway at work today about "change management"
  <zero> except he kept on saying "management change"
  <zero> i only wish they got photos of that poor managers face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122731
text:
  Skecchi: me > you
  Knolly: Got it the wrong way around
  Knolly: you > me
  Knolly: Wait
  Knolly: Damnit
  Skecchi: thank you~
  Knolly: ...
  Knolly: I hate you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122774
text:
  <Daishi> i cant code though...but its on my list..right above
  learn klingon and right below get a gf


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122929
text:
  <Gamer55|FUCKYOU> nah, the thing is me and wacko luv
  eachother, we have 20 babies :)
  <Gamer55|FUCKYOU> i ate them all tho :(
  <mik3y> whoa
  <mik3y> 20 babies and you're 20
  <mik3y> CONSPIRACY
  <Gamer55|FUCKYOU> theory!
  <mik3y> and wacko is like 12
  <Mojo> :O
  <mik3y> explain the math on that one
  <Threeboy> if there's grass on wacko's feild, I play ball.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.122982
text:
  <SaxxonPike> there are 10 types of people in this world: those
  who understand binary, and those who don't give a fuck
  <jon`> whats binary?
  <SaxxonPike> and then there's you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123121
text:
  <latexslut> i bet u are thinking of ur hard rod being teased
  my this wet slut don't u?
  <Godrod> No. I am thinking of filing a restraining order
  against you to protect my dick from your H.I.V. shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123168
text:
  holler its emily: Five Reasons Not to Be a Penis:
  holler its emily: 1. You're bald your whole life.
  holler its emily: 2. You have a hole in your head.
  holler its emily: 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
  holler its emily: 4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
  holler its emily: And lastly...
  holler its emily: 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up
  and then faint
  DrkVengeance: you wouldnt always faint
  DrkVengeance: depends on how well you can hold your licker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123215
text:
  Mafafa: IF EVERYONE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF WOULD YOU DO IT TOO?
  Ironikx: If everyone jumped off a cliff, I'd go to the bottom
  and steal whatever was in their pockets.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123271
text:
  <WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
  <WillaCuz> noooooooooo
  <WillaCuz> i missed it
  <WillaCuz> lol
  <aNuBiS-> :/
  <aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
  <aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up
  trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
  <Chr[i]s> hahahah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123320
text:
  <Vash> wee-hee... I got two mroe week sof holidays = D
  <^bat-sai> soldier of fortune holidays?
  <Vash> eh?
  <Samin> there the best kind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123372
text:
  <SheepyMuttonChops> Some kids in the UK were rushed to the
  hospital after taking viagra at their lunch period.
  <SheepyMuttonChops> The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the
  school as saying: "By the time the afternoon lessons began,
  there was no hiding what they had done."
  <SheepyMuttonChops> Haha best line ever.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123414
text:
  SpOoNmAn· man, one time i had a Mr Heros roman burger...that
  fuckin thing passed thry my bowels in about 5 minutes...i was
  in the mall and had enuff time to run to the closest bathroom.
  I was about to sit down and my ass erupted, i blew shit all
  over the toilet and a guy was in the next stall....he screamed
  and ran out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123471
text:
  <ToxicFrog> My gaming machine is running 2k at the moment, but
  I may have to downgrade to XP in the near future, or make it a
  dual boot.
  <LogiForce> Downgrade to XP ? :S
  <LogiForce> 2k is older then XP. It is called upgrading.
  <ToxicFrog> LogiForce: going from "bad" to "worse" is not an
  upgrade even if "worse" was released after "bad".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123522
text:
  <K418> Bash.org is false advertising.
  <K418> I expected IRC to be all funny and interesting, instead
  you're lucky if you can find a chanel people actually talk
  in...
  <K418> And then when you do it's full of complete idiots,
  whose intelligence could probably be scientifically proven to
  be equal to that of the average turnip, and horny geeks, whose
  only interest is getting into your virtual pants.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123567
text:
  <PinkRubberBall> After much tear and blood I finally got
  windows to accept my cd burner
  <Uhclem> Sure it accepts it, but does it LOVE it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123616
text:
  <Zygo> if you're not finding errors, you're not looking hard
  enough
  <lazy_bum> Is this some kind of woman motto?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123710
text:
  <bludot> and then i said that the deadline for the oxford
  coding competition was valentines day, they were like, "do you
  geeks have weird alternative holidays for every thing?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123810
text:
  <@LoneWo|f> once the divorce is final...i'm getting
  snipped...and if spermicide didn't taste so bad...i'd kiss
  condoms goodbye!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123863
text:
  <kuribo> wanna CS?
  <TheCat> I'm guessing that stands for cyber sex.
  <TheCat> In which case, sure!
  <kuribo> counter-strike, you flaming faggot
  <TheCat> I knew that...........


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123907
text:
  cromar: If there is a God, why does he/she allow disasters
  like earthquakes and Microsoft?
  dvice_null: Are you comparing a disaster that causes billions
  of dollars financial losses and thousands of people to lose
  their home every year, to a natural movement of tectonic
  plates? That's low.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.123975
text:
  <jej> i need to "find" a copy of q3a for os 9/X too.
  <jej> and wolfenstein.
  <Toast> I need to "find" a copy of "your mom" for "my wang"
  <jej> ":("
  <cj_> "hehe"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124028
text:
  <Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls
  <Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard
  <Zero> chased him with a pitch fork
  <Zero> honest to god
  <Zero> a pitch fork


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124080
text:
  <Jess> What the hell?
  <Jess> Winamp says "installer too small"?
  <Tetsuo> didn't you know jess?  Size DOES matter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124138
text:
  <@PaulGonegooley> I just opened the box for my new harddrive
  <@PaulGonegooley> it smells like victory
  <malicious> the fuck it does
  <malicious> opening a new pack of MTG cards.
  <malicious> that smells like victory.
  <@PaulGonegooley> that smells like never getting laid, ever
  <@PaulGonegooley> that's what that smells like
  <malicious> fuck you :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124192
text:
  <SKS> Hey, type lana backwards.
  <LadyGrace> SKS, anal?
  <SKS> Yes, please.
  <WhoaOutOfControl> Hey SKS, type cips backwards.
  <SKS> spic
  * SKS was kicked by Anubis- (Racist language detected (4 hour
  ban) -- (207 served))
  <WhoaOutOfControl> Teehee
  <rancid_alan> What an ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124269
text:
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> allright
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> i need ur guys help on this
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> THIS CONFUSES ME
  <Loserbait> Depending
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> greatly
  <Loserbait> Spit it out little bitch
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> obviously a flavoured condom is designed for
  one reason
  <Loserbait> To use on your penis. Yes, continue
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> so the woman can taste some random flavour
  while performing oral sex
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> HOWEVER
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> on the back of the box it says
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> FOR VAGINAL USE ONLY
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> how does it work?
  <Loserbait> Um... Vaginas have taste buds?
  <Loserbait> <Vagina> Oooh! Minty!
  <SUPERMCNUGGET> dont ask why i have a box of flavoured condoms
  either.....
  <Loserbait> Admit it: It's for those lonely nights...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124441
text:
  <fox1023> Anyone know that analogy between baseball and how
  far you go with a girl?
  <missy13> Yea, where like 1st base is kissing etc?
  <fox1023> Yea thats the one.
  <fox1023> I was wondering. What do you call stealing home?
  <missy13> ...
  <missy13> Probably rape.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124501
text:
  <Nyphur> DIX has a point. That kind of muscle development at
  that age isn't something to be celebrated. It's unnatural and
  as such, the body isn't designed to do it. It's going to cause
  him unforseen problems in the future.
  <Nyphur> Good. He deserves it.
  <MonkeyDLuffy> ...?
  <MonkeyDLuffy> Nyphur, did you just reply to what you just
  typed?
  <Nyphur> I did, yes. This kind of thing happens at 4AM.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124547
text:
  (doggie^): i went shopping earlier and bought lots of heavy
  stuff, so when i packed all the stuff i made sure all the bags
  weighed the same
  (doggie^): then when i went to leave i realised i'd packed
  three bags
  (doggie^): :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124595
text:
  <Brett> Sara, if two trains depart from Chicago an hour apart
  at 55 mph and 80 mph respectively.... how good would you look
  in a bikini? [ ] Hot [ ] Very Hot [ ] Who needs a Bikini?
  <sara> do i get new shoes if i answer?
  <Brett> For the shoes, you have to answer this question:
  Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of
  individual free will in the light of the deterministic
  theories of neurochemical medicine modern behaviourist
  psychology. - Just Kidding!!!! Seriously though... Do you like
  leather miniskirts? [ ] Yes [ ] No


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124641
text:
  <Omnica> Man, I love air new zealand... the flight attendant
  was saying the usual about emergency exits and shit when
  suddenly "and for those passengers who are sitting in first
  class, instead of life jackets, you will find parachutes under
  your seat thank you and enjoy your flight"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124802
text:
  <McMoo> those presents are wrapped like motherfuckers.
  <McMoo> like very thoroughly wrapped motherfuckers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124857
text:
  <McGrue> You need messageboards?
  <Sharkey> Certainly not 'need'. Probably not even want. I just
  occasionally have this nagging implacable emptiness that I
  think a message board might fill.
  <Sharkey> Maybe I just need cock.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124921
text:
  <LatinKing> Just look at all the contributions Irish niggers
  have made to society
  <LatinKing> Potato Famine
  <LatinKing> heh
  <LatinKing> Black Irish
  <LatinKing> Are the worst
  <Culex> aren't irish green tho?
  <chracker> pots of gold are cool
  <LatinKing> You have to be the stupidist person I have ever
  had the chance encounter of conversating with....
  <LatinKing> Only pot of gold you have is your dried up honey
  pot between your flaming red crotch...and that pot was
  plundered a long time ago


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.124974
text:
  <SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
  <type[s]> bah
  <type[s]> i'm 22
  <type[s]> i think
  <type[s]> yeah, 22


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125043
text:
  <Crac|ked> So anyway my griendfriend came over last night and
  like i was playing CS and not paying her any attention,
  <Crac|ked> so like she silently slid under my desk and undid
  my pants and gave me oral -
  <Crac|ked> to cut a long story short after i was done, she
  looked up at me and said:
  <Crac|ked> "You do realise i just gave you a geeks fanatasy -
  CS and a blow-job!"
  <RoCkYTrAiL> lol.
  <JimmyBoy> I don't think that's a good fantasy...
  <JiveHut> FAG!!!
  <RoCkYTrAiL> fag!
  <Treader> homo
  <JimmyBoy> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125093
text:
  <Maugan> How did Mako get the 8 year old boy to cry twice?
  <Mako> Maugan: I forget, how?
  <Maugan> He wiped his bloody dick on its teddy bear
  <Kash> He wiped the blood on
  <Kash> fucker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125140
text:
  <Hito> Golden showers, fecal, fisting, bondage, S&M,
  cock-pumping, beastiality, dead people, babies, women,
  children, men, stuffed animals, trees, etc.
  <Chubbzilla> ¤¦Hito¦¤ nice weekend planned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125181
text:
  Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but
  she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read
  what she said there and typed back to her what i would have
  said
  Brandon2W: i need therapy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125222
text:
  Guillaume: So you wnna bough me a dictionnary huh ?
  Gila-Monster: lol Yep. An english one.
  Guillaume: Nha nonsense I completely masterize the english
  language.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125317
text:
  <Setups> my mom called my dad "do this hand"
  <Setups> she meant nail polish
  <Setups> and hes like "no i dont want to"
  <Setups> and im like
  <Setups> "go ahead dad, you have alot of experience with doing
  hands"
  <Setups> then hes like
  <Setups> "dont think i cant hear you at night"
  <Setups> and i shutted up :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125445
text:
  <DigDug> i think i'm gonna walk to the movie theater and see
  dinosaur...
  <kimy-> and be surrounded by like 10 year old girls?
  <Amanda_> He said Dinosaur, not N'Sync.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125493
text:
  -->  ( join )  josiejaz
  (~jimmie@hide-53860.dial.tor1.sprint-canada.net) joined (#
  linux).
  ( josiejaz )  fucking god damn peice of s**t ISP
  ( Eric )  i love how you cencored "shit"
  ( Eric )  but forgot fucking and damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125540
text:
  <Dead_Ice> dial up CS is good
  <Dead_Ice> cos ya lag that much you can dodge the bullets
  matrix style


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125662
text:
  <Sh-arpe> YOU ARE THE MOST STUPID PPL ON TE WHOLE IRC !i don't
  know if i wrote without mistakes and i don't care at all !


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125713
text:
  <+Black_Ninja> What's the difference between the catholic
  church and the national prison system?
  <RedComet> you dont have to drop the soap to get it up the
  ass?
  <+Black_Ninja> Ans: the prisions wait until the kids are over
  18 before sending them to places where they can get raped


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125826
text:
  <glacial>  I love school
  <glacial>  Today our term paper due date's set
  <glacial>  Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper
  on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a
  note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with
  a note from the dead member.
  <glacial>  So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme
  sexual exhaustion?"
  <glacial>  She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
  <glacial>  "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with
  your other hand"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125867
text:
  * sty is now listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two
  Tribes
  * Bluey is now listening to The Printer - Churning Out Pages.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.125931
text:
  <Gage> And then my teacher asked me, "Do you think it's
  alright for people to wear Confederate flags to school and
  scream racial epithets?" and I said "Yes, because then it'll
  be easier for us to know who to beat the shit out of."
  <Gage> I thought that was funny
  <Gage> And she didn't do anything about me saying "shit"
  either because we were discussing free speech and its role in
  school, it would've been too ironic for her to send me to the
  office


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126031
text:
  <Boyzoid> we went through almost 4 cases of beer
  <Boyzoid> and most of that was drunk by my dad and I
  <Boyzoid> I get my liver form him
  <jamiejackson> you'll get it from someone else soon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126078
text:
  <Ravsieg> My firewall just blocked itself from accessing the
  network.
  <Ravsieg> I wonder if this is a good or a bad sign.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126127
text:
  <Velario> where the fucks john gone?
  <My`Albanian`Ass> outside to piss in a bucket
  <Velario> long piss
  <My`Albanian`Ass> big bucket


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126187
text:
  <T-Dragonus> There was a young fellow named Bliss
  <T-Dragonus> Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
  <T-Dragonus>         For even with Venus
  <T-Dragonus>         His recalcitrant penis
  <T-Dragonus> Would never do better than t
  <T-Dragonus>                            h
  <T-Dragonus>                            i
  <T-Dragonus>                            s
  <T-Dragonus>                            .


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126253
text:
  <setzer> i just did the most disgusting thing I have ever done
  <setzer> i was fapping
  <setzer> and I wiped it on the dish towel
  <Miroku> loser
  <Miroku> were u in the kitchen
  <setzer> no
  <setzer> i ran to the kitchen
  <setzer> I didnt have my wipey sock
  <setzer> i had already finished
  <setzer> i just wiped the after-product on our dish towel
  <Miroku> dunt tell anyone
  <Miroku> and see what happens
  <setzer> im not going to


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126300
text:
  <LieparDestin> i challenged god to a duel once
  <LieparDestin> the next day my rabbit died
  <LieparDestin> i guess i lost :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126343
text:
  <SarahS> With my large internal capacity to hold water, and
  your creative igeniuty, we can rule the world!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126390
text:
  <@i386> NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films.
  susicide
  <BenZor> Dude
  <BenZor> if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126437
text:
  <@unionguy> let me tell you what i did with my saxaphone
  <souletr> please don't start this off with one time at
  bandcamp...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126491
text:
  <Berzerker> i shit too big
  <Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
  <Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
  <Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
  <Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126593
text:
  <naet> i got my sat scores bak
  <naet> 540 verball and 500 math
  <naet> so thats liek 900 total
  <Go> right


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126643
text:
  <Dark_Soul>Just because I'm from Canada doesnt mean I live in
  an igloo.
  <Ralts>What, you fucking homeless?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126748
text:
  <[S]Supey|Llama> oogm! britney! toxic! my bro has the best
  songs!!!!1oneoneone(x, where y=2, and x=y/2)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126797
text:
  <Beck-Fan> are we so desprit for petty entertanment (roms)
  that wa suck up to these people that think there gods because
  they spent 24/7 on there computors


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126892
text:
  <wasabi> I wish catheters were comfortable and socially
  acceptible
  <wasabi> and that I had a minifridge under my desk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.126989
text:
  <Xpert887> youre gonna be a computer god one day and people
  around the world will come to you with their problems
  <onesidedzer0> then i'll give them bullshit explanations and
  take their money
  <Xpert887> ohh so youre gonna take after gateway?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127038
text:
  <Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor
  <Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous
  <Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127086
text:
  <DiskSpeed> my friend and I were talking and we thought it
  would be cool if instead of using transistors, processor
  manufacturers just shrank little sweatshop workers and made
  them hold hands and the electric shock would go through them
  <DiskSpeed> and they would be in a maze and change whos hand
  they were holding for different things
  <DiskSpeed> and the cache with the processor is really meth
  that is constantly fed to these miniature workers to keep them
  quick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127135
text:
  *** Maquiavelo changes the topic to 'If you don't want to have
  kids, have sex with your sister in law and you'll have
  nephews'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127184
text:
  <MrSaturn> google dosent seem to be working.  when i press the
  "i'm feeling lucky" button i'm left unsatisfied


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127240
text:
  <Xellos-san> don't confuse barbecues with hookers
  <Xellos-san> the only way you can tell them apart is to set
  them on fire
  <Xellos-san> if it runs away, it's a hooker
  <Xellos-san> if it stays, it's a barbecue
  <Xellos-san> or a dead hooker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127283
text:
  (Elim) bah had to do finals today....finals there like sex, i
  get done to quick, and i sit there quiet for an hour thinking
  about what i did wrong...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127332
text:
  <RockShox> greddy is pretty high quality stuff
  <RockShox> i prefer apexi exhausts tho
  <ocx> for cars?
  <RockShox> no for bicycles


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127395
text:
  <Pat_The_Bunny> my dad is such a pimp
  <Spacechimp> ROFL  what?
  <Pat_The_Bunny> back in the day....he had these red satin
  sheets that are currently on my bed
  <Spacechimp> um
  <Pat_The_Bunny> so he walks into the room...
  <Pat_The_Bunny> and pats the sheets
  <Spacechimp> lol
  <Pat_The_Bunny> and says, "you should see how good these
  sheets look with two blondes between them"
  <Pat_The_Bunny> i cant sleep now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127470
text:
  * tania has joined #maths
  <tania> if i had a line on a graph, how would i know points
  (x,y,z) lie on the graph?
  <LackLustre> ERR HERR HERRR SUB THEM INTO THE LINE EQUATIONS
  <tania> and then what?
  <LackLustre> MASTURBATE INTO A PAPER CUP!!!!!
  <LackLustre> no, you're done, truthfully.
  <tania> lol
  <LackLustre> let's say i got a totally fucking crazy line like
  y = 3x + 2
  <LackLustre> it sickens me to type it, but there we go
  <LackLustre> is (2,1) on it?
  * sabamacx rofls :D
  <LackLustre> does 2 = 3.1 + 2
  <LackLustre> NO IT FUCKING WELL DOESN'T
  <LackLustre> SO FUCK YOU, LINE, FUCK YOU, POINTS
  <sabamacx> we need more people like LackLustre, he's my golden
  ray for the day :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127551
text:
  <Helix> fuck
  <Helix> my back right tire is flat
  <Helix> this is lame
  <Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
  <Owashawa> problem solved
  <Helix> then i have to change it
  <Helix> and its cold
  <Helix> and wet and shit
  <irn> You fucking girl
  <irn> get out there
  <irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her
  to hospital, eh?
  <Helix> it'd make it
  <Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
  <irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
  <Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
  <Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
  <irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit
  during a balloon fetish romp?
  <Helix> id masterbate until i passed out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127598
text:
  (WoHo): im as pure as a virgin :D
  (Lachlann): take out the 2nd, 3rd and 4th word from woho's
  sentence and it's true


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127638
text:
  <JelloMan> jesus loves the little children, all the children
  of the world...
  <JelloMan> white and white, white and white, they are precious
  in his sight.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127688
text:
  <vanguard> i lie awake at night
  <vanguard> thinking about how one day
  <vanguard> buy some chance of dumb luck
  <Redback> you will write your whole story on one line?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127744
text:
  <chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi*
  <zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that
  <chilomen> oh shit
  <chilomen> lol :S ill change it
  <chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3*
  <zeddevil2> ...
  <zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127792
text:
  <anial8r> you know what? KFC is ONE letter yes ONE letter away
  from fuck.
  <anial8r> i have just thought of their next motto
  <anial8r> KFC! the only thing missing is U!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127841
text:
  <ChaosBob> somebody needs to write an irc client that makes
  chat text look like source code
  <ChaosBob> for when your boss walks in the room


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127892
text:
  <glasnost> i remember how DOS had no command for recursive
  removes
  <glasnost> until they added deltree
  <Logan> glasnost: deltree
  <glasnost> thanks logan.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127939
text:
  <anarch> i should put some pants on and go check my mail
  <Burimpu> or you could do it without pants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.127981
text:
  themuffinman217: so what are the specs on your new system?
  themuffinman217: did you benchmarck it?
  Treeko: 16khz processor
  Treeko: 7 bytes of ram
  Treeko: 100 bits of harddrive space
  Treeko: a 16x16 monochrome display
  themuffinman217: qort36i16[okf[23
  Treeko: and the audio can do beeps in both high pitch AND low
  pitch
  themuffinman217: so... dell?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128107
text:
  <Starscream> okay, you guys suck and blow simultaneously,
  making you all
  excellent trumpet players.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128152
text:
  <BX|Lyfe> im gonna be waiting with a shotgun to rob santa
  <BX|Lyfe> then its off to the pawn shop, ho ho ho


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128201
text:
  <lasthero> i own a lot of cds
  <lasthero> and i own a kick ass stereo too
  <lasthero> but don't own speackers, they cost so much


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128261
text:
  <koharski> heh, my dad "hey, can you run some CAT5 into my
  room?"
  <koharski> apparently he wants to "check his email in bed"
  <koharski> yesterday the router was blinking alot in my room
  <koharski> so I went upstairs and knocked on his door
  <koharski> "get any interesting emails?"
  <koharski> he told me to go to bed :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128311
text:
  <Doctor_Vamp> damnit!!
  <Doctor_Vamp> i got an orange dick
  <Doctor_Vamp> i shouldn't eat doritos and masturbate


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909722
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128362
text:
  <Catatonia> I wonder.. how much the american soldiers who
  found Saddam will get paid :)
  <Andrea> catatonia, the guy who gave him up gets $25 million!
  <Catatonia> phwoar!
  <nibbler> its iraqi powerball


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128542
text:
  <reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and
  looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
  <hypr> wtf are donut seeds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128601
text:
  <fretless-> slackware sucks
  <brain_> ...lol
  <fretless-> brain_: you're laughing like you know better or
  something
  <brain_> fretless-:  and i'm guessin... window rules ?
  * fretless- smacks the shit out of brain
  <Flimflam> lmao
  <brain_> why, so you can eat it ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128656
text:
  <Fitteh> My cellphone has a clock in it though and that is
  what I use.
  <ptj225A> Don't you have the Speaking Clock?
  <MaxBack> Who doesn't? Here, let me just pull my time-midget
  out of my pocket and slap his bottom. Sounds like it's 2:24,
  and that's in the P.M.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128701
text:
  RandomLs: I find it strange that grown men are still obsessing
  over pokemon cards.
  xZeppelin Martyr: I'm guessing you never owned a Japanese
  holographic Charazard when you were little.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128778
text:
  <TheDingo> okay.. i walked into the kitchen to get something,
  and my mom is on the phone with someone and she says "i said,
  'who are you to talk? you showed the inside of your anus to
  half the nation!'"
  <TheDingo> and i just screamed "you know the goatse man?!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128842
text:
  <nuance> er s/./,
  <cherub> don't forget to s/0,5/0.5/!
  <nuance> regexp nazi
  <cherub> s/nazi/victim/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128899
text:
  <bobthedinosaur> umm
  <The_StarWarz_Dude> heh.
  <bobthedinosaur> not memory you idiot
  <bobthedinosaur> the ram
  <Raid[Shower]> lol
  <okram> ram = memory you idiot
  <The_StarWarz_Dude> RAM IS MEMORY YOU DOLT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128949
text:
  ShaZam: been here nig
  ShaZam: except for my cell phone contract expired and i havent
  gotten a new one yet
  Serrin: Who the FUCK did you think you were talking to?
  ShaZam: oh wrong IM tab
  Serrin: "nig"? You know you're a white kid who plays WoW all
  day right?
  Serrin: You going to load up your 9 and go defend your turf at
  the mall from the bloods now? I hear they're moving on the
  yogurt stand...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.128994
text:
  Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy
  controlled ship of war! o/`
  Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
  Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of
  residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled
  buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
  Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
  Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level.
  %)
  Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of
  residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled
  boyancy controlled ship of war!
  E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that
  currently houses my conscious and those physical
  manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common
  residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum
  double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
  %


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129049
text:
  <g1powermac> unbelievable
  <g1powermac> we caught someone dumping trash in our dumpster
  <g1powermac> wouldn't be a problem if trash pickup was free
  <g1powermac> we couldn't stop the person in time, so we took
  the trash out, went through it, found an address in the mail
  in it, and dumped the trash back at their house


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129105
text:
  <Zephyrr> Nobody should steal my band's name...not that they'd
  want it...but if they do, I'll tell my mother and she'll do
  stuff...
  <Zephyrr> So there.
  <Undine> Fear Zephs mom.
  <Undine> She does stuff.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129165
text:
  <cygnus> in windows
  <cygnus> what it mean
  <cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
  <Sephiroth> means it is shared
  <Sephiroth> across your network
  <cygnus> how did you know that
  <cygnus> i thought it meant it was heavy or something
  <cygnus> like
  <cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129216
text:
  <Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy
  without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care
  who) 's anger?
  <MightyQuinn> easy
  <MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129259
text:
  <RSN> Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching..
  not just target shooting like our neighbours to the south..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129320
text:
  <DoctorRiff> well anyway, this drill sarge gets everyone lined
  up, and starts yelling at all the recruits, like how they do
  <DoctorRiff> and he was over to the left of the line, when
  someone way off in the right yells "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME
  DEATH!"
  <DoctorRiff> and the drill sarge yells "WHO SAID THAT?!" and
  goes over and starts yelling at the right of the line
  <DoctorRiff> then someone at the left of the line says
  "PATRICK HENRY YOU FOOL!"
  <DoctorRiff> according to my dad's friend, it was worth all
  the extra jogging and military-type training they had to do


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129370
text:
  «@Sheps» Neom, you fucktard
  «@neomonk» ?
  «@Deeps» Pld.
  «@neomonk» stfu dan or i'll gline you. :o
  «@Sheps» I just d/led your script from your website and it has
  all your oper passwords saved
  «@neomonk» wtf?
  ::Snotice-> Sheps is now a Network Administrator
  ***Quits neomonk oper@security.team (Glined(muhahahaha)
  ***Quits deeps deeps@dpc6682041222.direcpc.com (Glined
  (muhahahaha)
  «@Sheps» muahahaha owned
  ***Quits Sheps dan@pcp03341202pcs.danbry01.ct.comcast.net
  (Glined(Network Abuse)
  ::Joins:: neomonk (~john@toronto-hse-ppp3635564.sympatico.ca)
  ***Quits neomonk ~john@toronto-hse-ppp3635564.sympatico.ca
  (Glined(You fucking idiot.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129469
text:
  <Quixo> how about we kill their daughter and hang them from a
  tree instead
  <Quixo> upside down
  <Quixo> split down the middle
  <WildWing> With tobasco sauce?
  <Quixo> ...uhh...sure
  <Quixo> freak


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129572
text:
  Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
  "I have a sore throat."
  2000 BC : "eat this root"
  1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
  1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this
  elixir."
  1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
  1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this
  antibiotic."
  2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont
  you eat this root."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129645
text:
  <Destruya> HEY WOW I'M SO GOOD AT BF1942 BECAUSE I HANG
  OUTSIDE SPAWN POINTS
  <Destruya> ESPECIALLY THE PERMANENT ONES
  <fatehaze> lol
  <Destruya> AND I FUCKING KILL EVERYONE BEFORE THEY CAN SHOOT
  ME BACK
  <Destruya> AND PEOPLE LIKE THIS "DESTROYA" GUY YELL AT ME
  PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING AWESOMELY 1337
  <Destruya> AND HE'S JEALOUS OF MY MAD SKIZZILS, YO
  <Destruya> OMGOMGOMG
  <Destruya> I SHOULD WRITE A TIPBOOK ON BF1942
  <Destruya> "BF1942: HOW TO BE FUCKING COOL LIKE ME IN JUST ONE
  VERY SIMPLE STEP"
  <Destruya> </sarcasm>
  <Destruya> I just got out of a really goddamned frustrating
  BF1942 game full of career cocksmoking permanent base
  campers.  Could you tell?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129752
text:
  <worstazn> yo i need to find a new bitch..
  <mejmanyme> k i have a plan
  <mejmanyme> you running windows or linux?
  <worstazn> winxp....
  <mejmanyme> k, hit start and then "run"
  <mejmanyme> type in "cmd"
  <mejmanyme> after commandprompt opens
  <mejmanyme> type currentbitch /release
  <mejmanyme> then currentbitch /renew
  <mejmanyme> now type currentbitch /all and send the results


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129840
text:
  <H8Breeder-> when i was 13 i would go over to my brothers
  house to watch a porno when he wasnt there, then i'd ride my
  bike back to my house to beat off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129890
text:
  <+starry_eyed_surprise> why do girls have to have a pic to be
  proven female??
  <@Storm_Queen> Because this is the internet.
  <@Storm_Queen> Unless proven otherwise, you are a 50yr old man
  with a bucket of KFC in one hand and your penis in the other.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129939
text:
  <Dragon> argh, is there anything in life but school? Oh sure!
  There's the complaning about school, the brief periods of
  unconciousness at night, and sweet sweet death..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.129999
text:
  *** DADDDDDY has joined #hockey2
  <DADDDDDY> HONK
  <DADDDDDY> PIMPIN' AINT EASY
  <FredSmyth> PIMPIN' IS QUITE DIFFICULT
  <Eulogy_> PIMPIN HAS PROVED TO BE MORE WORK THAN I FIRST
  ASSUMED
  <Maltby> THE DIFFICULTY IN THE OCCUPATION OF PIMPIN' IS
  EXPONENTIALLY MORE COMPLEX THAN FIRST BELIEVED
  <DADDDDDY> FAGS
  *** DADDDDDY has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130097
text:
  <Revolution_Man> I want to be launched out of my coffin at my
  funeral.
  <RandomMan> hahah
  <Inferno> Liar.
  <Revolution_Man> With a tape recording attached to the body
  saying "I'M STILL ALIVE, CATCH ME!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130187
text:
  <phrenzy> i went to laser force yesterday all that cs made me
  really good
  <a3LegdCat> so you camped like a mofo?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130280
text:
  <@Fam|work> I was at the airport, and this family were having
  ALL their bags searched
  <@Fam|work> and the one teenage girl was bitching at the other
  teenage girl saying "I told you not to make a joke about a
  bomb".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130373
text:
  Cr|t|cal kicked by cajuncook (those "|"s are really obnoxious)
  6:10pm
  (|N-64|) those "|"'s are called pipes.
  (cajuncook) well
  (cajuncook) they are quite obnoxious
  (gogglespy) so would #| be a hash pipe?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130421
text:
  * Quits: zytel (~pirch@svcr-216-108-199-29.dsl.svcr.epix.net)
  (Quit: You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
  doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and
  shouldn't, use the tape.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130509
text:
  Pat877:    nice...
  OB1Jenobe: w3rd
  Pat877:    ok stop that
  OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
  Pat877:    i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
  OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
  Pat877:    dick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130562
text:
  <sho3boy_kixx> What's the difference between jam and jelly?
  <kwistlebear> wht?
  <sho3boy_kixx> I can't jelly my cock down your throat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130607
text:
  BlkBlade393: would you hit it?
  WordsLikeVenom: i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd
  be the king of britain


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130732
text:
  <Jans> goodbye everybody
  <Jans> i've got to go!
  <Xi> gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
  <Jans> mama! ooohoohooooo!
  <Xi> i dont wanna die
  <Jans> I sometimes wish i'd never been born at all
  <Jans> [guitar break]
  <Xi> i see a little sihlloetto of a man
  <TilK> just woke up
  <TilK> life is hard
  <Jans> scaremous scaramous, will you do the fandago?
  <Xi> thunderbolts and lightning
  <Xi> very very frightning me
  <Jans> Galileo
  <Jans> Galileo
  <TilK> ?
  <Jans> Galileo figaro!
  <TilK> u guys had a trip ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130837
text:
  <Squatter> Liking Russians is one of those neutral things that
  doesn't say anything about someone
  <Lush> Yes it does
  <Lush> After Khaled told his friends about me, they all wrote
  to say that Russians are fabulous in the general vicinity of
  the bedroom
  <Lush> I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just
  smiled politely
  <Squatter> Really? I never heard that. Normally I think first
  and foremost of the arts, then brutally oppressive government
  <Lush> I think the former does not contadict the statement
  about bedrooms
  <Squatter> Neither does the latter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130927
text:
  <wicked> They are playing multiplayer in GTA SA
  ***FatCat has joined the room (#hih)
  <wicked> my brother is a stripper and his tits are hanging out
  <FatCat> older or younger?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.130975
text:
  Drewtetz: you may be dropping rhymes, but I've tapped the
  zeitgeist, I smack you so hard your mom told me to "Play nice!
  "
  Jon: drew.
  Jon: you just rhymed "zeitgeist."
  Jon: WTF?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131070
text:
  <Drhubbard> watched this film called 'anal lesbians' the other
  day.
  <Drhubbard> they spent about half the film going through the
  fridge labelling everything..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131130
text:
  <Arch1942> oh my god i love this WC3 mod
  <dj> whats it like?
  <Arch1942> 4 races that have 3 abilities each
  <Arch1942> orcs, humans, night elves, and undead.
  <Arch1942> Very Cool.
  <dj> cool
  <dj> whats the differences between the races?
  <Hamster-AFK> dj - Well, white people can't jump for one thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131216
text:
  <baloo>lispy: I have this horrible addiction to food. I try to
  quit, but I just get wracked with pain after a day or two
  every time and just have to have a cheeseburger.
  <baloo>They only told me the positive effects of food. Nobody
  ever told me food would be hard to quit.
  <malfunct`>their highly addictive products which are
  advertised as safe got me hooked and ruined my teeth and put
  me at high risk for heart disease and diabetes
  <baloo>exactly
  <malfunct`>and from what I hear, mcdonalds is ruining my liver
  <baloo>Not to mention high cholestorol
  <lispy>baloo: i find myself horribly addicted to O_2...i can't
  go five minutes without it...i get shakey and light
  headed...i'll fight someone that won't let me get my O_2 fix
  <malfunct`>ok bal, I don't buy that pepsi gave me high
  colesterol
  <baloo>lispy: I know what you mean. I get the same way about
  water after a couple hours on a hot day.
  <malfunct`>lispy: yeah, the 02 addiction is nearly as bad as
  my dihydrogen monoxide addiction
  <malfunct`>and you know how many bad things dihydrogen
  monoxide can do
  <baloo>malfunct`: Yeah. I mean, holy hell, you mix dhydrogen
  monoxide and dioxygen long enough undisturbed on the hood of
  your car and it'll eat right through it. Might take a few
  years, but it'll do it.
  <malfunct`>baloo: yeah, and how many natural disasters can be
  traced back to the dihydrogen monoxide as a source
  <lispy>baloo: it only takes a couple ounces of that stuff to
  kill a baby in a matter of minutes if you leave their face in
  it
  <baloo>malfunct`: No kidding. You breathe even a little of
  that and it'll hurt like hell for days.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131270
text:
  <Tovart> "She sees that he is ready to splash white liquid, so
  she attaches
  his penis on her nipple"
  <Dareon> O_o Oh, those inscrutable Orientals...
  <Zephy> lol. "With a staplegun"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131317
text:
  <jonathan> YOUR BREATS REMIND ME OF MOUNT RUSHMORE
  <Legolas> Her breasts have presidents faces on them?
  <jonathan> MY FACE SHOULD BE IMPRINTED AMONG THEM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131370
text:
  * Aro|Sick dies slowly
  <Straylight> sounds like you've gotten my nasty cold
  <Straylight> GOOD GOD
  <Straylight> IRC IS A TRANSMISSION VECTOR


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131419
text:
  <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE
  WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/
  _EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
  <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131462
text:
  <zamros> THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING MY OWN COMPUTER IS THAT I
  CAN JIZZ ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD AND NOT FEEL GUILTY THAT MY
  FAMILY IS GOING TO TYPE ON IT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131571
text:
  <akrs> You know you have fallen far from the path of light
  when you have to read the git man pages for push
  <buffalo> fallen from grace, akrs
  <akrs> I'm gonna do a git push -f +[sha]:master
  <buffalo> that's a dark arts spell, that is
  <buffalo> such commands do not come out of love, compassion,
  and understanding
  <buffalo> they come from malice
  <buffalo> and the will to destroy
  <buffalo> and chaos


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131643
text:
  <Seppukoi> kthx so today in driver's ed we had a guest speaker
  <Seppukoi> and he was talking about teh alcohol, and also teh
  seatbelts
  <Seppukoi> he was explaining this article he read
  <Seppukoi> well, the article was talking about these two
  idiots who crashed their car into the front doors of a school
  <Seppukoi> and said they were tyring to kill themselves, but
  they survived with minor injuries because they were wearing
  seatbelts
  <Seppukoi> so I screamed out "HAHA NOOB!!!"
  <Seppukoi> and my friend screamed out "those guys SUCK at the
  killing themselves"
  <Seppukoi> he also said "those newbs got fux0red up!"
  <Seppukoi> I said "they probably had wallhacks" and the
  teacher was looking at us like "wtf"
  <Seppukoi> we kept talking about it and comparing it to things
  :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131735
text:
  <+Zebz> someone should plot a graph of how much money each of
  these nigerian emails is offering against time
  <+Zebz> I think it's some kind of hidden message


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131795
text:
  <+MegamanX2K> buh
  <@Dragon_Ninja> HIya X
  <+MegamanX2K> Diablo 2 pisses me off
  <@Dragon_Ninja> what is pissing you off about it now?
  <+MegamanX2K> stupid fucking Venom Lord rush
  <+MegamanX2K> who do they think they are, Zerg?
  <@Dragon_Ninja> LOL
  <+MegamanX2K> god, I was waiting for Diablo to go
  "KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE ^______________________^"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131890
text:
  <|nLv|Dasyati> a haiku by Dasyati
  <|nLv|Dasyati> LOLOL
  <|nLv|Dasyati> ROFLMAO
  <|nLv|Dasyati> STFU fag


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131933
text:
  <colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the
  contents of your
  nostrils into a trash can


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.131977
text:
  <Ashen> sometimes, we get users that suddenly make me realise
  why the mirc troutslap command was invented.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132028
text:
  <Spoon35> my girlfriend drew a picture of an orgasm once
  <Spoon35> I didn't think it would look like that.
  <SenorWeir> was it her with another man?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132075
text:
  (@DaySleeper) straight people only need gays for the fashion
  industry
  (@DaySleeper) gay people need straights so they don't die out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132178
text:
  <tag0y> A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
  <tag0y> Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
  <tag0y> She found a good way
  <tag0y> To combine work and play:
  <tag0y> She sells C shells by the seashore.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132230
text:
  <MrAccident> ...
  <MrAccident> My laptop really is like an Etch-a-Sketch now
  <MrAccident> The slightest jostling or movement while it is
  running will cause a BSoD
  <MrAccident> And it won't recognize the hard drive after that
  until you turn the thing upside-down at least once


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132277
text:
  <xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
  <xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
  <***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her
  door ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132330
text:
  <Eugene> Packets: Sent = 1000, Received = 455, Lost = 545 (54%
  loss)
  <Eugene> Minimum = 315ms, Maximum = 1127ms, Average = 592ms
  <Eugene> geez, I don't even think this even counts as the
  internet anymore.
  <Eugene> I can probably get better responses with two tin cans
  and a piece of string.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132450
text:
  * Inthesto can imagine this dialogue.
  <Inthesto> "He's ill."
  <Inthesto> "You mean he's dope?"
  <Inthesto> "No, I mean he's sick."
  <Inthesto> "So he's cool?"
  <Inthesto> "NO I MEAN HE IS NOT PHYSICALLY WELL HE IS
  DISEASED"
  <Inthesto> "oic"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132527
text:
  <@sTubby> I'm holding the SL45 right now
  <@PuffinFreshWog> i am holding a sl45 too
  <NiffTuRNaL> Im holding a PS2 control
  <@sTubby> I'm holding my dick
  <@sTubby> and 2 phones, and typing...
  <@sTubby> now THAT'S talent
  <@PuffinFreshWog> thats a lot of hands
  <@sTubby> nah, just 3
  <@PuffinFreshWog> call the phones, if they are in the same
  hand as the dick
  <@sTubby> that'd be strangely entertaining
  <@PuffinFreshWog> i can't do that type of thing, my cocks
  needs the full atention of both hands coz it is so huge
  <@PuffinFreshWog> lol
  <@sTubby> 1 hand to rub and 1 hand to watch?
  <@sTubby> "backup"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132602
text:
  <Hellace> \\192.168.28.98\movies2\video clips\kitty stir
  fry.mpeg
  <Hellace> thats fucken wrong
  <Gothmog> im not touching anything with a filename like that
  <Gothmog> work on your subtlety Hellace...
  <Gothmog> call it "dinner.mpeg" or something
  <Hellace> well its dodgy hey
  <Hellace> its a cat getting cooked..
  <Gothmog> yeah i figured that
  <Gothmog> stirfried infact...
  <Hellace> quote by levi "its fucken wrong"
  <Zen> aarg
  <Zen> that fucking horrible
  <Gothmog> you watched it?
  <Gothmog> LOL
  <Gothmog> come on, something called that... you expected it to
  not be fucking horrible?
  <Zen> well curiosity killed the cat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132673
text:
  <arioch> Day changed to 11 Sep 2003
  <arioch> whee
  <ukiro> ok, everyone put on fake beards
  <arioch> don't got one
  <ukiro> grow one
  <ukiro> HURRY
  <arioch> I haven't shaved in 3 or 4 weeks
  <arioch> I have something more than a stubble
  <Cyb> I have a goatsee thing
  <arioch> but that's about it
  <Cyb> er
  <Cyb> goatee
  <Cyb> damnit
  <arioch> you have a goatse
  <ukiro> hahaha
  <Cyb> stupid internet ruined my life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132737
text:
  twentydeadbodies: Now that you're gay you should be picking up
  all sorts of chicks.
  Staticd00r: lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132819
text:
  <Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi
  guys house today
  <Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
  <Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
  <Maxstah> he got pissed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.132889
text:
  <ian_> kierabee, do you like when a guy puts his hand on the
  back of your head and forces you down on his penis?
  <hardlined> haha
  <ian_> Or do you like to be more self-directed
  <kierabee> have you forgotten that i'm a lesbian?
  <hardlined> too much fun for a monday night.
  <ian_> Cuz I've seen it both ways in the pornography movies,
  <ian_> kierabee, lesbos still enjoy the dick.
  <ian_> The Dick.
  <hardlined> if she is a lesbian your gonna have to go the
  forceful way.
  <kierabee> well, that's clearly all the education that you've
  had
  <ian_> kierabee, the pepper spray only stung for a couple days
  after I last had sex


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133033
text:
  Sweetlilluv: Would you really fuck any random gurl?
  Ichiro number 1: Its a joke..a joke....see this is why guys
  dont talk to girls about sex.....gurls take everything to
  seriously


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133095
text:
  *** valinhorn has joined #oregoons
  <coyo7e> Immediately, she realizes that Christian Grey is not
  some ancient forty-year old dude, practically crumbling to
  dust atop his icy blonde empire, but a very hot young man:
  <coyo7e> So young - and attractive, very attractive. He's
  tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie
  with unruly dark copper colored hair and intense, bright gray
  eyes that regard me shrewdly.
  <coyo7e> That... is one hell of a tie. I'm going to have to
  ask someone, please, look into the kindness and the goodness
  of your soul and photoshop me a picture of a black tie with
  Robert Pattinson's hair and eyes stuck on it, gazing at me
  shrewdly.
  <valinhorn> um
  <valinhorn> wow
  *** valinhorn left #oregoons []


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133136
text:
  Dublyner: I was up in Winnepeg and some guy on the street
  asked me if I had two loonies for a toonie. I thought he was
  going to rape me or something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133182
text:
  <jeyjeydiggy> hey im writing a paper about madonna and i need
  someone thats gay to help me out, melee can you help me?
  <melee> you sure thats not an autobiography?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133283
text:
  <Calisa> When you went to the IKEA in Pittsburgh, what was the
  service like?
  <Bubbaprog> the pitt store is great
  <Bubbaprog> eat some swedish balls while you're there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133332
text:
  <MuadDib> To a certain degree I am, come on its the internet I
  can be whatever I want
  <Thalamasa> Except, apparently, a person of intellect
  <Thalamasa> <.<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133422
text:
  <benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only
  question
  asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about
  solutions to the
  food shortage in the rest of the world?"
  <benja> The survey was a huge failure...
  <benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
  <benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest"
  meant.
  <benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage"
  meant.
  <benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
  <benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution"
  meant.
  <benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
  <benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the
  world" meant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133472
text:
  * qpsk likes how tarantino does tribute movies
  <qpsk> jackie brown was blaxploitation
  <qpsk> kill bill is kung fu
  <slightly> his next film will be an homage to public safety
  films: "Duck and Cover.....with a Vengeance"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133533
text:
  <navi> HELLO, MY NAME IS ASHLEIGH, AND I AM REAL.
  <Chibi-Usa> HELLO
  <Chibi-Usa> MY NAME IS CHIBI
  <Chibi-Usa> AND I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION
  <Frostuman_The_White> HELLO
  <Frostuman_The_White> MY NAME IS FROSTUMAN THE WHITE
  <navi> and you are going to take over Middle Earth
  <Frostuman_The_White> AND I AM AN ALCO---I'M GOD! YES! THAT'S
  WHAT I MEANT!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133636
text:
  * +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
  * +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
  * +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
  * +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
  * +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
  * +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
  * +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins
  to operate on nil pointers
  * +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
  * +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
  * +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
  * +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
  * +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate
  derived classes!
  * +politik is out of ideas
  * +politik :: ~politik();
  * +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
  <+ramoth4> I win!
  * +ramoth4 beat C++.
  <+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133684
text:
  <TreFitty> bloodClot`, I remember when you made fun of my
  viewsonic monitor
  <TreFitty> :(
  <bloodClot`> you remember a lot of weird shit that never
  happened


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133736
text:
  <Noobe> Look at me. I'm topdeck. I use retarded internet
  lingo.
  <Yawgatog> Noobe: Your nick is NOOBE.
  <Noobe> Dude, Noobe is my real life name.
  <Yawgatog> lol noobe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133785
text:
  *** Signoff: Froz- (Quit: and /exit were sitting in a park. /
  exit left, so who was still sitting in the park?)
  *** Froz- (~nogonnta@dsl-lprgw4g4c.dial.inet.fi) has joined
  channel #mpsource
  *** Mode change "+o Froz-" for channel #mpsource by ChanServ
  <Froz-> /quit and /exit were sitting in a park. /exit left, so
  who was still sitting in the park?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133844
text:
  <mightyflo> why is the k in cmyk a k?
  <nitrifik_> cause it's kool like dat.
  <mightyflo> cyan, magenta, and yellow kool-aid
  <mightyflo> that would go over pretty well with the geek crowd
  <mightyflo> they should market a new flavor that way
  <nitrifik_> CMYKOOL
  <nitrifik_> I'd buy it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133893
text:
  <modem> is it true that if you die in a dream you die in real
  life?
  <thecatisold> no
  <thecatisold> but if you piss all over yourself in a dream
  <thecatisold> you do piss all over yourself in real life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133942
text:
  <Tetrad> the program I just wrote 1) compiled the first time
  without any errors and 2) worked like it was supposed to
  <Tetrad> I don't know whether to be proud or scared to death


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.133990
text:
  * DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
  <Joelz> Good.
  <Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134035
text:
  coolkid8245: ... .. .  .... ..
  Jersey Eleven: What the hell?
  Jersey Eleven: Trying to do morse code over the internet is
  like coming out of the closet
  Jersey Eleven: Even if you do, you're still a fag.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134134
text:
  <Meltro> the song you are referring to is 'Dueling Banjos', as
  made famous in some hickish movie I don't remember
  <Meltro> Requiem for a full set of teeth or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134239
text:
  <Justin> I just thought of a great game.
  <Justin> A bunch of men stand naked in a room, facing a TV
  <Justin> Gay porn is played.
  <Justin> IF you get an erection, you're out of the game.
  <Justin> And the last guy without an erection wins.
  <Justin> "Last Man not Standing"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134295
text:
  <FBS> how do you know the exact version of bind ?
  <FBS> fuck those who answer bind -v or some other bullshit
  <eb> bind -v
  <ghoz> other bullshit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134350
text:
  -|- mode/#pwot [+u Snoof] by ChanServ
  <Umaro> * ChanServ sets mode: +fu Snoof
  <Snoof> :'(
  <Umaro> sorry =/
  <Snoof> that's the most action i've seen all week


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134441
text:
  (@DarkJedi) i hate when people IM you for no reason
  (@DarkJedi) i hate talking about nothing
  (+chumpman) unless they are hot girls
  (+chumpman) then it's like
  (+chumpman) keep talking bitch, and maybe I can get inside
  your pants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134489
text:
  <ZenAmako> Because time really flies, and before you know it,
  6, 7 months have passed...
  <rogueWIRC> zen: paternity suit?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134544
text:
  <Rainman> god, my head is killing me, must be the maths
  classes
  <Darkduck> you should drink up an aspirine with some vodka and
  smoke some weed
  <Darkduck> that'll definetly take care of it ;)
  <Rainman> dude I'm still at school
  <Rainman> where the fuck would I get any aspirine ? :o)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134604
text:
  <Miro-kun> An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and
  generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around
  the lumbering old bomber.
  <Miro-kun> The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you
  can do, I can do better."
  <Miro-kun> Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that
  he would rise to the challenge.
  <Miro-kun> The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level,
  however.
  <Miro-kun> Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did
  you do?"
  <Miro-kun> "We just shut down two engines."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134651
text:
  <Pie> I don't play with WD40 anymore. I actually managed to
  light a fish on fire. while it was underwater


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134698
text:
  <David_0mega> google maps has taught me many things
  <junkntrunk> such as?
  <David_0mega> that my neighbor has a pool for one thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134750
text:
  <DrWoody> One time I was at the store with my friend and there
  were these underage kids in the porn section they kicked out
  while we were in there.
  <DrWoody> so they gave us their money and we bought porn for
  them
  <L33TKnight> your good deed for the day?
  <DrWoody> I like to give back to society.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134799
text:
  <TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the
  adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen
  just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this
  none of these disabled people could catch me"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.134905
text:
  <zerco> we should have our own quote on bash
  <Phaet> dude it's easy
  <Phaet> every quote which contains a word "masturbation" gets
  accepted
  <Phaet> see? we're on bash already :)
  <zerco> hi mom!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135018
text:
  <Eyal> i've been having a dilemma
  <Eyal> what are better to play with
  <Eyal> boobs or balls?
  <Fidel-> boobs
  <hex-> boobs
  <Eyal> i mean, when they're yours
  <Fidel-> balls
  <hex-> balls


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135068
text:
  @redhook: I'm surprised california doesnt require large neon
  writing on handguns that say "WARNING: Bullet Comes Out Here
  ->>>" pointing at the barrel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135118
text:
  <jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should
  measure ourselves up to.
  <jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same
  thing and have it work for us for once.
  <chaind> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135162
text:
  <Saktoth> I hope blackthorn takes over brittania and
  institutes a new regime of laser lights and techno music


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135210
text:
  *** VirginUmboo has joined #html
  <VirginUmboo> lo
  <VirginUmboo> how do i gret a shocwave file in my html?
  * Anapaest googles for "gret"
  *** VirginUmboo has left #html


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135269
text:
  <felix> eek
  <skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
  <felix> no, I said "eek"
  <skrike> girls say "eek"
  <skrike> YOU GIRL
  <oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135318
text:
  (Mutiny) Atarax: you ate a americum disk from a smoke
  detector?
  (Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
  (Mutiny) Atarax: why?
  (Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
  (Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
  (Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn't give me any special powers,
  but it didn't kill me either
  (Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
  (Atarax) "why is that fuck still alive"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135368
text:
  <grifferz> what is more funny is when dalnet EB sends a
  message to their mailing lists  saying "don't talk about this
  issue, kill the thread" thus ensuring the thread will never,
  ever end
  <grifferz> it is like a reverse godwin


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135414
text:
  <Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF
  YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX
  CONTROLLER."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135559
text:
  <Yaksha> What's a Jewish conundrum?
  <justin> I dunno?
  <Yaksha> Free ham
  <justin> that's not a conundrum, you take the ham and donate
  it to charity and get the tax write off.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135615
text:
  <[mN]Cracker> cept my smelly grandparents are in the kitchen
  <[mN]Cracker> AND THEY SMELL SO BAD
  <[mN]Cracker> THEY SMELL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY
  <[mN]Cracker> gawd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135708
text:
  <Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star
  hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in
  September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese
  prostitutes.
  <Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.135902
text:
  <dJOEk> okay, now seriously for a moment
  <dJOEk> a dear friend of mine needs to break up with this girl
  <\slick> punch her in the face and play sir mix-a-lot
  <Crow> slicks solution to every problem.. 100 percent success
  rate


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136015
text:
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> Chop Suey > U!
  <kiro> chop suey not as good as you say
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> yes
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> It is greater than you.
  <kiro> fuck you
  <Shatai> Man, Kyle is not greater than much. I am sure, from
  your analysis, that there are complementary packets of ketchup
  in fast-food restaurants that are "greater than" Kyle.
  *** kiro has quit IRC
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> rofl
  <Shatai> =^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136110
text:
  (@sno) Emacs can mow down forests too. But it mows down
  forests with the passing of its fat, bloated ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136159
text:
  <gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
  implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
  like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
  friends that you're dead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136313
text:
  <calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and
  was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an
  assvibrator
  <ecoli> ew.
  <ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
  <ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator
  store?
  <Aero> he doesnt answer
  *** Quits: calin (No route to host)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136359
text:
  <FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams
  about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136456
text:
  <SLP> I request that you allow me back in the chatroom because
  you have violated mIRC32 rules by kicking me out
  <SLP> if you do not allow me back in the chatroom i will have
  an order saying that you never be allowed to use this chat
  program


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136513
text:
  <BiG_D> Every girl who has ever been attracted to me is a
  vegetarian!
  <BiG_D> Try to explain that!
  <WolfLord> you have no meat
  <WolfLord> hehe
  <BiG_D> hmmm
  <BiG_D> fuck
  <BiG_D> I did not see that coming
  <BiG_D> Last time I tell that story!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136559
text:
  AoD_ELiTe_WaSp> whats the alt command for  ?
  TDJ_Bilbo_Fett> alt+f4
  AoD_ELiTe_WaSp> i will try it
  (Exit)> AoD_ELiTe_WaSp


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136619
text:
  <AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America.
  <AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's
  time whichever family has become more American will win.
  <AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son
  is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on
  my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
  <AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136677
text:
  <xtal> I am a trekker. I am a devout fan, but not enough to
  spend all my waking hours sewing costumes, assembling prop
  replicas, going to conventions, learning klingon, quibbling
  over the finer points of canon, and not having sex.
  <xtal> which is to say
  <xtal> while i'm not having sex anyway
  <xtal> it's not star trek's fault.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136739
text:
  <Enrico> do you like your co-workers
  <Thibster> I'd like them to leave me alone
  <Enrico> have you tried shooting them... I bet you didn't.
  <Thibster> no I tried
  <Thibster> they respawn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136785
text:
  <DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could
  take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve
  people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136878
text:
  <CactusJac> I remember the days when I was angry at the world
  for no apparent reason
  <CactusJac> Then I grew up and found a reason: PEOPLE ARE
  FUCKING STUPID AND SHOULD BE ROUND UP AND SHOT IN THE HEAD


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.136936
text:
  <B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then
  don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like
  to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do
  you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd
  just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home
  while I catch the last of the ball game"
  <B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137044
text:
  <Hempy> i said the funniest thing today
  <Hempy> iwas quite impressed by my own wit
  <Hempy> my mum was bitching to me about how i smoke to much
  weed and how i have no motication and i go
  <Hempy> "fuck... i have motivation... do you think its easy
  getting up to go to the tinny house in the morning?~"
  <Hempy> thats what i said
  <Hempy> and it was funny
  <rhythm> guess u had 2 be there
  <rhythm> or not.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137085
text:
  Daniel: heh i met this chick online who had laser eye surgery
  today, she lives in California
  Nick: and?
  Daniel: and there was also an earthquake in california today


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137134
text:
  <barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking
  up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless
  modem, a
  sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're
  dressed like a mariachi.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137223
text:
  (FishBulb) i exposed my lie once, then |w|dcc made an .avi
  (|W|DCC) #6 101x (680kb): avi of a 2' dick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137270
text:
  <Kazeuri> That would roxor to live in a cave back in the day.
  I would still rather be a pirate though.
  <Kazeuri> I guess I have to settle for internet pirate. Yarrr,
  sail the seven ISPs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137324
text:
  <SwampFox> my way of determining the validity of a holiday is
  where I am at 9:00 AM
  <SwampFox> if I'm in bed, it's good
  <SwampFox> if I'm in Physics, it's a Hallmark holiday


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137379
text:
  <T|gz> Ya know, it'd be kinda cool to taste with your hands
  like flies...
  <t-f-i> ....
  <T|gz> You can just stick your hand on someones food, and you
  can taste it.
  <t-f-i> Have fun, guess you'll have to give up masterbation.
  <T|gz> Oh fuck, nm.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137431
text:
  <kow|wk> so
  <kow|wk> worth noting
  <kow|wk> running "reboot -h" does NOT produce a helpful usage
  message


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137532
text:
  <Magey> On ZNES if you press the ` key it lets you speed up
  the emulation, kind of like a 'fast forward'. I use it so much
  that I sometimes catch my self absent mindedly trying to use
  it when waiting for a page to load.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137580
text:
  <Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag
  <Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137628
text:
  *** Toramo has joined #---------
  <Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!
  <Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137678
text:
  <Random> Actually, I'm not the devil. I'm an interested
  third-party broker. Unfortunately, not being the devil, I
  can't change the size of your ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137773
text:
  <turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge
  fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can
  come and join us too.
  <Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
  <turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
  <Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what
  you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
  <turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously...
  you'd be ruining my life.
  <Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
  [Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will
  you post it on bash.org?
  [Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
  [Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag
  him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise
  him.
  [Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill
  us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
  [Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please
  don't .. I'm begging you.
  [Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did
  she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu
  .
  [Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137825
text:
  <@mazrimt> the guy seemed kinda decent
  <@mazrimt> compared to the normal people who ask for warez ;)
  <@mazrimt> irc has lowered my standards of 'decent' quite a
  bit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137885
text:
  <azzkickr> <enntee> man
  <azzkickr> <enntee> i think my fucking cat is pregneant
  <azzkickr> <angry> dude
  <azzkickr> <angry> you should have used protection.
  <azzkickr> LMAO...
  <azzkickr> sounds like something id do...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137940
text:
  <BlacKcaT>  So my computer is sweet. It's right next to my
  bed, so i can just pull over my keyboard and my mouse, since
  it's optical, and it'll all work and I'm nice and comfy lying
  down on my bed.
  <Benig> So my laptop...
  <BlacKcaT> Fuck you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.137993
text:
  <Mandi> why can't I find the picture I want
  <Borgs> that's because the governement closes those sites and
  procecute people who download those sorts of pictures


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138069
text:
  <pixagen> i might be a mac zealot if i was a rich white kid
  who's parents spoiled him
  <pixagen> or maybe a yuppie
  * natx changes topic to 'Don't hate the user, hate the shiny
  luxurious girl getting industrial design.'
  <pixagen> EXPENSIVE design, you fuckass
  <pixagen> they need a line of UGLY systems
  <pixagen> so i can buy one
  <natx> yeah, ugly macs for ugly people
  <natx> ugly poor people
  <pixagen> hehe
  <natx> wait they have those...
  <natx> theyre called
  <natx> DELLS
  <natx> you fucktard
  <pixagen> eeek
  <pixagen> shut up cracker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138263
text:
  <rdubyaj> dude this car I saw....
  <rdubyaj> was really dusty
  <rdubyaj> and someone had written on it "I wish my wife was
  this dirty"
  <rdubyaj> and underneath that someone else had written "she
  is"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138371
text:
  * ChanServ sets mode: +v Desi_pants
  <+Desi_pants> what?
  <+Desi_pants> WHY DID I GET +VD? I DIDNT SIGN IN!
  <*megan_nosebleed> you should do that
  <+Desi_pants> oh! megan's here! haha hi megan.
  <*megan_nosebleed> you got it from me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138441
text:
  <FIFpe> Dude, can you ask Andrew to look for my wallet when he
  gets home
  <FIFpe> Cause I need it hard
  <Qinop> yeah
  <Qinop> he has it hard
  <FIFpe> THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY
  <FIFpe> Tell him to stick it...in his mail-box, and I"ll pick
  it up on the way to church
  <Qinop> we don't have a box, we have a slot
  <Qinop> actually it's more like a chute
  <Qinop> so we will stick it in our "door"
  <FIFPe> sweet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138488
text:
  <Kevyn> God it's fucking cold out. The temperature in
  Massachusetts has dipped into the teens more than R Kelly.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138536
text:
  <Kel> I got in trouble at the Canadian border. The guy said
  "Do you have any guns or weapons in your vehicle?" and I said
  "Why? What do you need?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138599
text:
  <NeonId> general- Internet talk isn't even worth of being
  called a dialect.  It's a mutilation of language, and we are
  the people who have to compensate for it's brazen idiocy.
  <Potato> I'd even say it bites.
  <JDigital> lol kthx


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138713
text:
  <@Daybreaker> bah
  <@Daybreaker> i got sick oF that bin laden game the first time
  i played it
  <@Daybreaker> like a year ago
  <@Daybreaker> fuck flash games
  <@Blur> hentai?
  <@Daybreaker> shush
  <@Daybreaker> i caN't stand a game where the difficulty levels
  are "poorly made" "badly made" and "free 15 day macromedia
  preview"
  <@Blur> lol
  <@Daybreaker> fuck all that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138782
text:
  <CommanderStab> When I was 10 me and this friend of mine who
  was four years older than me made this Visual Basic game
  called Fatal Move. Basically these pictures he drew would pop
  up with some text like "This guy is a geek! Let's kill him!!"
  and then if you clicked yes another picture would be shown
  with him dead, and if you clicked no some guy called you a
  wimp and the game quit.
  <Bleeding> did the irony of u saying 'lets kill geeks' in a
  game u wrote in vb ever sink in?
  <CommanderStab> His character was called "Carrot Head" and he
  was this cool looking carrot with a special knife.
  <CommanderStab> My chracter was "Unco-body the Head Shaker"
  who was some retarded guy with a gun he couldn't aim properly
  with, and he just sat there laughing goofily all the time.
  <Bleeding> gee let me guess who wore the pants in ur
  friendship


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138830
text:
  <Chis> how do you permaterm an aol account assuming you have
  the password?
  <Chis> to an account
  <Chis> just incase someone would want to theoretically do this


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138881
text:
  <Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term..
  <Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and
  astronaut micrometeorite protection
  <Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138926
text:
  (Sarojin) Haha nice, I got referred to the Jews for the
  Preservation of Firearms Ownership by askjeeves.com, and the
  banner on the top said across it "WHY PAY RETAIL!?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.138982
text:
  kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
  kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
  kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise
  tomorrow.
  kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and fuck me
  kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139078
text:
  <Amish_FoeTwinny> my ex gf wanted to make an amateur porn
  site, and she wanted crack to do it..so thats how we really
  met i guess


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139217
text:
  <BigFagShittyFaggotBastard> I fucking hate spam, im going to
  murder the guy who made it and rape his children, I sure hope
  this mail isnt spam it doesnt look like it HOLY SHIT SAVE ON
  INK CARTRIDGES!! IM GLAD MY FILTER DIDNT BLOCK THIS, TO THE
  COMPUTER STORE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139272
text:
  <chicken_on_fire> i jammed my memory stick backwards and
  shorted out the mobo
  <Mouser> o shit
  <chicken_on_fire> what're the chances of that happening?
  <Mouser> 1/1, apparently


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139315
text:
  [BiC]: i got a jobb! woohoo!
  [x-im]: sw33t dude :) what kinda job?
  [BiC]: warehouse-thingie-kinda job... :P
  [Nemesis]: my job is living, and the payment is the job itself
  ;]
  [x-im]: your getting rippedoff pal, go talk to the union.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139388
text:
  <Yoshon> every year my family gets 40,000 dollars because of
  music, because we sell records.
  <Yoshon> We get it in december
  <Yoshon> you know how much we got this year
  <Yoshon> FOUR THOUSAND
  <Yoshon> ONE TENTH
  <Yoshon> That's BS
  <Yoshon> Five, six years from nwo
  <Yoshon> maybe it'll be four hundred
  <Yoshon> I'll be suffering, maybe starving
  <Yoshon> And it'll be because of your fucking MP3's
  <Emperor_Pryn> Uh-huh...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139440
text:
  *** Topic is 'Current IQ is, make no mistake, 0120 (your IQ is
  subtantially higher, if you know what that is in decimal)'
  <DuneBoy> fr0zen: it looked like base 3 to me, which would
  mean it was 25 isn;t it??? 0(3^3) + 1(3^3) + 2(2^3) + 1?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139487
text:
  <alex40> this one time? in readers digest? there was this
  article? about some kid sticking grass seeds in his sister's
  vagina? because he wanted to make a baby?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139540
text:
  <Raiks> Has anyone got their 'Violence Against Women:
  Australia Says No' booklets yet?
  <Sweep> i have raiks
  <Natus> i have too
  <Raiks> My girlfriend opened it and got a paper cut from it,
  and then belted me for laughing at her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139598
text:
  <kuribo> cacti: got any porn haiku?
  <CactusJac> Ejaculation
  <CactusJac> Spray your load onto my face
  <MikeSweetser> It's what's for dinner.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139642
text:
  <ex-machina> I had to change rooms at my hotel. You know you
  spend too long online when you laugh at the fact that you got
  moved from 1024 to 768.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139690
text:
  <Ayesha> half the men in my family have mullets XD
  <dunderhead> are half the people in your family in serious
  relationships with other people in the famly as well?
  <dunderhead> thats usually the consequence of rocking the
  mullet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139749
text:
  <@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
  <+xenu> 100,000$
  <@odoyle> not a penny
  <@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
  <@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
  <@odoyle> nah
  <@[KdAwG]> pft
  <@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139795
text:
  <analog> hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock
  <analog> the clock struck one, and the other two escaped with
  minor injuries.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139875
text:
  <Luigi30> let's play pong
  <Luigi30> |   .
  <pagefault> pong
  <Luigi30> just go like "    .|
  <smcn> no
  <Luigi30> :(
  <VirtuaIce> SORRY THIS IS A SIMULATION AND IS NOT ALLOWED X-O
  <Luigi30> ?
  <VirtuaIce> (MAME reference)
  <Luigi30> oh
  <Luigi30> let's play arkanoid then
  <Luigi30> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  <Luigi30>
  <Luigi30>
  <Luigi30>                   .
  <Luigi30>                    ______


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139929
text:
  <@parasyte> I went straight on to my room, where I expected my
  nice, big bed. So I opened the door...
  <@parasyte> ...and saw my sister riding her fat friend
  <@parasyte> My first thought was: "wow, she got tits yet " My
  second on was: "Wow, he got 'em too"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.139986
text:
  <@Bikutoru|gone> well, you beat me
  <@Bikutoru|gone> i'm out of ammo
  <+Edwin> already?
  <@Bikutoru|gone> damn right
  <+Edwin> jeez no wonder men call you the "minute man" in bed
  <@Bikutoru|gone> =|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140034
text:
  <Swiich> dude, that girl i went on a date with last night was
  really dumb
  <Cindy> fuck you too
  <Swiich> shit, wrong window


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140089
text:
  <Cryptomancer> If they want to prove that mp3's hurt CD sales,
  yeah, CD's that can't be ripped into MP3's won't sell. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140179
text:
  thebud: the passion of the christ?
  Indago: if i wanted to see a bad actor get nailed, I'd watch
  the paris hilton video


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140227
text:
  <Sivvy> No, the next friday the 13th is in... July.
  <Elmer> O rly? When?
  <Sivvy> On the 13th, dipshit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140284
text:
  <Fluidmist> so, who wants to come to mexico with me?
  <technophobe> i would, but i dont speak mexican
  <Fluidmist> i thought you spoke spanish.
  <techophobe> i do, i dont speak mexican though
  <Fluidmist> are you serious?
  <technophobe> what? yes
  <Fluidmist> who wants to be the one to explain this to him?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140325
text:
  @eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
  (@eliaz`medal): foot things
  (@eliaz`medal): extensions
  (@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet (@eliaz`medal):
  5 on each :: (@eliaz`medal): :/
  (@eliaz`medal): dunno name
  (@Ched): toes?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140434
text:
  < maria> iMacs look a little like breasts with some sort of
  appendage stuck on where the nipple should be
  <@pearlbear> maria: !
  < maria> what?!
  < maria> they do!
  <@pearlbear> they do, now, don't they
  < karynn> maria needs to get laid
  <@pearlbear> why didn't I ever notice that.
  <@pearlbear> I mean those circles of vents on the top...
  * pearlbear now has a new reason to love her iMac


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140539
text:
  <Stain> when i was 8 i still thought girls were the enemy.
  Now, 12 years later, i'm fucking one.
  <HailBrak> stain: an 8 year old girl?
  <Idioteq> WITH A KNIFE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140591
text:
  <jimblob> did you know that haggii (thats more than one
  haggis) have two legs shorter than the other two, this enables
  them to run around hills very quickly, the down side is  that
  , depending on which two legs are the shortest, the haggis can
  only run round the hills in one direction
  <miriamb> really Jim?
  <miriamb> gosh
  <jimblob> yes miriam


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140692
text:
  <@Kouji_Minamoto> A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all
  sitting around one day talking about how much their lives
  sucked. The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I get
  big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a
  salad." So the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you
  have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone puts
  me in vinegar, puts spices on me, and sticks me in a jar." The
  penis glared at them both and said, "You guys think you have
  it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a
  rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my
  head against the wall until i throw up and pass out."
  <orangebear289> XD
  <+Soundwave> lol
  <@kris> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140752
text:
  <bunyip> if you can put yourself in situations where you meet
  new people that won't hurt
  <SporkAndrew> ...become a cult leader
  <Lethe> you'll definitely meet some desperate people there :p
  <SporkAndrew> just make sure you get them to drink the
  poisoned kool-aid first... then they're all fair game...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140797
text:
  bob2 | fuck, my room is like a bad text adventure!
  tb | The top of my monitor is too thin to fit anything, unless
  I glue it on.
  bob2 | > take thermos
  bob2 | the thermos lid falls off, spilling boiling water all
  over you!
  bob2 | you die!
  bob2 | play again (y/n)?
  Faugn | no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140901
text:
  <NOCKY> OMFG
  <NOCKY> I JUST WENT TO GET THINGI PRINTED OUT
  <NOCKY> AT THE COLOR PRINTER
  <NOCKY> AND SOMEONE ELSE PRINTED
  <NOCKY> A CHUCK E CHEESE COUPON
  <NOCKY> AND BETTER YET IT WAS ALL PIXELLATED AND SHITTLY
  LOOKING
  <wolfwork> astounding


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.140952
text:
  <Yaleman> omg.. you should see a netsplit / join on a warez
  channel with over 3000 people in it... intense
  <Yaleman> OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
  <Yaleman> it's like a rollercoaster ride man


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141134
text:
  <Syko>Anyway, I'm gonna play some Simpsons :P
  * Syko is now known as Syko-ShitnRun
  <Syko-ShitnRun> oh shit
  * Syko-ShitnRun is now known as Syko-HitnRun


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141183
text:
  <Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists
  appointment :(
  <automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141280
text:
  <MpTaNk> one time on a test we had to find answers to
  questions that were in a book and insted of looking for the
  page I tryed to ctrl+f
  <MpTaNk> it was a shocking feeling when I realized I couldn't
  do it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141332
text:
  <Andypoo> http://antarctica.starbiz.com.au/
  <Andypoo> How much does it cost to go to Antarctica anyway? :)
  <nukie> its all downhill, so it wouldn't cost much
  <nukie> only costs lots to come back, cause thats uphill


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141464
text:
  <datacide> 26 uear old author looking for sleek bitch to spend
  my money on and give sexual pleasure
  <D3KK0N> hi...im....tina
  <pont`> I be sleek .. but not bitch
  <datacide> haha
  <datacide> hmm....who to choose?
  <datacide> tina or the sleek not bitch
  <D3KK0N> im poor ;[
  <datacide> pros and cons
  <temple-> ima bitch! spend on me
  <datacide> wow
  <datacide> anyone else? like a real female? please.........
  <McMoo> i'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars
  <temple-> oh real
  * datacide looks desperate
  <temple-> now you want to get technical
  <datacide> anyone?
  <pont`> datacide: I can get you a doll
  <datacide> hmmmm
  <miteymous> i can get you a hooker
  <datacide> is it life like?
  <D3KK0N> i i can hook you up with ladies who do stuff they
  dont even have names for
  <datacide> haha
  <datacide> dekkon wins


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141521
text:
  <Linguica> I was on the phone
  <Linguica> with a girl who i am pretty sure likes me
  <Linguica> and i saw this
  <mewse_> heh
  <Linguica> and i was like "i have to go now"
  <mewse_> haha
  <mewse_> batman dons his cowl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141572
text:
  <Crash2xs> smoke time
  * spider_gurl smokes
  <Crash2xs> I wonder y all the sex workers smoke
  <Inanna> friction?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141706
text:
  <JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced
  the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
  <JonJonB> Let's see the results...

  <JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
  <JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er --
  got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They
  snapped me wang in half an' everything

  <JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really
  looking forward to.

  <JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry
  Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes.
  It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her
  first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of
  willow. Nice wang for charm work."
  <JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany
  wang. Eleven inches. "

  <JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his
  fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it
  swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and
  gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing
  dancing spots of light on to the walls

  <JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed
  Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

  <JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but
  even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up
  its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when
  he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's
  nostrils.

  <JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's
  nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

  <JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang,
  and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he
  whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

  <JonJonB> Ok
  <JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
  <JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a
  fool of us all
  <JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly,
  and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried
  to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept
  intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother
  again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her
  again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
  <melusine > O_______O
  <JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted
  from the end of his wang

  <JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded
  the silvery substance with its tip.

  <JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds
  they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like
  fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip
  on his raised wang.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141822
text:
  <Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only
  accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming
  or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being
  taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
  <Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at
  the end of the bed
  <Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down
  onto the floor at 3am.
  <Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat
  checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping
  on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
  <Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
  <Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the
  limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it
  like the Borg of Star Trek do.
  <Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of
  Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141876
text:
  <SarahS> You can remove testicles?
  <Phenom6996> Yep
  <Phenom6996> and breasts
  <Phenom6996> It requires special tools
  <ajplus1> yeah....a knife


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.141970
text:
  * cococutie does the deaf hottie victory dance :)
  <Rhelik> cococutie: deaf hottie?  why deaf?
  <estranger> Rhelik: mainly cus she can't hear  =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142018
text:
  <Flamon> women are like hurricanes. When they come, they're
  wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142079
text:
  <Fentom> i hate ICQ
  <Fentom> every few seconds it's a Telytubby "oh-oh" and some
  message saying "Hi, I'm Katie, and just got my webcam up and
  I'm a horny virgin. Sometimes I just love to play with my
  pussy and did I say that I have a pet horse in my room?"
  <Chubbzilla> give me their icq numbers plz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142147
text:
  <fai|ure> pearl must have some cavern pussy if she's wanting
  it in the ass everytime
  <pearl> i didnt say everytime
  <pearl> occasionally is nice :)
  <pearl> jd has the nicest thing to say about me usually
  <fai|ure> i'm that sensitive type of guy
  <fai|ure> ya' know what i'm sayin'
  <Ginger> cavernous is not good
  <Ginger> cept
  <Ginger> for the esophageal capacity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142198
text:
  finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
  finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
  Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
  finacosa: awww now it's on
  Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle,
  bitchizzle
  finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
  Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next
  monizzile
  finacosa: ?
  Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
  finacosa: hahaizzle
  Nerosan2k: lolizzle
  finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142246
text:
  <unlord> you are now talking to a man who owns a piece of
  furniture for the express purpose of sleeping on it
  <Animix> oooooooooooh
  <Animix> can I have your autograph


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142301
text:
  <@SuzyQ> NOVACAINE FOR THE SOUL
  <&supreme> I LOVE POTATOES
  <@nf-Stealth> CARROTS ARE GOOD FOR EYESIGHT
  <&sinSR> ALWAYS WEAR PANTS
  <&supreme> DONT LET DR MARIO TOUCH YOU, HE IS NOT A REAL
  DOCTOR


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142434
text:
  mintgreenfaerie: rice or ice cream?
  OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice cream.
  mintgreenfaerie: hehe, sounds like something from Scooby-doo
  OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: no
  OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: that would be
  OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice ream
  OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: which sounds like the name for some sick
  asian porno.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142494
text:
  bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I
  can keep it
  ready for you.
  j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
  bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
  j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
  j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the
  neck.
  bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that
  you are in my
  breeding territory.
  j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
  j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
  bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
  j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part
  of the game.
  bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge
  your ass.
  j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
  bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus
  about to
  charge your ass.
  bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough
  skinned feet.
  j_gurli3: thats it.
  bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like
  some phallic
  symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as
  skulls collide
  and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll
  suspended in
  the air on my mighty horn.
  bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142555
text:
  <Kisa> Don&#8217;t laugh, but every once in a while I try to
  check if I by any chance have superpowers.  For some reason I
  always try telekinesis.
  <Kisa> I look at something for a while, and try to move it
  with my mind.
  <Kisa> and when I fail, I feel really stupid.
  <Kisa> I was just wondering if anyone else does something like
  that?
  <Kojedub> Yeah.
  <Kojedub> I feel really stupid too.
  * Kisa feels glad that he is not alone
  <Kojedub> Not in relation to telekinesis.
  <Kojedub> Just, you know.
  <Kojedub> Stupid.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142712
text:
  <pimp^master> so u a girl or boy
  <triscuit> why you want to know
  <pimp^master> cuz i looking for a gf
  <triscuit> ah, well I should tell you irc is not the place to
  look, because there are tons of lying malicious people out
  there
  <triscuit> but I'm a female with large breasts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142846
text:
  Jersey Seven: 2DAY IS NATIONAL PRESENTS DAY!!~! SEND THIS
  MESSAGE TO 30 OTHER PPL AND YOU WILL RECIEVE MANY PRESENTS FOR
  XMAS AND UR TRUE LOVE WILL FINALLY START TO LIKE U!!!~
  U ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES SO U BETTER HURY!!!~
  Chant320: Hey. Tomorrow is national shut the fuck up with the
  stupid chain letters day. It never hurts to get a head start.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142945
text:
  <SmilingDevil> My dad is saying that 9/11 was an inside job.
  <SmilingDevil> Someone help me.
  <Afforess> it was
  <Afforess> the planes were inside the towers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.142998
text:
  <Antizac> I keep my real short too so the girls dont bitch
  <Shipchic80> why would girls complain about your hair being
  long?
  <Antizac> It gets stuck in their teeth
  <Shipchic80> I dont know why I bother asking anymore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143044
text:
  <Scythe> caps lock is not your friend.
  <Scythe> In fact, it is your mortal enemy and it made very
  disparaging remarks about your mother.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143105
text:
  <prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids'
  otherwise normal names
  <prick> Or change them
  <prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
  <prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or
  sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
  <prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of
  spelling out her name to strangers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143162
text:
  <Farnarcle> you use mIRC?
  <EvilElmo`> whats mIRC?
  <Farnarcle> ok dont worry diff IRC proggy
  <EvilElmo`> whats IRC?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143307
text:
  <FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
  <FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
  <kolby> you still in english?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143359
text:
  <DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup holder call, but I did
  have one where the customer dropped the computer out a 3 story
  window and blamed the fact that it shattered on Windows not
  being "stabile & tough enough".........they then told me that
  Linux could withstand the fall.........


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143406
text:
  <Joule> I just had to explain to my father, how having two
  screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143469
text:
  *** Sipx (Dan@ip68-1-162-251.ri.ri.cox.net) has joined #aol
  <kas> do you enjoy cox?
  <Sipx> hm
  <Sipx> its OK
  <Sipx> not really though
  <Sipx> im in rhode island.
  <kas> is cox big in rhode island?
  <Sipx> yes, it is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143524
text:
  <ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet...
  vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
  <ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
  <ckx> :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143577
text:
  * gryp sets mode: +v WicKeD
  <@gryp> he's tight ^
  <@IBN-LGBR> like a virgin on prom night?
  * IBN-munkeydung sets mode: -v WicKeD
  <@IBN-LGBR> cherry got popped


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143636
text:
  <Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she
  wants
  <Kiz`> just go up to a guy
  <Kiz`> "sex?"
  <Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
  <Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143752
text:
  <Workdae> i have the most hilarious issue i just picked up
  <Workdae> and i can say it without compromising details, and
  it'd still be hilarious
  <Workdae> i'm not sure where this customer got this command,
  or who told him it'd update his server...but he ran this
  command thinking it'd update his server:
  <Workdae> dd if=/dev/random of=/dev/hda bs=1M
  <Workdae> (if you value your data and you run linux, don't
  test it to find out what it does)
  <Workdae> anyway, he put in the ticket that the server had
  been updating for a while, and that now he can't connect to it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143802
text:
  <siliconcenturion>: man, half the sales reps at the toyota
  dealership should be named Uncle Ben
  <siliconcenturion>: black guys trying to sell me rice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143904
text:
  <czg> you're not gary larson
  <Nekroe> czg... how the fuck do you know?
  <czg> because I'm gary larson


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.143959
text:
  <ed> I get a tad weirded out when he prays on his prayer rag
  in the cubicle
  <ed> He says he's facing Mecca. My GPS says he's facing
  Detroit.
  <ed> He's going to end up in Heaven with 77 Pintos and a Ford
  Maverick.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144056
text:
  <rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
  <wolfnip> how did you know that?
  <rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144100
text:
  BagmanJon: one sec theres a dude from the church here who
  wants me to buttrape him
  BagmanJon: brb
  BagmanJon: Turns out it was a chick.
  BagmanJon: my lucky day eh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144150
text:
  <drunkers> sugas in jail now
  <RtWhO> whats your source?
  <RtWhO> I thought he was on his honey mooon
  <drunkers> same thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144202
text:
  * fudge stares @ his big package
  <NightsB> ....
  <NightsB> i really hope you got something in the mail
  <fudge> yea
  <NightsB> ah
  <fudge> it didnt occur to me what i said..until after i said
  it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144251
text:
  <Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE
  freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to
  access error.dll".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144305
text:
  <^wigus> fuck me
  <DJ_Random> now?
  <^wigus> its up to you
  <DJ_Random> k
  * DJ_Random looks up his book on how to "cyber"
  <DJ_Random> asl???


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144372
text:
  <Helen> Well my husband never yells at me
  <Helen> Neither he swears nor say rude stuff to ppl
  <Helen> And he almost never stays late by computer
  <Helen> And he never cheats on me and never goes to that
  horrible drinking places like pubs and stuff
  <Helen> Isn't he great?! ^_^
  <DialSoft> Hmmmm..........
  <DialSoft> Try poking him with a stick
  <DialSoft> He seems pretty dead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144426
text:
  <Pi|Mu|Rho> I'm sure that somewhere out there is the
  right girl for you . Unfortunately, I think "out there" is
  measured in
  light years.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144543
text:
  <Artanis> ok, nobody ever told me when its better to use
  static memory
  <Artanis> thats why i do everything w/ pointers
  <Artanis> :-/
  <Goomba> everything???
  <Veldhar[GD]> everything??!
  <Veldhar[GD]> heh, don't tell me
  <Veldhar[GD]> you do horrible things like
  <Veldhar[GD]> int *i = new int[1];
  <Veldhar[GD]> for (*i=0; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't continue writing
  <Veldhar[GD]> too awful
  <Veldhar[GD]> my fingers are burning
  <Veldhar[GD]> my eyes are bleeding
  <Veldhar[GD]> agoonnnnnnnny
  * Veldhar[GD] dies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144608
text:
  <@`Aiden`> Magic isn't commonplace in ours like in most.
  <MikeyPain> oooooo
  <@`Aiden`> Which means people actually have to rely on wits
  and ability.. instead of just throwing a fireball.
  <Jillian> So you won't see fireballs coming out of someone's
  weener.
  <@`Aiden`> ...
  <@`Aiden`> ¬_¬
  <Jillian> Unless they have a really bad case of clamydia.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144704
text:
  <Kowalski> Graeme - There are 10 million Norwegians, you can't
  piss all of them off
  <Graeme> i could shoot A-Ha.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144757
text:
  <morte> Jesus Peanut Butter Cups: Little pieces of the Son of
  God in a milk chocolate cup! There's no wrong way to eat a
  Jesus!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144852
text:
  <davo0o> My girlfriend has been playing hard to get lately.
  <lex> Did you inflate her with helium this time?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.144948
text:
  <tatsumi_oreo> I've got an assload of work to do. (Where
  assload is equal to the distance from the east wall of my anal
  canal to the west wall of my anal canal, and my penis always
  points north; anyhow, judging by the size of vecna's manhood,
  I have a lot of work to do.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145000
text:
  * jtal sets mode: +v
  <jtal> no more talking from you young man
  Mash- is now known as -WTF-_
  -WTF-_ is now known as givemev
  givemev is now known as plz-
  plz- is now known as comon1
  comon1 is now known as usux-
  * usux- has quit IRC (you suck cock give me voice)
  * usux- has joined #MethaneDev
  * usux- has quit IRC (come on don't be a bitch)
  * usux- has joined #MethaneDev
  <jtal> OMFG DO YOU NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP! HOLY FUCKING SHIT
  JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!%!!!@!$@!)(@#
  *!()@)$04812041892801392onetwoninethreesevensix


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145112
text:
  <[ric]> fucking dicks
  <[ric]> we have a huge flat screen LCD display in out
  presentation room
  <[ric]> it's worth about £10,000
  <[ric]> and now it has "It is safe to switch off your
  computer" burn into the screen
  <roded> hehe
  <nakkew> LOL
  <Object> hehe
  <nakkew> thank god it wasnt a pr0n site burnt into the screen
  <nakkew> wouldnt look good for customers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145159
text:
  <VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
  <VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145216
text:
  <GladX> do people still wear the farmer johns type ski pants?
  <kickingdog> yeah...they sell those.  north face has gore tex
  ones
  * GladX hates those
  <GladX> gotta fidget for 15 minutes just to take a piss
  <kickingdog> north face ones are the shizzle fo sheezy
  <GladX> babelfish is having troubles translating what you just
  said to english


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145266
text:
  Nerdmaster I always say backups are for losers anyway.
  Nerdmaster I don't believe in "backing up" data.  My data
  moves forward, never backward.
  Nerdmaster I'm a forward thinker.  A real e-enabler of data.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145320
text:
  <jjccp> i broke my leg
  <jjccp> masturbating is evil
  <[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't
  related


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145372
text:
  <NeloAngelo> i'm pretty sure my foot is broke ^.^
  <NateZeiro> then goto a doctor
  <NeloAngelo> those quacks cost money
  <NateZeiro> then goto guatemala


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145465
text:
  <superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off
  while I had a mouthful of beer.
  <GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
  <superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
  <GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145517
text:
  <mcsuede> so i was half way through drinking a dr pepper
  <mcsuede> and my wife sexed me so i fell asleep
  <mcsuede> and when i woke up she had drank my dr pepper
  <mcsuede> it was the last one
  <mcsuede> i fear it was a plot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145669
text:
  <Ephialtes> ugh
  <Ephialtes> I.
  <Ephialtes> Am.
  <Ephialtes> Wet.
  <Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
  <Ephialtes> I am soaked
  <Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
  <Ephialtes> I am drenched
  <Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
  *** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi
  (flood)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145738
text:
  <Ishtar-AFK> during chinese new years... they give redpockets
  filled with money
  <Ishtar-AFK> for good luck or something, but the important
  part is cash
  <SiWaRD> you're chinese?
  <SiWaRD> I thought you were Korean
  <Ishtar-AFK> i'm chinese
  <Ishtar-AFK> wtf
  <Ishtar-AFK> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they
  say i dont follow traditions
  * sweeps starts thinking up racial slurs
  <sweeps> when i go back to visit my grandparents... they say i
  dont follow traditions <- you mean communism?
  <SiWaRD> do your grandparents know martial arts?
  <sweeps> do they fly?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145786
text:
  *** Moses is now known as Cain
  <Cain> oh no I killed my bro
  <KeeperS> ...
  <KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible
  * KeeperS is moved to tears


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145840
text:
  <Zeke> sex to the fifth power seems like a lot of fun.
  <Celeste> You can tell what zeke has on his mind.
  <Kira> Math?
  <Zeke> It's like math, only naked.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.145939
text:
  * Spoon casts Wall of Silence
  *** Spoon sets mode: +m
  <Goku> why?
  <Spoon> Because exo went insane
  <Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
  * Sentinel checks..
  *** Sentinel sets mode: -m
  <exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
  *** Sentinel sets mode: +m


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146085
text:
  <sean> though south keys is disgustingly expensive, it's right
  beside an O-Train station and has a bulk barn next door
  <xmatt> O-Train sounds like some weird sexual innuendo.
  <adam> it's all in your head, matt.
  <xmatt> "I might take her for a ride on the O-Train. Oooh,
  oooh! Yeah, you know what I mean."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146147
text:
  <DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface
  templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
  <Cowboy_w3rk> er
  <Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
  <Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
  <DannyBoy> wonderful
  <DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146206
text:
  <foo> Damn, more spam invading my inbox
  <Aviator> Nooooobody expects the Spammer's Imposition!
  <Aviator> Our two weapons are offshore servers and feeble
  laws. Feeble laws and offshore servers.
  <Aviator> And fake headers. Our THREE weapons are offshore
  servers, feeble laws and fake headers.
  <Aviator> And gulliable horny lamers. Our FOUR weapons are...
  I'll come in again.
  -!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has quit [Come, Cardinal
  Bigglesworth!]
  -!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has joined #chat
  <foo> Riiiiiight...
  * Aviator tortures foo with the comfy V14Gr/ and the soft Debt
  Consolidation


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146257
text:
  (backslash) Wow, the introduction to this chapter in the
  driving book we got today is. . . well, reassuring.
  (backslash) 'Finally, the keys and the car... our dream has
  come true! You climb in behind the wheel, the engine starts
  and purrs. Wow! Shift into gear and you're off.
  (backslash) The sky darkens, rain starts to fall... Where is
  that wiper switch? Oops, not that one. Oh! There is it! And
  now, the headlights.
  (backslash) What does that bright blue light mean? Why is that
  oncoming car flashing high beams? My gosh... the car in front
  is braking... Your vehicle is sliding!! Your heart is
  pounding! Now what?!'
  (zztzed) "If you slam on the brakes and go hydroplaning into
  the rear end of the car in front of you, turn to page 36."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146307
text:
  <ChugChug> so like... uhh.. what language do you use?
  <LaC> english
  <ChugChug> is that like perl? :)
  <LaC> god i hope not


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146360
text:
  <javachickn> O FUCK MY FOOT IS ASLEEP
  <javachickn> WHAT DO I DO
  <javachickn> HURRY
  <Steve> wake it up with fire
  <Steve> the really hot kind.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146466
text:
  * billh doing a survey of points in the Linux kernel where
  mutex replacement would increase preemption and therefore
  reduce latency for hard RT useage.
  <sateh> bill
  <sateh> there are too many words in that sentence
  <sateh> zzzzzzzzzzz
  <sateh>  http://www.wegenermedia.com/
  <sateh> ibok spare parts!
  <sateh> wheee!
  <Feanor> hmm
  <Feanor> sateh's drunk :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146583
text:
  <wanman2> c++ is so much more intuitive than any language i've
  learned
  <wanman2> that's my thought of the night
  <wanman2> and with that, good night.
  <fib> let us bathe in its profundity
  <wanman2> and lather ourselves with its wisdom
  <lbandit> and watch it flow down the drain
  <lbandit> amidst our pubic hairs and semen
  <lbandit> and urine
  <wanman2> and vaginal discharge
  <fib> my bishop delivers no sermons in the shower


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146640
text:
  <StmChser> Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of
  a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole?
  <Trilky> heh?
  <StmChser> It's called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible
  for giving people a shitty outlook on life
  <hanzglo-> wtf?
  <StmChser> If you don't believe me, pulla hair from your
  asshole and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146684
text:
  *** Quits: cuebal (Most parents would hope that that their
  offspring yearn to become doctors, lawyers, or even a
  journalist, but these days all kids want to be is Pikachu..)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146747
text:
  <gofer-chan> ...Exo, can I still keep my channel? Or is that
  like impersonating you or something?
  <gofer-chan> Because if you want, I'll change the name.
  <Exophase> gofer; You can keep the channel :p
  <gofer-chan> Yay!
  <Exophase> gofer; It's not impersonating me to have a channel
  called "#exophase", because no one is gonna walk into the
  channel and go "gasp, I'm sitting inside Exophase!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146796
text:
  <spazdor> how do you get a Cisco Certified Network
  Administrator off your porch?
  <cnug> ...?
  <spazdor> pay for your pizza


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146845
text:
  <General-Sauron> There was actually something good about
  Napster, when you got a song, it was actually a song, instead
  of going on p2p's, downloading an MP3, and it ends up being
  some dog fucking a woman
  <General-Sauron> I mean, I still won, but what if it had been
  something sick...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146892
text:
  <_bigd_> when I was a child I used to scrape the cream off all
  the oreos and make it into a ball ^_^
  <_bigd_> and leave in the fridge
  <_bigd_> after 2 bites, I used to pass out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.146956
text:
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus is created when you masturbate in
  the bath and your sister falls pregnant by then bathing in the
  same water.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random
  people. And give them leprosy.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water.
  <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're
  sinner.
  <Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in
  a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked
  him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147008
text:
  <Mat> what's a mac sysadmin?
  <Ryk> bru's a mac sysadmin.
  <Bru> someone who can remove shrinkwrap from macromedia and
  adobe packages and knows the difference between appleshare and
  appletalk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147103
text:
  <xShaitanx> does anyone have yahoo msgner cause this chick is
  dpoing something with dildos u wana see
  <cvz> she using them to make a cake ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147159
text:
  <gb> I'M BREAKING OUT THE DoS
  <gb> THERE GOEZ ED
  <gb> BYE BYE
  <hypr> DONT DOS ME"
  <hypr> FUCKERKGHJIJGEG
  <blazemore> hypr: quick, go buy dsl!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147318
text:
  <timb> I went into a local burger resturaunt, just a local
  town king if thing, pretty small, and I was wearing my I dig
  Mac OS X shirt
  <Toad> geek
  <timb> and the girl at the counter, really cute, about 18 or
  19 went "I like your shirt!"
  <timb> and I went w00t! and she smilled the biggest smile and
  winked at me
  <Toad> you _said_ "w00t!"? wow
  <timb> yes, I said w00t
  <Toad> like "double u zero zero t"?
  <timb> no
  <Toad> like "woot"
  <timb> just plain woot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147365
text:
  KabeDerlin05: Bring it on. I have a level 19 Weapon Master
  that can kick your ass
  KradenTalcaria: ...
  KradenTalcaria: brb
  KabeDerlin05: Yeah that's right! Run Away! Just like your
  mother did when she saw my huge dick!
  Auto response from KradenTalcaria: Mom's using the computer.
  Be back in a few.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147417
text:
  <`Apoc`> i blew a load inside my girl
  <Shiv[0utz0r]> LOL
  <Shiv[0utz0r]> welcome to the club
  <`Apoc`> whats the chances of her becoming pregnant
  <Apocalypse_DFA[spam-eater]> if she wants to be pregnant, 50%.
  If she doesnt want to be pregant...100%


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147464
text:
  <Shuichi-k> I learn something new everyday
  <Shuichi-k> whether it be about norse religion or how far a
  man can stretch his ass
  <Shuichi-k> ah, irc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147523
text:
  <imagine> oh god
  <imagine> im a loser
  <imagine> someone was messaging me on aim
  <imagine> and i sent something back, but they signed off
  <imagine> then i noticed a mistake in my typing
  <imagine> and i corrected it
  <imagine> even though they had signed off
  <imagine> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147577
text:
  <PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Looking up your
  nationality...
  <PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Checking Country
  <PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** Found your race
  <PSIKAR> !sniper.tx.us.dal.net *** ERR YOU = DISGUSTING SLAV
  <PSIKAR> Closing Link: 0.0.0.0 (Sorry, AUSTRALIA is full - try
  later)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147628
text:
  <DCBastard> wow - either fairlight and deviance have
  absolutely pathetic suppliers or morrowind has some good copy
  protection
  <DCBastard> i think it's absolutely disgusting that you can
  BUY a game before downloading it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147682
text:
  <SchoolyD> if women couldn't talk, i bet we would be living on
  mars right now
  <Islamikaze> yes
  <SchoolyD> but women keep nagging men
  <SchoolyD> "leave those equations alone and mow the lawn!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147736
text:
  <CrackyMcZap> I'm pathetic.
  <Chriso> Cracky: I'm a 17 year old pimply FAT bastard living
  with his parents while in college who has no money, a 3.0 gpa
  which means it goes up .5 next semester or ELSE i lose my
  scholarships, i cant buy my own smokes, i cant legally look at
  porn, I cant drink cuz of my medicine, i have a
  university-issued restraining order preventing me from
  entering the dorms at school, and to top it off, I'm bi but i
  dont like it up the ass. So yeah. Who's pathetic?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147784
text:
  <clay> if i take an open wire from my motherboard and stick it
  in a cup of water will it do anything
  <jonathans> yes
  <jonathans> it will heat the water


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147846
text:
  <xp99> We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see
  any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit
  suicide if he does.
  <xp99> So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American
  women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to
  help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
  <xp99> Circling your block for one hour is recommended for
  this antiterrorist effort. All men are to position themselves
  in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not
  terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to
  see nude women other than their wife and to show support for
  all American women.
  <xp99> And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a
  cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your
  antiterrorist sentiment.
  <xp99> The American Government appreciates your efforts to
  root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this
  anti terrorist activity.
  <xp99> God bless America and GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN! IT IS
  YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.147899
text:
  <EC> bikeracer doesn't understand biggles
  <fet> no one does
  <biggles> my hairdresser understands me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148000
text:
  <Mystery> singapore is nice
  <_eight> pussy is so cheap there.
  <Mystery> there aren't any hookers in singapore
  <Mystery> you have to cross the border to malaysia for htat
  <_eight> mystery, you just been hanging out in the wrong
  singaporean cemeteries.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148047
text:
  Zedian: D&D Monopoly
  Pregga Zexas: "I land at Wallstreet Avenue and roll a critical
  hit so all of the orcs in your hotels die."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148098
text:
  <bLank> I was just watching Swordfish and the senators
  assistant hands him a floppy disc and says "Sir, we have a
  problem" ... I'm sorry, but nothing important has ever been
  able to fit on a floppy disc, there's no way the senator is
  going to have his fly-fishing disturbed for 1.4 mb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148142
text:
  <Jingoro`> ash has a personality disorder
  *** Jingoro` was kicked by Ash (Shut up SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK
  UP I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  *** Ash sets mode: +b *!*yay@*.mw.mediaone.net


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148190
text:
  <beamz> do they sell penis warmers like those 9volt
  handwarming gloves/
  <Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148241
text:
  <Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my
  moms a dental assistant
  <Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
  <Acero> thats how i got so good at it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148292
text:
  <uneekwahn> you know what I hate
  <uneekwahn> when you bring a hot chick home
  <uneekwahn> you've got a pc in your bedroom
  <uneekwahn> and she finds a pubic hair on the keyboard :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148397
text:
  <Xellchiri> BFS, I have a message for you
  <BloodFromStone> A message for me?
  <BloodFromStone> From whom?
  <Xellchiri> Darthie
  <Xellchiri>  "May you be cursed with the flatulence of a rabid
  camel."
  <BloodFromStone> Xell: Hrmm... I find myself uninjured by her
  attacks. =P
  * Xellchiri rolls 1d20 :: 8
  <Xellchiri> yeah, she missed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148446
text:
  <|steve|> requiem [for a dream] was just a porno movie with a
  plot
  <|steve|> and pi was like hooked on phonics for nerds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148489
text:
  NovaScotia > yes.. us Canadians.. always quiet.. clean.. keep
  to ourselves.. never bother anyone... sounds like how they
  always describe serial killers eh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148577
text:
  (debaser) i bought a mouse today
  (debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
  (debaser) i got a neutered mouse.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148635
text:
  <Digested> yeah, the chicken sandwiches are just right by
  default
  <Digested> so you don't have to customize or mess around with
  config files in vi
  <Digested> that config files thing is going into the quotes,
  isn't it :/
  <Guilty> I wont submit it if you purge the database of nerdb5


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148681
text:
  <@fragility> why is my modems "activity" lite flashing like
  crazy??
  *** fragility
  (fragility@lsanca1-ar14-4-47-119-104.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net)
  Quit (Ping timeout)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148789
text:
  <Fox_Jenny> alan, please dont wear socks tonight
  <Borlath_Mon> Yeah. Use a condom, you cheap fucker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148832
text:
  <zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk
  and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148888
text:
  <Tempest> Has anyone seen Passion of the Christ?
  <Yuki> I heard the guy playing Jesus was struck by lighting
  twice while working on the set.
  <Mister Mittens> I've heard that as well... And I think
  someone else on the set was hit by lightning as well... not
  sure
  <Quinton> GOOD MOVIE
  <Teal> They weren't hit by lightning. They were smote. There's
  a difference.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148932
text:
  <Hunter> Someone asked me the difference between ignorance and
  apathy. I told her I don;t know and I don;t care


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.148978
text:
  <hoche> heredocs, theredocs, everwhereadocsdocs
  <geo> old macdonald had a server farm
  <geo> He eyed the I/O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149064
text:
  DengShouxin: The next best thing to a girl that likes sex is a
  girl that likes to play video games.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149173
text:
  <@|Holo|> one of my cats got me banned from warezguild once,
  sat on the keyboard and spammed
  <@|Holo|> sat on the numpad
  <@|Holo|> so it was all like
  <@|Holo|> 0
  <@|Holo|> 6454
  <@|Holo|> +65
  <@|Holo|> ++52213
  <+solbaid`> should've just told all the nerds "sorry, i was
  getting pussy"
  <+solbaid`> they'd have worshipped you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149220
text:
  <bahithnko> Girls are like Golf
  <Moogle> whats golf
  <bahithnko> Its a game where you gotta get your balls in a
  hole without hitting them much


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149269
text:
  [Bords] im sick of ppl making fun of "uranus"
  [Kirby] yeah me to.
  [Kirby] Hey! Let's rename it!
  [nosebleed] let's call it urrektum


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149324
text:
  <CorranFox> we didn't have sex though
  <CorranFox> she took the route of saying "I might be a
  lesbian"
  <CorranFox> I didn't drive her into it though
  <mightyflo> you didnt drive it into her either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149372
text:
  <v-ger> it's fun to hate people online - it's like a video
  game and sensitive people's feelings are like quad damage


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149438
text:
  (&Jet) That reminds me of another funny story
  (&Jet) Our senior prank last year:
  (&Jet) (the seniors have now graduated)
  (&Jet) their first attempt
  (&Jet) they put birdseed ALL over the ground
  (&Jet) like everywhere
  (&Jet) too bad for them it was windy
  (@Valkarious) LOL, think of all the birdshit
  (@Valkarious) awww
  (&Jet) and we have gardeners at our school
  (&Jet) no wait listen
  (@Valkarious) man, foiled
  (@Valkarious) kk
  (&Jet) the gardeners blew the birdseed
  (&Jet) INTO THE PARKING LOT
  (@Valkarious) LOL
  (@Valkarious) YES
  (@Valkarious) YESSS
  (&Jet) Yeah baby
  (@Valkarious) oh man
  (@Valkarious) that's classic
  (&Jet) so much bird shit on everyone's cars
  (&Jet) it was fantastical
  (Leprae) LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149530
text:
  <Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I
  just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more
  powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am
  pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey
  the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm
  the only one, I must be pretty powerful.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149626
text:
  smack: get that .45
  NOFX: looks nice
  smack: it's the nicest gun i have ever shot/owned
  NOFX: wtf 7 rounds
  smack: it's a .45 man
  smack: if you need more than 7 .45 rounds, you either can't
  shoot, or are in WAY over your head


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149678
text:
  <|404notfound> I'm angsty. I'm plenty angsty.
  <|404notfound> I'm so angsty I make goths look like bright,
  happy rays of sunshine.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149728
text:
  <dySanGONE> i asked my mom to leave me some money so i could
  go to wendy's
  <dySanGONE> she left me $40
  <Nago> nice
  <yotta|w0rk> must have thought wendy was a cheap whore.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149881
text:
  This is during a joke where 2-D is acting Japanese in another
  room

  <The_2-D> He said ditto to me, and I said ditto is japanese
  for truck
  <Ten> AHAHAHA
  <Ten> TRUCK
  <The_2-D> So he will go through the rest of his life telling
  people ditto is Japanese for truck.
  <Ten> lets hope so
  <The_2-D> And on my death bed, someone will end up using the
  word ditto, and someone around my bed will say, "that's
  Japanese for truck."
  <Ten> AHAHAHAHA
  <Ten> youll die laughing
  <Ten> and no one will know why


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149928
text:
  * compupc1 really wants a new version of something
  <compupc1> anything...i just feel like upgrading
  <PetrDoubt>  /dcc send compupc1 trojan4b38.tgz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.149988
text:
  <ZBZZN> BUKKAKE!
  <ZBZZN> I yelled that in class
  <ZBZZN> and ppl went like "WTF"
  <Killrbyte> I once had a guy yell out "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!" in
  the middle of a test.
  <Killrbyte> Then the guy next to him said "SHIT! I didn't
  think you'd actually do it!" as he whipped out a $20 bill and
  handed it over.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150035
text:
  <NekoNick> And you claim to be sentient?
  <RaZorblade>
  sentient???????????????????????????????????????????????
  <NekoNick> I guess that answers my question.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150083
text:
  <maff> Someone has donated coathanger just now!
  <Amanda`> GET IT
  <Amanda`> GET THE COATHANGER
  <Amanda`> YOU CAN PERFORM INGAME ABORTIONS!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150132
text:
  <Asha`monkey> I went to the beach with two of my female
  friends one night, and when we got there they started making
  out with eachother.
  <Asha`monkey> Then when I tried to lean over they were like
  "HAHA, YEAH RIGHT."
  <Asha`monkey> Bitches.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150177
text:
  jessejames: i love pooping
  jessejames: it is so relaxing
  CutiePieNerd: your so strange
  jessejames: no like all guys like pooping
  CutiePieNerd: haha
  jessejames: it like theonly time we can relax without being
  nagged by the women
  jessejames: cuz they are all afraid of poop


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150229
text:
  <drgonzo> dance like nobodys watching
  <drgonzo> work like you don't need the money
  <drgonzo> jack off like nobody's home


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150283
text:
  <manos> dude i found a website with some cool java aplets
  <placid> xmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  <placid> url?
  <manos> C:\program files\anfy\applets.htm
  <placid> get a life
  <manos> ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150334
text:
  <}813-Error{> i ask a question in #perl and get RTFM and they
  go back to talking about metallica...
  <}813-Error{>  d  Match digit character <that would be numbers
  right?
  * C4 knows nothing of perl
  <modem> same here :/
  <modem> ask in #metallica


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150384
text:
  <Mr_Blud> That looks like a mosquito
  <ThunderMax> I hate mosquitos
  <ThunderMax> they're like the Jehovah's Witnesses of nature


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150434
text:
  <eXeLoR> My gf was all like, "you havn't made eye contact once
  this evening", she was hell pissed
  <sILLA> You should have told her that breasts don't have eyes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150492
text:
  <Ear> ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY BECAUSE IT KILLS
  CHILDREN.
  <Khross> YES
  <Ear> DEAD BABIES EQUALS PROFIT.
  <Khross> LESS MINORITY KIDS = LESS WELFARE
  <Khross> MORE PROFIT
  <Ear> IT ALSO PROVIDES FREE BACON.
  <Khross> YES, OF COURSE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150627
text:
  <ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once,  was there about an
  hour before i noticed
  <ishmal> lots of girls,  no guys
  <ishmal> thought i was just lucky


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150670
text:
  <jimmie> i was gonna spell something with our inaddrs so when
  you tracerouted
  our network it said stuff


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150717
text:
  <glasnost> kkf: we should get married, so you can be kkk.
  <kkf> hmm...  wow, another reason not to marry you :)
  <glasnost> ouch, that backfired


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150779
text:
  <[avon]> oh man
  <[av0n]> even vc++6 rocks
  <[av0n]> after install
  <[av0n]> do you want to reboot now?
  <[av0n]> no
  <[av0n]> the system must be rebooted click ok to reboot
  <[av0n]> and i bet you anything when i alt+f4 the box
  <[av0n]> i'm gonna reboot
  <[av0n]> just watch.
  *** Quits: [av0n] (justin@mask-2556.swbell.net) (Connection
  reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150832
text:
  <Demamas> <Jew> I WORSHIP THIS GOD, WHO SAYS THIS AND THIS AND
  THIS. <Christian> AND THERE WAS THIS OTHER CARPENTER GUY WHO
  DID SOME STUFF, HE'S FUCKING GREAT. DIE, JEW! <Muslim> I AGREE
  TOTALLY, NOW I WILL KILL YOU BOTH!
  <Renzian> THEN OPTIMUS PRIME SWEEPS IN WITH LAS0RBEAMS :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150879
text:
  <cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as
  Kano... and I did the fatality on my opponent and I go "ULTRA
  COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150928
text:
  <KidHype> discovery channel should have a droppy tits from
  around the world week
  * PtitFous undresses then
  <MikeDX> except its shown on CNN and called "world famine
  report"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.150974
text:
  ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come
  save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece
  to come in Tetris.
  ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a
  mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you
  do.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151020
text:
  <c41yp50> "If elected, Kerry will appoint Captain Planet as
  secretary of defense, but the military will crumble when
  everyone realizes how stupid the power of heart is."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151063
text:
  <Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like
  trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151119
text:
  <luciphur> think i'll go to kfc and get some blue pepsi
  <luciphur> love that shit
  <luciphur> and some chips and a kernel burger too
  <luciphur> i mean, colonel
  <luciphur> lol, got linux on the brain


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151176
text:
  <kaleido> Instead of distributing condoms in gay bars and at
  productions of the play "Rent," where they might have done
  some good, Koop insisted on distributing condoms in
  kindergarten classes, in prder to emphasize the point that
  AIDS does not discriminate, which it does.
  <kaleido> i got suspended in 7th grade over some shit like
  that
  <kaleido> <teacher> straight people can get aids too
  <kaleido> <me> name one
  <kaleido> they had me on the curb out front waiting for my mom
  to pick me up so fast i wasnt sure if id been expelled or just
  suspended


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151224
text:
  <Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
  <Scofco> I pass out
  <Scofco> well, I actually faint
  <Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151268
text:
  *** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
  <BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits
  IRC.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151370
text:
  <+elf> hey
  <Dekar> Do you want to see my cool thing?
  <Dekar> It's shiny...
  <Dekar> It has all sorts of moving parts.
  <Dekar> And it does things. Cool things.
  <+elf> zip up your pants, I don't care if you spray painted
  your penis.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151421
text:
  Chronz > my girlfriend dumped me for playing too much eve
  Chronz > she said she couldn't take it anymore
  Chronz > she took the shotgun to the moniter
  Chronz > and i pointed it at my forehead
  Chronz > i said me first
  Chronz > she dropped the gun
  darrenX > thats unforgivenable
  Chronz > and walked out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151469
text:
  <Fjoder> I hate when ppl say they gonna call and then they
  dont
  <Harvard> You sound like a girl.
  <Fjoder> I am a girl
  <Harvard> That explains it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151522
text:
  <Holden> "The file or directory C:WINDOWSsystem32 is corrupt
  and unreadable.  Please run the Chkdsk utility."
  <Holden> Uh-oh
  <Holden> That can't be good.
  <Holden> I guess Windows built in random system reformater is
  telling me I need to do it again.
  *** Holden (~Joe@24.43.60.121) Quit (Read error: Connection
  reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151575
text:
  <blazed> yeah, what do you guys do when nobody is watching
  you?
  <PMonk> roll my boogers into a ball and play with them,
  measure my dick with a tape ruler, chew my toenails..
  <princealbert> try to suck my dick.. im making progress
  <heurist> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with
  my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off..
  when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs,
  then it flies across the room.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151666
text:
  <dabblerblue> i wonder if anyone in iraq has tried
  rocket-jumping yet
  <DJTodd> Rocket jumping?
  <dabblerblue> nevermind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151713
text:
  ~ tiko wishes he was part of this seceret club known as "jew"
  (tiko) but when the entry fee is part of your cock, I think
  I'll pass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151761
text:
  <dem-> how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from
  128 to 384?  like
  a day or so?
  <PetrDoubt> About 5 minutes, I think.  Now ask how long
  PacBell takes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151821
text:
  <_Muppet_> What religion or race of people living in Britain
  would disapprove of Elvis?
  <_Muppet_> Can you suggest one?
  <Supe-Away> Mormons
  <Supe-Away> There isnt anything that they DO approve of
  <_Muppet_> Tee
  <Squinky> Black Irish, because black people hate everything
  <Squinky> Except rap music
  <Squinky> And carjacking
  <Squinky> And KFC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.151915
text:
  <Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my
  neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to
  share it with me early in the morning... -_-


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152000
text:
  <Hostile blinks>
  <MacBinaryBot> You blink, I stink, we're pink.
  <Hostile> you dink
  <MacBinaryBot> You kink
  <Hostile> youd think
  <MacBinaryBot> You're gonna sink.
  <Hostile> ok *wink*
  <MacBinaryBot> heh
  <MacBinaryBot> Time to twink.
  <Hostile> silly chink
  <MacBinaryBot> Long link
  <Hostile> is it mink?
  <MacBinaryBot> Need zinc!
  <Hostile> lol you wrink
  <MacBinaryBot> You're covered in ink.
  <Hostile> bah thats what i was gonna use, you .... erm bink
  -.-
  <Hostile> k i lose
  <Hostile> *cry*
  <MacBinaryBot> lol, finque
  <Hostile> -.-
  <Hostile> time for me to go shrink


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152046
text:
  <lewpoo> whats the most advanced topic in java?
  <joeblowgt> lewpoo: not getting kickbanned in #java


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152097
text:
  <greeny> so i turn this box upside down and you know what i
  find printed on the bottom?
  <greeny> "don't turn the box upside down"
  <greeny> :


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152154
text:
  <Tispie> Well..Iam formatting my computer..so i want to save
  my quake files..but they are way too big for a disk
  <Sulyspa> Use a CD?
  <Lyssa> Gahhh its Tisp
  <Tispie> stfu Lyssa. Iam not in the mood
  <Lyssa> haha
  <Tispie> Suly, do I not need a burner? I dont know how to put
  it to a cd lol
  *** Quits: Pati` (nukkumahan)
  <Thogart> formating always puts people in bad moods..
  <Thogart> its like loosing a part of your soul..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152201
text:
  <Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little...
  odd...
  <Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended
  amount of penises.
  <Brentai> My type of woman.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152252
text:
  <MalachiConstant> hah, I have a funny story about watching
  Ringu, ready?
  <Jessica> Yeah.
  <MalachiConstant> I was watching it on DVD, and it was a quiet
  scene, like s shot of someone sleeping...
  <MalachiConstant> I was admiring how they kept showing someone
  just sleeping, and were realy building the tension well...
  <MalachiConstant> then I realized my DVD player was stuck and
  I was watching a still frame for about 10 minutes on the edge
  of my seat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152301
text:
  <Zok> Oh, it needs to be in jpg or png
  <Sephiroth> okay I changed the extension
  <Sephiroth> but isn't any smaller


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152356
text:
  <Etir> I want to see Clinton versus Rice in 2008 just to see
  if a 3rd party candidate can win on the "I'm Male" platform


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152453
text:
  <mov> DAL: u seen 2001 - A space odyssey?
  <DAL9000> that has to be the stupidest question i've ever
  heard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152511
text:
  [4am]
  <@Cheez> someone put me to bed
  <@[Smaug]> GO TO BED CHEEZ!
  <@[Smaug]> NOW!
  <@[Smaug]> dont make me come over to your house!
  <@[Smaug]> or apartment
  <@[Smaug]> or whatever you live in
  <@Cheez> "channel"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152565
text:
  <D4NG3R0U5> i hjad this really fucken scary dream dude
  <D4NG3R0U5> i was walkin down this empty street
  <D4NG3R0U5> and for some reason i looked up, and there was a
  big FATAL ERROR message in the sky
  <D4NG3R0U5> and it turned out that god had a dev team
  scripting dreams, and my (faulty) dream was somehow published
  wo being tested...
  <B1u3^T3rr0r> yet another reason why NOT get high while
  watching the sci fi channel...last night matrix was on, and
  after that nightmare on elm st III


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152706
text:
  <CuttingEdge> Current Global Users: 300
  <CuttingEdge> not doing too badly today
  <LordCow> sweet, 300
  <LordCow> now we can attack the persians


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152798
text:
  <Sureshot> some cunt nicked my milk
  <NyseriA> i was so fucked off last year with someone nicking
  my milk i pissed in it
  <Sureshot> ROFL
  <NyseriA> i nearly fyucking died when i walked into the
  kitchen in the morning to see the fucker eating it with
  frostieS :)
  <NyseriA> i have also soaked a cheese in rancid milk
  <NyseriA> washed it
  <NyseriA> and put it back in the fridge
  <NyseriA> some fucker ate that as well


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152878
text:
  <@Nosferatu> Sensitive men do exist...
  <@Nosferatu> A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk,
  they connect, they end up
  <@Nosferatu> leaving together. They get back to his apartment
  and she notices that his
  <@Nosferatu> bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly
  teddy bears. Hundreds of
  <@Nosferatu> cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the
  floor, cuddly
  <@Nosferatu> medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and
  huge enormous bears on
  <@Nosferatu> the top shelf along the wall. The woman is
  surprised that this guy would
  <@Nosferatu> have a collection of teddy bears, especially one
  that's so extensive, but
  <@Nosferatu> she decides not to mention this to him, and
  actually is quite impressed by
  <@Nosferatu> his sensitive side. She turns to him... they
  kiss... and then they rip each
  <@Nosferatu> other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
  <@Nosferatu> After an intense night of passion with this
  sensitive guy, they are lying
  <@Nosferatu> there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls
  over and she asks,
  <@Nosferatu> smiling, "Well, how was it?"
  <@Nosferatu> The guy says:
  <@Nosferatu> "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom
  shelf."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152927
text:
  <Neth> I'd like to know why it feels like it needs to shut
  this program down every now and then
  <delphinus> because it knows that irc is a waste of time?
  <Neth> I care not for the opinions of my computer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.152984
text:
  <^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I",
  "myself" or "me" in a resume
  <^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
  <DeLorean> No.
  <DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
  <cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153033
text:
  <Sumezworking> I hate people who let their kids run around
  naked on the beach..
  <Squinky> I know, it's hard to hide an erection in swimming
  trunks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153079
text:
  <[ccp]Gib_Omelet|work> i know one mac user. he says if i keep
  teasing him, he's gonna call the other 6 and beat me up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153126
text:
  Corey: that butterfinger commercial
  Corey: has got to be the worst marketing idea i've ever heard
  of
  PfhorRunner: which?
  Corey: it's got that hand with the orange index finger
  Corey: and every time i see it
  Corey: i can't help but think someone took it in the ass
  Corey: or the ear
  Corey: or somewhere their finger was NOT supposed to go
  PfhorRunner: LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153172
text:
  <cursedgenie> damn it i have pins and needles in my foot
  <Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153403
text:
  <Rajio> my friend's such a bastard, he wouldn't let me get my
  quarter's worth with VF4, challenged me just for the sake of
  beating me :P then he did the same with tekken, but then i
  wipped paul out and owned his ass :P
  <toNe> Rajio: paul? is that like a nickname for it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153460
text:
  <Object> next thing you know she'll be sticking dildo's up my
  ass
  <Object> that's just harsh
  <[ric]> well it's harsh if it isn't lubed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153515
text:
  <SillyBoob> HELP
  <SillyBoob> WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
  <SillyBoob> WHERE DO YOU GO TO DOWNLOAD THE CDS?
  <SillyBoob> MY CUZIN DOWNLOADED HTIS FOR ME
  <Takaznik> type /quit get cd list and wait for about an hour
  * Quits: SillyBoob (get cd list)
  <Naked_Eye> How much you bet he will be back in an hour


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153556
text:
  (laguna`) i wank to her occasionally
  (Jyrka) for how long have u been doing this?
  (laguna`) a month
  (Jyrka) what did u used to do before?
  (laguna`) go to school


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153615
text:
  <Ashryd> Prepare for the new revolution in freeing space on
  your hard drive, waste no more
  time on searching through old files to delete, simply leave it
  up to DaveBot!
  <Methuen> New program aye?
  <Ashryd> Doesn't work quite right yet though...
  <Ashryd> Does something a little more interesting at the
  moment...
  <Methuen> Oh?
  <Ashryd> It spends 12 hours searching through your folders and
  files finding and sorting
  them into things that must be deleted, could be deleted and
  mustn't be deleted, compiles the
  information into a database, deems the database an item that
  must be deleted then erases
  your whole hard drive.
  <Methuen> o.O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153660
text:
  [11:03] *** Doc|Uni (sdf@sympatex.gotadsl.co.uk) Quit (Support
  W.O.R.K - Women Off Roads Campaign (c) Doc'99)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153722
text:
  <Onyxus>: Have you ever been pwned by a 4 year old?  I have,
  and so has my son.
  <Onyxus>: 1.) I was riding in the car with my family and my
  daughter (as I have taught her) randomly said "I pwned a noob!
  " Being a proud father I reached back and said "Gimme five" to
  which she promptly responded "No you're the noob!"
  <Onyxus>: 2.) Just today me and the missus were sitting in the
  living room watching TV while the kids were on the porch
  playing in their tiny little swimming pool. My son ran up to
  the back door and was yelling something unintelligible at it,
  when my daughter ran up behind him and dumped a cup full of
  water over his head...multiple times. He ran off, most likely
  to cry in a corner somewhere, and she looked at me through the
  door and yelled "I pwned a noob Daddy!"
  <Onyxus>: Words can not describe the pride I feel in how I've
  brought up my daughter...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153770
text:
  <faceless> so if afro americans = niggers and middle
  easterners = sand niggers and asians = rice niggers what can
  we call canadians?
  <al-x> we're snow niggers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153815
text:
  <Pharsalus> It would really suck if you were a siamese twin --
  your other half was gay, and you were not...and you shared the
  same ass..
  * Pharsalus ponders


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153885
text:
  <zuKi> YOU KNOW WHAT WAS CREEPY
  <zuKi> AT THE BLOOD DRIVE AT SCHOOL THE BASEBALL COACH WAS
  RACING THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO SEE WHO COULD GIVE THE MOST
  BLOOD IN A GIVEN AMOUNT OF TIME
  <zamros> HAHAHA
  <_ry0suke_> :DDDDDDDDD
  <zamros> WHAT ASSHOLES
  <zuKi> AND HE'S ALL "IF YOU PUMP YOUR HAND YOU'LL GET MORE
  BLOOD OUT OF IT
  <_ry0suke_> DDDDDDDDDD:
  <zuKi> IT WAS THE SCARIEST THING EVER
  <zuKi> MAYBE X GAMES WILL HAVE A NEW SPORT
  <zuKi> "TONY HAWK PRO BLOOD DONOR"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.153935
text:
  <iND-RLM> i heard a good comeback by my friends 13yr old
  brother the other day
  <iND-RLM> his sister was talking it up
  <iND-RLM> and he just comes in and says
  <iND-RLM> u know if i made a mould of you out of shit.. it
  would still only be as half as full of shit as you really are


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154023
text:
  *** Now talking in #hardcoremp3
  *** Topic is 'Welcome to #hardcoremp3, fred dursts phone #
  310-865-1000  finally a use for www.dialpad.com PRANK THAT
  SOB'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154117
text:
  <Anumati> oh, thanks, now i have this vision of bush
  staggering around iraq all osbourne style yelling "where are
  the fucking weapons of mass destruction?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154165
text:
  <Dave> You know, Bash should merge with SomethingAwful. Then
  it could be a homogenous collection of stupid and unfunny crap
  <Mobsta> Something Bashful?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154232
text:
  <Thalog> is it just me, or has our society come to the
  realisation of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451?
  <Thalog> I recall being in a car filled with 5 people,
  excluding myself
  <Thalog> but no one was talking
  <Thalog> everyone was doing things on their cell phones and
  such
  <UlsterResident> ah, yeah
  <Thalog> and they might as well have not have been there
  <Thalog> and when they did talk, they didn't really say
  anything in particular
  <UlsterResident> I'm gunna go watch some TV
  <UlsterResident> bbl
  <Thalog> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154320
text:
  <Tetsuo> Isn't using NOSPAM in a Hotmail address kind of like
  trying to stop a hurricane with plywood?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154368
text:
  <NekoEttin> =^_^=
  * ChibiJuke sits in his chair.
  * ChibiJuke hides under the cushion.
  * ChibiVile is a neko girl. :o
  * NekoEttin curls up on the cushion and purrs
  * ChibiJuke pulls ChibiVile in with him.
  <The_Capn> Jesus H. Christ. It's like Japan crapped in here.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154425
text:
  <Bob-Diddy> what they going to do bust in your door and see
  who your having sex with?
  <Jokn> hmm
  <PhReE-XEON-> yeah
  PhReE-XEON- (breathe@163.248.171.99) is now known as
  PhReE-XEON
  <PhReE-XEON> they do
  <trife> well i bet if u had a 1ft dick they wouldnt stop u
  from gay sex if they bust in the door
  <trife> just walk up to the cop or whatever and be like hey
  babe i know joo want it
  <trife> man i think of some stupid shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154472
text:
  <|TrunX|> dem polacks are getting smart....the woman all
  stopped using vibrators....
  <|TrunX|> kept getting chipped teeth :þ


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154523
text:
  <therion23> there was this documentary on sadomasochism on TV
  here once
  <|H20|> whats that?
  <therion23> this girl took the cardboard from a toilet roll
  and put sandpaper on the inside and tied up a guy and jacked
  him off with it.
  <faust_> Denmark has all the cool tv shows.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154587
text:
  <GodofDeath> Do you people think that racism is funny or
  something?
  <GodofDeath> You are so dense because you are naive to what
  it's like to have racism effect you.
  <slick> I'm aware of it when a black person assume I have it
  good because I'm white, and that nothing bad happens to me
  because I'm white. WHITE PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
  <Alice> How dare you say I don't know what it's like to be a
  victim of racism, I was walking down the street yesterday when
  a blackie bumped into me. I had to run home instantly and
  wash. Don't fucking talk to me about being a victim.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154635
text:
  Wraith2041: Man, even soulless corporations are telling the
  RIAA to shut their goddamn mouths. I'm betting soon Satan
  himself will burst through the RIAA president's floor and say,
  "Cease, minion. My Avril Lavigne songs are not to be trifled
  with."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154685
text:
  <Dllem> "another expressed his desire to try "onal sex." We're
  not sure what that is, but it sounds kinky."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154730
text:
  <+Nobody> Stephen Stack and James Gundlach were awarded the
  2004 Ignobel Award for their paper The Effect of Country Music
  on Suicide that links the suicide rate to the amount of
  country music played on the radio
  <+private_meta> hmm... if they would play country music in the
  radio i would commit suicide too... so whats so phenomenous on
  that paper?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154792
text:
  <sarcasmo> i hate it when i cant kick ppl
  <sarcasmo> im twice as fast as other ops on #af
  <sarcasmo> cos i i have twice as less life than they do
  <sarcasmo> and therefor im in there twice as often and long
  <sarcasmo> i like how i type sentances that build up to a
  pyramid
  <sarcasmo> and then after a while they go back slowly
  <ValHeru> rofl
  <sarcasmo> just as they are doing now i guess
  <sarcasmo> but u kinda interrupted!
  <sarcasmo> which wasnt nice
  <sarcasmo> -.-


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154901
text:
  <CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under
  the misdirection that i care
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the
  misdirection that you care.
  <CoN> oh thanks
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
  <CoN> ... thats weird
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
  <[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
  *** CoN has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154942
text:
  * polykurt gets pissed off when seemingly simple programs have
  lots of dependencies on other    packages.  People are taught
  to worship the concept of software reuse, but they take it too
  far.  I should write a C library called libtruncate.  Every
  time somebody needs to truncate an array, they will feel
  obligated to use my library instead of writing five lines of
  their own code to do the job.  And I will make libtruncate
  depend on Gnome _and_ KDE _and_ JA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.154988
text:
  <[CMF]O-Face|wurk> uhm, I never thought that "I am BREADMAN!
  With the POWER TO EAT A SLICE OF BREAD IN 1.9 SECONDS!!!  -
  would be a valued superhero power.
  <Commando^> Superheros have gone downhill recently


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155031
text:
  <su3050> i nearly had the courage to talk to a girl today,
  luckily i phoned a friend and we went to a LAN party instead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155118
text:
  <Pulits> So we a have a masochist, a sadist, a zoophilic, a
  necrophile, a coprophilic and a fetichist.
  <Maltos> Why the fuck I have the impression this is going to
  be nasty?
  <Pulits> They're all in jail. So suddenly, the zoophilic says
  "Hey guys, lets fucking rape a cat!"
  <Pulits> And everybody is like "FUCK YES!", but suddenly, the
  coprophilic says "After we fuck it, we shit on it!"
  <Pulits> Everybody applauds. And the necrophile then says
  "Then, we kill it. And after that, WE FUCK IT!"
  <Maltos> Ok dude this is sick.
  <Pulits> Everybody is orgasmed. The sadist then says "Before
  we kill it, lets fucking torture it!"
  <Maltos> Jesus leave the cat alone!
  <Pulits> So the fetichist is like "And then, we dildo rape it!
  "
  <Pulits> Everybody is like "YEAH MAN LETS DO IT!"
  <Maltos> What does the masochist says, then?
  <Pulits> "Miau."
  <Maltos> HAHAHAHA. XD


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155163
text:
  <QBiT> What happens wen all the niggers are standing on the
  moon ?
  <QBiT> Then the problem is finally solved :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155268
text:
  <Yukanojo> "Before departing for Japan, successful candidates
  receive written materials about the Programme along with a
  Japanese language text and tapes."
  <Yukanojo> GOOD LORD
  <Yukanojo> That's like dropping you into the middle of the
  vietnam war with a stick and a fork


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155369
text:
  <na-dragon> Who would win in a fight?  A Z-Fighter from dragon
  ball z, or a jedi master?
  <jonblake> Well, thats a good question, there are alot of
  things that need to be factored in
  <jonblake> Z fighters can fly, shoot big balls of energy, go
  really fast, and releport etc
  <na-dragon> Yes but a jedi master can see all of that happen
  before he does it, and he has a light saber..
  <jonblake> I guess this is one of those things in life we will
  never really know
  <Vyse> GOD DAMNIT, Has either one of you ever even SEEN what a
  pussy looks like?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155435
text:
  <below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
  <Aven> Kill kill kill
  <below> he's going to die for this one
  <Aven> Wait, I'M YOUR ROOMMATE!
  <below> you are?
  <below> wtf?!
  <below> how many fingers am i holding up?
  <Aven> 2
  <Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
  <below> yes.
  * Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155526
text:
  <@toe2toe> Whats the first thing that a victim of wife battery
  does when she leaves the centre for abused wives?
  <@toe2toe> The dishes, if she knows whats good for her!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155619
text:
  <Deusa> I've never seen snow
  <tm2> It's very overrated
  <tm2> Try sitting in your refrigerator sometime...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155675
text:
  <Kraz> I am bored with the internet
  <Kraz> believe it or not
  <Kraz> there are no more "killer apps"
  <Kraz> it's all a big let down
  <Kraz> mostly coz it's not 3d


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155740
text:
  <AnimeMan> my bed is evil.
  <norad> how so?
  <AnimeMan> it's a spy.
  <norad> how can a bed be a spy?
  <AnimeMan> well at night.. it squeeks.
  <AnimeMan> It's as if it's telling my mum, "he's masturbating,
  he's masturbating!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155787
text:
  * mod7t9z730 has joined #sojaHASH
  <mod7t9z730> ehe lets spam these soja lamas ;)
  <mod7t9z730> oops wrong chan
  <+CHiPiTA> lmao
  * sH_Lime sets mode +b *!*@pD9E7C066.dip0.t-ipconnect.de
  *** mod7t9z730 has been kicked by sH_Lime (wrong chan)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155863
text:
  * Ashboy notices that solidair has changed his alias
  <SolidLand> yes.
  <Ashboy> wh00p! l8r.
  *** Ashboy has quit IRC (yes)
  <SolidLand> never seen a guy so excited about my nick change


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155911
text:
  <+Straylight> Victoria's Secret is probably that she's a man.
  <+gwenhyvar> I have a secret in my pants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.155957
text:
  <@harb> Hmm.. I wonder, if you buy that Linksys wireless NIC
  with the antenna on it, and you run the SETI daemon.. does it
  just act as another node in the VLA?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156021
text:
  <Baumann> all I know is that Pascal is really pretty
  <Dan> I think Pascal is a little chubby to be called pretty.
  <Baumann> <<insert your mom comment here>>
  <Dan> man, comparing my mom to pascal would be harsh
  <Baumann> on Pascal, I know
  <Baumann> you're mom's more like VB
  <Baumann> bloaty and only stupid people would touch it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156077
text:
  (Sinada): you need to shut the fuck up. no one will flame you
  if don't say stupid shit. everyone says 'word'...so don't say
  'thats my word!', however no one says twat waffle, so never
  say it again. Also: respect. respect those who deserve it and
  realize your place. You're annoying, most people in the chan,
  and those that are particularly respected, e.g. mods, voices,
  etc. think of you as a social parasite. So shut the fuck up
  and learn some goddam manners.
  (robbie-a): holy shit
  (robbie-a): im not fuckin readin all that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156172
text:
  <PufPufPaz> hugo: you were kidding about marrying a 19/f/ca
  right?
  <hugo> PufPufPaz: Um.. actually, no, and she's a bisexual
  vegetarian pagan to boot.
  <hugo> My life is weird.
  <PufPufPaz> hugo: sounds more interesting than weird.
  <hugo> PufPufPaz: May I /msg you? It's complicated. :)
  <PufPufPaz> hugo: yeh hope is not for heart related matters, i
  suck at that
  <hugo> Nah, it's just that I met Kate in a chat-room
  <hugo> and now she's sitting 10 feet away and we sometimes go
  into the same chat room and chat w/ everyone.
  <PufPufPaz> whats wrong with that?
  * hugo smiles
  <hugo> My wife is doing an impression of 2 parrots having sex.
  * hugo shudders
  <hugo> brb
  <steltek> Is she involving you in that emulation? If not, you
  should ask her to demonstrate. :)
  <hugo> PufPufPaz: That's not the half of it. She bought one of
  those  make-your-own-dildo kits because she wanted her best
  friend to have a 'copy' of me
  <PufPufPaz> hugo: tmi
  <hugo> but you gotta trim your..um.. before you use the mould
  <hugo> so I got this .. thing stuck on me. Looked like I was a
  human candle.
  <PufPufPaz> hugo: really, tmi
  <steltek> LOL
  <Ralinx> lmao
  <hugo> I'll never be able to eat oatmeal again :-/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156229
text:
  <ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering
  condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
  <ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued
  by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
  <ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
  <ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
  <grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a
  dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet
  staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the
  planet Oper!!
  <grifferz> fucking scary eh
  <ben> yes
  <grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames.  I DO NOT KNOW


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156361
text:
  <grendal> what is it with Mexicans that they have to stand in
  the front yard?
  <grendal> like ... frequently
  <grendal> like... daily
  <aNuBiS-> its cleaner than inside their house


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156405
text:
  <TorpedoDog> well whats your take on the whole refugee bit
  then?
  <MalcomX> sailings not the fastest way to get places


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156528
text:
  <Gokou-sama> Which reminds me...whenever I get my own house,
  I'ma have little somewhat fancy glass bottles with a tag
  around their necks that says "Drink Me". I'll also make
  current cupcakes that say "Eat Me" in the currents.
  <Draconis[TCI]> and all the intrevenous drug needles with have
  lil "Inject Me" signs
  <Gokou-sama> lol that'd be funny
  <Gokou-sama> And tie one around my girlfriend's neck
  (supposing I had one) that said "Fuck Me"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156590
text:
  hjdjoo: well, you know what they say
  hjdjoo: "the second-best way to get into a girl's pants is to
  play the guitar"
  hjdjoo: "the absolute best way is chloroform"
  hjdjoo: -plutarch
  hjdjoo: or was that plato?
  hjdjoo: it was one of the great philosophers i think.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156630
text:
  (Sethy) How many Supreme Court Justices can you guys name?
  (MasterOfHyrule) uh...
  (MasterOfHyrule) Bush?
  (Sethy) Aaaand how many members of the Bradey Bunch can you
  name?
  (MasterOfHyrule) Marsha, Cindy, Jane, Peter, Bobby, Greg, Mom,
  Dad, Alice
  (Sethy) ...Now what does that say about you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156692
text:
  <mindran> ok i'm going to be fired
  <mindran> i made some thing generate random passwords for this
  app i just made
  <mindran> and sent it out
  <mindran> and some of them are horrible :(
  <mindran> i dont want to be the person who's password is now
  "hard14long"
  <mindran> or "like10come"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156770
text:
  <PuffinFreshWog> Lord_Lamb: a cop came to our school and said
  that if two underage ppls fuck, they are, strictly by law,
  raping eachother


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156862
text:
  * Kuibi[Minakos-Guardian] gets down on one knee
  <Kuibi[Minakos-Guardian]> Minako, will you marry me?
  <Minako> umm ahhh well, we should get to know each other more
  first before that
  <Minako> and and and....umm


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156943
text:
  <Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is
  now known as Canada.
  <Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should
  name this place we're hiking through."
  <Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each
  pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
  <Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
  <Hack4Kix> "N, eh."
  <Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
  <Shao> g-eh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.156997
text:
  <Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark
  absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of
  the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a
  "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its
  path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit
  working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt
  out, it's because they're full.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157040
text:
  gscale88: Snow Day Chain_If you send this to 10 ppl in 10
  minutes then 2morrow we will have a SNOW DAY!!!!!If you only
  send it to 5ppl then we will have a 2hour delay but go for the
  SNOW DAY!!
  SouledOut 4 Good: Who sent this to you? God?
  gscale88: lol
  gscale88: don't ask...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157101
text:
  <Grimace> I went to a goon party after drinking a bottle o
  vodka.
  <Grimace> I think I had goon and powerade ... ultra blue puke.
  <FiremanSam> fluro pukes own
  <FiremanSam> i did a bright green one after a cocktails
  <Veggie> i did a red spew once.. but that as cocktail related
  and not blood so I'm happy
  <zer0> I once had a mate drink piss from a gatorade bottle (By
  accident) and spew it back up.....thats like piss and spew in
  one!!!
  <Grimace> wtf............


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157189
text:
  <prefix-> I just feel like going upto any idiotic bitch that
  says porn is bad and that boys will be fawked by looking at
  it, and just flap down my pants and slap my penis at her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157230
text:
  TheGimpiestBean: i hate people....
  EwwDontEatThat: heh
  EwwDontEatThat: i hate penis
  EwwDontEatThat: i mean people


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157329
text:
  <Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop
  signs
  <Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop
  rotating
  <Rendrag> i took her at her word
  <Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at
  60 with all four wheels locked up
  <LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
  <Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time :


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157375
text:
  <Prior_Tuck> We had a real Pron king at eaton though. He wad a
  30 gig HD full of pron. He requests a new Hard Drive. We
  suspected he was downloading. He refused to give us his PC,
  but we insisted to take it...to install the new drive. I took
  his ten times embedded folder and clicked delete. Put the
  harddrive in my PC and gave hi his PC back. I told him his
  cache was full. hes got plenty of room


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157422
text:
  Kanishka: The vagina has 3 holes right?
  Sahil: no
  Kanishka: Yeah it does; one for the dick and two for the balls
  <lol>
  Sahil: No you fucking dumbass, there aren't three holes
  Kanishka: Then where do the balls go in?
  Kyle: They...don't.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157471
text:
  <@TekniQue> just keep it simple
  <@TekniQue> if(Field.Grass == TRUE) { Ball.play(). }
  <Kjarrval> But what if someone has performed Field.Shave() ?
  <@TekniQue> good question


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157518
text:
  <kt> i got my tongue pierced
  <Eamon_the_goth17> really
  <Eamon_the_goth17> so whats it like have a rod and two balls
  in your mouth??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157572
text:
  <Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you
  even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the
  last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first
  thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid
  Toys'R'us.."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157624
text:
  <danh> interviewing a fat guy
  <danh> do we hire him
  <pbuckley> does he have a beard?
  <danh> nope
  <pbuckley> then no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157671
text:
  epilnivek: I don't know what time i'll be there... i've got a
  date with ashley and her Wii
  epilnivek: that sounds horrible
  parabolo: yes it does
  epilnivek: but I really do mean the nintendo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157765
text:
  <quadropheniac57> so we're talking about aboriginal symbols in
  school today
  <quadropheniac57> and i tell my group that i read it was bad
  luck to kill an emu, except i say emo on accident
  <quadropheniac57> so i laugh and say "actually, it's pretty
  good luck to kill an emo"
  <quadropheniac57> this girl, overweight, dyed black hair,
  eyeshadow, not goth but close
  <quadropheniac57> says "no, emo is sad. emo is short for
  emotional"
  <quadropheniac57> so i respond "no, emo is short for stupid"
  <quadropheniac57> she says "no, it's for emotional. emo people
  are emotional beings who live that way to relieve their pain"
  <quadropheniac57> i say "emo people are self-absorbed
  attention-seeking idiots who listen to crappy music"
  <quadropheniac57> rest of class, she gives me the most dark
  and depressed death glare
  <quadropheniac57> THE WHOLE REST OF CLASS, that's like 45
  minutes, she's just death-looking me, not even turning her
  head
  <quadropheniac57> i swear, she's gonna kill herself this
  weekend, and it's all my fault
  <civilpunkbikes> good luck coming your way
  <quadropheniac57> amen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157821
text:
  <DiamonDie> why does asl matter?
  <enzo_> age,sex ,location?
  <DiamonDie> yes i know, i've irced since '97, but why does it
  matter?
  <enzo_> because i am n ot gay!
  <enzo_> and i do not chat with men!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157866
text:
  (Bismarck) Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!
  (Bismarck) France is going to house the new nuclear fusion
  reactor!
  (Bismarck) If it suceeds, cheap long term energy. If it fails,
  BAM! France is gone!
  (Bismarck) It's win win!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.157970
text:
  <Miliwen> Alucard, how the hell do you make a city in
  SimCity4?
  <Alucard_the_Kook> Making a city is ... a lot like making love
  to a beautiful woman.
  <Alucard_the_Kook> First you need to check her out, get the
  lay of the land.
  <Alucard_the_Kook> Next, you need to tease her a little.  Make
  trails over her body, allowing you to move freely.
  <Alucard_the_Kook> Then you fiddle with the zones.
  <Alucard_the_Kook> Finally...
  <Alucard_the_Kook> You give the bitch all your money.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158021
text:
  <gnawol> i hate can beer
  <gnawol> i cant drink it
  <gnawol> tastes like metal
  <gnawol> like a steel dildo
  <gnawol> not like ive sucked a steel dildo or anything


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158065
text:
  Jenna says:
  I
  Jenna says:
  l
  Jenna says:
  o
  Jenna says:
  v
  Jenna says:
  e
  Jenna says:
  y
  David says:
  C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
  Jenna says:
  what the **** is your problem?
  Jenna says:
  why do you always do that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158146
text:
  <SQB> It's coming in slow.
  <SQB> What are you using on your end? Carrier pigeons? Smoke
  signals? Talking drums?
  <XselloutX> The neighbours.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158292
text:
  <dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point
  <jv-home> of course not. :P
  <nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158512
text:
  <nitrofenix> fucking cunt
  <nitrofenix> i mean
  <nitrofenix> er
  <nitrofenix> distasteful individual.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158567
text:
  <@Breathe> Server announcement:  >>Attention please: We are
  about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat
  softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be
  able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please
  let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2
  minutes.<<
  <@Breathe> I love it.  "If you can't reconnect, come into a
  channel and let us know!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158618
text:
  [Sam] Damnit, no sex for me tonight.
  [Ven] In the doghouse?
  [Sam] No, she has roommates and I have roommates, but she was
  supposed to go to her sisters tonight to babysit and I was
  going to go over after the kid went to sleep. He's like 1 and
  a half so he sleeps at like 7.
  [Ven] So what's the problem?
  [Sam] Her sister cancelled cause of the crappy weather.
  [Nat has joined the chat 19:12]
  [Sam] So no sister so no sex for me.
  [Nat] You're all such sick fucks, I'm not coming in here
  anymore.
  [Nat has left the chat 19:13]
  [Sam] ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158675
text:
  <|sM|Giga-Dogbert> it doesnt work
  <+Yeti> .. What doesnt work
  <GBL|InfamousGadget> <img src="http://site">  or [img]http://
  site[/img]
  <GBL|InfamousGadget> did you post it somewhere?
  <|sM|Giga-Dogbert> C:\My Documents\My Received Files\
  dogbert1.jpg


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158723
text:
  <prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an
  acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad
  today"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158789
text:
  <schteve> let´s see how many that want to offer me a penis
  enlagement today
  <schteve> in other words, i am gonna check my mail


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158904
text:
  * Coyote` (HaHa@209.194.21.WyldRyde-43304) Quit (Quit: DOS Tip
  #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS)
  <Apple> what's device=fngrcros.sys?
  <netnomad> Oh buoy.
  * Apple grins
  <Apple> i'll look it up
  <netnomad> You do that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.158956
text:
  <Batou> QUIT FUCKING MIDGETS
  <Malf> i cant
  <Malf> they're so hot
  <Malf> they are tight like kids but legal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159037
text:
  <teefers> im khaleds rat
  <teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says
  about him on undernet
  <teefers> then i send it to him
  <teefers> and he winnukes people
  <vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming
  ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not
  to mention, I hate you.
  * teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get
  winnuked h0 h0 h0
  * vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
  <vulture_> :P
  <Untitled2> ha!
  <Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw
  output real time
  <vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
  <vulture_> :P
  <Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
  <vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
  <Untitled2> There's an idea
  <Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from
  x.x.x.x
  <vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159097
text:
  <NikJam> gonna take a shower
  <NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
  <NikJam> I have school tommorow
  <NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the
  counter
  <Lime> you like her, dont you
  <NikJam> well
  <NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
  <NikJam> i take what i can get


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159156
text:
  <im3t8> my last nightmare was of my computer trying to kill me
  <Apathetic> really?
  <im3t8> but in the end it was just the mouse
  <Apathetic> maybe that's metaphoric for something
  <Apathetic> :/
  <im3t8> its a microsoft mouse
  <im3t8> :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159200
text:
  <Cold_n_Alone> oh yea.. remember that one pretty girl i said i
  was talking to in emails and staring at in class?  i asked her
  about masterbation habits and.. she isnt talking to me
  anymore  :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159251
text:
  <sui`> the good news is, you're almost through the sickness
  <sui`> the bad news is, it's sars and you're going to die.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159292
text:
  [+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds....
  [detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love
  big dicks :(
  [+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh?
  [detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159345
text:
  <Duo> i love it when youve been drinking for a while
  <Duo> and you think youre completely sober
  <Duo> but then you stand up and you're like, "oh there it is"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159394
text:
  <Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY!
  <Vincent> WHAT!? how?
  <Sin> acute food poisoning
  <Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159437
text:
  <prawn> i bet your array of games consoles and ability to buy
  wrestling PPVs makes you really popular


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159491
text:
  <0dan0> and I am simulating california in my own room
  <0dan0> I have the humidifier going onto my heater, creating a
  warm front
  <0dan0> then the window is opening letting in the cold dry
  air, creating a cold front
  <0dan0> soon there will be precipitation as the warm air mass
  is forced to rise by the denser cold air
  <0dan0> and my room will be a tropical rainforest
  <cran> or it will be a room full of tepid air and one dumb
  homo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159551
text:
  <Damocles> one of my classmate from HS apparently got a boob
  job.
  <ogre173> cool
  <ogre173> is it done good?
  <Wetzel_116> heh
  <Jim258> lol
  <Damocles> dunno.
  <Damocles> she works at the video store by my house.
  <Damocles> I should go take a look.
  <Jim258> or two...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159601
text:
  <Eye_Candy> I give Durl a piece of 8 1/2 x 11 paper, and he
  says "How big is it in inches?"
  <Vic> As if dick size had anything to do with paper


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159661
text:
  <Oceandream9>  On another note, they should create a word that
  doesn't mean horny, but just having the urge to cuddle.
  <Oceandream9>  Yeah, there's cuddly, but that's more of an
  adjective. I want the actual yearning to cuddle to become a
  word.
  <Oceandream9>  Can anybody think of one?
  <Combat_taco>  cundry
  <Thunder_cunt>  Cuddlesome?
  <Unpleasantries>  snugglish
  <Sm0t>   FEMALE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159721
text:
  <Adonai> but the sex toy shop guy might think i'm crazy buying
  like 15 dildos
  <Alyssa^eating> wth...
  <Alyssa^eating> I just get back and I see that
  <Adonai> so what's the lesson you learned today Alyssa?
  <Alyssa^eating> I'm not sure
  <Adonai> don't come back to IRC ;oD


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159767
text:
  Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a
  friend
  Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy
  when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she
  can't get pregnant
  lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159827
text:
  <Slinky> boys must ALWAYS be reinforced
  <Apollo-> Slinky: boys? I have enough hair on my ass to knit
  you a sweater, and you call me a boy? ;)
  <Slinky> apollo, until you prove otherwise
  * Slinky smirks
  <Apollo-> oh lord
  <Apollo-> You DO NOT want to see my ass, trust me
  <PawTeeGal> better with out without hair?
  <Apollo-> I have 250 lbs of ass
  <Apollo-> I'm sure it doesn't matter whether or not it has
  hair


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159882
text:
  <bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who
  was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the
  double standards against women in society, and how men have no
  double standards against them.
  <bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are
  looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the
  complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got
  pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a
  fag too or something?!"
  <bhlaab> Go equal rights!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159929
text:
  <halos> i went to lunch with a couple co-workers and before we
  left they both
  +went to the bathroom
  <halos> when they came back out I asked, "Who won?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.159975
text:
  *** CASH4GRLS has joined #toronto
  <CASH4GRLS> Any Greedy Female College/Univ. Students in here
  want me to completely pay their for tuition?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909899
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160024
text:
  <Dane-lo_brown[DJedi]> I got in trouble in school cause my
  Espanol teacher asked what architecture we learned from the
  latinos and i said cardboard boxes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160117
text:
  <[wC]Eer0> someone tell me something funny.. im so boored ..
  :-|
  * Pinkeltje thinks
  <[wC]Eer0> hahahahahahaah
  <[wC]Eer0> that was funny :D
  <raw> euro humour :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160273
text:
  <Enhanced> but ya i'm gonna paint my intake on my car
  <Enhanced> can i use spray paint?
  <NT5> ummm..... what other kind of paint did you think there
  was available?? latex flat wall?
  <Roppongi> finger paint
  <Enhanced> i just dont wanna use paintbrush kind of paint
  <NT5> lol
  <NT5> paintbrush kind of paint.... that's good
  <NT5> get out the roller billy-bubba
  <Enhanced> well shit i dont know anything about paint
  <Enhanced> except finger paint
  <NT5> we gonna paint us a car


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160319
text:
  <@GameBot> 206. What is the name of the most southerly village
  in mainland Britain?
  <Serimestari> scottland


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160367
text:
  <sarae> seems like im getting an abortion every other week
  lately
  <Tarkaan> did you get one of those little cards?
  <Tarkaan> cause on the 10th punch, you get a free one
  <Tarkaan> like at subway


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160412
text:
  <@Pumiliocumfustis> these speakers have so much bass
  <@qrg> how do they fit fish in such small boxes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160463
text:
  <g[b]> moooooooooootherfucker
  <Firas> ...
  <Firas> g[b]: before that punchline we need the setup, e.g.
  "what do you call a cow with an oedipus complex", etc.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160519
text:
  <Ashe3> Some dumbass at work covered his computer in magnets
  <PlatinumDragon> ha ha
  <PlatinumDragon> no shit?
  <Ashe3> yeah
  <Ashe3> bunch of smily face magnets
  <BosTony> Ashe: Some idiot put a plant on top of his.. and
  used to water it.
  <Ashe3> lol
  <BosTony> I told him not to call me with problems... EVER.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160574
text:
  <Praetor> i got jury duty and I was like
  <Praetor> "well.. I don't believe in drug laws... i couldn't
  convict someone on drug posession bc i don't believe it should
  be a crime, unless he was black of course"
  <Praetor> excused


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160624
text:
  <[zc]Kinslayer> yo, this customer is a fucking redneck
  <[zc]Kinslayer> I'm going to bomb Jackson, Mississippi
  <[zc]Kinslayer> and i dont care if I spelled the state name
  right or not, no one will care when I wipe it off the planet
  <[zc]Kinslayer> thereby removing the shallowest gene pool in
  the universe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160677
text:
  <Ali_mastah> so our exam finishes and i go to hand my paper in
  about 2 mins late, and the tite-arsed teacher says "sorry no
  more exams to be handed in it's too late you get zero" so i go
  "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" and she goes all cocky and says "no, i
  do not" so i go "good" i pick up the papers and slid my exam
  in somewhere in the middle of them all.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160745
text:
  <Heavy_Clown> Funny how IRC is mostly populated by elitist,
  ignorant pre-pubescent teenagers who can't even construct an
  intelligent insult. |:
  <Vick> heavy....its funny how your probably 32 or something
  and have nothing better to do than try to out smart teenagers
  on irc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160804
text:
  <rg> my f key got fucked once
  <rg> i tried to tell people to use the shift key and all hell
  broke loose


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160851
text:
  (eaThunder) <----- 10 inch penis
  (raygun) <----36" girlfriend
  (TheWulf) blowup or midget ?
  (raygun) child


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160900
text:
  *** SpeedySavant is now known as Savant
  <Shadow|AFK> faster than a speeding bullet!
  <Shadow|AFK> more powerful than a locomotive!
  *** Savant (somewhere@385a42df.18d12617.ed.shawcable.net) Quit
  (Ping timeout)
  <Baralu> Ironic :)
  <Shadow|AFK> alright a slow locomotive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.160954
text:
  Anti: Physics is like sex, it has practical results but that's
  not why we do it
  RaefWolfe: Physics is like sex: I just don't get it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161059
text:
  <dez> lol got some hot lesbian thinking im one
  <g0dly1> heh, same, actually, just sent her a pic of my ex
  <dez> .....
  <dez> is your sceenname josihawt190?
  <g0dly1> yes
  <g0dly1> FUCK
  <dez> oh shit
  <g0dly1> we never speak of this to anyone
  <dez> agreed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161153
text:
  <lobyaway> i need a girlfriend.
  <sublmnl> its overrated
  <sunrinse> girlfriends are great for cooking dinner and
  sticking your dick in
  <sublmnl> i've got money and a hand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161196
text:
  ....  I love the way Microsoft follows standards.  In much the
  same manner
  that fish follow migrating caribou.
  -- Paul Tomblin, alt.sysadmin.recovery


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161280
text:
  Unbeliever: i got this letter from deakin university the other
  day
  Unbeliever: and i live like 2 minutes away from them
  Unbeliever: and they send it by airmail


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161336
text:
  <Zack`> I wore my boxers backwards all day yesterday
  <shea_> haha
  <Zack`> And I didn't realize it until I scratched my ass
  <Zack`> And my hand went through the slot and made contact
  with my crack
  <Zack`> And I was like WTF


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161384
text:
  JokingClown: I want to have a "wall plug" (electrical socket)
  surgically implanted into my skin.
  JokingClown: Maybe on my side, above my hip.
  JokingClown: It would have to actually work or anything... Itd
  just be funny to see people stare.
  JokingClown: I wonder how much a surgery like that would
  cost...
  SpyBreak: :|
  JokingClown: Insurance wouldnt cover it, because its cosmetic
  SpyBreak: WAAAAY too much time on your hands. go look at porn
  or something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161437
text:
  <DoomLord9> heh. reminds me of the other day. my mom walked up
  to me with a pair of panties and says "i found these in your
  room. care to explain" i was like "......no, i can't explain
  that, but thank you for the hope that women come into my room
  and strip when i'm not there. you have made my day happy"
  <DoomLord9> unfortunetly, they were just my sisters she had
  just taken out of the wash. i was kinda bummed about that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161528
text:
  <JustOnePepsi> I work at the walmart picture development
  center just to jerk off to the pics of naked babies taking
  baths


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161590
text:
  <tps^snoogans> haha
  <tps^snoogans> i just went into the kitchen
  <tps^snoogans> and picked up this boneless buffalo wing
  <tps^snoogans> and said "why didnt i eat this this morning?"
  <tps^snoogans> so i ate it
  <tps^snoogans> and then i was like "oh yeah i dropped it on
  the ground outside"
  <tps^snoogans> i'm a fucking retard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161647
text:
  <trunck> how long doesschool have a vacation?
  <Nec> till monday, i think
  <<Nec> next week, that is.
  <trunck> whoa
  <trunck> really long
  <trunck> fucking school kids
  <Nec> is illegal.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161746
text:
  <cherno> midori will pay,
  <cherno> somehow, i will find his family,
  <cherno> and make hamburgers out of them
  <cherno> and make him eat them!
  <cherno> and then i will say
  <cherno> "midori, would you like some more of your mother?, i
  mean beef"
  <cherno> but it will really be his mother


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161795
text:
  < CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining
  flags, and speficically the schg flag
  < CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't
  delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel
  < CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh
  installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161848
text:
  <FutabaAoi> attractive girls like computers, i carry my case
  around town because it attracts chicks
  <R0SC0E> no, attractive girls think guys that think girls are
  attracted to guys with computers are cute in a hurt puppy kind
  of way
  <FutabaAoi> dont most people put down hurt puppies?
  <FutabaAoi> does that mean attractive girls shoot computer
  nerds?
  <R0SC0E> god i don't mean puppies with like missing limbs or
  exposed viscerals


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161911
text:
  <Sollen> so were walking back to the lab I m distracted and
  paying attention that were coming up to the street and I go to
  put my foot down and the curb isn't there any more.
  <Sollen> and I actually realize I'm starting to fall, and I
  could of tried to stumble and keep walking; except I have my
  laptop in my bookbag and after the trouble I had I'm not about
  to risk banging it around.  So my geek impulses say "save the
  computer; sacrifice your body"
  <Sollen> I guess all the martial arts helps because I managed
  to do this nice slow controlled fall to the ground, at the
  last minute I let go of my soda to throw my hand to the ground
  and somehow the soda  manages to fall  so it's standing face
  up without spilling a drop.
  <Sollen> so there I am lying in the middle of this road in
  center of campus with everyone staring at me after I just did
  this perfect drop from standing position to lying position
  completely uninjured without spilling a drop
  <Sollen> so I decide to play it cool, I just lie there like
  "yeah I meant to do that, I was just getting tired so I
  thought I would take a nap right here"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.161957
text:
  JBdarnet: I've been told I'm not a bad looking guy here, which
  is a red-light to hear from someone else in the Navy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162101
text:
  <@psyde> i'm in a violence gang
  <@psyde> we steal lunch money
  <@psyde> and buy 40's
  <DJ-SoLiD> lol
  <DJ-SoLiD> thats gangsta


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162147
text:
  <phlo> i believe i'm going to have to explain to my gf that
  you dont put the ashes from the last bowl back into the box
  with the rest of the dope


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162249
text:
  <charka> that lady you yelled at
  <charka> who started crying
  <jesus> My retarded neighbor, what aboot her?
  <charka> you should scare her with some fireworks :)
  <jesus> That is only funny the first few times


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162320
text:
  <Cornell> damn I wish I could have gone to my friends summer
  camp.. 9 guys my age, 18 girls, and another 18 or so a year
  younger
  <Cornell> *18 or so girls
  <Beoulve> Dude.
  <Beoulve> You'd still be a virgin in the end.
  <Cornell> most likely.
  <Cornell> but still, you knever know, and think of all the
  possibilities...
  <Tarl> Yeah..
  <Beoulve> It's possible that you'd die.
  <Beoulve> Horribly.
  <Tarl> "Hey <Insert cornellmun's name here>! Could you go to
  the convienience store and pick up some more condoms for us?
  Thanks!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162369
text:
  <Ad0> anyone got monsters inc?
  <Ad0> my gf wants to see it
  <Idler> Ad0: No, but I got a monster in my pants
  <Idler> and I bet your girlfriend wants to see that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162410
text:
  [Wz0Ds] hello i want some root i got a lots of CCs (verified)
  and 2 or 3 virgins /msg me (I HAVE TO VER/RIP FIRST)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162454
text:
  schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
  schala: Let me explain
  schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your
  legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and
  make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke
  your weebleweebles and then you're done
  danni: -Blinks.-
  danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
  schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162506
text:
  <neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
  <qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
  <Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
  <neck> oh hell yeah
  <neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162556
text:
  <Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was
  checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I
  noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you
  could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to
  him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
  <Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he
  was half-erect in his pants.
  <Spork> Which he was.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162606
text:
  <road_over> some one is hacking me
  <road_over> help
  <@InvadeR> hacking you how..
  <road_over> the lights on my modem are always flashing
  <road_over> is this normal?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162657
text:
  <D> the #amish dont believe in pr0n
  <D> :P
  <D> well, they do
  <D> but it's all ankle-flashing to them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162751
text:
  <Match> DAMMIT! All my half life cd keys are in use! I can't
  get on CS!
  <Match> Those monkeyfuckers who actually bought the game are
  probably playing it!
  <H4Z3> Does their evil know no bounds?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162792
text:
  (@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
  (@Chris_): cba
  (@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high
  res image
  (@Chris_): nasa.gov *
  (@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
  (@Chris_): exactly!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162835
text:
  theDELIv3ranc3: omg
  theDELIv3ranc3: this schematic said astable multivibrator
  theDELIv3ranc3: and all I see is "ass vibrator"
  theDELIv3ranc3: oh god
  Vad3rZ: LMAO
  theDELIv3ranc3: I hate bash


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162888
text:
  <+Saloja> How do you get the timer off?
  <infinitySPZ> //timer 0 1 //echo TIMERS OFF
  <infinitySPZ> Type that.  It should help.
  * Timer 1 activated
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF
  TIMERS OFF


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162941
text:
  <mi09>this spam generator is great. i sent out a million
  emails for my product
  <jives_>how'd it go?
  <mi09>great! i gat a 10% return rate
  <jives>thats really high!
  <mi09>yeah. a hundred thousand people telling me to fuck off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.162992
text:
  * Now talking in #linux
  <jeramir> hello, can somebody recommend me a good p2p program?
  <glassjoe> GoBuyIt v6.03
  <jeramir> i can't find it
  <glassjoe> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163039
text:
  <Phuser> Someone asked me if I knew what time it was today
  <Phuser> I said, Yes, but not right now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163080
text:
  (_dev) you go get what you want for supper
  (_dev) and i will cook it
  (Ashley) wings!
  (TwinWorkn) Ashley: with dry weave?
  (TwinWorkn) for added panty protection?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163124
text:
  <RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of
  december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163179
text:
  <debutante> thanks orion you fucking piece of cow shit
  <orion> oo cow shit
  <orion> ouchers
  <orion> i used to step in cow patties as a child
  <orion> bare foot
  <orion> and let the shit ooze between my toes
  <orion> it felt wild
  <orion> my dad taught me that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163232
text:
  <Tweak> did i tell you splits?
  <Tweak> i am a camp counslor
  <Tweak> for 5th graders
  <boysplitter> !!!
  <boysplitter> CAN I COME TOO!!??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163274
text:
  {Plag} i liked women at 13
  {Plag} even 11
  {Pest} i liked woman since third grade
  {Beat-Boy} ive liked men since i saw your sister


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163370
text:
  <Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma?
  <Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta,
  Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163416
text:
  *** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
  <d6|GaiaN> lol
  <d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163507
text:
  <rS|skycreatoR> Damnit
  <rS|skycreatoR> I was nice and quiet wanking off to some drums
  N beat, and i can hear my dad going up the stairs.. and then i
  asap close my pants and try to shut the site with the porn
  off, but i havent realized that i caught my wire in the button
  - and it has a short wire - so i smash my head down in the
  table when i try to lean back, as i usual do..
  <rS|skycreatoR> And my dad got pissed.. :\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163563
text:
  <Enjoi> I broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't know
  what 'modest' meant, so I know how you feel.
  <Raven> modest? fuck modesty lol.
  <Enjoi> No, she actually didn't know the meaning of the word
  :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163653
text:
  Valvados (~Draco@12.21.190.1957) is now known as Valv|Nekkid
  <Valv|Nekkid> My roommate is giving me the strangest look.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163710
text:
  <Actinium> so she's like "hey" and i swooned, drooled, and wet
  my pants
  <Actinium> and I came back with "hello"
  <Actinium> i think it's love


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163769
text:
  <Joe_> The word "gun" has been replaced with "Poppinfresh
  Poke" in all of the history books. Didn't they cover that on
  the news?
  <Joe_> Lemme get my book
  <Joe_> The M-1A, the standar issue Poppinfresh Poke up until
  the Korean Thumbwrestle.
  <Joe_> Then, at the advent of the Vietman Squardance, the new
  standard issue Poppinfresh Poke was a modified version of the
  old, named the M16a, or as the soldiers called it: "Hoo hoo!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163865
text:
  <thirdrai|> me n my friends had an intelligent conversation
  the other day
  <thirdrai|> we wre like
  <thirdrai|> if u had to give head to ur father to save him
  would u?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.163949
text:
  <Allen_Schezar> Poptarts is kinda like Popstars but with much
  more punch, flavor and, oh yeah, sex appeal and intelligence
  :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909922
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164004
text:
  <Staberinde> The worst of the bunch was this
  * Staberinde points at his crotch
  <Staberinde> "Ya know this thing isn't going to blow itself!"
  <CrashCat> it will if you wire it with explosives
  <Staberinde> Well yes, but that's only when the zombies are
  near


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909922
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164053
text:
  <Cliff> man, the way I wanna die is as an old man getting a
  heart attack from the excitement of having two 18-year olds
  riding me
  <Zael> wtf man, might as well go with 14 year olds. you're
  gunna die anyway!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909922
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164109
text:
  <Th3Virus> watch southpark wednesday
  <Th3Virus> they are gonna say "shit" on TV
  <Th3Virus> no bleeps
  <Spacenett> which one is it
  <Spacenett> heh
  <Spacenett> they do it all the time on paper view
  <Th3Virus> paper view


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164296
text:
  «@ MisoStupid» <mp3> !MisoStupid 05 - Justin Timberlake -
  Justified - Cry Me A River.mp3 <8.86mb> <4m 50s> <256kbps>
  «@ MisoStupid» WHAT THE FUCKING HELL
  «@ MisoStupid» MY SISTER NEEDS TO NOT USE THIS COMPUTER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164347
text:
  <DrgdHmstr> man if I wanted communist propeganda I'd read
  slashdot
  * DrgdHmstr was kicked by supz (communist)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164411
text:
  [devilsad] OO is like the missionary position, all day long
  [@sobri] heh
  [@sobri] i think of it more like group sex
  [devilsad] no wonder you like it then
  [@sobri] class ReachAround extends AnalSex
  [_Spunky_] its like an orgy with everyone you know - you know
  exactly how to treat each class
  [_Spunky_] whereas imperative code, you have to be formally
  introduced to each new partenr
  [@sobri] and remember every conversation you've had with them,
  just incase you put your food in your mouth with something you
  say later
  [devilsad] it's too clean and clinical for me
  [devilsad] rubber gloves on before the insertion, so to speak
  [@sobri] heh
  [_Spunky_] haha
  [devilsad] no casual toying with other people's private
  functions
  [@sobri] i don't know OOP in any languages other than php, but
  can always statically call methods
  [@sobri] $jizzim = ForePlay::handJob;
  [_Spunky_] public sub spunkOnTheCarpet()
  [@sobri] $orgy = new Orgy; $orgy->addFemale('linda'); $orgy->
  addFemale('tina'); $orgy->addMidget('gary'); $orgy->addSelf();
  [devilsad] lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164457
text:
  <MrMortisland> I know emo
  <MrMortisland> Emo is little boys crying on stage because
  their daddy touched their pee pee


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164549
text:
  <Spankle> What the fuck is a furniture cover?
  <Al> Spankle: a sheet you put over chairs and shit to stop
  dust or dirt getting on them
  <Al> like a foreskin for your sofa.
  <Jre-La> And retracts when guests come by


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164597
text:
  <Janemba  its all the wang size moshun
  <andriod  anyone watch Buffy the vampire slayer
  <MoShun  you wang your dad?
  <Janemba  i have before
  <Janemba  but not often
  <Janemba  no no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164699
text:
  <me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the
  curse
  <Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the
  CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct,
  being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is
  also clearly labelled.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164779
text:
  Chris: well, idle hands are the devil's playdgroun
  Lotach: which is why god invented porn
  Chris: yes
  Lotach: so man would not resort to the devil's deeds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164829
text:
  <DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos
  were candy
  <buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
  <DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
  <DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164879
text:
  <uTi|Veridian> my HLTV tops out at about 30 people - then lags
  like your mom
  <cyde> so tell me... if i used my mom in conjunction with your
  server... could we top 60?
  <uTi|Veridian> can your mom handle 30 teenage boys?
  <cyde> the question is....can 30 teenage boys....handle my
  mom?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.164937
text:
  <@MephistoSan> I'm having deja vu
  <@MephistoSan> they must have added something new to the
  matrix
  <@MephistoSan> :/
  <+DHX|cleaningroom> omg they cut the hardline
  <+DHX|cleaningroom> GET OUT NOW
  <@MephistoSan> GET ME AN EXIT
  <+DHX|cleaningroom> AFFIRMATIVE
  MephistoSan has left IRC (Quit: Local kill by DHX|cleaningroom
  (exit))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165030
text:
  <Tarkaan> I distonctly remember saying "extra hot"
  <Tarkaan> damn chinese
  <living2di> distonctly?
  <Tarkaan> you are correct, that was a very ironic typo
  <dabba> damn mongorians


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165082
text:
  <@frosty[bong]> Current Time Time:«12:38am» Day:«Sunday»
  Date:«December 1st 2002» TimeZone:«GMT -8:00»  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n

  <@frosty[bong]> its December!!!
  <@kmad> sweet
  <@kmad> only 14 months till feburary


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165142
text:
  <ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on
  the field so i exited and now i cant get in
  <ratsun> what to do?
  <super-radish> reboot
  <ratsun> the computer?
  <super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them
  back on
  <ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165238
text:
  <Ian-W> lesbian porn
  <Ian-W> actually lesbian/gay porn
  <Ian-W> because its like two girls that are guys
  <CK-[away]> what would you call 2 hermaphrodites
  <Ian-W> tetris


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165281
text:
  <hypr> if i was getting it in the ass by a brute id fucking
  kill him stab him in the throat with a pencil or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165340
text:
  <Cheetah> heh, someone else who was on my box didn't like my
  lack of bitchx ...
  <sig11> heh?
  <Cheetah> bitchx
  <Cheetah> BitchX
  <Cheetah> for fucks..
  <Cheetah> (from .bash_history)
  <Cheetah> who actually types things like for fucks.. into
  their shell?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165388
text:
  <predetah> i seen a real hackers movie once, but i couldnt
  stand ot watch it all.. those geeks were so ugly
  <predetah> this zerocool charactor aint to easy to look at it
  either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165479
text:
  Lckyduck322 : bitch, what the fuck do you want
  theonejanitor : how are you
  Lckyduck322 : i'm great and you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165526
text:
  <WI-RaZ0r> ok fuck u bitch
  <ArmedFred> The only thing insulting about that sentence was
  the terrible spelling


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165581
text:
  <the_JinX> Now, Play Russian Roulette In Bash, Just Run This
  Line:
  <the_JinX> [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo "You
  live"
  <psychosquee[]> the_JinX: What are the odds?
  <the_JinX> 1 in 6 chance of removing your linux
  * psychosquee[] has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
  <^sWift> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165874
text:
  <aurikan> i got a pre-broken AOL cd in the mail today
  <aurikan> how considerate of them
  <aurikan> they saved me the trouble of breaking it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.165956
text:
  <pokerface> Mac development is OK, so long as you don't mind
  that your target audience is likely to be you and the three
  other mac guys.
  <TheFeniX_Work> last I checked there were at least 9 Mac
  gamers out there. Show some respect for the demographic
  pokerface.
  <pokerface> Respect begins with double digits.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166003
text:
  <-- Matias has quit (Exit: Some people are like Slinkies . . .
  not really good for anything, but you still can't help but
  smile when you see one tumble down the stairs)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166046
text:
  roadapathy: I never had any sisters when I was growing up. It
  sucks.
  roadapathy: I had to find out how stupid girls are on my own.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166195
text:
  <illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody.
  shes not around,
  he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you
  fuck him?"
  <defz> wait
  <defz> are you a guy?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166276
text:
  <prebullem> can I use F'(x)=[(f'(x)g(x) - f(x)g'(x)]/g(x)^2 to
  integrate (4-x*sqrt(x))/(2x^2) and call it F'(x) then find F
  (x)?
  *** [p]-chan (fun@cpe-178-101.valp.net) has joined #math
  <emul8or> prebullem HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL
  YOU HOW TO DO THE PROBLEM?
  <emul8or> not to mention that i already told you that your
  goddamn crackpot idea doesn't work
  <Meta> looking at the denominator, g(x) would be sqrt(2x), g
  (x) and f'(x) have to be constants
  <Meta> so no, and just use the fact that (a+b)/c = a/c + b/c
  and the power rule
  <emul8or> exactly
  <emul8or> as i've already told him twice
  <Meta> heh
  <prebullem> well
  <prebullem> I don't understand why it doesn't work
  <emul8or> because you pulled the idea straight out of you know
  where


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166326
text:
  <Brenton> see, you arent even willing to hear anything without
  pre-concieved ideas.
  <Kvant> Brenton, you have no preconceived ideas, i guess?
  <Brenton> no i dont.
  <Brenton> ive decided what i believe is the Truth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166370
text:
  <|MonK|> I have a 16X dvd rom drive,  so why dose it still
  take an hour and  a half to watch a whole DVD?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166455
text:
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> lmfao i found another phone number
  for a dude named Dick Ftizwell
  <@RxR|Skitzo> lolol
  <@RxR|Skitzo> you need life...badly
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> thank you captain obvious
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> what would i ever do without you my
  trusted sidekick
  <@RxR|Skitzo> haha
  * RxR|Skitzo is now known as Captain`Obvious
  <@Captain`Obvious> side kick?
  <@Captain`Obvious> youre my side kick bitch
  <@Captain`Obvious> i am 2nd to no one
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> yes, yes you think so, but u see...
  i have the tube. the all mighty cardboard tube. you do not.
  your my side kick. deal with it.
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> now that that is settled, let us go
  save farm animals from being stolen by bandits!
  <@Captain`Obvious> haha
  <@Captain`Obvious> nah, lets save matts neighbors from having
  more guns stolen from them...by him
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> very well then! hurry! to the
  mistery machiene!
  <@Captain`Obvious> its Mystery Machine
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> thank you once again captain obvious
  <@RxR|SkaAntiFlag> ya i steal guns
  <@RxR|SkaAntiFlag>  so what??
  <@RxR|SkaAntiFlag>  i also stole your 12 year old sister
  virginity
  <@Captain`Obvious> i steal everything else lol
  <TheCardboardTubeSamurai> once again, you save the day captain
  obvious! without your obviousness the world would suck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166506
text:
  <BlueAngel_> we did it over msn yesterday
  <BlueAngel_> I was very pleased with it
  <BlueAngel_> I can't wait to meet him in person


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166589
text:
  <cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT:
  <cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad
  <cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables
  <cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert
  <cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
  <cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
  <cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
  <cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
  <cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket
  <cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy
  <cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident
  <cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great
  Microwave Games
  <cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real
  <cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l
  Timmy?
  <cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
  <cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166636
text:
  <CausticGnome> so, i was in the garage, smoking, when I saw
  the book the jehovas witnesses gave me about the end of the
  world
  <CausticGnome> entitled: "Revelation Its Grand Climax At Hand!
  "


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166729
text:
  <Shempo> Fox just interviewed the 8th grade teacher of the
  American who was bedheaded in Ira.
  <Shempo> beheaded in Iraq*
  <leg0man> how the hell does that have any relevance at all?
  <Zaphod> how the fuck do you interview someone that was
  beheaded?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166777
text:
  <_wookie_> hehe Eli was just telling me a funny story, she was
  helping someone in the building here who couldn't open a jpg
  in Photoshop, everytime she clicked it would open the image in
  IE,  when she showed her how she wanted to know how to remove
  the border from the image, eli had to explain that the image
  had no border, that was the photoshop application surrounding
  the picture.
  <elo> thats advanced n00bism ;-)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166820
text:
  <Papa_Trousers> you ever think the guys who invented the word
  sex spelled it that way so we could type it with our left
  hands?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.166959
text:
  <negev> Have a good time on Friday?
  <Sefrian> got proper fucked up
  <Sefrian> started seeing binary on the fuckin walls
  <negev> lawl
  <Sefrian> you know you're a geek when you hallucinate binary


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167004
text:
  <]Darkstar[> Everyone hit ctrl+v
  * MMK[TP] hits ctrl+v... ctrl+v runs away
  <MMK[TP]> Now I lost these two keys!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167063
text:
  <inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
  <LZ> what does it do?
  <inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I
  TYPED BEFORE
  <LZ> hmmm
  <LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
  <inv694102> O.....
  <inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
  <LZ> lol...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167111
text:
  Tarja: TODAY in auto shop
  Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's
  engine and i insisted no one kill it
  Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed
  him it
  Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he
  checks the oil and stuff
  Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167168
text:
  <POSKY|dinner> stop sucking up to him u dicks :P
  <Fiery_isles> Element`: i figured out why posky always makes /
  me licks comments :D
  <Element`> WHY!!?!?!?!?
  <Element`> its driving me insane D:!!
  <Fiery_isles> cause he thinks we are dicks :D?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167230
text:
  <Geothermal> too many kitties in my life
  <Kashan> masturbate more
  <Geothermal> that's your solution to everything damn it
  <Geothermal> "Just keep whackin' Geo!"
  <Geothermal> well I'm tired of that kinda attitude


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167280
text:
  <skaterboy> astro is ur video up already?
  <astrOdz> http://www.skaterboy.is.gay.com:9512/~astrodz/vid/
  astrodz.avi
  <skaterboy> i don't see no video


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167375
text:
  <Rewt> oooh
  <Rewt> panic room is on.
  <Rewt> I'd have wireless internet in my panic room
  <Rewt> except with my luck, my plea for help would end up
  posted on bash.org


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167437
text:
  <Scibert> Three @s for the IRCops under the sky
  <Scibert> Seven for the Op Lords in their channels of stone
  <Scibert> Nine for Mortal Chatters doomed to die
  <Scibert> One for the Dark Peer on his Dark Throne
  <Scibert> In the land of Ping where the Netsplits lie.
  <Scibert> One @ to rule them all
  <Scibert> One @ to find them
  <Scibert> One @ to bring them all
  <Scibert> And in the darkness, bind them
  <Scibert> In the Land of Ping, where the Netsplits lie.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167485
text:
  <@Gallahan> Anyone know the geographic distribution for AOL
  proxies?
  <@abombpk> hell?
  <@Lyle> thats an understatement


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167533
text:
  * Malik_Ishtar begins to get impotent
  <Malik_Ishtar> :O
  <Malik_Ishtar> impatient
  * Malik_Ishtar dies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167578
text:
  < euronium> i never understood the concept behind flavor
  colored condoms
  < Skarack_> do you suck dick?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167629
text:
  <matts_> arto hates me, it's about time
  <artoh8su> no, i dont
  <matts_> oh
  <artoh8su> i just couldnt fit artoh8suunlessyournameismatts in
  my name


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167675
text:
  <{fedom}> Dude, I am MCSE and A+, but I dont act lame like
  you!
  <{fedom}> I am MCSE, A+, CIW, Oracle DBA......I am sitting
  here
  on a dual p-Xeon 2.8Ghz, 10GB RAM, 1TB 15,000RPM ultra160 SCSI
  RAID HD;
  give a fucking break kid, I make more money than you ever
  will.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167819
text:
  <Porthos> did you hear about the new pirate movie?
  <Porthos> it's rated PG-13
  <Porthos> wait
  <Porthos> damnit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167915
text:
  TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and
  play counter-strike all day
  Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
  Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life
  than you
  Dr SpaZZo: Pity
  TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
  Dr SpaZZo: Liar
  Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
  TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
  TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought
  them to be
  TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
  TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
  Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.167986
text:
  <+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
  (110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
  <@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
  <+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
  (110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
  <@contagious> lol
  <@contagious> That one either
  <+Jenda_away> hmm
  <+Jenda_away> fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168654
text:
  <@DREAD_0> you now, the only reason yanks spell phonetically
  is you're all too stupid to understand the intircasies of the
  english language, it's nothign to be proud of
  <@DREAD_0> and yes, i realise i cant spell intricacies
  <Azhrarn> nothign?
  <@DREAD_0> or nothing
  <Azhrarn> or know


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168706
text:
  <wonderwoman> and electrode pads around the rectum are reason
  enough to pay attention to a thorough shave. . .
  <wonderwoman> um, oops
  <dellarte> wow that was enlightening ww
  <wonderwoman> um, wrong window


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168789
text:
  <{o_o}> occupation isn't liberation, killing & mainimg
  children isn't liberation, you guys need a reality check
  * {o_o} has quit IRC (Killed ((politically hostile. situation
  diplomaticaly resolved under IRC Security Council Resolution
  1422)))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168855
text:
  < LittleJon> heh.... Kim just asked me what "bukkake" is....
  so I told
  her to type the word in Google & hit "I'm feeling
  lucky."
  < Lord_Pryo> lol!
  < LittleJon> ....and she did it on Tixer's computer.
  * Slide rofl!
  < Lord_Pryo> :D
  < Lord_Pryo> please tell me Tixer was there
  < LittleJon> he came in towards the end, and said, "I'm gonna
  get in
  trouble!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168907
text:
  <SimonBob> A friend of mine was the games monitor for a linux/
  windows hybrid comp at school
  <SimonBob> He was in charge of deleting games
  <SimonBob> And he was like "Linux? That game isn't fun"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.168969
text:
  <HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a
  girlfriend are what? 0?
  <Biolution> no i had one in the sims
  <Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that
  way i can get lots of girlfriends
  <Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version
  <Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when
  they talk dirty to me
  <HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2
  <Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169027
text:
  Rude: holy shit people take everything the wrong way. I was
  having dinner, so when I get back to the comp my buddy asks
  what I was doing. so i told him, and he's like "oh yeah? that
  your code name for jacking off nowadays?"
  Rude: then just now i was jacking off and someone asked what I
  was doing, so I told em i was jerking, and they're like "lmao,
  so what're you actually doing? making dinner or someshit?"
  Rude: I'm just going to make shit up from now on :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169068
text:
  (@|TripleH|) would you let a guy blow you for $1 million ?
  (EnronExec) 500 dollars
  (EnronExec) you can blow me for 500 dollars


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169115
text:
  <CardiacVio> Dude, are you skipping homeschool again?
  <Metatag> Yep, I'm in the computer lab at the high school.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169169
text:
  <martha> alesha...dont listen to them...sugar has been proven
  to cure hiccups
  <martha> a spoonful will do it, wash it down with liquid if
  you need to
  <eclipse> so is a quick shake of my protein drink
  <martha> I have this feeling eclipse's 'protein drink' is
  something he carries with him at all times, in a convenient
  little sac


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169322
text:
  <^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
  <^Matt^> :/
  <Windogg> doh
  <^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
  <^Matt^> like this was the one
  <^Matt^> :)
  <Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the
  one"  I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart
  started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started
  sweating, and I got all weak
  <Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169372
text:
  [blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they
  cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's
  like Moore's law applied to annoyance
  [blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a
  megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be
  clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169422
text:
  <Eriya> I need some new and exciting way to prepare chicken
  legs
  <IamMercy> Put on a french maids outfit!
  <IamMercy> And play circus music
  <Eriya> thanks Mercy, I can always count on you to be
  completely unhelpful


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169464
text:
  (harm_) math has never been my strongpoint
  (harm_) or english
  (harm_) or school
  (harm_) or girls
  (harm_) or life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169507
text:
  (Horny-Net-Geek): Hi, I just got my computer yesterday morning
  took all day to set up and I stayed up half the night to
  download mirc from a web sight in Turkey. My questions is (1)
  how do I get ops (2) how do you send messages. (3) all women
  here a/s/l/?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169553
text:
  RoyalPineapple: girlfirends are overrated
  RoyalPineapple: plus although sex with a girl is definitely
  more pleasurable, masturbation is so much more efficient
  SoAP: i'll take the real thing if i can get it
  RoyalPineapple: i dunno... ive gotten some bunk ass blowjobs,
  where im kinda waiting for it to end
  RoyalPineapple: thinking, ya know if i were alone i could
  finish this up lickedy split and still have time to watch
  House


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909950
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169615
text:
  * phucknut == drunk
  <phucknut> wh00000
  <ian_> phucknut, I replaced your beer with bottles of my piss.
  <phucknut> yum
  <phucknut> i'm gonna go back to the bar and drink some more
  <phucknut> wh000
  <phucknut> lata chump
  <phucknut> ssss
  <cwd> haha
  <cwd> phucknut turns into a dalnet user when he's drunk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169727
text:
  Good Book Report

  Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life"
  by Bill Clinton.
  One smart-ass student turned in the following book report,
  with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
  His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

  Titanic:..... $29.99
  Clinton:..... $29.99

  Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
  Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

  Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden
  love, and
  subsequent catastrophe.
  Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden
  love, and
  subsequent catastrophe.

  Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
  Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

  Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
  Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

  Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
  Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

  Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
  Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

  Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
  Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

  Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
  Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

  Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
  Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

  Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
  Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same
  thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169779
text:
  <LARZ_GOD_ME> lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing
  <LARZ_GOD_ME> which one
  <darque9> considering your spelling, i'd say "studing"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169826
text:
  <castironpants>Everyone's mad at me because I faked an
  orgasm...
  <castironpants>...In the middle of a teen pregnancy seminar...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169909
text:
  <Jace> god this computer is running like a dog
  <h0ax> Jace unless it is a lame dog or missing several limbs,
  dogs usually run pretty fast
  <h0ax> I wouldnt want to race one
  <Jace> god this computer is running like an elepant
  <Jace> hope they run slow
  <h0ax> memory is working well then?
  <mole-inc> elephants are pretty fast
  <ReKTeK> they can run faster than humans :P
  <h0ax> why dont you say a turtle or something
  <h0ax> turtles are KNOWN for being slow
  <Jace> god this computer is running like a TURTLE FINE HA
  <h0ax> but then.. it did beat the hare..
  <Jace> god this computer is running like a hare
  <h0ax> no, they're fast, usually. except against turtles.
  <mole-inc> god this computer is running like a crippled ant.
  <Jace> god this computer is running like a turtle unless
  competing against a hare in which case the computer is running
  like a hare
  <h0ax> you know you could just say it's running slow.
  <Jace> oh yeh
  <Jace> could do that... i guess...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.169969
text:
  <DrStrangelove> Yeah, save your money, man.
  <DrStrangelove> It's not too late.
  <[DMK]Relvox> im 16
  <[DMK]Relvox> its kinda too late
  <DrStrangelove> Else you'll end up like the rest of the
  population.
  <DrStrangelove> Poor and broken.
  <DrStrangelove> And ignorant.
  <[DMK]Relvox> what is ignorant?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170020
text:
  [23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
  [23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
  [23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
  [23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
  [23:03] <exploding_elf> watch it `Jamesy, keep your fluids to
  yourself and dont flood


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170065
text:
  <gadget73> Oracle gave out bobble head dolls of thier CEO to
  thier employees for Christmas
  <gadget73> i want one, as well as a Richard Stallman and Bill
  Gates one, then I could have mock discussions about shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170112
text:
  <iMike-> call tech support and be like yeah my friend stole
  windows 2000 from officemax and he burned it for me
  <iMike-> and it's not working properly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170164
text:
  <Neon[UK]>im considering using redhat as my desktop pc
  <Neon[UK]>its just so much better
  <Neon[UK]>windows error: OMFG THERZZ AN ERRROR!!111 WTF??!?!?!
  <Neon[UK]>linux error: hello there, you have an error. here's
  a detailed list of whats gone wrong and he's how to fix it,
  would you like some coffee?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170213
text:
  <SPACEBOY|GTA3> when the pain stops... thats when you know
  you've kicked the bucket
  <nuggetman> i just read the obituaries to make sure i'm not
  there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170260
text:
  <Castle> Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
  <Bizarre> Because she was deaf and blind?
  <Castle> No, she was a woman.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170316
text:
  <wasabi>  wish I could call up a friend right now
  <wasabi> and say "hey wanna go grab food"
  <wasabi> BUT I CAN"T
  <wasabi> oshi put the notice back in the topic. =(
  --- Oshi has changed the topic to: Cosplay.com - WANTED:
  Dallas Otaku to hang out with Wasabi.
  <wasabi> thx


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170372
text:
  <@SLing> uhm wow... there's a "Linux and Windows XP" club in
  my area
  <@SLing> isn't that a conflict of interest?
  <@SLing> All the meetings would boil down to debates like "I
  can network my computers automatically with my OS, and it
  detects everything" "Oh yeah? I can make MY OS purple"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170484
text:
  <Fox_Alan> when you have to resort to using pickup lines from
  bash.org things are bad :)
  <Borlath_Mon> Yeah, but nobody I know over here READS bash.org
  - I read a bit before I go out, and I'm the life of the party.
  Telling jokes, making fun of things...
  <Borlath_Mon> Of course, I -did- get into a bit of trouble
  when I went to the Black Pride thing.
  <Borlath_Mon> That antique farm equipment joke didn't go down
  too well.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170535
text:
  <FFk> Ive been living on my own for 2 weeks. Im so bad with
  money and shit im drinking apple juice and eating animal
  crackers.
  <Goftyrind> erm....
  <FFk> i can safely say i need my mommy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170626
text:
  <malp> this channel would be an argument for forced
  sterilization if there ever was a chance of any of you getting
  laid
  <RunMe> malp: you keep talking as if you're NOT ON this
  channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170689
text:
  <Louie[laptop]> i read an article
  <Louie[laptop]> on a dude that sold 486's
  <Louie[laptop]> and passed them off as p2's
  <Louie[laptop]> and shit
  <err-afk> haha
  <Louie[laptop]> and it took a while for people to catch on
  <Louie[laptop]> stoopid people
  <cheesegoduk> lol how could people not notice that they could
  only run windows 3.1 on them
  THEJRC[work]> naah you can get 98 and 2k to run on a 486
  <THEJRC[work]> just runs like christopher reeves


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170747
text:
  <@CMX> got a speeding ticket the other day
  <@CMX> and the fucking asshole cop
  <+mootlife> how fast?
  <@CMX> insulted my car
  <%jdp> wtf... lol
  <@CMX> 69 in a 55
  <+mootlife> insulted your car?
  <@CMX> fucker asked if I had any dead midgets in the trunk
  implying I have a little car
  <+mootlife> LMAO!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170802
text:
  <SJr> ped did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
  <SJr> Mook did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
  <SJr> Mojo did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
  <SJr> Liam did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
  <Mook> no I didn't know that
  <Mook> happy kiloweek


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170845
text:
  SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by
  Reuters
  Ticker  Price  Change  Percent  Volume
  1  :-) B    26.50  +0.22   +0.84    18300
  2  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
  3  :-) S    38.50  +0.07   +0.18    688700
  4  :-) T    14.45  +0.15   +1.05    930700
  5  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
  6  :-) R    43.55  +0.05   +0.11    157700
  7  :-) D    64.77  +0.07   +0.11    342600


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170904
text:
  <@Neurowave> YOU!
  <@Neurowave> DOWNLOAD!
  <@Neurowave> ALL!
  <@Neurowave> SONGS
  <@Neurowave> THEN
  <@Neurowave> LISTEN
  <@Neurowave> NOW
  <spacer> ALL YOUR CAPS ARE BELONG TO US!
  <sEnDarK> that sentence is not gramatically correct, its "all
  your caps belong to us"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170948
text:
  <nird> no i would never associate myself with ravers. i listen
  to intellegent music like nirvana, rush, and tori amos


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.170999
text:
  <DjK> well, I noticed that the noise my kid makes when he gets
  into a tantrum at the shops wanting chocolate is EXACTLY the
  same noise he makes when I accidentally cut off the top of his
  finger when he's helping me prepare the carrots.
  <Rovie> ...
  <DjK> and they say I'm a bad parent - but I notice these
  little things!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171050
text:
  <picklehammer> im nude right now
  <xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
  <picklehammer> I was a while ago
  <picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171099
text:
  <Spock> have you ever noticed how closely the jehovas
  witnesses resemble the sith?
  <Spock> they always come in pairs of two
  <Spock> one Master and one apprentice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171139
text:
  [+MrCow] linux=allah
  [+MrCow] people like it but are scared to say it
  [+MrCow] then you get the random people
  [+MrCow] who run in with bombs screaming LINNUXXXXXXX WINDOWS
  SUCKS LINNUXXXXXXX


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171190
text:
  <Gobblin> this guy i know is getting like a microwave
  connection or something
  <Gobblin> sounds pretty 1337x0rz
  <avat> "damn you old man with your pacemaker, you are slowing
  my uploads"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171236
text:
  <beno> i love you mannnnnnnn!!!!11111111111
  <rock> i love you to, in a fuck off and dont come near me kind
  of way.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171289
text:
  <Bopo> 10mbit <-
  <@swelt> thats nice for you, and we are all glad you brought
  it to our attention
  <@swelt> we admire your amazing connection, and assume that
  your penis is proportionally large too
  <@swelt> we can only hope to attain such large connections
  (and genetalia) ourselves


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171338
text:
  <Leo-chan> I have a large warehouse full of large weapons of
  mass destruction
  <webrunner> Destroying mass is against the laws of
  thermodynamics!
  <Leo-chan> screw the laws of thermodynamics!
  * Leo-chan pulls out a perpetual motion machine
  * webrunner stops the machine
  * webrunner holds out a "Thermodynamics Police" badge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171393
text:
  <TWK|Tharensk> im sure you could've googled it
  <Fneb> nice to know people still haven't learnt to google :/
  <Accipiter> Nice to know that some ppl still can throw
  arrogant comments on ppl who doesn't know the entire world
  encyclopedia :/
  <skenk> yea because google is clearly in an obscure corner in
  britannica as far as public knowledge goes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171500
text:
  * Now talking in #9-11
  <[9-11]|vS|darkwinter> cant we just have a moment of silence?
  <[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO MY TERROR DAY
  BARBECUE
  <[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> WE WILL HAVE GAMES
  <[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> LIKE
  <[9-11]ILLuSiOnZ|GaS|> we did b4
  <[ws]-storm[9-11]> hi
  <Will> holy shui
  <[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> PIN THE JET ON THE WTC TOWER
  <Will> no one is oped either
  <[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> KABOOM
  <nLs|rOnny[9-11]> omfg
  * *** G-line requested by Jaden.. (465)
  * Disconnected


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171556
text:
  <DarkWarrior> I know... I'm Mainly reffering to t3ch. I have
  nothing against him but i'm just saying thats what gives us
  *nix people a bad reputations
  <t3ch> I dont try and do anything, If i'm going to spend the
  time doing it i'll do it right.
  <t3ch> and two we alwasy had a bad rep. FreeBSD was created by
  a bunch of college kids on LSD. i dont think you can have a
  worse rep.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171619
text:
  <Ash> My Amazon package arrived in Baltimore at 9pm last
  night... but there's no data after that!
  <wild> ash: where is lk's package?
  <MadHatter> mind your business wild
  <MadHatter> I'm already taking care of lk
  <MadHatter> don't ever mention it again
  <MadHatter> ever
  <gb> Ash: where is lk's package?
  *** gb was kicked by MadHatter (..)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171715
text:
  <Contrition> made me think of an abortion party
  <[Special^K]> there's parties for that?!?!
  <Contrition> yeah. kind of like a baby shower, but the mother
  can drink.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171766
text:
  <pac> THAT DUDE THAT LOOKS LIKE ZERO COOL
  <pac> IN MY SCHOOL
  <pac> I YELLED ZERO COOL DURING LUNHC
  <pac> AND HE STOOD UP
  <pac> AND LOOKED AROUN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171813
text:
  <Maxim-> these fortune cookies are lame
  <Maxim-> mine says "You are going to have some new clothes."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171854
text:
  ( Fuzzy     ) jBalls: go get all asian on them and start
  bargining
  ( jBalls    ) haha i lack that crucial gene
  ( jBalls    ) i cant bargain my way out of a cardboard box
  ( Lev       ) but you ddr like a motherfucker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171916
text:
  <lammah> getting your own AS:  $250  setting up your own
  network:  $100k
  having your upstream forward your stupid request to NANOG:
  priceless
  <lammah> Dear Peers/Colleagues,
  <lammah> We will start to announce a new prefix:
  <lammah> AS13197 192.168.0.0/16
  <lammah> Please update your filters.
  <lammah> Thanks,
  <lammah> Reinder van Amerongen,
  <lammah> Junior. System/Network Adminstrator and Senior
  Cabling consultant.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.171964
text:
  <poaw> Man, I remember seeing them live in concert, and they
  were wearing these really short shorts.....
  <poaw> ...and some of Lance's ball sweat landed on my tongue.
  That was the defining moment in my life.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172025
text:
  <taglin>   ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to
  add drives?
  <suds>   yeh
  <suds>   done that
  <taglin>   k... whats next?
  <suds>   weee
  <suds>   hang on a sec...
  <suds>   need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
  <suds>   :)
  <taglin>   heh
  <taglin>   i think some of the problems with this crazy
  install could be alcohol related


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172065
text:
  {[FoF]}Draegos: no, I dont jerk off
  {[FoF]}Draegos: i never jacked off and never will
  xceptional: your nuts must be the size of bean bag chairs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172120
text:
  <Shadowline> ya know....begging for ops is rude
  <acquacow> heh
  <acquacow> well, I got my HL key and q3 key from you
  <acquacow> I just figured =)
  <acquacow> if I'm gonna whore it
  <acquacow> I might as well go all the way


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172169
text:
  <zorba> man tesla was a cool guy
  <zorba> he basically transmitted power over 30 feet without
  the use of wires
  <arpit> i can do it too :P
  * arpit throws a battery


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172225
text:
  moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head
  hunters to even fucking return a call
  <moose> "do you have a ccna?"
  <moose> BITCH HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME
  <moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
  <moose> sigh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172271
text:
  * beer-chan back 20:28:35 EST (shower) gone: 1709wks 2days
  23hrs 42mins 18secs
  <beer-chan> YES
  <beer-chan> best shower ever


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909965
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172371
text:
  <Svartfot> try putting some flavored tea up you mouth..same
  shit different name if  you ask me
  * Svartfot was kicked by Dekkon (Thank you for not discussing
  the outside world, goodbye.)
  <^flash> you guys kick and ban people for the most fucked up
  reasons...
  <hardlined> stfukthx
  * McMoo sets mode: +b *!*_flash@*.bix.bellsouth.net
  * ^flash was kicked by McMoo (no we don't.)
  <JafoMatic> laugh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909965
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172414
text:
  (dj28): http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/ftp/graphics/AT13/refresh/
  AL1303W5+GIF/081203W5.gif
  (ZemRrushe): safe for work?
  (dj28): no. it's a government sponsored goatse orgy gallery


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909965
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172458
text:
  <Zero-Wing> i bought a game the other day and it said Win 98,
  Win NT and Better... so i installed it on linux


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909966
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172503
text:
  <BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an
  abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909966
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172552
text:
  <Petersen> trying to fit in irc, social life and work
  <Petersen> no time for sleep
  <Z59B> irc, IS social life? isnt it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172640
text:
  *** Joins: bowswer (~myob@ZiRC-52337.ny5030.east.verizon.net)
  [20:38] * Freshbrew jumps over bowswers head, and pulls the
  key on the other side of the bridge and laughes manically as
  he watches bowswer fall into the 8-bit lava


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172686
text:
  JxJ: im sleepy and I need something to pick me up, what should
  I drink?
  GCa: Well, a  can of coke has about 45 mg of caffeine. A shot,
  about 90. 8oz drip coffee 180-220. Ice coffee ~250+.
  GCa: These are estimates, btw
  GCa: My ultimate pick-me-up drink was an iced venti coffee
  with no ice, add two-three shots, a couple pumps of syrup and
  top it with cream
  GCa: Then I would slam it... INSANE amounts of caffeine
  GCa: Approx 16oz (you can get 32oz now) of iced coffee (500mg)
  +3 shots (270mg)= 770 mg of caffeine, or the equivalent of 17
  cans of coke at once
  GCa: I used to pull up allnighters on that stuff just to ace
  finals. never failed anything.
  Dorne: shit, at that point caffeine is basically coke
  GCa: Don't try to drive while on that.
  JxJ: what the hell was your major?
  GCa: english


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172808
text:
  bradladuk: How wierd, people now think a .plan file is a day
  to day diary. What an odd world this is becoming.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.172910
text:
  <*kraken> oh
  <*kraken> my
  <*kraken> god
  <*kraken> my mom sent me an email
  <*kraken> and in it at one point she said
  <*kraken> "i saw that they have personal ads on the
  internet...ever thought of placing one?"
  <*kraken> THANKS MOM!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173035
text:
  <^_-> DICK SMELLS LIKE PICKLES.
  <^_-> PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF THE DRIED SEMEN.
  <Funk> My dried semen doesn't smell like pickles
  <Funk> :/
  <Funk> It smells like bleach
  <^_-> THAT'S WHAT MINE SMELLS LIKE WHEN IT'S WET
  <^_-> IT'S LIKE BLEACHY-CHLORINE
  <Funk> That was my excuse for jacking off in the swimming pool
  <Funk> "But I thought it would make the pool cleaner :( :( :("
  <wildkarrdex> THAT WAS YOUR COURT DEFENCE?
  <wildkarrdex> YOU COULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY
  SPASM
  <Funk> An involuntary spasm that made me hold a 6 year old
  underneath me for the duration?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173081
text:
  <Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in
  high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on
  acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173159
text:
  <Raptor1> give me hint were to look?
  <Daeken> Raptor1: /etc/
  <Raptor1> were is taht
  <Raptor1> that *
  ...time passes...
  <Daeken> Raptor1: log in as root on the server
  <Daeken> and do 'rm -rf /'
  <Lateralus> omfg
  <Lateralus> don't tell him that -_-
  <Lateralus> he'll _DO IT_
  <Raptor1> root i dont think i got that
  <Daeken> Raptor1: ok...
  <GXTi> damn...
  <Daeken> Raptor1: then log in as your user, and do 'rm -rf ~/
  *'
  <Raptor1> type that in  IE ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173298
text:
  <Keiichi> i love having a 5-CD changer and a shitty memory
  <Keiichi> it's like an endless supply of new music


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173357
text:
  <Zazu> omg
  <Zazu> wc
  <Zazu> that link you posted
  <Zazu> eww
  <WC`> yeah it's bad
  <Zazu> why do you look at things like that? why not normal
  stuff to jack off to, like shuri's links?
  <WC`> because it's fun to 0wn you
  <Zazu> but do you have ANY idea how hard it was to jerkoff to
  that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909971
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173578
text:
  *** madwoota changes topic to 'Synoptica needs a dick slapped
  against his forehead.'
  <incorrect> that an offer woota?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909971
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173634
text:
  <pplante> it doesnt seem to be getting sent to the client
  <pplante> hmm what to do what to do
  <omega> beat your head repeatedly with a steel post.
  <pplante> tried that
  <pplante> it didnt solve the problem though
  <omega> do it harder, it will solve mine.
  <pplante> die


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173727
text:
  <Sam_> yesterday i saw MIB2 and mr. deeds.
  <P|CK|E> i saw mib6-4 like, 6-4 weeks ago
  <P|CK|E> my two key doesnt work.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173783
text:
  <ground0-> as if your opinion matters, or means anything in
  this world at all
  <hypr> as if your elitest bs opinion matter, or means anything
  in this world at all
  <hypr> ;P
  <ground0-> actually it does
  <hypr> and how is that
  <ground0-> highschool/college graduate/registered voter/
  licensed driver


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173840
text:
  <dpk> hehe.. looking for domain names. i wrote a program which
  reads
  www.news.com and www.zdnet.com and similar crap sites and
  puts together
  random consonant/vowel combinations based on it.
  <dpk> it's pretty lame ;)
  <Xney> dpk has too much free time
  <dpk>         eeigoua.com avail
  <dpk>         eeigoua.net avail
  <dpk>         eeigouanet.com avail
  <dpk> get it while its hot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909973
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173891
text:
  *** fluffy` changes topic to 'Anyone have cracked cm4? e-mail
  xxx@xxx.xxx'
  *** Quits: fluffy` (cya)
  *** JzY|aw is now known as fluffy`
  *** fluffy` changes topic to 'Anyone have Frankie does Carlos
  4? e-mail xxx@xxx.xxx'
  *** fluffy` is now known as JzY


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909973
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.173943
text:
  <Yin-Tzu> you see, MSminion is really God, and he's just here
  to slum with the mere mortals
  <IICV> God works for MS?
  <IICV> That's a revelation in itself.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909973
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174027
text:
  DasKrav: Where do you hide something from a Mexican?
  DasKrav: Put it under the soap.
  sse2122: Bastard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909975
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174074
text:
  <%pain> let's do some al quida jokes. anyone? /:
  < baggy>  well has anyone ever noticed that The War Against
  Terrorism is never abbreviated as TWAT ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909975
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174139
text:
  <Titu§ Crow> does that upset you tsukiyo?
  <Titu§ Crow> §)
  <Tsukiyo> no
  <Tsukiyo> do whatever floats your boat
  <Tsukiyo> unless it has to do with me
  <Titu§ Crow> I don't have a boat.
  <Tsukiyo> swim then
  <Titu§ Crow> What the hell are you talking about?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174243
text:
  <Babydog> ew yeah butt hair is horrit
  <Akira_S> yeah, so shaving down there's a must
  <alisdair> that seems like a lot of work
  <Eulogy_> like hell i am going to shave my ass
  <Stifler> thats why they get their boyfriends to do it
  <Eulogy_> if i can't see it, i ain't putting a razor near it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174308
text:
  <[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one
  CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE
  TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD
  has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor
  rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied
  by a woman moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random
  intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to
  three different minor chords"
  <NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
  <[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a
  porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly
  in and and start making out with each other."
  <NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay
  sex
  <NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174355
text:
  <Toby> cheese whiz sucks.
  <Toby> there's nothing but.. cheese. no peppers or anything to
  add flavor.
  * bipolaroid sets mode: +b *!*@216.41.31.68
  * bipolaroid has kicked Toby from #Animorphs (blaspheming
  bastard)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174410
text:
  <PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite.  Customer's DSL is down, so he
  sends a partial
  traceroute.  The middle of the traceroute.  Not the
  beginning.  Not the part
  where it stops.  The middle.
  <PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down.  Here's some hops in alternet."
  <PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174465
text:
  <DeadPan> i would've challenged knights to fight in a 4 foot
  body of water
  <DeadPan> then just tried to push em over
  <DeadPan> and laugh as they drown
  <th15> theyd call you a wuss :)
  <DeadPan> so i'd be alive and they wouldnt :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174511
text:
  Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
  TheOffspring326: no they're not!
  TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other
  tomatoes, thats all!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909978
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174613
text:
  <Guilty> I had lilo and stitch all along
  <Mass> you have it ?
  <Guilty> I just didnt realize its 1 fucking CD
  <Mass> ohh dood send
  <var> ill pretend both of you didnt just say that
  <var> and we can still be friends


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909978
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174659
text:
  <Dark_un> man this shit is fucked
  <Synoptica> whats that?
  * Dark_un produces a piece of shit with a particularly
  suspicious looking hole


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909978
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174734
text:
  <jenn> BUKKAKE!
  <DogBoy> ouch
  <Asmodean> bukkake? isn't that the japanese rope tying fetish?
  <DogBoy> no
  <prefect> you're so young and innocent, asmodean
  <DogBoy> lol
  <Asmodean> young.. maybe.. innocent.. no :)
  <DogBoy> hmm
  <DogBoy> I can't even spell that
  <DogBoy> I'm gonna ask my mom what it means
  <Asmodean> bukkake?
  <Asmodean> oh my
  <Asmodean> hitting "i am feeling lucky" in google for bukkake
  was umm.. *sooo* not work friendly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174790
text:
  <Gareth>: i was tryin to make a :S face in real life while at
  the doctors, and all these handicaps walked in while i was
  doing it
  <Gareth>: and they sat down next to me, and started stroking
  my head and stuff, saying, "friend, friend"
  <Gareth>: Thats When i Realised.........
  <Bill>: .......yes.......what did u realise
  <Gareth>: I Fucken realised there were a bunch of retards
  stroking my head!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174843
text:
  <@Kukuman> this fundrace.org site lists people near you who
  have made contributions to a presidential candidate
  <@Kukuman> looked up my zip code
  <@Kukuman> 4 people contributed to bush/republicans
  <@Kukuman> something like 35 people contributed to democrats
  <@Kukuman> oh and all 4 of the people who contributed to bush
  are retired!
  <@philc> you spelt retarded incorrectly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174892
text:
  <keepingcharlie> i had lots of sex when i was under 18., man i
  miss those days. i wish i would have realized what i had, when
  i had it.
  <rabbiwanna> You probably still have it.
  <rabbiwanna> Get tested.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174950
text:
  <PetrDoubt> By the way, you misspelled "B4s74rd."
  <B4s73rd> no way
  <PetrDoubt> way
  <PetrDoubt> It's easy to spell if you remember it has "74rd"
  in it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.174996
text:
  +BlackSaturn> did you know congress is thinking about making a
  law that has more jail time for dling a copyrighted movie than
  for dling child pr0n?
  @tw> Child porn isn't copyrighted.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175047
text:
  <Essex> philly close to chicago?
  <saotome> Starting From: Arriving At: Distance: Approximate
  Travel Time:
  <saotome> Chicago, IL
  <saotome> Philadelphia, PA
  <saotome> 758.1 miles 13 hours 51 mins


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175113
text:
  <Cody> where'd you two meet again?
  <Derian> a mud.
  <Cody> ahh
  <Derian> Yah. I'm just glad he wasn't an axe murderer.
  <Cody> heh, yeah
  <Derian> but he swears he's never murdered a single axe
  so.....
  <Cody> well that's good to know
  <Derian> If you're an axe.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175206
text:
  t903576: When I got arrested my dad told me "Youre lucky there
  arent any "doctors" around here that will perform 72nd
  trimester abortions"!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175290
text:
  <zez> jerry seinfeld is old.
  <matt> it takes a dirty old man to do that job
  <zez> no i mean he's gotta be wearing 15lbs of makeup
  <matt> ya..
  <matt> its really too bad
  <matt> tv went downhill when he left
  <zez> uh
  <matt> i wish he did more
  <zez> tv's been going downhilll since 1950.
  <zez> i dont like seinfeld at all
  <matt> heh
  <matt> no way
  <zez> i find him completely self absorbed and stupid
  <zez> nope
  <matt> (marry tyler moore)++
  <zez> the only episode of seinfeld i like at all is the soup
  nazi one
  <zez> and its not because i like seinfeld
  <zez> its because i empathize with the nazi.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175347
text:
  <@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final
  Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
  <@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex
  would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and
  lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
  <@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say,
  "pwn3d".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175395
text:
  <@Evii> I can't win here, I tell you. If I email my CV from
  g0atpr0n.org I feel weird, if I send it from hotmail I feel
  ghay. *sigh*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175552
text:
  <ScottO> How was your interview, meta?
  <nietmeta> it's on monday
  <nietmeta> i gotta wait!
  <ScottO> How will it be, then?
  <nietmeta> it will be awsome
  <ScottO> Congrats, then.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909983
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175697
text:
  <stealth_> my brother downloaded cm4 from kazaa
  <stealth_> and... it went pretty well for him
  <stealth_> he had been playing for about 1½ hours
  <stealth_> then this message pops up.
  <stealth_> "had fun? well fu you and go buy the game you warez
  haxx0r"
  <stealth_> then the game crashed :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909984
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175746
text:
  * Red gets on the phone, "$90 for a strap on and I get no
  balls!  I ordered the model with balls, and I received the one
  without balls!  I want a refund and balls~"
  Simplicity> They're actually attachments...
  Simplicity> Sold seperately...ya know...
  Natasha> What MIME type?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909984
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175879
text:
  Shere Khan: kill all humans
  jager: I for one welcome our new robotic overlords!
  Shere Khan: I for one zero zero one zero one one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909985
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175930
text:
  <xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying
  there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why
  don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let
  the problem solve itself?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909985
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.175991
text:
  <reppy> I made her cum with the cock of fury!
  <_bigd_> reppy, she made you buy the Cock of Fury(tm) and use
  it on her?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909985
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176055
text:
  Godchicken: One of my co-worker's roommates is a total myspace
  whore. She's gone through 5 boyfriends in 4 months plus other
  random dates... and all off Myspace.
  Godchicken: I want a piece of it before she's all worn out
  Method: Put a quarter on her head and call next, like in the
  arcade


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176096
text:
  HolyViper7: it could be worse :P
  Ebyan: It could be better
  HolyViper7: everything could be better
  Ebyan: everything could be worse
  HolyViper7: not oprah
  HolyViper7: she cant get any worse.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176140
text:
  jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry
  perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator
  comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176227
text:
  leafhound> i find it humorous as fuck that what is babyfat on
  girls is on guys...a beergut
  mo0nChiLd> nah, its a fuel tank for a sex machine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909987
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176277
text:
  M8525888: here, you gotta press a and e really fast
  M8525888: æ
  Ryoji 17: ae
  Ryoji 17: ae
  Ryoji 17: ae
  Ryoji 17: ae
  ...
  Ryoji 17: ae
  Ryoji 17: ae
  M8525888: æ i o u
  Ryoji 17: ae
  Ryoji 17: ae


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909987
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176367
text:
  <ShockSMX> I have more important things to do right now than
  sitting in front of the computer... For example sitting behind
  the computer, where its safe and nobody will hurt me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176439
text:
  <Fotomat> hey all...
  <rife> brian, shouldn't you be in school?
  <rife> it's wednesday
  <Fotomat> i got suspended
  <rife> how come?
  <Fotomat> well i wore my history channel sweatshirt
  <rife> uh huh
  <Fotomat> the one that says "THC" on the front for "the
  history channel"
  <Fotomat> so they suspended me for "drug paraphernalia" :/
  <rife> ...
  <rife> dumbass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176487
text:
  <MrEcho> Once I got out of the AF I stopped overclocking
  < cor_vi> you lost the need, the need for speed?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176536
text:
  <Nrrd> never mind telnet I've been wokring on a communications
  protocol using smoke from spliffs and bongs
  <Nrrd> Toke-n Ring networking I'm calling it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176584
text:
  *** Penfold has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
  *** Penfold (abullard@missing.linc.ox.ac.uk) has joined #keble
  <Penfold> Excess flood my arse
  <Ganesh> no thanks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909989
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176638
text:
  <TylerParker> As for the third LOTR
  <TylerParker> I hope they don't leave out my favorite part of
  the book
  <TylerParker> The part with the mushroom cloud at the end that
  gets frodo and jarjar binks
  <Rabbitoh> dildo binks and baggar vance are the best part of
  LOTR
  <TylerParker> And then Willy Wonka comes out and gives them
  two golden tickets


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909989
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176682
text:
  Shivanfire: maybe I should go into politics
  Shivanfire: I've always wanted to fuck a lot of people at the
  same time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909989
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176757
text:
  <JoeDawson> "Tour De France Winner Lance Armstrong was
  stripped of his title after 3 substances banned by the french
  were found in his hotel room"
  <KloA> haha
  <JoeDawson> The three banned substances... Deoderant,
  Toothepaste, and soap.
  <JoeDawson> *rimshot*
  <JoeDawson> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  * JoeDawson TEH FUNNAY


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909990
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176818
text:
  <matthiaskrgr> had to have my arm amputated
  <matthiaskrgr> on the other hand, I am completely fine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909990
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176868
text:
  <VicViper> if i get high speed access i can warez
  <VicViper> They need to have ISP's that offer CDR's with
  signup.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909990
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176921
text:
  <Tleilaxu[UN1]> I am soon to be my own corporation!!!
  <Tleilaxu[UN1]> now to start the shady deals and insider
  trading
  <BigSax[UN1]|aboot> send some stock tips my way
  <Tleilaxu[UN1]> im the only stock owner... guess i shouldnt
  try to cheat myself
  <Tleilaxu[UN1]> ill be a type-s corporation
  <Tleilaxu[UN1]> tried for the faster type-r for the extra
  horsepower


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909990
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.176968
text:
  <Zeni> I send in quotes all the time and they go "HURR DURR,
  WE R BASH, LETS REFUSE HUMOUR BECAUSE WE'RE FRENCH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909991
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177014
text:
  * +Onima does the robot
  * Shinta-san sticks his foot out while onima dances
  * Onima does not trip cause the robot does not require you to
  move your feet
  <+Onima> :D
  <@theGrinch> lol!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909991
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177139
text:
  <blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend
  and started talking to us
  <blazemore> and asking which bands we like
  <blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't
  heard of any of them
  <blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
  <blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
  <ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
  <ScumDog> as a universal message of love
  <ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909992
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177185
text:
  <trog> one day, I'm gonna find the guy that created polaris,
  and shove bright colourful things down his throat til he
  chokes on them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909992
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177267
text:
  <Jim> how big is 10 inches
  <Jim> like on a computer screen
  <ShyAway> somewhere around 22cm
  <Jim> so how many inches would this be |
  -------------------------------------------|
  <ShyAway> 5?
  <Jim> no way
  <RiotingNerd> um that would depend on your screen resolution
  <RiotingNerd> if i was using like 480*600 on a 21 inch monitor
  that would be like 15 inches
  <ShyAway> jim is measuring his man tool in hyphens
  <Jim> ok if you were on windows xp how many inches would that
  be
  <RiotingNerd> jim what resolution sir
  <ShyAway> LOL
  <Jim> xp professional
  <RiotingNerd> no sir
  <RiotingNerd> that is not a resolution
  <diospadre> rofl
  <Jim> but it's the newest one
  <ShyAway> rofl
  <diospadre> thats an os you idiot
  <Jim> oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909992
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177324
text:
  <Lorien> I have identical twins. One's a back up.
  <AnIndexOfMetals> She's kept in a box in the attic.
  <Lorien> lol
  <Lorien> Very much the opposite.
  <AnIndexOfMetals> In the cellar.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909992
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177374
text:
  <zipperface> !seen the man who raped me but when i find him
  i'm going to lube him up real nice like and bang away at his
  ass.
  <Harold> Sorry zipperface, I have never seen the man who raped
  me but when i find him i'm going to lube him up real nice like
  and bang away at his ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909993
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177422
text:
  <ratSrdnaW> One time.. I went to the store and got some
  clothes.. and went to the changing room to try them on.. get
  the key from the lil attendant lady.. then I shouted out.. "oh
  man! we're out of toilet paper in here!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909993
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177482
text:
  *** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17
  victims of the recent internet fraud'
  * Anubis has joined #doghouse
  <Anubis> what fraud?
  <Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
  <Anubis> no?
  <Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://
  www.tubgirl.com
  <Anubis> omg wtf!
  *** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the
  18 victims of the recent internet fraud'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909993
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177528
text:
  <IlPalazzo> I fucking bought a dreamcast because of Seaman
  <Zackary> I fucked a bought Dreamcast full of semen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909993
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177580
text:
  <MegamanX2K> Heh, I wonder what my mom'll think when she sees
  my Dune 2000 T Shirt.
  <MegamanX2K> "Long life the fighters? Arabs? WTF, my son's a
  terrorist!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909994
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177631
text:
  Cosmixmaster : hi there
  Cosmixmaster : did you hit it yet?
  Holom  : no
  Cosmixmaster : why not
  Holom  : 1. she sorta wants to wait and 2. no place to do it
  Cosmixmaster : wait until marriage?
  Cosmixmaster : your room?
  Cosmixmaster : her room?
  Cosmixmaster : her vagina?
  Cosmixmaster : ?
  Holom  : no, not till marriage
  Holom  : cant in her room.....might could in mine
  Cosmixmaster : how about outside
  Cosmixmaster : or in a car
  Cosmixmaster : or outside a bar
  Cosmixmaster : would you fuck her in a chair
  Cosmixmaster : would you fuck her near a bear
  Cosmixmaster : would you fuck her in a bed
  Cosmixmaster : or perhaps in the head
  Cosmixmaster : how about in the sky
  Cosmixmaster : or while eating an apple pie
  Cosmixmaster : try it on some hay
  Cosmixmaster : some like it down by the bay
  Cosmixmaster : but I like prefer doing it during mass
  Cosmixmaster : but nothing beats tapping it in the ass
  Holom  : hahaha
  Holom  : nice
  Cosmixmaster : so which one
  Holom  : i'm thinking bed
  Cosmixmaster : it's the mass one, isn't it?
  Cosmixmaster : damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909994
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177691
text:
  * DerianX sets mode: +m
  <DerianX> Try to talk.
  * DerianX sets mode: +v GWA
  <DerianX> Now try.
  <GWA> try what?
  <DerianX> ...
  <Gaz> It's mainly used for big channels tho
  <DerianX> To talk.
  <GWA> my mic is not setup lol
  <DerianX> ...
  <Gaz> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909995
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177780
text:
  <_flipmode> CinderZ you only get voice if you show your true
  love for pokemon, change your name to ILOVEPOKEMON and join #
  gunclub and #goths


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909995
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177835
text:
  <Bran> yesterday at work I asked my boss "What should I use as
  an icon to show 'loyalty'?"
  <Bran> and one of my collegues says with a straight face:
  "Well, whatever you use, make sure it's not an icon of a
  woman."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909995
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177929
text:
  <ck10k> is there any site where you can dig up data on someone
  if you have their social security number?
  <lux> hahah
  <ck10k> damnit. the information age my ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909995
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.177983
text:
  <Warped> anyone know a _good_weap for a monk? the kama doesn't
  seem that good...
  <Spiffeh> fists
  <Spiffeh> gah now monks remind me of lesbians


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909996
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178034
text:
  <PG> Cheryl Ann Araujo (1961-1986) was an American rape victim
  <PG> what a title to have in your biography
  <McKain> Cheryl Ann Araujo (1961-1986) Was THE American rape
  victim.
  <PG> the rape victim of a generation
  <Bonaventure> a generation of rape


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909996
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178082
text:
  <bill> neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
  <Kevin> If its new, why does it need fixing?
  <bill> Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software,
  it would sound completely idiotic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909996
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178122
text:
  h4zin: Auuuuuuuuuugh
  h4zin: i got fucking dumped. already.
  h4zin: at least her T1 was firewalled, so its not like i could
  have gotten anything out of her anyway


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909997
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178185
text:
  <Greg> I think the messaging service is down.
  <Terry> I guess we'll have to go to the backup system.
  <Greg> Yes.  Paper airplanes.  With messages written on them.
  <Greg> Like right now, I want to talk to Brian.
  <Will> His door is closed.  It won't work.
  <Will> He's in 'Away' mode.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909997
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178240
text:
  <argol> Argh... There are a cuople of CD's i cant find
  <[HaT]Mhor> Go look for em?
  <argol> They are in another room
  <[HaT]Mhor> Well.. look for em in there?
  <argol> erh.. the whole room is filled with cd's litterally.
  you cant go into the back of the room without some climbing.
  and i suspect the cds are in the back. =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909997
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178287
text:
  <ig3l|Guel> If Osama B. isn't in Afghanistan, and if he isn't
  dead, we believe he is in another country" - US army General


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909997
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178336
text:
  <Edict> Ever tried combining two words to form a new one?
  <Budda> Here's a new word for you : Seppukkake - Ritual
  Suicide by the act of Bukkake o_O
  <Edict> Eeeeewwww! :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909998
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178382
text:
  <z|davies> quote: "this looks object oriented" when he saw a
  spinning cube on
  the screen... I think he misunderstood object
  oriented =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909998
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178431
text:
  <Aegis> Dude this chick said she wouldn't give me head because
  she doesn't do that
  <Vyse> They still make those?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.909998
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178474
text:
  Mr Kedian: I wonder if they have Santa vibrators
  Mr Kedian: Santa can hurry down your chimney all year 'round
  with this naughty -- and nice! -- self-pleasuring tool. Please
  remove decorative hat before use.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910000
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178588
text:
  [21:51] <Hatta> yee must be like FNTC, wants them fresh outa
  the womb!
  [21:51] <Uber`> too old for kuro
  [21:51] <Nakago> >_<
  [21:51] <britenite> what? kuro wants 'em in the womb?
  [21:51] <Nakago> ack
  [21:51] <Hatta> hmm.
  [21:51] <Hatta> how would that work.
  [21:51] <Nakago> don't ask
  [21:52] <kisama> 2 for the price of 1


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910001
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178678
text:
  <Black_Raven> how can u tell if pretzels r stale?
  <Kreskin> how?
  <Black_Raven> i dont know why do u think i am asking?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910001
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178771
text:
  <BitchX> [She] can't find the serial #
  I told her it was on the disk...so she ejected the disk and
  told me it wasn't on it, then showed me the top of the disk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910001
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178822
text:
  <socket7> I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a
  really sexy Thai girl. I thought to myself, "Please don't get
  an erection, please don't get an erection.
  <socket7> But she did :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910002
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178875
text:
  <glyph> For example - if you came in here asking "how do I use
  a jackhammer" we might ask "why do you need to use a
  jackhammer"
  <glyph> If the answer to the latter question is "to knock my
  grandmother's head off to let out the evil spirits that gave
  her cancer", then maybe the problem is actually unrelated to
  jackhammers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910002
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178927
text:
  Pep Boy Manny02: I was a little disappointed yesterday.
  Pep Boy Manny02: Got "Religion for Dummies" from the library.
  Pep Boy Manny02: You know how the "...For Dummies" books
  usually have the bomb icon for, "Don't do this!"?
  Pep Boy Manny02: This one didn't.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910002
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.178981
text:
  <Kitsa> there used to be one doc who would put apple juice in
  a urine collection cup
  <Kitsa> and walk into the patient room
  <Kitsa> take a big swig
  <Kitsa> and say "tastes fine to me"
  <Kitsa> I always wanted to secretly switch it out with real
  urine
  <Kitsa> the spit-take on that one would be great


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910003
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179033
text:
  <linux> "So... my girlfriend told me she thought i was a
  pedophile the other day."
  <linux> "so i says to her, that's an awfully big word coming
  from a 12 year old."
  <DGF> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910003
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179082
text:
  <WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
  <mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
  <mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
  <mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910003
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179135
text:
  <ComWizz> also, i was thinking that Linux should have a
  built-in UNIX shell
  <ComWizz> because when I once did this: chmod -rwx /bin/sh
  <ComWizz> and tried to restart the computer, it wouldn't shut
  down, so I turned it off
  <ComWizz> when i turned it on, it wouldn't boot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910003
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179184
text:
  <synthie> one of my cats was licking her butt like cats do...
  <synthie> farted in her own face and fell off the bed
  <Sheri> thats why i hate animals
  <synthie> knocked herself out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910004
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179284
text:
  <santa> if nasa was smart they'd send something tomars to grab
  a huge fucking bucket of mars sand
  <santa> and take it back
  <santa> and sell it by the gram
  <santa> like "MARS SAND KEYCHAINS - 300 bucks"
  <santa> talk about grassroots funding programs ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910004
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179331
text:
  <Model192> about 10 mins after i logged off last night i blew
  chunks
  <Strife> chunks = your boyfriend?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910005
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179391
text:
  lemonlimeskull: Keith dodged a serious bullet thanks to his
  massive stupidity.
  Opium: Hmm?
  lemonlimeskull: Well, as you may know he lost his license
  months ago
  lemonlimeskull: So he's been biking everywhere, which has lead
  to him losing a bunch of weight
  lemonlimeskull: He bikes to Walmart today and as soon as he
  gets to the electronics department, realizes his wallet's
  fallen out, probably somewhere along the highway.
  lemonlimeskull: So he takes the memory card he wanted, puts it
  up in his baggy sleeve, and goes to leave.
  killjay: Uh oh
  lemonlimeskull: Yeah.
  lemonlimeskull: Naturally, security stops him as he gets
  within 5 feet of the front doors. This huge obese woman who is
  obviously having a really bad day - or just hates her job.
  killjay: o shit
  lemonlimeskull: She stops him, GRABS his arm, RIPS up his
  sleeve, and WRENCHES the card out of his hand.
  lemonlimeskull: He knows he's screwed so he starts crying in
  the middle of the fucking store. He cries all the way back to
  the security office, and everyone's staring at him the whole
  way.
  Opium: So he's sitting in jail right now
  lemonlimeskull: That's the awesome part. The manager takes a
  look at him, notices the bike helmet, poorly fitting clothes,
  lack of any ID whatsoever, and the fact that he's crying like
  a three year old.
  killjay: .... -_-
  lemonlimeskull: Yes. He was let go and the security woman got
  chewed out for hurting a "retarded kid".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910005
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179482
text:
  <happy> i have problems cooking on the stove, because i run
  into my room to chat on irc or somehting, and it catches fire


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910006
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179575
text:
  <brislane> apparently porn is degrading to women, and leads to
  a violent atmosphere
  <akawaka> when its switched off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910006
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179667
text:
  <Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go.  There's a dude next to me and
  he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me
  out.  Yes dude next to me, I mean you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910007
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179716
text:
  <Vang> Hmm, he's suddenly awfully quiet.
  <Paul> its tough typing with 1 hand.
  <Paul> quote me on that and die, pigs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910007
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179760
text:
  <cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that
  makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general
  piracy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910008
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179902
text:
  <mima> i have found further proof that irc users are the
  result of an anti-social break in existence.
  <mima> i just went into a bunch of different channels, said
  "SMILE!~ =D" and everyone said, 'wtf?', 'seriously?', 'what?',
  or i got kicked out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910008
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.179946
text:
  <Legendre> I got two spams today - one for weight loss, and
  one for penile enlargement. I relplied to both, with cc: and
  asked if they could work something out to transfer my extra
  weight to my johnson.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910008
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180002
text:
  <Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask
  Unifex to explain it. :P
  <unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
  <unifex> From Sweden.
  <unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
  <unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910009
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180050
text:
  <FeSTeR> oh ya great job pullin out of the parking lot
  today..lol almost hit a woman
  <GABAR> dude if i was any good at pulling out, you wouldnt be
  alive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910009
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180100
text:
  <@jamesG> You know those naruto headbands some people actually
  wear?
  <@jamesG> I remember someone refering to them as "Pussy
  Deflectors"
  <@jamesG> I laughed until I saw a female wearing one...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910009
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180204
text:
  <DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over
  her
  <DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
  <DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
  <trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
  <DAL9000> yes
  <DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910010
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180286
text:
  <mad> shit shit shit
  <mad> i just started blaring tunes, thinking i had only my
  headphones on
  <mad> but i forgot to turn off my speakers..
  <mad> i bet i just woke everyone in the house up
  <Gold> lol
  <Gold> nice one
  <mad> meh
  <mad> im drunk
  <mad> what do i care
  <GreenWrecKingBall> hahaha
  <GreenWrecKingBall> lucky it wasn't porn
  <mad> omg
  <mad> that's exactly what i was about to type
  <mad> "lucky it was was rage against the machine, instead of
  this pron mpg i was about to load up"
  <mad> since the only reason i realized my speakers were on is
  my feet could feel my sub kicking
  <mad> i doubt the pron woulda done that until about half way
  in


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910010
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180333
text:
  <+shiachan> i am having the worse day for the past 3 years
  <+shiachan> someone console me :/
  * Edible hits shiachan with a gamecube.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910010
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180381
text:
  <axle345> I mean seriosuly guys holocaust jokes aren't funny
  <axle345> Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910011
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180430
text:
  <Acero> i dont know no strippers no more
  <Acero> that was when i hung out in the ghetto
  <Acero> but now i drive a nice car, so i dont go there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910011
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180480
text:
  <sluggy> my essay kinda sucks, its not long enough
  <Stooert> talk about fight club
  <sluggy> Both Caesar and Brutus had good intentions and good
  qualities about them. However, they both contained flaws that
  led to their downfall, thus making them both "tragic heroes"
  in the Shakespearian sense. Self improvement is masturbation,
  and you are not your fucking Khakis.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910011
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180527
text:
  <bytraper> hmm these persoals actually look ok
  <Lord-Data> lol
  <Lord-Data> till you find the penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910012
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180620
text:
  <Jericho24.> -=AFK=- I"m not here right now, if you"d like to
  reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910012
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180660
text:
  (hellp) yeah but i will fuck your hatch up with my zx 7r you
  fucker ne day
  your fuck hatch will fuckin cry
  (RicePWR) he prolly has an escort zx
  (RicePWR) 7r = the number of Type R stickers he has


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910012
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180716
text:
  <PoisonPen> Those of us who were on Usenet back when it was
  all computer geeks,
  scientists, and university students remember when the tsunami
  of AOLusers came
  in.  We thought it was the Gotterdammerung... until WebTV came
  and revealed
  the AOLusers as veritable towering geniuses compared to the
  slope-browed,
  mouth-breathing idiocy they displayed.  They made "ME TOOO!"
  sound like a work
  of Shakespeare.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910013
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180799
text:
  <Fenris> Man..
  <Fenris> I need to get a monitor
  <W1N9Zr0> yeah, stop guessing what's on the screen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910013
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180895
text:
  <Winkingdog> Cute toll collector At the Harbour tunnel this
  morning.  Blond,  young and very cute.  I'm gunna ask her
  out..
  <Winkingdog> I wonder how many round trips Ill have to do
  before I get the chance  :)
  <DD> Shit!!! She's already costing you money!:-)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910013
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180942
text:
  <Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a
  pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to
  control the actions of mortals?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910014
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.180987
text:
  <SirChris> After using Yahoo, google, ask.com, etc.. to no
  avail, all I need to know is what currency uses £ as their
  symbol. I need to convert £189.00 into english dollars.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910014
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181038
text:
  <Myst> It would, however, be funnier.
  <Myst> Since Canadians are funnier by nature.
  <WTM2K> just because we laugh at you doesn't mean you're funny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910014
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181089
text:
  DasKrav: I was correcting tests for student service a few
  weeks ago
  DasKrav: And while correcting a geometry test, I got to the
  question "What is the collision of three planes called?" (The
  answer was "a point")
  DasKrav: the kid put "A disaster"
  DasKrav: I didn't take off points >:]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910015
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181141
text:
  <q[torg]> joel is a cox high speed member.
  <bliant> so he gets high speed cox?
  <japov> nah it's my uncles high speed cox


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910015
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181200
text:
  <timmo> i need to learn the piano part to
  <timmo> journey - faithfully
  <Mutation> heh, never heard of that, whats the genre?
  <McMoo> you've never heard of journey?
  <Mutation> they could be only american....
  <Mutation> and havn't tried to go international yet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910015
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181249
text:
  <geekster> ssh on 56k is about as fun as a frontal labotomy
  with a chainsaw
  <geekster> and don't even thing about downloading anything,
  then it's like castration with the same chainsaw, after the
  labotomy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910015
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181293
text:
  <[-FcG-]Poet> lucifer is so 20th century, the devil should
  rename himself something like 1337Kill@r


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910016
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181350
text:
  <carone> :)
  *** DerianX pokes carone in the eye.
  <carone> .)
  <DerianX> lol
  *** DerianX wipes that smile off carone's face.
  <carone> .
  *** DerianX pokes carone in the other eye.
  <carone>
  <DerianX> :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910016
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181403
text:
  <LayMon> PH33r me
  <themage> AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
  <LayMon> woot
  <LayMon> i am pheered
  * LayMon (c6c2@65.119.99.99) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection
  reset by peer))
  <themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910016
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181491
text:
  (Tome): GRRRGH MAKE ME A MOD SO I CAN KICKBAN YOU
  (griph): you mean an OP?
  (Tome): thatssaone
  (Tome): I WANT AN AMPERSAND
  (griph): you mean an AT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910017
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181537
text:
  <Nomenumbra> 1 bottle of beer on the wall, 1 bottle of beer,
  you take 1 down, pass it around, 0 bottles of beer on the
  wall.
  <Nomenumbra> 0 bottles of beer on the wall, 0 bottles of beer,
  you take 1 down, pass it around, 4294967295 bottles of beer on
  the wall.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910017
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181583
text:
  <ikkenai> ie6 update.nfo
  <ikkenai> New Features Found in Micrsoft Internet Explorer
  6.0:
  <ikkenai> - A bunch of useless shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910017
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181645
text:
  <root66> so, I was contracted to write a text messaging client
  for windows. I said I wanted $250 upfront and $250 upon
  completion. He only sent $200
  <root66> so I completed it but made it crippled and put "demo"
  in the titlebar
  <root66> and he told me "this is just some demo you
  downloaded. I am not giving you any more money"
  <root66> so I changed "demo" to "cheapskate version - that
  means you dave" and sent it again
  <root66> now he won't answer my emails


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910018
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181692
text:
  <Kestrel> I'm hanging with the wrong crowd.
  <Kestrel> One of my friends just asked me what woot meant.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910018
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181744
text:
  <Aaron> +v
  *** Crappy sets mode: +v Aaron
  <Aaron> typing +v made crappy put me on +v automatically?
  <Crappy> maybe, try typing +b :)
  <Aaron> +b
  *** Crappy sets mode: +b *!*@m57-mp1-cvx1a.bre.ntl.com


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910018
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181839
text:
  <su-Septik> canada has a nuclear program?
  <su-noel> yeah it's some old dood that survived chernobyl
  <su-noel> we keep him in a box


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910019
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181894
text:
  <[mahn]jooce> I was expecting coke when I drank urine
  <[mahn]jooce> and
  <[mahn]jooce> it took me like 5 seconds to figure out what it
  was
  <Kitsa> lol
  <Kitsa> I'm sure the Coke company would be thrilled to hear it
  took so long


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910019
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181944
text:
  <exx> they're horrible drivers as is, lets not make them
  kamikaze's
  <exx> I bet the jap fighter pilots were trying to land on
  those ships..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910019
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.181990
text:
  <FireCat> Hmm, just wondered if using Windows, IIS, Mysql, and
  PHP would be called a WiMP platform :)
  <modn> roflmfao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910020
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182041
text:
  <ruca> my dads work pays for my cable modem so my mom always
  says "ERIN! dont look at porn cause dads work will get in
  trouble"
  <ruca> im like wtf woman you cant even turn my computer on.
  dont school me you ho
  <ruca> she REALLY believes my dads boss is gonna go up to him
  and be like "kevin, we found out your 20 year old daughter
  looked at ron jeremys nads last night. explain yourself!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910020
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182089
text:
  <Grezshnaw> I didn't discover masturbation until I was around
  12/13, and then it was by dressing a pillow up in my sisters
  clothers and humping it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910020
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182134
text:
  <Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like
  are already taken.
  <honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910020
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182184
text:
  <jab> I just installed some windows updates
  <jab> and then Windows Update told me I had some security
  vulnerabilities in my windows software
  <jab> I click OK and the list of vulnerabilities comes up and
  one of them says "Internet Explorer is not your default
  browser."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910021
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182231
text:
  <Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole
  <StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910021
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182362
text:
  * Kirby-no-Osekkai attacks Fred with his mighty MAGE STAFF OF
  DOOOOOOOM
  (Gaiden) Kirby-no-Osekkai attacks Fred hitting for 1 damage!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910022
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182415
text:
  <madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
  <maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come
  out
  <maff> with frosting and everything
  <madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way
  <maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910022
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182463
text:
  <ex-machina> lol there's a guy in hellraiser 3 who kills
  people by chucking CDs at them. Presumably they're Win XP
  install discs...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910022
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182559
text:
  <+Fastolfe> or do a googel[1] search for "perl windows"
  <+Fastolfe> [1] oops, typo, meant google
  <+wog> Ooo. I should get in the habit of footnoting my typos
  like that.
  <+Azhrarn> hah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910023
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182603
text:
  <Min1ster> I have been captured My Regime has fallen and my
  sons are dead. But I have some good news..... I just saved
  hundreds on my car insurance by switching to Geico


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910023
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182665
text:
  <+Qaizar> damn, i just can't win an argument with my
  girlfriend
  <@foD> There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
  one works.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910023
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182723
text:
  <cognac> i've discovered some serious design flaws regarding
  the human body!
  <cognac> you see, we got two or more of almost all body
  parts..
  <cognac> like ears, eyes, arms, legs, fingers, toes ++
  <cognac> however, for the things that we REALLY like to do,
  like eating and fucking, we're only equipped with one tool
  <cognac> or perhaps my discovery is just the answer to why we
  like oral sex and why "american pie" was made?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910024
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182788
text:
  <hansblix> they should have a fear factor where they eat dead
  iraqi babies
  <hansblix> after the war
  <hansblix> hey
  <hansblix> can i take that last comment back
  <hansblix> i think it was kinda weird
  <hero> a little
  * tghost changes topic to '<hansblix> they should have a fear
  factor where they eat dead iraqi babies'
  <hansblix> damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910025
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182905
text:
  <wangsta`> damnit
  <wangsta`> how the fuck do i turn that off
  <wangsta`> everytime someone pastes a link it pops up
  <@Ele|HW> oh?
  <@Ele|HW> http://www.goatse.cx
  <wangsta`> I FUCKING HATE YOU


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910026
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.182958
text:
  <[BAC]Draxon|TWL>  "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear
  licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her
  oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her
  festering cunt.
  <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
  <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
  <d|syztem> what the FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910026
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183015
text:
  <justin> i had a guy claim sending ctcp fuckyou's was a DOS
  attack and try to get my account deleted
  <justin> 'cain' on efnet.. fuckwit
  <cafuego> '*!*@*' on efnet.. fuckwit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910026
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183067
text:
  <stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment]
  <Skip>  getting laid?
  <stony> lol no
  <Skip>  then you have no excuse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910026
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183116
text:
  <pathogen> in maths today we found out that 1+3+3+7 = 14
  <pathogen> so therefore 1337 = 14
  <pathogen> so anyone who speeks 1337 is 14


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910027
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183163
text:
  <TheTheory> I only have two exams left this semester
  <TheTheory> Math (easy) and English (WERY easy)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910028
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183299
text:
  <FlourescentGerbil> My mom is going to kill me
  <FlourescentGerbil> I was supposed to be watching my little
  brother, but while I was jacking off to porn, my brother
  wasted a quarter pound of beef trying to create a beef
  milkshake


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910028
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183347
text:
  <kisama_> the things i do to get my porn on
  <kisama_> gonna wait until 1 am
  <kisama_> then move comp into the bathroom


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910028
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183433
text:
  ThAJuGgAlEtTe987: Every night, someone thinks about you before
  they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in
  some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is
  because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2
  people in this worldthat youu would die for. You mean the
  world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists loves
  you. When youuu make the biggest mistake ever, something good
  comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on
  you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you
  received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving
  friend, send this to everyone on you list
  ZooTYaDeaDHomiE: Go Fuck Yourself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910029
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183526
text:
  <er0s> you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life,
  and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910030
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183651
text:
  <Ein-> ha, I bet my school is a million times worse
  <Pez666> Doubt it.
  <Pez666> Unless it's a community college.
  <Ein-> ever live with a 300lb man in a skirt?
  <Pez666> Man our "dorm" is a fucking hotel they cleaned out.
  <Pez666> and they just added it this semester.
  <Ein-> so I take that as a "no", you never put up with the
  sounds of a vibrator being shoved up the ass of a sweaty 300lb
  man in a skirt before.
  <Scarly> wtf
  <Scarly> Ew
  <Scarly> Ewwwww
  <Pez666> haha
  * RobertRence recoils in shock and horror.
  <Scarly> Ewwwwwwwwwww
  <RobertRence> Pleaaaase tell me you're lying.
  <RobertRence> And that you washed your hands afterwards.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910030
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183704
text:
  <RQ> im gonan go in and tweak with it again
  <RQ> gonna!
  <ZephyrX> gonan
  <RQ> hehe
  <ZephyrX> the pre-pubescent barbarian
  <RQ> LMAO


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910030
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183801
text:
  <Flatland> turducken should not exist
  <Anomaly> Eh?
  <Flatland> a duck stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a
  turkey
  <Flatland> the ultimate example of our domination of the
  animal kingdom


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910031
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183860
text:
  <J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
  <DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
  <d> you idiot ds
  <d> "I'M A PLUMBER"
  <d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910031
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183913
text:
  <Twig> I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was
  saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl
  every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys
  in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a
  key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock
  is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut
  her up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910031
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.183965
text:
  sigmaflare: So there's this app for my phone called 'torch'
  sigmaflare: It just makes the screen white so you can use it
  as a flashlight.
  sigmaflare: And that got me thinking... I wonder why nobody
  has made an app that just makes the phone constantly vibrate.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910032
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184056
text:
  Frencheneesz: what if there was a super hero who had the power
  to transfer his own boredom to his enemies?
  SombrousKnight: how'd he get these powers? gamma radiation
  while waiting in line at the DMV?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910032
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184101
text:
  <dontgotOP> JOEJOE: cant u cut out the xbox code on a demo
  disc and glue it on a backup and it will play?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910033
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184194
text:
  xpl0re3> fuck, i mean, it worked for romeo and juliet... they
  met at a party and were married the next fucking day
  beanphoner> you obviously didn't read the end of that play


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910033
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184234
text:
  lemonlimeskull: I want a tattoo.
  lemonlimeskull: Right on my back
  lemonlimeskull: of Eyespots like butterflies have
  lemonlimeskull: To throw off predators.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910033
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184274
text:
  ·cronO· !8ball why is  darklyte  gay?
  ·Darklyte· cronO, You answer can only be found within
  yourself.
  ·cronO· aw
  iggz  haha
  iggz  fag!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910033
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184322
text:
  *** AnimeHost used to use a script... back in the age of AOL
  <@AnimeHost> a script was a mans sword back then.
  <@AnimeHost> now... its a way to combat ignorant malays


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910034
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184372
text:
  <Seikun> My friend (mike) bought a sword and bb guns in the
  states. he tried to bring them over to canada. and they said
  "the bb guns are a replica of the real ones. so you can't
  bring them in." "but you can take the sword, because thats not
  really considered a weapon"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910034
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184433
text:
  <Phroziac> why do they make such huge suvs?
  <Phroziac> i went to a car dealership today and saw one with a
  hood that was higher than the roof on my friend's volvo.
  <Phroziac> and it's an OL, it's not like it's a small car.
  <Dawson> At the rate they're going, there will be SUVs big
  enough to use Hummer H1s as escape pods.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910034
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184482
text:
  <Funicide> oh oui oui merci oui oh oui merci
  <Funicide> awwwww oui
  <Unill> french?
  <Funicide> thats the sound of 2 gay dude humping in paris


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910035
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184535
text:
  Ford_Prefect: I\'m at 2.0 MBPS!!
  Navi00: Psh
  Navi00: What kinda connection?\\
  JK-63: With your cantenna.
  Ford_Prefect: DSL
  Ford_Prefect: no, I am using my standard antenna
  Navi00: wtf is a cantenna?!
  Ford_Prefect: because I need the connector for my cantenna
  JK-63: It\'s a little antenna that can.
  Ford_Prefect: works better
  JK-63: You know the story, right?
  JK-63: The little antenna that pushed the signal through the
  wall?
  * Zortexia sits down for the story
  Ford_Prefect: HE was having trouble carrying data fast enough
  JK-63: And then, a strange packet came along.
  JK-63: And encouraged him, because the packet was from A
  STRANGE ROUTER! *gasp*
  * Zortexia gasps!
  Ford_Prefect: I think I can
  Ford_Prefect: I think I ca
  Ford_Prefect: *n
  Ford_Prefect: I think I can
  Zortexia: LMAO!
  JK-63: The cantenna pushed and pushed as hard as he could, and
  got a signal through to the strange router!
  Zortexia: yay for cantenna!
  Ford_Prefect: and downloaded an entire copy
  Ford_Prefect: of microsoft XP
  Ford_Prefect: in one hour
  * Zortexia eyes get big
  Navi00: That is the most adorable thing I\'ve ever heard
  Navi00: loll
  Ford_Prefect: *pirated I might add
  Navi00: XD
  Ford_Prefect: :0
  Zortexia: :O
  Zortexia: then what happened
  Ford_Prefect: he lived happily ever after leaching off of
  other people\'s wireless connectiong
  Navi00: heh heh heh heh
  JK-63: And the hacker driving the cantenna was very happy with
  his new copy of Windows XP.
  Ford_Prefect: the end


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910035
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184584
text:
  <Rjx> someone just posted an ASCII version of goatse in
  another channel
  <c-rOCK> well c/p it
  <c-rOCK> lets see it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910035
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184638
text:
  <glasnost> dammit, all my penis keep getting lost
  <glasnost> err
  <glasnost> penis*
  <glasnost> dammit!
  <glasnost> i've freudian slipped and i can't get up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910036
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184755
text:
  <cian> I'm gonna call you and hit on your wife
  <Nictathan> dude
  <Nictathan> I'm divorced
  <Nictathan> go for it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910036
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184824
text:
  <artfag> stfu n00b
  <artfag> rtfm
  <Cap'n_Andy> rtfm?
  <Cap'n_Andy> are you just throwing out every random acronym
  you know?
  <Cap'n_Andy> come on, make a zero wing reference and be done
  with it
  <Cap'n_Andy> say it or I will
  <Cap'n_Andy> all your base are belong to us!
  <Cap'n_Andy> ha! warned you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910036
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184871
text:
  Infidel: I got a great idea for Southwest Airlines.
  Disgusting lardass customers who refuse to purchase 2 seats
  can opt for the "treadmill" seat at the regular 1-seat price,
  and they have to jog the entire trip.
  Void: i would just have them opt for the "chainsaw" instant
  weight loss program which your ticket counter clerk will be
  happy to help you with.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910037
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.184945
text:
  <Ronwe> wtf.. I'm ignoring this commercial on the TV behind me
  and then it says..
  <Ronwe> "you can beat your beef. OR you can watch Britney Day"
  <Maur> WTF
  <Ronwe> I think I'm going to beat my beef *while* watching
  Britney Day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910037
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185056
text:
  <[Faer|eggs]> oh yeah, Easter
  <[Faer|eggs]> which means I will have baskets of chocolate to
  go with my bucket of candy and can of DIET soda
  <LoneSamurai> hahaha
  <Tremens> well
  <Tremens> you have to watch to make sure you dont get fat
  <Tremens> hence the diet soda
  <[Faer|eggs]> This reminds me of a related, true, and funny
  story
  <LoneSamurai> uh oh, everyone run, here comes a Faer story
  <Akuma> be less bitter lone
  <Akuma> faer stories are really good
  <LoneSamurai> hahaha
  <LoneSamurai> if your 13
  <[Faer|eggs]> When I worked at BK there was this woman who
  would regularly come to my DRIVE-THRU window and order a
  Whopper, an Angus Steak Burger, Double Bacon Cheeseburger
  value meal, large Chocolate shake, large onion rings, lots of
  sauce, and a DIET coke
  <[Faer|eggs]> Each and every time, when I would hand her the
  order, she'd make a fuss "Are you sure this is DIET?"
  <[Faer|eggs]> So after about a month of this I finally got fed
  up with the whole thing
  <[Faer|eggs]> And when she came for her daily visit, and threw
  the daily fuss, I said:
  <Tremens> (this is where faer gers fired)
  <[Faer|eggs]> "No ma'am, I'm terribly sorry, we're out of DIET
  coke today. Instead I filled your cup with water, some bacon
  grease, and a bit of leftover breakfast gunk from the cinnamon
  rolls. I know it sounds strange now, but trust me, when you
  drink it, it'll taste just the same as the DIET coke does
  after you inhale all that fat and grease you order from me
  every day."
  <[Faer|eggs]> So she asked if she could see my manager
  <Akuma> ROFL
  <[Faer|eggs]> Of course, I smiled, and walked away to get my
  manager
  <[Faer|eggs]> Manager spoke to her a few moments, there were
  some harsh hand symbols, and eventually the woman drove off
  <[Faer|eggs]> My manager came back to me with the most PISSED
  OFF look on her face
  <[Faer|eggs]> And said "That woman has been coming here for
  the past two years. She's been our most loyal customer at this
  shop, and you just drove her away forever."
  <[Faer|eggs]> The next day, I got a raise.
  <Tremens> haha
  <[Faer|eggs]> And that, my friends, is the end of my tale.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910037
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185106
text:
  <`Hunter> Dutch tv sounds really shite, the only good stuff is
  what you steal off us :/
  <RevMonsta> wtf your right
  <RevMonsta> he is giving a sausage a blowjob


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910038
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185210
text:
  <~Cor> you know though
  <~Cor> how sometimes you get in that mood where romance is out
  the window and you just want to shove your dick in something?
  * ~Cor is in one of those moods
  <&K> I call that mood "awake".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910038
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185293
text:
  <@Ustas> Sigh. Got to go buy some food. A mouse hung itself in
  my fridge and left a note "can't live like this"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910039
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185337
text:
  <Shadow> A super computer running on Windows XP? Thats like a
  tight rope walker walking on barbed wire...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910040
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185597
text:
  <[BAD]Beef> I AM SO SMART
  <[BAD]Beef> follow my reasoning
  <[BAD]Beef> my comp has no floppy drive
  <[BAD]Beef> so I go downstairs to make a boot floppy on
  another comp
  <[BAD]Beef> I come back in my room with the floppy in my hand
  <[BAD]Beef> and bang my head against the wall


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910040
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185697
text:
  <Geollum> The third volume of the trilogy is no better, Yott
  insists. Creatures with dark faces, black eyes and long black
  hair coming from the east and the south and wielding scimitars
  is obviously racist, he says.
  <Chronologist> lol....
  <Geollum> Ok, it's not OUR fault that black has come to
  associate Evil
  <KeeperX> OMG
  <KeeperX> THE LOTR HAS HAD BAD INFLUENCE ON ME
  * KeeperX goes to the south and kills some dark skinned people
  wielding scimitars


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910041
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185741
text:
  <`DE-Throwdown-e-> if anyone knows how to unclog a toilet when
  there is no plunger available pm me please...hurry their is
  shit on the floor already
  * `DE-Throwdown-e- has quit IRC (Excess Flood)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910041
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185836
text:
  gamemastax: you know how my parents are divorced right?
  DrJerad: yeah
  gamemastax: Well I just had a talk with my mom.
  gamemastax: i told her i didn't want to live with her anymore
  gamemastax: she started crying
  DrJerad: Why did you tell her that?
  gamemastax: because I don't want to?
  DrJerad: Why not?
  gamemastax: because her computer only has 64 mb of RAM
  gamemastax: and that's just not enough to run world of
  warcraft smoothly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910041
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185881
text:
  Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
  RebelPrincess: don't.
  Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
  RebelPrincess: don't!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910042
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.185979
text:
  <blazemore> kof97, magical drop 3, neo turf masters
  <blazemore> couple others
  <Brazenhrt> Heh...Magical Drop.
  <blazemore> magical drop 3 is great :~)
  <Brazenhrt> I didn't say it wasn't.
  <blazemore> brazenhrt: i didn't say that you insisted it
  wasn't.
  <Brazenhrt> blazemore: I didn't say that you said that I
  insisted it wasn't.
  <blazemore> brazenhrt: you said that you didn't say it wasn't
  awesome in response to my saying it was awesome, which
  thereafter i said i didn't say that you insisted it wasn't.
  <Brazenhrt> Oh god.
  <Brazenhrt> Never mind.
  * PhorceP 's head explodes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910042
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186031
text:
  <Acero> Acero = Steel
  <Acero> my nick used to be Steel
  <Acero> there are a load of other lamers who use steel
  <BaNe> yer nick should be puddin
  <BaNe> not steel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910042
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186097
text:
  <morganti> the problem is if I have referrer logging turned
  off, the images will not load because the site is trying to
  stop queers from linking to their content, so if the referrer
  is blank the image won't load....
  <morganti> however I have a program that is supposed to set
  the referrer to the sites domain that I am visiting, but it
  doesn't seem to be working
  <_8ight> humm.  well, u go to alot of trouble to surf for porn
  then huh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910043
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186150
text:
  <Zaphod`> Put on Pants: 1:00PM
  <Zaphod`> Talk to strange people on Internet: 12:19 PM - 1:00
  AM
  <Zaphod`> Sleep: 1:00 AM - 1:00 PM
  <Zaphod`> Repeat.
  <Zaphod`> Lazy Geek Factor: 110% Above Normal... Diagnosis =
  Summer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910043
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186213
text:
  <Mr_Evets> I wonder what would happen if I were to eat some
  Brine Shrimp
  <Mr_Evets> I wonder if they'd mix with the semen in my stomach
  and create a seaciety
  <Sabrejack> yes. they would.
  <Mr_Evets> Would they build statues of me and worship me?
  <Mr_Evets> Then the other half build statues of something
  else, worship it
  <Mr_Evets> and start suicide bombing each other??
  <Sabrejack> quite likely.
  <Mr_Evets> Excellent
  <Mr_Evets> Because I already ate the brine shimp


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910043
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186310
text:
  <Dugimodo> ever notice miracles stopped happening when the
  video camera was invented
  <pog> and then they started up again when digital editing came
  by


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910044
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186353
text:
  Greg um...: west is that way.. --->
  juggalett_chick: no thats north here
  Greg um...: not my fault your monitor is facing the wrong
  way...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910044
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186409
text:
  <azzl> i can getcha a cheap bmw.
  <azzl> or mercedes, ya like-a the mercedes?
  <azzl> there's just a little scratch on it.
  <azzl> where the vin's supposed to be.
  <azzl> i wouldn't worry about it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910045
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186498
text:
  <Caedar[SOT]> God, I hate people with no game experience who
  work at game stores.
  <Kaelo[LoR]> yeah me too Caedar[SOT] ... You want what?  Gay
  Sex 2?
  <Kaelo[LoR]> *sigh* nonono, DEUS EX 2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910045
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186565
text:
  <Valqorez> I heard a strange commercial on the radio at work
  today....
  <Valqorez> "Treat yourself to a facial and raise money for
  charity at the same time."
  <Valqorez> I was like "What is this, a sponsored bukkake?"
  <Foz> hahaha
  <Valqorez> My manager gave me a long, funny look.
  <Foz> lol. I didn't think many people knew that word
  <Valqorez> Maybe she speaks Japanese....
  <Valqorez> Odd thing was, all I could do was shrug and and say
  "What?"
  <Foz> I know that look


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910046
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186714
text:
  <RageFury> 1-800-Wheelchair.com looking for Web Dev. ASAP
  (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
  <RageFury> I guess they will be interested in server side push
  technologies.
  <RageFury> Their clients can't move themselves.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910046
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186759
text:
  <evil-guru> if the Bible says Pi equals 3, the Pi must equal 3
  <j-la> Thou shalt not reckon in decimals.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910046
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186805
text:
  <ryant09> How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a
  tampon and ask him which period it came from.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910047
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.186865
text:
  <[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact
  same damn thing
  <[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything
  works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both
  of us..that's fooken strange
  <AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
  <AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the
  eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer,
  for fuck's sake."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910047
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187032
text:
  <Dr_Greenthumb-> tomarrow I got the house to myself for 4 days
  <Dr_Greenthumb-> ahhh, the orgies...
  <@EnD-Raistlin> left and right hand at the same time ? :o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910047
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187083
text:
  (&Gsus) thanks to asian porn i know now the japanese words for
  "More" "oh god yes" "fuck me hard" and "get that tentacle out
  of my ass"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910048
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187131
text:
  * stigma fingers into dashutri's fluff very slowly, stealing
  the warmth away
  * Dashutri blinks, and turns to ice.
  <stigma> :(
  <Dashutri> You STOLE my warmth. What did you expect?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910048
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187233
text:
  <Gazhag> black ice defender is a good defender program, much
  better than firewall.
  <Dzarg> lol :)))
  <Dzarg> I could almost make that my quit message.
  <Gazhag> oh, what's so funny in that? It's better than
  firewall, isn't it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910048
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187285
text:
  <@Lum_> 128 mb is enough
  <@Lum_> it's fucking enough for microsoft dev studio
  <@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB
  <@Lum_> I think it's enough for my TANK GAME


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910049
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187389
text:
  <Savant> heh you guys read halfrobo's post on lums boards?
  <Kiler> I like his posts backing liet up on her "DAOC IS
  SEXIST CAUSE THE WOMEN SIT LIKE WOMEN AND IT"S A STEREOTYPE!!!
  "
  <CrashCat> daoc is sexist because you can fist zombies!
  <Kiler> that's not sexist...both sexes can do the zombie
  fisting
  <CrashCat> oh yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910049
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187449
text:
  <@ecoli> i should just ln -s /dev/urandom ircd.conf
  <@ecoli> and keep restarting it
  <@ecoli> eventually it'll get everything right
  <@Wink> lol
  <@ecoli> stupid ssl.
  <@ecoli> this couldn't be less documented if it were an md5
  encrypted haiku.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910051
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187552
text:
  <danhon> overheard in the lab:
  <danhon> "try doing javac first before you do java"
  <Cringer> hahaha
  <danhon> "what does that do?"
  <danhon> "dunno, but it works"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910051
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187607
text:
  <Tum> does anyone know anything about a program called instant
  spanish
  <Tum> like if its any good
  <meps> just add water
  <eldee> heh.. thought that said 'instant spinach'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910052
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187651
text:
  <MASTERR_4_SLUT_GIRLZ> i need a slut girl as my sex slave as i
  have pics of scenes i have in mind. apply on ur kneels with
  atleast ur topless pic.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910052
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187761
text:
  <mixedknut> drac killed the chats again
  <mixedknut> bastard
  <Dracon|s> bah
  <Dracon|s> I was the only person other than you chatting
  <Dracon|s> as if my terrible punning would drive people away
  <GOD|away> <---


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910052
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187805
text:
  <Arcturus|BuF> The Sims is the only game where you can kill
  someone by trapping them between strategically placed toilets


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910053
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187851
text:
  <jorm> if you have to ally yourself with a subculture that
  likes bad music and shitty drugs, you might as well go with
  the one where you're more likely to get laid.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910053
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.187903
text:
  <sprawd_> how do i delete the history in konquerer?
  <RichiH> the smart way of saying "i've been browsing porn at
  my dad's computer"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910054
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188041
text:
  <happy> dude, when will i be able to buy a big gigantic fibre
  line for like $10/mo?
  <jre> You can make one for free if you eat a lot of bran.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910054
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188151
text:
  <harm_> today this one lady got pissed off cause we dont carry
  i quote wireless power supplies
  <ogregasm> a what
  <harm_> thats what i said
  <harm_> maybe you want an adaptor for a wireless router o
  rsomething??
  <harm_> shes goes no no i read online about this i wannit i
  wannit
  <harm_> then she got pissed when i told her that kind of
  technology doesnt exist
  <ogregasm> heh
  <harm_> i tried to be nice but it got to the point where i was
  like"get back to us in 30 years"
  <harm_> "once we attain the secret of positron deflector
  shields, wireless power supplies shall become a reality"
  <ogregasm> why bother being that much of an ass to the poor
  woman
  <harm_> well shes the one who got all up in my face asking for
  the store manager
  <harm_> i told her he had just teleported to a corporate
  meeting in tokyo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910054
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188238
text:
  <Starscream> uh
  <Starscream> i just accidentally told my credit card company i
  was smoking crack
  <Starscream> shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910055
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188313
text:
  <Disciple> my bowels are at a state of civil unrest
  <Disciple> ugh... looks like the rebels are winning
  <Disciple> gotta go, bbiab


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910055
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188386
text:
  ( CraNDaWG  ) i just watched like 6 ddr videos and i must say
  ( CraNDaWG  ) that is the _gayest_ bullshit i have ever seen
  ( Lev       ) you know, real men who rustle cows and weld
  stuff prolly think us playing computer games and giggling at
  each others gayness on irc is the _gayest_ bullshit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910056
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188477
text:
  <Camo> prence: someone at school played a prank on a loser and
  they fed him like
  a whole bottle of viagra by putting it under the cheese of his
  pizza and then in
  the middle of class, his penis exploded and he had to go to
  the hospital


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910056
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188537
text:
  <melol2> wapityyy, so you are giving up computers, for a girl
  you hardly know, even when you dont know she has a problem
  with it?
  <wapityyy> yeah
  <wapityyy> thats totally me
  <wapityyy> follow your instinct
  <melol2> hmm. Sounds good :)
  <r3v> if i followed my instinct
  <r3v> there would be streets littered with dead babies
  <r3v> and the word virgin would not exist
  <wapityyy> what the FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910056
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188594
text:
  <Andrew_ge> whats an ip?
  <Andrew_ge> cos according to this popup, my pc is broadcasting
  one - is that bad?
  <blender> internet protocol
  <Andrew_ge> better download this program just incase... its
  free anyhow
  <Andrew_ge> also - you should check this out, its rules...
  http://www.gator.com
  <blender> spam anyone?
  <Andrew_ge> whats spam?
  <blender> a lovely meat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910057
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188818
text:
  <omega> it was funny
  <omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of
  these latley, about the us)
  <omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
  <omega> like
  <omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was
  in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
  <omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
  <omega> gave him weapons
  <omega> and shit
  <omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama,
  and then had to later go in and get him
  <omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
  <omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
  <omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents
  more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
  <omega> and then he stopped talking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910058
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188873
text:
  <Wang_Ninja> oh boy
  <Wang_Ninja> minigame
  <Wang_Ninja> I have to find four 6 year old boys
  <Goonigoogoo> it's a michael jackson minigame?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910058
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.188972
text:
  <jeffrey> guys why does amazon.com suck so much
  <jeffrey> it says my estimated ship date is jan 3
  <jeffrey> yet on the product pages they both say usually ship
  within 24 hours
  <cromicus> i hope you're ordering a copy of the dictionary
  that contains a definition for the word "usually"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910058
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189022
text:
  <@tribljedi> can anyone recommend a registry cleaner?
  <@Znarl> tribljedi : Linux
  <@tribljedi> can someone who won't give me useless suggestions
  recommend a registry cleaner?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910059
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189074
text:
  <Targaff> nem1: i've got the solution to your little
  <Targaff> problem
  <DrtySOUTH> viagra?
  <DrtySOUTH> :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910059
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189136
text:
  <Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat,
  I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a
  horny female in my entire life...cool.'
  <Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
  <Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever
  said.
  <Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910059
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189190
text:
  <Bb|releaseme> Because memorization is an intellectual
  activity which stimulates the mind.
  <Sharku-away> We're talking about Gwindor, Bb|releaseme
  <Sharku-away> jk
  <Bb|releaseme> LOL
  *** Sharku-away has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
  <Gwindor> see, that is what happens when you insult my
  intelligence.  peers take care of ya


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910060
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189286
text:
  <Josh> Fenix, what program are you using to connect to IRC
  <Fenix> program?
  <Josh> yees
  <Fenix> im not using one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910060
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189361
text:
  *** zaney was kicked by Ash (I know you're not stupid! Don't
  think you can fool me!)
  *** Ash sets mode: +b *!*zane@*.cyberverse.com
  <hypr> hahaahhaha
  <Ash> [13:35] <zaney> whats the greatest nation in the world?
  <Ash> [13:36] <Ash> Mexico!
  <Ash> [13:36] <zaney> uriNATION HAW YOU idiot!@
  <Ash> [13:36] <zaney> hahahahhaa
  <Ash> [13:36] <zaney> thats funny
  <Ash> [13:36] <zaney> urination is peee btw
  <Ash> [13:36] <zaney> pee jokes own


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910060
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189419
text:
  <phat-ta-tat-tat> dis room is borin'
  <phat-ta-tat-tat> get sum hoes in here
  <hwKP> But i quit being a pimp
  <phat-ta-tat-tat> fuk it get bak in da game
  <phat-ta-tat-tat> da game needs u
  <hwKP> but I threw out my platform shoes with the fish inside
  <phat-ta-tat-tat> fuk it u betta go fishin den


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910061
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189512
text:
  <shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
  <Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your
  jacket?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910061
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189553
text:
  origamikitty: I feel like sisyphus trying to push the boulder
  of knowledge up a mountain of reps today
  origamikitty: Christ al-freaking-mighty
  GnaaaGnaa: i feel like that just about every day
  GnaaaGnaa: except its a ball of dung
  GnaaaGnaa: up a mountain of futility


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910062
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189596
text:
  SuperCoW : i once questioned a turtle about advanced
  trigonometry
  SuperCoW : but after a while i found out it was only a rock
  eightyapes : idiot
  SuperCoW : fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked
  like a turtle
  eightyapes : i dont think u get my point


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910062
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189702
text:
  <aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was
  roleplaying a prostitute
  <Kiger> lol
  <Kiger> you did that aich?
  <aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
  <aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head
  for money


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910063
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189748
text:
  * Courthold eats PT
  <Courthold> dammit pt having boners making it hard to chew
  <PTDC> Hee hee. I hope that was a typo and not a freudian
  slip.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910063
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189807
text:
  <trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine
  right ?
  <jbean> yeah
  <trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
  <trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and
  went to a friends
  <trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
  <jbean> and then
  <trekkie47> i dunno
  <trekkie47> he told me to leave
  <jbean> hahahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910063
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189855
text:
  -!- red_one has quit ["Netscape 4 turned 5. 5 years ago, my
  best friend wasn't even dating; now he's married and has two
  kids. Fucking upgrade already."]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910063
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189905
text:
  <Animosity> We have a suicide club at our school
  <Animosity> It encourages suicide
  <Animosity> Which counters suicide, supposedly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910064
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.189954
text:
  (]Joey[> how wsas the party?
  (avarrin-> [oe
  (avarrin-> pine
  (avarrin-> JO9WWkn
  (avarrin-> pinw
  *** avarrin- has quit IRC (My damn controlling terminal
  disappeared!)
  (]Joey[> damn, must have been good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910064
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190004
text:
  <NCOIC> StarDog, you should see my electronic warfare arsenal.
  I've got virii and trojans and worms soo old they 'dropped
  them' from most defensive software...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910064
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190065
text:
  <fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
  <fiveiron> porn rots your mind
  <la_haine> course it doesn't
  <la_haine> you're thinking of TV
  <fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
  <fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910065
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190154
text:
  Pron_Czar_Mike- inner city broadband is silly, like a
  crackhead mom with 6 kids can afford it, get it out to us
  middle class rural people first you bastards!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910065
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190212
text:
  <octalpuss> that's right... i'm on my way back to being
  beautiful
  <octalpuss> fuck brains  =o)
  <octalpuss> oh, and drinking adequate water really kicks ass
  <octalpuss> the extra skin on my tummy that i thought i was
  going to need a
  tummy tuck for is now 85% gone
  <el_kab0ng> turn around, I think I found it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910065
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190268
text:
  <Jaz> every playboy playmate 1955-2002
  <chrissy> in your house? shit! that's a lot of boobies!
  <Jaz> hehe
  <Asmodeus> yeah, but they're models, 5 ice cubes and a roll of
  toilet paper and you can feed the lot of them for a day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910066
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190323
text:
  <angeles> i really shouldnt take you seriously should i
  <hoyhoy> sure
  <hoyhoy> it makes the channel amusing for the rest of us
  <angeles> i'm pretty gullible
  <hoyhoy> angeles: LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY
  , I AM MR. TIJANI YUSUFU CREDIT OFFFICER WITH THE UNION BANK
  OF NIGERIA PLC (UBA) BENIN BRANCH, I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY
  PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE
  THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION,WHICH INVOLVES TRANSFERING HUGE
  SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910066
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190369
text:
  <loss> i met this japanese kid at comdex who could sms 65 wpm
  <_dren_> fucker prolly rip his weenier off when he whacks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910066
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190415
text:
  <Malefecent> I want to see Blue Man Group
  <mrLang> Buy a drum set and watch the Smurfs.  Same thing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910066
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190467
text:
  <Thrash|Zzz> YAY HARRY POTTER ON DVD
  <Khross{killme}> O_O
  <Khross{killme}> I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY
  <Khross{killme}> Oh wait I'm heterosexual.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910067
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190517
text:
  <Seteh> man... we've been together over 2 years now :)
  <raeccratf> ask her to marry you, then you can have a night of
  great fun!
  <raeccratf> but regret it in the morning :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910067
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190594
text:
  <@Gesten> I'm going to cry when my grandchildren look at me
  and say: "Grandpa...why'd you let them make everything on the
  internet illegal?"
  <@Amily> as if it was all your doing? :)
  <@Gesten> I should've been born two years earlier so I could
  ahve ahd a voice.
  <@Amily> you don't have a voice?!?!
  <@Amily> you're a mute!
  <@Gesten> You didn't know I was a mute?
  <@Amily> well i know now, and it makes me immensely happy
  <@Gesten> No seriously...my neck hit a countertop when I was a
  kid. I can only make high-pitched muffled noises that sound
  like squirrels mating.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910067
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190640
text:
  <+LS|Krylar> how much caffeine does it take before u get the
  shakes?
  <+void_> that depends on how strong you want the shakes to be


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910068
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190681
text:
  (ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light
  bulb?
  (ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910068
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190726
text:
  <glossolalia> oh well, the way I see it, the chances of me
  being smacked in the head by a meteor or accidentally being
  killed in a gang war are pretty slim, especially with my
  new-found love of drinking JD while chatting on IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910068
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190774
text:
  <[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol
  <[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've
  ever heard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910069
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190861
text:
  prettykittikat: Im going 2 the club 2night
  Syric 2005: im going 2 lern 2 tipe 2nite 2
  prettykittikat: what?
  Syric 2005: Exactly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910069
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190919
text:
  * go_boy getting his haujobb on
  <jej> i read that as 'handjob'
  <go_boy> i assumed you would
  <jej> you can always count on me.
  <go_boy> for a handjob?
  <jej> of course.
  <go_boy> rockin.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910069
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.190985
text:
  <KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE
  THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/
  _EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
  <KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
  <Flaming_Duck> oh god
  <Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
  <Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
  <KeeperX> yes, that is gay
  <KeeperX> external CDROM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910070
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191077
text:
  <Synoptica> holy fuck
  <Synoptica> i like
  <Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
  <Synoptica> (dont ask)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910070
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191126
text:
  <ViolenceJack> i just became the escape goat and asked for
  it...
  <Ecliptik> What's an escape goat? Do you ride it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910070
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191179
text:
  <semi> +
  <semi> oops
  <semi> keyboard almost fell, caught it by the numpad end
  <MrP-> +
  <MrP-> oops
  <MrP-> same here


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910071
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191283
text:
  < myren> feel like i'm gonna fucking die
  < [mbm]> ?
  < Wonka> to die fucking would quite sure feel better...
  < [mbm]> wouldn't want to be the partner
  < [mbm]> I mean, do you finish?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910071
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191331
text:
  <Roxus> what's the longest a USB cable can run ?
  <zengolfer> Roxus: depends on how much it trains and
  conditions


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910072
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191530
text:
  <DRBS> this is so ghey what happened
  <MoDoDynam> I know Bradford, I know.
  <DRBS> matts an ayesshole
  <MoDoDynam> Well sometimes in a friendship the parties
  involved have to tear apart and develop a scar tissue in order
  to strengthen the bond that they never had before. Maybe
  that's our purpose in life: fighting to eventually gain
  fulfillment with others.
  <DRBS> ...
  <DRBS> hold on i have to take a nasty shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910073
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191584
text:
  <Timelord> I am heading down to Cingular to go punch a CSR in
  the face.
  <Timelord> Later all.
  <Tuan> haha
  <TacoWork> chip a tooth for me.
  <mattsteg_> if you don't get your monthly quota of punches in,
  they roll over to next month


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910073
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191676
text:
  <delzi> Arguing in the internet is like running in the special
  olympics, even if you win you are still retarted.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910073
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191722
text:
  <Mitsune_Konno> Yeah, except starbucks sucks
  <Mitsune_Konno> for some reason you can getevery color of
  coffee except black


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910073
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191763
text:
  BonusStageInBed: let me spell it out for you
  BonusStageInBed: ES
  BonusStageInBed: EL
  BonusStageInBed: OH
  BonusStageInBed: DOUBLE U
  blonde4u: slouu?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910074
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191813
text:
  <Ronwe> I never claimed to have a good memory....
  <Malice> Maybe you did. It's not like you'd remember.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910074
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191869
text:
  <baka-san> a byte to eat? *groan*
  <baka-san> I ate at a suhsi place once that called their
  pieces bits,
  you could order a 4-bit nibble, and 8-bit byte, a 16-bit
  halfword, or a
  32-bit word.
  <baka-san> Some of their large combo platters were named after
  structs.
  <baka-san> The TCP header that we ordered was very tasty.
  <billf> "you know you're in silicon valley when...."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910074
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191923
text:
  <gwizz> there were just 2 police cars in front of my neighbors
  house right
  <gwizz> and i was watching from my room and i told my dad, so
  he goes and opens the front door to look
  <gwizz> but he didnt know the alarm was set, so it goes off
  <gwizz> my mom turns it off, and then one of the policemen
  come over and were like 'did we go to the wrong house?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910075
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.191979
text:
  <Noisedragon> hey chris
  <Noisedragon>      C   H   R   I   S
  <Noisedragon> bind h "flickoff"
  <Noisedragon> hhhhhhhh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910077
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192120
text:
  (cutey) what you upto, cmang
  (cmang) cutey: Nothing much. :) Just squeaking.
  (cmang) And waiting for an email response from my employeer
  (cmang) to find out if I get to go to work today. Hmm.
  (cutey) :]
  (cmang) cutey: Nothing too interesting, really. How about
  yourself? ;)
  (cutey) :>
  (kyr) you DO realize you speak to a bot, right?
  (cmang) :(
  (cmang) I'm going to cry salt mines now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910077
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192161
text:
  Louis^ s/n: H6TWQ-TQQM8-HXJYG-D69F7-R84VM
  Kick: mrfrost has kicked Louis^ (¤Çhanne£ Mâstêr¤ NO CAPS
  ¤Auto Kick¤ 1 minute)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910077
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192215
text:
  <Aguilera> DCC Exploit Affecting 6.12
  <Aguilera> Breaking News. On Oct 20, another exploit was
  identified which can crash even the recently released version
  6.12
  <Dabz> lol
  <Dabz> since when did microsoft make mirc?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910077
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192267
text:
  <Max-> worse than shite 200mhz pentium with 32mb ram and
  monitors @ 60hz?
  <CUI> Max- That's not computer
  <CUI> That's a calculator


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910078
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192376
text:
  <Tonberry> I hate it when people forward me God crap.
  <Arch|Ryuugan> lol
  <Tonberry> Like 'God is our savior, why should we only worship
  him on Sundays! We should worship him at work, at school,
  during sex, yaddayaddayadda.'
  <Arch|Ryuugan> Wait... during sex... do I need to, like...
  pray?
  <Tonberry> Well, I think 'Oh, God' is sufficient.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910078
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192451
text:
  <Raekwon> Matrix 2: "Hey Neo, let's go for a walk" **CRAZY
  MATRIX MUSIC** camera angles all over the place, approx time
  to walk one block 25 minutes
  <BlurryMystr> haha, well yeah. It's the Matrix.
  <BlurryMystr> Nothing ever happens plainly in the Matrix.
  <Tituba> tying shoes
  <Raekwon> just like The Bible
  <Tituba> breathing
  <Teegus> "Neo! walk the dog" *Kung foo dog shitting action*
  <BlurryMystr> Neo: "Boy, this burger looks good."  *agents
  leap up, try to steal the burger, Neo has to fight them off
  while eating fries*
  <Teegus> neo dodges fries leaving onion ring trails
  <Tituba> after he finishes killing them all he mutters "now
  that's done my way"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910079
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192503
text:
  <Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked
  <Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get
  up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise
  my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to
  Florida with my family... O_O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910079
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192592
text:
  --> guest (~SportsCar@166.111.6.93) has joined #lgl
  * guest ´ó½Ð£º¾ÈÃü°¡£¡ ¾ÈÃü°¡£¡
  <khalek> you seem to be a little mixed up
  <khalek> this is not #perl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910079
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192633
text:
  PsychoJ:My views on the new nintendo DS and Sony PSP...
  Zaheera:Go on.
  PsychoJ:PSP is like a hot girl with full round C cup breasts.
  PsychoJ:Is experienced and has alot to offer for relatively
  little effort.
  Zaheera:And the DS?
  PsychoJ:Her flat chested 12 year old sister with a unibrow.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910080
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192683
text:
  <sikory> hmmm, people found a severed head in amsterdam
  <sikory> police thinks that it might be connected to the
  headless body they found yesterday
  <Gamah> sikory: well obviously it's not connected...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910080
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192804
text:
  <Teakk> shhh
  <Teakk> dont everybody talk at once
  <LiamDevln> You forget that we're on Idler Relay Chat...
  <Teakk> Oh yeah...
  <LiamDevln> If you goto AOL the people talk more, but say less


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910081
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192852
text:
  <snow> hurricanes are like women
  <snow> when they come, they're wet and wild, and when they
  leave they take your house and car.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910081
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192903
text:
  <LatinKing> I was born homophobic, but i came out of the
  closet a long time ago when i told my family i found out that
  a lot of them were too!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910081
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.192994
text:
  <Akito> Single men make up the vast majority though
  * Akito loves being in the minority :D
  <iamcal> you're not a man anymore?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910082
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193102
text:
  <Suave|Away> Oh, and don't DnD tonight.
  <cow> dnd
  <cow> ?
  <cow> oh
  <cow> yer
  <cow> no way
  <cow> !
  <funnel|getreddy> dnd?
  <Suave|Away> Either Dungeons and Dragons, or Drink n Drive
  <Suave|Away> Either way, you're a bloody idiot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910082
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193157
text:
  <Robbie0> Yoshi: Why can't i ride you on Mario 64
  <Yoshi> Okay...
  <Yoshi> First off
  <Yoshi> I ain't like that
  <Robbie0> sorry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910083
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193213
text:
  *** atnnn (atnnn@hv-hs-37-38.aei.ca) has joined #winprog
  <atnnn> hi
  <atnnn> what is the code for "+" on WM_KEYDOWN
  <Wy4tt> VK_RTM
  <atnnn> and minus?
  <Wy4tt> VK_RTFM
  <atnnn> i can't find it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910083
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193277
text:
  <eMeow-v2> WTF, why is nmbd dying each time?!
  <Tamahome> Meow: it hates you, it's personal.
  <eMeow-v2> Tamahome: you used that line already
  <Tamahome> Meow: it's true.
  <Tamahome> Meow: your computer is getting you back for all the
  years you     abused it
  <eMeow-v2> Tamahome: it's a new computer. The old one is
  locked in the  cupboard.
  <eMeow-v2> Oh wait. it's the old one that runs samba
  <eMeow-v2> FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910083
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193330
text:
  <blabur93> I swear it was the most disgusting thing I've ever
  seen
  <Zoogle> like all male senior citizen bukkake nasty?
  <blabur93> ........ no
  <blabur93> but thanks, now i just imagined the most disgusting
  thing ever
  <Zoogle> np, anytime


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910084
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193461
text:
  * ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
  * Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga
  KamikazeChicken|Away
  * Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind
  * Cold_Lich whistles innocently


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910084
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193516
text:
  <Sean> haha you don't like the finns
  <Skywalker> i have the finns
  <ed|work> in a small box?
  <Skywalker> hate*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910084
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193575
text:
  <Geothermal> "<Sphlynxo> Watch your mouth, son." what the hell
  was that
  <Geothermal> he better be joking
  <Geothermal> 'cause this is fucking finalfight
  <Kazz-readin> Yeah.  Fight the power!
  <dregan> Where the men are men, the women are women, the sheep
  are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910085
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193663
text:
  [zerra] Just employ a number of chinese ppl and have them
  memorise ones and zeros..
  [zerra] or force them to do that
  [@opeth] you gotta get one named Ping
  [@opeth] for network maintenance


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910086
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193856
text:
  <Firebrand> Mario and Luigi are just too "goody goody" with
  each other.
  <Firebrand> I'd wonder what kind of "plumbing" they do
  <Firebrand> As I never see them with the tools


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910087
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.193953
text:
  <notjoe> yesterday i brought my cat to the vet since he wasnt
  peeing. So, the vet forced him to pee by putting pressure on
  his bladder but i swear i saw his finger was on the my cats
  asshole
  <tripsta> did he put his finger in his mouth after
  <samurai_> did he light up a smoke?
  <notjoe> no and no
  <notjoe> but there was no need to be fingering the cats ass by
  doing what he was doing
  <notjoe> this other time he commented on how nice the cats
  testicles were


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910088
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194144
text:
  <deimos_> so now i gotta get bitchx working the way i want
  <deimos_> and modify the stats util for bitch log format
  <deimos_> hh, bitchx rather
  <Toast> yeah, I was going to say that hep doesn't HAVE  a log
  format..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910088
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194192
text:
  <NES> after 9-11 I was expecting Oasis to release a statement
  like "While we regret Blink-182's direct terrorist involvement
  in the incident, we plan to hunt them down like the muslim
  dogs they are"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910088
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194235
text:
  <demografik> fuck! i attempted to make cinnamon toast but i
  failed. lets just say i have an overabundance of chicken
  seasoning toast.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910089
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194281
text:
  <Kobe> I just got an sms before.... " This message cost 22
  cents. This could feed a muslim boy in afganistan for a whole
  day. Send this to 7 of your friends and starve the c**t for a
  week "


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910089
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194330
text:
  <+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
  <+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
  <+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
  <+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910089
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194380
text:
  <wabbit> wanna know something funny dave?
  <wabbit> about nora
  <wabbit> +d
  <wabbit> and what the spend money on?
  <wabbit> +y
  * |Dave hands wabbit the manual for his keyboard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910089
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194429
text:
  <PsychoDreameR> i want a good war script
  <PsychoDreameR> when can i get one??
  <placid> www.nato.com


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910090
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194527
text:
  sUpRbritt420: im writing a persuasive essay on why the
  drinking age should be lowered and breathalyzers should be
  installed in cars while they are being built
  sUpRbritt420: how do you write a persuasive essay ------like
  are you allowed to ask a question?
  VV1Z0: Sure
  VV1Z0: You can start with a question like "Ever wondered why
  there are so many underage drinking arrests? Because it's fun,
  that's why.  We should let teenagers get as drunk as they
  want, so long as they don't hurt others."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910091
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194624
text:
  <manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
  <d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
  <munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
  <soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910091
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194674
text:
  * Kalaco is listening to é¢¨ã?®ã  ã? ã?«(ã ©ã ¤ã ´ã »ã ´ã ¡ã
  ¼ã ¸ã §ã ³) by å°?ç °å  æ­£.
  <Feodore> That's an awesome song.
  <Kalaco> o.o
  <Kalaco> you can see?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910091
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194776
text:
  <Balatro> Electroly:  It died on me once and wouldn't
  restart.  I had to ps -aux or whatever the fuck it is and kill
  the process.  Then it started fine.
  <Electroly> ah, nothing good old `ps aux | grep Proteus | awk
  '{print $2 }' | xargs kill -9` won't fix.
  <Electroly> much better, that worked.
  * Gandalf stares at Electroly
  <Gandalf> And I thought I was a Unix dork.
  <Balatro> Yeah, it was so much less effort to do that then to
  type a command, quickly see the process and kill it by PID :)
  <Electroly> you are a unix dork
  <Electroly> Balatro: there were like 10 Proteus processes,
  dude.
  <Balatro> Funny, I had 1 ;)
  <Electroly> dunno where these all came from, but i killed them
  all.
  <Electroly> now all is well
  <Gandalf> Electroly: I understand ps, grep, and xargs. Explain
  how that awk thinger works, though? :)
  <Electroly> Gandalf: awk is pretty simple.  it treats the
  stdin as a bunch of columns
  <Electroly> and lets you reformat the output.  { print $n } is
  typical, where n is the column number to print out.
  <kurros> AWK AWK MOTHER FUCKER
  <Electroly> it uses whitespace as the column delimiter by
  default, but you can change that by some argument to it
  <Gandalf> ah, and in ps aux the PID is the second column, thus
  $2, right?
  <Electroly> yup
  <Electroly> you can do other stuff with awk, like awk '{ print
  "Whee!  The PID for " $10 " is " $2 "!" }'
  <Balatro> It makes me hot when you talk unix.
  <Electroly> rm -rf /home/Balatro
  <Balatro> That's /homo/Balatro, honey :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910091
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194832
text:
  <Bao> A friend from college is now getting her PhD in
  biomedical engineering, and she has a pet rat she has to
  experiment on, and she had to castrate it for her next
  procedure.
  <Bao> Apparently the thing wasn't fully under anaesthesia, and
  when she was shaving it, it ejaculated on her.
  <Bao> And the most horrible thing is that she shrugs it off
  and is like, "Who'd have thought the first handjob I'd ever
  give would be to a rat?!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910092
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194881
text:
  <goh2> my parents are budgeting me
  <goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
  <goh2> for the next 3 months
  <goh2> i spent 100$ on weed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910092
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.194990
text:
  <skatoni> will some one please help
  <shev> ya?
  <skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
  <shev> unplug your modem
  <skatoni> how?
  <shev> see those wires behind your computer?
  <shev> rip'em all out
  *** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni
  [ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910093
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195036
text:
  <Nev|Away> When did I pick on you, you ugly little horrible
  turd?
  <Nev|Away> Give me your lunch money.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910093
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195076
text:
  * +FFimer has left ##
  * FFimer has joined ##
  * him_selfe sets mode: +b *!*@FFimer.users.quakenet.org
  * FFimer was kicked by him_selfe (AutoKick: Frog detected, go
  /hop in a lake)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910093
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195126
text:
  <Multus> Indeed. And, fear not, a sense of humor be not
  required for my employ, though a sense of direction helps, or
  perhaps a Yahoo! Map, for finding my land can be a chore in
  itself.
  <Jolieve> (( Multus... you have been warned about the out of
  genre commentary... please cease and desist now, this is your
  final warning. ))
  <Multus> Er...
  <Multus> Forgive, I did not mean Yahoo! Maps.  What madness do
  I speak?  I, um, believe they are called Huzzah! Maps in this
  land.  Yes?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910093
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195180
text:
  <Ziller> I'm confused now
  <Ziller> am I me?
  <Ziller> [12:14] *** Ziller (ziller@bnc.host) Quit (Ping
  timeout)
  <_jackal> it's weird to see yourself quit from irc..
  <Ziller> like seeing your own death


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910094
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195230
text:
  <drwiii> Warning: I just got to level 13 in Dr. Mario.
  <j0nkatz> Warning: A terrorist just shot me in Rainbow Six: 3
  <drwiii> Dr. Mario is too busy to treat you.
  <j0nkatz> :<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910094
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195289
text:
  * dasunt has his 12-step plan:  'How to Achieve Sex If You Are
  A Geek'
  <dasunt> 1) Convert to homosexuality.
  <dasunt> 2) Find another geek who has also followed this plan.
  <zoo> it's that easy?
  * pig has a 1-step plan
  <dasunt> 3..12) Give money to Dasunt.
  <pig> 1) stop being a fucking geek


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910094
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195369
text:
  <Blaxxthos> dude these are no joke cameras
  <Blaxxthos> 30:1 optical zoom
  <Blaxxthos> 800:1 digital
  <Blaxxthos> all 360x360 deg PTZ
  <madog> you catch a lot of thieves?
  <madog> people be tring to steal?
  <Blaxxthos> yes
  <Blaxxthos> all the time
  <Blaxxthos> OH SHIT
  <Blaxxthos> DARKIES IN THE HILFIGGER DEPARTMENT
  <Blaxxthos> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910095
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195426
text:
  Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right
  when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience
  played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda
  spin-hold-out-item stance
  Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing
  ever.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910095
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195473
text:
  <Diamond> I just got done watching porn.
  <Diamond> Which has great music.
  <Leper_Mess> ..you watch porn for the music?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910095
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195575
text:
  <DMC[tiky]> talon: and dont get me started on your little
  "provicative" look in the bottom of the picture
  <DMC[tiky]> look like someone put ginger ale in your vagina
  and you are like 'you silly little kitten'
  *** DMC[tiky] was kicked by _Talon_ (God, you are so annoying)
  *** DMC[tiky] (hi@pcp800792pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net) has
  joined
  <DMC[tiky]> haha
  <DMC[tiky]> talon is frustrated with my dmc face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910096
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195669
text:
  * Krazed has quit IRC (Quit: FUCK GAMESNET, FUCK MILON. DONE
  WITH THIS POOR ASS NETWORK)
  * Krazed has joined #dynamite-hosting
  <Ohm`laptop> wb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910096
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195713
text:
  On new years eve a friend told me this:
  Psychism Alchemy: ugh I think I'm on my computer to much...
  Psychism Alchemy: someone just asked me what my resolution was
  as I answered 1600x1200...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910097
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195767
text:
  <nick> grah windows just crashed again, unstable crap.
  <yukito> Windows isn't unstable, it's just spontaneous.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910097
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195815
text:
  <Swamp|haircut> omg @ big breasted hairdressers
  *** Swamp|haircut is now known as Swamp
  <Swamp> whenever she leaned over it looked like i was wearing
  a mickey mouse hat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910097
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195866
text:
  <RobertDylan> "Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation"
  <zwei> i am so much better at math than physics
  <zwei> wait
  <zwei> fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910097
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195909
text:
  <vballa> i didnt know how to get to my friends place the other
  day... and suddenly i caught myself asking him for the URL to
  his house.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910098
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.195962
text:
  <Calisa> Remember when you'd go to those big wooden
  playgrounds, where everything is connected? They had those
  platforms that shook.
  <Calisa> You tried to stay the hell on while your dad shook it
  violently.
  <aeonite> That's not a playground toy. that's child abuse.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910098
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196016
text:
  <Edge> Sense we're going to be using all the correct grammer
  and everything.
  <Jon> Since.
  <Edge> Sense
  <Jon> And the word is grammar.
  <Edge> Since isn't a word


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910098
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196085
text:
  <cosmok> what is programming anymore, copy paste copy paste
  <cosmok> copy, reorganize, paste, rework, paste
  <kez> you missed a bit off the end
  <cosmok> ?
  <kez> </html>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910099
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196190
text:
  <[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay?
  <Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay
  keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910100
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196410
text:
  <King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side
  "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i
  feel a cold chill running down my legs...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910102
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196502
text:
  <sundown1> phone companies are the real root of all evil
  <eMphire> and it spreads through the phonelines :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910102
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196554
text:
  <irq> what acronym is posv?
  > Pirates of Silicon Valley.
  <irq> ah yes
  > And it sucks, because I actually had a decent tape.
  > Then I loaned it to a co-worker, whose wife interpreted
  "silicon" as "silicone," got the wrong idea, and threw it out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910102
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196619
text:
  <+SROL> Megaman is REALLY hard to play without a gamepad
  <+Redlof> what are you playing it with?
  <+SROL> keyboard
  <+Redlof> What? I love the keyboard.
  <+Redlof> just pretend it's commander keen.
  <+SROL> I can't get the hang of it
  <+SROL> I'm used to playing it with my thumbs
  <+SROL> So I picked up the keyboard and tried playing it with
  my thumbs :D
  <+SROL> That didn't work :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910103
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196667
text:
  <natescape> There's a new soft drink that contains Viagra
  instead of caffeine, it's called Mount-n-Do.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910103
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196806
text:
  xxnjbeauty23xx: im also short
  xxnjbeauty23xx: but its a good thing for me because im jewish
  xxnjbeauty23xx: which means im closer to the pennies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910103
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196867
text:
  <AlBo^StUd> eyyyyyy
  <AlBo^StUd> i have a virus i fink
  <AlBo^StUd> like wen im on the net
  <AlBo^StUd> my mouse goes nuts
  <AlBo^StUd> n cliks everywere
  <AlBo^StUd> n wen i move it it makes it worse
  <AlBo^StUd> d only way i kan get it off is by d/c my mouse n
  reconecting it
  <My`Albanian`Ass> u running windows 98?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910104
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196919
text:
  <Ralf> programmers and old people have a lot in common.
  <Ralf> we're both always looking for ways to control leaks.
  <Ralf> and dumps.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910104
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.196973
text:
  <cmdrfunk> i have a picture around here somewhere where she
  looks totally hot in her silks guard uniform
  <mike> flag squad?
  <cmdrfunk> yah
  <mike> the chicks who are too fat to make it to cheerleading
  <lyfeAsaurus-REX> the bottom of the pyramid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910105
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197061
text:
  <Ponder> He found a better job, got a new gf.
  <Ponder> All because he stopped smoking
  <tragic> i need to start smoking, so then i can quit and all
  sorta good shit will happen to me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910105
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197122
text:
  <JohnPnP> Hey, porn is good. SEX CAN WAIt, MASTURBATE.
  <JohnPnP> Abstinance is in the palm of your hand.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910105
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197192
text:
  <Beoulve> Some women insert cups with razor blades in them
  into their vaginas.
  <Beoulve> Would you want to fuck one of those women?
  <Beoulve> DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH DANGER?
  <Tarl> ...
  <Tarl> Adam.
  <Tarl> That only happens with women *you've* slept with
  before.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910105
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197237
text:
  (therap|st) IMPERIAL PARKING is seeking a JUNIOR FIELD
  AUDITOR. This full time position will require a self starter
  who has their own car and analytical mind with an eye for
  detail. Interested applicants please fax resume to 943-XXXX
  attn: Operations Manager.
  (therap|st) would that mean id be the bastard who drives
  around and gets people towed?
  (Cid-Away) be like "your hawt and illegally parked i think
  somthing can be arranged" :)
  (Dane_) tow pimp
  (Cid-Away) you can tell if someone is hawt by the way tehre
  illegally parked
  (therap|st) those guys must think im hella hot
  (therap|st) cause i park like shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910106
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197288
text:
  <ElJimador> u ppl meet potential mates off the internet?
  ewwwww
  <ElJimador> mailorderbride.com
  <[gabe]> well, with a name like "hot4u" or "sweet12f" how can
  i resist?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910106
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197343
text:
  <@sTubby> I would if I could send shit =
  <@sTubby> it wont work
  -> -sTubby- u havent got dcc on
  -> -sTubby- /s enable send
  [18:33] * Quits: sTubby (Unforgiven@vw-30007.bigpond.net.au)
  (Need more parameters)
  <BenZor> lol n00bs... fun fun fun.
  * Joins: sTubby (Unforgiven@vw-30007.bigpond.net.au)
  <sTubby> 'twas already on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910106
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197384
text:
  TheRealDandler: if I do fuck up
  TheRealDandler: I dont want my penis anymore
  airenazari: hahahahaha
  airenazari: donation time
  TheRealDandler: its like
  TheRealDandler: locks for love
  TheRealDandler: where you cut off 8 inches of your hair
  TheRealDandler: except its not hair
  airenazari: or 8 inches


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910106
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197437
text:
  <Hibashira> Tommah
  <FraudulentTommah> what
  <Hibashira> let's make a baby
  <FraudulentTommah> out of what


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910107
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197581
text:
  Yakuza: We get telemarketers all the time calling my house
  Yakuza: So one night me and my friends got together and waited
  for one to call
  Yakuza: When one did, I picked it up and was like talking to
  the guy, giving him that false hope
  Yakuza: Then I had my friends ring the doorbell, and I was
  like oh hold on
  Yakuza: I went to the door and had my friends like shout shit
  like "There he is! Get him!"
  Yakuza: And we started popping balloons and had a movie on
  full blast in the background
  Yakuza: And then I let out this gut wrenching scream
  Yakuza: I let the line go silent, and the guy on the other end
  was like "uhh... sir?"
  Yakuza: Then my friend ran over and picked up the phone and
  was like "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!?"
  Yakuza: I guess he hung up like instantly :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910108
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197626
text:
  *** Quits: Espresso (my sister is a bitch and needs this
  computer because her homework is already saved on it)
  <^Pa|Busy^> I think all words after "bitch" were probably
  unnecessary.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910108
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197765
text:
  <Jess> When I asked my Gyno if he could make it feel good,
  <Jess> he looked at me in a really weird way and moved his
  hand back out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910109
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.197819
text:
  <Mr_Owen> I really think I should have been born Asian. Being
  white sucks, anyway, and I don t like country music or
  tailgating or alcohol or owning engineless trucks or never
  mowing my lawn or not wearing a shirt or screwing fat chicks
  at all. So I ve been trying to come up with a word for someone
  who s white on the outside, but yellow in the inside.
  <mirasaki> Like the opposite of Twinkie?
  <Mr_Owen> Yeah. Exactly.
  <mirasaki> Well, what d you come up with?
  <Mr_Owen> I don t know. The only thing I could think of was a
  toilet  And once I thought about that, damned if I could get
  it out of my head.
  <mirasaki> You re storing information endlessly! You really
  are Asian!


