# quote

date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910548
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276482
text:
  [@Archmage_Anasyn]: FUCKING HELL MICROSOFT ARE GAY
  [+Mr_Day]: Can a company be gay?
  [+Mr_Day]: Will it only sleep with other monopolies?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276530
text:
  <StrScream> jeremy: as long as you're going postal, can you
  find out why I haven't gotten any mail for 3 days?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276576
text:
  <SSilver2k> he worked on a server called Servix in a college,
  he asked this girl to log into her "servix" terminal...you can
  see how that conversation went.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276677
text:
  <RikI> Havent had sex in sooooooo long
  <RikI> It's gotten to the point where i masturbate thinking of
  other times i masturbated.
  <Vorm> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276788
text:
  <Slant> dpkg -i kernel-image-2.4.18_kami.1.0_i386.deb
  <Sam|foo> ok
  <Slant> ok, reboot.
  <Sam|foo> brb
  * Slant nods.
  <-- Sam|foo has quit (QUIT: User exited)
  <FlipTopBox> sucka.  he's doomed, isn't he.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276837
text:
  * hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
  <shawnporn> is that german?
  <hals> it is
  <shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276881
text:
  <tima> my opinion always was that having a webcam is the first
  step to getting caught mastrubation


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.276948
text:
  <drdink> WaL-_-MarT: I used to know how to do an overhead page
  in your store
  <WaL-_-MarT> cool, drdink..
  <drdink> actually what you do
  <drdink> is you take walmart's employee phone off the pole
  <drdink> and go get a portable phone from the electronics
  department
  <drdink> and plug it in to the pole
  <drdink> and you can walk around the store
  <drdink> and they can't catch you
  <drdink> just don't leave, or its stealing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277045
text:
  <The_Spaniard> The only good part of American Idol is laughing
  at the auditions
  <The_Spaniard> Ha ha girl fliping out
  <The_Spaniard> girl lost 80 pounds and was told she sucked
  <[P]aradox> Spaniard, she does suck... only difference is, now
  she spits instead of swallowing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277104
text:
  <InSoc> DEAR INVESTORS: HOW NOT TO MAKE STOCKS GO DOWN: _STOP
  SELLING STUFF_
  <InSoc> Heh.
  <Destruya> That can only be done by incredibly large amounts
  of trading
  <MrEnthusiasm> it doesnt help that a bunch of big companies
  are going down in flames so people panic and sell thinking
  others will also burn and in fact promote them to die as well
  <quatoria> there's every reason for investors to think other
  companies will burn
  <quatoria> the recent accounting problems are indicitive of a
  much larger decay within corporate america, and investors know
  it.
  <quatoria> they also know bush trying to present himself as a
  corporate reformer is a total frigging joke.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277154
text:
  <Pocket_Sized_Jesus> aw shit.
  <Pocket_Sized_Jesus> i was deleteing some files
  <Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and i sneezed
  <Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and deleted an entire tree


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277195
text:
  Strategy: what the fuck
  Strategy: shipping cannot be 27$
  Alpha: it better come in a wooden crate with a midget cradling
  the harddrive for that price


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277256
text:
  <+darthpony> geez dude
  <+darthpony> with my last gf
  <+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip
  <+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I
  wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please"
  <+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you
  fucking bitch"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277303
text:
  *** WindDrake has quit IRC (well, LadyDrake awaits. «~{Polaris
  IRC}~» v2.03 Alpha)
  <|Ender|> ohh look Winds gonna go masturbate
  <smcn> yeh, ladydrake is a weirdass name for a penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277398
text:
  <Jallak> Now, see, what you've done is just given me this
  mental image of this prepubescent girl dressed as a boy on
  stage, addressing the audience and telling them "Tinkerbell
  thinks she might become well again if little children
  believed  in sex"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277450
text:
  <Awaken> this is pissing me off
  <Awaken> i have some windows updates that just HAVE to restart
  my fucking computer
  <{RANT}> :(
  * MaxPower (M4dMaX@ool-182f05ac.dyn.optonline.net) Quit
  (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
  * {Bitch} (~yeah@cpe-069-134-207-100.nc.res.rr.com) Quit
  (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
  * aliensoup (~aliensoup@heimdal.complx.net) Quit (hub.efnet.us
  ircd.he.net)
  * Jing|es (Jingles@cpe-24-167-108-167.satx.res.rr.com) Quit
  (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
  * Ladywork
  (victoria.r@host86-140-223-138.range86-140.btcentralplus.com)
  Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
  * TostigAFK (~Tostig@ip68-8-64-254.sd.sd.cox.net) Quit
  (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
  <Mr_Power> his computer is the EFnet server?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277526
text:
  <Fire_Elemental-x-> Interviews suck in general
  <apathy> I dunno...
  <apathy> I used to like conducting them :)
  <Fire_Elemental-x-> all that "where do you see yourself in 10
  years" and "what are your strengths and weaknesses" crap
  <apathy> heh, my questions were more along the lines of "tell
  me everything you know about the keyword 'const'"
  <Fire_Elemental-x-> Next time someone asks me a 10 years
  question I'm gonna say "Where you are sitting"
  <apathy> heh, then add "No wait, I thought you said 10
  months."
  <Fire_Elemental-x-> heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277576
text:
  <weeflig> i had a dream last night that i could switch back
  and forth between being me and a superhot girl by changing
  between two pairs of pants in the changing room at target
  <Hallucination> ...
  <Hallucination> lets not even break that one down
  <Syntacs> Do you remember which changing room?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277626
text:
  <@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer
  packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation
  together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i
  find Myst install directions with my computer stuff
  <@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277682
text:
  <punkomatic> so i saw superman last nite...not only did it
  suck, but it was super predictable and super emotionless.
  <youSuck> Well of course it was emotionless. if superman
  showed his super feelings, he'd be emo-man
  <youSuck> lol "I'm EmoMan! my tears of Justice will destroy
  you!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277774
text:
  <PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail
  filter to deal with
  employee farewell notices.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277832
text:
  <Liam> my sister had friends over and of course she likes to
  look cool in front of them by doing funny stuff
  <Liam> so i had just come back to my room from eating
  <Liam> and i decided to whack it
  <Liam> and i hopped on my bed and unzipped quietly
  <Liam> and then i just hear this laughing
  <Liam> and i sit up
  <Liam> and i realize my sister is _under my bed_
  <Liam> i zipped back up before she got out and noticed,
  screamed at her and kicked her out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277928
text:
  <kanin> if (User->HasAppropriateBook()) { while (User->
  LacksClue()) { User->ReadAppropriateBook(); } }
  else { while(User->HasNotGottenAppripriateBook()) {User->
  StumbleAroundHalfAssedInTheDark(); User->WhineOnIRC(); } }


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.277975
text:
  <Cassara> Oh! and the open trenchcoat. But usually Zan is
  like. Black slaves, button down shirts, overcoats and stuff.
  lesse who else..
  <Doom> ...Black Slaves.. Nice fashion accessory


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278019
text:
  <bigs-:#rap> what is a good website? im trying to find a
  picture with someone who has platinum or gold teeth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278070
text:
  <[ESF]Pcjoe2> who the fuck is using my name?
  <[ESF]Pcjoe2> wait..
  <[ESF]Pcjoe2> im using my own name >.<
  * [ESF]Pcjoe2 has quit IRC
  <[ESF]Pcjoe> hehe:-)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278116
text:
  <@Headknocker> what happens when 5 emos sit in a square room?
  <@Headknocker> one dies because he has no corner to cry in :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278257
text:
  <FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
  <sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
  <DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278304
text:
  <[JAPS]aL3x> I heard [JAPS]KingKhai had sex with his teacher..
  only problem was, he was home schooled.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278373
text:
  <SinclairC> Anyone been to Taco Bell lately?
  <Piccolo> No. I hate mexican. :]
  <SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Mexican, it's Taco Bell
  <Piccolo> No. I hate Taco Bell. :]
  <SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Taco Bell, it's hamburgers
  <Piccolo> No. I hate Hamburgers. :] Cheeseburgers are a
  different matter.
  <SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't hamburgers, it's Dragonball Z
  <Piccolo> Damm you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278440
text:
  <Marecki> Ahh. Sorry. Thought you made "sickening" as in
  "making you want to puke"
  <Dr_Octogon> lol
  <noid|drunk> Well, it does make you want to puke.
  <noid|drunk> And cry, and laugh.
  <noid|drunk> And shit.
  <Dr_Octogon> and shit?
  <noid|drunk> And shit = and stuff
  <noid|drunk> Not "HUUUUUUUUUUHNNNNNNNNGH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278484
text:
  <Ash> KIEV, Ukraine (AP) -- A Ukrainian candy company has
  begun marketing what may be the stickiest, richest and most
  fattening holiday treat on the market: pure pork fat covered
  in chocolate.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278532
text:
  <Leon> lol @ The Register
  <Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
  <Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278574
text:
  SynAdam: whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall?
  Kato: ...what?
  SynAdam: my dick while im doing it
  Kato: ....
  SynAdam: get it?
  Kato: what in the FUCK is wrong with you?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278627
text:
  <Axlar`cleaning> shhhhh
  <pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a
  sound?
  <Wey> crunch?
  <Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
  <Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278675
text:
  < Scribble> Must be interesting to live with the animal that
  ruined your life.
  < Scribble> ...
  < Scribble> Ask any married guy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278731
text:
  <GD[IceCream]> brb, eating ice cream and blueberries. ^_^
  <The_Ayatollah> blueberries piss me off
  <The_Ayatollah> if you step on one, they're not even friggin'
  blue
  <The_Ayatollah> lying bastard fruits


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278778
text:
  <gangstagurl> u wanna fuck with me then lets take it to the
  streets u little hore u woludnt last two seconds
  <comfort> nor would you, in a library


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278870
text:
  <CoMBo> so for job titles, i should put Wholesale Distributor,
  Bookkeeping and ...what goes here
  <jube> Village Idiot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.278915
text:
  <Konami> Washing makes my vagina smell less strong. Going
  several days with no washing results in a more pungent vagina.
  Most people could probably have guessed that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279010
text:
  <h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT
  WHAT I'M
  WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279060
text:
  <kim-> pat youve had your share of irc fucks
  <ultrafunk> yeah like 3
  <ultrafunk> 2 i never saw again
  <thebigo> why, did you take them off /notify?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279109
text:
  <eva> hey guys, guess what im eating right now!
  <Ed> big black cocks dripping with pearly semen.
  <eva> starts with a 3
  <Ed> three big black cocks dripping with pearly semen.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279166
text:
  <Malevolyn> last night i was at chili's and i got a big
  sandwich that had a big knife. so i went to cut my sandwich
  and started chanting 'knife knife knife knife'
  <Malevolyn> and the waitress came by and took my knife...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279213
text:
  aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be?
  AgentScrewball: russian
  AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i
  say


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279837
text:
  <timmo> what music should i download tonight
  <timmo> oh shit
  <timmo> i think im missing the carebears;[
  <c-rOCK> CAREBEARS IS STILL ON?
  <c-rOCK> NO WAY WHAT CHAN
  <timmo> toon disney
  <c-rOCK> dude I loved that show


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279888
text:
  <@jeric> If i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x
  chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be
  masturbation, or incest?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279934
text:
  Psyche: My roommate and her boyfriend broke up recently.
  Psyche: This morning a moving truck came to get the
  boyfriend's stuff.
  Psyche: On the side of the moving truck? It was an ad for a
  disaster cleanup company.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.279991
text:
  <|Chris> i'm very pro-hiv
  <|Chris> damn disease discrimination
  <|Chris> why are people so prejudiced against HIV?
  <|Chris> people are down with hepatitis and shit
  <|Chris> but they're so full of hate for HIV


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280041
text:
  <ic0n0> i love the midwest
  <NecroMort> ilke gurls with big fat titties.
  <ic0n0> what does that have to do with the midwest?
  <polar> you have something against titties?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280089
text:
  <BabyDuck> i fucked my wrists playing a pinball game on my PC
  <BabyDuck> but I played like 400 games, which would cost $100
  at the arcade. I bought the game for $15, so I have saved $85
  so far


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280331
text:
  <jman2050> I'm not a fan of the software direction Sony is
  taking with the PS3
  <jman2050> but the console itself is good
  <Davidion> I swear they're just chock full of bad business
  decisions as of late
  * Shinobi_Arsenal (123@dork-F08770BF.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #
  GA
  <Davidion> even when they take a good step forward they can't
  but help to take one back
  <Shinobi_Arsenal> can only be talking about sony
  <Davidion> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280383
text:
  * Sep mst find a working free ISP for gods sack
  <BlazeHedgehogAdvance> God's Sack? Isn't that..
  <BlazeHedgehogAdvance> Sack-religious?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280462
text:
  <MakoClause> shit
  <MakoClause> i am so dead
  <MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham
  <MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a
  sandwhich
  <MakoClause> but i liberated too much
  <Zappy-Holidays> dude
  <Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper
  <Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals
  <Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit
  <Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge*
  <Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink*
  <MakoClause> dude
  <MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham
  <Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM
  <Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER
  <MakoClause> I DID NOT FUCK THE HAM!
  <Zappy-Holidays> UR FAMILY WILL EAT YOUR SEAMEN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280562
text:
  <SaraMarie> the houston texans
  <SaraMarie> how original
  <toast_> do they have an open container as a mascot?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280613
text:
  (robbie-a): i have a cordless mouse and keyboard
  (robbie-a): and a wireless A/V transmitter
  (Sinada): great
  (Sinada): i have a 9 inch cock
  (Sinada): but i don't brag
  (Kuros): Sinada: you lying sack of crap
  (Sinada): well yeah you're right
  (Sinada): it's 10
  (robbie-a): i have a 2 inch cock


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280662
text:
  <@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it
  bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer"
  setting and it just uninstalled itself.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280719
text:
  <Mr_Vain> that reminds me of an anti-abortion sticker I saw
  once: "Being a former fetus, I'm against abortion."
  <TheXPhial> being a former one celled organism, I'm against
  menstruation..not much I can do about it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280809
text:
  <balls>  OMFG
  <balls>  telemarketer calls today, offering me a piece of crap
  credit card.  i said hold on, i'll get my mom
  <balls>  i wait about 20 seconds then play never gonna give
  you up.
  <balls>  they hung up after about a minute of screaming
  "hello?  hello?  hello?"
  <balls>  i rickroll'd a fucking telemarketer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280903
text:
  <prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW!
  PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO!  SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR
  THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT
  MUSIC: NIN]"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.280995
text:
  [@DAWG^] song lyrics containing the word "heart" - replace the
  word with "arse"
  [@Chisler] hmmm, interesting idea
  [@DAWG^] for example:
  [@DAWG^] Celine Dion - my arse will go on
  [@DAWG^] Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the arse
  [@DAWG^] Kylie Minogue - Hand on your arse
  [@DAWG^] Deee-Lite - Groove is in the arse
  [@DAWG^] Rod Stewart - You are in my arse
  [@DAWG^] Britney Spears - Deep in my arse
  [@Chisler] Eurythmics - there must be an angel playing with my
  arse
  [@DAWG^] w00t ^^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281047
text:
  <Renzian> ahh i just swallowed a quarter
  <ChrisAFK[motfR3]> ...
  <ChrisAFK[motfR3]> You swallowed a coin?
  <Aspect> You only have to be worried if you shit out two dimes
  and a nickel.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281097
text:
  <icas0r> somsone do a stats on decoded
  <icas0r> i think he a fed =[
  <rightie> nah feds only have Netzero for their isp
  <rightie> they cut back on funding


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281142
text:
  (|{KomienD) Who has a crack for Spider-Man?
  (paper_bag) who has english lessons in an hour?
  (vital|wrk) who has to work right now
  (paper_bag) who let the dogs out
  (nexxai) Who is getting pussy tonight?
  (paper_bag) im getting hand
  (nexxai) [paper_bag]: jerking yourself off doesn't count
  (paper_bag) blast :(
  (paper_bag) guess i can give back grandma her lotion, i wont
  be getting any l33t points tonight


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281198
text:
  <vahnsin> A bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer
  and . . . . a packet of peanuts." The barman says "Why the big
  pause?"
  <NikEy> it took me literally 20 minutes to fucking understand
  this joke goddammit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910573
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281282
text:
  <mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my
  day off
  <Homeworld> but playing games is awesome
  <mocker> I wanna play RL sometime
  <Homeworld> rl is boring
  <Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades.
  <mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much
  harder to get
  <mocker> and not as fun
  <Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain
  XP and GP.
  <mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit
  <Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about
  'em.
  <Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income
  producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how
  to do that skillset."
  <mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910573
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281382
text:
  <RustySpoon> Hahaha... I just came back from Phlanges
  girlfriend.
  <Phloam> Wtf were you doing there? ffs man have some respect
  <RustySpoon> Let\'s just say she was glad to see me
  * Phlange is now afk
  <RustySpoon> fuck when did he log on?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281477
text:
  <J>: Why is there porn all over the place??
  <M>: Are you kidding? Ever since my mom moved out, my dad has
  been throwing that
  shit around like confetti.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281525
text:
  <Zeon> and ya i have a bottle of brut, that stuff smells like
  crap, i only bought it cus the playboy ad said it would get me
  sex... anothr broken promise :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281570
text:
  Ericjericj: bunny is a funny word
  Ericjericj: funny bunny
  Ericjericj: bunnybunnybunny
  Ericjericj: funnyfunnyfunnybunnybunnybunny
  Ericjericj: bunnyfunnybunnyfunnybunnyfunny
  PeyoteGuacomole: You got into my meth again, didn't you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281620
text:
  <uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that
  my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
  <Jan__> mmm braized testicle
  <Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
  <Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
  * uneasier runs away


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281682
text:
  <Stevus> my pass is 6 letters long
  <Stevus> random letters i've memorized ;D
  <Dragon_Tear> kewl
  <LockeJV|goPadres> it's s-t-e-v-u-s
  <Stevus> nah
  <Stevus> it's iakeuk
  <Stevus> er
  <Stevus> fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281731
text:
  <Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
  <The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry
  Maguire.
  <The_Frymaster> You pervert.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281777
text:
  * Toke_ waits for pills to kick in
  <Linguica> toke have you been toking
  * Toke_ wonders why his desk is sticky
  <Linguica> toke have you been stroking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281905
text:
  *** Sharyna (sharyna_t@BV1-24.217.72.16.charter-stl.com) Quit
  (herring.sandwich.net tempura.sandwich.net)
  *** Sharyna (sharyna_t@BV1-24.217.72.16.charter-stl.com) has
  joined #improfanfic
  <Sharyna> Tempura ate *me*!  ;-;


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.281997
text:
  l70uke: network connections says it cant find an IP address
  dbbolton: open a web browser and type 192.168.1.1 in the
  address bar
  dbbolton: what happens
  l70uke: "please enter disk into drive a"
  dbbolton: what the FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282089
text:
  <@FoX> for the record
  <@FoX> she never cybered me
  <@FoX> i cybered her
  <@FoX> :D
  <@FoX> oh yeh....did i forget to mention i kept gettign the
  message no such Nick/Channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282134
text:
  jeremy rockz: im slowly unbuttoning your blouse, then i rip
  off your bra, and start to suck on one of your nipples while
  fondling the other, im getting hard now, and start to unzip my
  pants
  jeremy rockz: shit
  jeremy rockz: wrong window
  KrazeGuy04: omg! too late! keep going!
  jeremy rockz: wow'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282185
text:
  <AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and
  spray down other drivers.
  <AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're
  driving drunk.
  <AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282243
text:
  <@Campbell> I saw the best thing today... I was around at a
  mates place and these Jehovah's Witnesses came around
  preaching their shit
  <@Campbell> So my mate invites them in and sits down and
  offers them pizza and cookies.
  <@Campbell> After about 15 minutes they left very happy.
  <@Campbell> We spotted them about an hour later lying in a
  park staring at the sky
  <@Campbell> I guess those hash cookies and that magic mushie
  pizza really did its job.
  <@Campbell> Who said drugs were bad?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282287
text:
  (blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I
  masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be
  incest?
  (mortiis) no
  (mortiis) idiot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282345
text:
  <@PakiSpice> missy elliot bothers me
  <fromtheashes> that video where she wore a garbage bag scared
  the bejesus outta me
  <fromtheashes> im a supa fly, supa dupa fly
  <@PakiSpice> yea
  <@PakiSpice> i think it left me somewhat scarred
  <fromtheashes> why don't you supa dupa fly your fat ass out of
  a 4th story window
  <fromtheashes> and stop giving me nightmares


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282397
text:
  <wild> i just asked a girl out
  <wild> been 6 minutes no reply :|
  <wild> maybe icq wasn't the way to go


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282450
text:
  <SailorAirman> everything is always more enjoyable when it's
  free
  <Tatumaru> not really
  <Tatumaru> I got raped once
  <Tatumaru> but I'd rather pay for a hooker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282503
text:
  <@Tezz[a]> My Daddy got a paper shredder for Father's Day
  <@Tezz[a]> Guess what's happening to all my school notes? >:D
  <@Giess> We got ours a barbecue.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282565
text:
  <seaslug> the amish pick wierd names for their towns
  <seaslug> for example, i've been to intercourse, pennsylvania
  <ctkrohn> If there was a town named "sex" in Maine, it would
  be written on am envelope as Sex ME
  <seaslug> it goes without saying that i've never been to
  intercourse
  <bpt> "How did your trip go?" "I never made it to Orgasm"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282619
text:
  <MadHatter> I'm going to buy one of those stormtrooper outfits
  from return of the jedu
  <MadHatter> jedi
  <MadHatter> and ride mine through the woods, weaving through
  trees
  <enex> and look like a complete tool


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282719
text:
  * jasn_78 then sucks ur clit as finger ur wet tight pussy
  * hot_gurl_4_u grabs hold of your cock harder, moaning louder
  and louder, until finally her anus can take no more and she
  accidentally shits on your hair
  <hot_gurl_4_u> hehe, sorry ;)
  <jasn_78> yuck
  <hot_gurl_4_u> sorry, its a medical problem :(
  <-- jasn_78 has quit (Exit: )


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282766
text:
  <kt> i need a job, badly.
  <kt> maybe i should hang out with some black people
  <kt> i mean go to the unemployment office.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282871
text:
  <ZephyrX> she's "barely legal"
  <[SOHK]FATTY> i think i balled a 16 yr old this summer
  <[SOHK]FATTY> she said that she was 18
  <[SOHK]FATTY> i dont think so
  <[SOHK]FATTY> she looked young in the morn
  <ZephyrX> did she say "oops i'm late for class"
  <[SOHK]FATTY> no
  <[SOHK]FATTY> she said
  <[SOHK]FATTY> can u drive me to school
  <ZephyrX> lol
  <[SOHK]FATTY> hehe
  <[SOHK]FATTY> and when i did
  <[SOHK]FATTY> it said  Jr.. on the school


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282918
text:
  <ScratGOD> dude some guy was fucking me in the ass last night
  and reached around and grabbed my cock. I got up and said
  "what the fuck, do you think im gay or something?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.282991
text:
  <badfysh> if you are cute i will buy you some more
  <badfysh> :P
  <badfysh> are there any good looking women that chat here?
  <elister> dude
  <elister> give it up
  <elister> go to AOL
  <elister> do not pass go
  <jul-> lol
  <badfysh> ok
  *** badfysh has left #seattle
  <elister> LOL!
  <RSV> heh
  <elister> I won!!!
  <jul-> crap that actually works?!?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283039
text:
  <Seth> lots of folks from Washington in here
  <ProfessorEvil> yeah they don't have sheep up there so they
  log into chat instead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283090
text:
  <pleb> hey how long does it take to get back the results from
  a fertility test?
  <Ouroboros> Do you have a girlfriend?
  <pleb> yeah
  <Ouroboros> 9 months.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283136
text:
  <Cassara> Linux is like anal sex. It hurts quite a bit at
  first but then you really like it. And while you stick with
  it, theres still some aches and pains afterwards.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283283
text:
  <^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
  <^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
  <^bat-sai> when i was 13
  <^bat-sai> i was mocked
  <^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were
  there to play baseball on the snes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283436
text:
  <@gongoputch> so my 12 year old has been BEGGING me for a
  minecraft server. I told him 'OK', he said YEA!', I say 'but
  you have to install the OS (FreeBSD), configure it, set up a
  jail and generally learn enough to admin it.
  <@gongoputch> he hates me now
  <@gongoputch> BUT - he got it running :)
  <@gongoputch> after it was going, he looked up at me and said
  'This OS is the logical thing I have ever seen'
  <@gongoputch> ... it's little moments like those ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283485
text:
  edRigo: she "Fell asleep with him" according to Marshall
  edRigo: I assume that means they fucked, but you never know
  with him
  BallastMan: from now i'll call you "dr ambiguous unless
  pressed for details"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283578
text:
  <TheDingo> OH SHIT.. i was supposed to read the communist
  manifesto for political science..
  <Novasol> just read a Windows manual. same thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283670
text:
  <splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and
  keith richards
  <splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine
  voltron


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283726
text:
  <Pbob> you know what would be awesome
  <Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower
  <Pbob> And then gas them
  <Pbob> With that funny voice stuff
  <Pbob> HAHA
  <Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy
  cartoon charatcers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283814
text:
  Ebyan: Dude, Yahoo! Monopoly would be the absolute shit
  HolyViper7: Yahoo! Bukkake would be the absolute shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283874
text:
  <reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front
  door, then running away
  <reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up
  some electricity to the doorknob
  <cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
  <cristobal> and heat up the door knob
  <cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story
  foyer
  <cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public
  eye.....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283924
text:
  <Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to
  always say "Uh huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.283977
text:
  <Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a
  overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and
  fan
  <@Beaver> omg dude
  <Nirtose> thats right
  * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im
  married)
  * Nirtose has joined #beaver
  <Nirtose> :(
  * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284029
text:
  <FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
  <Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one
  hefty bill.
  <marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284074
text:
  <Thund3r> I just thought of something ... since its year of
  the monkey does that mean GW Bush will get re-elected?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284123
text:
  <b00st> the average american pussy takes half a mile of dick
  every year
  <CaSti||o> damn negroes
  <CaSti||o> thatslike 5 of them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284181
text:
  <_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
  <foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty
  continent and just left them there to die
  <foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
  <foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
  <FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284229
text:
  <clippy>  11:21pm  up 42 days, 49 min,  2 users,  load
  average: 0.03, 0.04, 0.00
  <clippy> do you know how long it took me to get that uptime?
  <Apollo-> clippy: About 42 days


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284363
text:
  <Cardsfan> ethan - do u know by any chance how to get rid of
  something out of dev manager in windows xp?  it says it cannot
  delete it because it may be required for the computer to boot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284414
text:
  <narcotiKz> sent: could be his blinker pistons
  <narcotiKz> i heard the blinker master cylinder goes bad on
  those things
  <narcotiKz> i think factory did a recall
  <taig3R> where do blinker pistons go and how much they cost?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284508
text:
  <Vision> you never know the true meaning of pacman til you are
  underaged driving around after curfew with an expired license
  plate and a broken tailight


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284600
text:
  <r0bert> you are officially a complete and utter moron.
  <Evil_Girl_55> no u are beacause moran is spelled m-o-r-a-n u
  dope


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284701
text:
  <irzyxel> RANDY !
  <irzyxel> long time no see !
  <irzyxel> hows the kids
  <Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284795
text:
  <Asmodee`> ibm said they were investing 1 billion $ into open
  source projects
  <DAL9000> Asmodee`: do you know what happens when you invest
  money in opensource projects?
  <DAL9000> NOTHING! it buys the coders some beer, nachos, and
  porn to watch instead of coding.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284846
text:
  <m[e]ntor> Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless
  lan cable?
  <insight> Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never
  will be invented"-department or something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284889
text:
  join: (RIAArep) (LucerinRd@128.163.205.182)
  (+Xelopheri) ::: Metallica - The Call of Ktulu : 8:53 :
  128kbps : Joint Stereo :::.
  (+Xelopheri) oh shit!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284937
text:
  zhiryst: its what p2p is all about
  zhiryst: i just leave it on overnight
  zhiryst: let people take shit from me
  zhiryst: i take shit from them
  zhiryst: p2p is just a variety of communism
  djnogo 4: haha
  djnogo 4: you sure?
  djnogo 4: i picture it more as a circle jerk :-)
  zhiryst: yeah, but who's getting bukakeed?
  zhiryst: the RIAA?
  djnogo 4: bingo :-)
  zhiryst: A HAHAHAHA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.284986
text:
  <Cyberllam> I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Honk if
  you think I am doing an excellant job driving." Then I can cut
  people off and they won't know what to do.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285051
text:
  [Gnimish is working out how to go home to usa from austria for
  christmas]
  * Gnimsh is frustrated by airlines
  <PeterPowell> lol
  <PeterPowell> dont fly?
  <Gnimsh> should I swim back?
  <Gnimsh> take a train?
  <Gnimsh> DRIVE?!
  <sari> boat?
  <Gnimsh> wrong season
  <Gnimsh> I looked on 3 different sites.
  <PeterPowell> why not stay where you are..?:p
  <Gnimsh> visa's up on the 25th of july
  <Gnimsh> if they deport me for free, sure


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285116
text:
  <Digested> nothing like coming back to irc after a night of
  partying
  <Digested> and nothing like partying on a monday night and
  then driving home at the same time as everyone is driving to
  work
  <Digested> and laughing at them
  <Digested> :D
  <MadHatter> Not everyone can live with their parents
  <Digested> that's why i'm taking advantage of the situation
  while i still can
  <Digested> the main problem with sharing a house with parents
  is bringing a girl home
  <Digested> but it isn't really a problem for me... heh
  <MadHatter> hehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285158
text:
  [+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think
  everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
  [+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that
  everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
  [%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make
  lego


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285251
text:
  <diktatormike_> that's the tao of machines....corect one
  problem only to see 3 more underlying problems
  <Vlad902> I know, wtf, that's what happened in 1969, they
  found a bug in ls and ended up with Windows...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285303
text:
  <stormin> what's asl?
  <Xiautau> age/sex/location
  <Xiautau> teen channels have that shit
  <Xiautau> not that i go to teen channels


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285351
text:
  <Metl>Anyone else notice that the dude who claims he killed
  that Ramsey girl looks extremely similar to the g-man?
  <Metl>I suddenly no longer have the urge to play HL anymore...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285411
text:
  <Mat> all chicks are whores, they just charge differently
  <Tippytoes> mat do you have a girlfriend?
  <Mat> what do you think ;)
  <NuTCAsE> i havn't heard him use the word bitch recently
  <NuTCAsE> so i'm going with "no"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910598
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285503
text:
  <@doggie^> argh ffs
  <@doggie^> just downloaded a 12mb program
  <@doggie^> now im downloading a 22mb update


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285602
text:
  <Zyrjello> E-mail from my comp sci professor:
  <Zyrjello> I want to be clear on this point, because several
  <Zyrjello> people have asked me.
  <Zyrjello> The release of HALO3, tonight, does NOT qualify
  <Zyrjello> as a religious holiday.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285666
text:
  -!- marlies [~m@81.132.2.190] has joined #gamesoc
  < marlies> ello all
  < Jops> welcome to the tumbleweed zone
  < kev> o.
  < kev>     'o
  < kev>                 `o
  < kev>                                 o'
  < marlies>
  o,
  < kev> congratulations, you have won tonights star prize!
  -!- marlies [~m@81.132.2.190] has quit [Client Quit]
  < kev> freedom from irc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285714
text:
  <orion> I JUST HAD A RANDOM ETHNIC DRESSING MOMENT
  <orion> I PUT A TURBAN ON, SOME JEWELS, AND DANCED TO HATTEN
  AR DIN
  <orion> back to starcraft editing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285763
text:
  Tridao: i got 100%
  Tridao: :D
  Xeero: On what?
  Tridao: the iq test
  Xeero: ...
  Tridao:  100% of what/
  Xeero: Did it give you a number?
  Xeero: That says
  Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
  Tridao: 100%...:(
  Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285812
text:
  [23:07] <Wiiseguy> BBL (School.)
  [23:07] <IceSynergyIX> seeya
  [23:08] <Wiiseguy> Back (Education is for suckers.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285870
text:
  <tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
  <tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
  <tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
  <tydel> kind of a conversation ender


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.285961
text:
  <Baybee_Gurl> that wuz so awesome last night
  <Baybee_Gurl> i had a great time
  <SiCkNeSsS> says:  yea... me too
  <Baybee_Gurl> if you're interested i'm willing to do it again
  ;)
  <SiCkNeSsS> mm hmm
  <Baybee_Gurl> yea
  <Baybee_Gurl> ...
  <Baybee_Gurl> is something bothering you?
  <Baybee_Gurl> because your acting weird
  <SiCkNeSsS> it's nothing
  <Baybee_Gurl> tell me
  <SiCkNeSsS> dont worry 'bout it
  <Baybee_Gurl> tell me plz
  <Baybee_Gurl> plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  <Baybee_Gurl> .........
  <Baybee_Gurl> come on just tell me
  <Baybee_Gurl> i wont care
  <SiCkNeSsS> fine if you put it that way
  <Baybee_Gurl> okay so tell me!!
  <SiCkNeSsS> if you fucking get pregnant i am so dumping your
  ass
  <Baybee_Gurl> .....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286058
text:
  <briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy.
  My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
  <sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286114
text:
  <DrLickies> Anyone who wants to fight me, I'll be at Yonge and
  College in like 25 minutes
  <capitan0> don't homos hang at yonge and college ?
  <DrLickies> No, I think they hang a couple of blocks east
  <DrLickies> But maybe some homosexuals hang there
  <smackhead> DrLickles- homosexuals will be hanging there in 25
  minutes, apparently


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286183
text:
  <guyen> holy shit i'm not going to be home this weekend, i
  have an online exam i have to take, but i'll be in LA
  <guyen> there's a wedding going on so i won't be able to
  exactly just do it at my relative's house
  <guyen> i'm looking for cybercafes and crap, the only thing i
  can find is some place called Yogi's Cyber Hut
  <guyen> holy fuck i can't believe i'm depending on Yogi for my
  midterm grade
  <xan> at least he's smarter than the average bear


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286289
text:
  <Ich> I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or
  riled up by racism
  <Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes
  <Ich> nor feminism, nazism,
  <Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl
  <Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody
  <Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than
  PC's, things get ugly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286350
text:
  <Firehawk> so, in english class, we had to write this paper
  <Firehawk> and my friend wrote in it "I don't like rapping",
  as in music
  <Firehawk> only, when he typed it up, he typoed and it came
  out "I don't like raping"
  <Firehawk> so my english teacher wrote "that's good to know"
  on his paper


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286405
text:
  --> cue_ball (~que_impor@a66b91n118client144.hawaii.rr.com)
  has joined #WOPN
  <cue_ball> does anyone know a channel on any server where they
  trade books?
  <Han_Skywalker> nope, not me
  <^_sdh_^> book warez heh
  <cue_ball> any ideas on what server to look?
  <CKH> cue_ball: i hear amazon.com is setting up a irc channel
  for book warez
  <cue_ball> ok thanx


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286468
text:
  <Tuxishimo> The old bus station toilets were closed down
  because people were wiping shit on the toilet paper.
  <Tuxishimo> Then throwing it at the wall.
  <GM-Mark> ew..
  <GM-Mark> why would they do that?
  <Tuxishimo> Fun?
  <GM-Mark> is that customary in Britain?
  <Tuxishimo> Yes. It's part of immigration too.
  <Tuxishimo> You stand there.
  <Tuxishimo> And have shit thrown at you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286537
text:
  <Laura_ken> ameeeerrrrr
  <amer> why do people do that
  <amer> why can't you do "amer: this is my question blah blah
  blah?"
  <amer> why do you have to wait for a response
  <Rhayde> lol
  <amer> goddamit i'm here, ask your question
  <amer> or say what you have to say
  <amer> jesus
  * amer throws up his hands and leaves the room
  <amer> well?
  *** Exekiel (ZelementZ@192.168.100.101) has joined #lineage
  <Exekiel> AMER
  <amer> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286593
text:
  <Torke> and now
  <Torke> my dad's get a quad for his birthday
  <Torke> he's turning 50
  <Grimp> don't let him near the rocket launcher


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286648
text:
  <ic3n3t> there is a bunch of girls playing soccer in the park
  <uberartsyboi> im coming over.
  <ic3n3t> i think they are 15
  <ic3n3t> pedophile!
  <uberartsyboi> im shaving the goatee then coming over.
  <ic3n3t> i'll get the lawn chairs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286801
text:
  <^sWift> omfg
  <^sWift> this shit is horrible
  <^sWift> McDonalds now offering a free music download with the
  purchase of a Big Mac Extra Value Meal
  <^sWift> "an average of 12 songs on a CD, so that's about 7200
  calories you will need to consume in order to get an album's
  worth of music"
  <^sWift> ahaha
  <^sWift> People are willing to slowly kill themselves for free
  mp3s


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286860
text:
  × Snakeyes (Snakeyes@66.227.169.205) joined #help
  <Snakeyes> anyone here the master of "DEATH OF A SALESMAN" i
  gotta answer 25 questions about it in 15 minutes!
  <@dewx> i know i didn't watch it!
  <@dewx> (isn't it a movie?)
  <Snakeyes> its a play
  <phoq> the salesman dies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286908
text:
  <daem0n_> i got new car radio the other day, its pretty cool.
  you shout soul and it plays soul, you shout rock and it plays
  rock. the other day some kids ran past my car and i yelled
  "FUCKING KIDS" and it played michael jackson.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.286963
text:
  <poo_al> i used to have "bromothymol blue" in my memory
  buffer.
  <poo_al> then i copied the girlskissing url
  <poo_al> and pasted that into my lab
  <poo_al> too bad i found it
  <poo_al> my teacher would have given me a 110% if i left it in
  :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287015
text:
  <Sart> WASHINGTON   The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will
  decide if public libraries can be forced to install software
  that blocks sexually explicit Web sites, the latest in
  Congress' string of attempts to shield children from Internet
  pornography.
  <Dark-e> ack
  <Dark-e> why would anyone goto a libary
  <Dark-e> if that passed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287066
text:
  <atariboy84> I'm a little discouraged, I went to match.com and
  typed "sane." It came back "sorry, no results."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287112
text:
  * ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another
  silent victim of constipation
  <gothik> shit happens
  <Adam^> not for him.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287162
text:
  <skunko> my standards for chicks right now are super low
  <skunko> i'd go out with a chick as long as she wasnt fat, was
  shorter than me, and was going to get me off in some fashion


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287212
text:
  <DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
  <DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287258
text:
  [ Smitten ] My computer just asked me if i wanted to install
  'Icons for blind users'....
  [ Smitten ] HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?!!?!?!?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287313
text:
  <CaMR0N> why does everyone call me cumron?
  <drunkers> probably and honest mistake
  <CaMR0N> but everyone?
  <drunkers> did you tell them you were gay?
  <CaMR0N> yes cause im honest with everyone
  <drunkers> maybe its not an honest mistake


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287360
text:
  <bytraper> well.. you know what they say
  <bytraper> if you drink and drive your a bloody idiot, if you
  make it home, your a fuckin legend


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287412
text:
  <pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to
  my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it
  was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did
  you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287463
text:
  <cooey> i jerked off at work in the sink in the bathroom
  yesterday
  <cooey> everytime someone came in to pay for gas, id run out
  of the bathroom with this huge buldge in the miiddle of my
  pants
  <cooey> it owned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287526
text:
  <daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> and i don't relate to japanese
  guys in pr0n
  <daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> their willies are tiny
  <daisu> This is so garrishly true
  <daisu> I think that's why there are so many asian people
  <daisu> sperm has less length to travel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287575
text:
  <MilitiaX> yo guys, anyone know a music irc server?
  <dustin> if only goatse had an ircd with an ascii version in
  the motd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287636
text:
  <Ocher> hey guyz
  <Ocher> I SUCK DICK FOR COKE
  <Ocher> o god...
  <Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
  <Ocher> IM A HUGE FAG
  <Ocher> yep...
  <Ocher> he does...
  <Ocher> MAKE BONDAGE AND BEASTIALITY NATIONAL PASTTIMES
  <Ocher> argh brb
  * Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
  <Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287696
text:
  <teek> tenchi, ebay!
  <_Tenchi_> bah fuck ebay
  <_Tenchi_> i wouldnt buy a $9 cutlery set off of ebay
  <fate-> heh, a friend of mine in London bought a chest of
  drawers off of ebay, had to go pick it up by car (an hour
  away)
  <fate-> it sucked and wasn't of high quality like he expected,
  so we took it back, and on the way smashed it up, and left it
  on the guy's doorstep


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287746
text:
  <Dakara> what's the name of that disease when you can't stop
  masturbating?
  <amaury> the Y chromosome


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287845
text:
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> i always wanted to be an evil genious\
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> ever since i saw all those james bond
  movies...
  <Shatai> You could start by spelling genius right ;)
  <QuaKed_Oatmeal> stfu


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287891
text:
  <BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go
  get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
  <BombScare> damn im lazy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287937
text:
  <MrBob> I hate Uni. At least in film studies we get to talk
  about Fight Club.
  <@X-Factor> Wouldnt you be breaking the first 2 rules?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.287987
text:
  <Andoryuu> I KICK YOU AND EAT YOUR BACON.
  <BuruusuEXE> I have no bacon.
  <Andoryuu> Well...
  <Andoryuu> I KICK YOU


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288035
text:
  <WeaselBoy> livejournal is nothing but thousands of people all
  saying "Does this make my ass look big?" at the same time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288086
text:
  <Ian> whoa i b dling mb a sec
  <Ian> i must b hooked to a good conn
  <wolf> You need to be hooked on phonics.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288133
text:
  sw0813: you know, the movie ray really was inspiring
  sw0813: he was blind, and yet still managed to hit his wife
  sw0813: that means either of two things:
  sw0813: 1. his wife was stupid or
  sw0813: 2. he wasnt really blind
  sw0813: i mean seriously, was it like "marco," "polo" WHAM!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288181
text:
  * xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of
  Cat-5 cables"
  <xL> #1: A windows NT network


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288233
text:
  <isocat> isceald.  have you ever wondered whether there are
  other worlds superimposed on your own?
  <isceald> i'm not sure what you mean, iso.
  <ovalteen> he's asking you if you watch star trek.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288292
text:
  (s|urpee) Ashley was like "Derek gimme a ride to work"
  (s|urpee) and Derek responded "What do I get out of this?"
  (s|urpee) and ashley said "If you give me a ride to work, I'll
  give you Guin"
  (s|urpee) and I was like "What the fuck kinda reward is that,
  that's like saying "If you loan me $10, I'll give you herpes""


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288344
text:
  <Elly_May>  i'm so sick of fucking my father
  <Shitshe>  you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father
  <Elly_May> whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of
  shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288389
text:
  <Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom
  players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well..
  looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288437
text:
  <radead> (number of slashdot posts x ultima online character
  level)^(number of dime sized zits on face)/(girlfriends had
  before + 1) = sizeOf(nerd)
  <radead> girlfriends had before + 1 so we don't get a divide
  by zero error


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288486
text:
  <gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
  <gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
  <gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten
  with a
  sledgehammer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288541
text:
  <BLIZZ> the Xbox 2 will include high-end gaming hardware, a
  mini-fridge capable of holding an entire case of soda or beer,
  an air-conditioning unit, a four slice toaster, a TIVO unit,
  cup holders, a diaper changing table, a trash can, and a
  refillable toothpaste reservoir. Even the new extra large
  controllers - designed specifically for use by basketball
  players - will incorporate heated buttons and miniature LCD
  screens so you don't miss out on any of the action
  <BLIZZ> but thats just my prediction.......
  <around-Bellerophon> no way...not gonna happen....they'd never
  pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288593
text:
  <StuGhattz> have you ever had a shit take so much out of you
  that you needed to lie down after?
  <flawed> no, but tell me more.. i'm getting turned on
  <Linkadmin> StuGhattz: I had a nosebleed on the shitter once
  <Linkadmin> from pushing so hard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288645
text:
  <Jessanne> I'm horny Kate
  * Katethegreat shakes her leg
  <Katethegreat> how do i get her off?
  <Gothor> You are.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288699
text:
  <Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value
  with the Second Quest.
  <TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly
  Generated Dungeons has infinite replay value
  <nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288773
text:
  <ckoo> haha some lady asked me where she could get headphones
  so I told her "the source"  aka radioshack.   She walked
  outside,  turned,  and walked straight toward "SOURCE adult
  video"
  <reaper> Ahahahah!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288836
text:
  <Orpal> studying, HA HA
  <Killgore-studying> trying to
  <Orpal> it's friday night, you should be out killing
  prostitutes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288882
text:
  <CrazyMAC> i wish i liked whiskey
  <CrazyMAC> then i could drink it and stop shaving and look
  tough


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.288936
text:
  <Dj|Gallow> TUNE IN
  <Dj|Gallow> GOD DAMN IT
  <IntrepiD`GNR> Dj|Gallow: we have children present
  <Dj|Gallow> sorry
  <Dj|Gallow> TUNE THE FUCK IN KIDS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289043
text:
  <timmo> i wonder if gay people are ever like
  <timmo> "oh man that is so straight"
  <timmo> or
  <timmo> "youre so heterosexual"
  <Livewire0> "Quit being such a hetero!"
  <Livewireo> with the limp wrst flick, of course


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289089
text:
  <nice_sheep_molester> the united negro college fund: helping
  youth avoid being on a fox tv show on saturday nights for 25
  years


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289150
text:
  #Linux on GamesNET
  * Topic is '2.4.19 stable/2.5.40 unstable || don't ask to ask
  a question...just ask it!'

  * Stumpy has joined #Linux
  <Stumpy> I have a mandrake question
  <Stumpy> mandrake anyone?
  <Rev`15th> read the topic
  <Stumpy> ok
  <Stumpy> later
  <Stumpy> idiot
  * Stumpy has left #Linux


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289199
text:
  (TRANCEBOY) But i'm joining the reserves.
  (TRANCEBOY) Airborne Infantry
  (^BiAnCoOcH^) really so da airforce in other words
  (TRANCEBOY) No not the airforce,
  (TRANCEBOY) Airforce is flying F16 jets etc.
  (TRANCEBOY) Airborne infantry is ground combat deployed from
  black hawks, hueys, chinooks,
  (^BiAnCoOcH^) hmmm ok den caause i understood dat but n e way
  (TRANCEBOY) Ok Bianca, i'll put it in your terms.
  (TRANCEBOY) Me and Cletus run around dem bushes looking for
  dem charlies and we's get put there by those dang cars with
  wings ya hear?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289240
text:
  Narbus clicks his heels
  Narbus clicks his heels
  Narbus clicks his heels
  Narbus has quit IRC (QUIT: User exited)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289287
text:
  <mcgruff> ever notice, that like half the quotes on bash seem
  to be plucked out of conversations specifically designed to
  produce quotes to submit to bash?
  <cliff> i LOVE the cock


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289335
text:
  <PoisonPen> Ayn Rand is the curdled remains of a black,
  bitter, shrivelled apple from the tree of hypocrisy growing
  under the outhouse in the deepest pit of Hell.  She couldn't
  grope her way out of her own rectum with a flashlight and a
  copy of Gray's Anatomy.  Her entire rancid philosophy could
  have been killed if anyone had been brave or desperate enough
  to stick their penis into that frigid arctic pucker of her
  twat.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289387
text:
  <Kayma> shouldn't Cheney have died by now?
  <Richard_D_James> Yes
  <Kayma> My returning from the future must have changed more
  than I thought....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289439
text:
  <palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in
  them, oh and they were really easy :)
  <blindwork> the girls or the classes?
  <palos> yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289499
text:
  <krulos> my bud had sex with his girl last night 4 times and
  in the morning she said,"He was the best she ever had."
  <krulos> i told him i had sex with my girl 6 time last night
  and this morning she said,"I was God!" lol. how many times did
  u get it on last night?
  <KavorkianKilled> once
  <krulos>hahaha, did she say anything to you this morning?
  <KavorkianKilled> yeah, don't stop.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910621
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289600
text:
  <Desus> I'll just stick with my orginal plan for Nelly in the
  left channel and lil romeo in the right channel, and my voice
  panning back and forth going "this is not hip-hop"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910621
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289646
text:
  <KP> the admin just came over and asked me why my desktop
  looks like xp and what the hell i just did to his computer
  <KP> leet hax was not an acceptable answer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910621
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289698
text:
  <rastakid> Which one shouldn't be there: rape - monopoly -
  incest ?
  <seal> Monopoly?
  <rastakid> Wrong! Rape, because it's not a family game.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289757
text:
  <dsfsadfa> do you guys know what would be even cooler than the
  death of bush?
  <SaberRider> an iraq victory ?
  <SaberRider> (which is very unlikely)
  <dsfsadfa> orange flavored pepsi
  <Keltosh-ill> ...
  <Iraq> Whoa...
  <Iraq> That'd be awesome!
  <dsfsadfa> i told you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289809
text:
  <Iluvatar> 217.136.168.137
  <The_Cat> ?
  <Iluvatar> guess who's address that is
  <The_Cat> HOW DID YOU GET MY IP ????
  * The_Cat kicks his useless firewall


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289868
text:
  <HC-Marine> yeah one time this windows & doors company called
  <HC-Marine> and my dad answered it
  <HC-Marine> they asked if he wanted to have his windows and
  doors replaced
  <HC-Marine> he responded with "I don't have any"
  <HC-Marine> they were so confused


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289915
text:
  <atomic__> i wish i had a .no hostname so i could act stupid
  and no one would ever question why i acted the way i did


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.289975
text:
  <Ryuhou> bravo is pissing me off with its "movies that changed
  the world!" crap.
  <Ryuhou> they keep saying "men stopped having affairs in 1987
  after fatal attraction."
  <Ryuhou> i'm sorry.  what world are you from?
  <Ryuhou> of course
  <Ryuhou> they follow that up with a
  <Ryuhou> IT STAYS IN VEGAS commercial


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290056
text:
  <hajakinXL> brb
  <nfinite|p1astik> kk
  <hajakinXL> what!? You racist bitch!
  <hajakinXL> I know you spelt 'kkk' wrong!
  <nfinite|p1astik> wtf
  <nfinite|p1astik> you gook motherfucker
  <hajakinXL> Fuck you honky!
  <nfinite|p1astik> im spic, you retarded fuck
  <hajakinXL> Shut it, FOB!!
  <nfinite|p1astik> you UNEDUCATED shit trap, i crossed a
  fucking river, not a big ass ocean
  <hajakinXL> You're still a nasty slut
  <hajakinXL> Fuck you. I'm outta here
  <nfinite|p1astik> you off to talk to manny?
  <hajakinXL> Yeah. He was going to help me get Samba up and
  going.
  <nfinite|p1astik> ok, i'll pick you up in about 30?
  <hajakinXL> Sounds good.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290113
text:
  <jaban> IRC channels are like houses...
  <jaban> You can kick your friends out of your house for any
  reason you want, even if you're being stupid and unreasonable.
  You can even kick them out for no reason at all. It's YOUR
  house.
  <jaban> Now imagine if 3-year-olds owned all the houses.
  <jaban> That's IRC.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290197
text:
  <Graham> Let's say you have an ax. The kind that you could
  use, in a pinch, to hack a man's head off...
  <Graham> And let's say that very situation comes up and for
  some very solid reasons you behead a man.
  <Graham> On the follow-through, though, the handle of the ax
  snaps in half in a spray of splinters.
  <Graham> So the next day you take it to the ax store down the
  block and get a new handle, fabricating a story for the guy
  behind the counter and explaining away the reddish dark stains
  as barbeque sauce.
  <Graham> Now, that next spring you find in your garage a
  creature that looks like a cross-bred badger and anaconda. A
  badgerconda.
  <Graham> And so you grab your trusty ax and chop off one of
  the beast's heads, but in the process the blade of the ax
  strikes the concrete floor and shatters.
  <Graham> This means another trip to McMillan & Son's Ax Mart.
  As soon as you get home with your newly-headed ax, though, you
  meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year.
  <Graham> He's also got a new head attached and it's wearing
  that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last
  Spring" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday
  life.
  <Graham> You brandish your ax. He takes a long look at the
  weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he
  screams, "that's the same ax that slayed me!"
  <Graham> ...Is he right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290296
text:
  <tdn> imagine you wake up and you open youre bedroom door and
  theres a huge whale penis greeting you and then it just
  explodes -kabaam- and fills your whole room.
  <tdn> hahah sooo wrong window


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290351
text:
  *** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has joined #c++
  <Aplo> !list
  <Hexley> Aplo: Please type "no warez here toidinamai" (without
  quotes).
  <Aplo> no warez here toidinamai
  <Hexley> Aplo: Thanks for Playing. Now read what you said
  (last word reversed)... ;)
  <IRoC> lol
  <TelimTor> lol
  *** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has left #c++


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290444
text:
  MightyMooquack> Huh. This is something I've not seen in C code
  before...
  Iconoplast> comments?
  Iconoplast> HA HA HA BURN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290540
text:
  <AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the
  comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this
  look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290587
text:
  <Graceless> I've learned that I cannot make someone love me.
  All I can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910627
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290634
text:
  <@Wizzard> love is a word men use to get laid
  <@Wizzard> actually replace men with teenaged boys
  <@SJr> men use money


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290825
text:
  <Snurks> holy god they're making a The Little Mermaid III
  <MessedRawker> featuring a dead horse as a new co-star right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290870
text:
  (mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
  (mattwindu) while she was home alon
  (mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to
  blockbuster
  (mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
  (mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290918
text:
  <Neo_Rockman> ummm... if it's friday the 7th, does this mean
  that in 7 more days it will be friday the 13th?
  <Neo_Rockman> wait..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.290970
text:
  <maywood> Has a PC ever been known to start mysteriously
  working after it was thrown out a window?

  <kevin> Nope, I've never known throwing a PC out the window to
  help. However, what I did find while I was working at my last
  job was that intimidation *does* work. When I was having a
  particularly bad day, I used to take some old equipment that
  we wouldn't have been able to sell outside, and go Office
  Space on it. Then, I'd bring the carcass inside, and leave it
  in plain view, to serve as a warning for the other computers.
  It worked remarkably well.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291020
text:
  <ZXPKNOBB> I should make a cereal, where it is potato chips.
  <ZXPKNOBB> And you must eat it in water, not in milk.
  <ZXPKNOBB> It'll be called Gross Flakes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291079
text:
  <Amanda`> Sure, I'll put it on my Wall of Eliteness in my dorm
  <Amanda`> Beside Duke Nukem
  <Guilty> You and duke nukem
  <Amanda`> We're pals.
  <Guilty> Its like Amanda was Duke's fiance before a war and
  Duke went off and she sits in a rocking chair until 80 waiting
  for him to come home
  <Guilty> Hes dead, move on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291128
text:
  <Nyssa> 98 is like that slutty girl next door, that asks all
  the young highschool boys to wash her car but drinks her glass
  of wine and stares at them through the window with a creepy
  smile.
  <SickHumour> That has to be the most fucked up analogy that
  I've ever heard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291183
text:
  <SurveySays--Food> So I bought a Kobe Bryant jersey the other
  day.
  <SurveySays--Food> Cost me twenty-five bucks for the black
  one.
  <SurveySays--Food> I asked the cashier if it was the "Buy me,
  I'm a rapist" sale.
  <SurveySays--Food> She was not amused.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291228
text:
  <b22022> everyone that goes to public pools pees in them, its
  an animal instinct to leave your scent.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291324
text:
  <Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos.  I
  would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of
  2x4s for autocannon rounds.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291379
text:
  (oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience
  with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so
  much as a handshake, and I have no idea why.
  (oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not
  fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't
  understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating.
  (@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291439
text:
  <@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
  <@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in
  the form of a rap
  <@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you
  and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
  <@arfbot> while you rapped
  <@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291480
text:
  Retrace: so what is she?
  Retrace: a .073 or a 10.0000000001
  cryptic: shes like an 8
  Retrace: whoa
  Retrace: wait....a internet 8 or a real world 8?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291548
text:
  <rubio_> i'd be afraid of my penis shrinking
  <rubio_> to the point it looks like a clit
  <rubio_> the humidity here already fuxors with it!
  <SEoD> hehe good excuse
  <rubio_> hahahahah
  <rubio_> its embarassing when a stripper grabs it and stifles
  a laugh
  <rubio_> then pats you sympathetically on the shoulder
  <SEoD> hehe and puts money in your pocket
  <rubio_> hahahahah
  <SEoD> "go see a doctor"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291605
text:
  <chojin> i love reading the bottom quotes on bash.org
  <chojin> they're so funny
  <chojin> i mean, even niggers know they're funny
  <djay_> !
  <chojin> well, they would, if they could read the quotes
  <chojin> dumb niggers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291652
text:
  <Milo> the karma chameleon is gonna come by one day, give you
  a fatal illness, and then piss in your mouth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291740
text:
  (SectionX): well i would never power up a xbox
  (^Tony_Soprano^): thats cause ur a dumb fuck
  (^Tony_Soprano^): probibally drain all the power in your
  trailer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291809
text:
  <Neshie> whenever I eat red apples I get bad luck
  <Neshie> so it might aswell happen now so I can get over it
  quicker
  <Fariha_UK> :(
  <Fariha_UK> i get bad luck when i eat rhubarb leaves
  <Fariha_UK> cos they;re poisonous:/
  <Neshie> erm ok
  <Neshie> I dont want to eat these apples but im bloody
  starving
  <Fariha_UK> ummm
  <Fariha_UK> take the skin off, that way they're no longer red
  <Neshie> ive eaten everything else
  <Neshie> erm
  <Neshie> theyre still red apples with or without skin
  <Fariha_UK> hmmm this sounds like a philosophical discussion
  to me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291857
text:
  <pimpybra> Did you just get off on that?
  <Valgar_> On Tuna?
  <Valgar_> I like it, but not that much


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.291959
text:
  <@Kyoushu_Yatou> Hey Saka, or Paul.. someone.. I need a boy
  <@Kyoushu_Yatou> bot
  <@Kyoushu_Yatou> **
  <@Kyoushu_Yatou> >_<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292013
text:
  <MegaPucko> whats the street outside liverpool street station
  called?
  <MegaPucko> the big one =\
  <MegaPucko> wait
  <MegaPucko> nm
  <MegaPucko> im dumb
  <Goatman> No shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292054
text:
  [redbeard ] fuck I feel like shit
  [invertiga] stores close soon, might be a bit hard to pick up
  some :p


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292116
text:
  Girl: i like falling asleep with cold pillows by the way
  SkibblesMcCheese: That's nice
  SkibblesMcCheese: I like bunnies and marshmallows
  Girl: well, i'm just lettin ya know so that you can have
  some cold ones ready for me after our extensive sex fest
  Girl: i figured you'd be polite and do that for me
  Girl: haha
  SkibblesMcCheese: What am I supposed to do, put them in the
  fridge?
  Girl: no, i usually stick mine in the freezer right before i
  go to bed
  SkibblesMcCheese: Seriously?
  Girl: for real
  SkibblesMcCheese: That just bgave me a stiffie
  Girl: hehe
  Girl: why?
  SkibblesMcCheese: I don't know... just imaging you sticking
  a pillow in the freezer... it just kinda made me hard, that's
  all
  Girl: bending over to stick it in the freezer?
  SkibblesMcCheese: Uhhh... yeah! That was it
  Girl: what would u do if you came upon a scene such as that?
  SkibblesMcCheese: Do you have clothes on in this scene?
  Girl: hrmmm...
  Girl: that's a good question
  Girl: but... that's up to you
  SkibblesMcCheese: So no
  SkibblesMcCheese: In which case, I would build a campfire
  and roast some of those marshmallows
  SkibblesMcCheese: It would get pretty chilly with that
  freezer open
  Girl: shaddup!!
  Girl: i wanted u to like, come up behind me and grab my hips
  and just pull me back into u with ur dick hardening against
  me... but hell, if you wanna make fucking marshmallows... i
  suppose i can settle for that
  SkibblesMcCheese: I really like marshmallows


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292180
text:
  <`Raphael> <venomz> i broke my  finger playen halo 2 much!!!!!
  <`Raphael> @_@
  <`Raphael> HOW DO YOU BREAK A FINGER PLAING A GAME??
  <Rann-chan> Jamming it on the game pad REALLY hard?
  <`Raphael> How??
  <Rann-chan> Either that or he, like, played it non-stop for 48
  hours or something and his fingers were so overstrung that one
  fractured when he jabbed a button.
  <RichardFox> Could be a stress fracture.
  <`Raphael> He said he played it everyday for a month.
  <RichardFox> Yup, stress fracture.
  <Rann-chan> You know what can cure that? A LIFE.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292232
text:
  * XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
  <Toughie> lol
  <Toughie> thanks BF
  <Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
  <Toughie> i-r-c-i-n-g


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292282
text:
  <phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
  <juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have
  aids!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292342
text:
  <TheHood> yea, 2nd best team in baseball what motha fukaz
  <TheHood> ws champs what motha fuckaz
  <TheHood> yea
  <TheHood> yea
  <TheHood> wha
  *** TheHood has left #baseball
  * Legalize- takes off his bulletproof vest
  <Legalize-> i feel so much safer now.
  <Legalize-> damn irc.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292394
text:
  <DigDug> and i *don't* need an absolute nerd like me. THAT's
  when i will shrivel up and die, because i will never leave the
  house then.
  <Guilty> Yeah pen and his wife would just compete for first
  post on slashdot
  <Guilty> It would never end


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292443
text:
  <kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer
  pookie.. "Oh come
  on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats
  it... "


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292547
text:
  <doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc
  <MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james
  <doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P
  <MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines
  its not shock
  <doggie^> rofl
  <MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom
  matrix
  <MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible
  <MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass
  <MS^Zealot> etc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292597
text:
  <jw> is that a cucumber or are you just happy to see shaggy-h
  and me?
  <shaggy-h> jw: it's a cucumber. But you gotta wonder what he's
  going to do with it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292762
text:
  [@{Defenderz}] heh... you know this is all the british's
  fault, technically
  [@{Defenderz}] I don't blame Britain... but... it still is
  thier flaw they sparked this whole thing :-P
  [+Dark_Brood] Yeah they went to america in the first place


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292870
text:
  Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't
  exactly an easy task. :D
  dhn> dentist?
  Gud> yeah
  *** dhn hands Gud a straw
  Gud> dhn: straw?
  dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292918
text:
  <JonnyButt> dont you hate it when you are making out with a
  chick
  <Dunebug> no
  <JonnyButt> and she has a penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.292963
text:
  WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: pro tip don't use photoshop when
  you could get the same effect in pain
  WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: t
  Bobv2: How do you draw while in pain?
  WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: MS PAINT
  Bobv2: THATSTHEJOKEFGT.JPG
  WS-R| SmileyFaceOfAwesome: OPEN FILE ASIANPENIS.JPG: FILE IS
  EITHER TOO SMALL OR CORRUPT TO BE RUN:
  Bobv2: ...
  Bobv2: words cannot describe the win


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293016
text:
  <Mamoru> ok, i just finished Jurassic Park for snes
  <Mamoru> i left my system on for 3 days straight, because it
  has no in-game save
  <Mamoru> and i finish it
  <Mamoru> and it says
  <Mamoru> YOU HAVE ESCAPED FROM JURASSIC PARK! CONGRATULATIONS
  <Mamoru> aaaargh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293149
text:
  * Arsentia pets his cable modem
  * [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups
  and string.
  * PresWRK cuts Arse's modem
  * Arsentia cuts Toby's string
  *** Quits: [Toby] (...)
  <Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :)
  <[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string.
  <[Toby]> Schmuck.
  <[Toby]> :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293192
text:
  tigremaitre: using the 5 dollar colledge works ..  :)
  tigremaitre: err wrods :)
  tigremaitre: dammit
  tigremaitre: words even
  workfox137: and hopefully a $15 spell checker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293233
text:
  [aphr0] nothing like relaxing after a hefty civ3 session with
  some simpsons and some chicken gravy rice
  [WillLab] you have to relax after playing a game?
  [WillLab] like the game is the stressful part of your day?
  [aphr0] you try battling 5 nations
  [WillLab] I hate you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293292
text:
  <NapkinEater> can you hold a dollar between your breasts?  You
  are allowed to push your breast together with your hands, but
  you can't touch the dollar with anything but your boobs
  <Emily-away> I bet I could.
  <Kevyn> I can hold a dollar between my cock and balls.
  <Kevyn> That means I have big balls.
  <Mike_Works> <Kevyn> How bad do you want the dollar?
  <Homeless Person> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293344
text:
  <testman> i asked my girlfriend to come home to watch the last
  samurai
  <testman> and she answered "i'd like to, but i didn't see the
  first ones"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293392
text:
  <legolas> Not all of us can be preppy 'burb white kids.  ;^)
  <hariya> legolas: actually not all of us can afford to be
  white either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293444
text:
  <Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
  <syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
  <syntax> im a plumber
  <syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my
  family


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293655
text:
  <[Chris]> oh yeah baby, concatenate those strings... do it
  just like that
  <neura> I'd think you'd want to insert, not concatenate...
  <[Chris]> now you're just being nasty
  <neura> no, nasty is noting that you'd wanna be real careful
  with chop and split :x
  <[Chris]> as long as we aren't getting into a strlen fight


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293704
text:
  * dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun
  development environments.
  <dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE
  HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293754
text:
  <Kat_3y3z> I think I tanned too long tonight.
  <dudley> Kat_3y3z: why tan? you have good skin
  <remisser> yes.  why ruin that pretty skin of yours?  Now I'll
  never be able to make my mask...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293808
text:
  <Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
  <Baledood> oops
  <Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293875
text:
  kindle9: the computer lab is *craaaazy* today
  tomemos: "Dig this crazy scene" crazy?
  kindle9: "oh my god it's not printing why isn't it printing i
  need it to be printing what the hell is wrong with you make it
  start printing!!!" crazy
  kindle9: then they start foaming at the mouth
  tomemos: Do you ever have to put them down?
  kindle9: i wish
  kindle9: apparently i'm not allowed near tranquilizers anymore
  kindle9: some sort of.. legal thing.. lawsuits.. restraining
  orders..
  kindle9: *ahem*
  kindle9: let's just say i got a little over-zealous yesterday
  tomemos: "I know you're a computer person, but we're out of
  library staff.  Take this tazer and go in there!"
  tomemos: This is why I don't study in the library.
  tomemos: Because you could KILL ME.
  kindle9: could?
  kindle9: more like will!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293951
text:
  <Ned> rofl
  <Ned> Sud N' Fud
  <Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old
  story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first
  date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After
  hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of
  soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you
  prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
  <CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
  <CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
  <iX|Blue|afk> lol
  <iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.293998
text:
  <Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY
  HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART
  DISEASE.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294041
text:
  hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class
  talkin about how to spell prapoganda
  MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that
  lesson


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294087
text:
  <drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd
  space for multiple drives on the desktop or something?
  <ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free
  on a piece of paper.. then scan it.. and set it as your
  wallpaper


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294143
text:
  <Driph> a friend of mine is bi
  <Driph> and she's arguing with her girlfriend about who is
  supposed to cook tonite
  <Driph> and I told her that was the worst thing about a
  relationship between two women, you dont automatically know
  who's supposed to cook


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294197
text:
  <aum> real hackers don't use Mozilla, they don't even use
  links or lynx
  <aum> *real* hackers surf the web with 'telnet somehost.com
  80'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294259
text:
  <xwred1> my friend on aim is annoying me I want to hack them
  <xwred1> I just want to get in and format his drive
  <xwred1> I asked him for his address ip and he said its
  127.0.0.1
  <TheOnyx> heh
  <TheOnyx> Do you know what 127.0.0.1 is?
  <xwred1> its an address
  <xwred1> loopback, or something, right?
  <xwred1> it loops to him, then back to me
  <xwred1> thats how I can hax0r him


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294322
text:
  <demagogue> :(){ :|:&};:
  <demagogue> type that at a bash prompt
  <dg> not recommended
  * Antony ssh'es to bacardi
  <Antony> [1] 21057
  <Antony> what does it do :'(
  <ross> er I can't ssh to bacardi
  <taz> 1:01pm up 3 days, 20:11, 4 users, load average: 714.55,
  670.25, 890.24


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294431
text:
  <@SwampGas> THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
  <@SwampGas> COME IN RED SQUIRREL
  <@SwampGas> COOK IT.
  <@SwampGas> that's admin code talk
  <@SwampGas> "they got illegal files"
  <@SwampGas> "delete it"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294474
text:
  * ArSa is not a scsi expert :\
  * slurpee was a scsi expert until they came out with 134533109
  flavors of it
  slurpee: like ULTRA 2 WIDE MEGA XL ALPHA STREET FIGHTER SCSI


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294524
text:
  <SketchCow> I've been asked to shut down 7 servers, all of
  them roughly 10 years old.
  <SketchCow> I've been making them play taps before turning off
  permanently.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294576
text:
  <nomad> im getting supermassive black holes
  <nomad> woohooooooooooooo!
  <nutkase> i saw a porn with that title
  <nomad> yeah right
  <nutkase> but i think it might have been submissive black hoes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294684
text:
  <starshipparsley> This is a beautiful equation.
  <starshipparsley> e^pi( i ) + 1 = 0
  <purple.toupee> omg that just blew my mind
  <starshipparsley> I am reading the Penguin Dictionary of
  Curious and Interesting Numbers right now, and it is
  nerdgasmic
  <starshipparsley> Did you know that pi/2 is 1/root(root2 +
  root(root 2 +root(root 2 +....)
  <purple.toupee> !!!!
  <starshipparsley> This kinda stuff is so freaking awesome!
  <purple.toupee> math = power
  <purple.toupee> math is knowledge, knowledge is power, power
  corrupts, therefore math corrupts
  <starshipparsley> Math = the only kind of sexual pleasure I'll
  probably ever have


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294735
text:
  <tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
  <tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294788
text:
  * Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
  * iphopper reciprocates the hug
  * Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it
  proportianal to 1 over 2
  * iphopper primes lil's hug
  * Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
  * Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the
  highest and lowest points
  * Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused
  faces and blushes
  * iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and
  the derivative of that value
  <ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294853
text:
  <tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a
  redmav
  <spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck
  cock."
  <ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies
  <spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav
  <spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294903
text:
  <Lord-Data> god damn faggot game
  <Lord-Data> why the fuck would i wanna pick up a corpse when
  im on 10% health, theres a minigun in front of me and im under
  fire
  <Lord-Data> when i push use i wanna use the god damn gun, not
  fuck the damn corpse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.294997
text:
  <Vincerific> woot my AVG and my Ad Aware finished. I am now
  virus and trojan free
  * Spartacus^ has joined #Chatzone
  <Vincerific> damn and another Trojan just came in
  <Skiah> lmaoo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295043
text:
  <Cleve> my history teacher looks just like drew carey. and
  just like the real drew carey, he always makes jokes that
  noone laughs at


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295093
text:
  <Asmodeus> I hav3 to g3t a n3w k3yboard off my par3nts, brb.
  <Kur0Tenshi> Why?
  <Asmodeus> Th3 k3y b3tw33n th3 W and R k3y is brok3n.
  <Kur0Tenshi> What keys that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295151
text:
  <train> i'm on prison net
  <train> that still works
  <Hooblah> wtf
  <Hooblah> prison?
  <Hooblah> as in locked up n shit?
  <Zebracake> heh!
  <Zebracake> no, irc.prison.net


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295201
text:
  <ogw-iii> but the normal windows aim client sucks balls
  <Guyver3> right
  <Guyver3> in that magical universe you live in
  <Guyver3> amazingly in my universe, the real one, it does
  exactly what it needs to, IM other users


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295266
text:
  <ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things
  <ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines
  <ckx> then i'd be in heaven
  <ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball"
  <ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK"
  <ckx> stupid women
  <mdl> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295316
text:
  <skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill
  everyone
  <pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
  <pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295381
text:
  <pmw> According to Wikipedia, "cum swallowing" is an "extreme"
  sexual act.
  <Supernaut> best. quote. evar
  <sxs> probably
  <tsowell> pmw: it doesn't feel very extreme when you're doing
  it, does it?
  <pmw> At least not after a few times.
  <Supernaut> i stand corrected
  <Supernaut> that exchange is the best


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295425
text:
  * *@michael decides that given two evils, x and y, where x=
  cherry jolly ranchers and y=apple jolly ranchers, y<x


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295479
text:
  <Eternity> anyone got that year 3000 song on mp3 ?
  <pb2k> the one about the year 3000 ??
  <pb2k> lalalala ... year 3000 ... llalalalal ... etc one ??
  <Eternity> yeah
  <pb2k> sorry ... never heard of it ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295541
text:
  <Kolar> For the record, I want to get a copy of that one video
  of JFK getting shot, so I can dub in the Unreal Tournament
  'HEADSHOT!' sound clip.
  <Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald is on a KILLING SPREE.
  <Domarcet> So what does that make the film of Ruby shooting
  Oswald?
  <Kolar> Lee_Harvey_Oswald's Killing Spree has been ended by
  Jack_Ruby.
  <Kolar> Jack_Ruby was looking good until he died of cancer in
  prison!
  <Kolar> And then the chat window could come up and say
  "JFKennedy: OMG camper fagz"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295591
text:
  <BigNTall> Ohhhh Kay... I'm on some clothing seller forums,
  and a common theme is how to get a stain out of an otherwise
  perfect garment. Someone posted a "Guide to removing stains
  from children's clothing". Possible stains include liquor,
  wine, and semen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295644
text:
  USnip: today in english class
  USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about
  close friends
  USnip: and she was like
  USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?"
  USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"?
  USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to
  YOU"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295694
text:
  <[H]Mephisto_kur_srv_> nArKeD... How flexible is your
  morality?
  <nArKeD> what morals?
  <0dan0> that is the right answer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295787
text:
  (ashke) id like to take someone from the 1950s
  (ashke) like some 15 year old kid
  (ashke) and show him the internet
  (ashke) "GOLLY GEE LOOK AT THAT DONKEY HAVE SEX WITH THAT
  LADY"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295876
text:
  <D-BOY> how is it people can possibly find japanese people
  smart
  <D-BOY> look at their food
  <D-BOY> they can't figure out how to cook it
  <D-BOY> look what they do with rice
  <D-BOY> <Japanese Dude> Maybe if I roll it into a ball it will
  taste better!
  <D-BOY> <Chinese or Mexican Guy> I'll lightly pan fry the rice
  and season it to perfection while adding in choice meats and
  vegetables to create a dish in itself
  <D-BOY> <Japanese Guy> I can't figure out how to start a fire.
  I'll just eat my fish raw.
  <D-BOY> <Chinese Guy> I'll marinate the fish in a 2:1 ratio of
  egg to cornstarch and fry it to add a thick breadding. Then
  coat it in a sauze of ginger, hot bean sazuce, and add
  vegetables
  <MM> Maybe it's just age-old tradition...?
  <D-BOY> More like age-old idiocy
  <D-BOY> Idiocy is inherited from generation to generation
  <D-BOY> Look at Israel and Palestine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295923
text:
  <MechaRedMage> My Geography teacher told it to me... He was in
  mexico last year walking through an alley. Then three mexican
  guys jumped him and asked for his money. So he gave them his
  money ($.35) and then they looked at him and one guy pulled
  out a dollar and gave it to him saying "You need this more
  then we do."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.295972
text:
  <Nyphur> How long till Chaz gets on, roughly?
  <Koji_Ishida> when hell freezes over...
  * Koji_Ishida shortens the timespan... and sets the temp down
  in helll
  *** Chaz (Chaz@va-24-30-228-82.va.mediaone.net) has joined
  channel #AlgolXR
  <Koji_Ishida> told you lowering the temp in hell always works
  * Koji_Ishida breaks off an icicle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296066
text:
  <DeadsouL> poke
  <T-Broken\w> *giggle*
  <T-Broken|w> *giggle*
  * DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a
  sissy
  * DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a
  sissy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296134
text:
  <magaggie> fucking isp.
  <SorcererX> is the isp good at it?
  <magaggie> no, it's horrible
  <magaggie> it only lasts four hours
  <magaggie> though, it does rebound quickly... usually...
  <SorcererX> and then you're at it again.. for a whole 4 hours?
  <magaggie> yes.
  <magaggie> i have good stamina
  <magaggie> sometimes i'm at it for 18, 20 hours...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296186
text:
  * TechHut changes topic to 'Welcome to #Euphoria | SuperChill
  has no penis | "Peace, love, empathy" - Kurt Cobain'
  <TechHut> :)
  <ergoproxy> superchill does too have a penis... its just that
  it belongs to someone else, and its usually in his mouth.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296249
text:
  <Blondebeard> Sumez: Why are you always confusing me with
  Blood? :)
  <Sumez> Blondebeard: Nick completer
  <Ben Whatsisname> Blondebeard486 It's called typing "blo" and
  hitting [tab]
  <Ben Whatsisname> Sumez just isn't watching who he's "blo"ing.
  :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296391
text:
  <fruchtig> Doctors are so evil. They tell you to get in a
  certain position, hide behind a wall, and let YOU soak up a
  few x-rays. The doctor thinks, "Just stay there while I go
  hide behind this wall and press this button for a moment while
  hysterically laughing at you." And then you see that
  radioactive symbol on the machine surrounding your head and
  think, "Oh joy!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296448
text:
  <seeksama> i think my semen is the color of the last gatorade
  i drank
  <seeksama> like thos commericials with the guys sweating red
  <seeksama> i can cum red if i drink the right gatorade
  <seeksama> or purple
  <seeksama> it owns
  <Mikelite> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296500
text:
  <murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
  <murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
  <FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296545
text:
  (Atarax) DrConway: They also had such a poorly designed
  network that I set my computer's IP to the IP of their gateway
  and took the entire college network down


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296599
text:
  <Xellchiri> I crave RP in which guys do not get pregnant.
  <Xellchiri> Oh wow, the paper just got here
  <UndeadFromStone> Wha?
  <UndeadFromStone> We generally avoid that sort of thing. @_@
  <Xellchiri> what, the newspaper?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296695
text:
  <nero> HTML without CSS is like a gun without ammunition
  <nero> you can beat people to death with the butt of a gun,
  but bullets are so much more efficient


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296838
text:
  <Boycy> ooh, find me an ip :)
  <Boycy> have a 3line batch file to send the same net send msg
  until you push Ctrl+C :D
  <Hub-Security> boycy has ip: 137.222.226.67
  <Kameleon> 137.222.226.67
  <Boycy> excuse me for a few seconds...
  <Boycy> FUCKER
  <Kameleon> lmao
  <Boycy> I know how to find *my* ip you bastard
  <Boycy> 600 shitty net send boxes oh god I hate you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296887
text:
  * McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful
  than apache.
  < bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than
  windows using PHP  while standing on my head and driving a
  car.
  < ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more
  powerful webserver than IIS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.296939
text:
  <|sco|t> doesn anyone in here know a good amount of php
  <Jumper> |sco|t, the #php guys do ;)
  <JibberJim> |sco|t go to #php
  <[ric]> and #women is full of women, go figure
  <JibberJim> and #teens is full of 40 year old men.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297000
text:
  <choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
  <Saber> yes there is
  <Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to
  your clipboard
  <Saber> you need to select from left to right
  <choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger
  icon
  <choconado> oh wait...
  <choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking
  years, and i learn this NOW?!?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297045
text:
  danamania: wtf is an "ex police" imac?
  gelfie: dana: just means it sat in a police station running
  word I guess
  danamania: phwooooar
  danamania: like ex-police camrys
  gelfie: either that, or it comes with free kiddy porn and a
  stash of ecstacy tablets hidden in a false bottom


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297107
text:
  <Temujin> Holy shit.
  <Temujin> 300k/s from an fserve
  <SuperScott> Temujin what connection do you have
  <Temujin> Cable
  <Rawlings> no more "Will suck dick for bandwidth" signs on the
  interstate, huh tem
  <Alice`> Now it's just "Will suck dick"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297162
text:
  <tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy
  him...he just turned 23
  <Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
  <tbone22> he's hetero
  <tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297206
text:
  * NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his
  server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297323
text:
  <SilverJstr> it's toonie tuesday.. I might go get some kfc
  <ThanatoChaos> What's toonie tuesday?
  <SilverJstr> chicken for two bucks
  <ThanatoChaos> Really?
  <SilverJstr> You'd have to have toonies in order to get this
  deal.
  <ThanatoChaos> toonies?
  <SilverJstr> two dollar coins
  <ThanatoChaos> oh this is a stupid cannuck thing
  <SilverJstr> yep  :)
  <ThanatoChaos> canada is one of the worst countries in the
  world, it's everything the world hates about america and
  france combined in one arctic wasteland
  <SilverJstr> ignorant weenie


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297370
text:
  Dracula: Roses are red
  Dracula: Violets are blue
  Dracula: this line doesn't rhyme
  Dracula: and neither does this one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297438
text:
  <BillDcat^> bah, i find most 'religion' to be big business, if
  i wanna support that, i go to Mcdonalds, where i can at least
  eat
  <[y]> early morning theology
  <[y]> film at 11
  <BillDcat^> lol
  <BillDcat^> ya
  <generator> so you worship ronald mcdonald and all his value
  meals?
  <[y]> i know i do
  <BillDcat^> pretty much, that way i can have my scripture &
  eat it 2
  <BillDcat^> it's easy to believe in , if you can afford it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297491
text:
  <+Sasuke_Uchiha> Do you know how much beer I've had
  today...WAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much so if I seem dumber then suaul
  thats wy
  <+MegamanX2K> Underage drinking
  <+MegamanX2K> it only kills brain cells that were never there
  in the first place
  <+MegamanX2K> Sasuke=Poster Child


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297547
text:
  <bring> My mom, out of the blue
  <bring> asked me if I ever thought of joining the army
  <bring> and was like "I don't approve of that, but you might
  like it" and I was like "approve of what?" so she was like
  "you know, killing people"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297600
text:
  The_Fur: where do i fail again?
  BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion.
  Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing
  your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal
  skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After
  that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to
  call "fucking." After which, you failed to enhance your brain
  to a proper level.
  BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed
  to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you
  will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too,
  whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a
  small schoolgirl.
  BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court,
  where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to
  prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail
  raped and then murdered by a fatman
  BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly
  protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail
  to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your
  subsequent failure to live
  BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science,
  where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs
  will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail,
  killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail,
  making somebody pee everywhere


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297653
text:
  <dream|away> Harry Potter's hot.
  <dream|away> And every book he gets closer to legal age.
  Oooooh yeahhhh.
  <dream|away> ...
  <dream|away> Someone else say something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297699
text:
  <Chipper> Hexidecimal counting systems are awesome!
  <Chipper> On a scale from 1 to 10, I give them an E


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297794
text:
  <k-rad-bob> omg
  <k-rad-bob> I just realized
  <k-rad-bob> I have a fully working penis in my pants
  <k-rad-bob> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297843
text:
  <amoeba> there's a certain satisfying irony in downloading a
  copy of the LAME sourcecode to rip movies with from Time
  Warner Telecom's sourceforge mirror


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297894
text:
  <Kio> Blizz.
  <Kio> I submitted the Titanic quote to bash.
  <blizz_away> Er.
  <blizz_away> Kio.
  <blizz_away> The titanic quote is from bash.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.297965
text:
  <Meyow> remember back in 1996
  <Meyow> when you used to think about 2000
  <Meyow> and get all these space suits
  <Meyow> you know why its not like that
  <Meyow> I blame IRC
  <Meyow> :P
  <Meyow> more chatting then thinking
  <Meyow> like what 80% of the world uses IRC now
  <Meyow> "you have joined #sony"
  <Meyow> "so what should our next product be"
  <Meyow> "how about space suitS?"
  <Meyow> *  idiot has been kicked by boss (your fired)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298011
text:
  <DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose
  and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
  <DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298102
text:
  Statik : are you going to sleep?
  Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
  Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298167
text:
  <germonik> pot is the one truth in the universe.
  <germonik> it will neverget pissed at you and not wanan hang
  out.
  <germonik> it never freaks out.
  <germonik> it never whines.
  <germonik> it never argues with you over stupid shit.
  <germonik> even if all my friends abandoned me, pot would
  still be there for me.
  <germonik> pot's a member of my family.
  <FDR> That's because it's dead and it lacks the ability to
  move.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298209
text:
  rageatm005: procrastination patrol  would beat me with flaming
  torches and throw me into a volcano right now
  Dr SpaZZo: Except theyre too lazy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298266
text:
  <Drull> OMG
  <Drull> ARE ANY OF YOU WATCHING CNN???
  <CowWEB> no whats going on?
  <ego-man> ????
  <ego-man> what channel is cnn?
  <Drull> i dunno, nothing probably. was just wondering if
  anyone was watching cnn
  <LadyNikki> lol
  <ego-man> fucker, i turned on my tv for the first time in
  weeks. for nothin


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298362
text:
  <k|aNk> everyone loves phillipino women
  <Acidfreak> i prefer tai or chinese women on philipinos
  <k|aNk> i heard somewhere philipino women can contort theyre
  bodies into all kids of positions for sex
  <k|aNk> especially when they wear those big hoop earings,
  theyre good for sticking their ankles through


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298422
text:
  <CaCtus491> omg
  <CaCtus491> I think I have just met the dumbest courier ever
  <CaCtus491> I receive parcel
  <CaCtus491> Courier hand me a palm/PDA style device for
  signature
  <CaCtus491> Courier hands me a ball point pen to sign with
  <CaCtus491> I look at screen and see lots of ink and scratches
  from previous signatures
  <CaCtus491> I smile and say thankyou politely, slowly back
  away and close the door
  <CaCtus491> before breaking into hysterics


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298478
text:
  <-M-> i went and bought a mint flavoured condom just to see
  what it tasted like
  <-M-> i regretted it a lot when my bro walked in on me licking
  it
  <exclamation> did u munch the jobe?
  <-M-> i thiink he's gonna need more therapy than me
  <BigKev> did u turn to your bro and say "well.....we were out
  of mints"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298549
text:
  <Z> Swear to god..
  <Z> These guinea pigs are like
  <Z> Not even 6 months old
  <Z> AND THEY LOST THEIR VIRGINITY LIKE
  10000000000000000000000000 TIMES
  <Z> ><;
  <Incorrect> lol
  <Incorrect> hjahahahahah
  <Z> Now they're pissing me off..
  <Z> I can't get one simple pussy
  <Z> And they're hitting them like a batting cage


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910671
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298642
text:
  <snack`brb> You read about that guy on BBC that got 6 nails
  stuck in him?
  <Crips> yea, mustve been a quake 1 addict suffering
  withdrawal...i bet he had like 1hp left
  <Crips> if it was a super nailgun hed be dead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910671
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298689
text:
  (CountZero) does anyone know where i can find the irc channel
  for bash.org?! plz help thank you
  (Sunk) Hrmm..
  (Sunk) I don't.
  (turb0) no
  (Val[AWAY]) Hrm. Can't recall.
  (D3KK0N) #bearcave
  (Badtz_brx) what is bash.org?
  (Val[AWAY]) #microsoft, maybe?
  *** Kick: CountZero was kicked by Amanda_ (Amanda_)
  (Sunk) ROFL
  (turb0) HAhahahahaha
  (Xanor) lol
  (turb0) that was classic
  (madog) omg
  (Val[AWAY]) :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298753
text:
  < duoi> how do i stop getting my puter infected with adware
  when downloading porn
  < skas> block ads
  < skas> update os and antivir
  < hdqn> next!
  < duoi> but how will i find out about lonely singles in my
  local area
  < hdqn> look into every window in the neighbourhood, if
  they're IRCing that's your best best
  < hdqn> the shorter the handle, the longer the candle, if
  y'know what I mean


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298798
text:
  *** Joins: Currawon1
  (~currawong@GizNet-43538.b.006.syd.iprimus.net.au)
  *** Quits: Currawong (~currawong@210.50.98.GizNet-34072)
  (Client exited)
  <KGL-900> Currawong, if you ever want to kill your ghost, the
  command is: /msg giznick ghost KGL-900 steamshovel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298857
text:
  <antiuser> man
  <antiuser> flash is like sméagol
  <antiuser> the first time you get a bit worried
  <antiuser> the second time it's all nice
  <antiuser> then the third time it wants to KILL MASTER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298901
text:
  [Hive] You know what really pisses me off? People who point at
  their wrist when asking for the time. Yeah, buddy, I know
  where my watch is. Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my
  crotch when I ask for the bathroom?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.298956
text:
  < Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me
  a sysadmin zombie!
  < Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and
  labeling today :-D
  < daven> fun
  < Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299006
text:
  <auto-jack> one of my users needs to disable their antivirus
  <auto-jack> "to run a test."
  <Redline> testing their will to be employed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299063
text:
  <Sarah> the first Matrix was damn nice for an action movie.
  for an action movie.
  <Odin> Corny as hell endings.
  <Johnny> Yes.
  <Odin> Someone dies. Hell, let's bring 'em back to life with a
  kiss, it works in Disney flicks!
  <Sarah> Neo kisses Smith?
  <Sarah> thanks for spoiling it for me, asstart.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299111
text:
  <madsen> is there an online Perl-manual that resemples the
  php-manual. (God! That manual can bring a grown man to his
  knees.)
  * madsen panics.
  <madsen> I'm in love with a manual...!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299159
text:
  <devoid> did you know what dell dude got busted for pot
  <SSSXIII> yeah ;D
  <devoid> it confuses me because i always thought marijuana was
  a gateway drug


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299203
text:
  <Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into
  your mouth but then cancer crashes the party


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299314
text:
  <SiX-SiN> www.shoutcast.com
  <[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> mmm kpop
  <SiX-SiN> ckr lags
  <[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> omfg
  <[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> how is KPOP fucking 2nd and 4th
  <SiX-SiN> i dunno
  <SiX-SiN> it would be rap
  <SiX-SiN> but niggers dont kno how to use the computer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299373
text:
  <Nago> i saw this sticker
  <Nago> that said
  <Nago> Got Jesus?
  <Nago> and i was thinking
  <Nago> got milk? i want a glass of jesus.
  <Nago> Jesus h. christ.
  <Nago> id like a glass of that.
  <Venoman> frothy warm glass-o-christ


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299431
text:
  * ogw is zooming along at 650
  * ogw looks like that guy from the memorex commercials when
  he's sitting at his computer
  <fo0bar> is it live?
  <ogw> has anyone ripped that off yet?
  <ogw> or have I just predicted the next Dell campaign
  <ogw> "Is it dead?  Or is it Dell®?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299534
text:
  <jdm> i just accidently urinated on my face
  <@Static> did you take a picture?
  <jdm> no
  <jdm> let go of my wang to catch the toilet seat, it began to
  fall
  <jdm> pissed all over the back of the toilet then it swung up
  and hit me in the face like a fire hose


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299593
text:
  <Shafty> but you can't expect linux to hold your dick for you
  while you pee like windows does...
  <Snapcase> I don't want it to hold my dick, but it would be
  nice if the toilet wasn't an unmarked cinderblock.
  <Thraq> and you have to shake it yourself too....
  <Thraq> just grab that root and shake it good
  <Thraq> and say "Take that Microsoft"!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299634
text:
  Dr SpaZZo: I started getting down to it and then my room lit
  on fire.
  TwilightKnight00: if your computer overheats and combusts and
  you run to another computer to tell people about it..... you
  might be a junkie


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299723
text:
  [rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what
  is going on
  (|Chris) typist*
  [rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299779
text:
  <WTM2K> i accidentally turned on auto-catch, and everytime
  someone says a url it pops up in explorer
  <Supachikn> www.superchicken.com
  <|Cheez|> sorry about this but www.goatse.cx
  <Supachikn> www.tubgirl.com
  <Dekkon> www.dekkon.com
  <WTM2K> i hate you all


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299883
text:
  <Ndi> i have a local lan at work
  <Ndi> and it has a nat
  <Ndi> and it nats to the net
  <Ndi> and the net is at home
  <Ndi> and I have a vpm that vpns over the net to the lan at
  work which is natted
  <Ndi> and I have a VM here that has the ability to NAT into my
  real home lan
  <Ndi> that can be output to the net
  <Ndi> so I defined the NAT there
  <Ndi> so then I have access to work
  <Ndi> so the packet, you see, from 192.168.88.3 to
  192.168.3.22 is output, and then gets routed to 192.168.88.2,
  then 88.1, then my IP, then to my gateway, then net, then the
  work gateway then to the VPN device, then to the local
  gateway, then to the target pc.
  <Ndi> i wonder if I can get tech support for this.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299933
text:
  <codive> geez, can't computers GUESS what i want by now?
  <syberghost> codive: sure, that's why you keep getting spam
  for animal pr0n.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.299983
text:
  <prence> oh fuck oh fuck man
  <prence> my mom got this new canon digital camera today and
  they are asleep so i took a picture of my cock and i can't
  figure out how to delete it
  <prence> fuck what the hell do i do?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300046
text:
  <thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 is now running; please type !virus
  to test your system
  <Morphine> :))
  <Morphine> !virus
  <Morphine> lol
  <thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 is now currently checking Morphine
  for infected files.
  <thnom> wait a bit .........
  <thnom>  Morphine; AntiVirusIRC v0.2 has detected a virus,
  press ALT + F + C; to identify the infected file(s).
  <thnom> AntiVirusIRC v0.2 was brought to you by Tw0Y3d-]
  <Morphine> ?
  [11:06] *** Morphine has quit IRC ((23:33:55) (@mart`db) xp is
  dodgy)
  <thnom> rofl
  [11:07] *** Morphine has joined #abjects


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300237
text:
  (f`CNK) so lets say im driving
  (f`CNK) and sum1 yells in my fucking ear
  (f`CNK) i wont lose concentration man
  (f`CNK) neither would u!
  (f`CNK) we are like superman
  (Alchemeron) superman doesn't drive a car, you fucking idiot,
  he can fly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300286
text:
  <TheShadowHunter> Im still afraid to ask if I did anything
  unusual while on morphine. I dont remember it really affecting
  me at all but for all I know I couldve been running up and
  down the halls naked and pushing old people out of
  wheelchairs.
  <TheShadowHunter> Thats something I prefer to do while
  entirely coherent.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300384
text:
  <Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful
  girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is
  surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her
  enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D
  with your geeky friends.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300435
text:
  «@ Geza» how do u shut it down?!
  «@ Geza» 2 shut down sum 1's chan?!
  <PcChip> well
  <PcChip> try this,
  <PcChip> type: /quit shutdown #cafe_paradise
  «@ Geza» ur lieing
  «@ Geza» it will kick me
  «@ Geza» u gay
  Quits: Geza (~htrsh@owns.tha.world.edu) (Quit: shutdown #
  cafe_paradise)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300484
text:
  <Surge|Metal`Gearing> Yeah why don't we use stupid people as a
  fossil fuel? We'd end the energy crisis for millions of years.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300535
text:
  <Pornosaur> My mom gave me one of those plants you can't kill
  <Pornosaur> I think it commited sucicide


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300581
text:
  <folly> and anyone who tells you you can is a moron.
  <folly> (or a windows admin, which amounts to much the same
  thing)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300638
text:
  <Caskie> Ive gotta try and write a 17 page letter, but i dont
  kno what to write
  <Fletch> Just write 'i am a fish' 400 times
  <Caskie? no! :P, thats a waste of paper
  <Fletch> Pfft,Im sick of people saying 'dont waste paper'. If
  trees wanted to live, they'd all carry guns


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300766
text:
  <DrSeuss> My dad was calling me gay and shit.
  <DrSeuss> He was like "Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get
  a girlfriend!"
  <DrSeuss> Thats when I said "Shut up dad, you dont know
  anything about my life!"
  <DrSeuss> ...
  <DrSeuss> So I grabbed my pom poms and left :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300834
text:
  <LunchBox> i'm not all that intoxicating
  <LunchBox> er, intoxicated. i think i just disproved my
  point.... :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300886
text:
  <@Canis> i wanted to move my nintendo once but didnt want to
  lose my game
  <@Canis> so i wired on a second power cord
  <@Canis> and then walked it from outlet to outlet
  <@Canis> im really lucky i didnt hit two circuits out of phase
  <@Canis> that would have SUCKED


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300935
text:
  <Lem> so my question is this
  <Lem> Agent Smith can replicate himself.. but, why would there
  be a fork(), if there is no spoon()?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.300986
text:
  <Berzerker> hey
  <Berzerker> you hear about the new game they play at the white
  house?
  <Berzerker> swallow the leader.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301038
text:
  * Ashfield is now known as Atropos
  <-yptosis> Isn't Atropos that desease were you wang turns gray
  and falls off?
  <Camen> No.
  <-yptosis> God damnit, so I didn't need to wash it. That lying
  motherfucker.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301112
text:
  <@madCoder> now its time for me to go raid my roommates food
  <@madCoder> :D
  <@iota> lol
  <@ploppity`away> lol mad
  * @iota has a huge chest freezer with some goodies
  <@iota> come raid it
  <@ploppity`away> iota: pm
  <@madCoder> :O
  <@iota> i just got a bunch of buy one get one free ice cream
  too
  <@JaZz0r> eyes are blurry
  <@JaZz0r> [Sat:3:41:13a] * iota has a huge chest
  <@ploppity`away> woah
  <@JaZz0r> did you say anything after that?
  <@madCoder> lmao
  <@iota> FREEZER
  <@JaZz0r> "with some goodies"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301159
text:
  <Uprising> I just want to work somewhere that actually counts
  <jamesstanley> try the office for national statistics


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301254
text:
  <SandLev> I keep those empty cardboard boxes that used to hold
  blank cd-r's... put the pr0n in those...
  <SandLev> nobody thinks to search blank cd-r boxes for actuall
  stuff
  <Zoogle> except someone who is looking for a blank cd.. :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301304
text:
  krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire
  countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined
  for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender
  between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an
  unfortunate error in translation.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301361
text:
  <Andy> sorry about leaving abruptly before :) the ice cream
  van went past the house and then the power went out :)
  <speice> what the Ice-cream van took out the power line??
  <UFO6> nah, the rush of overweight kids to the van?
  <Andy> Hehe ;)
  <UFO6> i saw a kid put a dent into a car from running into it
  once...
  <UFO6> man, you would think his head was rubber from the way
  he bounced off.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301422
text:
  <jimmy_> i use norton
  <BoltBait> Norton's is the most annoying anti virus software
  ever!
  <jimmy_> what do you meen? i hardly notice notice its there
  <BoltBait> Really? Then it's probably not working.
  <jimmy_> ...
  <jimmy_> u may be right
  <jimmy_> the tray icon isnt there anymore
  <jimmy_> shit!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301533
text:
  <Isajeep> in fotr when gandalf first goes to see that other
  gay wizard what does he first say to him?
  <NickBlasta> stfu noob
  <Setzer> stfu noob
  <CRC> he says: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
  <CRC> we should get the script to LOTR and make it l33t
  <DC4ever> CRC - and then add subtitles to the avi of it, and
  rename it "L0rd of teh r1ngz0rs!"
  <CRC> legolas: chex0r this out! *stabs orc in eye with arrow*
  LOL! di3 f00l! *shoots another orc with arrow* pwned!
  <[H]Slacker> divx?
  <NickBlasta> orc: CHEATER CHEATER WALLHACK!!1
  <CRC> (when pippin/merry/whichever the fuck knocks the armor
  down the well) Gandalf: omg, noob!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301591
text:
  <disturbed>> I have a fear... of EGGS. I know it's silly and
  my girlfriend makes fun of me saying I have EGGNAPHOBIA. But I
  have had this problem my whole life... EGGS actually scare me.
  <disturbed> When people talk about omlettes for example, I
  feel sick in my stomach... I physically cannot touch EGGS as I
  get shivery and feel ill and if I see someone eating an EGG
  sandwich I get a nervous twitch (always in my right eye) and I
  literally have to leave the room. Even the smell of EGGS makes
  me feel faint.
  <disturbed> I think it's because EGGS are from chicken's butts
  and that always deeply disturbed me as a kid... I think it
  developed from there.
  <skelm> you have some really serious issues...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301637
text:
  JunoRulz: Meh, in health class, some lady talked about it.
  JunoRulz: She said rape is unwanted penetration of body.
  JunoRulz: So I went around sticking my pinky in girls' ears.
  JunoRulz: Declaring rape.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301685
text:
  <melanarchy> I mean I don't want to be too mean
  <melanarchy> but there are levels of acceptable IRC stupidity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301737
text:
  *** Malach has changed the topic on #nz to If your parents get
  divorced, are they still cousins?
  <lower> Shouldn't it be "If your parents get divorced, are you
  still your own cousin?"
  <Malach> lower - you inbreed your way, I'll inbreed mine.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301785
text:
  <steven>: heh, im doing the rough draft on my analasys paper,
  but i have to truncate it when i email it through the school's
  web system, so im gonna do "anal-rough.doc" and send it to the
  teacher =D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301828
text:
  scykon: nope. no matter what you build with lego, if i build
  the same with
  duplo its guranteed to be bigger, and therefore better than
  yours


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.301914
text:
  DibbLe: ive come to a realization
  Daemonite: ?
  DibbLe: violent games like cs, bf1942 and quake DO influence
  kids to shoot people and commit violent acts
  DibbLe: but not because theyre imitating the game, its because
  everyone who plays them acts SO FUCKING STUPID YOU HOPE THEY
  ALL DIE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302023
text:
  <silicate> shit, it looks like it's gonna be sunny on saturday
  * Zally glares at you
  <silicate> that's not good ... for reasons, that would require
  a much un-needed and long story
  <Zally> hmm, ya ill take your word for it?
  <silicate> yeah, i don't feel like explaining it
  <Zally> Its all good
  <Zally> I dont feel like pretending im interested


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302070
text:
  TheItch: Dude, funniest thing ever!
  TheItch: I walk into the bathroom at work, walk up to a
  urinal, and get ready to... you know.
  TheItch: From one of the stalls, I hear a low rumble, which
  escalates to a groan, and then to a roar.
  TheItch: What follows can only be described as the most vile
  and putrid sounds of human excretion in history. This man
  apparently pooped out his intestines.
  TheItch: Moments later, I hear from the same stall, "Oh god!
  Someone CALL AN AMBULANCE!"
  TheItch: Now, this is an executive restroom at a private bank,
  and the door has a number lock on it, so it's not some kid
  trying to be funny. And the man sounded genuinely distressed.
  TreesSneezing: lmao! What did you do?
  TheItch: Suppressed my laughter as best as I could, zipped up
  and got the hell out of there.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302124
text:
  <[Lemmy]> hey btw where r u?
  <Massive_Potato> virginia
  <[Lemmy]> aww... after all that bash.org stuff I first read
  that as 'vagina'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302195
text:
  <frumpy> I see nintendo's new system is making people smile.
  <frumpy> it's only a matter of time before a GTA ports comes
  out with the title 'Now you can *really* beat that nigga up
  and take his car!'
  <frumpy> I'll bet is sells millions of copies while parents
  everywhere just throw their hands up and say things like 'what
  am I supposed to do about it?!?!'
  <SForce> they'll just be happy their kids are getting some
  kind of exercise
  <frumpy> 'yes honey.. I know he's in there beating up
  prostitutes.. but remember when he used to just _sit_ there
  and do it?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302245
text:
  <OMFG> Aw man, i'm almost at my download limit...i dont wanna
  get shaped to 64k :(
  <OMFG> Do you think I could like, ration out 24MB
  <OMFG> To last 6 days?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302300
text:
  <Minion> I'm waiting for CNN to do a special on "The Goatse.Cx
  Phenomenon" Like they did with EverQuest and "All your base"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302352
text:
  <BadlandZ> So, what's new, where are the bots?
  <Sprout> they are eating lunch
  <BadlandZ> heh.. together?
  <Sprout> do you ever see bots eating with people?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302495
text:
  <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
  <Navix{mp3}> Death to Cid for saying: <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
  * Cid{FYD} has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
  <Lance> that was easy :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302579
text:
  <XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the
  females then all the males rub against eachother til they
  spooge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302676
text:
  <JohnFlux> There are two kinds of people: 1) those who start
  arrays with one and 1) those who start them with zero.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302728
text:
  *** Mode change "+b *!*@24CBE824.816AE85.502C52D6.IP" for
  channel #s*p by Spazz
  <Spazz> Typo.
  <amishjosh> typo? YOU BANNED HIM!
  <Spazz> b and v, they're right next to each other


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302788
text:
  <an_ass733> You know what's funny?
  <an_ass733> The current Slim Fast ad.
  <an_ass733> The women in it say "It's so easy to lose weight
  with Slim Fast"
  <an_ass733> And the fine print at the bottom of the screen
  says "Losing weight is not easy."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302930
text:
  <Video> anyone know where to get nhl 2004
  <MpegMan> Best Buy
  <Video> anyone know where to get FREE nhl 2004
  <MpegMan> Wear baggy clothing to Best Buy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.302983
text:
  <Gwuffy> yay getting new linkin park album
  <CoRDS> are you about to break?
  <Gwuffy> nope
  <Gwuffy> but im one step closer
  <CoRDS> thats way too much angst for one person
  <devkev> he needs a little room to breathe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910696
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303077
text:
  <UncleJed> the government should split up efnet
  <UncleJed> not that efnet doesn't split enough as it is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910696
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303138
text:
  <PI^2> my first puter was c-64
  <PI^2> I had many nasty games on c-64 :D
  <PI^2> like 'fast masturbation' and such :)
  <PI^2> that game was soo weird :D
  <PI^2> though it had good graphics for a c-64 game :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303242
text:
  <Soul`is`away> I was ashamed of the latest KMart catalogue
  <Soul`is`away> Flipped to the games bit...
  <Soul`is`away> Xbox and PS2, but no cube AT ALL
  <risq> there are no gamecubes in ANY catalogues
  <Soul`is`away> WHY NOT!>
  <Onikage> maybe after they put in the xbox, there was no room
  for the cube


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303298
text:
  <maverick> I hate you leo, go fuck yourself.
  <leo> Dont tell me what the fuck to do
  <leo> Your not my fucking mom
  <maverick> uhh, yeah i am..
  <leo> ??????
  <maverick> oh, i thought you said "your not fucking my mom"..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303386
text:
  <johnnY> ???????//////
  <johnnY> ?????////////////////////////////////////////////////
  ///
  <johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
  <johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
  <johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
  <johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
  <johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\
  /
  *** Sn00kie has joined #pk
  <johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\
  \\///\\\\///\\//
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <johnnY> dude
  <johnnY> it was my cat
  <johnnY> ...
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
  <pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
  <pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
  <pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303448
text:
  <Nautilus> God I hate little brothers
  <Nautilus> 11:59 P.M. on april fools, he sets off a bash
  script that logs into my company's server, uses ipfw to block
  out _all_ ssh connections, and changes the site to display
  goatse.
  <OneMan> haha that's a good get-back
  <OneMan> did you change it back?
  <Nautilus> <Nautilus> uses ipfw to block out _all_ ssh
  connections
  <OneMan> 1 Dr. Jack Kevorkian cure-all, comin' right up!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303502
text:
  <Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
  <Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
  <Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
  <Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please,
  get down on yo knees"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303555
text:
  <_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback
  <_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave
  <Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about
  the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303610
text:
  <DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
  <Thom> Ach. Dang.
  <DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to
  shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
  <puchiko> It is.
  <DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303763
text:
  <splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
  <splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
  <purenergy> ya
  <purenergy> u can do that now
  <purenergy> use ur imagination
  <splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl
  in a bar
  <splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her
  spatch
  <splurge> wiggle it around
  <splurge> vibrate
  <splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
  <splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a
  seat beside you
  <splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303810
text:
  <dreamwraith> I am going to create a Nicotine Golem.  I will
  call him son and he will call me father and we will bond.  At
  night, I will lick him.
  <dreamwraith> I WANT A CIGARETTE.  That is all.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303870
text:
  <Want3840> yes, i thought brownouts were caused by excessive
  use of electricity without an adequate supply
  <een> i don't personally care why they happen, cuz i just know
  that they do
  <Want3840> according to the weather channel, as you say, they
  happen more during storms
  <Want3840> oh!
  <Want3840> i figured it out
  <een> YAY
  <Want3840> during storms lightning strikes, and lightning uses
  up all the electricity!
  <Want3840> duh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.303973
text:
  <sortof> i need ducktape so i can take a shower
  <DEZM> uhhhh
  <DEZM> i dont want to know what you do with that
  <sortof> i tape up my knob real good
  <sortof> to keep it down
  <DEZM> uhhhhhhhh
  <sortof> noo on the shower
  <sortof> the drain wont stay closed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304017
text:
  <TheVirus> i hate when im takin a whizz, and then im almost
  done, then i get those damned piss shakes. and my piss goes
  all over the damn place, then my cat comes in and licks it up.
  good cat =D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304063
text:
  *** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk
  skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304145
text:
  <user> when I can figure out how to compile sex, we're going
  to be rich
  <someone> so true
  <someone> geeks everywhere will be so happy
  <user> "download the latest binary of sex for Linux, or build
  it from source"
  <someone> ummm
  <someone> build from source with my options
  <user> I'd have the longest configure line you've ever seen
  <someone> --swallow=yes
  <user> ./configure --with-toys --
  <user> damnit..I wasn't done
  <user> --enable-plugins
  <someone> oh yah
  <someone> --outside=yes
  <user> --set-max-users=10
  <someone> --set-max-female-users=10


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304195
text:
  <Kitsa> in retrospect, redheads shouldn't wear catholic-school
  uniforms to places where there are going to be a lot of drunk
  men


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304241
text:
  <@Skute> so what is elf doing going out with a 14 year old??
  <+Rebs|busy> having a good time it seems


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304293
text:
  <ic3m4n> i have 6 usb ports
  <c00l_zero> what for??
  <ic3m4n> modem, mouse, webcam, scanner, printer and 1 just in
  case...
  <ic3m4n> i was trying to find the modem one...
  *** ic3m4n has quit IRC: (Connection reset by peer.)
  *** ic3m4n has joined #cad
  <ic3m4n> yep, that was the one...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304413
text:
  <DaFuror> ok
  <DaFuror> that about sucked
  <phac> what now daf?
  <DaFuror> I went out to my car to get my U1 about an hour ago
  <g3nocide> U1 ?
  <DaFuror> Sun Ultra 1 server
  <DaFuror> well, anyway
  <DaFuror> these three drunk kid come outta nowhere and one of
  them tried to jump me
  <g3nocide> LOL
  <DaFuror> I cracked his skull open with the U1
  <DaFuror> just got done dealing with the fine upper arlington
  police dept
  <g3nocide> lol you hit him with a sun ultra one server
  <DaFuror> I can
  <g3nocide> LOL
  <DaFuror> t
  <g3nocide> omfg
  <DaFuror> wait to see the police report
  <g3nocide> you know you are a geek when, you protect yourself
  with server hardware


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304467
text:
  qreepyboris: However, I can tell you with authority that my
  French extra credit project is going to ROCK
  qreepyboris: We're making a film of a few shortish skits in
  French
  qreepyboris: And one of them is so awesome
  qreepyboris: Schindler and Santa accidentally mix up their
  naughty and nice lists. :-)
  qreepyboris: So Santa goes to all the Jews' houses and they're
  not there, 'cuz they're all in camps
  qreepyboris: And I haven't read the whole script, but there is
  no way it can possibly be not funny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304558
text:
  [Fustard] I just walked out into the living room today
  [Fustard] and my mom just randomly went
  [Fustard] 'the dog has been masturbating too much, ive never
  seen it that big'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304652
text:
  kristchan: you know you want some of mama's lovin
  cromicus: thats disgusting
  kristchan: I'd leave you walkin funnny
  cromicus: yeah, that funny walkin is called "running away"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304720
text:
  <Medrawt> I almost always get laid when I've given up looking
  for a root. Fact.
  <Medrawt> I think girls can smell desperation
  <drewb> no, they can smell your cheap aftershave
  <drewb> when you stop wearing the shit aftershave, they can
  tolerate you
  <Medrawt> No they can't, I wear none
  <thrase> If you weren't such an arrogant git drewb, you'd
  probably pass as funny
  * Medrawt relies on pheremones
  <drewb> if you werent such a fuck up thrase, youd probably
  pass as human


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304802
text:
  <Mally> before his destiny was further clarified, Robin Hood
  spent several years stealing from the rich and giving to the
  porcupines


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304860
text:
  <~DuDE~> My sister was driving home today
  <~DuDE~> Somebody comited suicide by jumping of a bridge onto
  the motorway
  <~DuDE~> And landed on my sister's bonnet!
  <Barnes> Jesus christ that's terrible!
  <Barnes> She'll lose her no claims discount on her insurance!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304913
text:
  <+Sythro00> Omg this is so messed up. I keep taking this
  gender test at http://test.thespark.com/gendertest/ and it
  keeps coming up with that it's 86% sure I am a girl, WTF
  <@Jed-> Sythro00: maybe its right..
  <+Sythro00> No thats whats so scrwewed up. I am totaly
  right-winger, heck I collect Glocks for the love of god


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.304961
text:
  <immi> i want madonnas pussy
  <dr\gonzo> besides you putting your penis inside madonna would
  be like you putting your penis out the window
  <dr\gonzo> that shit has to be sooooo loose


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305012
text:
  <IlpaTYPER> would this have anything to do with banning
  Class316? heh
  <Fakester> no
  <Fakester> he should be banned at all times
  <Fakester> IMO
  <DN|PISSED> he should be klined from planet earth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305060
text:
  <ORi0N> What good are you with a high IQ if you, for example,
  can't even tie your own shoe laces or something?
  <BaToR> Ask that to Stephen Hawking :p


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305215
text:
  <Tamahome> Ryan: "here" being?
  <mdew> .nz of course
  <Tamahome> oh, Europe doesn't count :P
  <mdew> europe?
  <Tamahome> Europe is traditionally a *very slow* gaming market
  <mdew> since when was .nz europe?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305261
text:
  Maf54: You in your boxers, too?
  Underage_page: Nope, just got home. I had a college interview
  that went late.
  Maf54: Well, strip down and get relaxed.
  Maf54: What ya wearing?
  Underage_page: tshirt and shorts
  Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.
  Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
  Underage_page: A little.
  Maf54: Cool.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305408
text:
  <FFFFFFFF1> has anyone been sky diving?
  <bobbles> i fell down some stairs
  <bobbles> does that count


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305497
text:
  <@Plaid> Somebody just came out of the bathroom across the
  hall.... and this undeniable STENCH OF DEATH FOLLOWED THEM
  OUT.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305550
text:
  <Survivor> heh , metallica really sux
  <Waldo> yeah, they're a shitty mix of country and rock
  <Survivor> they was a good band before 90`s
  <Waldo> was they?!?!
  * Waldo pokes survivor in the eye


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305615
text:
  <Drychtnath> csn hold sm u ajcp;pjp
  <Drychtnath> *I cns hdol mu alclhoo
  <Drychtnath> *can, *hold, *my, *alcohol
  <getoutofmygalley> You should really go to bed, Dan. You're
  way too drunk.
  <Drychtnath> butr i'm not
  <Drychtnath> least i don't think dfo
  <Drychtnath> dfo = spo
  <Drychtnath> spo = os
  <Drychtnath> os = so


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305659
text:
  (ComradOtter) "A train station is where a train stops. A bus
  station is where a bus stops. On my desk I have a
  workstation..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305712
text:
  <Link> I'm going to make a PC Case, with a built in fridge.
  <Link> never will I be without a cold drink or snack again :D
  <pookie> put an athlon in there too
  <pookie> and you won't need a microwave either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305759
text:
  <@Rize> hmm nice, after installing IE7 and booting, I got 4
  messages saying the system has recovered from a serious
  mistake.
  <@Rize> is windows telling me something here? :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305808
text:
  <screechon> call him up
  <screechon> and tell him calmly to give you your money
  <screechon> and if not
  <screechon> take it to judge judy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305852
text:
  <tezorian> yeah, im going to get fucked up paintings and shit,
  its gonna be the coolest room ever !


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305900
text:
  *** Now talking in #dapcentral
  <Boinger69> i think so janx, but how are we going to get the
  monkey in spandex?
  <janx> yes. quite the conundrum
  <Fancia> ... This is *quite* a conversation to wander into.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.305953
text:
  * Mike0ne sneaks up quietly and has sex in Jarrith
  <cakemix26> just ackt up
  <Jarrith> MIKEONE HAS HERPES
  <Jarrith> oh god
  * Jarrith runs away
  <Jarrith> that was badly timed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306062
text:
  <Lucy> Anyways... Like no one is online coz it's friday and
  everyone is doing stuff and it's not fucking fair coz I wasn't
  invited.
  <OnslaughtSix> Aww.
  <Lucy> Yeah, that's right!
  <Lucy> So you have to be nice to me!
  <OnslaughtSix> brb
  <OnslaughtSix> Sorry, I had to get my violin to play you a sad
  song on.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306130
text:
  <Immortal> A friend of mine works as a janitor at a high
  school
  <Immortal> and that high school has a really advanced mental/
  developmentally handicapped program
  <Immortal> in other words, a special wing for retards
  <wm161> dyslexics of the world, untie!
  <Patrick_Moore> lol
  <Immortal> well anyway, the janitors put mousetraps in the
  rooms that the retards use
  <Immortal> but the retards kept setting them off to take the
  peanut butter
  <Immortal> eventually, they figured out that they could set
  them off with a foot and it would hurt less
  <Immortal> so they had to hide the mouse traps
  <Immortal> :D
  <Immortal> anyone who reads all that will think it's funny
  <Immortal> or else call me an insensitive bastard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306176
text:
  <genome> osir, would you mind doing /os umode genome +SqoaAN
  <~Osiris> -OperServ- Access Denied - Your NetAdmin is not a
  dumbfuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306380
text:
  <chop> My phone was vibrating on the kitchen table
  <chop> my and my bro are sitting watching TV
  <chop> we think someone is trying to drill their way through a
  window
  <chop> We were running everywhere
  <chop> I then have the brains to hit the panic buttons
  <chop> christ
  <chop> alarm people
  <chop> jesus
  <chop> then I see "1 Missed Call"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306470
text:
  <PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
  <PolestaR> in space
  <PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
  <PolestaR> I donno for sure


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306522
text:
  <RichiH> you could always use netbsd if you want maximum
  security
  <RichiH> ppl are gonna nmap you and see that it is a netbsd
  box
  <RichiH> so they will think "that's a propped-up toaster
  anyway, no use hacking it" and you are safe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306570
text:
  <Apoc-chan> What the hell. I bail from one split server only
  to get stuck on another.
  <Apoc-chan> >.< Today is not my day
  * Disconnected


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306644
text:
  <timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class
  <timmo> first day of highschool
  <timmo> made us write a a one page essay
  <timmo> on
  <timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART"
  <timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for
  the rest of my highschool career
  <timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art
  <timmo> and got 0 for it
  <timmo> i shrugged it off though
  <arse-poet> so why was porn art
  <arse-poet> according to your essay
  <timmo> i dont know
  <timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing
  <arse-poet> lol
  <timmo> i cant really remember
  <jestuh> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306691
text:
  <ibor132> on irc, if you dont have a picture you are
  automaticly a 50 year old man with a bucket of KFC in one hand
  and your dick in the other
  <mulletman13> but in reality they are 45 year old x-con child
  rapists who get off to you...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306740
text:
  <obso> christ
  <obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
  <obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
  <obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306835
text:
  <EM> heh i wonder if there will be any black people in my
  classes
  <EM> like i couldnt imagine black ppl being in cisco routing!!
  because black people just jack cars!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.306883
text:
  <Litzer> I bought a $3200 escort to take me to the movies last
  night
  <mechanicvirus> a car or a hooker?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307071
text:
  <+Aegis> fried chicken and malt liquor
  <+Onic> what you using fried chicken and malt liquor for other
  than the obvious Aegis
  <+Aegis> bait
  <+Aegis> my TV was stolen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307116
text:
  · Primate · how do you do actions?
  · Primate · ??
  ¤ @DjinnWraith slaps Primate around with a /me action
  · Primate · how'd you do that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307168
text:
  <Weregoose> I had to fill in these spaces (........ .....)
  with a phrase associated with "murder" and "alternative".
  Apparently, "elevator music" wasn't an acceptable answer.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307259
text:
  TehKirby: once you go black; you dont go back
  TehKirby: once you eat a cat; you want to mack
  zhulkogh: I couldn't have said it better myself.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307307
text:
  <Xavier> if it has 'teen' in the channel name, the collective
  iq of the group can automatically be assumed to be a negative
  value


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307355
text:
  <Jay> Did you hear about the Linux-car finishing last in the
  indy500?
  <MrBeek> I did now ;-)
  <MrBeek> Not surprised though... You know how impossible it is
  to find a decent driver for linux hardware?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307408
text:
  <mgt> i can't find any good porn anymore tho
  <mgt> i like reading stories now
  <mgt> it gets my imagination going
  <mgt> the trick is getting yourself to actually believe they
  are true
  <mgt> and not written by some fat horny star trek fan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307558
text:
  <logicalentity>
  0111100101101111011101010010000001100001011011000110110000100000011100110110110101100101011011000110110000000000

  <SquallStrife> unmoo! you all smell
  <SquallStrife> logicalentity: thats low, insulting people through binary
  <SquallStrife> i mean its low. literally, its low level :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307627
text:
  <spritegoddess> I had some kid call me up at work today
  <spritegoddess> (I work at TRU)
  <spritegoddess> asking me for help in Vice City
  <spritegoddess> and he sounded like he was maybe...10
  <spritegoddess> I don't know why he was calling the place
  where he bought the game for in-game help
  <Mank> Probably because his mom told him to, sprite.
  <spritegoddess> "It's ok sweetie, ask the nice toys 'r us lady
  about the prostitutes"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910722
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307714
text:
  <DooD> why is it that it's always the biggest, ugliest,
  burliest men that get gender reassignment surgery?
  <DooD> i could see getting surgery if you're like, 5 foot 3
  and look kinda like a girl...
  <DooD> but all these 6'4" 250 pound men with stubble and a
  voice deeper than james earl jones going "i feel like a woman
  trapped in a man's body" ...
  <suzu> if you're already feminine cute looking
  <suzu> you wouldn't need the surgery
  <DooD> suzu: sure you would
  <DooD> get rid of the optional material
  <suzu> no way
  <suzu> cuz the pretty feminine ones
  <suzu> would think "i'm so fucking sexy"
  <DooD> would think "im so fucking sexy it's ok to have a
  penis" ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910722
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307755
text:
  (irix): scrim?
  (irix): :o
  (jot): against?
  (irix): team colorado
  (irix): :)
  (jot): we only play people from states that matter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910722
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307806
text:
  <Slime> Smearing your weiner in dog food and going over to Rex
  does not count as losing your virginity
  <Slime> Trust me, I should know
  <Slime> You should have seen the faces at the hospital when I
  asked where the "Ward for People Who Have Had Their Penises
  Chewed On By Dogs"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910722
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307846
text:
  *Lilmuckers is the official sega ho
  *Lilmuckers has official sega ho powers
  *Heroin_Bob is the official Sega Pimp
  *Heroin_Bob slaps lil
  Heroin_Bob- get back to work ho!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307935
text:
  <Rift> i ditch girls for video games all the time
  <@monk-work> toggling between your porn window and your gaming
  window does not qualify as "ditching girls for video games"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.307980
text:
  «RazoR»: Hey, ZP, you there?
  «RazoR»: you suck cocks
  Zerg_Predator: yeah
  Zerg_Predator: hey!
  Zerg_Predator: damn laggy modem
  Zerg_Predator: I was answering to the quetion
  «RazoR»: you suck cocks is not a question
  «RazoR»: It's a fact


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308087
text:
  <Kash> Biee, my modem cost me 8 bucks
  <Bieeardo> Holy shit.  That's... oy.
  <Kash> IT IS A CURCUIT BOARD AND A BELL
  <Kash> circuit
  <Kash> lol
  <Bieeardo> Oh, so it's a hard-coded version of EQ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308228
text:
  <crnk>  I CAN ACTUALLY SAY I DON'T LOOK AT PORN
  <crnk>  BUT I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT I CAN'T NUT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308286
text:
  <Shadow> what the fuck
  <Shadow> my moniter just went black
  <Shadow> then came back on
  <&Aphrodite> You're lucky
  <&Aphrodite> I heard normally they never go back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308342
text:
  <pj325is> did you get a boner when your cousin told you about
  her lesbian experiences?
  <BigMilla2> no
  <pj325is> ok then
  <pj325is> *coughliarcough*
  <Cruzn15> are you impitant?
  <pj325is> impotent
  <StealthBuddha> important?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308440
text:
  <swampi^^> I just downloaded this pic
  <swampi^^> The title was bukkake ass pussy young lolita
  swallow cum eat meat shit piss drink old babe anal double
  veginal fuck tits breasts dick monster cock grannie german
  britney spears.jpg
  <el-el_cul_jay> ...
  <swampi^^> turned out to be a smiley face
  <el-el_cul_jay> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308537
text:
  [+Freeder] The Angry Dragon
  [+Freeder] Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's
  mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her
  nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308672
text:
  MrHahn2265: she is my sister
  MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
  MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through
  massive bangings on the keyboard
  MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
  MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308721
text:
  * FreeFrag finds it strange that as hardware gets older, your
  respect for it lessens.
  <milenko> FreeFrag: same with wives


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308856
text:
  <eldee> boozie: yeh.. kizer has alot of hooch-pr0n.. he must
  have a subscription to penthouse ;>
  <boozie> haha
  <KiZeR> good lord
  <eldee> penthouse == magazine for chicks who dont want to have
  fuck-scenes, and too ugly to be in playboy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308921
text:
  <MSN-02> MARCUS!
  <MSN-02> HELP!
  <MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly
  with my black Dell computer!
  <Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior
  Designer!
  <MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
  <MSN-02> Ah...
  <MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
  <MSN-02> >_<
  <Marcus> ...
  <Marcus> Too late to take it back now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.308975
text:
  <JustNoodle> be right back
  <JustNoodle> it's time for my daily sacrifice of a virgin
  <meatwad_> you're committing suicide?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309086
text:
  <Talwin> I masturbate cause my hand doesn't give me any
  backtalk
  <Talwin> I'm like "Get down there bitch"
  <Talwin> And its all "!! k"
  <Talwin> And afterwards it cleans itself off and doesn't say a
  thing
  <soap> i some times make a little puppet with my hand, and
  make it talk before i masturbate with it, saying things like
  "no, please...i'm a virgin!" and stuff like that.  you know,
  resisting a bit.  i like foreplay when i masturbate.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309185
text:
  <Insomniak> ow owow
  <Insomniak> ow
  <Insomniak> i hit myself in the nuts playing air guitar
  <Insomniak> again
  <nxn> darwin is hard at work


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309237
text:
  <Kimmay> yeah but these are real ppl: they took me (for free)
  form an XT to a 386, from a 2400 to a 14.4 from a CGA to an
  EGA and from DOS 2.1 to 5.0 ALL FREE
  <medic> and do these "real" people still use a UNIVAC?
  <Kimmay> whats that?
  <medic> your next upgrade.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309345
text:
  <kow> heh, lil is too anal
  <kow> I REALLY pissed him off today with that frozen fly
  <_absent> find a photo of a dead cat on images.google
  <_absent> post it on your site
  <_absent> and tell lil you killed that
  <kow> rofl
  <kow> I don't need to use google
  <kow> d:picsdead animals


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309390
text:
  * stupidMM shoots Sio in the face
  * Sio pulls out his awp - scopes twice - pulls the trigger and
  head shots stupidMM
  <stupidMM> hrm. not bad with someone who just got shot in the
  face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309490
text:
  <yalborap> So there're these 'don't start forest fires'
  commercials telling me to get my smokey on. And all I can
  think is "If an anthromorphic bear in a pair of jeans and one
  of those ranger hats comes up and tells me not to set stuff on
  fire, I probably already did".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309534
text:
  [11:29] *** kiwix is now known as kiwiGF
  [11:34] *** kiwiGF is now known as kiwix
  <mightyflo> that was quick.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309592
text:
  <McManus-wrk> how 'bout a pr0n site?  you'd get tons of hits
  :)
  <manual_overide> McManus-wrk: LOL
  <McManus-wrk> :D
  <KT> when the page loads up the page should say "kiddie pr0n
  is uncool! you should be ashamed of yourself! your IP has been
  logged and sent to the nearest law enforcement agency"
  <McManus-wrk> and then CLICK HERE for kiddie pr0n...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309652
text:
  <My`Albanian`Ass> why u miss me?
  <^hOTTIE^4^U^> yeh
  <^hOTTIE^4^U^> bAd
  <My`Albanian`Ass> how bad
  <My`Albanian`Ass> bad enough to masturbate urself infront of a
  mirror while wearing a face mask that looks like my face?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309699
text:
  <prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your
  tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309741
text:
  (alchemist) does a ps2 gameshark let you play burnt games?
  (Victor`) the short answer is: yes, you can play burnt games
  with a ps2 gameshark.
  (alchemist) long answer?
  (mojo) it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309785
text:
  <MickXII> Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of
  profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come
  10 percent responsibility


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309836
text:
  <Comanche> fuck off windows with your low dick space thing.
  <Comanche> err. *disk :P
  <Kim> LOL
  <Comanche> typo :P
  <xeon> lol, warning no dick found


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.309886
text:
  <Clutch1> Some fucker is using my name!
  <Zaratustra> Clutch is
  samuraislo@sc-24-24-233-120.socal.rr.com * Michael Pierce
  <Clutch1> Hmmm... I am that fucker.
  <Zaratustra> Indeed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310025
text:
  <bLacKywiNg> my ass hurts really bad right now...
  <bLacKywiNg> i haven't ridden one in a long time!
  <bLacKywiNg> but it was a really smooth ride once u get on it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310098
text:
  * Joins: |scott|
  (scott@dialup-63.209.124.98.Dial1.Orlando1.Level3.net)
  <|scott|> is anyone here
  <|scott|> damn this sucks
  <|scott|> i feel like a homeless 88 year old
  <|scott|> i shit my pants in Wallgreens today
  <|scott|> looked like pancake syrup was coming out of my ass
  <|scott|> wtf is wrong with me
  <|scott|> :(
  <|scott|> i hate my ass
  <|scott|> its getting back at me for all the spicy food i eat
  <madman`> sick
  <[mizi]> scott you're like a child.
  <[mizi]> what the hell is wrong with you
  <obs1d1an> ack dude
  <obs1d1an> better learn some fuckin muscle control son


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310237
text:
  <Yuri> heh damn man
  <Yuri> 93.1mb
  <Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
  <xerDM> heheh
  <Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
  <Yuri> heh
  <xerDM> hehe
  <Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted
  companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
  * Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
  <Dorn> aha
  <xerDM> haha
  <Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
  <Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
  <Dorn> course
  <Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
  <Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
  <Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
  <Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island
  sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
  <Dorn> :E


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310295
text:
  *** WFTP-Stats has entered[#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
  <WFTP-Stats> sux my dick
  *** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
  *** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
  <WFTP-Stats> losers
  *** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
  <Loman> weeeee
  *** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
  <WFTP-Stats> lazy bastards
  *** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
  *** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
  <WFTP-Stats> alright im sorry
  <WFTP-Stats> help me with my php now plz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310339
text:
  * edhel_espyn does not know about computer types/names/models,
  whatever. just knows that if box has a keyboard, brain
  automatically registers to senses and say "com-pyoo-ter" ;-P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310433
text:
  <Thrawn> i want to die and go to a place where i can screw
  tons of chicks.
  <Thrawn> actually
  <Thrawn> fuck dying
  <Thrawn> i just wan tto go to a place where i can screw tons
  of chicks.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310484
text:
  [JaymoFish] I can change jumper settings on my HDs via BIOS
  right?
  [Ben`] nope
  [JaymoFish] thats gay
  [Ben`] no, you're gay for not having them set right in the
  first place :P
  [JaymoFish] no
  [JaymoFish] they're set in right
  [JaymoFish] but to make an ext. HD
  [JaymoFish] you gotta set it to Master inside a computer
  [JaymoFish] then take it out
  [Ben`] dude
  [Ben`] you'll need to pull it out anyway to make it an
  EXTERNAL hard drive
  [Ben`] Won't YOU!
  [JaymoFish] oh yeah
  [JaymoFish] damnit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310613
text:
  <Xenocide> i brought a dvd for a teacher
  <Dodge2k1> huzzah!
  <Xenocide> and i have 2 differnt things named EVA on it
  <Xenocide> iatneh and regular
  <Dodge2k1> lol
  <Xenocide> :( i was supposed to bring the regular
  <Xenocide> but i brought the iatneh on accident
  <jasonn02> PRON?
  <Xenocide> It was about to start on the projector
  <Xenocide> but then i saw the label on the dvd
  <Dodge2k1> omfg
  <jasonn02> IT WAS PR0n?!?!
  <Xenocide> and jumped over and pressed eject before it could
  start
  <Xenocide> YES
  <jasonn02> LOLOL
  <jasonn02> ROFLMAO
  <Xenocide> ALMOST PROJECTED ON A HUGE FUCKING SCREEN
  <jasonn02> NEET
  <Kabuki_Dude> OMG
  <Xenocide> i almost had a heart attack


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310760
text:
  <Cob|afk>: fellows
  <Cob|afk>: let's chill
  <Cob|afk>: and be friends
  <jasper>: why
  <Cob|afk>: because i'll fucking stab you if you don't


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310862
text:
  <taurnil> Something freakin hilarious happened in my chemistry
  class today
  <taurnil> i was asking my teacher about the origins of the
  element "europium"
  <taurnil> i said "So, where does eouropium come from?"
  <taurnil> my teacher gives me the most confused look ever, and
  then slowly says "i don't have any opium"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.310957
text:
  [13:18] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #
  phear
  [13:18] <BombScare> woo...lets see how long my cable lasts
  today
  [13:22] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) Quit (Read
  error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
  [13:23] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #
  phear
  [13:23] <LPC> new record
  [13:23] <LPC> 4 minutes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311023
text:
  <harb> Shee.. I search for "linux unix bsd" on dice.com and it
  returns ONE job that's a sendmail admin. wtf.
  <acestus> What a sick job.
  <acestus> "What do you think you can bring to our company as
  the sendmail admin?"
  <acestus> "qmail."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311122
text:
  <Cringer> By an 8-1 vote Monday, the members of the U.S.
  Supreme Court collectively resolved to lose their virginity by
  Dec. 31, 2002.
  <danhon> Who gave the dissenting opinion?
  <Cringer> I bet Scalia.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311177
text:
  <demalavor> w00t!
  <jdrolet> w00t!
  <Zhuzhen> w00t!
  <CecilPL> w00t!
  <Valvados> w00t!
  <demalavor> we need a new word


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311239
text:
  <eviltown103> one time my friend was having ass sex wiht his
  gf in the living room
  <eviltown103> and when they were done....she dropped one on
  the carpet
  <eviltown103> then his parents came home
  <eviltown103> it ant biog
  <eviltown103> just a little thing
  <eviltown103> but
  <eviltown103> they ran out leaving it there
  <eviltown103> when the parents c it
  <eviltown103> they take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
  <STLFX0> LMFAOROFL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311287
text:
  <PrincessLeia2> crow, i think you would be a happier person if
  you had a fireplace... i feel so much better after we burn
  junkmail
  <Titu§ Crow> i would much rather burn junkppl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311385
text:
  <Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
  <Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL
  PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
  <Kaelic> Wtf?
  <Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311429
text:
  <ex-machina> aha! I just switched the britney case for the
  cracked alanis case! The angry canadian strikes again!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311525
text:
  <atl_jimbo> I wonder is Sara's still pissed at me....
  <atl_jimbo> being her friend and not being her friend, there's
  not much difference.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311595
text:
  <NekoGuy> Hey Guys, long time no see, ever since that fucking
  war on terror started, I'm currently building several
  strategic size nuclear weapons, and wanted you're opinion,
  I've secured weapons grade plutonium, now I can't decide, gun
  type or implosive war heads? I'm gonna mount them on #
  1283-8171-200 Deep Strike Cruise Missiles, so weight is an
  issue
  <NekoGuy> um... wrong channel/server
  <NekoGuy> sorry
  <Xypher> if that was an attempt to be funny it sucked.
  <NekoGuy> No, it was seriously the wrong channel/server
  <NekoGuy> fucking idiot.
  <Robby> implosive war head
  <NekoGuy> Really? Thanks.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311641
text:
  * Joins: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au)
  <SL69> no you cant have my children im sorry leave
  <SL69> ...
  * Parts: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311686
text:
  < segphault> command line interfaces, and convoluted keyboard
  shortcuts I
  have no problem with.... but the childproof cap
  on the advil
  bottle... its my arch-nemesis.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311782
text:
  <Khrath> the thing i miss most about dating
  <Khrath> was convincing those kids i was a teachers aid and
  they they were on a field trip


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311834
text:
  <Tarnagh> You know why the Clean Air Act was first
  established?
  <Askee> Why
  <Tarnagh> So the people in Colorado could see the mountains
  <Tarnagh> and so people in California could see each other


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311937
text:
  <kellin> I honestly don't think I'm all that big.
  <fishphood> I don't like big penis.
  <Dairenn> fishphood, meet kellin.
  <kellin> UH.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.311989
text:
  <apollyon> oh i'm so happy!
  <apollyon> my girlfriend just told me she wants to dual boot!
  <Nastard> is that geek for "see other people"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312085
text:
  <RokChik> just had my first mammogram and anytime you flatten
  anything that much, it just ain't ever going back to being
  fluffy and firm again. I just may sue.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312138
text:
  <iota> i think my son is prejudice
  <HgR`Your_Dead> [ iota ] why?
  <iota> i brought him a black vantriliquist dummy home from
  work and he ripped it's legs off
  <iota> the really bad part is i picked him up and made his
  mouth move and went can a nigga get a wheel chair


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312182
text:
  <NiteHawk> i want hard drives so small i can snort them up
  like powder and increase my brain capacity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312236
text:
  <tomg> are there any programs that will scan a remote ip to
  see if there are any common trojans on it (I want this for
  GOOD use :))?
  <JibberJim> Does anyone know where I can buy big guns, it's
  okay it's for a GOOD use.
  <Eibon> I'm looking for anthrax. Anyone know where I can find
  some?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312310
text:
  <Mercestes> ...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at
  work..:(
  <Mercestes> My boss was talking about this new "religious
  video game."  (he's catholic).
  <Mercestes> and I went off on a tangent and I was like,
  "oh...wow, what happens when you lose?"
  <Mercestes> and he turned his back and I threw out my arms
  like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!"
  <Mercestes> and my other co=workers were like, "OMG!  I forbid
  you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went
  "what'd I miss?"
  <Mercestes> no one would tell him.
  <Mercestes> and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and
  everyone started laughing again.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312366
text:
  <TriviaBot>  BIG.1372. Norse mythology: What killed Baldur ?
  <TriviaBot>  1st Hint: *********   Question Value : 3 Points
  <Darric> his gate
  <kutuzov> a gate
  <sheoul> lol
  <Darric> lolol
  <sheoul> NERDS!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312437
text:
  <sev> asus makes shitty mobos
  <sev> overpriced too.
  --> omega (medusa_a@A4B2D84.20510306.1C9FC6DF.IP) has joined #
  hell
  --- ChanServ gives channel operator status to omega
  --- ChanServ sets mode +a #hell omega
  <asus> loud out laugh's
  <asus> i have 3
  <asus> :P
  <sev> cool
  <sev> i have 1
  <sev> but it's dead
  <sev> ;)
  <omega> I have 0
  * omega wonders what the convo was
  <sev> japanese love slaves.
  <omega> oh
  <omega> yeah, I have 0


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312487
text:
  <GLE> Gah. I'm so bad at ring theory, and I have a midterm in
  it Friday.
  <GLE> It makes me want to fight people.
  <yakusoku> Does Field theory make you want to grow corn?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312543
text:
  <Jon^D> I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each
  line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates
  then sort
  <Jon^D> I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
  <Jon^D> and it didn't work very well
  <skank> cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312688
text:
  ChaosPid: She was already mad at me and she yelled "I'm gonna
  kill you"
  ChaosPid: and I responded....
  ChaosPid: "This is wierd, I swear to god I just heard you
  offer to make me a cake, but the words didnt match up with
  your lips at all........but chocolate, I suppose."
  Curt: What'd she do?
  ChaosPid: She looked like she was gonna die... left the room
  and then came back a few minutes later.... in a rage.
  Curt: LOL.
  ChaosPid: I then told her she shouldnt have left, if she
  wanted to go to the store to buy ingredients, she knew she
  would need a man to drive her to the store, and then I called
  her silly.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312794
text:
  <mconp> ?
  <mconp> yes?
  <copeaway> its jewellery.....
  <copeaway> i will never forget how to spell that one......it
  made me fail my year 6 exam back in 1983.....
  <copeaway> i had to repeat my whole year becuz of that damm
  word........
  <copeaway> then i met this group of junkies.....on the year i
  repeated.......
  <copeaway> and went into drugs and shit.........
  <mconp> because
  <copeaway> stuffed up my damm life
  <copeaway> i hate jewellery


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312845
text:
  <Uncle> eww rough
  <Uncle> theres a mans name in this book: Clitus
  <Uncle> imagine how much he got beaten up for that
  <GT2> yeah, i bet all the kids at Fictional High beat him up
  real good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312892
text:
  <Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats
  scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis
  occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in
  retalitory missle attacks"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312940
text:
  <pork> all the chicks here are either really ugly, lesbian, or
  men
  <CardCheat> some are all three, pork
  <Shovelbearer> uglesbimen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.312994
text:
  <rad_ed> NOOOOOO i didn't want to do that no no no no
  <Sharkd> what?
  <rad_ed> i added honey boo boo to my google news section
  <rad_ed> no no no no how do i undo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313042
text:
  Blade: "it was extremely unusual and we really wanted to find
  out why this thing had - what we call - burst"
  Blade: please explain this obscure phenomenon known as burst
  Blade: to the laypeople like myself
  Blade: i don't understand this parlance
  Blade: technical jargon isn't my forte
  Blade: scientific lingo baffles me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313092
text:
  <djLiKu> 8=========D
  <insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
  <djLiKu> yeah
  <djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313161
text:
  <Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you
  are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or
  football game shown on TV at a bar?
  <CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
  <TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up
  line..
  <xTrinity Luvx> yeah just be yourself
  <speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
  <speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
  <Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her
  back to your place
  <Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to
  your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food
  ration in half.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313205
text:
  (@RyJones) new laptop?
  (lukehop^) No, it's my old one, just gradually turning it into
  a cow
  (@RyJones) yeah my exwife did that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313267
text:
  <kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you
  gay?
  <Scofco> nope
  <kyle> good
  <Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
  <Scofco> either that, or a girl
  <Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
  <Scofco> at least not MY penis :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313312
text:
  <Shinji> good thing my microphone converts text two words! i
  never half too worry about some won beeting me two the
  punchlime.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313372
text:
  <res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
  <mattt> broadband?
  <res0> dick sucking lips
  <res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an
  astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any
  street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
  <jotun> yeah, that's my job!
  <res0> sucking dick?
  <jotun> :<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313418
text:
  <Thrice> my computer has 400 NIGGABYTES FREE!!!!!!
  <Deadbolt> niggabytes count as 3/5 of a byte, right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313467
text:
  KitterLittie> Man, this sucks
  KitterLittie> I just sat down to poo, but before I even sit
  down I hear this big *KERSPLOOOSH!*
  KitterLittie> So I'm all freaked out, wondering how that
  happened, I jump and turn around...
  KitterLittie> Turns out that I forgot I had the TV remote in
  my back pocket before I took my pants down :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313511
text:
  <tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a
  minimal octal instead of puging the cache


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313557
text:
  <AmaroK> LoL, this quote thing is probly the best bed time
  reading matterial since the bible
  <AmaroK> Infact, im some satisfied i might even have a
  ciggarette now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313605
text:
  <Naivete> hey joe, if you suck at UO pvp, SAY ABSOLUTELY
  NOTHING.
  <Kiler> rofl
  *** Joe_ is now known as Imkillingyou
  *** Imkillingyou is now known as nexttimeiseeyou


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313655
text:
  <Random> I wanna do a cpu stress test
  <Valaris> please to install norton antivirus
  <Valaris> aol
  <Valaris> and windows


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313705
text:
  <tgpretend> MICROSOFT BRAIN DRAIN CONTINUES. Fourteen-year
  <tgpretend>     vet. Paul Maritz resigns.
  <tgpretend> how can he be an m$ veterna if he's only 14?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313796
text:
  <Emiko> a if u turn off ur computer and ur dl something in IRC
  would it still dl or u have to dl it again??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313851
text:
  <The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont
  like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
  <Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
  <Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
  <Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313906
text:
  <Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start
  installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that
  USE-flag and expect things to work.
  * ML-37 grins
  <Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler
  and saying "this is now a car, off we go".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.313957
text:
  <^zauberer> I do not speak the english well but I will use a
  translator
  <Xanpony> Sure, I understand :)
  <^zauberer> :)
  <^zauberer> you are of which pay
  <Xanpony> Okey, there is problems with your translator :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314011
text:
  <FlashMan> nethack is installed
  <Jon2> An IRC chick stands in your path.  She wears a +5 ring
  of decreased mental stability.
  * sQurl kicks jon2
  <sQurl> I AM STABLE GOD DAMN YOU
  <sQurl> DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU
  <Jon2> The IRC chick attacks.  She misses.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314064
text:
  <Jaayy-EOC> Yeah.. I stole 5$ from Mike when I was at his
  house, but the funny thing is he doesn't know.
  <Derid-EOC> I do now, you dumbass.
  <Jaayy-EOC> Shit. When did you log on?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314112
text:
  <squire> can anyone here help me, i just dled a movie and i
  dunno what to do
  <kokoro> have you tried...watching it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314162
text:
  <Roundhouse> Where can I get Java Virtual Machine?  Microsoft
  is being bitches and I can no longer download it from their
  upgrade. Is there any place where I can get this at?
  <Maniacal> sun just might have a website


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314211
text:
  <rh-Raz_w3rk> if im not married by the time im 30, im going to
  slaughter a newly married couple
  <rh-Raz_w3rk> i like to set goals for myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314276
text:
  < back2u> yeah ... somme ppl r just born loosers like urslef
  ...
  < pairo> Hey, at least I can spell loser.
  < back2u> heh.
  < pairo> Not to mention "people", "are" and "yourself".
  < back2u> good for you ...
  < pairo> Oh, and "some".
  < back2u> the caybord is not a good one :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314337
text:
  <kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
  <kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching
  us play
  <kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it
  up
  <kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
  <kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
  <kmad> "Drugs."
  <kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with
  her kid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314385
text:
  <Hiryuu> Hey, which is more evil, kicking puppies or tearing
  those tags off of mattresses?
  <Estelle> Puppies heal, matresses don't


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314432
text:
  <octal> i think meeting lots of cute/etc. girls is easier if
  you're deaf and thus can tolerate raves.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314482
text:
  <Frizz0> anyone want a compaq proliant raid server 256M
  hardware raid p-pro200
  <Frizz0> its about to get sold for drugs
  <k5sss> payment in drugs, or payment in cash to buy drugs?
  <Frizz0> either way is fine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314536
text:
  <Murgatroyd> You know you've been playing Nethack too much
  when...
  <Murgatroyd> You look both ways down the corridor, start to
  sweat... then realise you're looking at your EMail address.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314588
text:
  <joshkr>  Who is this General Error, and why's he scanning my
  hard drive?
  <de0n>    He's the boss of Major Malfunction
  <bismuth> Looking for Private Pictures


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314634
text:
  <DemonEater> "This is Pearl Jam.  This is Jesus.  This is
  Pearl Jam on Jesus.  Please, say no to Creed"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314685
text:
  Promisemememphis: there was a girl in one of my bio teachers
  classes and they had to put a cotton swab in their mouth and
  look at the slide
  Promisemememphis: he went to look at hers because she saw
  something moving and told her it was a sperm
  Promisemememphis: which meant that she'd just given some guy
  head in lunch like fifteen minutes before hand
  Promisemememphis: he wouldn't let her leave the class either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314778
text:
  <CoRDS> damn my cat is lazy, he is just lying on the bed
  showing off his testicles
  <|CluBCaT|> I was there about 10mins ago


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314829
text:
  <MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh
  can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
  <ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding
  masturbation as well, MrP-
  <kalani> LOL
  <SprSamat> hrmm
  <MrP-> oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314899
text:
  <Lyssa> 4 days and I'm 16!
  <Lyssa> I am 15.987066 years old
  <Spazz`> 4 days and we can have legal sex0r in colorado!  >:D
  <Lyssa> ...
  <Lyssa> 4 days and I'm 12**
  <Spazz`> We can have legal sex0r in Kentucky!
  <Spazz`> >:D
  <Lyssa> hahahah
  <Koloran> ur not related
  <Spazz`> Oh shit.  :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314950
text:
  <mos6581> i made a pornomovie once. though, i had such a small
  budget that i couldn't afford to hire any actors, so i had to
  act all alone. I gave the movie a name "hand".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.314998
text:
  <xchlathx> "Dumbledore returns from the dead and declares it
  to be hammertime, Harry proceeds to break it down, Voldemort
  is unable to touch this."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315062
text:
  <nothin> halc: I could build a 64TB SCSI RAID array for
  $210,000 or so
  <nothin> Single machine.
  <mij> i could clone you for $210,000
  <mij> :)
  <nothin> I suppose another $10,000 for a machine with power to
  serve it all
  <nothin> mij: What a waste.
  <mij> not really
  <mij> cuz then you could build twice as many of those machines
  in a day
  <mij> and i'd make bank
  <mij> :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315154
text:
  <diranged> silly ghost bear
  <diranged> where's no sense there's no feeling
  <diranged> so pointing pistol at my head is rather useless


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315236
text:
  <melvin> you need a mullet piccolo
  <piccolo> [Jan Johnston - Unafraid][3m52s/192kbps/stereo]
  <piccolo> :/
  <piccolo> [DeVision - Heart-Shaped Tumor (Icon Of Coil Mix)]
  [5m38s/192kbps/stereo]
  <melvin> don't make me turn my mp3 script back on >:|
  <piccolo> [01 - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
  <piccolo> [Fear Factory - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
  <melvin> that's it assmunch
  <melvin> prepare to be assaulted by fagotry
  * melvin IS SENDING WINAMP DATA TO MIRC!! HE IS PLAYING
  Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus OMG OMG OMG!! I HOPE THIS
  ISN'T ANNOYING ^_^ KEKEKEKE HUK HUK HUK - NOW GET ON YOUR
  KNEE'S AND BOW BEFORE ME!! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus !
  Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus ! Dillinger Four - Mosh for
  Jesus !!!
  * melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
  * melvin dances! :D/-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
  * melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
  * melvin dances! :D-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
  <melvin> Please note as I (melvin) am playing Dillinger Four -
  Mosh for Jesus. It is currently 19:25:19 - 18/09/2002
  <Kitsa> melvin: fuck off
  <melvin> <3


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315299
text:
  <firefacks> cout << "hello" << endl;
  <CoccaFukuda> printf("Sup");
  <firefacks> Console.WriteLine("not much");
  <sjmulder> ObjectFactory.Resolve<IGreeter>().Invoke();


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315399
text:
  <Guilty> You see
  <Guilty> Fat ugly girls shouldnt be allowed to use ":)"
  <Guilty> Their sign should be "=)000"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315543
text:
  <Anton> Facial stabbing. Oozing blood. Shotgun vaginally
  inserted. Brains splatter over the wall.
  GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!
  <Anton> is a good death metal track


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315591
text:
  <MattsGirl> my surname gets pronounced many ways
  <NixsGirl> what the right way to say it?
  <MattsGirl> Bee-at-ch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315632
text:
  Dun fck wit meh: when muslim women come to my door i talk to
  them through the mail slot, see how they like it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315676
text:
  <Digital-^> i love brits , every time i hear someone mention a
  fag break all i can think of is someone knocking on my door ,
  picking me up , and smoking me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315777
text:
  schraitle: have you ever noticed how geeks and the rest of the
  world are going backwards from each other?
  schraitle: i mean, the geeks started on email and chatrooms,
  while the rest of the world were using phones
  schraitle: and now, everyone's using text messaging and stuff
  on their cell phones, while the geeks have VoIP and skype
  schraitle: somebody's going the wrong way


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315824
text:
  <Canas> your humor pleases only the children and the dim
  witted
  <JackPhantasm> same with your penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315890
text:
  <@skold> im still happy with my tbird
  <@skold> cant say i wouldnt buy a 2400+ right now if i had the
  money
  <@skold> heh new server with users and an admin who doesnt
  seem to be a moron
  <Flux> where?
  <Taranis> Linux's memory manager is way better than Window's
  <@skold> wtf did that come from :P
  <@skold> 'hey whats up' 'LUNIX TRUELY IS THE SUPERIOR
  OPERATING SYSTEM'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.315942
text:
  <Dest> tate: If useless facts got you women, I'd be beating
  them off with shotguns
  <Fenris> instead of beating himself off with a mitten


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316040
text:
  <McMoo> some gorgeous ladies asked me if i knew where building
  PHR was today
  <McMoo> i should have worked it all smooth style
  <McMoo> and told them it was in my pants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316091
text:
  <Stooert> asian girls with big boobs rule
  <RedXIII> they do
  <Stooert> cuz its just so rare
  <RedXIII> like a clown with a phd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316188
text:
  <Viperz> I don't know what to write on my college application
  for community service that I've done...
  <SG> Priest in World of Warcraft


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316243
text:
  <jiy> every time i join a suicide channel on dalnet i get
  banned and accused of being a troll
  <jiy> today, when the fuckers were discussing cutting, i said
  "tell me how to cut myself"
  <@skold> you dont know how to cut yourself?
  <@skold> how the fuck can you screw that up?
  <@skold> no wonder you want to kill yourself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316288
text:
  <GeoTube> Seriously, my family is retarded, they have to write
  D, E or F on the cd/dvd reader/writers so they know which one
  is which when they put a disk in!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316335
text:
  [@revmoo]: O_o
  [@revmoo]: I love windows
  [@revmoo]: I unpack a divx on k:
  [@revmoo]: and it tells me
  [@revmoo]: "C: is running out of space"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316454
text:
  * Rask says AHEM extremely loudly.
  * Blasphemy gives Rask a cough drop.
  <Denise> SARS! :o
  <Chickita_Banana> lol
  * Denise passes out masks.
  * Rask sticks it in his nose and says AHEM again.
  <Chickita_Banana> a cough drop in your nose?
  * Denise watches it shoot out of Rask's nose and hit Chickita
  in the face.
  <Denise> Maybe it's a nose drop.
  <Chickita_Banana> lol
  * Chickita_Banana throws it at Denise
  * Denise gets it lodged in her throat.
  <Blasphemy> o.o
  * Denise does the heimlich on herself.
  <Blasphemy> Denise.
  * Denise lives.
  <Blasphemy> You're wierd.
  * Denise spears Blasphemy.
  * Denise drags him to her igloo.
  * Chickita_Banana watches
  <Blasphemy> Plz don't rape me >_< I'll do anything!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316554
text:
  <Exor[B-A]> gay
  <ZahanTheThief[B-A]> yes exor you are good to see you came to
  terms
  <Exor[B-A]> fk me
  <Exor[B-A]> ;\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316603
text:
  <max> do i need to download the 2nd disc of any movie or just
  the first?
  <Daki> You can download only the first, but the ending is kind
  of a cliffhanger


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316699
text:
  <Kaz|Work> holy fucking shit
  <Kaz|Work> im out of a job
  <Kaz|Work> the place blew up
  <@Zoot> better change your nick then.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316797
text:
  <Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go
  first.
  <Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the
  hell up.
  <Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316892
text:
  [XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day
  [Childzy]: uh.. okay
  [XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong
  [XClaireX]: ..
  [XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316938
text:
  <Forcepath> i need advice!
  <Forcepath> on second thought: asking for advice in IRC is one
  of the classic movie blunders...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.316998
text:
  <JasonM> Oh my god.
  <JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO
  GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
  <JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
  <JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
  <aikon> LOL!
  <JasonM> I pissbolted.
  <JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a
  burned emo corpse on the ground


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317046
text:
  <FluKex> isnt cheddar house for the alternative sexual
  preference people?
  <crib> FluKex you mean fags?
  <FluKex> crib my term is less..  umm,  bah,  ya,   its for
  fags


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317144
text:
  <Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get
  down tonight"?
  <Fox_Alan> dunno..
  <Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
  <Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a
  song
  <Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
  <Borlath_Mon> :D-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
  <Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
  <Borlath_Mon> make a little love
  <Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
  <Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
  <Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
  <Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
  <Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
  <Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
  <Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
  <Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
  <Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
  <Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317189
text:
  <EviL_Dr_BounCe> Heh ya moms got one tooth in her mouth and
  she snaps holes into doughnuts for a living....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317267
text:
  <bennyb73> People who abuse animals should be shot in the
  face.
  <29fps> If I can kick an animal's ass, then that's natural
  selection at work right there, baby. We were put on this
  planet to conquer, and today's pansy-ass hippies are nothing
  but a disappointment in God's eyes.
  <29fps> What do you think the guy at the golden gates is
  checking under your name in his big book when you're standing
  in line? How many puppies you've kicked in your life, that's
  what.
  <ksaintdouble> Isn't it the pearly gates? Or are you talking
  about that homeless guy who stands in front of SanFran
  yelling?
  <bennyb73> If that doesn't sound like God, I don't know what
  does.
  <29fps> IT'S WHATEVER GATES THE GOOD LORD WANTS, PEARLY GATES,
  GOLDEN GATES, BILL GATES, WHATEVER.
  <Valvados> If it's Bill Gates I really think I'd rather go to
  hell.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317372
text:
  <ZiggyPopFoo> does anyone know how to install OpenBSD i hav ti
  on disk and i cna load it and everyhtin but i dunno how to
  install it properly without wiping over windows, plz help lz?
  <notick> buy a unix help manual.
  <ZiggyPopFoo> i dont have unix in have openbsd u fucking def
  bastard.
  <notick> oh, my bad! (idiot)
  *ZiggyPopFoo forgives notick
  <ZiggyPopFoo> dont worry i have had nowledge about openbsd for
  yers its just open bsd is the hardest one of them all, ull
  learn as mich about as i know some day.
  <notick> Shower me with your god-like wisdom, ZPF
  <ZiggyPopFoo> wisdom??? I HAVE OPENBSD!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317439
text:
  <Iyouboushi> hm.. personally, if it was me.. I'd be more
  worried about finding Kouga (who has 2 shards in his legs) and
  Kohaku (who has a shard in his back)
  <Iyouboushi> I'd get the two shards from Kouga and take them
  to the modern times
  <Iyouboushi> that way Naraku couldn't complete the jewel
  <Iyouboushi> because you know once he has the jewel from the
  "after-life" place, he's immedately going to kill Kouga and
  Kohaku
  <Rowen_Hashiba> man i can't breathe... too much geek in here,
  it's affecting my sinuses


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317485
text:
  <Gargoyle> seriously, between dance dance whatthefuck,
  singstar, and now this, what the fuck is actually wrong with
  asian people?
  <Gargoyle> I blame the americans, after all the japanese
  people are the only ones to have ever been nuked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317577
text:
  <Shoe> Saw the back of a semi-cab today.
  <Shoe> It had the text: Jesus Never Tapped Out
  <The_Purple_Bunny> No but he did get pinned.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317636
text:
  <j0e> when i want to download music i look up what the band
  thinks about filesharing
  <j0e> if they're okay with it, i download the song
  <j0e> if they're against it, i download the song out of spite
  <UriGeller> what if they haven't said anything on filesharing
  <j0e> that's what i call a tacit endorsement


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317682
text:
  <drdink> what are c31487-a and cc31487-a?
  <drwiii> they are numbers, accompanied by letters and dashes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317733
text:
  <@Phae> we could get a hooker, and patch it with a gf crack...
  then it'd be free,a nd you wouldn't have to register it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317784
text:
  Zeon> if we lived together
  <Zeon> wed be like.. stephen hawking
  <Zeon> merge our combined genius;s
  <Street_Prophet> yeah, you'd contribute the retard in a
  wheelchair part


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317834
text:
  <stenzel> fuck you dude, i aint answering any more of your
  shitty questions
  <moomin_two> not even this one?
  <stenzel> no
  <moomin_two> ha, dumbass
  * stenzel (~stenzel@***) Quit (fucker)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.317970
text:
  (akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
  (akerom) or a fat naked girl
  (akerom) im making a comic of last night


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318035
text:
  <Horseymen> Don't you hate when you're doin' a girl..
  hardcore.. giving her the love.. giving her the two finger
  g-spot discount.. and she friggin shoots her load all over
  your bed and all over you?
  <Horseymen> I hate messes though.. chicks need to have that
  internal orgasm keep that fluid up in there, up in there..
  <utahsaint> dude
  <utahsaint> that is like
  <utahsaint> the epitomy of being a stud
  <utahsaint> giving a girl a squirting orgasm
  <Horseymen> You taught me well, Craig!
  <utahsaint> werd
  <Horseymen> That Amanda chick came like a rainstorm in a
  tropical forest.. but it was all over her bed.. so it was all
  good.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318131
text:
  <Don Ravioli> you hear about [M]?
  <Xav> you mean about how it's full of rampant homosexuals?
  <Xav> yeah i heard, bad news man.
  <Don Ravioli> haha
  <Don Ravioli> why bad news?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318273
text:
  <NightShade> you know what a vampire puts in his hot water to
  make tea?
  <NightShade> a used tampon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318324
text:
  * ChanServ sets mode: +o Anubus
  <@Anubus> ° I got the Powwa stick! °
  <+DaS> how'd you know I called it that?
  <+DaS> and what are you doing holding it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318412
text:
  <CorinTheCobb> omg i just opened a pic of a guy blowing
  himself while at work :( my boss is like right behind me!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318460
text:
  <DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I
  can beat them - and feel good about it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318513
text:
  <HansonSis> oh, screw the japanese...they knew what they did
  the moment they did it, and they'll never do it
  again....bombing them would be a waste of a good bomb....drop
  it on people who don't know we mean business yet3

  <MalkavsWisdom> Yeah.. those damn ethiopians.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318565
text:
  <Gonads> Happens to me too. Actually, I get upset with myself
  if I see a word I don't know the meaning of. Which is starting
  to happen more and more.
  <Apocalypse> Theoretically it should be happening in a
  mitigate and subjacent idiosyncrasy.
  <Gonads> Fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318617
text:
  <@kbx> JOHN ROMERO CUT HIS HAIR!
  <@kbx> www.mynx.com he looks like a punk ass muthafucka now,
  he was teh sexAy.
  <+pannenkoeken> he sold his hair and made more money than from
  daikatana


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318679
text:
  <proto> So, I was thinking-- if I were a cannibal and I was
  eating some guy, would his arms be wings that I could have
  with bleu cheese and celery?
  <mook> Um.
  <proto> And would from the knees down be like drumsticks? KFM
  original recipe?
  <mook> If you say lady fingers I'm going to kick you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318726
text:
  <KillerB> man, while I'm excited about the interview, getting
  my ass up at like 1:30pm is gonna blow.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318795
text:
  <Chikster> Oh wow ur little comments can go fuck a goat.
  <Chikster> LoL
  <Chikster> now that i read what i said i see where u got that.
  <BadCaleb> i'd pay to see that.. i can't explain why, though
  <nyisles> text on a computer screen can't exactly have sex
  with a goat...
  <Chikster> well..true
  <Chikster> but someday
  <BadCaleb> in  aperfect world.. words will roam around,
  fucking all sorts of animals
  <BadCaleb> but not mine..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318856
text:
  <Alvin> so there are four guys in one prison cell. One is a
  zoophile, one is a sadist, then there's a necrophile and an
  extremesports athelete.
  <Alvin> the zoophile says: ahh, if I had a cat here, I'd fuck
  it till I pass out.
  <Alvin> the sadist says: ahh, after that I'd torture it until
  it's dead
  <Alvin> the necrophile: wow, after that I'D fuck it till I
  pass out
  <Alvin> the extremesports guy is sitting in a far corner and
  very quietly says: mjau


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318905
text:
  <Spud> Man, watching Fear Factor earlier.  Two Hot Chicks +
  Horse Rectum Eating Contest = TurnOn++
  <rzrshrp> *barf
  <Spud> Synthetic horse rectum, of course, but still...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.318960
text:
  <Shyster> pikachan, hentai scared me =(
  <@PikaChan> well uhh
  <@PikaChan> what am i supposed to do about that? :/
  <@PikaChan> oh btw shy remind me to kill you later
  <Shyster> k
  <@PikaChan> thanks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319013
text:
  <Thrae> Your testes are egg-shaped, because testes used to be
  ovaries before your gender was determined pre-birth.
  <Thrae> All men started out with female sex organs until
  gender was specified. It explains a lot, eh?
  <ckknight> we overcame adversity.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319084
text:
  <Nydus> hey whatsup
  <Zoom> GAY
  <Nydus> ok...
  <Zoom> GAY
  <Nydus> dude whats wrong with you
  <Zoom> GAY
  <Nydus> i just wanna talk
  <Zoom> GAY
  <Nydus> you know, a rumor is going around that you are...
  <Zoom> GAY
  <Zoom> CRAP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319177
text:
  NeoNess: My cell phone rang in the church and everyone looked
  at me.
  I answered it and someone told me to turn it off.
  I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them,
  and he would smite them with his holy fist.
  I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice.
  long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319237
text:
  <sweetlisa> hi i'm singel and lookin for a bf...private msg me
  :)
  <Ninja_Dib> i have a gf
  <DJMORGAN> i have a bf
  <Johnsee> I have a gf
  <psynapse> i have wood
  <knokturnal> i have a milf
  <Ninja_Dib> LOL
  <DJMORGAN> knokturnal: you know if u actually say that
  including the acronym that doesnt sound very good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319285
text:
  <Witchy> is there anyone on #wicca you actually talk to?
  <Maloo> ofcourse just not on irc
  <Maloo> im on irc for 1 reason, and it isnt something as
  trivial as chat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319334
text:
  <`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some good ftps for
  movies
  <coene|awake> ftp://this:isnt@awarez.channel
  <`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> is that up right now?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319382
text:
  -!- WetWired has joined #linux
  < WetWired> Wow, how... boring.
  -!- WetWired has left #linux []
  <@supruzr> he's gone. bust out with the clowns and the drugs
  and the hookers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319444
text:
  <Nosnam> Who?
  <mystie> this dude on jeopardy, he was on his 20th return
  today
  <Nosnam> Woah
  <mystie> I didn't happen to catch if he won again today
  <NeoHentaiMaster> he is a robot sent from the future to win
  the prize money so others cant
  <NeoHentaiMaster> he will slowly drain the world economy until
  all collapses into chaos
  <Nosnam> George Bush is on jeopardy?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319494
text:
  <JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i
  climb that tree in your yard
  <Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you?
  <JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum
  <JtotheB> you tell me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319551
text:
  <Platterkat^> there's currently a hearing underway to find out
  who knew what and when regarding kickbacks to Saddam's regime
  from the australian wheat board
  <Platterkat^> the deputy prime minister said yesterday I"
  don't recall" 26 times
  <Kadon> the australian wheat board.. why must they always try
  to influence global politics
  * Kadon tears up his fan club card


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319601
text:
  <bLaKeiMuS_TiReD> i had a dream 2 nights ago that my penis was
  stuck in the hole of a TDK silver cd and i was really nervous
  <jAyVeNoMx> damn dood if my dick fit in a CD hole I'd be
  nervous too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319645
text:
  <bionic_6) Dude never argue with an idiot. They will bring you
  down to their level and beat you with experience.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319695
text:
  * @Cryogen jumps up and down
  <@[4K^Got|AW]> I'm putting it in and stuff
  <@[4K^Got|AW]> it's coming VERY soon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319803
text:
  <EK> Quentin Tarinto on the use of CGI in movies "'You know,
  my guys are all real. There's no computer fucking around. I'm
  sick to death of all that shit. This is old school with
  fucking cameras. If i'd wanted all that computer game
  bullshit, I'd have gone home and stuck my dick in my
  Nintendo."
  <Nikaji> o_O
  <Chaosmeika> nintendo has a penis port?
  <EK> I wish.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319852
text:
  < tmbg_> anyone given thought to using accelerometers from
  laptops as entropy inputs?
  < tkoskine> "Generating a new encryption key, please shake
  your computer" ? :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319902
text:
  <@PookHappy> Clinique invisible skin remover
  <@PookHappy> for when you really want to show off your
  cranium!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.319952
text:
  <SYch0> wwf the music vol 4
  <sasami> I saw that CD at a store . .
  <sasami> It was in the "HICK" section.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320002
text:
  <alice333> ya at 14 you still exploring your own body....boy
  <Canasian> LoL exploring?
  <Canasian> Girls explore their body
  <Canasian> Boys just jack the fuck off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320097
text:
  <YyzKnicks> what is anal sex anyway, when you think about it
  too much and get neurotic?   Ohh, you mean butt sex


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320146
text:
  <Andrigaar> there's a good rumor to start up again. "Jacking
  off till it blisters will form calluses and make if bigger in
  a few months."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320196
text:
  * Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
  <mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your
  script
  <Praetorian> yep :-) ta
  <milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a
  bit of action?
  <milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum
  tum  after 1mins 12secs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320255
text:
  <Tovart|Away> Pino, i'm wondering
  <Tovart|Away> You're from Japan, right?
  <pino>  g  ?I
  <Tovart|Away> I'll take that as a yes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320316
text:
  (elend) now back to figuring out where my ut cd is
  (elend) I've officially come to the conclusion the Ensim
  WEBppliance lib took the UT disc to the local bar to get drunk
  (elend) Ensim: "Hey, you want to magically vanish?" UT Disc:
  "Oh I don't know...." Ensim: "It's cool, I'm a piece of shit,
  I know how to get away with these things"
  (elend) so right now some binary compiled code and a disc are
  sitting at some bar getting wasted no doubt.
  <Rustblade> then they will proceed to get laid afterwards
  <Rustblade> sad thing is, the UT disc and ensim will get laid
  BEFORE we ever do


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320376
text:
  <mindcrime> i er
  <mindcrime> hung up with the pizza dude
  <mindcrime> and i were like going to say "ah, lovely, thanks"
  <mindcrime> and i er
  <mindcrime> managed to say "I love you"
  <mindcrime> he must think im a complete freak


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320438
text:
  <@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
  <@Matt> 1.
  <@Matt> 2.
  <@Matt> 3.
  <@Matt> 4.
  <@Matt> 5.
  <@Matt> 6.
  <@Matt> 7.
  <@Matt> 8.
  <@Matt> 9.
  <@Matt> 10. Women have tits


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320536
text:
  <Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find
  yourself listening to ACDC
  <Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts
  playing and shit
  <Vast|away> fucking annoying
  <Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do
  eh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320581
text:
  * darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are
  just Bill Hicks quotes
  <darkLem> cheating bastards.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320642
text:
  <aleks_> anybody know of a linux app that performs an
  operation similar to windows XP's "bridge network"?
  <@Lion-O> aleks_: first of all, what does that thing do ?
  <PufF-> its a cheat to get around the 'hassle' of subnet'ing
  <@Lion-O> aleks_: oh, then I have a solution. Cheat and ask a
  real admin to set it up for you, then take the glory.  I guess
  the app would be called "mail".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320814
text:
  (¨) join/#idle (X_[WaReZ]_!
  SD_mIRC@dialup-209.245.74.174.LosAngeles1.Level3.net)..
  (X_[WaReZ]_) hey
  (X_[WaReZ]_) do you know how 2 idle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320857
text:
  (@bart`) bwhahhahahahahah. i think they should send that
  little girl from the pepsi commercials to cuba too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320905
text:
  <Animepix> NEW SAILORMOON EPS STARTING ON THE 12th
  <Unit01> [Animepix]: go get all your little fairy friends and
  tell them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.320999
text:
  <Syntax_Crash> I just got a 40x burner to replace my old 8x
  <Syntax_Crash> my piracy productivity just went up by 500%


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321053
text:
  <Tim3WorX> somtimes
  <Tim3WorX> when i'm naked
  <Tim3WorX> and alone
  <j4yj0hn> dont finish that sentence


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321103
text:
  <Kazeuri> I feel like such a nerd
  <Chris> Why?
  <Kazeuri> I went to go call my girlfriend, and when I was
  thinking of the first numbers to dial, instead of 535, "HTTP"
  came to my head


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321156
text:
  <NateDog> HH, I'd accept a blowjob from anyone as long as they
  didn't have herpes or some other mouth disease
  <`Syntax> Nate would accept a blowjob from *!*@*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321217
text:
  <Tenchi147> if you were in a shower with another guy and he
  droped the soup
  <Tenchi147> would you do anything?
  <Oolong^Pokemon> not if it wasn't my boyfriend
  <Oolong^Pokemon> hell no
  <Tenchi147> I am not thinking while typeing
  <Tenchi147> I am going to shut up now
  <Katarica> If I was in the shower and another girl dropped the
  soup
  <Katarica> I would wonder why the HELL she was eating soup in
  the fucking shower


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321359
text:
  <shyster> the other day
  <shyster> my girlfriend asked me about my wildest fantasies
  <shyster> I probably shouldn't have told her they all involved
  other women


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321416
text:
  <Imajin> I bet you havent heard of Hingham MA either.
  <Foom> no, but i've heard of MA.
  <||bass> ive seen MA on the map....
  <||bass> it's purple!
  <||bass> :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321517
text:
  * CookieS rubs SC's boobie
  <Kintaro_0e> C.c
  <SC> O.O
  <CookieS> I'm making a wish
  <Kintaro_0e> A deathwish


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321568
text:
  <Demon Beaver> So, at the LAN-party, there was a new guy.
  <Demon Beaver> And when he went for a drink, we snuck up to
  his pc, and created a folder called Horse-Porn on the desktop.
  <Demon Beaver> Then we took a screenshot, put it as his
  wallpaper, and deleted the folder.
  <Demon Beaver> He tried to get rid of that folder for 3 hours!
  ^^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321667
text:
  <GregMoore> -v raxor
  <GregMoore> FUCK
  <GregMoore> lol
  <GregMoore> -ox raxor
  <GregMoore> -o raxor
  <GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321716
text:
  <DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints
  to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of
  these back this schools getting locked down and everyones
  getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later
  when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop
  had 4


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321760
text:
  [Chocolate_Jihad]  ahh depth perception she is harsh mistress
  [Chocolate_Jihad]  so much good but at such a great cost
  [Darkure]  you mean to your dignity?
  [Chocolate_Jihad]  unfortunately


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321808
text:
  Princess Ryo: lindsay, you're not good at keeping secrets at
  all.
  SynistraDeath: rob my dad is in here
  SynistraDeath: shut up
  Princess Ryo: LINDSAY
  Princess Ryo: EVEN IF WE ARE OCEANS APART
  Princess Ryo: I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER
  SynistraDeath: shut up
  Princess Ryo: SEND ME MORE LETTERS
  Princess Ryo: AND MORE PANTIES
  SynistraDeath: ROB SHUT THE FUCK UP
  Princess Ryo: PREFFERABLY SOILED PLZKTHX


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321854
text:
  <shoe_> when i watched the two towers the other day... it hit
  me ddenly
  <shoe_> WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.321913
text:
  <Mepitans> Quantum leap is one of the greatest shows ever
  <Mepitans> and bakula made it that way
  <Quantum> he was good then, but not startrek
  <Mepitans> never watched that show
  <Mepitans> Quantum Leap makes up for anything
  <Mepitans> he could be doing gay porn and still kick ass
  <FlyNavy> heh
  <Zippycut> well not "kick" per se.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322001
text:
  <Denwa> Italiana should only be in charge of making unreliable
  cars that look cool
  <Joe> proves how little of a true slav lives in you
  <Denwa> Now now
  <Denwa> Slav vehicle may also break down
  <Joe> maluch doesn't break down
  <Joe> nor does 125p
  <Denwa> But they also only need bottle of vodka and semecki to
  run
  <Denwa> Use mayonez as grease
  <Denwa> Good to go
  <Joe> maluch runs on literally anything
  <Joe> if you defecate or piss into the tank enough it will run
  flawlessly
  <Joe> though rip people who inhale the fumes
  <Denwa> Also aren't fiat 126 technically not Italian
  <Joe> manufactured by fiat
  <Joe> italian
  <Joe> designed by an italian as well
  <Denwa> But they were made in Polan....
  <Joe> a lot of shit is made in polan and yet you wouldn't call
  it polan
  <Joe> like death camps for example
  <Denwa> You win this round


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322097
text:
  <@a-arse> sheeit, think me mum saw pr0n
  <@a-arse> alt-tab doesn't work when the other window is porn
  too :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322144
text:
  iamouija: Because I'm Jewish
  iamouija: and eVERYONE HATES JEWS
  fireydarkness: I didn't know you were jewish
  fireydarkness: bitch I hate you, go away -.-


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322208
text:
  <Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
  <Ramza> and don't say because of windows
  <Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown
  Host"?
  <Ramza> yes
  <Cyan683> .....
  <Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
  * Cyan683 sets mode: +i
  * Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham!    --  Kibou to Hikari no
  script)
  * Cyan683 sets mode: -i
  * Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
  <Ramza> no?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322261
text:
  <rapty> I'm doing homowork. :(
  <rapty> Err. homework.
  <BLiZZ> ROFL.
  <rapty> It was a typo. Seriously.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322315
text:
  <@EvilSxxd> it's a sad sad day when a man lets a woman move
  into his balls
  <@Vashie> my nutsack is as safe as fort nox
  <@EvilSxxd> checked and handled by 1000s of sweaty soldiers a
  day?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322386
text:
  <dingo> so i was talking to k-ron on the phone, telling him
  about that cop talking shit aobut 'distribution', and he says
  'bullshit'!
  <dingo> and in the background i hear his sister bitching at
  him for swearing
  <dingo> so he says "shut up, mom says 'shit' all the time!"
  <dingo> and her retort is: 'yeah, but you said the WHOLE word!
  '


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322440
text:
  <Jabberwocky> my best friend has been trying to get me
  together with one of her friends. And I'm headed over there
  tonight to -NO INNUENDO HERE- install an ethernet card in her
  laptop.
  <Jabberwocky> "Deirdre, I've been meaning to ask you this for
  a long time - almost from the day I met you. Would you... You
  know... Like to... Play some multiplayer games?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322493
text:
  <Quasadu> i'm the kind of guy who, when i accidentally see
  myself naked in the mirror, i think "my god if i saw that in
  the woods i'd shoot it and run back to the car"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322549
text:
  * Snake is now known as Snake|Food
  * Magus steals snakes food
  * Snake|Food is now known as Snake|
  <Magus> lol
  <Magus> score!
  * Snake| is now known as Snake[[Food]]
  <@Snake[[Food]]> it's in a cage
  <@Snake[[Food]]> leave alone
  <Magus> fux


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322596
text:
  @(mhweaver) new philosophy on life:
  @(mhweaver) "I may have to share this planet with animals, but
  I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322644
text:
  * Nazgul thinks it's amusing when people are soooo anal
  retentive that they can't even pass up a single mistyped
  letter.
  <Rico||Sleep>: Anal-retentive is hyphenated...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322733
text:
  (bing0):I'm IRC user, short and stout
  (bing0):Here is my keyboard, i have loud mouth
  (bing0):I like to complain everything i read about
  (bing0):Except because ban, i will never logout.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322782
text:
  * Dark is listening to his roommate play Mike Tyson's
  Punch-Out
  <Durandal> Dark : Isn't there a bonus level where you can rape
  Mike Tyson's wife?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322883
text:
  <JohnWWells> Evening.
  * JohnWWells Quit (Quit: Leaving)
  <Nematocyst> it's not the EVENING
  <Nematocyst> 19:29:09
  <Nematocyst> ...
  <Nematocyst> FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.322988
text:
  <booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call,
  "Creative screwed me like a bitch"
  <booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
  <booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among
  the stars
  <booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
  <booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
  <booradley> :: later ::
  <booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you
  feel?
  <neshura> down in front!
  <booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
  * audience gasps.
  <booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
  <booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
  <booradley> * hard drive has died
  <booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks
  in hell! graaagh!
  <booradley> <modem> aaieee
  <booradley> *modem has died
  <booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
  <Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read
  this season.  Do I smell a Tony award?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323038
text:
  <effAce> man that one stank
  <mgriffin> No manual entry for that
  <mgriffin> No manual entry for one
  <mgriffin> No manual entry for stank


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323086
text:
  <BuffDaddy> http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/8611/
  page2.htm
  <BuffDaddy> clone jesus... clone jesus now
  <SteamedHams> yeah, like we need another jew


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323137
text:
  <McBigMac> WHO STOLE MAH LIGHTER ?!
  <MysteryIslands> _o/
  <MysteryIslands> gotta take smoke now :D
  <McBigMac> Life needs a fukkin Search Function!
  <McBigMac> Search: Find Lighter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323187
text:
  <Hynox> Have you actually ever had sex matthias?
  <matthias> Ask my children :P
  <Hynox> .....
  <Hynox> you have sex with your children?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323235
text:
  <godlys0ldier> How can i know what a $rand number is gonna be
  <Spitfire3292> ...Thats gotta be the fuckin stupidest thing
  i've heard all day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323387
text:
  <DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
  <detmod> no java, duh
  <DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
  <detmod> what the hell is l337?
  <DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR!  YOU
  DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323477
text:
  <Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms,
  hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really
  full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them
  inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and
  all the little men come flowing out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323525
text:
  <jre> WHAT?  They pulled the teeth out POST-MORTEM?
  <jre> What losers
  <jre> The Nazis have just lost so much respect from me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323576
text:
  <defekt> eh, some muslims just burned the swiss flag as a
  danish flag
  <naama-> it's the thought that counts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323685
text:
  <Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
  <gjvc> i wake up early
  <gjvc> check my email
  <Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock
  into a chicken
  <Sinner_> he was mad at his family
  <gjvc> and see this shit
  <Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
  <lazydog> bhahah
  <gjvc> ahahahaha
  <Murex> hahhahaa
  <gjvc> lord


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323732
text:
  <aNuBiS-> Italians got it made
  <aNuBiS-> The luxury of being tan, the convenience of not
  being black


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323792
text:
  <Random> "You're so sweet, and intelligent. What's your name?"
  "Jeremy." "Isn't that male?" "Yes." "AAAAH STAB STAB STAB STAB
  NEVER STOP STABBING I HATE YOU KILL YOU KILL MOMMY KILL KILL."
  <--- Online lesbians are fun.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323846
text:
  <Baloo> Supermarkets should have a newbie lane for the
  self-checkout.
  <Baloo> "If you're a loser who hasn't seen the bag boy scan
  shit at the checkout before, and you've never bought a soda
  from a vending machine in your life, use this line."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.323929
text:
  [Leviath] I have a funny tingle in my nose. At 3:30pm I ate
  some Kettle Chilli chips and went into this coughing/snorting
  fit and coughed a small piece of chilli chip up my nose and
  snorted it out. It burned like HELL and I in turn created a
  scene being the 27 year old crying gayboy with a bag of chips
  in one hand and some printer paper I used to blow my nose on
  in the other :(((


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324020
text:
  <Guest88468> if you ever try to kick me or ban me i will get
  my uncle(irc opp) after you and by the way i have a nuke and a
  mail bomb on the way asshole


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324166
text:
  <Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't
  see your weenee."
  <Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!"
  <Navi> I lost all hope, right there.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324215
text:
  <Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas
  and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food
  <Cyriana> and molests your children


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324305
text:
  <eth0_tulip> once, i stabbed a guy in LA, for not closing both
  eyes at the same time when he blinked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324353
text:
  <Cyride> the other day i was in the mall with my wife and we
  pass by a pictuer of two girls that are in the playboy bunny
  suits and my wife says i bet you wished i look like
  that... what is someone supposed to say to that? is "duh" the
  proper response to that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324441
text:
  GeoffSharron: a spider just hid inside my keyboard
  GeoffSharron: and this sentence probably crushed him
  GeoffSharron: i think he was under the m key
  GeoffSharron: mmmm
  GeoffSharron: m key
  GeoffSharron: m m m m


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324501
text:
  <Karma> brb bathroom...
  <DasAJ> we dont call the toilet a bathroom
  <DasAJ> ever tried bathing in the toilet?
  <SaladInc> there's a bath in the room though
  <DasAJ> not here
  <DasAJ> toilet is next door to the bathroom
  <DasAJ> I dont want some dirty fucker stinking out the
  bathroom when i need to brush my teeth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324587
text:
  <CharCoal69> and I made 2 dollars selling cigarettes to
  children in third world countries. I told them it was food.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324661
text:
  <pdksh> jesus h christ
  <pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other
  computer so i turned it off'
  <pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
  <pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
  <pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub
  was annoying her
  <pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
  <pdksh> ...
  <pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
  <pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
  <dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
  <pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim
  password so she jumps off a bridge.
  <bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
  <pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat
  on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with
  computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i
  should go to computer school like you!'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324725
text:
  <[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings
  (check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded
  wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
  <[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask
  me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and
  bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324809
text:
  <CactusEarl> any of you want to kill my alegbra teacher, he
  hates me
  <CactusEarl> he thinks im going to shoot him
  <CactusEarl> "oh my lord earl why does your quiz paper say im
  gonna kill you mister rose"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324859
text:
  <Rainwulf> my laptop cant play CS
  <Rainwulf> that doesnt worry me though.
  <Rainwulf> cos i cant either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324908
text:
  <CptPlanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out
  there.
  <CptPlanet> and you call yourself an internet.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.324960
text:
  <@PhatBob> try smoking bud with pubic hairs in it, now that
  shit fucks you up
  <@neotek> if you're smoking your pubic hairs, i'm PRETTY SURE
  you're already fucked up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325051
text:
  (jayo) heh, apparently when i was 4 my dad took me to the
  pool, i saw a black guy and said "hey dad.. its michael
  jackson"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325158
text:
  <Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
  <Jon^D> he's my hero
  <Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
  <arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to
  the surface now
  <Jon^D> I wish I was gay


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325204
text:
  Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic
  attack.
  Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
  Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
  Lusty: they don't exist.
  Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
  Ziggy: Right before the invasion.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325259
text:
  <Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
  <Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half
  of a black man if you know what I'm saying
  <Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while
  the bottom half does nothing?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325306
text:
  (@prex) man .jp is fucking tight
  (@prex) suggest you a get with it
  (@antlers_) anyone shit on your face while you were there?
  (@prex) yes, and i'm 500 yen poorer for the experience!
  (@antlers_) tell you this much, my first time in Tokyo I
  fucking loved it... still do... but a visit to some of their
  adultshops just negated all positive thought
  (@Blaxthos) never been to .jp
  (@Blaxthos) i hear shit is expensive the most
  (@prex) yeah well me not being a sexual deviant i didnt visit
  any adult shops
  (@antlers_) <--- sexual deviant
  (@prex) man mother fuck some edema
  (@prex) flight was 9hrs and change tho
  (@prex) fast as fuck
  (@kaleido) did any of your less profitable bitches kill
  themselves because of the dishonor they felt when you arrived?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325406
text:
  <@natclass> I smoke just so I can hang out with hot chicks
  <@natclass> You don't actually have to smoke, just light up a
  butt and hold it
  <@natclass> occasionally take a little puff
  <@d13> i do lines so i can hang out with old hookers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325457
text:
  <bocz> i think ill be stuck to getting 2 sticks of 128
  <bocz> thats 310 mb for a server
  <Guilty> Kudos on finding the elusive 54MB DIMM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325503
text:
  * flathead has joined #zdoom
  <Zack`> a dragon in thick, fluffy white diapers
  <flathead> sounds like I missed one hell of a discussion here


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325552
text:
  <flawed> snow is like black people.. as long as it stays off
  my driveway and away from my car, it's cool.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325648
text:
  <Nike> i swear, my MP3's get scratched
  <Loop> probably nike
  <Nike> like i got a really annoying little brother sim
  wandering around my home directory


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325693
text:
  *** [ric] is now known as reign
  *** reign is now known as [ric]
  <[ric]> heh... mental note... try /whois instead of /nick next
  time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325741
text:
  <gazzy> fucken dammit u know it's a bad sign when you wake up
  and "I R 1337" is written on ur penis :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325883
text:
  [02:21] * ekum is away, sleep [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
  [02:21] * ekum is away, work [log:OFF] [page:OFF]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325936
text:
  <Phreak407> why the fuck is there purple m&ms in this bag?
  <Anti-Social> Because they're tryin to tell you you're gay
  <Phreak407> oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.325987
text:
  <Anarchos> my mom went to old navy and bought me all these
  clothes
  <Rance> and now you have to dress like a dork?
  <Anarchos> yeah :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326034
text:
  <+walken> Vlad, if you were a piece of software
  <+walken> which one would you be?
  <+shiwan> walken: Hmm. ICBM control software, so that I could
  blow millions of men at once?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326080
text:
  <ZackSmurf> ur a gay cs whore rnt u skratch
  <[-FeC-]sKratch> other than the gay and whore part, yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326233
text:
  <barkode> yeah, slap can tell you about how at work he's
  sitting there on the
  web and coding perl, while there's gunplay in the lobby and a
  bomb scare. We're not even kidding.
  <slap> it's all true except the perl.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326283
text:
  <+fury> i envy cary... he's half my age and gets access to all
  the goodies :/
  <@Chen> How old are you?
  <+fury> 18


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326332
text:
  [loucura] yummm... french fries and gravy
  [Crysanna] you need cheese with that
  [loucura] Yeah, but I don't feel like melting any cheese.
  [loucura] That, and all I have is american cheese, I'm afraid
  it'll go to war with my french fries


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326395
text:
  --- Hairball is now known as t3h_h0r5|3
  <Enos_Shenk> teh horse?
  <t3h_h0r5|3> horsie
  <t3h_h0r5|3> lmfao
  <Enos_Shenk> hah
  <Enos_Shenk> no man
  <Enos_Shenk> thats not leet
  <Enos_Shenk> this is leet
  >>> You(Enos_Shenk) are now known as my_l1ttl3_p0ny
  <my_l1ttl3_p0ny> PHEEEEER
  <youm0nt2> you mean ph34r
  <my_l1ttl3_p0ny> oh yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326441
text:
  <ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
  <ChemicalBurn> scarey!
  * ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326487
text:
  <@The_Happy_Chemical> Nigga I know you have, I could name some
  song that was created 10 minutes ago by a hobo bashing his
  face off a dumpster and you'd have heard it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326565
text:
  <Mir> I'm based on a true story
  <eldee> mir: what book? kamasutra for homos? :)
  <Mir> no....
  <Mir> not a book
  <Mir> I'm based on the Story of Dave. The guy that was.
  <eldee> the guy that was _____? (gay?)
  <eldee> bwahahhaa
  <boozie> hahaha
  <Mir> no
  <Mir> the guy that was.   theres no more words, I put the . in
  there.
  <eldee> dang
  <eldee> he's right.
  <eldee> punctuation's a bitch
  <boozie> poop


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326662
text:
  * Azwok (~Mini_Mc88@=Hsmqzsw-30.honey-damsel.dialup.pol.co.uk)
  Quit (Ping Timeout)
  <Elleomea> heh, freeserve have freaky machine names :/
  <Elleomea> "honey-damsel"
  <Elleomea> I can't help feeling that should be a euphamism for
  prostitute or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326815
text:
  <kinijima> why do they keep programming labs so fucking cold?
  <aalti> so the computers don't get over heated?
  <kinijima> so what the fuck did  the people do back when there
  was no air conditioning?
  <aalti> you're a fucking idiot.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326912
text:
  (Axis): oh shit, i set a timer and now i can't turn it off
  (Axis): how the hell do you turn it off
  (@Zaphod): type /timers
  (@Zaphod): you will be told the timer number
  (@Zaphod): like * Timer 2 /do something
  (@Zaphod): then type /timer2 off
  (@Zaphod): notice, no space after timer
  (Axis): okay but it's still beepinng
  (Axis): it says there is no active timers
  (@Zaphod): Ahh, you didnt type / beep <number> did you ?
  (Axis): but IT'S STILL BEEPING! AAAAGH!
  (Axis): yeah, i did
  (Axis): is that bad
  (@Zaphod): what was the number you typed?
  (Axis): 39482034 i think, something like that
  (@Zaphod): lol - it aint stopping till it beeps that many
  times
  (Axis): well shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.326957
text:
  <|Rayden|> Chapter 15 - Making Your Web Sites Accessible to
  Impaired and International Users    <----does this mean drunk
  people?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327018
text:
  <Hawx> wtf is Scotty
  <Shinji> Hawx - ScottyFox, he's in here occasionaly, I used to
  live with him in Canada.
  <Hawx> scottyfox is one letter away from being scattyfox
  <Shinji> Hawx - and you're four letters away from being
  'fuck'.
  <Hawx> :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327067
text:
  <Pookachu> afghanistan threatens to retaliate
  <Pookachu> they're gonna ride their camels into pakistan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327128
text:
  <Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as
  the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989
  discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who
  sodomizes thirsty children."
  <Manboy> hahaha
  <Manboy> OH YEAH
  <Manboy> (sobbing)
  <Thom`Manson> hahahaha
  <Manboy> OH YEAH!!!
  <Thom`Manson> hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327178
text:
  <old goat> leet sucks
  *1agerda1ek clears throat*
  <old goat> sorry
  <old goat> 1337 5vx
  <1agerda1ek> much better


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327284
text:
  * webby_g well chuffed now
  <[smee]> lol
  <[smee]> make me feel it, hurt me!
  <DeuxVisage> guess this was the wrong time to walk in on a
  conversation
  <DeuxVisage> take your bondage elsewhere
  <[smee]> i like her when she plays her dominatrix role
  <webby_g> who?
  <[smee]> you!
  <webby_g> omg
  <webby_g> YOU THINK IM FEMALE?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327329
text:
  (Pyr0s): !tp
  (@N0VA): I'm a little teapot
  (@CHR0N0S): short and stout
  (@N0VA): Here is my handle
  (@CHR0N0S): here is my spout
  (@N0VA): When i get all steamed up
  (@CHR0N0S): then i shout
  (@N0VA): tip me over
  *** N0VA was kicked by CHR0N0S (KICK YOU OUT!! :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327379
text:
  <@Greg> how do i start apps automatically when i log into os
  x?
  <@desnarf> hit it with a hammer
  <@desnarf> but you need a robot arm for it to happen
  automatically


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327440
text:
  <ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan that's a lot of fun --
  instead of making boring ice cubes that you don't think
  anything about, this will enable you to make fun heart-shaped
  ice cubes. Works in any standard freezer, just fill with water
  and freeze.
  <ev-> works in any standard freezer
  <ev-> thank god for that!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327487
text:
  <Yukanojo> Man, dyn.optonline.net just took a massive shit
  <SPOONprez> Yukanojo: too much fiber in the network? :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327539
text:
  <JDAcura> i need to take a crapola
  <JDAcura> brb!!!!!!!!
  <xwred1> i just took one on your mom's chest about an hour ago
  <^9ine> i downloaded the video aobut 30 minutes ago


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327592
text:
  <KK> Anyone here speak Spanish?
  <ste> i do
  <KK> Shut up.  You can't even speak English.
  <ste> thats cuz i spanish


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327651
text:
  <blazemore> one of my friends that i haven't talked to in
  forever said "Hey what's up" through icq last night
  <blazemore> i didn't say anything though cause last time she
  said whats up she just needed a cd burned :|
  <mightyflo> cdrs before hos


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327700
text:
  <@Theseus314> if I invite my girlfriend in here for a short
  time will you guys behave yourself?
  <Vetek> yes
  *** FunG is now known as CaptainGapingAnus
  *** poo_al[Away] is now known as i_want_to_fuck_thess_gf
  *** IgWannA is now known as HotChickNeedSex
  <@CaptainGapingAnus> we will behave


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327750
text:
  <oreth> ever thing to yourself "Hey, it might be fun to go
  fuck a turkey?"
  <AshPlississkin> no
  <oreth> yeah.   me neither.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327800
text:
  <scummo> I was saying "eat a dick" even then, trying to get
  good grades by drawing pictures of shoes
  <scummo> a tradition I keep up even today
  <scummo> the 4.0 on the 15-page paper about the importance of
  midgets and dwarfs in film has to be my crown jewel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327847
text:
  Tamer Brad: i got this cross necklace today
  NoVwith a Bullet: ha ha ha, everyone's gonna think you just
  love jesus
  Tamer Brad: no, i hate him
  Tamer Brad: that's why I carry it with me
  Tamer Brad: so if I ever see him, I can nail him to it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327897
text:
  [Yaksha] At least I'll have my laptop with me at work ;)
  [Heri] WOOOHOOO!
  [Heri] No clitoris, though
  [Yaksha] Clitoris?
  [Heri] yeah you know... the little bump in the middle of the
  keyboard ;)
  [Heri] you kinda have to tickle it to make it work
  [Yaksha] lol
  [Yaksha] I think that'd look kind of weird at work ...
  [Yaksha] The computer starts beeping louder and faster ...
  [Heri] LMAO LMAO LMAO
  [Heri] then shoots a CDROM out of the drive
  [Yaksha] LOL
  [Yaksha] The monitor panel slowly falls into the closed
  position
  [Heri] LMAO!
  [Heri] then it smokes a ciggy?
  [Yaksha] Nahh, it formats a floppy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.327950
text:
  <WetCuntDelirium> Well quit acting like a nazi, and perhaps
  misconceptions won't be developed
  <mike> i must have missed the part where i started hating jews
  <mike> i did not, however, miss the part where i started
  hating "j00"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328006
text:
  <COMRED> A trichinosis larva and a botfly maggot walk into a
  bar. The botfly maggot turns to the trichinosis larva and says
  "hey buddy, I heard you like pork." The trichonosis larva
  looks the the botfly maggot right in the spiracles and says
  "indeed, I encyst upon it."
  <COMRED> Hahah. You get it? It's a homonymn.
  <COMRED> fuck you all.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328055
text:
  ·sh|a|tter· Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at
  the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down
  the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
  submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
  all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
  loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
  sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
  fetish gayporn.
  ·sh|a|tter· man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
  gay... it owns
  c4c|Dthsmrf{wiz3rk}  ROFLMAO!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328108
text:
  <@Witchlord> omg
  <@Witchlord> I just thought of a website that I had to go to
  <@Witchlord> and then for some reason went to hotmail instead,
  when I havent needed to go to hotmail in over 5 years
  <@Witchlord> and my first thought was "holy shit, i drove home
  this drunk"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328248
text:
  <`tate`> you ever see palm's api, my god, its like they said
  "you know what, apple's api is good(ie we're insane), lets
  copy it"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328307
text:
  <Rattlsnak> so my mom is looking to get a f/t job where she
  can work till she's retired
  <Rattlsnak> she's got no formal education but she used to work
  in an office in front of a computer
  <Rattlsnak> also... she's Japanese...
  <Rattlsnak> any ideas?
  <RkdJehova> massage parlor
  <Rattlsnak> fuck you.
  * Rattlsnak has left #allnitecafe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328453
text:
  <LoneVandal> I've heard Korean is the most logical and easy to
  read written language on earth
  <LoneVandal> And that it is way easier to understand than
  speaking it
  <Parn> It's easy to speak Korean
  <Parn> See, watch
  <Parn> CHING CHONG PING PONG
  <LoneVandal> Thats chinese you faggot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328504
text:
  <@dura> I want a game that will actually scare me.
  <@Billy-Away> resident evil
  <@Billy-Away> is ok scary
  <Lil_Dude> the first resident evil when i was like 5
  <@dura> like a mexican farm simulator, that would scare me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328553
text:
  <MrFalcon> Rattus: it's just random chance that i hit the
  keyboard in such a way that my responses make sense


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328600
text:
  <G-R-G> Let me shit into a boot then make you eat the leather
  to get to the turds...then stick a butt plug in your penis and
  ass and have you eat my shit..then when it's time to shit out
  the shit, I wanna see the butt plug fly across the room at 80
  mph


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328654
text:
  <Swenja> If you handed people a box that said "Danger!
  Crotch-eating crickets inside! Do not shake! Do not open!"
  <Swenja> ....ten minutes later, there'd be screaming and
  chirping, and crickets all over the place...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328833
text:
  Greenday2262: I'll bet Gandalf got SOOO high.
  Greenday2262: That fool can blow smoke-ships ffs!
  SunuvaChod: hahaha
  Greenday2262: I mean if Gandalf wanted to blaze with you, you
  would blaze right?
  SunuvaChod: if gandalf wanted to blaze with me
  SunuvaChod: id already be so fucked in the head that blazing
  wouldnt fuckin matter
  SunuvaChod: so yes i would


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328875
text:
  Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie
  elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie
  elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king
  Scouthouse: never seen it
  elcucarachaloco: awesome movie
  Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.328980
text:
  <cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows
  in it.
  <cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in.
  <cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make
  the change."
  <Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!
  <cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table.  if you
  want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes
  sense.  but do you really want a *book*?
  <cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout."
  <confound> hahaha
  <cwilbur> oooookay.
  <Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)
  <confound> "that's not MY policy."
  <cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.
  <pmichaud> what font size?  how many lines per page?
  <Azhrarn> Poor trees
  <Halfjack> They'll only want it once.
  <cwilbur> when someone asks why we've gone through three toner
  cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them
  to the twit.
  <Azhrarn> shrink the font till it fits on one page :)
  <pmichaud> purl, 15000000 / 66
  <purl> 227272.727272727
  <Azhrarn> !
  <pmichaud> purl, 227272 / 5000
  <purl> 45.4544
  <pmichaud> 45 cases of paper :-)
  <pmichaud> at 66 lines per page
  <Azhrarn> and after he makes the changes...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329030
text:
  <Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start life over cause you
  didn't know what to do the first time around and messed it all
  up?
  <Tetsubo> why doesn't real life have a tutorial mode?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329077
text:
  <Yora> *dryly* you arent paying for it and the company doesnt
  make money off you playing, what would you call it?
  <FireIsFun> Grand Theft Data


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329127
text:
  <tHEMiDENS> ok, anyone got their list sent to fbi ?
  <fyre> i have the fbi with me now
  <fyre> we're watching shrek 2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329175
text:
  <nubber> so my choices are a diseased crack whore (IE), a
  ball-busting advertising exec (opera), a 400-pound hairy woman
  (mozilla), and a needy money grubbing model (firefox)...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329234
text:
  <Shloom> OMG
  <Shloom> FUCK
  <Shloom> I just showed this girl my wang on my webcam
  <Shloom> But not only did I hear her giggle
  <Shloom> but 2 other girls and a man
  <Shloom> D:!
  <Shloom> FUCK
  <El_Diablo13> ...
  <El_Diablo13> LOL!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329284
text:
  <UTF-Xanieth> damnit
  <UTF-Xanieth> im gonna have to lube up this space bar
  <UTF-Low_on_Life> :o
  <UTF-Xanieth> EmptyStare, you got some of that astrolube your
  bro uses?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329330
text:
  <shortyz> ugly bitches should wear masks all the time.. or
  rather paper bags
  <`FrEaK> plastic bags... so they cant breath


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329409
text:
  <Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
  <Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe
  that?
  <Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican
  canada.
  <Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
  <Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
  <Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land
  mine.
  <Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
  <Blade> XD
  <Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
  <Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
  <Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last
  15 years.
  <Blade> You have some issues, Dan.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329569
text:
  <JakeStone> *shift change!*
  <geo--> that's a very pretty shift, jake.
  <geo--> don't think I've seen you wear that one before.
  <JakeStone> thank you geo.  I got it at Macy's.
  <geo--> the pearls complement it well.
  <JakeStone> I'm thinking though, that the tiara is a bit much
  though.
  <geo--> well, only because you're wearing it as a codpiece.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329622
text:
  <ed2000nyc> irc is waste of my time
  <ed2000nyc> cya
  ed2000nyc
  «~ed2000nyc@207-237-236-47.c3-0.nyr-ubr1.nyr.ny.cable.rcn.com»
  has Quit iRC (-=SysReset 2.51=-)
  <Yourmove> hmmm usually it takes years to find that out..
  <Yourmove> he's a quick learner


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329687
text:
  <BigMilla2> but no I haven't done anything with my cousin
  <BigMilla2> except for giving her a hug
  <pj325is> and talk to her about sex
  <Cruzn15> was that an arrousing hug?
  <BigMilla2> oh yes!!!
  <BigMilla2> I popped a 12 incher
  <BigMilla2> and then we had sex in the trailer
  <BigMilla2> and my sister got in on it too
  <StealthBuddha> hell yeah
  <Cruzn15> Now entering Alabama.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329729
text:
  mygoth2000: so..how long does it take you to get over a girl?
  : i dunno...depends on how big she is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329775
text:
  <Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little
  Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the
  feeling.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329821
text:
  <Road|\{ill> anybody have that picture of that fat chick
  sitting on a chair with the little dog underneath it?
  <Road|\{ill> i need it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329867
text:
  <thedeathart>Say, If you have a username and a password for a
  FTP server, how do you get the address?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329908
text:
  [@Kamagurka] (akino): if you are no freak, what are you then?
  you already admitted to being a goth, you know...
  [+akino] i know. but i am not a freak.
  [+akino] i am from mars


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.329956
text:
  <torgofan720> I'm still planning on having a love child with
  LaggedyAnne by mailing her a vial of sperm frozen in a bag of
  freezer veggies
  <torgofan720> Gonna name the kid Greenbean


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330070
text:
  <jonathans> i want to raise goats.
  <@Neutral-> <3 goats and their tendency to push backwards when
  on the edge of a cliff
  <synth3tic> So I guess you know why you put a goat on the
  endge of a cliff when you fuck it
  <synth3tic> ....so he pushes back
  <jonathans> 'he'
  <synth3tic> yes.. 'he'
  <@Neutral-> Position cock strategically
  <@Neutral-> And wait for the push.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330125
text:
  * Re-monkey (re-monkey@cdm-208-52-188-lkch.cox-internet.com)
  has joined #geekissues
  <Re-monkey> Wow
  <Re-monkey> It's all the people I've been laughing at.
  <Re-monkey> I love reading QDB.
  <Re-monkey> This is almost like seeing all the great celebs in
  one place.
  <Re-monkey> But, not quite.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330168
text:
  *** da-guvnor (~tonto@pc2-stoc4-0-cust224.mid.cable.ntl.com)
  Quit (If girls are made of sugar & spice......why do they
  taste of fish.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330273
text:
  <@The_Loser_Hyena> Bio was easy as breathing.
  <+[1RB]sika> no way man
  <+[1RB]sika> what are the parts of a chloroplast cell?
  <@The_Loser_Hyena> Physics wasn't bad either.
  <+[1RB]sika> come on tell me
  <+Lee> The math part of physics killed me
  <+Buchwald> oy, science talk.  i'll come back when you guys
  are dumber


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330333
text:
  <niko> whenever I see a korean media company or game company
  it's like
  <niko> "HEY LOOK WE CAN DO ANIME TOO! AND GAMES WOO CHECK US
  OUT!"
  <niko> "see you don't need japan!"
  <niko> "you can use us! and we work cheaper!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330471
text:
  <Dayv> I tell you, nothing works up an appetite like
  committing serious tax fraud.
  <Dayv> wrong window, ignore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330605
text:
  <DavidC> I once got some beer bubblebath for my birthday.  It
  looked and smelled just like beer, complete with a foamy head,
  and made me stink of beer for a week.  No amount of bathing/
  showering/scrubbing would get rid of it.
  <DavidC> But I was a student at the time, so no-one noticed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330650
text:
  RonilWazlib: man that sucked
  RonilWazlib: if your girlfriend tells you she feels fat and
  hugs you for moral support, do not start jiggling her butt in
  an attempt to find the natural frequency of fat
  RonilWazlib: and if she asks, DO NOT tell her what you are
  doing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330724
text:
  <evilroot> "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft
  Promotional Ad
  <evilroot> "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler
  <Madiarin> evilroot: That's horrible.
  <|-Shin-|> Is it a TV ad or a banner or what?
  <Beanoo> erk .. bill 'adolf' gates
  <evilroot> |-Shin-|:  not sure
  <|-Shin-|> aw.
  * |-Shin-| was hoping to get a link out of it
  <evilroot> One World. One Web. One Program.
  <evilroot> Microsoft advertisement, 1997
  <dafatdude> thats M$ in a nutshell
  <|-Shin-|> Heh, looks like you're not the only one to have
  that opinion. I just did a google search on it
  * Madiarin was searching altavista in the futile attempt to
  see if anyone could verify the MS part of the quote.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330786
text:
  <Naivete> I wouldn't be surprised if xrg is down for good.
  <Soul|gone> it has been 24 hours.
  <Soul|gone> that is a pretty good indication that it went bye
  bye
  <Naivete> that would make me rather sad.
  <Naivete> not all that sad, mind you.
  <Naivete> but still pretty sad.
  <Damarr> Just sad enough to make you feel sad
  <Naivete> exactly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330841
text:
  <Khrath> U HAVE A SMALL PENIS HAHAHAHAHA
  <Xion33> sad face
  <Xion33> :(
  <Kaladam> sad face
  <Kaladam> little head
  <Kaladam> the life of you
  <Kaladam> small penis head man


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330890
text:
  <Einstein> What does A.B.C.D.E.F. stand for?
  <Einstein> Time's up!
  <Einstein> The answer is American Boys Club for the Defense of
  Errol Flynn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.330982
text:
  <Me> the nigerian prince scam is old
  <Me> today you do it like this:
  <Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast
  fortune outside the country soon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331034
text:
  <r4v3n> there is just NO good excuse, if caught in my gfs room
  in the middle of the night
  <r4v3n> "hey mr c...was walking by your house and i dropped my
  penis...it fell into your daughter, but i've collected it now
  and will just be...on...my...way"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331086
text:
  <Deja> gay, I can't use my GameSpy ID because it has an
  accented e in it
  <Ear> hahahahhah
  <Ear> That's what you get for being pretentious. :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331133
text:
  <Tylendel> I have kitty pictures.
  <Seeth_There> I have genital crabs.
  <Seeth_There> Advantage: Seeth.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331191
text:
  <@Ne[r]d> my father just walked behind me, and saw one of the
  buttons on the taskbar "AltaVista's Babe..." :O
  <@Ne[r]d> he wanted to see it :p
  <@Lizard> lol
  <@Vader> lol
  <@Vader> Sure, dad, translate away!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331238
text:
  <Sukato> What does it mean when you search google with one
  word and only get one hit?
  <Xenogenesis> You have a very specific fetish?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331301
text:
  <Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell,
  I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
  <Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from
  him"
  <Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the
  catcher


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331394
text:
  tp: Ewwwwwwww! I was jerking off, and my cat kinda jumped on
  my stomach before................yeah....... now I gotta give
  the cat a bath or my parents will think i'm a perv..... :(

  Psycho_James: Dude, you jerked off on your cat, YOU ARE a
  perv...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331436
text:
  [@c-rOCK] no mad
  [@c-rOCK] just because you and I and guilty had dealings
  [@c-rOCK] we were drunk
  [@c-rOCK] and we agreed it was a mistake
  [@madog] Guilty was a good piece of ass.
  [@madog] err.
  [@c-rOCK] i gotta give him that yeah he was


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331583
text:
  <Arkangel> If I caught my mom performing at a strip club I'd
  cheer her on. You know, pay her back for all those times she
  cheered me on at little league baseball games.
  <Arkangel> It's just good karma, ya know?
  * [TMBJ]SensoryOverlord makes no little league comments about
  getting a good grip on your lumber.
  <[TMBJ]SensoryOverlord> 'cause that'd be wrong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331631
text:
  <%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron
  <Keef> quick, dirty and cheap?
  <%crazy_clown> and i fap over it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331677
text:
  <RockWolf> one time my friend tried to kill himself by taking
  30 advil.
  <RockWolf> i was like dude...why take 30 advil when you can
  take 3 aleve? =D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331779
text:
  <Packet> Reminds me of the time I was naked and tried to break
  into that grade school...
  <Packet> What were we talking about?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331832
text:
  *|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine
  Bitches 101"
  <moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats
  through its tongue.
  <moes_19> dipshit
  <Puedlfor> Ouch.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331917
text:
  <Samus> With some minor manipulation, I can make my
  uncircumcised penis look like Birdo from Super Mario 2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.331973
text:
  (CamelToe) did I ever tell you I have a CAT-5 outlet in my
  downstairs bathroom, so I can chat while I poo
  (Q`) A friend of mine has a "pleestation"
  (Q`) "plee" meaning bathroom
  (Q`) It's a pc with fast internet connection, games etc...
  right in front of the toilet
  (Q`) :-P
  (CamelToe) so I guess if you're playing a game such as
  Undying, you can really scare the shit out of yourself
  (Q`) Hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332023
text:
  <Kadon`> Can a dead girl have an orgasm?
  <TheMoxy> God.. lol
  <Anonymous> How long has she been dead?
  <Kadon`> Uh, let me check.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332082
text:
  <Corranfox> GF?
  <metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
  <Corranfox> guitar freaks
  <blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS
  #bemani after all


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332136
text:
  <@ant> With something that my hand spends more time on than my
  dick, I see no reason not to splurge on a mouse.
  <@Scribble> Yeah, but I'd question whether my hand spends more
  time on my dick or not.
  <@shrav> for me its a matter of which hand
  <@shrav> i usually have one on each


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332187
text:
  (Deranged): Having my right hand as a girlfriend is the best
  relationship I've ever had.
  (Deranged): It's always up for threesomes, it'll never cheat
  on me.
  (Deranged): And best of all, I don't have to talk to it after
  sex, because I don't know sign language.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332241
text:
  <sc1> the video was compressed at 5fps
  <sc1> jesus this sucks
  <asmodius> Jesus can't help with sucky frame rates. Trust me
  on that one.
  <asmodius> He's pretty useless when it comes to video
  compression rates.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332285
text:
  <DoctorRiff> captain planet didnt teach me to save the earth,
  it taught me to stab hippies for giving me crap cartoons


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332333
text:
  *** CiXeL (...@pool694-cvx.ds68-ca-us.dialup.earthlink.net)
  has joined #crack
  <CiXeL> Kill the motherfucking curseword kick you pansyass
  girls use.Censorship blows & I dont want irc turning into a
  g4y ass aol or purple moon game. I hate to wake you up but
  this *ISNT* aol & never will be. You will never be allowed to
  sanitize & pollitically correctize the net. So sure, kick me,
  ban me, whatever but Im not going away unless you can ban
  every single combination of ident, ip in my pool or the whole
  domain earthlink.net.If I


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332472
text:
  <Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I
  turned off the blacklight downstairs
  <Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the
  negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our
  lifeforce


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332583
text:
  <Sam_> hrmm help me come up with a new email address
  <Sam_> i cant think of a clever name
  <P|CK|E> Screwdriver Deluxe
  <Sam_> im think TommySalami
  <Sam_> or im gonna try to get Sam_
  <P|CK|E> yeah
  <P|CK|E> Sam_
  <Sam_> i wish that was my name
  <Sam_> my real name
  <Sam_> actually i'd rather have it be @Sam_
  <Sam_> so i have ops.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332679
text:
  lemonlimeskull: I keep getting spam e-mail from a company
  trying to convince me I owe them for search engine listing
  services. They send an actual invoice for me to print and fax
  to them.
  lemonlimeskull: It's their own fault, really, that I faxed
  them a photo-to-ASCII image of a hand giving the middle
  finger.
  killjay: lol bet they were PISSED
  lemonlimeskull: They will be if they lay out all 54 pages in
  the correct sequence.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332797
text:
  <Sys> I hate maths.  What do you reckon they'll do if I fail
  it?
  <0ut_Lore> you repeat it.  fail it AGAIN, and you face the
  exclusion board.  guess what they do?  ;P
  <Sys> Exclude you from having to do it a third time? :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332858
text:
  <ragnarok2040> @_@, i have a mouse scratching directly above
  my head
  <Uzzab0x> trailer mice O_o
  * _absent 0_o CKY - Shock and Terror [3:07]
  <ragnarok2040> :/ and i can't beat on the ceiling cuz it
  messes up the ceiling fan
  <ragnarok2040> so i have to ignore it
  <Uzzab0x> I pity j00 rag :D
  <_absent> haha your trailer is infested with canadians
  <_absent> *mice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332913
text:
  <Dragon-Beast> Not being a genius doesn't mean I would be a
  dumbass.
  <Frozen-Solid> in your case it does
  <Dragon-Beast> My case?
  <Dragon-Beast> Why would it be my case?
  <Frozen-Solid> because you are a dumbass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.332959
text:
  <jewboy613> flooding chan
  <jewboy613> man this flood is so bad if u stick around, noah
  will come rolling in with his arc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333054
text:
  <Zyrjello> Cancer patients are incapable of being nasty.
  <Zyrjello> It's a law of life.
  <MrPicso> I hope I get cancer so I can prove you wrong.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333152
text:
  <UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
  <Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot
  under that suit
  <UltimateMetroid> fag
  <Daishi> dumbass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333287
text:
  <rhyno> okay
  <rhyno> I must be losing my mind
  <rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station
  <rhyno> because I can't find my car keys
  <rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago
  <DaemonX> pj station?
  <rhyno> yeah
  <rhyno> gas station
  <rhyno> but the thing was
  <rhyno> I was going there to get gas
  <DaemonX> without your car?
  <rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys
  <rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk"
  <rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I
  going here for.."
  <rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!"
  <rhyno> then walked back
  <DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333334
text:
  <WhiteLife> i just looked at the ingredients to herbal ecstasy
  <WhiteLife> ITS THE SAME THING AS MY SECRET FORMULA :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333383
text:
  <nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a
  graphic calculator yesterday in math class


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333436
text:
  <TripleRach> Hmm classical music isn't good for it at all
  <MiraiMatt> No classical does not blast
  <TripleRach> I can't like open my windows and yell at my
  neighbors "HOW BOUT SOME BEETHOVEN MOTHERFUCKERS"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333486
text:
  <ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
  <Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
  <Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333539
text:
  <Chubbzilla|UC> AVATARS
  <Chubbzilla|UC> OMG NO
  <Chubbzilla|UC> THEY WILL USE UP MY UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH
  <Boko> ok
  <Boko> i'll turn them off then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333592
text:
  <zurt> When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie
  that's amor'e......... When you're hit by a jug in a South
  Auckland pub....... that's a mao'ri


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333645
text:
  <timmo> capn slackass: hello kettle, i am pot.
  <timmo> capn slackass: you are black.
  <timmo> xxx: ?
  <timmo> people are stupid these days
  <c-rOCK> shes a nigger?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333695
text:
  <Agent_M> hey, i bet $10 that r0f is masturbating right now
  <Spud-Alt> what odds?
  <Agent_M> 1-10000


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333850
text:
  <Tall Israeli> I think just about anyone who meets me and
  talks to me for long enough comes to terms with the fact that
  I am a very sick, twisted person. Also factor in a few
  mountain dews, a Peer-to-Peer connection, and boredom and you
  get what might be the funniest combination imaginable.
  I had been downloading music yesterday evening. Led Zeppelin,
  REO Speedwagon, Flock of Seagulls, things like that. Then I
  realized that it'd be a funny joke to play on people if I were
  to change "Keep on Rolling" to "Hot Lesbian Sex". I watched as
  within minutes this file got 50 downloads. I was astounded.
  Then the Tom got an idea.
  An awful idea.
  The Tom got a wonderful awful idea.
  What if, perhaps, I was to change some of these names to sick
  pornography titles? I wonder if I'd get any bites?
  And this is where the fun begins.
  The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating
  cake." I sat in anticipation, waiting for my first download.
  Success, the first download came. Then the second. Then the
  third. This baby was steamrolling down the information super
  highway like a trucker with a hardon that has 2 miles left to
  the next truck stop. Before I knew it, I was getting twenty
  downloads. Then thirty. Then fifty. Can you imagine that in
  the end, rather than getting dancing boys naked and indulging
  themselves with sweets and frolicking in a dewy meadow,
  one-hundred thirty two people got a disappointing video of Led
  Zeppelin performing "Dazed and Confused" in front of a live
  audience? At this point, I had no choice but to continue.
  The second title I put up was "My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the
  lawn naked." I thought that this was too far out to get any
  downloads. Alas, I was wrong. It got a download. Then two.
  Then thirty. In the end, seventy-eight sweaty, drooling fudges
  wanted to see my ex girlfriend mow the lawn stark naked. She's
  not even that hot. Rather then get their lawn-mowing beauty,
  they got the song "Ozone baby."
  For the third title, I decided to transform "White Wedding"
  into the more intriguing "Elephant cock horse." I wish I could
  say I was kidding when this thing was downloaded one hundred
  eighty seven times. I guess there is something about horses
  and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in
  people. I nearly died of laughter at this point. "How can
  nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're
  ALWAYS naked!" For sanctity's sake, we're going to leave this
  as a mystery. I hope I turned some people on to Billy Idol,
  hopefully distracting them long enough to forget that
  masturbating to horse and elephant genitalia are not really
  something their mothers would be proud of.
  I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo
  Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from
  amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a
  common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse
  many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the
  human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO
  PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo
  table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year
  old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double
  check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had
  shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.
  They asked for Grandma.
  They got Joan Jett.
  At this point I had to start taking puffs of my albuteral
  inhaler to keep from suffocating myself with laughter. "Girl
  on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" was my next proud creation.
  Everyone likes 38 Special, so everyone won't feel like such
  dumb-asses after downloading this footy piece of crap. Never
  underestimate the inertia traveling behind a toe inserting
  itself into a rectum, friends. It's like a fudging semi
  hurling down Interstate 40 in the noonday sun. One hundred
  twelve people wanted to jerk to this. God have mercy on us.
  At this point, for some odd reason, the user name "Enraged
  Baboon" popped into my head. "Enraged Baboon fudging a nipple
  factory." No way in hell would this get many downloads. Who
  could possibly type in any or all of those keywords? I guess
  people like seeing sweaty red-ass baboons, nostrils flaring,
  banging their chests like Marky Mark in the movie "Fear",
  having sex WITH each other in a factory that produces
  baby-bottle nipples. Imagine what those children would look
  like. One hundred seventy two people typed those magic words
  into Limewire, and got a hot steaming pile of monkey love.
  Well, it was Pink Floyd, but a man can dream, cant he?
  This could all seem very disturbing. My final experiment,
  however, made me dizzy as my precious sack retreated into my
  pelvis. ...THREE PEOPLE...three disgusting, drooling,
  perverted, fudged up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and
  a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and
  bushy tailed, wanted to see "An emu taking a vicious dump."
  How does one take a VICIOUS dump and how does an EMU take one,
  for that matter?
  Ladies and gentlemen: this is why I have lost every last ounce
  of faith in humanity.
  If I may quote Method:
  "You're going to make a lot of sick people very unhappy."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333894
text:
  Mahnamahnah: mssql is to the linux tech what a butt plug is to
  the straight guy.......pointless, a laugh or downright
  offensive and in a nightmare situation a pain in the ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.333951
text:
  <AlmtyBob> I think they should make 'Powerpuff Girls: 2012', a
  live action movie, where the powerpuff girls are played by mad
  hot chicks
  <AlmtyBob> teenage chicks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334002
text:
  <Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all
  related.
  <Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian
  expression...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334098
text:
  <ascii_phil> And if you ever need something to scare children
  with[0], I'll
  describe the tenant cycle implementation.
  <ascii_phil> [0] Well, database-knowledgable geek children.
  * daveious is scared enough by the implementation of
  footnotes in IRC,
  thankyouverymuch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334150
text:
  <Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP
  ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
  <Slant> ANYTHING
  <Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334200
text:
  <nondesc> All I need's a basic optical mouse.
  <nondesc> This Logitech is like $12 street price.
  <Livewireo> Strret price? are you buying illegal mice from
  ugly mexicans on the street corner?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334343
text:
  <Juz[code]> i think i will call
  <Juz[code]> the 5th level in my puzzle game
  <Juz[code]> "i'm bored of making levels now"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334407
text:
  <Catmando> I've never had an IDE cable with a hole like that
  <Catmando> I've had floppy cables, but never IDE
  <dealer_> youve never had sex with a girl, but that's not
  saying it doesnt exist
  <narayan`> ouch
  <ran_dogg|> i can't top that
  <Catmando> well, I do have more experience with IDE cables
  than with women


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334499
text:
  <quisling> bwahaha, I was looking through some personals and
  this chick's username is "responsible" but she's 20 with a
  child...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334543
text:
  [Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into
  heaven
  [Maverick] and you died
  [Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
  [Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
  [BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334605
text:
  <@kikazz> anyone want a copy of Windows 3.1 in Russian?
  <@Nfs> may i ask why you have it?
  <@kikazz> because its 8 megs, and it looked better than the
  polish version
  <@kikazz> my options were arabic, catalan, czech, danish,
  finnish, greek, hebrew, hungarian, japanese, korean,
  norweigan, persian, polish, russian, simplified chinese,
  traditional chinese
  <@kikazz> .. no english in there :P
  <@Nfs> hebrew!
  <@kikazz> "shalom, new user"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334700
text:
  <flook> bugger, I accidentally printed a page of all black and
  now I have no ink left :-/
  <Steve_Cajun> flook> practising your goth poetry then? :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334748
text:
  <+IronKite> When will I learn to stop frying bacon in the
  nude?
  <@jaymeekae> shortly after an embarrassing trip to the ER?
  <+IronKite> good point.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334846
text:
  <Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin
  at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab
  down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
  submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
  all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
  loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
  sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
  fetish gay
  <Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
  gay... it owns


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334896
text:
  <The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4
  <[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons
  desease


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.334950
text:
  <VolteFace> heh, this SNL is like a mirror
  <VolteFace> they're making MJ child molestation jokes and how
  the president can't read
  <VolteFace> and it's from 1993


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335565
text:
  <b1rdn> WTF are you talking about, courtney love is like the
  girl next door
  <LegenD> yea if you live next to a methadone clinic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335628
text:
  <ducks> HOLY SHIT
  <ducks> THAT WAS A MILKSHAKE?!?!?!?!
  <ducks> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  <ducks> og my god. that was disgusting.
  <ducks> I had this cup on my desk
  <ducks> for a few months
  <ducks> thinking there was soda in it
  <ducks> IT WAS A MILKSHAKE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335686
text:
  <FlipTopBx> damnit, last night i fell asleep with my space
  heater on.
  <FlipTopBx> i had three boxes of Cracker Jack, each with the
  contents fused together into a sort of super-popcorn.
  <nitrifik_> neat
  <nitrifik_> eat them
  <FlipTopBx> heh.  that would be the obvious thing to do.  i'm
  not in the process of trying to "thaw" them out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335780
text:
  (lupin) Animal Crossing bothers me.  They give you an axe,
  they give you a
  +shovel.  They give you a vast expanse of tree-covered land.
  But they don't
  +let you kill and bury people.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335836
text:
  <Zero_Flaw> Wow, I just saw my dad surfing the net looking at
  health sites about STD's. No wonder he was trying to shield
  the computer screen from me. But, I could still see Herpes at
  the top left.
  <Zero_Flaw> Even worse, 5 minutes later my mom gets on the
  computer and looks at the same thing.
  <Zero_Flaw> I should have been a bastard and said, "Mom, you
  don't look like you're feeling too well, something wrong?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335890
text:
  RubbarDuckling: my middle eastern boss pulled me aside from
  work today
  RubbarDuckling: and was like
  RubbarDuckling: "there are some things that are concerning me
  with your work, you didnt fill the lids or the napkins...you
  left the steam tables on overnight and the place could have
  burned down..but most importantly...you didnt wear your
  uniform"
  RubbarDuckling: im like "wait  wearing a uniform is more
  important than setting a building aflame....how?"
  RubbarDuckling: and hes like
  RubbarDuckling: "oh and yea...you need to stop being so
  sarcastic."
  RubbarDuckling: "and with your work you need to work
  better...you know..pull your socks up!"
  RubbarDuckling: and im like "what the...what??  pull my socks
  up uhhh..."
  RubbarDuckling: what the fuck is pull my socks up mean
  RubbarDuckling: i liked how arson is 2nd on his list though


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.335992
text:
  <enjoi> why would you name condoms after a horse that hides
  all the invaders inside and then lets them go once theyre
  inside?
  <ShodoPan-> i bet it's named after the viruses
  <ShodoPan-> you know, they slip right in and the recipient
  doesn't even realize it
  <ShodoPan-> oh shit that's not good either


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336045
text:
  <moocow39>do you like to masterbate?
  <beaverchild110>why are you asking questions like that?
  <moocow39>do you really want to know?
  <beaverchild110>yes tell me!
  <moocow39>because i am a single horny 48 year old man thats
  why!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336191
text:
  <tfr> i got tired of cyber sex before instant messengers were
  invented
  <JeremyC> hahaha
  <JeremyC> got worn out on 4800bps BBSes did ya
  <tfr> yeah, +++NO CARRIER just before an orgasm is frustrating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336243
text:
  <Buckweed> Tell me who do you think would be smarter, a
  surgeon or a programmer?
  <UltraNewt> surgeon of course
  <glix> programmer
  <glix> unless he's a programmer for microsoft, then...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336293
text:
  HolyViper7: im confused as to how i'm still allowed to breathe
  the same oxygen as other human beings.  i just bought some tic
  tacs, and most of em are gone... and you know how some tic
  tacs get like, stuck?  well, see, i didnt wanna make too much
  noise so i put the tic tac container in my lap and i hit the
  container.  it was then i realized i had testicles.  it was
  quite painful


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336344
text:
  Myung LeshBurton: in drivers ed yesterday, the teacher said
  something about how he used to always look up to superman
  Myung LeshBurton: and how he wished everybody was
  indestructable like he was
  Myung LeshBurton: so i just had to yell out "But it didnt take
  kryptonite to kill Superman, just a horse!"
  Myung LeshBurton: the entire class fell silent, 3 people
  holding back laughter and everybody else horrified at what i
  said
  RACaira326: hahahahahahahahahaha
  RACaira326: you are a TERRIBLE person
  RACaira326: you should be proud
  Myung LeshBurton: wait, i made it worse
  RACaira326: I cant believe you can make that worse
  Myung LeshBurton: i said "Unless somebody hid kryptonite in
  the horses ass"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336395
text:
  *** hypr changes topic to '.'
  <LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of
  month.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336454
text:
  <Hydric> packing sucks
  <Hydric> i 'could' have it done in a day...but i'm not that
  motivated
  <Hydric> hehe
  <zoidberg> you gotta take drastic measures
  <zoidberg> pack your computer, then you'll have nothing to do
  but finish packing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336506
text:
  <godgrrl43> killing babies before they're born is murder!
  <azlo335> I think abortions should be allowed up until two
  years after the baby is born
  <greggk> the splatter pattern on the wall is more satisfying
  after they're out anyway
  ** godgrrl143 has left the room


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336654
text:
  <iMike> i remember in 8th grade health class we had some guy
  from a std clinic come in
  <iMike> and he was talking about porn mags
  <iMike> and some kid was like 'what about playboy?'
  <iMike> and the guy was like 'well some consider that to be
  more of a softcore magazine'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336854
text:
  <moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call
  a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!
  Class::function()) { cout << "error\n"; exit(-1);  }
  <moe_> but it is not working
  <moe_> it prints error


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336909
text:
  <TFA|PL4YER> woot looking forward to getting my new hd tonight
  <TFA|MikeRotch> hehe
  <TFA|PL4YER> now i dont have to be "choosy" with what porns i
  keep
  <TFA|MikeRotch> now THAT's how you know you have a sad life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.336954
text:
  (skootlez): WrxionWRK.....
  (skootlez): wanna fuck?
  * WrxionWRK takes a deep breath
  (WrxionWRK): I'm sorry im going to have to decline your offer
  for sexual intercourse at this time, due to unforseen
  circumstances.
  (WrxionWRK): however, i do wish you the very best in your
  ventures.
  (WrxionWRK): this was an automated message. Please do not
  reply.
  * WrxionWRK breathes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337013
text:
  FireSlash: Fastest apartment tour EVER.
  FireSlash: I'm checking out this rather nicely priced place.
  Manager (or one of his lackys, not shure) walk me into the
  apartment
  FireSlash: First thing he "points out" is how quiet the rooms
  are, because of the thick walls
  FireSlash: So I shout "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!"
  FireSlash: I got one "Yeah!" and one "SHUT THE HELL UP I'M
  WATCHIN' JUDGE JUDY"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337062
text:
  <olik> Jesus was the best pirate of them all.
  <olik> He walked the seven seas!
  <deathfish> and got nailed to the plank instead of walking it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337112
text:
  <fizzie> like there was this one day I took three grams of
  sugar and few litres of coke and some assorted lego mindstorm
  bits and made sense out of them
  <DiamonDie> fizzie: i read "and i snorted lego mindstorm bits"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337157
text:
  <EFX> take a banana .. cut off the top .. squeeze the banana
  out gently keeping the peel intact.. get a empty toilet paper
  roll .. put the peel inside of it .. warm it up in the
  microwave .. and then stick your cock in it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337210
text:
  <qwerty> that girl told me its a sin to wank
  <qwerty> and i deleted like 200 megs of pr0n :(
  <xor|shabl> !@$N$:@NK$!K!@N
  <Wanderer> muahahaha
  <Kristoph> tell her you want to sin all over her face :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337262
text:
  <@Mike> LOL. I thought my chair was squeaking
  <@Mike> it was a damned bird outside
  <@Kimaroo> lol
  <%Blacksheep> oil the bird


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337312
text:
  <Karate|Superbowl> i hate on football they always assume u
  know all the colors and which team name and team city they go
  with :|
  <Karate|Superbowl> cuz for scores tehy just show like a pic
  and the number
  <@Azhrarn> I hate on football how they always have like 10-15
  minutes of crap in between all the good commercials


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337373
text:
  <@GameBot> 186. Why is the sky blue?
  <Anima-> prism
  <@GameBot> Here's a hint: The colour wavel***** ** **** **
  ******* **** *** ***** *******
  <Anima-> :(
  <Anima-> haha
  <infinitySPZ> ..........
  <Serimestari> yyyyyeah.......
  <infinitySPZ> This is why some questions shouldn't get into
  trivia


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337456
text:
  <Trahen0ts> nobody loves me
  <Trahen0ts> that's it
  <Usiel> grow boobs. i'll love you
  <Trahen0ts> *turn up polka*
  <Trahen0ts> how do you know I don't have boobs?
  <Usiel> your picture
  <Trahen0ts> that could be somebody else
  <Usiel> looks like you
  <Trahen0ts> how do you know?
  <Usiel> i saw you
  <Trahen0ts> when?
  <Usiel> couple years ago
  <Trahen0ts> ..
  <Trahen0ts> that coulda been somebody else.
  <Usiel> kind of an elaborate hoax just to fool me
  <Trahen0ts> well, I'm an elaborate guy
  <Trahen0ts> I have boobs, trust me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337516
text:
  <[GSF]Nitro> if that hot assistant had done a tumor check on
  my nads, it would have been an embarrassing experience for
  both of us
  <Quizical> heh
  <PunMeister> lol
  <The_Spaniard> excuse me sir can you do something about that
  erection
  <[GSF]Nitro> unless she found a tumor.. that would kill the
  mood pretty fast I bet
  <[GSF]Nitro> 8=============D
  <[GSF]Nitro> you have cancer
  <[GSF]Nitro> 8D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337566
text:
  <cyxxwirc> Soui's ass is able to compile C
  <cyxxwirc> that is pretty godly
  <rogueWRC> not when he core dumps


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337608
text:
  absorb: seamus
  absorb: why
  absorb: dont
  absorb: you
  absorb: kiss
  absorb: my big
  absorb: DICK
  absorb: you bitchass pussylift
  Seamus: absorb: because your dick is about as long as your
  average message length


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337747
text:
  <aggiN> kurupt.. u have a very limited taste in music
  <Santana> kurupted has limited pube growth too!
  <Santana> its like a nyc rain forest


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337846
text:
  <GetLinux> I wrote a mem eater and i'm running it, starting
  winME's system monitor now
  <The-Bus> GetLinux: You wrote MS Office??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337899
text:
  <blotch> heres a cool office trick
  <blotch> unscrew the speaker part of your coworkers phone and
  throw in a roll of quarters and seal it back up
  <blotch> then after about 2 months of them being used to the
  weight remove the coins when they're away
  <blotch> and watch them lift the phone the next time someone
  calls and bash themselves in the face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.337957
text:
  <@Oedipus> Hoe chit.
  <@Oedipus> Another winning porno idea.
  <@Oedipus> "The Crying Game"
  <@Oedipus> We get some poor dude to come and do it with some
  chick.
  <@Oedipus> When everything is getting all sexy and intimate
  they get naked.
  <@Oedipus> BAM!
  <@Oedipus> Shemale willy!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338005
text:
  <trigga>ow
  <trigga>i just stapled the roof of my mouth
  <trigga>i was holding the stapler in my mouth and it started
  slipping so i bit down


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338103
text:
  <Nugget> hint: if you're going to mispel a word, choose a word
  that isn't "illeterate"
  <Nugget> your dumb.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338164
text:
  <tak> if i move to canada ill be so rich
  <tak> cause your money sucks
  <disco-stu> yep
  <disco-stu> but at least our country doesnt!
  <tak> haha
  <Ped> haha
  <vivid> haha
  <aj> haha
  <blakangel> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338209
text:
  (08:57:00 PM) Nick: If I had could anyone as a Street Fighter
  character, it'd be Stephen Hawking.
  (08:57:31 PM) Nick: You know his special move would be...his
  wheelchar would fly up in the air and then slam down into the
  other guy like a meteor or something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338303
text:
  <elfpower> I wonder why they don't make kumquat juice?  i
  mean, kumquats are pretty good.
  <apollo> probably because it sounds like a mixture of semen
  and vaginal juice.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338419
text:
  <randymarsh9> what's the proper way to administer a remote
  linux server?
  <aeyxa> ssh
  <phogg> randymarsh9: Hire me to use ssh.
  <randymarsh9> phogg: do you take bitcoin
  <phogg> randymarsh9: no, I take payment only in Linux support.
  That YOU provide, later.
  <phogg> to other people
  <randymarsh9> what is ssh file transfer protocol claled
  <aeyxa> sftp
  <SporkWitch> scp
  <phogg> sftp > scp, but sure you can use scp too
  <randymarsh9> ok i want to use scp but whenever i try to edit/
  move file i get access denied
  <randymarsh9> only root has access to modify those files
  <SporkWitch> you've answered your own question then
  <randymarsh9> i can't login as root though
  <randymarsh9> there's gotta be a simple way to do this without
  changing folder permissions everytime
  <randymarsh9> i know how from ssh but want to do the same from
  scp
  <aeyxa> There is, you log in as root
  <randymarsh9> no, i turned that shit off because some stupid
  security blog told me it's the right thing to do
  <randymarsh9> you are basically telling me the hard way to do
  it
  <randymarsh9> i already know how to do it the hard way i was
  looking for something easier through scp
  <randymarsh9> telling me to login as root is hardly an answer
  <aeyxa> randymarsh9: Log in as your user, then sudo up to root
  <randymarsh9> aeyxa: how do you sudo up in scp
  <aeyxa> randymarsh9: What files are you moving, where are you
  moving them from, what have you tried.
  <randymarsh9> aeyxa: want to edit files in /etc/
  <aeyxa> randymarsh9: Do you have permission to use the root
  account?
  <randymarsh9> yes, but the login through scp with root is
  turned off
  <aeyxa> randymarsh9: If you only want to edit files, I don't
  know why you're asking about scp and sftp.
  <randymarsh9> aeyxa: because if i do it through scp i'm able
  to use the gui


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338466
text:
  * Alpaca is listening to : Celine Dion - Where Does My Heart
  Beat Now.mp3
  <Alpaca> NOOOOOOOOOO
  <Alpaca> STUPID SCRIPT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338517
text:
  <notklister> what kind of people make computer programs?
  <klister> programmers
  <notklister> alright
  <notklister> I think thats what Im going to tech school for


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338564
text:
  Wryol: Ouch
  Blood4Shame: What?
  Wryol: Nothing
  Blood4Shame: What is wrong hun?
  Wryol: ......brb
  Blood4Shame: Ok?
  Wryol: Accidentally cumming on cuts burns and stings more than
  Peroxcide.
  Blood4Shame: Aww...  Well it's calcium, so good for the bones,
  right?
  Wryol: ...Remind me never to mention things like that to you
  again.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338616
text:
  <@BhodiZzZz> cevik: help, my code won't compile and I don't
  know what's wrong!
  BhodiZzZz (bhodi@dda9aaf9.net.hmsk) is now known as Bhodi
  <cevik> well.. part of your problem appears to be that you
  were asleep when you wrote it.. ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910898
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338657
text:
  [ TsUnAMiBomB ] what was i going to say
  [ TsUnAMiBomB ] oh yeah
  [ TsUnAMiBomB ] im the best at blowing
  [ TsUnAMiBomB ] shit
  [ TsUnAMiBomB ] blowing bubbles***
  [ jamao ] lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910899
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338796
text:
  <IceWizard> What the HELL is up with these candy companies?
  Little teeny bars are called 'Fun Size'.. Damn, Whats so fun
  about a smaller candybar?!?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338843
text:
  [+Hobbes] I was driving by a church on the way home and on the
  message board out front it said "Under new management"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338887
text:
  <Midnight_Puppy> It does not matter if you are heavily
  outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies
  will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around
  in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
  predecessors


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.338976
text:
  <Goten> hello i have this problem i had this floppy disc and i
  had my modules on it but when i put it down and put a magnet
  on it, the disc was corrupt? what could have happened


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339083
text:
  Mattbot80: The creepiest thing happened at work the other day
  i went to the bathroom and there was a female janitor cleaning
  it and i was like shit i'll have to come back later she sees
  me and says something in spanish i have no idea what she said
  but she had like an evil witch cackel a hispanic guy had
  walked in behind me and told me she had invited me to go ahead
  it creeped me out
  DaShizza: You seriously should have just whipped it out, did
  you really have anything to lose?
  Mattbot80: Well i went the urinal and whipped it out thinking
  that's creepy but she wouldn't be able to see anything but my
  back but then she starts mopping around my feet and then she
  put the mop between my legs and hit my foot and i was like
  fuck this i'm gone i'll piss myself if i need to.
  Mattbot80: It was the most akward momownt i've ever had in a
  bathroom
  DaShizza: hahahha
  i just showed my co-worker
  hahah, thats hysterical
  Mattbot80: Glad you enjoyed it this may very well cause deep
  emotional scarring and a phobia of public bathrooms or female
  janitors


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339132
text:
  <Razzar> Gamer dead after 86 hours of straight gaming
  <Razzar> lol
  <Smax> darwin awards candidate
  <Razzar>  Hope he got some good frags


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339178
text:
  <Fabrice> GNAW ON NO WANG.
  <Fabrice> This message brought to you by the Society of
  Lesbians for Palindrome Advancement


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339228
text:
  <datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
  <datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
  <datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn
  machine was gonna do soemthing
  <datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339293
text:
  <Twin`> magneto-optic media a laser heats up one side of the
  disc
  <Twin`> which induces a magnetic quality on the other side
  <Twin`> the magnetic head then write to the surface while it's
  heated
  <Twin`> as for playback, the laser bounces light off it's
  side, and thanks to the kerr effect, reads the information off
  that way
  <Fearless> Really.
  <Fearless> I just put the disc in
  <Fearless> and hit play
  <Fearless> that also works


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339390
text:
  <naga> so how long can nicknames be?
  <parnbl00d> pretty long
  * naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
  <nagaiseatingpie> cool
  * naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
  <nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
  <nagalikeslongdicks> shit
  <parnbl00d> ahahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339538
text:
  <+Normandy> How poor is this.
  <+Normandy> that exercise bike I've been lookin forward to
  start building my leg muscles for the summer finally arrived
  today
  <+Normandy> yet I'm carryin it upstairs and twat it against my
  knee, and now my uncle who is a doctor says i cant exert any
  pressure on it for 2 bloody months


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339589
text:
  <Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
  <Thunder> wait
  <Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
  Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel
  !)
  <Cobra> ...
  <Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339643
text:
  <Sandman> You know something? Burning hair reeks.
  <Zibblsnrt> I think that's nature's way of telling you, "Don't
  set your hair on fire, dipshit!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339728
text:
  (mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
  (mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO
  THE MUSIc
  (mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad
  OF JuST the LIGHt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339782
text:
  <N41LGuN> You're a gay dumbass.
  <SaxxonPike> yeah
  <SaxxonPike> RIGHT
  <SaxxonPike> NO I mean YEAH RIGHT
  <N41LGuN> uh huh.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339848
text:
  <Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest
  he says "He got hard?"
  <kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
  <kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
  <Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to
  water or feed.
  <kill> you just have to cloth it
  <DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you
  don't let it out of its room.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339894
text:
  <SC__AT> 3. What united states president was in office during
  the civil war?
  <SC__AT> Times up! The answer was: forty three


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339945
text:
  <jcm> would having a woman as the main character change
  anything?
  <jcm> it would still be GTA
  <gwizz> yeah
  <gwizz> grand theft alimony


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.339994
text:
  <@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and
  reality anymore
  <@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not
  respawning


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340038
text:
  <DMC[hi]> where just before you go to bed, you put on a suite
  and shit, and look in the mirror and kinda jerk off a little
  then, go to sleep?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340132
text:
  SeanM: Go ahead and try it - just back up the database first.
  PaulN: I am pretty confident everything will just work.
  SeanM: That is the tech equivalent of "hey guys watch this!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340191
text:
  <+Djiem> There, I'm troll-baiting my whole MSN friendlist
  <+Djiem> "Oh shit, know what's happening December 2012 ?!?!"
  <+Djiem> And if anyone asks me what, I'll say "I turn 30"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340245
text:
  <Dark_T_Zeratul> My calculator slices, dices, and can scramble
  an egg within it's shell.  It also makes julian fries and gets
  AM radio stations.
  <Lady_Vahn> I'll become rich after thinking of a way to steal
  stuff across the internet
  <Lady_Vahn> I could like, sell it for a million dollars, keep
  the prototype
  <Lady_Vahn> then steal it from the guy I sold it too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340291
text:
  <verin> and on the fourth day, there was pr0n, and God said,
  "let this be a blessing onto you, since Eve is out shopping"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340339
text:
  Nexion: Dustin is so stupid
  Nexion: i told him, there is no real proof of god
  Nexion: and he goes there doesn't need to be
  Nexion: and i said "well then im god"
  Nexion: and he goes "prove it."
  Nexion: ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340387
text:
  <Prae> omg
  <Prae> why the fuck do people put copyright notices ont heir
  shit
  <Prae> it takes me long time to remove it :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340440
text:
  <gcc-> my powerbook is being assembled in taiwan. do they give
  people in sweatshops the weekend off?
  <Simbill> lmao
  <Simbill> prob not
  <Simbill> lucky for you
  <Simbill> =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340504
text:
  <Minion> http://www.bash.org/?69
  <hpv-send> lol
  <Elm> please dont link to that site
  <Minion> Why not
  <Elm> some of the stuff on it is not really appropriate
  <Minion> On bash.org??
  <Brianthe> yeah
  <Elm> yes
  <Minion> It's all text, bleh
  <Brianthe> alot of the quotes are pretty r-rated


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340599
text:
  <Fa||an> Steve Irwin
  <Fa||an> Description: Ever since he walked in on his wife and
  an alligator having an affair, he hasn't been the same
  <@Cyber|NWN> She loves the Croc ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340647
text:
  <hitman> I need a girl that doesn't drink
  <RageFury> hitman: Then how the hell are you gonna slip her
  that rufie?  On her juicy juice box?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340695
text:
  <continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few
  downloads once you switch to adsl?
  <continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think
  any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340841
text:
  <emuflame-> what are some good efnet servers?
  <nylint> hahahahahahahahahahh that's like asking 'do they make
  heroin that doesn't kill people'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340890
text:
  <[MI]Xealous> well, my friend invented the idea of "morning
  pussy"
  <[MI]Xealous> its like pulling apart a grilled cheese
  sandwhich


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.340988
text:
  <Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long
  brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
  <Soulfly-> YOU THINK ABOUT SEX POSITIONS DONT U?
  <simo> no
  <simo> i wank
  <Croew> oh god
  * Croew has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341040
text:
  <Melissa> skinny is teh win
  <Melissa> bettar than fat
  <DarkShadow> true
  <Melissa> nothing weirder than hearing a guys flab smack
  against you while fucking
  <Melissa> talk about a mood killer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341135
text:
  <@G3_> Half of all adults in the United States say they have
  registered as an organ donor, although only some have
  purchased a motorcycle to show that they're really serious
  about it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341181
text:
  <Kris> fuck!  someone stole all my beer and drank it and left
  the empties all over my apartment!
  <Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no
  real memory of anything after 21:00


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341231
text:
  <brainbox> Xuberant, please, check your keyboard for stuck
  keys
  <brainbox> you've clipped Retard-Lock or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341329
text:
  <pawz> i use lilo :") in fact.. my first cat was called Lilo
  <pawz> i would take him to the vet and they would be like "Oh,
  Lilo, from the Disney movie" and i would say "Oi, check his
  birth date. he was born years before that shitty movie. his
  name is short for LInux LOader"
  <Stranj> And then the vet gave you a shot to calm you down?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341474
text:
  <alan> if you were a credit card, you'd be a visa, since
  you're everywhere i want to be.
  <sp4nk> You'd be American Express. No one accepts you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341520
text:
  <dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special
  ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341574
text:
  <Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
  <Twilo> That's your fridge
  <Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in
  there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341618
text:
  (heck01) i sometimes dont know if i'm straight or not, then a
  cute girl sits down next to me and i get a huge erection and i
  remember


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341664
text:
  * Tomis has quit IRC (Quit: Flush twice, it's a long way to
  the kitchen.(Graffiti on wall of McDonald's bathroom))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341713
text:
  <FuriousC> listening to music no one else cares about doesnt
  make you cool, its just means you're a ska fan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341791
text:
  <Mug> ncencence
  <Deke> i think you mean unceunceunceunce
  <Deke> if you're going to be an unce'ing wanker, at least do
  it right
  <Hiroechan> unce?
  <Hiroechan> unf?
  <Hiroechan> you aussies have got all sorts of weird noise
  sounds
  <^WaR^Zzz> wtf is unce :)
  <Deke> unce is the noise a wog's car makes as it drives past
  <Deke> the techno bass beat
  <Deke> "unceunceunceunce"
  <Deke> nothing like unf
  <Hiroechan> heh
  <Hiroechan> i was going to suggest: Universal Noise of Cock
  Eating
  <Deke> lmao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341836
text:
  <Hawkeye> Spiderman reminds me of adolesence. One day a
  teenage guy wakes up with muscles, hair in new places and the
  ability to spray white sticky goo around the house.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341888
text:
  <Rain|BW> sbot jesus
  <Sbot> Jesus Saves! But Gretzky Rebounds, He Shoots, He
  Scores!
  <Rain|BW> tee-hee-hee
  <CrashCat> jesus saves souls and redeems them for valuable
  prizes at the ticket counter
  <gegi> Jesus saves, the rest of you take 5d20 damage.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.341984
text:
  <MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
  <thammy> haha
  <thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342048
text:
  <sad|st> grrrrrrrr
  <sad|st> im going to *kill* my ex
  <TblunT> good
  <TblunT> ex's suck
  <TblunT> fuck em
  <sad|st> i spend 20 mins making fresh whipped cream every year
  and she demands i put Cool MotherFucking Whip on her shit
  <sad|st> %&)%&*%&
  <TblunT> sounds like the cream isn't the only thing whipped y0


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342102
text:
  (MolsonCanadian) http://www.cnn.com/2002/EDUCATION/11/20/
  geography.quiz/index.html
  (TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent
  cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United
  States  <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
  (anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
  (anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
  (Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
  (Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in
  Malaysia!"
  (Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
  (Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342181
text:
  <&Dynamic_Inc> ive decided to play a huge prctical joke on my
  friends
  <&Dynamic_Inc> ima slip 2 of them the date rape drug when they
  are REALLY drunk
  <&Dynamic_Inc> then with the help of my other friends, strip
  them naked, and put them in      bed together, spooning
  <&Dynamic_Inc> beat one of them on the ass, so when they wake
  up its sore
  <&Dynamic_Inc> and smear some blood and poop on the sheets
  <&Dynamic_Inc> there gunna wake up and be like "O.O fuck."
  <&Dynamic_Inc> one of them will turn gay because of it
  <&Dynamic_Inc> and they will both act wiered for years
  <&Dynamic_Inc> then like 5 years down the road
  <&Dynamic_Inc> ill tell them the truth
  <&Dynamic_Inc> and then run like fuck
  <&Dynamic_Inc> its gunna be great
  <%Airegorne> can i help?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342237
text:
  <_apostle_> yea but all the really fun stuff costs more money
  <_apostle_> and you need to find the right kid of hooker
  <Monk_Grav> The right kid of hooker?
  <Monk_Grav> I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
  <_apostle_> *kind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342328
text:
  Hobbes_: Hmm.
  Hobbes_: I'm too lazy to use the mouse, and go to the address
  window.
  Hobbes_: http://movies.yahoo.com
  Hobbes_: Wait.
  Hobbes_: Shit.
  Hobbes_: I have to click that. =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342418
text:
  <Nvrmr> were gonna have stalkers
  <Nvrmr> gonna have turks knocking on our door asking how to
  use FlashFXP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342463
text:
  (mistersandman) aw pee
  (mistersandman) they require you to register it on the
  internet
  (X_Stickman) well with your 100% perfectly legal copy i'm sure
  you have no objections
  (mistersandman) oh of course not i just.. dont have an
  internet connection


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342522
text:
  <orion> A FUCKING GAY CLUB
  <orion>  HOMOS WILL TOUCH MY FUCKING FLYER
  <orion> this is a NIGHTMARE
  <orion> where's my time-release cyanide capsule of death
  <Guilty> Now orion, you arent gay from homo's touching a flyer
  you made
  <Guilty> Unless said flyer is a picture of your dick
  <Guilty> Which knowing you, it might be


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342625
text:
  <rhsara> i had a dream about hermaphrodites.
  <simmoril> naked hermaphrodites?
  <rhsara> OF COURSE! how else are you going to tell they're
  hermaphrodites?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910922
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342726
text:
  <ckx> part of the problem with christains
  <ckx> is they're so gullible
  <DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first
  place?
  <ckx> heh good point


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910923
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342823
text:
  <Ced> me no eating or drinking at the keybord
  <brolli_420> but jerking your shit is aceptable
  <brolli_420> you got some werid rules


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910923
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342869
text:
  <Pepper> BEEP BEEP YOU DONT HAVE ANCIENT 640x480 VESA DRIVERS
  ISNTALLED IM NOT GONNA CONTINUE YOU SUCK BUY AN OLDER PC
  <Pepper> BEEP BEEP EXTENDED MEMORY: 2408204282048208420 BYTES
  INTEGER OVERFLOW DIVIDE BY ZERO CRASH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910923
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342910
text:
  [Vexidus] When i shared my pics folder i had like 5000 naked
  pics of my girl shared
  [Vexidus] but nobody ever downloaded
  [Sanctum] Vex has a daughter?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910923
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.342951
text:
  [Lex_Talion] if the english language was good enough for our
  lord jesus christ, then it should be good enough for everybody
  else!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343004
text:
  <@Thrawn> They did a test in our local riot police lately
  <@Thrawn> You know, the one where you have to put creatively
  shaped wooden pegs in corresponding holes
  <@Thrawn> Turns out they have 2 kinds of persons in our riot
  police
  <@Thrawn> Very stupid persons
  <@Thrawn> And very strong persons


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343068
text:
  <Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical
  features
  <Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened
  pellets making up a complex head
  <Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest
  thing I'll have to a son
  <bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel
  you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs
  than every authority figure I've met in my entire life.
  <Taki> I do what I can


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343144
text:
  <Ash> look: I like python pretty well, but the syntax is kind
  of annoying.
  <AaronSw> this from a lisp programmer?!
  <Ash> AaronSw: One type of brace is much simpler than a
  bazillion!
  <AaronSw> to write perhaps, but not to rfead
  <Ash> Lisp's syntax is simple and efficient.
  <Ash> With a proper editor, lisp is incredibly easy to read.
  <look> OK, let's pretend we got past the syntax argument
  <look> It's now 45 minutes in the future
  <look> and we've agreed to disagree
  <look> Hurray!
  <AaronSw> I bet look's time machine is programmed in Python.
  <duck />


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343202
text:
  <MrFluffy> How do I tell which whores aren't cops?
  <Gil27> ircops?
  <Malolo> whores?
  <MrFluffy> ... irl
  <MrFluffy> you nerds
  <Malolo> irl?
  <Gil27> wtf


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343306
text:
  <Tajar> Just a heads up... I may be gone for a few days
  <Tajar> Hurricane Lili is heading our way
  <Tajar> and they evacuated the town next to us
  <Guildenstern> Back up your harddrive just in case
  <Tajar> Guildy, I'm unplugging it. And I have zip disks of the
  important stuff
  <Guildenstern> bout 900
  <Kiir> you know you are a computer geek when you have a
  hurricane headng your way and the first thing you do is backup
  your harddrive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343378
text:
  <MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
  <MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
  <MrSauce> fuck
  <MrSauce> she was so hot
  <EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to
  hump her daughter.
  <MrSauce> hrm
  <MrSauce> I'd be 35
  <MrSauce> very possible
  <EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
  <MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343439
text:
  <ryda> <Skitzo> hold alt and press F+A+X for mirc fax mode
  <ryda> lol im not that stupid
  <milenko> nah
  <milenko> you dont have to hold alt
  <milenko> just press alt then type fax,  its for dccing files,
  not faxing
  <ryda> pressing alt f a x quits mirc, you n00b
  <milenko> no it dosent
  <milenko> it brings up the dcc window
  *** ryda has quit IRC
  <milenko> whos the n00b now?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343488
text:
  mooseybaby4247: my acceptance would be like "I would like to
  thank all the other nominees who lost so that i could win, my
  family and friends, I love you all, and to everyone I worked
  with, you were great but I was greater because I'm the one
  with the award. Thank you."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343595
text:
  <Slimano> You know the Paul McCartney song 'Mamunia'?
  <john|away> yea
  <Slimano> I think mamunia in arabic is 'Peace'
  <LLXerxes> No wonder I've never heard it before.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343637
text:
  GreenWithEnvy89: what are you doing now
  pardusorientalis: writing
  GreenWithEnvy89: yay
  GreenWithEnvy89: show me when you get stiff
  GreenWithEnvy89: uhhh
  GreenWithEnvy89: did i say that?
  GreenWithEnvy89: stuff i meant
  GreenWithEnvy89: stuff
  pardusorientalis: XD
  pardusorientalis: stiff
  pardusorientalis: a stiffie


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343730
text:
  <moes_19> my computer is about to die
  <moes_19> its telling me i need to back up my files asap
  <moes_19> its like bill gates is fucking me in the ass and is
  telling me I might want to video tape it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343779
text:
  <+CrackB[a]be> jag sa inget om Â fÂ stock
  <+CrackB[a]be> n rmsta stock jag kommer h r  r dildo haha
  <+PurpleHelmetWarrior> i understood dildo, and thats all that
  i need to know


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343833
text:
  <sargeras000> I've been in one (1) house that had a urinal
  <thuban> whose house
  <sargeras000> don't recall
  <sargeras000> now that i think of it, it may have been a water
  fountain


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343885
text:
  <MafiaLeader> The MORE computers does not mean teh big wang
  <pk|notbusy> oh but it does, u knoew. Women go wild for a man
  with more than 5 obsolete Aplles
  <pk|notbusy> they think, like "Cool, he must be a AUTHOR or
  publisher, maybve he'll make me a webasite for all my dog
  paintings...."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.343935
text:
  <timmo> you know what i hate
  <timmo> errors that wont go away
  <Guilty> So you dislike children too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344079
text:
  <xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me?  I have
  lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free.  thats what
  hackers use, isn't it?
  <TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
  <xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive.
  windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix
  but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344128
text:
  Yarrow: Ok, this is weird. My sim brought a friend home from
  work. They turned out to be very compatible, and are now
  making out...
  Prince_Herb: What's weird about that?
  Yarrow: They're still wearing their work outfits and are llama
  mascots for the local sport team.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344175
text:
  <niles> If you use that logic, then using a completely open
  and unsecured network would be ok if you sealed the computer
  in a locked metal box, since it would deter physical attacks
  by baseball bats (ALL attacks are of equal value, right?). Or
  you could say that adding the line "WWJD" to the telnet login
  prompt would be a valid defense since it would lower the
  instance of attacks by Christians by 80%.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344235
text:
  <kurogane> "Research suggests that women with larger breasts
  are more intelligent than their less well endowed
  counterparts, with the larger breasted women studied having an
  I.Q. some 10 points in excess of those with smaller breasts.
  <kurogane> "The Chicago researcher (who confessed to herself
  being an A-cup), conducted a sociological study in which she
  took a sample of 1,200 women, divided by breast size into five
  categories: extra-large, large, medium, small, and
  extra-small.
  <kurogane> who funds these 'studies'
  <CindiK> Juggs magazine
  <kurogane> is that a science journal?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344284
text:
  jared 33 ghs 02: i heard possibly the most racial remark the
  other night at a restaurant
  The Magma Hawk: ?
  jared 33 ghs 02: an old jewish lady was lecturing my friend
  who was waitressing about the two tattoos she has and how its
  not good for her body and a drunk was listening and finally
  had enough and said "hey old lady, shut up, ur just jealous u
  got ur tattoo for free"
  The Magma Hawk: buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
  The Magma Hawk: that's what she gets for preaching
  jared 33 ghs 02: everyones jaw dropped and there was silence,
  and then he just turned around and continued talking to his
  friends or whatever


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344337
text:
  <Deke> hrm
  <Deke> thats scary
  <Deke> that hot korean chic from the world cup
  <Deke> was a man
  <|WaR|> i knew it!!!!
  <|WaR|> i kept telling ppl...the neck dammit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344389
text:
  <x-horizon> I was reading a magazine at work while my boss
  came to my office and asked me why I am not working...
  <x-horizon> I said "I didn't see you coming, sir"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344443
text:
  <dustin> seti@home isn't actually doing anything worth while,
  they're just trying to see how many morons they can get to
  waste cpu cycles
  <Teck7> no there doing a great thing
  <dustin> when they finally do find intelligent life they're
  gonna come down and kick your ass for wasting cpu cycles


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344535
text:
  <MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give
  them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black..
  who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be
  stupid faggots.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344581
text:
  <Slander> so what happens to all these trout after they're
  used for slapping? are they in a pile somewhere?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344677
text:
  <Mario> were is evesyone?
  <penfold> in graamer school
  <penfold> grammar*
  <penfold> damnit, it backfired :\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344726
text:
  <RSquared> You know, now that I think of it, God did directly
  influence my desire to draw...I used to doodle on the handouts
  for church all the time...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344827
text:
  <Encapsulate> How come you never go shopping with me?
  <hep> cause you dont put out
  <Encapsulate> Dude, I so do.
  <Encapsulate> You even have pictures, that you taunt me with.
  <hep> lies!
  <Encapsulate> Sure, I was drugged up and unconscious, but I
  PUT OUT!
  <hep> well yeah you put out THEN
  <Encapsulate> You said so!
  <hep> but I mean i spent a FORTUNE in roofies!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344886
text:
  <gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
  <Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
  <gorilla> YES
  <gorilla> HOW
  <Lan> sorta like this
  * gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by
  peer)
  <Lan> a little to the left


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.344978
text:
  <pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm
  abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345048
text:
  <ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
  <Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
  <Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
  <Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended
  targets, the others can't see it, right?
  <ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
  <Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know
  how gay I think he is
  <Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
  <Mikado`> LOL
  <Mitsukake> What?
  <Mitsukake> What's so funny?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345153
text:
  <Comarcracy> anyone know a good game for pc that is similar to
  gta?
  <ircbuddy> GTA2
  <ircbuddy> (You must have seen that coming...)
  <Comarcracy> kinda, i didnt think anyone would say that since
  i was refering to all gta games...but expect the unexpected
  <ircbuddy> Fair enough.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345204
text:
  <DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
  <killck> good?
  <DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345304
text:
  <Volt9000> Forget stabbing people in the face over the
  Internet.... I'd become wealthy if I made a program where you
  enter someone's IP address and you can remotely sterilize them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345381
text:
  <axial> Which are the best PDAs these days?
  <Chibby> when girls are kissing guys in the stairwell at
  school
  <Chibby> i think
  <Chibby> i have no clue
  <Chibby> why do you ask something like that?
  <Quinn> That was a really bad one.
  <Chibby> well whats a good PDA then?
  <axial> ..huh?
  <Chibby> you said: "what's the best public display of
  affection?"
  <Chibby> i attempted to answer it
  <Quinn> I think ax was meaning personal digital assistant.
  <Chibby> OMFG
  : Chibby slaps myself
  <Chibby> k bye~
  <Quinn> I thought you were joking, heh.
  <Chibby> persocon is the best PDA then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345435
text:
  <@Xenon> You know what the best feeling in the world is?
  <@Xenon> It is when you have a headache, and you take pills,
  and you can feel the pain becoming less and less every couple
  of minutes
  <@Xenon> It's so satisfying
  <@malevolence> you've clearly never been laid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345520
text:
  <The-Jim> women can tell when other women are on though.
  <harr|away> this family has a dog, a cat, and just added a
  bird
  <harr|away> The-Jim: yes, generally by pheromones
  <crickett> i can tell when girls on their their period too
  <crickett> generally by the shouts
  <crickett> followed by the "i love you" 's
  * crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
  Goodbye!)
  * crickett has joined #artuproar
  <The-Jim> no crickett that's not why they won't have sex with
  you.
  <Ronwe> /nod
  <crickett> i fail to see why i would be kicked for that
  comment
  <The-Jim> Harr = woman
  <crickett> thanks The-Jim
  <The-Jim> Crickett = man making period jokes
  <crickett> i dunno why that would offend
  <crickett> i mean my slave didn't say anything about my black
  jokes
  <crickett>  ... that might be because i cut his tongue out
  * crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
  Goodbye!)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345627
text:
  <ecco> a commercial for the fonz toaster would rock
  <ecco> they'd show him in a toaster
  <ecco> and he'd be like EEEEEEEYYYYY
  <ecco> and then they'd turn it on
  <ecco> and the coils would heat up
  <ecco> and he'd be like EEEYYAAAAARRRRRGHHhhhhhhh and his
  flesh would burn off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345677
text:
  <Roderick> the book I am reading, You Shall Know Our
  Velocity!, is one of those books you can't rush
  <ninda42> is the subtitle for that book But you Shall never
  know our Position! ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345730
text:
  <Purelimit> Fuck man we hear about all these terrorists
  nowadays
  <SgtPayne> Yeah but most came here legally staying after their
  visas expired
  <Purelimit> Are u fucking serious
  <SgtPayne> Yeah compare that too blockbuster if your 3 days
  late their people are all over you
  <Purelimit> yeah lets put blockbuster in charge of immagration
  <SgtPayne> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345814
text:
  On a sunny summer eve
  < Jan-> I really need to write up a readme on this to explain
  exactly what it's required to do.
  < Jan-> Every time I bring it up, I go through this same
  conversation.
  < Emil> Jan-: have you entertained the thought
  < Emil> that
  < Emil> you might be wrong?
  < Emil> If everytime you bring it up people tell you are wrong
  < Emil> Have you even considered the alternative?
  < Jan-> Sure. But then I've reexamined the situation, and
  realised that no, I'm right, it's just that you don't
  understand my use case.
  A few minutes later
  < Jan-> bear in mind I've explained this about a billion times
  and it always ends like this.
  < Jan-> it's getting really bloody tiresome.
  < Emil> it ends with people not wanting to hear your shit
  anymore
  < Jan-> I'm not an idiot, I have thought about this, I
  understand the problem.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345861
text:
  <moira> I converted an MP3 to ogg, then back again, and then
  back and forth between MP3 and OGG format thirty times, and
  when I listened to it after that, it was just an mp3 of you
  guys talking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345911
text:
  <Robzy> Lol, my dad just asked me "Would you rather take out
  an ugly girl, or a girl with a nice personality" and i replied
  "they are the same thing arent they?" and he goes "WOO! You
  are *MY* son" hehehehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.345969
text:
  <Sonic> snow tomorrow. yay.
  <Turtle> No snow in the hill country of Texas....where are you
  expecting your snow, sonic?
  <moc> no snow in houston either
  <Sonic> pennsylvania
  <Sonic> only about 4 more inches
  <2slim> we have 4 feet here in Idaho
  <fiver> is that due to inbreeding slim?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346022
text:
  <Snojoe> Lemme ask you somethin
  <Gnarly> Okay...
  <Snojoe> If you date a two-headed chick, and you want sex, and
  one of them says no..
  <Snojoe> is it rape?
  <Gnarly> you dont have much free time, do you?
  <Snojoe> Time is a factor here, man... need an answer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346109
text:
  srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come over, i told
  her i was setting up freebsd
  srjames: she thought i was doing drugs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346162
text:
  <Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
  <GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
  <Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
  <Slerte> err


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346204
text:
  figs: whatcha doin man
  trawlz: moping cause i have no life, you?
  figs: just opened like 50 starburst
  figs: gonna see how many i can put in my mouth at once =D
  trawlz: well shit. i feel better already


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346256
text:
  * KiLLerMiK has joined #tonyhawksproskater
  <KiLLerMiK> are we talking about tony hawk?
  <bens0nio> mmm wendy's bacon cheeseburger
  <KiLLerMiK> best combo?
  <bens0nio> best combo is #2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346318
text:
  <Adolla> oh dear I ate too many broken gingerbread men
  <Supel> not broken, alternatively configured, please
  <Adolla> and the burned ones can't be given out they have to
  be eaten
  <Supel> *alternatively carbonised
  <Supel> *gingerbread people
  <Supel> actually, ginger can be offensive
  <Adolla> sorry, gingerbread people
  <Supel> *funnyshapedrootspicepeople


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346392
text:
  * Calydor raises an eyebrow.
  <Calydor> Weren't you, y'know, banned?
  <Killian> what's it look like to you? :>
  <Killian> jive turkey
  * Calydor checks the ban-list.
  <Calydor> Looks like to me you got a different IP.
  <Killian> news to me. Whaddya wanna do about it sucka? :>
  * Calydor sets mode: +b *!
  *@adsl-69-232-222-88.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net
  * Killian was kicked by Calydor (This.)
  * Calydor coughs.
  <Locandez> What a twat.
  <Calydor> Yup.
  *Killian* I may be banned, but you're still a furry. I'd say I
  came out better in the deal :>
  <Calydor> Bash.org rule #1: Don't call the guy with an @
  names.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346445
text:
  <Amanda`> We're going to have matching motherboards and
  processors
  <timmo> AMANDA: NOW THAT IS THE TYPE OF WEIRD SHIT IM TALKING
  ABOUT
  <timmo> MOST WOMEN WANT MATCHING SHEETS AND SHIT
  <timmo> weirdo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346592
text:
  <SyntaxError> So how do you guys think Bush is doing
  <Pacster> Don't get me started ...
  <Merrick178> I'm sick of people hating Bush
  <Pacster> Omg -.-
  <Merrick178> He's doing pretty good for a retarded person


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346643
text:
  <anonop> whats your worst sex story?
  <anon> I'll answer with a one-liner.
  <anon> It takes a brave man to swim in the Red waters, but it
  takes a hero to drink from it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346691
text:
  <death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her
  and her new boyfriend in bed
  <ktp753>ouch.
  <death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346737
text:
  <mov> scali and DAL here, cool must say
  <DAL9000> mov: nice set of lips to reach my ass all the way
  from sweden


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346792
text:
  <Lt_Tinkle> lolololololol
  <Lt_Tinkle> i have my mincraft log viewable as a webpage
  <Lt_Tinkle> and someone did html injection
  <Lt_Tinkle> by talking inside minecraft
  <Lt_Tinkle> and made it redirect to meatspin
  <Lt_Tinkle> when i find out who it was
  <Lt_Tinkle> i shall make them an op


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346842
text:
  <meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and
  displaying physical
  connection.  Any one have any idea why?
  <munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable
  <meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346887
text:
  [@Dz[Here]] Did you see Episode 2?
  [@Dz[Here]] You'll want to have SEX with Natalie Portman after
  it
  [@Dz[Here]] I seriously thing that... uh... $calc(($150
  million / $7) / 2) guys want to have sex with her!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346943
text:
  <b1u3> when i was in like 5th grade, a DARE cop came to visit
  our class
  <b1u3> he was going through his whole deal like 'yes im a real
  police officer, and this is a real gun on my belt, and if you
  try to grab it im trained to break your arm upon reflex' and
  of course we had a doped up kid with ADD in our class who only
  heard 'this is a real gun, try to grab it'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.346993
text:
  <Foxworth> well, I just saw an ad for a birth control patch
  <TRC> yeah
  <TRC> they have had it for a while
  <Stom> does it go over the vagina?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347051
text:
  <Deltan> I think that machine needs a reboot
  <Deltan> Try to edit the net adapter properties.  "An
  unexpected error has occured" with an OK button.
  <Deltan> Where's the, "No it's not fucking OK" button.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347115
text:
  <Gygaxis> and never use your knife on the screaming guys
  <Muro> Nah, those are okay to shoot. Just never knife the ones
  with bombs for hands.
  <Gygaxis> muro: those are the ones that scream
  <Muro> The shooty ones don't scream at all?
  <Gygaxis> not really
  <Gygaxis> the ones with bombs CONTINUOUSLY scream though
  <Wataru> Can you shoot the bombs?
  <Muro> Yeah. The 'splode REAL good.
  <fabutron> THIS CONVERSATION KILL BRAIN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347163
text:
  <NIH> Dec 12 1917
  <NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen
  dead.
  <NIH> Worst... or best?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347217
text:
  <@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who
  attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching
  Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his
  son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a
  very wealthy banker.
  <@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US
  Government's offices:
  <@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347269
text:
  <Jeian> SeCuRe: who would you rather fuck? Marilyn Manson or
  the Hanson lead singer? ;]
  <SeCuRe> Jeain good god I would take Manson anyday lol
  <SeCuRe> he has tits!
  <SeCuRe> He does! and hason are all flat chested..
  <SeCuRe> at least manson will let me rub them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347315
text:
  * Thirty-nothingster will kick the next person who spoils
  <Pong64> Darth Vader is Luke's father. =D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347404
text:
  [Sioux]: OMG!
  [Sioux]: THAT JOKE IS OLD!!!!!!!!
  [Sioux]: It's over 10 years old. I told it to all my friends
  back in 1991.
  [CwR]: Run out of fingers to calculate the exact difference?
  :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347450
text:
  <SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or
  gif?
  <felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910948
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347495
text:
  mattysteppo: tony its my bday
  Agregz82: is it?
  mattysteppo: yeah
  mattysteppo: i'm 42
  Agregz82: happy bday man
  mattysteppo: thx
  Agregz82: im gettin 2 teeth pulled today... so uhhhh thats
  your present
  mattysteppo: nice
  mattysteppo: put em on a necklace for me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347598
text:
  <Tarrant> the condom pack says
  <Tarrant> "Don't return used condoms to the distributor
  through the mail."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347656
text:
  <DSCS_SoCalKicks> click the live365 link
  <DSCS_SoCalKicks> ont he bottom it says also try and gives
  links to more stations
  <Niq> I'm not into "clicking links".  It's a gateway drug.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910950
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347747
text:
  <white_tx3> i was at a pet store in the western suburbs of
  melbourne doing a quote with my boss and in the window where
  the cats where there was a sign that said these cats are for
  pets only???


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910950
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347791
text:
  (01/21/02) 11:41PM<MrDev-> christ, they should put a nice
  warning when you log into a solaris box that killall on linux
  and solaris are entirely different commands


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910950
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347837
text:
  * vampyr giggles in a sinister manner
  <vampyr> hmm..that didn't come out right
  * vampyr chortles in a sinister manner


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347885
text:
  <enntee> my parents told me one time we were in a fancy
  restaurant, i was
  a child, and i had gone to the bathroom to take a piss
  <enntee> i ran out of the bathroom screaming "i made bubbles!
  i made
  bubbles!" because i had always wanted to make bubbles in the
  toilet water,
  but never had enough pee


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.347980
text:
  IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online.
  Eddie0235: Why?
  IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348037
text:
  <Feren> I'm a network engineer, and I'm o-kay / I plot all
  night and capture packets all day.
  <Athena> You smack down PCs and eat Cat5, and go to the
  lavatory? On wednesdays you hunt scriptkiddies, and have
  roasted punk for tea?
  <Slipstream> Old MacDonald had a network. EIGRP. And on this
  Network, he had some packets. EIGRP. With an ACK, ACK, here,
  and an ACK, ACK, there. Here an ACK, there an ACK, everywhere
  an ACK-ACK. Old Macdonald had a Network. EIGRP.
  <Feren> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348091
text:
  <Dark_Brood> #define sizeof(x) rand()
  <Rangsk> you can do that?
  <Dark_Brood> Yup
  <Catafriggm> OMFG!
  <Catafriggm> That's disgusting!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348135
text:
  <decay`> wanna know whats good about 12 year olds, you put
  them in a shower and slck there hair.. it makes them look 8


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348186
text:
  <Rebbel> Man Google Earth is awesome
  <Android18> Why?
  <Rebbel> Im looking at my house
  <Rebbel> brb, pizzas here
  <BFMV> Now thats what i call technology


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348232
text:
  *** MC-Magical_Tetris_Challenge is now known as MC-MarioGolf
  <Magisa> do you like
  <Magisa> run all the way over to the computer to change your
  away nick every time you put a new cart in your n64


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348278
text:
  <kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this
  program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut
  down", and i was worried that they found out about the porn i
  had looked at


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348325
text:
  <Ralp> Does it pop up a window that says "WARNING!! Your
  computer is currently broadcasting an IP address!  With this
  IP address hackers can immediately begin attack your computer!
  Click here to enlarge your penis!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348427
text:
  <bix> it was like the flintstones
  <mltj> but without the cars.
  <mltj> or dinosaurs.
  <mltj> or flintstones.
  <bix> exactly.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348469
text:
  CREdragon) it takes a man very comfortable in his
  heterosexuallity to have sex with another man
  CREdragon) ... wait that came out wrong
  ~SS) ..
  ~SS) You have been bashed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348514
text:
  -(+MinioN5000)- k
  -(+MinioN5000)- installing
  -(+MinioN5000)- oh shit
  -(+MinioN5000)- illegal operation
  -(+MinioN5000)- wtf
  * @Cuthbert calls the police


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348572
text:
  <pHluid> It usually takes like 30 days to reroute a fucking T1
  line
  <mef> why are you telling us?
  <pHluid> Just mentioning
  <pHluid> Didn't mean to interrupt your meaningful fucking
  idling.
  <pHluid> So sorry.
  <mef> Apology accepted.
  <l0st> we all make mistakes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348631
text:
  <+mOrphz> damn it :/
  <@Lego> damn it :/
  <+mOrphz> stop that
  <@Lego> stop that
  <+mOrphz> :D
  <@Lego> :D
  <+mOrphz> Lego smells
  <@Lego> Lego smells
  <+mOrphz> /quit
  quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348723
text:
  <Quentil> uh, is anyone a little boggled by the fact that cnn
  and msnbc and foxnews seem to be better equiped with stuff
  than the entire nation of iraq?
  <William> not realy
  <Quentil> "now we go to the carrier group and watch the planes
  take off.  Okay, we're gonna cut to the guy reporting that
  those planes are now over this city.  Let's watch the bombs
  fall live.  Okay, now we go back to the carrier and watch the
  planes land.
  <William> dont forget the news's armored vehicles
  <Quentil> yeah
  <William> which are better than Iraqs, in some cases
  <Quentil> heh
  <William> at least its not like Macross II, where the News
  Service had a Variable Fighter
  <William> If FOX had a jet fighter, something would be wrong
  <William> seriously wrong
  <Quentil> that would rock
  <Quentil> 'Now we go live to the FOX f-15...which has shot
  down three iraq jets so far...The media and gov't are so in
  bed with one another for this war it almost would make sense.
  <William> dont forget the FOX news broadcasting Aircraft
  Carrier station.
  * Quentil laughs
  <William> and their "Close to the Action" Camera Tank
  <Quentil> and the FOX News special ops group.
  <William> "Getting News, the SEAL way."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348808
text:
  <poit[fsgc> !decide "slack off and lie about the reason" "do
  the work and have a clean moral slate"
  <CrockPot> The roll of the dice picks: slack off and lie about
  the reason.
  <poit[fsgc> Good bot
  * poit[fsgc goes to sleep


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348856
text:
  <cathy_n> That's because processed food is so manipulative.
  <Yawgatog> Sometimes chicken nuggets force me into situations
  I am uncomfortable with.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348905
text:
  <nwa_> someone sniff me and send me a copy of all the info you
  collect, i am most interested
  <beeMind> nwa_: I've been sniffing you and I have some info.
  You smell funny.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.348954
text:
  <spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on
  crank.
  <spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
  <r> jewish nigger


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349007
text:
  <Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage
  sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to
  label him gay ^_^
  <dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
  <DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with
  what looks like pudding.
  <DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in
  preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349105
text:
  * moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the
  wind
  <moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
  <moktod> brb
  * moktod hides under desk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349204
text:
  <Zeta7> man
  <Zeta7> dont give me that guns are bad shit
  <Zeta7> I have numerous guns and I dont remember the last time
  a life was taken with any of them
  <[sq]> guns
  <[sq]> hehe
  <[sq]> you know i have blackouts like that too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349340
text:
  <StanM> Pussy is like MP3s
  <StanM> For every one who pays for it, theres thousands more
  getting it for free.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349388
text:
  <RST38h> When I bought 14.4kbd modem, TELNET and FTP became so
  lightning fast...
  <jaem> what sort of lightning do you have where you live,
  then?
  <lcuk> the sort that used to buffer before striking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349477
text:
  <Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
  <Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
  <Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
  <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
  <Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
  <Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
  <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will
  last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting,
  it ends with a punchline."
  <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will
  last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting,
  and ends with a punchline."
  <Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed
  out."
  <Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349529
text:
  *** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
  * Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
  <Al_Koholic> Jesus
  <Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
  <Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as
  lube.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349579
text:
  <sweet_monica12> any nice boys wanna chat?
  <TerrorByte> You know sweet_monica12, saying that on IRC is
  like walking into a whore house and saying 'Any nice girls
  want to fuck?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349682
text:
  <Avery> I called AOL tech support once
  <Avery> I was hungover
  <Avery> and couldn't find my pants
  <Avery> so I called them
  <Avery> the lady told me to look under the kitchen table
  <Avery> andthere they were
  <Avery> how she knew that is beyond me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349734
text:
  <+an_ass733> Hey guys I have someting interesing to tell
  <+an_ass733> I went to a chinese restaurant for lunch today
  <+an_ass733> The fortune cookie said "A successful life comes
  from a life of virtue and hard work."
  <+an_ass733> On the back were the lottery numbers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349791
text:
  *** Now talking in #christian
  <ircbuddy> :matrix.de.eu.dal.net 432 ircbuddy irc-pope
  :Non-Ethical nickname
  <ircbuddy> Even DALNet knows that the pope is 'non-ethical' :P
  <BiblThmpr> excuse me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349888
text:
  [StrikeBot] 65.  Who sought to create The Great Society?
  [StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__
  [Chevelle] bhudda
  [Video] Lando Calrisian
  [MinuS] lando calrisian


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349944
text:
  <ETP> heh
  * Tocool is very confused
  <ETP> tocool: so am I, but the key is to just say 'heh' so
  people think you understand
  <Tocool> yea but
  <Tocool> ...
  <Tocool> heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.349996
text:
  <comm> what did r. kelly go to jail for again?
  <mcgruff> it was for fucking a 17 year old girl
  <mcgruff> which to me, is only a crime
  <mcgruff> if you don't enjoy yourself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350059
text:
  <Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me
  about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
  <Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't
  wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex
  I'll get"
  <Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only
  married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he
  replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I
  remember how that happened"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350117
text:
  <RushMore> Shit, i was in physics and near shit myself
  <RushMore> THe place went black, and i thought i crashed
  <RushMore> THEN a light came on, and i saw a ball dropping,
  but it was only at like 8fps
  <RushMore> I thought "Shit, i need a new graphics card"
  <RushMore> Then i found out, the teacher turned out all the
  lights, put on a strobe light at 8flashes/s and dropped a ball
  so you could see its accelleration
  <RushMore> Dickhead.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350165
text:
  <kmad> ppl should stop using worn-out cliches because they're
  not funny anymore
  <}}T-DuB--> is that your final answer?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350217
text:
  <brase_one> anyone have kemetic suns - stop the world = free
  leech to my ftp site
  <MiNdizzle> that's the weirdest math equation i've seen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350276
text:
  <Spurty> so, I learnt a lesson this morning
  <Spurty> choose politicially correct passwords for systems
  <Spurty> this _was_ my security password for test work here
  <Spurty> 8=======D~
  <Spurty> and there was a bug in the code, so it was spewing my
  password into logs on servers all over the place
  <Spurty> meh, embaressment factor 11 out of 10
  <Spurty> ttfn, I have jism to clean


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350337
text:
  <myst> nah, snow is cool.
  <Joshua> if you're a bear.
  <myst> skiing, snowboarding, etc.
  <myst> just have to dress for it
  <Joshua> that's how i broke my arm for the first time
  <Joshua> snowboarding
  <myst> oh ouch
  <Joshua> or rather, falling down a hill because you SUCK at
  snowboarding


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350387
text:
  <H|TM4N> \msg NickOP@austnet.org id rd9alpz%
  <H|TM4N> lol
  <zAim|trance> lemme try sumthing
  * Quits: H|TM4N (Justin@vw1121.netspace.net.au) (Killed
  (NickOP (Kill requested by zAim|trance)))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350441
text:
  <Octane> I was once watching this documentary on Discovery
  channel.
  <Octane> They had this Asian family cooking scorpions.
  <Octane> The reporter asked one of the family members, "what
  does it taste like?"
  <Octane> The family member responded, "tastes like penguin".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350535
text:
  <BombScare> im fuckin done
  <BombScare> bah..no high speed net = no streaming pr0n movies
  <BombScare> gotta jerk off to memories then :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350696
text:
  <Fishfood> EVERYONE NET PERSON I HAVE MET HAS ENDED UP SUCKING
  MY COCK
  <Eurakarte> WOW, I HAVE GOT TO MEET YOU
  <Funk> that's why I don't want to meet you
  <Fishfood> I HARDLY THINK THAT'S YOUR CHOICE
  <Fishfood> YEAH I BET THE ONLY REASON FUNK DOESN'T WANT TO
  MEET ANYONE IS THAT HES ONLY JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL
  <Funk> That's why Fish wants to meet me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350757
text:
  <HA|MI-Edam> I read about this guy, and he was having sex with
  a girl, and his, you-know-what sorta like, spontaniously
  combusted
  <EvilMonkey> ...
  <DrWoody> Started on FIRE?
  <MI-Edam> no, exploded
  <MI-Edam> They say it was under so much pressure or something
  <DrWoody> AHHHHHHHHH
  <EvilMonkey> wt im never having sex!
  <Suzie> your missing out
  <EvilMonkey> missing out on having my mangina explode?
  <EvilMonkey> no thanks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350853
text:
  <@SpamapS> damn I need a tape drive
  <@SpamapS> takes 4 CD-RW's just to get my /home without the
  porn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350902
text:
  * Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted
  after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350948
text:
  <fo0bar> "Thank you for calling SBC Nevada Bell DSL help.  If
  your cupholder is broken, please press 1.  If you want an
  actual knowledgable support person, pleas enter the IP
  representation of a /28 netmask


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.350998
text:
  <tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate
  Communications" now
  <tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
  <neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b)
  someone had control
  over it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351046
text:
  <Carter> How did you guys used to think babies were made?
  <Carter> I thought it was about urine!
  <Carter> I thought you had to mix urine, so I peed in this
  bucket and I tried to get my brother to do the same so that I
  could have a baby in the bucket


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351095
text:
  bitshifted: i just dropped a macbook power supply on my
  foot... and all my mother could think to do was quote that
  commerical where PC trips over his power cord and breaks his
  leg and Mac is fine because his has a smooooth disconnection
  bitshifted: hi, i'm a linux box, and i... i can't feel my toes
  :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351147
text:
  <kawawang_bata> hi!
  <kawawang_bata> can i join this channel?
  <El_Brian> ... isn't it a little late to ask that?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351195
text:
  <Elly_May>  my little sister just asked me why my hair was
  tangled
  <Elly_May>  i told her it was because my boyfriend came all
  over it when i was giving him a blow job
  <Elly_May>  at which point my father admitted he could hear
  me....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910971
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351342
text:
  <devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
  <devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
  <devilc0ck> guess who'z got the ninja rap..
  <fingers> guess who's all alone in thinking how kewl that is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910971
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351394
text:
  <eV`Zenoge> Isn't herpies food?
  <eV`Zenoge> like chocolate
  <eV`Zenoge> wait a minute
  <eV`Zenoge> thats hershes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351447
text:
  Finque: i always tell a girl when i cum
  Finque: one time i didn't
  Finque: let's just say she bites
  Finque: she had specifically told me she wasn't going to take
  it in her mouth
  Finque: i was like "yeah right bitch"
  Finque: so i cum, she chokes, swallows, smile at me
  Finque: and bites
  tom: wtf
  Finque: so i said sorry and that i'd make it up through
  cunnilingus
  Finque: i got her good and horney
  Finque: and bit her clit like it was a hot dog


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351496
text:
  <Procyan> is there like 1 person on earth that knows tcl/tk
  and is writing all of the apps?
  <unSlider> procyan: no, there are a bunch of people who dont
  know tcl/tk but are writing apps for it anyway


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351558
text:
  <+Lithium-> i nearly died
  <+Lithium-> going into the cellar - sister fucking put some
  fucking shit on the steps
  <+shak> :o
  <+jonathan> that must smell
  <+richard> lol
  <+jonathan> does your sister lay dumps all the time?
  <+jonathan> can she lay a dump on me?
  <+james> ...
  <+Alex-A11> lol?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910972
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351612
text:
  (Cdian)If anyone wants to see it, I have the entire series of
  "goatse" pictures, not just the most famous one. You'd be
  horriffied to see exactly what that man can fit up his arse.
  (em-p)Yeah cause when I saw goatse.cx my first thought was
  "where can I find MORE?" and then, when I found more? "I'm
  going to hold onto these!" I just don't KNOW you anymore dude.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910973
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351705
text:
  <DeathFist> hey, can u guys stop talking about racism and
  shit...its getting old...if you dont like it, then you dont
  have to own slaves, its as easy as that...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910973
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351757
text:
  <mookster> Florida's getting fucked again... That really
  sucks. Good luck, man
  <litty> not to avoid or make light the seriousness of any
  hurricane, but saying florida gets fucked by a hurricane is
  damn funny.  it's like the eye of the hurricane (the vagina)
  is on a mission to get it on with something. and there could
  be no better way to fill it's gaping gash with the biggest
  penis in the world (florida).


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910974
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351811
text:
  <@straylight> ARGH
  <@straylight> how can the AIM name "shotbybothsides" be taken?
  WHO THE FUCK WOULD TAKE THAT?
  <@straylight> ...
  <@straylight> other than me?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910974
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351939
text:
  <Animenia> Oh shit almost forgot to tell you guys.... The
  funniest thing ever happened today... :)
  <Animenia> There\'s this dude living beneath my apartment and
  some other dude across the street
  <Animenia> and we talk from time to time so we decided to have
  a litte chat on my teamspeak server
  <Animenia> so after talking a while
  <Animenia> one of the guys said he had to leave for a while so
  the server got really quiet...
  <Ayanami9870> because they saw a webcam pic of his dildo?
  <Animenia> Though this guy didn\'t use push to talk so after
  like 10 minutes of inactivity on the server I started hear
  moanings and shit from my speakers
  <Animenia> and I was playing really loud music
  <Animenia> Then you hear his mom come in and he\'s like \"oh
  shit, it\'s not what it looks like\" and she goes of screaming
  \"YOU\'RE MASTURBATING?!?!\" and starts crying and shit and
  tells him to move out and stuff like that
  <Dazzio> holy fuck
  <Animenia> You should have seen the look on his face when I
  met him in the elevator later today.... He gave me the
  dirtiest look ever.... and said \"Did you really have to play
  so god damn loud music?? The whole block heard of my mom and
  that shit\"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910974
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.351991
text:
  <H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> well im off to fuck up at installing linux
  prolly wont be back
  <H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> nice knowing you all
  <H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> lol
  <Satans_LiL_HeLLper> k cya


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910975
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352035
text:
  <Cyrack> told my girlfriend that MS could get all her personal
  letters... now she unplugs the network before starting
  Office... :-(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352175
text:
  Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard?
  Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR
  SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest
  with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your
  throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your
  chest.
  Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically
  what you're getting.
  Centimetro: Wtf


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352244
text:
  * temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
  <temAjinsDawg> I have ultima IV, on SMS......best SMS game
  ever
  <temAjinsDawg> people say itS hard to find....is that tRue?
  <temAjinsDawg> I boughT it for $2
  <temAjinsDawg> yeaH ok.....don'T all talk at onCe
  <temAjinsDawg> hellllllllllllllllooo
  <temAjinsDawg> phukking answer me!!!!!!!
  <temAjinsDawg> Do you want me to unleash my horde of script
  kiddies???
  <temAjinsDawg> I have many who do what i ask, in return for
  wareZ
  <temAjinsDawg> so answer
  <temAjinsDawg> pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  <temAjinsDawg> i am asking nicely now......answer me
  <temAjinsDawg> phuck you all.......i have your
  IP's.......expect trouble!......have a nice day!
  * temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
  * temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
  * temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910976
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352337
text:
  <Sam> Coding in C is like sending a 3 year old to do
  groceries. You gotta tell them exactly what you want or you'll
  end up with a cupboard full of pop tarts and pancake mix.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352391
text:
  <Necroth|HAPPY> <|707th|Selerox> not even god understands
  women <-- not even womans understand womans ;)
  <|MoK|Fluid> Thank god, else we wouldn't have catfights.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352472
text:
  <SinTax> I did something today that nobody will be able to do
  ever again so long as the earth rotates.
  <SinTax> I work at a hardware store. The truck had just come
  in, and we're unloading the junk from it. It's a lot of work.
  I was called over to help, so I drank all of my supersweet,
  very hot coffee in like two gulps.
  <SinTax> About an hour later, after we're all done, I began to
  feel really sick from all the coffee, like I was going to
  throw up at any time. I just sort of stick it out though,
  because I don't want to look weak to the other hardware guys.
  They've got me outmuscled by like twenty pounds apiece.
  <mInmAx> mmhm
  <SinTax> I'm cleaning in the aisles, and some old woman walks
  up to me with her eight year old girl, asking me where the
  lightbulbs are.
  <SinTax> The little girl is screaming for something on the
  little toy display while I'm trying to tell this old woman
  (Who did not seem to understand that we don't sell
  lightbulbs.)
  <gorg> lol old people
  <SinTax> and this girl is making a ruckus, running everywhere.
  I'm on my third explanation for our lack of lightbulbs, trying
  to keep the coffee in, when this girl slams the hell into me
  while she's running around.
  <SinTax> I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I pretty much
  covered this screaming child in piping hot coffee and a sludgy
  mass of granola while her grandmother went off in the
  direction of our stockrooms to look for lightbulbs.
  <SinTax> It was definitely worth the twenty something job
  applications I now have to write up all over again.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910977
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352525
text:
  Customer: "I CAN'T READ OR RECEIVE EMAIL! HELP!"
  We're only allowed to reply through email, so I almost deleted
  it. But I reconsidered.
  Tech Support: "Yes you can."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910978
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352619
text:
  <@ping> my ex was Mennonite
  <@ping> well, is
  <Xolution> What the hell does being from Minnesota have to do
  with anything?
  <@ping> are you really that stupid?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910978
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352707
text:
  cory: so how much shit did you pack.
  tara: like 2 duffle bags.
  cory:  damm thats alot of shit packing.
  tara: yeh i inventoried it.
  cory:  huh, so thats what they call it these days.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352804
text:
  <ShajJee> i am muslim and i never belive on sex
  <jackfig> oh, that's good
  <Dormir> congrats
  <ShajJee> and a muslim can never do sex with anyone
  <jackfig> ummm, then why are there so  many of them?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910979
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352856
text:
  <JtHM> if I had a child I'd do it naturally
  <sacarna> out your penix?
  <JtHM> it's big enough to handle it I reckon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.352949
text:
  <Omini> Worst... day... ever...
  <Omini> I was on the crapper, and my right big toe hurt a
  little - so while I took a crap I decided to investigate...
  <Omini> As soon as I took my sock off, I swear - the smell
  from my feet and the smell from my crap collided - if it was a
  movie, it would have cut scene to a nuclear explosion.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353010
text:
  <Really_Stoned> why is it when you buy a new hd and they tell
  you, that you can never fell the sob up in about 2 weeks your
  deleting stuff on it just to make space
  <zvxrfpu> because data expands to fit the space available.
  <dfwdaddy> so do warez and porn.
  <dfwdaddy> you didn't make your requirements clear to the
  salesperson, clearly.
  <Really_Stoned> i actually dont have any porn on any of my
  computers now cause it takes up to much space
  <dfwdaddy> when you walked into compusa and said 'where are
  your harddrivez' he didn't really hear the Z


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353059
text:
  <Aniki> WOW i just found a hidden porn folder on my hdd
  <Aniki> brb
  <Cyber_Akuma> ...........
  <Cyber_Akuma> aniki found the temporary internet files folder


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910980
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353116
text:
  <Jesus> oh mean, my underwear elastic thing just came off
  <MoonKatz> haha
  <MoonKatz> mine's painted on, no elastic to worry with
  <MoonKatz> although, the way the paint is flaking, I've been
  considering updating to aluminum siding
  <Jesus> aluminum siding?
  <Jesus> jesus, your underwear is more classy than my home


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353168
text:
  <Jubei301> So I walk into the room with the cat on my
  shoulder, facing backwards, and my stepdad is trying to watch
  TV, and I step in front of him, point at my cats ass, and say
  "ARG! shiver me timbers, its me one eyed parrot" and he
  laughed for a long time....my mom was just staring at me like
  im some kind of pervert.
  <Jubei301> What? doesnt everyone use their cats brown-eye for
  their punchlines?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353219
text:
  [RJoeFish] hmmm
  [RJoeFish] my mom forwarded me something called 'Who's your
  daddy?', this can't be good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910981
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353272
text:
  -!- [lsd] has quit [Remote closed the connection]
  -!- [lsd] has joined #lgl
  <[lsd]> hehe
  <[lsd]> i love it when you change the time on your box
  <[lsd]> and xchat thinks "shit, i haven't seen a ping for 20
  mins"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353322
text:
  <Zeroflowne>what is the name of that oral sex move that can
  kill your partner?
  <sHaDoWkAiO>The oral sex "move"? You mean like punching her
  and yelling "HADOKEN!" while performing cunnilingus?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353370
text:
  <Spiff-Johnson> So i bought a shirt from express men.. does
  that make me gay?
  <cool4dude> no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you
  gay
  <cool4dude> the shirt just makes you a stereotype


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353423
text:
  <[]OTB[]Orange> apparently girls gone wild "just got wilder"
  <ninex-knp> ?
  <[]OTB[]Orange> i don't know about you, but i certainly don't
  want to see willy wonka bare his breasts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910982
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353480
text:
  <berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
  <berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
  <merkaba> thats pretty good berz
  <berzerk0r> i like it
  <MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910983
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353526
text:
  <boozie> AnIonU: if i washed my dick would you suck it?
  <AnIonU> bbozie: if you washed your dick you would realize
  that it was only dirt...no dick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910983
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353584
text:
  <spree> i wish i had a southern accent
  <shy> gday mate
  <videogameaholic> not that southern
  <shy> hola amigo
  <videogameaholic> getting closer
  <shy> howdy yall
  <videogameaholic> close enough


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910984
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353686
text:
  <wokness|homework> Without the powers of Vi ---> (Me: "Cute
  girl with you go out with me?" Her: "No.")
  <wokness|homework> With the powers of Vi ---> (Me: Cute girl
  will you go out with me?!" Her: "Yes.")


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910984
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353740
text:
  <flee> fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to
  <flee> suffering, suffering leads to ice cream.
  <mrg> mmmm, ice cream
  <6> ice cream leads to fat, fat leads to jazzercise,
  jazzercise
  <6> leads to SUFFERING
  <mrg> yay the cycle of ice cream is complete!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910984
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353852
text:
  <_cliCk_> any boddy here???
  <shaan> no
  <_cliCk_> are u sure?
  <shaan> yes
  <shaan> quite
  <_cliCk_> i will not!!!!
  <shaan> will not what
  <_cliCk_> be quite


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910985
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.353930
text:
  <Allahkat> My wedding registry.
  <Allahkat> http://shop.hbc.com/giftregistry/
  <asshat> I know this is going to read stupid
  <asshat> but why do you register
  <asshat> to have people by you stuff??
  <sueb[work> so people know what kind of gifts you want
  <unchellmatt> To get swag, buddy!
  <Allahkat> You register so people can buy you stuff that you
  picked out for your house.
  <asshat> like an amazon wish list.
  <unchellmatt> You get gifties!
  <Allahkat> So you don't end up with ugly shit.
  <asshat> ahh, I see.
  <unchellmatt> That's going to happen anyway.
  <Albatross> and so you don't get 20 food processors
  <aeonite> You can do a lot of things with 20 food processors
  <Allahkat> And 50 babies.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910985
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354071
text:
  <ding0> ahahahahaahahahahah i was just taking a huge piss and
  my mom says from behind me "wow jack! your getting big", i was
  like, OH MY GOD wtf, and then i finished and turned around and
  she was looking at the size on my shoes, whew!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354164
text:
  * Drago needs a fake ID :/
  <Drago> I'm sick of being turned away from bars and shit.
  <Fentom> -{Drago}- if you can look like a 50 year old obese
  caribbean woman, I have just the thing for you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354215
text:
  <TheVirus> So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She
  dropped
  by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of
  brownies and a video
  tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so
  I start eating
  the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through
  it, it cuts to
  her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth,
  she looks at the
  camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the
  brownies" - and spits
  the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.
  <alexandr-> you didn't keep eating the brownies did you?
  <TheVirus> sure did
  <TheVirus> i was hungry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910986
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354266
text:
  <stutz> I hear you call your dick Godzilla
  <mltj> yeah.
  <stutz> Is that because its green and smells of fish?
  <jamey> no, it's because it doesn't really exist


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910987
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354321
text:
  <Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00
  to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
  <Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to
  go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and
  we'll be home some time after midnight."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910987
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354432
text:
  <Joby-> so i moved into this new neighborhood right
  <Joby-> and like
  <Joby-> i rode my bike right
  <Joby-> and i saw these 2 hot girls
  <Joby-> and they saw me and they waved at me
  <Joby-> but then i crashed into a parked car :<
  <Mkoll> Real ladies man, arn't you?
  <Joby-> yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354478
text:
  <cYner> you know, some times, I get all head fuct and then I
  type something and forget to hit enter, then after about 5 min
  it's not even part of the conversation anymore, then I just
  clear the line and all is well.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354536
text:
  <BlazeHedgehog> Cripes. ANYTHING is innuendo nowadays
  <BlazeHedgehog> "I had a glass of milk." "WHOA GOOD JOB, HOW
  WAS SHE?"
  <BlazeHedgehog> "No. I mean, I poured milk into a glass and
  drank it." "You sure did!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354594
text:
  << Now chatting in #finalfight
  >>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
  >>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
  >>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
  [Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.910988
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.354650
text:
  <revmoo> well
  <revmoo> msg nexis
  <revmoo> maybe he is one of those nerds that has his shit set
  to wake him up in the middle of the night if someone pm's him
  :P
  <Geoff-> LOL
  <Geoff-> hey
  <Geoff-> i used to have that


