# quote

date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907445
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720599
text:
  <LeX|NgToN> i got a blister on the inside of my hand =/
  <Vagabonde> haha, from wacking off?
  <LeX|NgToN> Y DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907445
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720650
text:
  <skmt> DigDug, if you install a beaded seat cover, the value
  of your car will skyrocket
  <SD_Washu> nah
  <SD_Washu> all you have to do
  <SD_Washu> is keep a big ol brick of heroin in the trunk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907446
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720747
text:
  (+shadebug) so, I just spent half an hour getting a latino
  radio station to work on my computer
  (+shadebug) you know, to keep abreast of the latino music
  scene
  (+shadebug) finally get it working
  (+shadebug) they're playing coldplay


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907446
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720799
text:
  <the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's
  little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth
  it. I think they just included that as a joke.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907446
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720852
text:
  <wormy98> naw, its one of the new plasma screens
  <beretta> plasma? isnt that the stuff that the caves in alaska
  shoot out?
  <wormy98> no. that's lava, volcanoes, and hawaii.
  <EDMundane> beretta: is there any limit to your stupidity?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907447
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720909
text:
  <chickenpotpie> i'm gunna make a porn rpg
  <Spoon> what would happen when you leveled up?
  <chickenpotpie> you'd get a better sex toy
  <BlackRaven> Chrisetn...  Amarthdae..  Kardelian.. Erandir...
  and Zelendrile all go off and have fun in that cave that they
  were in before they went to the castle on the shore..
  <Spoon> Ass_Master leveled up!  Ass_Master learned [Doggie
  Style]!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907447
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.720960
text:
  <bytraper> sheesh... I crashed the last company car I had :/
  <bytraper> I pulled the sun visor down and a spider with 15
  legs dropped from it
  <girlie-> 15 legs.. lol
  <Dark_un> thats almost 2 spiders


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907447
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721014
text:
  <Fubar> Reminds me in class, when some teacher was going off
  on us about feminazi shit, she goes "A woman can do anything a
  man can!" and my friends goes "well you can't produce sperm!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721110
text:
  (caraKATT): great, i found ready whip in the fridge and I
  wanted to put it in my coffee, but I think my roomate huffed
  it, cause it won't foam


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721160
text:
  <Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if
  somebody can help me with it..
  <mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting
  through the spinal cord.  That will allow you more opportunity
  to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721220
text:
  <@dR¦> gn
  <@AN¦FunG> nn
  <@dR¦> nn ?
  <@AN¦FunG> night night
  <@dR¦> my granny used to say that
  <@dR¦> are u 86 with blue hair ?
  <@dR¦> :P
  <@AN¦FunG> well, you are what you eat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721266
text:
  * emil is now known as Thalos
  * Thalos is now known as thal0s
  * thal0s is now known as Thalos
  * Thalos is now known as emil
  <n00bish> *** emil is now known as SOMEONEWHOCANTDECIDEONANAME


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721313
text:
  <_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is
  sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female
  friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
  <BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721371
text:
  <Delanushorse> Dude, I was eating a chocolate bar in my
  kitchen the other day,
  when my mom walks in
  <Delanushorse> I was like "it's like an orgasm in my mouth"
  and my mom says "oh, believe
  me, you DON'T want to know what that tastes like".
  <Delanushorse> I guess she realized what she said, because she
  walked out really quickly.
  <Delanushorse> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721432
text:
  * sAh got rearended on his way to work today
  < soybean> how
  < sAh> the girl's car skidded
  < sAh> minor damage to my bumper
  < sAh> i could care less
  < soybean> but the most important question
  < soybean> WAS SHE CUTE
  < sAh> easiest phone number i ever got


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907450
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721474
text:
  Drahmen: I unbutton your blouse and start to massage your
  brest.
  Higgs23: I moan and start to undo your pants.
  Drahmen: Wait a minute...This is the wrong window.
  Higgs23: I noticed.
  Drahmen: WTF dude?
  Higgs23: I felt like playing along.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907450
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721520
text:
  <kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got
  asked to answer the white courtesy phone?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907450
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721562
text:
  Merimack05: like, how far away are you from st. louis?
  flynmonkeysattac: dunnu.  i live south of st. louis.  about a
  15 minute drive from st. louis
  Merimack05: ok, your loser
  Merimack05: *closer
  flynmonkeysattac: are u sure that was a typo?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721668
text:
  <Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
  <Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally
  dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
  <Denium> wow
  <Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
  <Denium> at most
  <Cassy> a SHOW
  <Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  <Cassy> you know ....play music!?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721718
text:
  [Decept404] i like smiling brightly, shaking a girl's hand
  going "hi, i enjoy misogynistic violent sex acts!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721764
text:
  Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution
  jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's
  unstable at room temperature.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907452
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.721898
text:
  <Worm|PHP> I downloaded a ton of albums .. all encoded in 128
  ... later I will reencode to 192
  <Worm|PHP> bunch of AC/DC albums :)
  <clue1ess> reencode? :P
  <Worm|PHP> decode then encode again at 192
  <clue1ess> will the quality really improve?
  <Worm|PHP> yes it does
  <CDBuRnOuT> If anything, you lose quality.
  <Worm|PHP> I have done it before many times
  <Worm|PHP> I can send samples if you want
  <Worm|PHP> I have the same song at 128 .. decoded it .. then
  encoded it at 192 ... there is a big difference
  <CDBuRnOuT> You're attempting to defeat the basis of the
  format you're encoding in by trusting your ears. Lower
  bitrates sacrifice pitches, etc. to lower the mp3's size,
  decoding and reencoding will not get those sacrificed items
  back.
  <CDBuRnOuT> lots of people cannot tell the difference between
  128/160/192, etc.
  <Worm|PHP> you can with this ... just check it then see
  <Worm|PHP> by what you say there shouldn't be a difference ..
  and if there is .. then it would sound worse
  <Worm|PHP> oh well .. sounds a 100% sharper and clearer .. the
  128 sounds so muffled ... back to designing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722103
text:
  <Anime-Sama> While most people ask themselves "WWJD" (What
  Would Jesus Do), I've decided to turn to the more appropriate
  "WTGML," which is an acronym for "Will This Get Me Laid."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722167
text:
  <TMT> I have my gf keep me warm in the winter. ^_^
  <Y|yukichigai> Sigh.... all I have are cats
  <prophecy> all I have is a tiger blanket -.-
  <TMT> crazy cat person! Run!
  <TMT> jk
  <prophecy> =p
  <prophecy> truth be told, I am a furry. *hides, expecting to
  be lynched*
  <Y|yukichigai> I'm a furry too.  It's just that most people
  don't find it attractive when you keep getting your velcro
  watchband caught on your ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722234
text:
  <Number-6> there's this raging homophobe fundiechristian who
  runs this hate organization in Michigan named Gary Glenn
  <Number-6> he runs the American Family Association of Michigan
  out of his basement
  <Number-6> and checks Google News every day for his name
  <Number-6> because he's a totaly narcissist
  <Number-6> anyway
  <Number-6> i bait him now and then because my headlines are
  carried by google news
  <Number-6> and he turns up and starts posting comments on my
  web site
  <Number-6> so then i get his IP address
  <Number-6> and start redirecting him to tubgirl.com
  <Number-6> nothing makes me happier than making that pigfucker
  look at feces


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907454
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722300
text:
  <Death_Blade> <FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from
  Sweden
  <Death_Blade> <sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast
  asia
  <Death_Blade> <DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west
  virginia
  <@Cockroach-> lol
  <@Nazerath> <Nazerath> Pardon my Joint, I'm from South Eastern
  Kentucky. ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907454
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722350
text:
  < Vice> if paris hilton came and wanted sex.. i think i just
  might have
  to concede..
  < Vice> cos you never know
  < Vice> she might have one of those "the millionth customer
  gets a special prize" campaigne going on..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907455
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722486
text:
  <ArianaK> I want my money back.
  <ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats
  supposed to help your memory


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907455
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722534
text:
  arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear
  thongs becuase your boy likes them.
  arabella: it's advertising.
  firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907456
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722637
text:
  (kitten) One time, a friend and I were attempting to install a
  CD burner in his machine.
  (kitten) The intstructions were translated from Japanese to
  English - not too bad a job, either.
  (kitten) However, occasionally, they will come across a word
  that simply does not translate, so they will use the phoenetic
  Japanese.
  (kitten) So we wound up with, you click here, you run this,
  you do that, ho-shin-kai, you remove the disk..
  (kitten) Took it to a friend's father who speaks passable
  Japanese - he said "I think it means something like, 'to
  breathe the mystic spirit of the dark dragon'."
  (kitten) What that has to do with CD burners, I couldn't tell
  you.
  (kitten) But anyway.
  (kitten) I believe that 'zig' is akin to this phenomenon.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907456
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722778
text:
  <les_savy_fav> all i know is mr.Ed was really a mr, because he
  went on to have a distinguished career as a porno actor in
  denmark


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907457
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722820
text:
  (PJ) grrr
  (PJ) a car alarm is going off
  (PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
  (PJ) fuck
  (PJ) its our car


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907457
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722928
text:
  <NewSonCometh> my sister found 50 bucks today
  <NewSonCometh> then the person who dropped it asked her if she
  found it
  <NewSonCometh> with the clenched 50 sticking out of her hand,
  she said "Nope, I don't have any cash at all"
  <NewSonCometh> then the lady just walked away
  <NewSonCometh> I wish more people with an abundance of 50's
  were that stupid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.722971
text:
  xxx : My grandpa knew exactly the day he gonna die :/
  yyy : wtf... its impossible. Was it a magician who told him
  that ?
  xxx : Lol :) no, it was judge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723024
text:
  <maiden> the wife is going to acupuncture to help us get
  pregnant...$65 a week
  <knightmare> I'd think if she needed little pricks to get
  pregnant you would've gotten the job done months ago


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723075
text:
  <Rann-chan> I just want to run screaming into the night.
  <ThePlaya> Do so
  <Rann-chan> It's not dark yet.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723125
text:
  * punxy has joined #emo
  <punxy> hi all
  <_John> hi
  <_John> do you have a vagina?
  * punxy has quit IRC (Read error: No route to host)
  <_John> asking people if they have a vagina is a new h4x0ring
  technique to crash people boxes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723181
text:
  <PooJou> very very wrong
  <milenko> btw, how did goatse start?
  <Rainwulf> i think the only pic that ever really made me feel
  funny was that pic of the guy whose cock was split down the
  middle
  <Rainwulf> that was..... not good
  <Rainwulf> i mean wow, that must of hurt. fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723234
text:
  * Joins: the-craft
  * ChanServ sets mode: +v the-craft
  <the-craft> thank you chanserv:-)
  <the-craft> chanserv where are you from
  <the-craft> hello
  <the-craft> ?
  * Parts: the-craft


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723296
text:
  <Hatter> I know it's up for me!
  <Hatter> take it etherman!~
  <notgoth> if you steal my sunshine!
  <Hatter> I SAID etherman
  * notgoth steals etherman's sunshine :D
  <EtherMan> :(
  * EtherMan no sunshine
  <notgoth> fine, you can have it back :D
  * EtherMan sunshine!
  <Hatter> Alright, now that's just gay.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907460
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723370
text:
  <disgrunt> New "Britney"'s born in the US every year:  1,483.
  <disgrunt> New "Dick Tease"'s born in the US every year:  3.
  <disgrunt> That's the funniest shit I've ever seen.
  <disgrunt> How would you like to be named Dick Tease?
  <fade_> haha
  <fade_> well, britney sure is a dick tease
  <cout> disgrunt: I'd go by "Richard"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907460
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723430
text:
  <rob`> o/` Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the
  Lord o/`
  <JakeStone> rob:  Religious pr0n?
  ð Kaijin can't come up with a next verse that s pronlike and
  scans.
  <JakeStone> o/~ He was hammering the women hard and now they
  are quite sore o/~
  ð Alaric can't remember enough of the Battle Hymn of the
  Republic to filk it
  <rob`> o/` he hath loosed the fateful lightning of his
  terrible swift sword o/`
  <rob`> I think the lyrics filk themselves. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907460
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723475
text:
  WallJam7: roses are red
  WallJam7: violets are blue
  WallJam7: all of my base
  WallJam7: are belong to you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723574
text:
  <Deek`> I got a GED
  <Deek`> I got 2 pts away from a perfect score
  <Rick> I almost got one.
  <Deek`> Did you fail it? Are you a hillbilly?
  <Rick> No.
  <Rick> I got a real highschool diploma.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723623
text:
  <dan-o2> hay dudes my gf broke up with me I dont know why
  <dan-o2> I just slapped her with my cock


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723674
text:
  <Woody> some guys can last longer than 5 seconds mendy :p
  <Mendez> I wouldn't know - I've never had a guy give me a
  blowjob.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907464
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723723
text:
  <brucet> i pay for my internet access - i pay you to HELP me
  .. so someone better start to tell me how to do it or i'm
  going to complain about you to my ISP
  <brucet> HAHA - you wont call me a lamer when u get sacked by
  the ISP - i have just wrote an e-mail to them now explaining
  that you wont help!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907464
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723787
text:
  < CryptoCat> fucking oracle.
  < CryptoCat> rhymes with horrible
  < CryptoCat> I probably wouldnt hate it so much if Elison
  wasnt such a nutjob.
  < siglite> well, at least HE hates bill
  < siglite> so that's some consolation
  < CryptoCat> I dunno man
  < CryptoCat> stalin hated hitler
  < Kornchild> stalin was worse then hitler in many ways
  < CryptoCat> yeah
  < CryptoCat> hitler didnt want to buy Peoplesoft.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907465
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723888
text:
  * @PsykoDave eats his King Sized Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle
  <@GregTG> Wow dave.
  <@GregTG> That's a long way to go for a synonym of "cock"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907465
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723941
text:
  FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship
  with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what
  one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just
  that someone who's very confusing at times.
  SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907465
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.723991
text:
  gnabtuls: Ok, so I take this gay Children's Theater class,
  right?
  ch405kn16h7: mhm
  gnabtuls: and we have this one Jewish girl in there.
  gnabtuls: So, one of the groups is doing "The Stinky Cheese
  Man"
  gnabtuls: and she's playing The Stinky Cheese Man
  gnabtuls: and the very first thing to happen in that play is
  they bake the stinky cheese man
  gnabtuls: ala the one jew in my class gets put in an oven and
  baked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724044
text:
  *** Now talking in #christian
  -Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot.
  For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
  <Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
  <Word_of_God>  Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the
  morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of
  Moab. -  (KJV)
  *** SageRider sets mode: +b *!
  *@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
  *** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider
  (Please dont Swear)
  <Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in
  this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see
  that...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724101
text:
  <mrfun> speaking of max, i boned a duck
  <hamumu> are you sure you're speaking of max?
  <mrfun> took most of yesterday to bone and do two anims, geez
  <mrfun> but he's limping around in torque
  <hamumu> this is sounding worse every sentence


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724145
text:
  (Jeopardy) hi I need someone to help me with compiling a small
  program
  (dgc) Jeopardy: What is gcc?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724191
text:
  <SEXY_TEEN_GUY> aN¥ MeLß GiRLS 12-16 WaNNa CHaT To Gu¥ WHo iS
  SiCK oF SPeaKiNG To GiRLS THaT LoVe THeMSLeVeS, GiVe ouT FaKe
  NuMßeRS aNÐ aRe ÐiSHoNeST iF THaTS NoT THeN MSG Me NoW We CaN
  MeeT uP aNÐ Go SHoPPiNG 2MoRooW


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907467
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724245
text:
  Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
  Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
  BLUeTalon24: ok
  BLUeTalon24: hurry back
  Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
  BLUeTalon24: wb!
  Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
  BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
  Rain Complex: Thank you
  Rain Complex: Yes
  Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
  Rain Complex: They have computers!
  BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
  Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
  BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
  Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
  Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast
  forward 24/7
  BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
  Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
  Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of
  fire and sulfur
  Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
  BLUeTalon24: hahaha
  Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
  Rain Complex: And tape-drives
  Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
  BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice
  with no scroll wheel.
  Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my
  friend


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907467
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724292
text:
  «TiGryphon» ...but there's nothing quite as priceless as the
  look on a teenage cashier's face as she rings up wine, cheese,
  bread, and chats aimiably with you, and then rings up a
  cucumber, and a box of condoms and gets suddenly quiet...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724444
text:
  <Maggie> Rune
  <Rune> ?
  <Maggie> why are all men chauvinistic pigs?
  <Rune> because we're better than you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724497
text:
  <JesusGink> ;D
  <JesusGink> er
  <JesusGink> :D
  <JesusGink> hard to take off bra and hit shift-; at the same
  time
  <tabbyfoo> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724548
text:
  <suebatwork> How about "want to come to my apt. to smoke a j?"
  think that will work for a pickup line
  <grivas> really good if your name is "j"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724594
text:
  <Scummder> well thats great. I get to spend about 5 minutes
  playing gamecube before my mother appears from nowhere and
  tells me to do more mowing.
  <bile> think of your mother as an endboss and destroy her.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724699
text:
  <Darksyde> dood you make texas look like a big dildo
  <blazemore> i'd rather be a big dildo than a small dildo
  <blazemore> especially the kind the secretes fake jizz that
  tastes like oranges
  <Geek-> lol
  <Geek-> how would you know about that shit?
  * blazemore is away


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907470
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724798
text:
  DeathDread26: Ever consider lifting a lawnmower up and using
  it like a weapon against a horde of people?
  NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: no
  DeathDread26: oh
  DeathDread26: so... i am the only one?
  NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: lol i guess
  DeathDread26: damn.  know any good psychologists?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907470
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724853
text:
  <DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
  <DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to
  put one in the head
  <jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
  <Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
  <jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907470
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.724934
text:
  <MadClown> i have your soul
  <fall0ut> no, some pine tree had my soul one night
  <fall0ut> when I was drunk
  <fall0ut> I chopped it down and dragged it through a field for
  2 hours
  <fall0ut> and got my soul back
  <fall0ut> kthnx
  <fall0ut> ^-- true story
  <MadClown> for some strange reason, i beleive you
  <eclypse> yea.. i can honestly say i dont doubt this
  <fall0ut> nothing like an axe in one hand
  <fall0ut> a beer in another
  <fall0ut> screaming at the tree
  <fall0ut> "FUCK YOU TREE, I'M GONNA GET M YSOUL BACK"
  <fall0ut> then tying a logging chain to it and dragging it
  around a field
  <fall0ut> ....
  <fall0ut> yea.....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725029
text:
  <AL9000> I think it would be funny to bust up into somewhere
  wearing a trenchcoat and start shooting people with a brightly
  colored Super Soaker, and then after the intitial shock is
  over and people are laughing or getting pissed off, you pull
  out a real gun and start taking them down
  <AL9000> But that's just me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725078
text:
  Alter Legiones: i need a job. don't supose you'd pay me to
  build you a computer? ^_^
  Burning Broly: lol,if i can pay you with 11-14 year old
  prostitutes
  Alter Legiones: hmm...
  Alter Legiones: i think we can work something out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725125
text:
  <Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> My wife demanded I take her out some
  place expensive
  <Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> I took her to a gas station


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907472
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725183
text:
  <chin|werk> msimn can kiss my fucking bloody ass
  <chin|werk> outlook express is a little fucking drama queen
  <chin|werk> "OOoOHHHH, YOU UPGRADED TO IE 6"
  <chin|werk> "WELL IM NOT GONNA WORK ANYMORE"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907472
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725230
text:
  <sat985> u know how to overlock the chip defcon?
  <Bouyo> Put your processor into mineral oil and you can
  overclock a 300 Mhz to 1.5 Ghz ( This has been done )


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907472
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725276
text:
  <undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very
  inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all
  retards can achieve the impossible :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907473
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725326
text:
  <Kyle> So you're going to be responsible for 65 Windows 2000
  Desktops *WITHOUT* a Windows 2000 Domain.
  <Kyle> Run for the hills, boy.
  <Kyle> Run for the fucking hills.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907473
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725374
text:
  James: I have a problem.  My iTunes can't find any of the
  files...
  Paul: Double click on the songs and click find
  Paul: then find where they are
  James: one problem
  James: i don't know where they are
  Paul: well, it looks like you and iTunes have something in
  common


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907473
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725424
text:
  <Alty> i say burn bill gates at the stake and all will be well
  <Ron[afk]> :)
  <Esper> yay! fire solves everything!
  <Ron[afk]> Except for fires.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907473
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725469
text:
  ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
  blx001: you mean snickers
  ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
  blx001: no you mean snikers
  SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725510
text:
  jenziie: i have no comment.. my mom is italian my stepdad is
  indonesian, so its like epcot center at their house


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725566
text:
  <Dann> this is so sad...
  <Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on
  limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first
  search result is?
  <Dann> the 40 year old virgin


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725611
text:
  <shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp
  and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725668
text:
  <AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
  <SForce> that sounds promising
  <AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part
  of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
  <SForce> unfortunate
  <SForce> makes me want to stand up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725712
text:
  ::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com);
  to get over someone old, get under someone new


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725770
text:
  <acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and
  cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have
  to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =)
  <leile> hahaha.
  <leile> its like food-origami.
  <acaos> my thought exactly =)
  <acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang
  and the bread-fu now.
  <acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do.
  <leile> hahaha
  <leile> HAHAHAHA.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725837
text:
  <Mango> Haha, I went to the bathroom, came out, and ripped off
  a piece of sweet bread that was on the table and my dad says
  "What the hell are you doing? Did you wash your hands?"
  <Mango> I said "no, but I didnt piss on my hands so dont
  worry"
  <Mango> "doesnt matter" he says "your hands were still all
  over your dick"
  <Mango> "Who cares? My dick, along with my entire body, came
  out of YOUR dick"
  <Mango> So now we can't look eachother in the eyes anymore.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907476
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.725930
text:
  <nwinter> i think i could've made a better spreadsheet with
  graph paper
  and a crayon.
  <hep>  hahaha
  <nwinter> i had to put an audit i did into a spreadsheet
  because
  apparently my boss doesn't like documents in the UNIVERSALLY
  READABLE
  format known as ASCII.
  <nwinter> he will soon receive my weekly status report as an
  attachment
  named "micromanagement.txt"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907477
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726035
text:
  <Phylitsa> I think i found out how to get back on the forum!
  :D
  <Phylitsa> I need to delete something called "my cookies"
  <Phylitsa> unless the guy was making a perverted joke


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907477
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726130
text:
  <PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves
  <PaNTs0r> honest to god
  <PaNTs0r> what is the point
  <PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M
  DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907477
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726175
text:
  <Kerrija> On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you
  are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches
  away.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907478
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726225
text:
  <DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex
  if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
  <DJTodd> She's a real brain.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726366
text:
  <SA-Thrillias> Watching porn is... different on 1600x1200.
  <SA-NiteFox> You'll go blind.  Really.  With all the
  squinting.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726470
text:
  <Numi> I was having trouble getting screen dumps in unix so I
  went into #unix and said
  <Numi> "Does anyone know how to do a screen dump in unix?"
  <Numi> 5 minutes and no reply, so I modify it a bit
  <Numi> "Two hot girls are stripping on webcam for me, how do i
  take a picture to show you guys?"
  <Numi> 13 offers of assistance within 2 minutes. Brilliant.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726511
text:
  [McMoo] wow
  [McMoo] public radio is playing charles mingus
  [thinkmad] as opposed to private radio
  [McMoo] yes
  [Guilty] Xite was trying to be witty there
  [Guilty] But he failed
  [McMoo] but he failed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726615
text:
  <Conflict> my girlfriend tattooed this guy's dick last week
  and when i came home i was like "how'd the tattoo go?" and she
  goes "fine, except that I needed both hands so I had to hold
  his cock in my mouth." i was like "thats ni-you whaaa?!??"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726660
text:
  (DownKaos): W0lfy's idea of taking a girl out is fucking her
  then deflating her
  (W0lfy): u following me?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726706
text:
  <supers> one of the tv guide cross word makers died
  <supers> i guess they barried him 6 down and 6 across


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726756
text:
  <Arkaine> i had to call this girl last night and make sure she
  wasnt pregnant
  <Arkaine> THINGS I DONT LIKE DOING
  <Arkaine> CALLING GIRLS AND MAKING SURE THEY ARENT CARRYING MY
  KID


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907481
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726800
text:
  <Jagged> -t is like giving a bunch of small children loaded
  handguns and telling each of them that the other ones all
  stole his christmas pressies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907481
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726930
text:
  *** Now talking in #blackpride
  <Rosen> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as equals
  <@Ph43rDnky> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as
  superiors
  <Jaayy> In a perfect world, you wouldn't even exist!  Whadya
  say to that?
  <@Ph43rDnky> that's not a very appropriate comment for a black
  pride channel
  <Rosen> shut up jaay you fag
  <Jaayy> Oh, you mean this is a channel for proud black people?
  I thought it was for white people who are proud of their
  slaves
  <@Ph43rDnky> Jaayy, stop now or I'll ban you.
  <Jaayy> Alright fine... anybody play warcraft 3?
  <Therman> I do
  <Jaayy> Want to join a clan?
  <Therman> Sure, what's it called?
  <Jaayy> K-hadgar's
  <Jaayy> K-razy
  <Jaayy> K-illers.
  *** You were kicked by Ph43rDnky (bastard)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.726972
text:
  marek: hey, this is great. we finally have our own chatroom on
  irc.
  marek: now we can be on bash with our amazingly witty retorts,
  counter retorts, and general repartee!
  Palladia: fag


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727024
text:
  <Pedingto> I find this job can be real hell at times.
  <Pedingto> When this UBER-FIT woman came in
  <Pedingto> and purchased many packs of condoms.
  <Pedingto> I so wanted to ask her if she heard our try before
  you buy policy >:)
  <Etheria_Dawn> LOL!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727081
text:
  <Taz> my FTO could top your mates prelude man no worries
  <iPRoTiuS> lol are u sure? its 210hp man
  <Taz> really? a prelude can do that?
  <iPRoTiuS> err, yea
  <Taz> bullshit wot year is it?
  <iPRoTiuS> 88
  <Taz> 1988?
  <iPRoTiuS> no u retard. 1888. it literally has 210 hourses
  pulling it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727139
text:
  <Goose-dz> what you should do is bury half of your money in
  the back yard
  <D3StRuCT> wait a minute
  <D3StRuCT> i remember something like this in the bible, i was
  actually awake on this one
  <D3StRuCT> didnt that guy get called a dumb ass bitch?
  <Goose-dz> they used the phrase dumb ass bitch in the bible?
  <D3StRuCT> well no
  <Goose-dz> must be the new testament
  <D3StRuCT> it was much more complex and condescending


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727187
text:
  <Tirlas> I remember the dream vividly... I don't know how to
  express it :-(
  <Schroe> My suggestion is to use words and phrases in English
  grammatical structure.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727247
text:
  <Jared> HI Alpha!!!!OMFG ITS S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU....HOW
  WAS YOUR DAY???
  <AlphaLemming> I'm frightened.
  <Jared> what. im being 'chipper'
  <AlphaLemming> no, you're being psychotic
  <AlphaLemming> it's a slightly different font


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727309
text:
  <@dev> I just shit out a "family" of logs.
  <@dev> There were two huge ones.. 2 smaller ones. and a tiny
  one.
  <@dev> And then I killed them when I flushed!
  <@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> lol
  <@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> was the tiny one the dog
  <@dev> It might have been a baby.
  <@r3v|DeathZero> did you poke it.. maybe it was a fetus
  <@dev> I left it alone.
  <@dev> :o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907484
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727354
text:
  phusnikin> that sucked. compiled my executable into my src and
  i have no
  backup, damm bash tab completion :\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907484
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727457
text:
  <Miff`NickHunting> Have tragically nasty news
  <Miff`NickHunting> Bath Bird, for those who dont know the
  people directly below me built a bathroom on the outside of
  their house and have a skylight allowing v. clear view of
  their bathroom antics, has changed
  <Miff`NickHunting> Shes gone from being slightly ok to this
  new person
  <Miff`NickHunting> Who I can only describe as..large


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907484
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727504
text:
  ! @Snuffy wonders why jiesal doesnt take the 20mins needed to
  learn irc
  ( jiesal ) because i'm a girl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727559
text:
  <hypr> 0h shit ash
  <hypr> yer roommate is offened by women?
  <hypr> haw he am gay
  <hypr> j00 have sex wit em?
  <hypr> ash dat page am mad sl0w
  <Ash> Yah.
  <brazemore> hypr was taught defunct english as a child.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727607
text:
  <MonsieurEvil> Jedisar, what have I told you about using that
  steam-powered Commodore 64 for playing NS?
  <MonsieurEvil> OMG I NEED MORE W00D CHIPZ0R!!!!!
  <MonsieurEvil> D00DZ MORE CO4L FOR MEH PUT3R!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727662
text:
  <CrazyLich> GET IN MAH PANTS
  <_Mantis_> ok
  <_Mantis_> but get out of my parking spot
  <_Mantis_> I dont care if its "your corner"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907486
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727759
text:
  <Vile-> i need to take a shit
  <Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
  <Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
  <Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
  <Vile-> and be like wtf


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907486
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727806
text:
  1:35a (mdxi) twenty-three hours of logs for this month and
  already 9 searches for "legolas porn" and 2 for, even more
  disturbingly, "gimli porn"
  1:35a (mdxi) some days i think we should all just go back to
  fidonet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907486
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727864
text:
  <Mikachu> haha, i misread a japanese word i wanted to look up
  <Mikachu> it was kansha, meaning "thanks, gratitude"
  <Mikachu> but i wrote in gansha in the dictionary program
  <Mikachu> "ejaculation onto partner's face"
  <Mikachu> that is a mispronunciation i will be careful to
  avoid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727912
text:
  * Nark thinks about sniffing some girls coochie to get high
  <Nark> bahaha that would kick ass, 'let me get a 50c rock of
  booty'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.727960
text:
  <WhitePony> whats the fastest way to loose 20 kg? except going
  to the docs........
  <Mousey-brb> cut your fucking head off Marina.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728011
text:
  <Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google
  turns up my own page at the top of the list.
  <Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go
  looking for stuff.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728055
text:
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of
  mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907489
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728109
text:
  <Cytoplasm[BLS]> #include <iostream.h>
  <Cytoplasm[BLS]> void main(void) { float i = 0; while(true)
  {cout << i; i+=1; }
  <reptile0> umm congrats on your programming accomplishment
  Cytoplasm[BLS]. John Carmack better watch out!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907489
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728159
text:
  <Pedlya> So I got this really big usb drive, and me and my dad
  are trying to put shit on it.
  *Simpe has entered #cancelled
  <Pedlya> my dad said its too big, and I guess it was
  <Pedlya> so my mom comes in and is trying to push it in...it
  still didnt go in
  <Pedlya> my brother uses his and it fits fine, so we just use
  his
  * Simpe has quit IRC (I dont want to know dude... )


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907490
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728263
text:
  <B-Love>:  Where the fuck did all the forks go?
  <Fect>:  I ate them.
  <B-Love>:  Why the fuck did you eat a fork?
  <Fect>: What, you've never had the urge to eat plastic-ware?
  <B-Love>:  YES, BUT I DON'T EAT THE LAST ONE!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907490
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728315
text:
  Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great.
  Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no
  financial trouble
  Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and
  high fi stero systems
  Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make
  a good profit from
  Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the
  lovely woman of my dreams...
  Vfirthd: yeah...someday...
  GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you?
  Vfirthd: Burger King


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907490
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728359
text:
  Bezoar    of all the liver disorders one could get, hep A is
  pretty good. you get it, you feel like shit for a little
  while, it goes away, and you're immune for life.
  eval      sounds like religion


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907491
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728454
text:
  <aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his
  or her penis caught in a gear
  <raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort
  of worked.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907491
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728502
text:
  (dosdemon)  I'm downloading something called "vagina vacum
  pump in action"
  (CautionIAmBoozer)  interesting
  (HSS-KUN)  Aww...they spoiled it by putting the plot in the
  title. I hate that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907492
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728592
text:
  <Lt Hawkins> someone from 127.0.0.1 keeps trying to hack me!
  <Podex> You should send them a virus to destroy their
  computer!!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728739
text:
  <JiggyNiggy> soul u ever been caught wanking behind the shed?
  <Soulfly-> no
  <JiggyNiggy> Good Spot isnt it :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728801
text:
  <SUMO> Yeah, your girlfriend is a slut.
  <Marlon_Strike> no she's not.
  <TIKKI-MAN_FAEZZ> sounds like it:P
  <Marlon_Strike> She simply has an odd sense of humor.
  * cloud|I-Saviour looks at Eld and nods
  * SUMO nods at Cloud as well.
  <Marlon_Strike> ....
  <Marlon_Strike> You guys suck...
  <Marlon_Strike> I never insult your girlfriends...
  <SUMO> We never have any.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.728913
text:
  <APingLDer> So how did it go with that cheerleader from down
  the street that wanted to seduce you?
  <naeblis15> Well, I was going to go along, but at the last
  minute, I had one of those 'Grinch' moments, when my heart
  went up past my level, and Satan's and Stalin's and Hitler's
  and a few more levels, to where it was something like normal,
  and I decided that I should wait until I could have a
  meaningful relationship, not just casual sex with someone
  infinitely more popular and beautiful than I am.
  <APingLDer>...
  <APingLDer>...
  <APingLDer>And where was your brain at this point?
  <naeblis15>I don't know, but when he gets back he is so
  fucking grounded


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907494
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729004
text:
  <Yogurt> Action Half-Life - "To counter Action Quake 2's speed
  and fun, we've included slow gameplay and the ability to fall
  down on purpose."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907494
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729049
text:
  <voidnull> Computers destroyed my life. Today when my mum told
  me to get up, I asked her for the password.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729100
text:
  <gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife
  and a computer?
  <gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729164
text:
  <ExT> Can you spell *CENCUR*
  <ExT> Or was it... SENSUR?
  <Clownie> not any more
  <ExT> maybe SENZUR?
  <ExT> ZENCUR?
  <ExT> Allright then
  <Lebowske> lol
  <Clownie> I'll just pick letters from a scrabble bag, I have
  more chance of being right than you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729211
text:
  <Thomas> if women think they arent meant to cook
  <Thomas> why do they have milk and eggs inside them?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729267
text:
  <Saber> ow damnit
  <Saber> HA
  <Saber> That'll teach you
  <Saber> damn gummy bears
  <c_thur> Saber: i can relate...i think


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729319
text:
  <Kash> I'd donate sperm to the helpless supermodels
  <Kash> THEY ARE STRAVING YOU KNOW
  <Kash> ..STARVING
  <Maugan> SPERM....Its whats for dinner


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729366
text:
  <Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and
  everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost
  always have a fully functioning digestive system.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729424
text:
  <TomRiddle> Nothing a couple of hands around her neck can't
  fix
  <Tine`> lol
  <Tine`> good luck
  <Tine`> I got knivs
  <Tine`> knjives
  <Tine`> knives
  <TomRiddle> Are you typing with them?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729474
text:
  <hobophobic> one of my biggest aims in life is to break a
  wog's cherry
  <hobophobic> cos that means i got there before her dirty wog
  dad did


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907497
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729584
text:
  <Mack_Salmon> do you ever listen to Meat Loaf?
  <Flirbnic> No.
  <Mack_Salmon> he's food....
  <Mack_Salmon> er!
  <Mack_Salmon> he's good
  <Mack_Salmon> whoops


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907497
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729639
text:
  <Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks?
  <Kaff> nah sharks
  <Mandi> same diff
  <jamesn> cocks with teef
  <Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907498
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729704
text:
  <`torm`> i like ur mom
  <Cyphatic> necrophiliac
  <`torm`> 0ipoi
  <`torm`> [ pjpi i\o
  <`torm`> [ppjp[
  <`torm`> sopjrry
  <`torm`> sorry
  <`torm`> i like ur sister
  <`torm`> i heard she is very hotz
  <Cyphatic> pedophile
  <`torm`> ophr


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907498
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729746
text:
  Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a
  graphics processor and a graphics accelerator??
  Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is
  like an artist....
  Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with
  a paintbrush...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907498
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729801
text:
  <ZhanDVG> Dammit
  <ZhanDVG> I kept glancing at the computer thinking that the
  channel was dead...
  <ZhanDVG> Then I realised I was looking at Notepad :(
  <DJ-Neo> ....
  <Ice_Dragon> wow.
  <Ice_Dragon> Zhan, I can safely say I don't think any of us
  are ever going to top that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907499
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729857
text:
  <SpunOne> To The Taliban:
  <SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to
  college.
  <nersh> To the US:
  <nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would
  not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store
  managers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907500
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.729997
text:
  <@Marc> However, I do have leather elbow-length gloves and
  knee high boots for general use.
  ...ten minutes of silence...
  * @Marc jots that down in "Ways to kill a conversation volume
  3"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907500
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730039
text:
  troupe: oh shit, i just heard a car crash outside
  cyateon: oh shit
  cyateon: go loot the corpses before they respawn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907501
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730276
text:
  splibob: I think we have a conflict of interest
  jenneh: what's that?
  splibob: me not being interested in talking to you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907501
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730328
text:
  <colins> Anyone got $50 to lend me, I'm thinking of taking
  over WorldCom
  <fallous> not anymore.  I just bought xerox for $27.95
  <colins> you got ripped
  <fallous> it included a new toner cartridge for my photocopier


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730384
text:
  * jamaisvu makes ^Bret^ give him head
  <^Bret^> again?
  <jamaisvu> I HAVE AN INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR HEAD
  <^Bret^> fuck....ok, I didn't have time to floss this morning.
  <^Bret^> unzip your pants, and I'l *try* not to laugh this
  time
  <jamaisvu> =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730436
text:
  <Jeeba> You sad sad men.
  <Jeeba> I took off of school today to watch the Two Towers'
  Special Features disc over and over.
  <Xylene> and you call us sad.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730488
text:
  <moira> community name should be unique over all categories,
  sucks
  <happy> you can't delete communities
  <moira> sure you can
  <moira> ask hitler


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730589
text:
  <pKx> My car was running without the battery installed.. man,
  the alternator was spilling amps all over my driveway
  <pKx> how do you clean that shit up?
  <`72`Monte> lol pkx :>
  <spazzer> i usually use a dirty sock
  <spazzer> oh
  <spazzer> wrong topic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730643
text:
  * Seph gives potatoe a *Super Tight And Really Super Erotic
  Groping Fondling Earth Shattering Sonic Boom Oh Gawd If You
  Stop I'll Kill You Better Than Heaven Yet Hotter Than Hell
  Watch Where Ya Stick Yer Hands Super Huge Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Oh
  Gawd Don't Ya Dare Stop Touching Me Huggeroonies And A Knees
  Are Shaking Earth Is Trembling My Heart Has Stop Beating
  Passionit Knees Shaking Lots A Goosebumps Was That The Ground
  Moving Passionate Wet Deep
  <Seph> um....
  <Seph> wrong one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730701
text:
  <Green> So my gf left me... I feel like a load of shit
  <vampireslaya> :(
  <death_man> Yeah there are these fuckers on IRC who keep
  shitting on about their damn lives... Fucking gay.
  <Green> ...
  <xxXpronXxx> What the hell?
  <death_man> Erm wrong window
  <xxXpronXxx> I see
  <vampireslaya7> Anything else you want to tell us, bitch?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907504
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730770
text:
  (This is before any form of invasion of Iraq occurs, if any)
  <Stonefish> I reckon the Bush vs Hussein knifefight they were
  talking about would be quite entertaining.
  <PuMbAaA_rx7> yeah
  <PuMbAaA_rx7> Hussein would kick ass
  <PuMbAaA_rx7> bush is a pussy
  <Stonefish> Don't discount his monk3y skillz
  <PuMbAaA_rx7> lol
  <Stonefish> you ever seen a pissed off monkey with a knife?
  <PuMbAaA_rx7> can't say I have
  <Stonefish> good point...
  <Stonefish> brb - monkey


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907504
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730900
text:
  <Mbwana> When i was 10 I was on a ferry and it was very windy
  out, so I decided to take an entire roll of toilet paper and
  see if I could let it all out into the wind and see if I could
  unroll the whole thing before it touched the water.
  <Mbwana> It was quite amusing.
  <Rialian> well? did you?
  <Mbwana> Yes
  <Rialian> hehehehe
  <Mbwana> It looked very neat
  <Qaulorn> you're easily amused too?
  <Sealom> How far did it get before it hit the water?
  <Mbwana> Of course I am, why do you think I'm on this channel?
  <Qaulorn> how did it not tear? did you get the super absorbant
  quilted kind?
  <Qaulorn> do you get the runs? share with us, we are here to
  help you
  <Mbwana> Once I had the entire roll unraveled. I would
  estimate that it flew in the wind for about 1 1/2 minutes or
  so
  <Qaulorn> was it patterned? or plain white?
  <Mbwana> It plain
  <Mbwana> Uh
  <Mbwana> Minus the it
  <Mbwana> People were awestruck at my amazing feat. People even
  videotaped it and took pictures of it.
  <Sealom> I accuse you of lying.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.730947
text:
  <+atseleon> like that girl in biology class, the teacher said
  that there is glucose in sperm, then the girl said, then how
  come it tastes so salty
  <@LillieCharlotte> smart gal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731001
text:
  <A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
  <DarthJesus> I dunno'
  <DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do
  anything for you
  <A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731042
text:
  * SexServ (BeerBaron@ZiRC-14FF1408.msns.sm.ptd.net) Quit
  (Killed (dj4aces (Impersonating services.)))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731147
text:
  <synthetic-> God simply does not want me to have any
  meaningful relationships
  <synthetic-> I'm up until 5:15 in the morning talking to a
  nice 18-year-old girl from Louisiana...
  <synthetic-> AND SHE'S MARRIED
  <synthetic-> even though I have no hope of ever meeting her,
  she's still unavailable


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907506
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731244
text:
  <Bleepy> hmm this isn't good... not good atall
  <Bleepy> i have an auto responder to my emails, and so does my
  friend i emailed, and umm it kept boucning, and now i have
  17041 emails (16000 of which cannot be displayed)
  <Daishi> that waas you!?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731302
text:
  <+mirkin> does anybody know if it is possible using ms access
  to create a report which shows the records of a table
  <+mirkin> but shows 3 columns across the page
  <+mirkin> i.e
  <+mirkin> record 1        record 2        record 3
  <+mirkin> record 4        record 5        record 6
  <+GoodScrat> That is impossible
  <+GoodScrat> Computers are not that far advanced yet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731355
text:
  * Avie|work tabs back in *
  <Avie|work> what are you _talking_ about?
  <ithil> I started with 22 as the lowest possible base, got
  210, added 9, noticed 219 was a factor of 3 (216 + 3), and
  realized it was going to stay that way. :P
  <Xrtsys> Wait.  The three rule breaks down in non-/10 bases.
  <DND> virgin girls are cool
  * PxM watches Avie tab back out
  <Avie|work> some people are talking about virgins, some people
  are talking about math, someone said something about God, and
  _I_ thought you were still talking about typology.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731457
text:
  <Communista> I'm going to hell.
  <Communista> I'm just a wicked person.
  <Communista> I was on lunch with the trainees and a news story
  came on about the showing (funeral) of a man that drowned...
  <Communista> and I turned to them and said "Wanna go see a
  dead body?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907508
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731556
text:
  <ShoeFlip6058>: I made this screenplay where a serial killer
  goes to random victims houses, goes into their bedrooms, and
  screams "DON'T WAKE UP" in their faces while they sleep. The
  wake up, see him, and they die of fright
  <ShoeFlip6058>: I would cast Christopher Walken as the killer
  <Claypeople>: Dude, if i saw christopher walken in person I'd
  die of fright
  <Jenova>: He's a scary mofo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907508
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731604
text:
  lemonlimeskull: One guy keeps following me from chat room to
  chat room begging to blow me because he found out I live about
  a half hour away.
  lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I
  posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass.
  lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them -
  same location at the same time.
  lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy
  will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more
  mellow.
  lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907509
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731652
text:
  <@FlatFace> dude, im fucked up. i got a cd case and i not only
  forgot what i was gonna get, but
  <@FlatFace> .....
  <@FlatFace> FUCK I FORGOT WHAT THE SECOND ONE WAS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907509
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731723
text:
  <sp4nk> I once knew this guy who kept a dream journal.
  <sp4nk> Some little spiral notebook he'd keep by his bed.
  <martyr> haha nice
  <sp4nk> I'd get waken up in the middle of the night and find
  him writing shit in it. At 3 AM.
  <sp4nk> Told me it was so he could remember the lucid dreams
  he had the following morning.
  <sp4nk> So one night at about 1, I decided to have a look.
  <sp4nk> As I suspected, full of shit about meeting dead people
  and flying across the Atlantic Ocean.
  <sp4nk> He was asleep at the time, of course.
  <sp4nk> So I grabbed a pencil and made my own entry.
  <martyr> ROFL
  <sp4nk> Something along the lines of: OH MY GOD I WANT YOUR
  BLOOD SATAN PLEASE LIBERATE ME FROM MY WRETCHED LIFE
  <sp4nk> I swear, he was shaking the rest of that day.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907509
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731773
text:
  (Bass_EXE): reminds me of this one time.. this girl said 'HA!
  and what would you guys do without us women?!' I just replied
  'domesticate another animal.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731887
text:
  <Uno> am I better then Keanu Reeves? Well that is a matter of
  opinion and acting ability
  * Uno is now known as Rkiver
  <Skorp> heh
  <Plague> lol
  <The_GoldFish> no one is better than Keanu Reeves
  <The_GoldFish> NO ONE
  <The_GoldFish> anyway
  <Plague> keanu reeves is the master
  * Zapth likes Rkiver more then Keanu Reeves
  * Skorp hides
  <Plague> who else do you know who can fly?
  <Rkiver> Clarke Kent
  <PatamonKid> you are keanu reeves's bitch
  <Skorp> Superman??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731942
text:
  <SkoroWork> Xyverz: where is this coming from?
  <Beryllium> geekissues.com/quotes ...
  <SkoroWork> ahh
  <SkoroWork> ok
  <SkoroWork> thought he was in some lame IRC channel somewhere
  and thought we wanted to see the lame discussions going on
  there :-P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.731997
text:
  <Devilbunny> when talking to a girl who's a programmer about
  dating prospects, I said not to worry.
  <Devilbunny> as a programmer, she'll be exposed to geek boys
  who may have never seen a girl before, and she can have her
  pick of the litter
  <Devilbunny> someone else interjected saying "The odds are
  good, but the goods are odd."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907511
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732045
text:
  <snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a
  night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your
  computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email
  "im drunk" has been sent.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907511
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732102
text:
  <deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
  <deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
  <RageFury> http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp
  <RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their
  website?
  <RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was
  great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the
  hot sauce".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907512
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732235
text:
  <DJCookieMonster> Tell your mother to stop changing her
  lipstick. My dick is like a friggin rainbow.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732381
text:
  <Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter
  Treasure Darling
  <Radu> i shit you not
  <Tac0> did you fuck her
  <Tac0> ?
  <Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
  <Tac0> whats your point


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732470
text:
  <@UBC_Wiska> I have invented a vibrator featuring a CPU, 64 MB
  RAM... it is wireless and LAN capable
  <@theamy> *vibrates*
  <@UBC_Wiska> wtf?
  * kevinb notes that UBC has invented anal vibrator for
  personal use
  <@UBC_Wiska> it will be able to download "personalities"
  <@Narcissus> Why would one want to switch personalities
  mid-use?
  <@UBC_Wiska> for example
  <@UBC_Wiska> the leo personality shuts the vibrator off :)
  <@theamy> What would your personality do Wisket
  <@theamy> I know what matt's would
  <@kevinb> It would shrink to half the size
  <@theamy> LOL
  <@UBC_Wiska> the size and diameter are variable
  <@UBC_Wiska> and set on personalities
  <@Narcissus> That's one sophisticated vibrator:)
  <@UBC_Wiska> for example, kevin's would be swollen from all
  the previous j/o :)
  <@kevinb> It would also implement Impotent sub-routines.
  <@kevinb> lol
  <@Narcissus> Keep the vibrator discussion clean, Wisk:)
  <@UBC_Wiska> How?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732516
text:
  eI pianisto: So..
  eI pianisto: I called to complain about the slow DSL speeds.
  eI pianisto: and they told me
  eI pianisto: that it was because all the kids are out of
  school and "in their stupid chat rooms"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732568
text:
  <DigDug> <hypr> dof i think hj00 lsefz haw
  <DigDug> wtf did that say?
  <hypr> i dunno
  <hypr> what i said


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732619
text:
  <linuxelf> During our last camping trip, we came up with a new
  idea for the japanese.  Having a bunch of guys pour coffee on
  a woman's face, and call it Bukkoffee.
  <linuxelf> yeah, we had a few beers...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907520
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732663
text:
  Flint62704: Maybe someone should invent floating point D&D
  Flint62704: Roll a d[1,6]
  Flint62704: I got 4.4546347578554!
  Flint62704: Sorry, he still has 0.000002425 hp left
  Flint62704: You lose


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907520
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732722
text:
  <Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
  <Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
  <Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
  <todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
  <Stemish> well, that too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907520
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732810
text:
  <yuethomas> so I'm not a psychopath. Boohoo.
  <Dom> Well, psychopath doesn't mean murderer or killer
  <Dom> They're just more likely to
  <Dom> They tend to appear very intelligent, only their
  vocabulary is very extensive, but if you are intelligible
  about the topic they're discussing you will usually find it
  has no real substance.
  <Dom> Just lots of misused or illogical jargon
  <yuethomas> Case in point. o_o
  <yuethomas> and cliches, i'm sure
  <Dom> Yep
  <Dom> And they drift from topic to topic very easily
  <yuethomas> speaking of the weather
  <Dom> :D
  <Dom> Thanks, I brushed it this morning
  <yuethomas> Did it grow?
  <Dom> And how
  <yuethomas> I know eh
  <Dom> I'll have to paint it one day
  <yuethomas> Use some duct tape too
  <Dom> and hotpants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732852
text:
  [ +vampyriclust ] what is it about vanilla coke that makes me
  piss like a bitch with a urine fetish?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732911
text:
  <Setoshi> im sad
  <Setoshi> how i wanted to download house season 1
  <Setoshi> and i got the full house season 1
  <Setoshi> what a fucking waste
  <KN> rofl!!!!!!
  <Setoshi> dude but i seriously got pissed
  <Setoshi> i saw michelle's face I was like
  <Setoshi> WTF IS THIS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.732957
text:
  <Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked
  :)
  <Fireslide> *this
  * Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide ( 12  619 12  )


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733011
text:
  <tyrannosaurus> less is more
  <tyrannosaurus> actually no
  <tyrannosaurus> they're different binaries
  <tyrannosaurus> my bad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907522
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733064
text:
  <BethOOC> If it were my dad, he'd be making jokes about being
  hard-headed.
  <BethOOC> After they amputated his toe he joked about having
  to learn to count in base 19
  <Rach> .....
  <Rach> Your dad is a dork...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907522
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733108
text:
  <wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a
  Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that
  Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907523
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733201
text:
  <radez> i tried slitting my wrist 3 days ago cuz i realized
  that my life sucked but then
  <radez> i wanted to watch coyote ugly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907523
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733256
text:
  *** collusion is now known as CmdrTaco
  <_vulture> OMG
  <_vulture> CmdrTaco I kick your ass
  <CmdrTaco> i shutdown slashdot
  <CmdrTaco> i realized its a piece of shit
  <_vulture> mandrake hates slashdot too
  <CmdrTaco> im gonna go cry cuz i hate M$$$$
  <CmdrTaco> somebody cheer me up and send me a kernel to
  compile


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907523
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733302
text:
  <blaxthos> web.archive.org is taking a snapshot of bash at
  this very moment
  <blaxthos> i should change it to 100% pictures of horse
  penises


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907523
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733352
text:
  <*> This mouse wheel is so loud I can beatbox with it.
  <*> This is a skill about as far removed from "Hunter
  Gatherer" as it gets.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907524
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733402
text:
  <_Peachy> i soooo need a t0mp00ter
  <theraven> a what?
  <_Peachy> a t0mp00ter sirry!
  <theraven> i get you now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907524
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733452
text:
  <mog> 4/f/kali, ne1 wanna cybar?  omglol moms home brb
  <mog> er...
  <mog> that was supposed to be 14
  <mog> either way


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907524
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733526
text:
  <Fuckhead> have you ever cut a hole in a teddy bear and fucked
  it?
  <@Neo> ...
  <Fuckhead> i have
  <%jdp> congrats
  <%jdp> did u cum dood?
  <Fuckhead> thank you
  <Fuckhead> i wasnt old enough to cum
  <Fuckhead> i didnt have any pubs
  <%jdp> oic
  <%jdp> so i bet the bear didnt like it much :'(
  <Fuckhead> or however u spell it
  <%TreeHugger> sek-c
  <Fuckhead> i think it enjoyed it
  <Fuckhead> because it was smiling the whole time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733586
text:
  <aorie> shit slashdot STILL down
  <MrP-> yeah, im crying now
  <MrP-> whats wrong with it?
  <aorie> this sucks
  <aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh
  <MrP-> me too
  <MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all
  day, but i said "after i read slashdot"
  <MrP-> GOD DAMNIT!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733693
text:
  <GreenFux> gym music always sounds like porn music for some
  reason
  <Rakekniven> Same with 60's and 70's educational film strips.
  <Rakekniven> Whoever would've guesed that Oxygen and Hydrogen
  enjoy bonding to the same music as Bunny Love and Brock
  Stiffy.
  <opie> heh
  <GreenFux> i think that i will formulate a theory that the
  universe is powered by hot steamy sex
  <GreenFux> it makes more sense than string theory right away


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733735
text:
  AgentScrewball: i know a guy who had a plastic tube implanted
  in one of his balls b/c of surgery. we called him mr.
  plesticle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907526
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733783
text:
  * PamelaPeaks wishes she could donate sperm for $50
  <Lowbrow> You can fly down and help me donate, Pam
  <Lowbrow> You can even have the $50 :|
  * PamelaPeaks ponders
  <Lowbrow> If you stay long enough you can earn enough to fly
  back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907526
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733833
text:
  <GSValore> basic VMS system I configured a moment ago from
  compaq was like $33,000US
  <GenmaC> haha
  <GenmaC> "hmmm...get a car...get a VMS box...get a car...get a
  VMS box..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907526
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733898
text:
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> i talked for 4 hours, to my anti-drug
  girlfriend
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> stoned off my ass
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> she didnt suspect nothing
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like "everyone here is wasted and
  toasted"
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> she is like You arent i hope
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like Nope!
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> oh man, i should be an actor
  <LoZel> no you shouldnt
  <[bM]DrFunk-404-> yes
  <LoZel> no dude you cant even make text beleivable


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907527
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.733968
text:
  <QuartzImg> damn, unfortunately ill be missing the crab race
  <llamamall> do they pick them right off the pubes?
  <QuartzImg> ever seen Maryland crabs?
  <binrapt> I said do you enjoy the smell of your genitals
  <QuartzImg> I cant really sniff them
  <QuartzImg> Maryland crabs are about the size of a small cat
  <QuartzImg> and bright blue
  <QuartzImg> and evil
  <llamamall> wow
  <llamamall> would suck to have those in your pubes
  <QuartzImg> i know
  <QuartzImg> they weigh like 3 lbs max
  <QuartzImg> that would be a nasty tug


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907527
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734026
text:
  <trunck> i miss the times when i had my 2 dumps
  <trunck> didn't need to go anywhere
  <trunck> had everything in 2 ftps
  <trunck> 100+k
  <trunck> download
  <trunck> now i suck
  * Nec unzips his pants
  <Nec> go ahead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907527
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734080
text:
  <Dyl4N>a mosquito landed on my screen and i went to right
  click on it and close it...
  <Dyl4N>then i realized i should get out more
  <Jesse>send me a screen shot
  <Jesse>wait


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907528
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734142
text:
  <me2> How do I queue a clip in server...everytime it says slot
  is available someone fills it in
  <MrParker> did you use "get" or "queue" ?
  <me2> queue, but others seem to beat me to the available slot
  <me2> but I want to fill the slot
  <me2> Ive been on top of the slot ready to fill it tho
  <me2> I want to put it in
  <me2> Well...once I get it in its staying there
  <MrParker> are we still talking about files ??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907528
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734196
text:
  * Lembas found an awesome headline in today's paper.
  <Lembas> Violence in Israel.
  * Bonzai fails to see the awesomeness, that's like "Snow in
  Siberia"
  <Bruce_MacCulloch> or "Idiots in Washington"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734333
text:
  <kraus> omg, dude i love you in a way that is illegal in most
  countries.
  <pyro> in school i want you to keep atleast a one meter
  distance away from me. :|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734387
text:
  <snag> you know whats funny
  <snag> im big
  <snag> but im not that fat
  <eldee> that's what all fat people say


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734440
text:
  <Mike> We should have internet rings like Captain Planet.
  <skauert> TCP, UDP, FTP, SSH, HTTP
  <skauert> By your protocols combined
  <skauert> I'm captain internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907530
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734481
text:
  MelancholicKiss: say something profound
  MaximumTool007: Old people should be put down at birth.
  MelancholicKiss: why do i even bother


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907530
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734576
text:
  <weasel> she likes it when you touch her feet
  <Zoidy> Im not touching no ones feet
  <Zoidy> only my own
  * jessica is now known as my_own
  <my_own> touch me baby
  <my_own> oooh yeah....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734622
text:
  <Brookes_Baby> Hey does anyone have an idea of what I could
  get for my collection of Final Fantasy games?
  <Kevyn> Not laid.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734672
text:
  (@burk-food) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=
  Sicarius123
  (@Sicarius123) burk-food
  (@Sicarius123) you cunt
  (@burk-food) rofl
  (@Sicarius123) how the fuck does my nick sound like a sesame
  street character?
  (@burk-food) I think it does.
  (MicrophoneJoe) ABC
  (nich|shower) haha
  (MicrophoneJoe) SICARIOUS!
  (MicrophoneJoe) 123
  (nich|shower) you'd think he'd be worried about the scat
  allegation
  (MicrophoneJoe) SICARIUS!
  (nich|shower) but nooooo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734724
text:
  <er0s> if i was a porn director, i'd randomly cut to eye
  contact with the male actor
  <er0s> to freak out whoever is watching
  <er0s> maybe have him smile slightly too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907532
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734772
text:
  [mdtown] I wouldn't screw Dionne Warwick with a 10-meter
  extendopenis.
  [Jade Lotus] lol
  [mdtown] You've never heard the term extendopenis before?
  [mdtown] Well, welcome to a new level of human consciousness.
  [mdtown] "Go Go Gadget Cock!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907532
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734823
text:
  *** Now talking in #catholic
  <shervin> where can I download "Catholic School Girls Gone
  Wild VII" and "Guide to Successfully Raping Nun's 2002
  Edition"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907532
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734873
text:
  <Dogan> but I knew this one mathematician guy in college
  <Dogan> he tried to apply for a grant to get funding for his
  project
  <Dogan> and on the form he said his project involved "studying
  the effects of tropical vacations on mathematicians"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907532
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734928
text:
  <raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention
  I heard the best owned story
  <raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do
  genetic crosses with it
  <raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her
  and her parents blood types from her mom
  <raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad
  was related to her
  <raela> or at least, not the father
  <raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.734986
text:
  <SaxxonPike> mmm, steak
  <SLASHSPIT> you guys don't respect the environment, do you?
  <SaxxonPike> I respect a good dinner
  <SLASHSPIT> how can you eat that? cows are like one of the
  largest contributors of methane gas
  <SLASHSPIT> which contributes to global warming and stuff
  <SLASHSPIT> so what are you all doing for the environment?
  <SaxxonPike> I eat the fucking cows


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735030
text:
  (Mr_Moppy) I got me some great head last night
  (Mr_Moppy) Tired the dog out though... she's not used to such
  vigorous work.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735089
text:
  <AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
  <AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
  <AK[coding]> But in a few months...
  <AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will
  be showing up in your poor terminal.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735182
text:
  <asmcoded> anal sex is like hacking
  <asmcoded> you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont
  meet a log


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735223
text:
  (BrntToast) zeon_64: i chat with ppl in austrlia and they are
  a day ahead of us, i keep askin em to watch the 649 draw and
  tell me the numbers but they say it dont work that way :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735269
text:
  <MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with
  a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735323
text:
  <Dianuzza> there is a big gay community here in Paris
  <usnjay> yeah.
  <usnjay> it's called "Paris".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735387
text:
  <fo_eva_pimpin> WHITE POWER. FUK BLACK NIGGARS. IM FUKEN
  WHITE.
  <xenogenesis> That's nice, dear.
  <fo_eva_pimpin> SHUT UP YU STUPID BITCHHORE YO MOMMA CAN SUK
  MY COK
  <xenogenesis>...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Do you see
  the injustice here? The accused claims to be of caucasian
  "pigment", if you will. However, whilst claiming to be of this
  race, he is attempting to sound "homie" or "black". An
  immediate contradiction.
  <fo_eva_pimpin> FUK YU STUPID BITCH. IM FUKEN BLACK.
  <xenogenesis> Opposition rests.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735436
text:
  <@spr|efnex> last day of highschool
  <@spr|efnex> im going to take 2 or 3 viagra, go up to every
  girl that rejected me, point at my pants and say "LOOK WHAT
  YOU MISSED, BITCH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907536
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735487
text:
  <FuRiOuS1> how bout a place where u can post something u need,
  like an answer to a question, or something, anything. this
  will all be categorized. ppl can post replies
  <FuRiOuS1> help eachother
  <braindancer> newsgroups?
  <braindancer> forums?
  <FuRiOuS1> fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907536
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735629
text:
  <Icedude> you know what pisses me off? when morpheus was
  jumping for the helicopter in the matrix, agent smith uses a
  wallhack! THIS IS NOT CS, ITS THE MATRIX! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT
  AGENT!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735728
text:
  <F|Mizan> "Canada.com is reporting that some 20,000 Canadians
  listed "Jedi" as their religion in the last national census
  (2001)"
  <M|SubAt0Mic> No wonder the US doesn't respect us


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735778
text:
  <isurx> vinyl as in a record right?
  <babo> Yes.
  <ami_> as in 12 inches of black joy
  <N8> like... never mind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735830
text:
  <Electric> Jester says he's gonna rub deep heat into my
  bollocks at 4AM
  <AdmV0rl0n> does he now....
  <Electric> But when he goes back to bed, he'll still smell the
  fart I did there earlier :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735897
text:
  <squipple_> hey!
  <squipple_> who's got my name with underscore
  <_aa_> !
  <squipple_> kick them pls
  <squipple_> oh wait, I can..hahaha
  <_aa_> I don't get it
  * squipple_ was kicked by squipple_ (Kick)
  <_aa_> lol
  <_aa_> did he just kick himself?
  <Znarl> There's a good argument against drinking and IRCing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907538
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735946
text:
  <Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
  <Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907538
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.735998
text:
  <mrburrito>I have pulled my 9110 apart so many times, and I
  still can't work out what's wrong with it...
  <loz>Maybe the fact that you've pulled it apart that many
  times?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907539
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736096
text:
  [brianh] smaller boobs are cool
  (Akira1) hmm
  [brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have
  [brianh] 18
  [brianh] I fucking meant 18
  (Akira1) hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907539
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736150
text:
  <Omega037> so, apparently in preschool class today the teacher
  asked the class "What are you afraid of?" and my son screamed
  "BLACK PEOPLE!"  It took her like a minute of talking to him
  about it to realize that he meant shadows, he just didn't know
  the word.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907539
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736217
text:
  <mg|Nibble> haha I just use my daughter text phone to email
  her friends she was gay
  <LeadOP-Toast> isn't that a bit sick? :P
  <mg|Nibble> yup
  <LeadOP-Toast> kk :)
  <LeadOP-Toast> She's not going to be happy :P
  <mg|Nibble> servers her right for running a £200 phone bill up
  on me
  <LeadOP-Toast> oh, fair nuff then
  <LeadOP-Toast> :P
  <mg|Nibble> revenge rocks :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736272
text:
  <GoodScrat> how's the humanoid with the wet crotch doing?
  <Zygote-> and hill billy slang
  <Zygote-> haha
  <Zygote-> you mean my wife?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736323
text:
  <The_Defiance> who cares... i mean really, illiterate people
  on a text based chat program would be almost as bizarre as a
  blind optician
  <My3blka> Def, it's commonplace, it's called AOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736373
text:
  <@Lurker> live pics from baghdad on cnn
  <@Lurker> nothing happening
  <schitzo> nope nothing going on
  <@Lurker> We should just go to an iraqi irc channel and when
  they ping out the war is on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736422
text:
  <Ickypeww> i ain't eating no girl untill they genetically
  engineer one with a watermellon flavored pussy that gets
  sweeter when she gets exited


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907541
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736476
text:
  <sh1bby> man..top 5 inventions by black people...whats up with
  that
  <sh1bby> what about the white people's inventions??
  <s3llout> uh..slaves
  <s3llout> pwned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907541
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736577
text:
  <Vino> I'd jack off in the middle of a circular buttsex chain
  for a klondike bar
  <Brother_Shinobi> ...
  <Tempyst> ...
  <Keyse|2> ...
  <Muffdan> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736629
text:
  <BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
  no titties
  <LULU> You wear pants don't you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736681
text:
  <Mazroth> ya vodka is potato water, thats why everyone in
  russia drinks it
  <Mazroth> too many potatoes there
  <Mazroth> They have it at mcdonalds, heh
  <Mazroth> in fountains.
  <Mazroth> big mac, large fry, and supersized vodka


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736737
text:
  <BonzoBoy> An honorary degree is like a nerf dildo.
  <ramoth4> nerf dildos can be fun....sort of
  <Equinas> i use a nerf whip
  <Equinas> it's part of the Bondage for Beginners set


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736799
text:
  <conlusio> besides, I'll do something stupid soon myself I'm
  sure
  <Irlut> conlusio: true, true :)
  <conlusio> oh fuck
  <conlusio> I just did it
  <conlusio> I cut up the brand new fucking credit cards instead
  of the old ones
  <conlusio> talk about instant fucking karma


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907543
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736845
text:
  [@Jimlad] http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
  [@Jimlad] uhm ok
  [@Jimlad] you didn't see that.
  º @Jimlad quickly puts something else on his clipboard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907543
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.736904
text:
  <H_Zula> I read this article online
  <H_Zula> and in one part it said "FBI agent posed as a 15 Year
  Old Boy"
  <H_Zula> So I was thinking how the hell does this guy look?
  <H_Zula> Something like a short guy in his 40's with acne
  still?
  <H_Zula> Then I realized what the hell they meant...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737000
text:
  <@DocGonzo> saying mac osx has 'the power of unix' is like
  putting whippets in your glovebox then saying your car has
  'the power of nitrous'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737052
text:
  <MugsyDaFish> i was peeing on the building and a cop rolls up
  on his bike
  <MugsyDaFish> i told him, i hope you're not going to arrest me
  cuz i don't think ill be able to sit on the handlebars
  <MugsyDaFish> i almost went to jail for that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907545
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737100
text:
  <DJ> apparently, a friend of mine has split with his g/f "for
  a couple of mouths"
  <DJ> im assuming thats a typo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737233
text:
  insaneFlash: man
  insaneFlash: finals are taring me an ass
  dogz: ah
  dogz: man
  dogz: are they gziping it as well?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737294
text:
  * C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know?
  If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a
  care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my
  curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
  <Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
  * Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what
  to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please
  believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in
  me.)
  <Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll
  have to call it a draw.
  * Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my
  heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER
  XXX)
  <Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907547
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737398
text:
  <whiskers> wtf
  <whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
  <whiskers> told me to turn down the music
  <Spyder|TV> crank it
  <torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
  <Kinuvan> CRANK IT
  *whiskers turns up the music
  <whiskers>i hear steps
  *** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907548
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737493
text:
  <Cyber_Akuma> They REALLY want to make dying in the game
  realistic
  <Cyber_Akuma> The pc insantly locked up when i died


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907548
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737592
text:
  <@IS2> play it again, dugy
  <@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo da da de da dooo
  <@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo daaaaa da daaa
  <@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo da da de da dooo
  <@IS2> ahhh, what a classic
  * IS2 saves it to his mp3 collection
  <@Dugy> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737641
text:
  <passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to
  found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737690
text:
  <Nikari[away]> OMG I GOT NEW SHOES
  <Nikari[away]> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
  <Nikari[away]> TIME FOR DDR


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737740
text:
  <Repent> I hate it when I'm the only one what chats in the
  room.  Cause then I'm just hearing myself blabber.
  <stugster> we hate it when you chat in the room in general


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737794
text:
  <The_Capn> Must be a space mummy!
  <Card> or, an even more mysterious species
  <Card> The species that is so rare, that there is only one
  left
  <Card> and it needs to procreate, so it has come to my bedroom
  <Card> Yes, I am talking about the elusive "Your Mom"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737891
text:
  < telex > i love god
  < Bayls > Telex - except in your case "god" is your anus, and
  you "worship" it with a broom handle.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737938
text:
  <drewb> I still dont get how you can use linux when it doesnt
  have a control panel
  <jamesm> well duh, use xeyes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.737984
text:
  <mustafa12>Ya, in 9th grade I was reading some background
  history on a poem out loud to the class and the poem was
  written in 1337, me being the cool social butterfly that I am,
  I read it as "leet"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738048
text:
  <_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
  <minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop
  masturbating
  <Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a
  towel and u get horny
  <minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air
  coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
  <Willacuz> i dont get that one?
  <minime--> neither do I?
  <_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are
  afraid to use a dirty sock
  <aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys
  wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
  <Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you
  masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk
  about is how you know when you masturbate too much
  <aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step
  further...
  <aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too
  busy masturbating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738106
text:
  <timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the
  earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves
  around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
  <timmo> jesus
  <timmo> people are fucking morons
  <wind`> wait what
  <wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
  <timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738153
text:
  denisbaldwin: I think I love you...
  denisbaldwin: So what am I so afraid of...
  denisbaldwin: I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...
  denisbaldwin: A love there is no cure for.
  alexusslave: like herpes?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738236
text:
  <AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
  <AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
  <AlmtyBob> and back in the days
  <AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can
  run
  <AlmtyBob> and they would
  <AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad
  lost his legs in a construction accident'
  <AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the
  best reactions from people
  <AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
  <AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a
  supervisor
  <AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to
  go up to this chick and ask the same thing
  <AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few
  years back
  <AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
  <AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738292
text:
  <Cow> the night is young! so young that If I were to have sex
  with it, it wouldn't know what I was doing, would be scarred
  for life and develop multiple personality disorder to evade
  the shock!
  <Cow> ....
  <Cow> ...
  <Cow> seriously.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738344
text:
  <crunchyfish> Yeah, poor ZS. Shoplifting, and then getting in
  trouble for shoplifting. Things are so fucking unfair
  sometimes.
  <Chris_A> Hey, Winona Ryder didn't lose her IRC priviledges.
  <crunchyfish> Yeah, and she's not half as hot as ZS.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738400
text:
  <XaSer> what's the word for NOT independent? unindependent?
  <travly> yeah
  <XaSer> thanks!
  <travly> no problem, really =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738506
text:
  <Anubis> i hate ppl that use my name and dont even know who or
  what anubis is
  <nyLar> I bet you don't even know.
  <Anubis> ya i do
  <nyLar> Who is he then?
  *** Anubis has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738610
text:
  <Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting
  near this group of black guys at a table and they all had
  tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were
  studying calculus or some shit
  <Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table
  with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them
  wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some
  50 cent ringtone or some shit
  <Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
  <Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me
  muttered "fucking niggers"
  <Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738670
text:
  <Sandie> http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/
  wesleys-anal-ordeal <- Sci needs to see this
  <Sandie> "As Wesley opened his mouth in agony Kor slid the
  gigantic head of
  <Sandie> his Klingon cock into his soft boy-mouth. Wes's
  scream became a gurgle as
  <Sandie> he began nursing the head in compliance with Kor's
  bellowing order to
  <Sandie> please his warrior dick with his pussyboy mouth.
  <c_thur> ...
  * Tomko slits his wrists and welcomes the sweet red death


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738760
text:
  <Renegad3> Cannibal Corpse is good just cause of the lyrics
  <Renegad3> i cut her from her neck down to her anus. then i
  cut out her vagina. then i ate it.
  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738809
text:
  <_dk-> I just grabbed a couple pretzels and sat down at the
  computer... I bit in to one and realized that not only was it
  stale, but I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with. But
  I was too lazy to get up and toss them in the trash, so I ate
  them anyway... I wonder just how many of the Seven Deadly Sins
  that qualifies me for...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738855
text:
  Nautilus724: One time I tried to piss off the people at
  McDonalds by ordering the food in the little Spanish I knew.
  Nautilus724: I think that was the first time they didn't screw
  up my order.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738904
text:
  Dainichi> I'm going to start a band called Hand Solo.
  Dainichi> Our first song will be a heavy metal cover of "I
  Touch Myself"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907556
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738949
text:
  mcilhemnny: see, this is why I like bittorrents
  mcilhemnny: Family guy, Seasons... 1-4 + the movie
  mcilhemnny: Now thats fucking organisation
  mcilhemnny: I don't have to do any work
  mcilhemnny: I just sit on my fucking ass and wait...
  mcilhemnny: for
  mcilhemnny: 196.5 days...
  mcilhemnny: awww... the simple life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907556
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.738998
text:
  TANNER3000: I decided I'd try Meatball Marinara today.
  TANNER3000: It's good, but no cigar.
  Luigigamer Golem: You're abusing the idiom.
  TANNER3000: No, I meant you'd have a hard time smoking it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907556
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739065
text:
  <Monarx> If it's 2003, where's my flying cars?
  <Monarx> And jetpacks?
  <Proto_K> hehe
  <Proto_K> all those old cartoons
  <Monarx> And other hoohah?
  <Proto_K> that depict the "future" in 1991 AD
  <||bass> yea
  <||bass> 1991
  <||bass> Mc Hammer
  <||bass> talk about a fuckin disappointment, huh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739122
text:
  <Nagosaki>   ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;lkjh/;.lmnbv bnm./'"?:>,mcv b
  m,/."
  <Nagosaki> "?VGbm/'
  <Nagosaki> sorry
  <Nagosaki> wiping off keyboard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739167
text:
  <ambrgone> the way i figure it, if the hard drives go at
  7200rpm on 12V, on
  240V, they should go.... EVEN FASTER!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739210
text:
  [msg.argvee(~flop@adsl-216-103-210-51.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net)]
  ok whoever made ircii interfac ewas clearly not considering
  drunk people when doing i


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739276
text:
  <frail> there are places that should never be scraped
  <frail> "get your hand out of my pants and use an emory board
  you son of a bitch!
  <flee> ok, if you want an emory board on your genitals, sure.
  <adric> i think id prefer nails to an emory board..
  <adric> granted id want them to be short, clean and smooth..
  <flee> I like my men short, clean and smooth.
  <adric> damn i have the short and clean down.. but i think im
  all corners..
  <flee> not that type of smooth
  <flee> smooth like a razor blade you don't notice in the
  shotglass of gin
  <bob> shaven, not stirred


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739325
text:
  <santa-tim> cause the photo CRIED OUT TO BE HAXORED
  <santa-tim> it said
  <santa-tim> PHOTOSHOP A DICK IN HERE, IT WILL BE FUNNY


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739378
text:
  <Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u
  can say is
  <Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
  <[HI]Widget> lol
  <Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
  <Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739422
text:
  * Bobber lights up the crack pipe and takes a hit
  * Bobber passes it to Jesus
  * Jesus takes a hit
  <Jesus> Argh, my dad is gonna KILL me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739473
text:
  * Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very
  frightened
  <LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
  <Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my
  ex-girlfriend.
  <LJ-atwork> in a jar


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739528
text:
  <LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't
  fail at it.
  <UprightMan>Says Who?
  <UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
  <UprightMan>and still mess up
  <UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I
  still sometimes miss the toilet!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739596
text:
  <@DrFurious> -prince- [Global Notice] Tonight we mourn the
  loss of a ZiRC user. One not everybody knew, but those who did
  know him loved and thought of him as a nice person. robert^,
  took his own life, of why, I do not know other than the pain
  and suffering he had dealt with in his life. R.I.P Robert,
  1985 - 2002 (WE WILL ALL MISS YOU!)
  <MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
  <MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
  <alfred> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
  <@DrFurious> i need to kill myself so i can be featured in a
  global notice
  <@DrFurious> i'll be famous
  <leedo> omg lets do a group suicide
  <leedo> they better give us each our own notice though
  <@rincewind1013> i'm in if your in
  <@DrFurious> maybe we can stagger them to make sure
  <MrSauce> my mom sure will be proud


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739645
text:
  (+aileur): man you guys rock
  (+aileur): killed 120 people in a wedding
  (@SeeDee): news here says 20
  (+JoeYoung): eh?
  (@headc4se): well they're canadian cd, so using the metric
  system
  (+JoeYoung): metric people
  (+JoeYoung): 1 standard person=6 metric people


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739706
text:
  <frenzaldude> I can't believe that around 60% dont want an
  XBox!
  <frenzaldude> I couldn't wait to get mine. XBox is the best
  gaming console of all time, even look at the stats: http://
  www.xbox365.com/xp_consoles.shtml
  <Flashman> To quote www.maddox.xmission.com, "Saying the Xbox
  is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made
  a great painting because you used the best set of paints."
  <frenzaldude> not really, coz u might be a crap painter
  <frenzaldude> anyway xbox has the best graphics and stuf, and
  u can put it onto the internet!!! thats my fav feature


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739755
text:
  <Calrathan> omg, the despair is making me use gotos!
  <Calrathan> goto cliff
  <Calrathan> :cliff
  <Calrathan> jmp 0xFFFFFFFF


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739807
text:
  <Daniel> The new bash quotes suck
  <Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part
  of the new quotes, and will therefore suck?
  <Daniel> ..
  <Daniel> Fuck you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739856
text:
  <IceCub>  Two British Helicopters have collided
  <Smerdyakov>  Cool.  Those Brits know how to have a good time.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739951
text:
  <SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands
  in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get
  TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking
  I just got a ton of piss all over my hands.  Then I realize
  it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss.
  What the HELL was my brain thinking?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.739997
text:
  <starrrr> muhaha i did steal head server of Internet. If push
  "power" button the hole net will be shutdown. i hate all you
  Quake Playas!! !! !! uu!! And If i push reset button the whole
  internet going to DIE!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740051
text:
  <sticker> Scientists have recently dicsovered that most women
  will, at some time in their life, contain small amounts of
  intelligent DNA.
  <sticker> Unfortunately for a large majority of females, this
  is only a temporary state, as over 95% of them will SPIT IT
  OUT!!!
  <sticker> lmao
  <ShadowHunter> rofl
  <MrSupreme> rofl, good one
  <CouldItBe> lmao nice one sticker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740104
text:
  <pinepusher> Anyone know a good place where someone with no
  credit can get a loan???
  <xENo> yeah, but the rates are high
  <xENo> and if you miss a payment, they repo your life
  <pinepusher> what are the rates like?
  <pinepusher> any idea?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740163
text:
  <Zer0_-X-> animeology - the study of japanese animation
  <ecat> u must study it quite well
  <Zer0_-X-> yah
  <Zer0_-X-> i've got phd :D
  <Goddess> permanent head damage?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740218
text:
  whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent
  design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution?
  That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an
  internal combustion engine.
  What units do you use for measuring Godliness?
  mediaho: Cleanliness?
  whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of
  Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water
  into wine"
  MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt"
  Smallberries: About 103 Jews.
  pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric?
  jimmyhaha: Commie.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740318
text:
  <@PikaChan> the four greatest numbers in existance: 13, 69,
  666, 1337
  <@PikaChan> man, it'd be cool to have the phone number
  1-337-666-1369
  <%ragna> pika, you thought long and hard about that didnt you?
  <@PikaChan> yes i did


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740363
text:
  <TurdS> i have to go and negociate the release of the
  chocolate hostages
  * TurdS is now known as TurdS[shitting]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740436
text:
  <Insomniak> so anyways
  <Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
  <Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black
  garbage bag
  <Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
  <Insomniak> i was running late
  <Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
  <Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes
  up to me
  <Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
  <Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
  <Insomniak> "no"
  <Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
  <Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740484
text:
  <Habz> you can download the human genome tommorow http://
  www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993621
  <ArmaDuck> and what the hell will i do with it?
  <bargeld> compile the source


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740534
text:
  <Zee-sleep> i got full marks for answering "what would
  encryption be used for?" with "KFC's 11 secret herbs and
  spices"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740575
text:
  ohnoitschris: White Castle: The OTHER guilty pleasure that
  makes you scream in the bathroom
  ohnoitschris: ...
  ohnoitschris: I am so sorry.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740627
text:
  <grifferz> haha that reminds me
  <grifferz> I had a dream last night
  <grifferz> I was fighting an evil irc villain and found that
  he was vulnerable to ctrl-g
  <grifferz> I killed him by pasting a whole screen of beep


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740698
text:
  <Rbrt> i have decided to file for a divorce
  <nharris> Rbrt.. wise move
  <Rbrt> yepp neil
  <closedown> did you just have a kid?
  <Rbrt> yes i did
  <nharris> my brother's inlaws are DICKS.. except his bro in
  law..he's cool
  <Rbrt> the kid doesnt change the fact that she's a psycho
  <closedown> ah
  <closedown> my gf's trying to hint at marriage
  <closedown> that would surely cut into my irc time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740757
text:
  * mitd apologizes to japh for mix-up but is sure that japh[^y]
  has also done many clever things.
  <jc> japh did "hello, world" once.  It was pretty awesome.
  <japh> No one does "hello world" like I do.
  <vroom> I've never seen a more beautiful 1603457 lines of
  code.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740807
text:
  < k5egg> the fucking oil spill is several hundred times larger
  than AT&T's 3G coverage...
  < n1lqj> Unlike AT&T the oil spill is guaranteed to cover
  everyone


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740855
text:
  <hypo> taking it up the ass only hurts the first few times
  <hypo> uh
  <hypo> my friend told me that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740906
text:
  <marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press
  and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his
  baggage that contained a training programme for fighters
  wanting to wage "holy war."
  <marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on
  the quake engine.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.740959
text:
  <Aerion> I haven't rebooted Windows for a week and it still
  hasn't started leaking memory.
  <AndrewT> freaky
  <AndrewT> you'd better get that thing to microsoft before it
  starts becoming useful


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741009
text:
  <Wilke> LEMME SHOW YOU MY FORECAST
  <Wilke> COLD WITH LOTS OF FUCKING SNOW AND LIGHTNING
  <Wilke> LOW OF REALLY FUCKING COLD
  <Wilke> HIGH OF REALLY NOT QUITE AS FUCKING COLD


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741058
text:
  <tic`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this
  dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
  <MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in
  real life your a no-pussy gettin prick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741107
text:
  * BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
  BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person.  In fact, if people like
  that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss
  Freaking Congeniality, dammit!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741155
text:
  <kaGirl01> the nest time we have sex.... can it be to the tune
  of star trek??
  <kaGirl01> ohh ummmm  wrong window, please excuse that
  <evilroot> . . . . . . . .


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741203
text:
  <DigiGnome> When you recognise most of the links from Portal
  of Evil because they're on your favourites list, that's the
  time to start worrying.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741244
text:
  * ^sensual_male^ is a sexy 20.m.melb, any mums or dads, wanna
  watch me make love to their young daughter? msg me now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741303
text:
  <mrm> i hate realplayer
  <lummie> its good for cartoons
  <mrm> yeah
  <mrm> but it crawls deep into the anus of my computer
  <mrm> and hides there eternally
  <mrm> until i least expect it
  <JtHM> your computer has an anus?!
  <Fesh> realplayer installs it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741433
text:
  <TheShadowHunter> I wish I wore an eyepatch
  <TheShadowHunter> itd give me that air of mystery that the
  ladies find irresistible
  <Saria> Ahahaha
  <Saria> Wtf
  <Saria> Yeah, eyepatches totally up teh sekz0r fact0r
  <TheShadowHunter> psssh you say that now
  <TheShadowHunter> but wait till youre milling around at a
  party
  <TheShadowHunter> and all of a sudden the doors open and I
  walk in wearing a tux and an eyepatch
  <TheShadowHunter> and people gasp
  <TheShadowHunter> and an uncomfortable buzz fills the room as
  people try to return to their former joviality
  <TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost that eye defending an
  orphanage from a killer!"
  <TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost it deep in the amazon!"
  <TheShadowHunter> "Hes so mysterious!"
  <TheShadowHunter> "So sexy!"
  <TheShadowHunter> and all the ladies would want me
  <TheShadowHunter> till I tell them I was running with
  silverware and stabbed myself in the eye with a fork


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741526
text:
  <Al> people are often friendly until they learn what an
  irretrievable shit-pit the world is and what a sick, worthless
  collection of misshapen animals comprises the human species
  <DogWelder> I like to think of it as boot camp, then hell.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741580
text:
  <Wargon> RPC exploit grrrrrrr
  <Wargon> blocked the ports now
  <tfg> AOL blocks all that shit for me by default
  <tfg> They clearly know what 99% of their users are like
  <Spanky-G> like?
  <Spanky-G> 99% of their users hardly know what a computer is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741641
text:
  <mowgli> Nicolai why are your faces allways backwards?
  <Nicolai> what? ._o
  <Mertek> He's european. It seems like everyone I've ever met
  from Europe has used backwards smileys.
  <Mertek> There's no other way to do D: though.
  <mowgli> : D
  <Spazmo> :D != D:
  <Spazmo> I got laid :D She had herpes D:


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741699
text:
  <kisama_> that's why i like anime
  <Guilty> Maybe
  <kisama_> because the anime is usually good enough to merit a
  dvd
  <kisama_> not like this shit from the u.s. like power rangers
  <Guilty> I know they made some straight to video
  "movie"-majiggers
  <kisama_> and power rangers extrafalarious fantabulous
  galactic sorcerer
  edition with new cast because the old ones got
  teased at school
  super megatronic edition


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741788
text:
  <zaney> i sued to be smart but then my father, he fond out i
  wsa gay so eh ebaten me very baddly on the haad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907573
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741846
text:
  <Shadye> reboot: gibb0r us pic of your wife
  <reboot> if I ever find one, I'll scan it
  <ArtecMice> drug her and scan her face
  <reboot> there's an idea, and I could get sex at the same time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907573
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741896
text:
  <World_Corrupt> I once knew this guy who was 45 and we were
  good friends. and i was 11 then
  <ascian> you didn't meet him in a bathroom, did you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907573
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.741985
text:
  <snagger> ever noticed at the olympics, black people are good
  at running, and white people good at shooting?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742037
text:
  <EmersonOw> so he is a how do i put it
  <EmersonOw> "funny guy"
  <EmersonOw> not funny ha ha
  <EmersonOw> but funny GAY


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742140
text:
  <Zakk> Lash you are crossing a train track and you find a
  naked woman tied to it and a train is comeing. Is this
  awesome?
  <Lash2828> Of course
  <Lash2828> Stupid question
  <Zakk> even though shes going to get killed by the train
  <Lash2828> How long untill the train hits?
  <Zakk> like
  <Zakk> 1 minute
  <Lash2828> Thats enough for me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742199
text:
  <daenonon^II> lol
  <daenonon^II> i got pr0n downloading on limewire when this pop
  up ad comes up
  <daenonon^II> about some kind of pyramid scam
  <daenonon^II> and somehow the search results window of
  limewire didn't get covered by the testimonials of the pop up
  <daenonon^II> "as a single mom, i like how hardcore fucking
  gets xtreme!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742293
text:
  <6ix4our> Why did Mordor collapse?
  <baumann> global warming
  <6ix4our> A: It was on a Tolkein Ring network
  <baumann> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742339
text:
  <@Chaz> How the hell it went through a folded-over (two
  layers) sock is beyond me...
  <Nyphur> ... o_0


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742391
text:
  ** You are now chatting in #fantendo
  <Corbeb>: i've just realized that we talk about porn here more
  than we talk about fantendo
  <Corbeb>: lol
  <NoontimeYoshi>: whats a fantendo
  <Hemu>: fantendo?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742440
text:
  <dbaker> Whoever thinks rc5-64 will be cracked in 50 years is
  an idiot.
  <dbaker> It'll be cracked before the end of 1998.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742548
text:
  <achan> DigDug: 'ascetic' is maybe the word you're looking for
  <DigDug> ascetic?
  <DigDug> I don't know such a word. :/
  <achan> someone who lives a monastic life outside of a
  monestary
  <DigDug> Ahh.
  <DigDug> Is there a term for someone who lives a monastic life
  on the Internet?
  <Medieval> yes, e-scetic.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742596
text:
  <evLJim> EMERGENCY!!!
  <evLJim> a new energy drink from the UK
  <evLJim> it sends you right to the hospital!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742701
text:
  <crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever
  <Invictus> ?
  <TheBlackCupid> ...
  <ShadesFox> oh?
  <Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly?
  <Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay....
  <crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742755
text:
  <TheMadHatter> I eat heads.
  <Devilution> Felatio doesn't exactly qualify as head eating...
  <Devilution> but keep trying.
  <TheMadHatter> No, you completely misunderstood, I eat heads!
  <Devilution> No you completely misunderstood, suck my dick!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742864
text:
  <Percy> No wonder this place is empty.
  <Percy> Who uses windows 95?
  <Percy> No one.
  <Percy> It's like seeing a mac gamer.
  <Percy> Doesn't happen.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.742972
text:
  * Hotaru dances more.
  <Hotaru> o-<
  <Hotaru> o-<
  <Hotaru> o-<
  <Hotaru> I suck at dancing.
  <Vulpes> God help us if you ever try breakdancing.
  <Hotaru> o/`>-


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743076
text:
  <never> hey... question......
  <never> i'm new to irc stuff and i'm trying to download mp3's
  through it
  <never> know of any good servers? i've come up with
  irc.dal.net but that's it
  <kirun> irc.riaa.org
  <never> k thanks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743172
text:
  <makfu> So CaNaBiS, you totally walked into the bathroom and
  some dood was washing his pants?!
  <CaNaBiS> makfu, yeah, it was in the public restroom
  <CaNaBiS> he was naked in front of the sink washing his shit
  stained pants
  <CaNaBiS> with no shoes on
  <naphtali> You should have asked him for some change for the
  soda machine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743226
text:
  <reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers.
  <reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again.
  <reuben> anything witty is only witty once
  <reuben> hey
  <reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743276
text:
  <booyaa> i'm getting horrible pains thru my finger tips
  <sy> booyaa: that's me attempting to kick your ass over the
  internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743324
text:
  <teh_xero> Elderly man robs pharmacy for the fourth time.
  Makes off with full stock of Viagra once again
  <OrgnGrndr> talk about a "hardened criminal"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743380
text:
  <Jonathan> So, let's assume I have a display connected via
  DVI.
  <jimmy> yes jonathan your porno will be crystal clear
  <Jonathan> jimmy: but I like my porno to be all smeary and
  blurry like I'm in an adult theater with some fat smelly guy
  pulling his crank behind my seat!
  <jimmy> then you need to use the native windows drivers for
  your video card
  <Jonathan> Okay, thanks.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743446
text:
  <Matt-san> Over the hill women have experience. :)
  <Kataclysm> And saggy boobz
  <Matt-san> They flop back and forth like mudflaps.
  <Kataclysm> Thank you for the lovely visual, Matt.
  <Raiden> Its like when you go to the nursing home
  <Raiden> and say "SHOW ME YOUR TITS"
  <Kataclysm> I'm going to kill you now. Please don't take it
  personal.
  <Raiden> and they take off their pants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743534
text:
  jeudrietr: cuz i aint no hollaback girl
  dizzygurl_27: is a hollaback girl a slut?
  dizzygurl_27: lol
  dizzygurl_27: *thinks*
  jeudrietr: lol no
  jeudrietr: its a girl who yells back instead of just kicking
  someones ass
  jeudrietr: theres more to it, but the rest cant be translated
  into white terms
  jeudrietr: sorry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743584
text:
  <@Majistic> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 39 is:
  <@Majistic>            (Geography) What is the basic unit of
  currency for Syria ?
  <MEBKlaymen> children
  <evol> women


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743666
text:
  <Foxie> "My family was asking me all these nosey-ass
  questions, 'When are you going to find a woman?', 'When are
  you going to get married?', 'When are you going to have
  childeren?', then my grandmother was like "Maybe he donesn't
  like chochate..." and I was like "it's not like I don't like
  chochlate, it's that I don't like it without nuts."
  <Foxie> "So my uncle was like "You're gay?! You don't look
  gay!!", so I said "Yes, I'm one of the newer models, I'm a
  stealth fag."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743720
text:
  <Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!
  <Snipa> what?
  <Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked,
  and now i have to get tested for aids.
  <Snipa> Think positive
  <Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743761
text:
  *** Jim Smith has quit IRC (Quit: MAH GAWD!  New Mexico just
  hit Al Gore with that steel chair!  DAMN YOU, NEW MEXICO!
  Why?  Why?  Why?!  Tell me why, you sonsabitches!)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743807
text:
  "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like
  two minutes.
  When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two
  hours.
  That's relativity."
  - Albert Einstein


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743851
text:
  <Raider^> Hey there, i got this new version of mirc, i should
  be in invisible mode, if anyone can see my sentance please
  reply.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743900
text:
  <iibbmm> Stupid World of Warcraft.
  <iibbmm> I have no money, I have no skills.  All of the hot
  hot elvin women are dancing with the big warrior guys.  It's
  college all over again.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.743951
text:
  omg omg wtf n00b: y'know what's hilarious?
  omg omg wtf n00b: when people boast about what they do on the
  internet
  omg omg wtf n00b: "omg im so drunk right now i had like 20
  captain morgans"
  omg omg wtf n00b: and "omg im gonna get laid tonight its gonna
  be amazing"
  Americandude23: yeah.  thats why i dont use irc.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744022
text:
  <Pyros> a little girl sees her mum standing in the shower, she
  points at her boobies and asks "what's that mum" to which her
  mum replied "these are breasts", then the girl asks "when will
  i get those", to which her mum replied "when you're older.
  Later she sees her dad in the shower, she points to his penis
  and asks "what's that daddy?" to which he replies "it's a
  penis". She asks "when will i get one of those", the reply is
  "when your mother leaves for work".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744069
text:
  <frostyburn> damn it, there needs to be an auto-formatting
  script in word that will automatically change all margins to
  1.10 inches, spacing to 2.10, font size to 12.5, and
  intermittently paste quotes from no name fuck faces... because
  i'm getting tired of turning a 3 page paper into a 4 page
  paper all by myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744117
text:
  <Wingzy> crud, you should come to windsor some day
  <crudmonky> Wingzy: i would, but i have recurring nightmares
  that i might find myself stuck in canada
  <crudmonky> and a sole frenchman armed with just a white flag
  would invade and win


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744167
text:
  <Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France?
  <sands> it'd be boring as shit
  <sands> all the zombies would run away


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744210
text:
  Cope: we have been so bored at work we made a sport
  Cope: we call it condomball
  Cope: theres a used condom thrown in the ally and if the ball
  touches it the game is over forever


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744254
text:
  (Jani) the wii is going to get raped in the console war
  (Jani) unless xbox360's start exploding like dell laptops
  (%Ransom) ps3 will destroy everything
  (Jani) including your wallet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744302
text:
  <HF|Chemical_X> shaddup canadian
  <HF|Chemical_X> everybody knows that your country and france
  share one bar of soap a year.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744354
text:
  <FuzLogic> I never did figure out how to open the damn doors
  on the landing boats.
  <mirth> "how i survived normandy" by FuzLogic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744412
text:
  <MindRape> don't mind me, i'm divorced =)
  <MindRape> still going thru the damn thing
  <MindRape> she's sueing me for my penis
  <Deeply> suing you for your penis?
  <MindRape> yea, its bigger than hers :>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744454
text:
  OnlineHost:  Sheila41428 has entered the room.
  d00d903:     hi there sheila! 17/m/tx wanna cyber?
  Sheila41428: sure
  d00d903:     asl
  Sheila41428: 48/f/tx
  d00d903:     the hell? mom?
  Sheila41428: OH JESUS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
  OnlineHost:  Sheila41328 has left the room.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744501
text:
  [02:16:02] <iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
  [02:16:12] <AlmtyBob> the question is
  [02:16:16] <AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744554
text:
  <Athena-X> have you ever tried to make a ':|' face in real
  life? try and do it without looking stupid and/or retarded.
  it's quite a challenge!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744666
text:
  <Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
  <@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
  <Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help
  *clap* *clap*
  <@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
  <@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://
  dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
  <Cedaie> yeah thats the one
  <Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
  <@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744720
text:
  <_Pete_> my abs have never looked so good in my life after
  losing these 10 pounds fast :D soon they'll turn to flab
  through lack of use though :(
  <Avium> Pete you sound kind of gay
  <Avium> no offense you sack of shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744771
text:
  <rankor> At work today i saw a guy go in to the bathroom only
  to come out 10 minutes later looking like he had battled with
  a lion.
  <rankor> Now he had either had something bad for lunch or just
  hade one of the worlds longest "handshaking" sessions.
  <ToonLord> Maybe both...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744873
text:
  <Flirbnic> I want my foreskin back :(
  <Jim`> I don't have any extra to give you, Flirb, or I would.
  <Jim`> People who choose to be circumsized later in life
  should donate their foreskins to be grafted on to poor penises
  like yours. Wouldn't it be cool if they grafted a black guy's
  on?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.744923
text:
  "The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he
  reads the silly,
  flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be
  pointed out to
  intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
  The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg
  Address.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745044
text:
  <Fiction> man, I LOVE Sigue Sigue Sputnik so MUCH!!!!
  <Fiction> they're almost as good as Catholic Discipline
  <MaCk> then why don't you marry it
  <Fiction> cause I want to marry you, Mack
  <MaCk> ewh
  <[enki]> I think you had that one coming, Mack.
  <[enki]> Besides, I told you he'd get the wrong impression if
  you sent him those chocolates.
  * Fiction makes moon eyes at mack
  * [enki] shakes his head.
  <[enki]> I knew this would happen.
  * Fiction writes bad poetry about his love for mack
  * [enki] preps the firehose.
  * Fiction buys a harley and a tshirt that says: "if you can
  read this, Mack fell off" on the back
  <Fiction> someday I'll buy you a cubic-zirconium ring and we
  can move to a trailer in Rock Springs Wyoming
  <Fiction> we'll be so happy!
  <[enki]> And you'll drive a 78 Camaro to work.
  <Fiction> YEAH!
  <Fiction> only "work" is hanging out at the local high school
  selling crank to teenagers
  <MaCk> SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT
  UP!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  <MaCk> someone is going to die
  <Fiction> and mack can learn how to make casseroles with
  potato chips in them
  <[enki]> And get denim fringe jackets.
  <Fiction> and we'll drink coors
  <MaCk> I hate you guys
  <Fiction> cheer up, I'll get some real wood panelling to put
  up in our trailer
  <Fiction> or at least I'll tell you it's real
  <Fiction> and we'll live on food stamps but have 300 channels
  of DirectTV
  <MaCk> I hate you all
  <Fiction> c'mon baby, you're hot with a capital HO!
  <[enki]> LOL
  *** MaCk has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745087
text:
  tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my
  body that I could have sex with
  Oogy Boots: :O
  tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
  tatsumio: imagine.
  Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
  tatsumio: double orgasm
  CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really
  weird.
  CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
  CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
  Oogy Boots: LOL
  CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745155
text:
  <kuruption> OMG I HATE LINUX USERS
  <kuruption> this guys gave me a shell on his box
  <kuruption> and vi is symlinked to pico!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745187
text:
  <@Karnaugh> amazing, Cat5 seems reletivly imune to cellphone
  radiation
  <@Pandaemon> Karnaugh: you're going to start wearing a Cat5
  turban, aren't you?
  <@Karnaugh> Pandaemon: Thats what all the arabian hackers wear
  these days


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745231
text:
  <Mime> Fruit Pastelles are also acceptable.
  <Mime> As are Wine Gums.
  <Chris_A> Oh yeah.
  <Chris_A> But never Fruit Gums.
  <Mime> No.
  <Chris_A> It's like the worst half of each!
  <Mime> Wine Pastelles!
  <Chris_A> Note to self: Invent Win...
  <Chris_A> ...Mime, I'm going to have to kill you.
  <Chris_A> You know too much.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745262
text:
  * Brooke just adores the way you people try to worm out of
  stuff.  <G>  "Could you explain it to Brooke?"  "I'd love to,
  but I'm right in the middle of chewing my hand off."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745300
text:
  <@KrayWolf> Microsoft Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and
  graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit
  operating system originally coded for a four-bit
  microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that
  can't stand one bit of competition.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745347
text:
  <MistaED> i've got a great backup idea, get what you want
  important backed up like work docs and stuff, then zip it all
  up, encrypt it, then rename it to a porn name .avi and put it
  into kazaa!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745454
text:
  <Fetch#acknak> 19 apache processes
  <Fetch#acknak> I think maybe your mail server has a problem ;)
  <karlitoX#acknak> are those forked or threaded
  <Fetch#acknak> karlitoX: does it matter? its a mail server ;)
  <karlitoX#acknak> it's a mail server with aspirations!  do not
  stifle it's creativity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745499
text:
  * @andy blows his load.
  * Khross eats a child.
  <@andy> we all react differently to surprise gifts.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745547
text:
  <Pozzi> My comments will be well structured, mature and on
  topic at all times.
  <Pozzi> Now fuck you all!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745598
text:
  <Alby_Fox> if pirating movies was an olympic sport I'd be
  canada
  <Alby_Fox> or some other country
  <Alby_Fox> that loses


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745648
text:
  <Josh> i ogtta go to an apointment
  <Josh> i cant spell
  <Josh> ps its not a spelling appt
  <Phil> smart of you to abbreviate it the second time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745701
text:
  <Targen> you know, I had a dream with some soldat in it
  <Targen> and also that sniper guy
  <Targen> and also some stuff about a girl
  <Targen> and also these weird people whose anuses were all the
  way up behind their chest
  <Targen> (seriously)
  <Maxrpg> sounds like a music video!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745773
text:
  <DaRk_oDiN>: So I get this notice in the mail saying my
  application was accepted at this college I applied to.
  <DaRk_oDiN>: And I'm looking to get my degree in Computer
  Science and Technology from these people...
  <DaRk_oDiN>: So, they schedule a placement test for me to take
  to see what ther classes I need to take.
  <DaRk_oDiN>: That placement test happens to be on their
  website...
  <DaRk_oDiN>: Turns out, their servers are friggen broken and I
  have to reschedule my placement test after witing for like two
  hours.
  <DaRk_oDiN>: And I want these people to teach ME how to work
  on computers -_-
  <DaRk_oDiN>: Maybe they wanted to show me the universal
  protocol of bullshitting your customers.
  <DaRk_oDiN>: I mean, that's like me going to a culinary school
  and they're like "Sorry, we can't seem to figure out how this
  damn over turns on, you're gonna have to come back later."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745823
text:
  <Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
  <Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with
  my balls
  <bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the
  compliment, i will be calling your mother
  <Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745915
text:
  Opti: i was really bored... had 2 options... 1) watch paint
  dry  2) come to #general
  Opti: i chose the paint...
  Opti: but thats dry now :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.745961
text:
  <bayoab> If i take the hard drive out, will it lose all the
  information?
  <Quixzlizx> not if you have a floppy drive!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746009
text:
  <CiXeL> if you have zillions of bbses in a billion ips using
  strong encryption all over, GAME OVER GOVT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746054
text:
  <deathwarrior> time out baron
  *** SignOff Baron: #doomino (Ping timeout for Baron
  [h24-66-172-59.du.shawcable.net])


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907598
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746100
text:
  Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want
  exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that
  I would never want her to have
  Yesterday Dying : like a penis
  Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would
  be at the top of the list


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907598
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746152
text:
  <Nyphur> Everything I say is a lie.
  <Nyphur> I AM COMPULSIVE LIAR!
  <CWGerard> Oh no, what to believe!!!
  <CWGerard> I ARE BORK!  DOWNLOAD TEH PATCH!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907598
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746214
text:
  <PSX> my ex told me she was late one time.. i kept telling her
  "yea, its going to be ok babe" but in my head i was saying
  "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCCCCCK FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!@#%"
  <Skier> heh
  <robs> psx: been there done that
  <`Nemesis> they call "I'm pregnant, call me!" and then you
  fedex them a coathanger with a note that says "You know what
  to do.". They generally don't call back after that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746360
text:
  <synthmesc> is it narcassitic to jack off to a picture of
  yourself?
  <Digested> synthmesc: it seems to fit the definition
  <synthmesc> :/
  <Digested> synthmesc: is it a picture of yourself fucking
  someone else?
  <synthmesc> it's a picture of me jacking of to a picture of
  myself
  <Digested> INFINITE LOOP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746414
text:
  <Ac3-Drakenon> when i was with pure at the laser tag place
  there were some asians and i yelled
  <Ac3-Drakenon> "I LIKE FLIED LICE"
  <mr`bob> and then they kicked ur ass?
  <Ac3-Drakenon> lol no, they were lil fat asians
  <Ac3-Drakenon> i step on them and get blubber on my shoe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746467
text:
  <jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
  <jodaro> mm, free food
  <stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
  <jodaro> no
  <stu> damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746532
text:
  <SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't
  breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline
  <Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
  <SamGod> Coda:  'cuz I smell like gasoline
  <Coda> why?
  <SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my
  sleve for warmth for a few hours last night
  <Twist-> See? he is a psycho.
  <SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve,
  then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc...
  <Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746649
text:
  <fearz> lol
  <fearz> better than my case
  <fearz> the police caught me with 20 cc's
  <xvx> woops
  <fearz> i got probation for a year
  <xvx> that sucks
  <fearz> and had to repay like $4000
  <xvx> damn
  <xvx> that doesnt look good on a record
  <xvx> fraud at the age of 15
  <fearz> lol
  <fearz> hell, it looks perfect now with all the other shit
  <fearz> heh
  <xvx> hahahah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746749
text:
  <st1gg0r> they might roll back
  <DooMStalK> (12:19:03 AM): Are you making some overt comment
  about my former occupation?
  <st1gg0r> possibly
  <DooMStalK> Well then I'm overtly telling you to eat dick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746846
text:
  <MTZ> UH! - incoming mail ... pretty late today
  <SNeAK> how can mail be late ? slow computa ?
  <MTZ> LOL - im talking about REAL mail


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746891
text:
  cptchris F O O: i was measureing my dick and it said 10 in, i
  was happy till i realized the ruler was backwards


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746938
text:
  <[Kindred]Fatsaq> i was drunk once and i threw up and it
  looked like hamburger helper and i almost convinced a friend
  to eat it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.746979
text:
  durandal: see, a whore is a girl who sleeps with everyone... a
  bitch is a girl who sleeps with everyone but you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747077
text:
  <Mike_McCormick> how do you change your name? i tried /nick
  Mike but it won't work
  <Mike> that's because I have that one dingleberry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747125
text:
  <dsully> please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less.
  <jwb> you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747181
text:
  <FelixB> I will never forget seeing our neighbourhood kids
  jerk off a horse. :)
  <FelixB> These two kids were just completely fascinated by
  this young stallion's erection.
  <FelixB> So they started playing with it.
  <FelixB> The horse was enjoying it and just stood there. :)
  <FelixB> The inevitable happenned....all over one of the kids.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747224
text:
  Jokulhaups: I bet that when gays were kids, they always tried
  to shove the cylinder in the star shaped hole.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747282
text:
  <MMouse> the dates I started and left positions "dont give an
  accurate impression of how long you worked at that position"
  <drewb> god, it almost sounds like you were deliberately vague
  about dates to hide the fact you didnt last long in a job..
  <Tippytoes> what format did you put the dates in, max?
  <SataniKKa> roman numerals
  <Sep> binary
  <SataniKKa> Monday is not a date.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747324
text:
  (DownKaos): free phone sex....tight
  (DownKaos): what is it
  (dvast8): KIS-SASS
  (DownKaos): I hate to think what your day job is with a phone
  # like that
  (dvast8): union rep
  (DownKaos): so worse then a gay male prostitute


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747467
text:
  <Grumbledook> my mum told me off for saying fuck in front of
  her
  <bodhi> hmmm
  <bodhi> my dad bollocks me for saying piss in the house
  <Grumbledook> :P
  <dave> my mum told me off for shitting on a plate and putting
  it in the fridge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747519
text:
  <Krameras> i know somebody who doesnt want to watch the
  Simpsons because its "too derogatory"
  <CyberThor> Yeah. It's offencive to yellows everywhere!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747560
text:
  * EndersShadow remembers erector sets, you had to buy several
  before you had enough parts to have a big erection


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747616
text:
  <iggypop> i told my gf some shit when i was drunk, and now
  she's like "you weren't just saying that because you were
  drunk, were you?"
  <iggypop> and i don't have a fucking clue what i said


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747657
text:
  cherrybomb1739: why are there hot chicks at church ?
  marredduck: why is the good liquor always on the top shelf?
  marredduck: the same reason


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747722
text:
  <lonelyfig> who here can name all the punk bands that have won
  Grammy's?
  <Lawd> u2 and umm
  <Lawd> fuck thats it
  <nXwetrust> u2 punk?.......
  <lonelyfig> U2 = not a punk band
  <Lawd> yeah they are
  <blazemore> hahaha
  <lonelyfig> no they arent
  <Lawd> they started out as a punk band
  <blazemore> michael jackson also started out as a black person
  <Lawd> haha wtf :|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747768
text:
  Master : You know, i just dont want to hurt you with my
  questions, its just my art to speak directly, so its better if
  you simply start to tell something about your life and so on.
  Animegirl : You are so funny ^^, dont worry if i dont want to
  answer your question, i gonna say it to you, its really hard
  to insult me just asking something :)
  Master : Well... So, what do you prefer : ananas, strawberry,
  apple or peach ?
  Animegirl : Wow :) Well, didnt expect this question, but it
  absolutely didnt insult me :) I prefer apple, why ?
  Master : I was just thinking about which taste shoud condoms
  have when i gonna come to you
  AniBot : Animegirl has left the "anime" channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747822
text:
  <@Megaman984> So, would the Old Testament be First Edition,
  New Testament Second, and the Koran Third?
  <+MegamanX2K> yeah
  <+MegamanX2K> which explains the crusades
  <+MegamanX2K> they were burning 3rd edition heretics
  <+MegamanX2K> good thing Jerusalem made a saving throw


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747877
text:
  <Geologist[afkr]> knock knock
  <thebigmike1983[FARK]> who's there?
  <Geologist[afkr]> 9/11
  <thebigmike1983[FARK]> 9/11 who?
  <Geologist[afkr]> YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747921
text:
  <RtWhO> oh shit the shower hurt me......I got in turned the
  water on, the water pressure is amazing, well anyways it
  knocked me down....I hurt my ass bone


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.747969
text:
  <Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios
  shirt on.
  <Psifire> And something occured to me.
  <Vykuzich> pants?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748015
text:
  <DN-Mark> touch and taste are basically the same
  <Jude> Please... I dare you to go squeeze a donut in your fist
  until you can feel how sugary and sweet it is.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748065
text:
  <Alien8or> I was using a silicon gel to jack off. i had a
  little accident.
  <Alien8or> i was really rushing and then when I cummed i rest
  for a bit. The silicon dried and where the silicon squished
  between my fingers are little spieks. I got a spiked cock!
  <Alien8or> heh, wait, its spiked Darth Maul style, this owns!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748112
text:
  tchristney: Cheating is like masturbation. Feels good while
  you're doing it but once you're finished it only emphasizes
  how empty and shallow your life really is.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748260
text:
  <Phryss> Sometimes, I sit back and think about what my father
  used to tell me about the birds and the bees: "Stop fucking
  the dog.  The neighbors are watching, and it's their dog."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748309
text:
  <Afghani> hi
  <Afghani> h r u?
  <zebra> what the hell kind of language is that?
  <zebra> are you fucking fingerly impaired or something?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748372
text:
  <Sede> That's a big word.. does it mean 'blowjob'?
  <Potato> I thought that was "affection".
  <Nyphur> Affection, Blowjob, same thing, isn't it?
  <Potato> That's how I was raised.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748421
text:
  <KJ> I was in a shop in Britain, when an American tourist in
  front of me tried to pay for something in US dollars. The shop
  keeper politely told her that this was Britain, and you can't
  use U.S. dollars here. The lady replied... "But I had no
  problems in other third world countries"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748479
text:
  <mrfy> "If you're a technology early adopter, but you're not
  in the first wave of 'bleeding edge' users, then you're on the
  scabby edge (where the bleeding edge has crusted over, but
  it's still raw)."
  <Rascal> this is why johnny come latelies get picked on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748529
text:
  <tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that
  a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter
  per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365
  would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before
  the heat death of the universe. So there.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748579
text:
  <Jeeba|FG> I think all Juvenile Delinquents should be sent to
  spend 5 months with me.
  <Sunn_Toucher> Are you a law figure?
  <Jeeba|FG> No
  <Jeeba|FG> Im a child molester.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748635
text:
  <Mullet_Man> its so retarded when people r trying to type lots
  of !!!'s
  <Mullet_Man> there all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
  <Mullet_Man> i mean, is it really that damned hard to type
  "!!!!1"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748691
text:
  <tak>: wanna play a game?
  <krplunkr: like what
  <tak> Pearl Harbor
  <krplunkr> sounsd fun
  <krplunkr> how do i play?
  <tak> I lay there, and you blow the hell out of me
  <krplunkr> wait
  <krplunkr> im confused


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748740
text:
  <wabbit> ok ... we dont choose what cum tastes like ...
  otherwise it would taste a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748790
text:
  *** Joins: Tallpaul
  *** Semper is now known as Smallpaul
  *** Smallpaul is now known as Semper
  *** Tallpaul is now known as Semper_is_gay
  *** Semper is now known as Tallpaul
  *** Semper_is_gay is now known as Semper
  *** Quits: Semper (Kill by NickServ (RECOVER command used by
  Tallpaul))
  *** Tallpaul is now known as Semper
  <Semper> I'm a dick
  <Semper> :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748844
text:
  <surfer_girl> hi
  <negativepositive> your nick has "scary 40 year old naked guy"
  written all over it
  <surfer_girl> asl plz
  <negativepositive> that just drives it home


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748896
text:
  * Ksu eats a bowl of crappy generic macaroni
  * SSL_Eefui idly drinks arsnic.
  * Nigelenki stops fui o.o
  <Nigelenki> arsenic isn't edible o.o;;
  <Shadow> Yes, it is
  <Shadow> But only once


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.748944
text:
  <@Beesta> damn
  <@Beesta> I really need a sewing machine.
  <@Pandaemon> Beesta, of course, is very secure in his
  masculinity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749001
text:
  <Folkomo> So in class today we were playing guesstures or
  password- one of those games you have to guess a word or
  phrase- my friend apparently got T.V., but I didn't know that.
  He got up and said "Back in my Grandma's days, these used to
  only be black and white."
  <Folkomo> I fucked up and said "water fountains" outloud.
  <Folkomo> ...thats why I got detention.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749050
text:
  *** beltic has joined #html
  <beltic> hey folks..
  <beltic> anyone know of a good php chan?
  <myn> #php
  <beltic> thanks.
  *** beltic has left #html


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749108
text:
  <Saber> I had a full can of soda
  <Saber> and I slipped
  <Saber> and dropped it above my KB
  <Saber> and I caught it
  <Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
  <Saber> so I  inverted it
  <Saber> and it turns out
  <Saber> it was rightside up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749152
text:
  <FreshBrew> if i ever get arrested for something serious, 20/
  20 and Dateline are going to have a field day with my irc
  logs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749298
text:
  <Zenholder> JavaScript kicks ass
  <Nanobot> JavaScript sucks ass
  <Nanobot> You were off by two letters


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749342
text:
  zadijan:  CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001, Viagra will
  only be available through chemists by its chemical name. So
  please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you.
  zadijan:  ... OH MY GOD
  zadijan:  THAT WAS THE BEST EMAIL I EVER RECEIVED
  zadijan:  EVER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749392
text:
  <N3xtAxchunz3r0> y'ever had to take a shit, but were already
  listening to music and playing gameboy so you went in the
  bathroom with your headphones and gameboy, took a shit, and
  didn't come out for 2 hours cuz you still needed to catch a
  friggin pikachu?
  <N3xtAxchunz3r0> I have..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749499
text:
  <ubmentor> guys..greatest dialogue ever
  <ubmentor> check this out
  <ubmentor> girl: oh my god, that was incredible
  <ubmentor> guy: yeah.. you're amazing.  you almost made me
  come
  <ubmentor> girl: what?! then what the hell did I swallow?!
  <SilentSnipa> hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749564
text:
  <Nikita> we got like a foot of snow today
  <Nikita> it sucked
  --> stef (vix@staff.root.gg) has joined #lameindustries
  --- LameServ gives channel half-operator status to stef
  <Nikita> i shoveled the driveway and the stairs
  <Iced_Eyes> hehe
  <Iced_Eyes> i only got about 4 and 1/2 inches
  <stef> argh! stupid dialup
  <Rav3n> i remeber the good old days
  <Rav3n> when i used to say that
  <Rav3n> heh
  <Nikita> stupid dialupt or only 4.5 inches?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749612
text:
  <cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
  <HardCore> did it lift u off?
  <cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749668
text:
  <echeese> Women are shitty programmers because they are
  emotional and irrational.
  <echeese> Man: My program won't work, I must have written it
  incorrectly.
  <echeese> Woman: My program won't work, the computer must hate
  me. Let's go shopping.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749716
text:
  <timmo> remember how i told you guys about that chick
  <timmo> i was talking to in the record store
  <McMoo> the imaginary one?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749763
text:
  <fireserve> now, if you were to say "you stupid elephant cock
  sucker" in a font like apple chancery, it would be rude yet
  classy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749816
text:
  < Bayls > Sheesus. Was it this dead -before- I got here? :)
  < annie > yeah
  < Bayls > Hmmm, musta been. Weird, I didn't see any Star Trek
  marathons on tonight.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749882
text:
  <ExS> McDonalds
  <ExS>  "Mick-Don-Ulds"
  <ExS> A handy substitute for food, in the same way that piss
  is a handy substitute for fresh drinking water.
  <ExS> Dude: "Why are you holding a turd in your hand? OH MY
  GOD, DON'T PUT THAT TURD IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!"
  <ExS> Other dude: "It's McDonalds."
  <ExS> Dude: "Oh! Can I have a bite?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.749941
text:
  <GoreJanez> I hate that captain of Enterprise from star trek
  <GoreJanez> He's like an irc-newby
  <GoreJanez> when he meets someone in space, he's all like:
  "hi, how are you, where are you from, wanna be my friend?"
  <R_Nereda> #gothicmetal solar system would be his final
  frontier
  <GoreJanez> he'd got attacked by ban-beams in no time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750032
text:
  <jude> First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing
  because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the
  nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750084
text:
  <gav_> Myst : your gonna do something other than irc??
  <mystican> yea exactly
  <gav_> cool
  <gav_> what channel?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750149
text:
  <WoHo> jacob I have the highest grades in english in mah class
  :[
  <WoHo> my only prob is that I facken write in class like I
  write on irc
  <WoHo> my teachers comes up to me and asks
  <Nold> rofl
  <WoHo> wats ppl ?
  <WoHo> wats r ?
  <Nold> lol
  <WoHo> wats mah ?
  <WoHo> dude
  <Nold> lolu
  <WoHo> its bad :[


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750197
text:
  <FreshBrew> i dont know why i floss before i go to the dentist
  <FreshBrew> i never ever do it
  <FreshBrew> its like going to the doctor and pretending not to
  be sick so he doesnt yell at you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750242
text:
  * Ardham refuses to put flamable objects in close proximity to
  his manhood.... though it may have prevented the 3 kids he has
  now.
  <Tierrie_> Its not too late to put flamable objects near your
  kids


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750290
text:
  <Dude> did ya hear poland bought 5000 septic tanks?
  <DatDawg> why?
  <Dude> as soon as the figure out how to drive them there
  invading russia


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750335
text:
  CcLpRPG:  it was like, my friend saw a chick at the movies,
  but she had a boyfriend
  CcLpRPG:  My friend says, screw him
  CcLpRPG:  I say, you screw him, i'll screw her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750393
text:
  <Ven> Fuck
  <Ven> This is a long shot, but
  <Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector
  for the CPS2 arcade system?
  <Ven> Oh fuck!
  <Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750441
text:
  <Japhro> cams: think you can try and mention e3 a few more
  times, I don't think I ignored you enough the first few times.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750486
text:
  [Dainichi] I want a penis! Hell, you have a penis, you can
  masturbate anywhere!
  [Dainichi] For a woman to do it RIGHT, she has to lay down.
  Man gets a boner in the kitchen, he can wack off in the
  kitchen.
  [Dainichi] If I had a penis...I'd lock myself in my room for
  so long that my friends and family would probably end up
  calling missing persons on me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750533
text:
  <@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor
  and dont share any files on any p2p networks
  <@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3
  just like you dont want   to wait an hour to upload it so lets
  cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907623
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750585
text:
  * Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...
  * Santa_Clause is now known as Steve
  <Steve> >_>
  <Steve> <_<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750629
text:
  * Ozak-shower hugs everyone
  * Solinus runs from ozak
  <Ozak-shower> oh shit
  * Ozak-shower is now known as Ozak-Clothed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750798
text:
  <Ronwe> /slap -chainsaw "joojoo"
  <joojoo> /slap -cock "Ronwe"
  <joojoo> =x~
  <Ronwe> it's not big enough to hurt
  <joojoo> Text generally doesn't.
  <Ronwe> interesting... your cock is text
  <joojoo> Whoever said that?
  <joojoo> Whoever said I was using my "cock"~#@E Q&!#*(
  <joojoo> AHAH
  <joojoo> WOW LETS GET ANALLY TECHNICAL NOW =]
  <Ronwe> Do me a favour
  <Ronwe> Don't use the word anal when we're talking about cocks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750868
text:
  * JosephKer on 2.4.14
  <Snarf> exciting ;>
  <JosephKer> yup! I got my kernel down to like 600k though
  <Snarf> nice ;>
  <^xman^> kernels below 1 mb are for pussies
  <^xman^> kernels over 2 mb are for men
  <JosephKer> hehe
  <JosephKer> It's not how BIG your kernel is, it's how you use
  it!
  <BombScare> sure...thats why girls always laugh at you when
  you pull out your kernel
  <JosephKer> Then I set them straight with a good fsck'ing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750922
text:
  <Blizzard> Man, we have a female wrestler on our team
  <Nucleotide> We care why?
  <Blizzard> She's PREGNANT
  <Sirdoudofapples> Hmmm...
  <Sirdoudofapples> Seems like an inefficient way to move up in
  weight class...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.750973
text:
  <GamespitterZ420> i wanted to know why your name is blue and
  why it has an @in front of it?
  <@Shadoe> I'm a fucking smurf with a tumor
  <GamespitterZ420> damn sorry dude my condolences


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751025
text:
  <magusXXX> I think it's funny that roxio wants to buy napster.
  <magusXXX> "You steal it, we'll burn it!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751074
text:
  <jasn> if i ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have
  a 'song'  together,  after i laugh
  <jasn> i shall suggest master p - you can be my bitch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751137
text:
  <Bijiy> SEABISCUIT!!!
  <[On-Air]NiM> Bijiy
  <[On-Air]NiM> I watched that movie with my mom
  <Bijiy> I did too
  <[On-Air]NiM> I will never watch a movie with my mom again
  <Bijiy> same
  <[On-Air]NiM> at the part in the stable she was like
  <[On-Air]NiM> WOW LOOK AT HOW BIG THE HORSES C0CK IS
  <Bijiy> heh
  <[On-Air]NiM> and I was like, OMG PLEASE NO...
  <Bijiy> hahahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751189
text:
  <Jenna> how was your weekend?
  <ChrisLTD> it was good!
  <ChrisLTD> no unprotected sex though
  <ChrisLTD> very sad
  <Jenna> oh, so sorry, i know how important meeting the
  unprotected sex quota is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907627
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751245
text:
  <Trauma> if shes hot and 12
  <Trauma> ill still fuck her
  <Trauma> i never had a girlfriend in real life before
  <Trauma> im desperate, and proud of the fact that im going to
  jiz the second a girl holds my hand
  <Trauma> i wear rubber underwear if i go around girls
  <Trauma> they wont know i did it
  <Trauma> maybe thats why im a virgin still too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907627
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751307
text:
  <Meridian> fucking
  <Meridian> best thing about ramen noodles
  <Meridian> my girlfriend did NOT know what they were
  <Meridian> so i was making some
  <rohan> rofl
  <Meridian> and i put the flavouring packet thing on the sink
  <Meridian> and she sees the packet
  <Meridian> and what SHE sees
  <Meridian> is a little condom shaped wrapper
  <Meridian> saying "beef flavour"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907627
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751357
text:
  <aba> i was just in detroit
  <jasn> congratulations.
  <aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his
  nose
  <aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any
  cocaine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751501
text:
  <nom> Bush wipes his ass, right?
  <Ultron> No someone does it for him
  <Legion> yeah with the constitution


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751652
text:
  <grl_05>hi guys
  <integrating> hey baby, i wish i were your derivative because
  then i'd be tangent to all your curves
  <FifthElement> i wish i were your integral because then i'd be
  the area under all your curves


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751714
text:
  <JtotheB> Now, I think I will go take the biggest dump that I
  ever have. <JtotheB> It's gonna be a screamer.
  <Not_Nathan> Take pics
  <Not_Nathan> www.ratemypoo.com
  *later*
  <JtotheB> Okay, I did.
  <JtotheB> It's bloody, squirming, and calling my name. What
  should I do?
  <JtotheB> Tell it I just want to be friends?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751774
text:
  <+Jasper> SourceX, its because of people like you that they
  put up signs that say "Please don't touch the animals" in zoos
  <+Jasper> -P
  <@SourceX> i wouildnt do it with other ppl around anyways
  <@SourceX> the signs are pointless


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751869
text:
  <RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only
  fucking yourself
  <Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were
  paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.751957
text:
  (cow) like if you translate the shit she said into one
  sentence
  (cow) it was pretty much
  (cow) i want cock
  (cow) man i shoulda put quotes round that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752019
text:
  <Botbasher> talk about a bad friday, I was scalded by a Coffee
  Maker... Had my testes crushed by the same unit... I had to
  unstuck a garbage disposal..
  <JackMcCornack> hehe ..
  <JackMcCornack> So Botbasher hobbles into an ice cream shop
  and says to the gal behind the counter, <JackMcCornack> "I'm
  having a bad day, give me a rocky road ice cream cone with
  everything."
  <JackMcCornack> "Crushed nuts?"
  <JackMcCornack> "Yeah, I guess my walk gives it away. I got
  scalded too."
  * GonzoRacer takes a bow


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752063
text:
  <timovgod> Man, when I saw they said they were going to add
  color to the $20 bill I thought the meant they were replacing
  Jackson with Al Sharton


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752115
text:
  <jeemer> you know, come to think of it i already have a 5
  gallon aquarium
  <jeemer> hundreds of billions of pets
  <jeemer> i feed them malt and they shit out alcohol
  <jeemer> its a pretty good system actually


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752165
text:
  <WakkyMouse> Why the hell is TBS in black and white here?
  <Taperlass> Karmic retribution for Ted Turner colorizing "It's
  a Wonderful Life."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752223
text:
  <[ric]> uneasier, 2 line taskbar is XP default
  <[ric]> and if you have like 20+ windows open at once and the
  quicklaunch active in nt/9x/2k/me then it is necessary
  <uneasier> i never knew.. god has reached down from the
  heavens and stuck his omniscient thumb u my ass
  <[ric]> hmm... do you feel discomfort in any way?
  <uneasier> no i feel big
  <uneasier> and shiny
  <[ric]> like stretched and stuff?
  <uneasier> no, sort of waterlogged


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752272
text:
  <FlyNavy> why the fuck does every crisis our country has have
  to have a catchy title, graphic, and it's own theme song?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752319
text:
  <DreamStiller> whats the advantage of php compared to servers
  like geocities?
  <DrDoug> Well, php is a server side scripting language and
  geocities is just a steaming pile of shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752360
text:
  (^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than
  me
  (snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752452
text:
  <@whm> "A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his
  ass. The  doctors described his condition as stable."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752554
text:
  <`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the
  program says
  <`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it
  and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752597
text:
  [    Orochi]: Network Interfaces[#1 (Realtek RTL8029(AS)
  Ethernet Adapt (10Mb/s) 2029.16MB In, 65.49MB Out) #2(3Com
  EtherLink PCI (100Mb/s) 2541.76MB In, 942.64MB Out)]
  [ anim0sity]: hell
  [      sTek]:  [NetWork]  #1 (NETGEAR FA310TX Fast Ethernet
  PCI Adapter (10Mb/s) 213.70MB In, 55.17MB Out) #2(ELNK3
  Ethernet Adapter (10Mb/s) 0.00MB In, 0.00MB Out)
  [ anim0sity]: dialup[globe via Generic 56K HCF Data Fax Modem
  @ 50Kb/s for 6h 34m 44s (4.73MB up, 124.54MB down)]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752644
text:
  (@xt) mexican independence day is sept 16th i believe
  (@mitch) yeah
  (@xt) may 5th has significance in pueblo mexico and those from
  pueblo .. its not celebrated by most of mexico
  (@mitch) day they defeated the french
  (@RossH) dude.....if everyone celebrated on a day they
  defeated the french it'd be a year-round holiday


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752745
text:
  <zyrowan> when I have a fiance
  <zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the
  back of my balls
  <zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
  <zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752850
text:
  <paroneayea> Oh man!  Oh man!  Oh man!
  <paroneayea> I have to tell you people the funniest thing
  ever.
  <paroneayea> This friend of mine, a theater major, walks into
  my room.  "Do you have a printer I can borrow?" she says.
  <paroneayea> "Yes," I say, "but it's an old LaserJet 4L.  Is
  that alright?"
  <paroneayea> "Should be," she responds.
  <paroneayea> Then she hands me this paper.  It's like normal
  paper, but thicker, and... not friendly.
  <paroneayea> I ask what it is and she says "cardstock."
  <paroneayea> I raise an eyebrow and say, "you do realize that
  there's no way in hell my printer is going to print on this
  paper."
  <paroneayea> "Oh."
  <paroneayea> "Well," she says, "could we print it on normal
  paper and somehow transfer it to the cardstock?"
  <paroneayea> "What, like print it out and literally cut it up
  and glue it on there?"
  <paroneayea> "No, like, if you printed it out and then stuck
  it in your scanner, maybe we could print it out again on the
  cardstock?"
  <althalus> wtf
  <paroneayea> She couldn't understand why I was laughing so
  hard
  <Wilf> lol
  <althalus> that needs to go up on bash.
  <paroneayea> agreed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752897
text:
  *** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has joined
  #cars
  *** BigCunt is now known as RaMTuFF
  * bigdick slides into BigCunt
  *** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has left #
  cars
  <shaan> well that doesnt happen everyday


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.752945
text:
  <Petruchio> You know... if Disney had named their new movie
  Lilo & Patch, I'd probably have gone to see it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753010
text:
  <Shuka> Our band conductor lady is this really scary black
  lady
  <Shuka> and she's like, "Y'gotta have spirit blood"
  <Shuka> and then like one time
  <Shuka> She's like, "Yknow, don't tell your parents this, but
  you guys sound like fucking shit"
  <Shuka> and we were like o_O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753064
text:
  <davean> http://news.com.com/
  Judge+Worker+cant+be+fired+for+Web+surfing/
  2100-1030_3-6064520.html
  <blorpy> can't look, i'm work
  <blorpy> i'll check it out later


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753111
text:
  <@Afterglow> .  I also have a familiarity with local area
  networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking
  file shares.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753212
text:
  <mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials.
  <reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type
  "stupid"
  <mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P
  <reuben> it looks stupid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753264
text:
  <Rentasmo> there was a gay guy at a support group I went to
  who brought a dog in a bag
  <Rentasmo> we didn't know he had a dog till he let it out
  <Capnplank> did he bring enough for everyone?
  <MrConceited> He was gay, not korean


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753316
text:
  * dfs|Sleep is now known as dfs|Sleeping|Really
  <dfs|Sleeping|Really> Really!
  <dfs|Sleeping|Really> Damn you all.
  <dfs|Sleeping|Really> night
  <Ant> if you really want to sleep i can timeban you until
  morning. :P
  * Quits: ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.GameSurge.net) (*.net
  *.split)
  <Ant> ... or not.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753414
text:
  <jent> cuz it hates you
  <jent> thats what i always blame my problems on
  <PC^God> unix is user friendly. It's just picky about who it
  calls its friends


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753475
text:
  <vai> My mom is like, deathly afraid of worms and she saw one
  on the sidewalk
  <vai> so she made me go get it and she went inside the house,
  so I went in the house with the worm in my hand
  <vai> and she yelled my name and told me to get rid of it, so
  I threw it outside I came in the house
  <vai> she called me an asshole and a son of a bitch
  <vai> so I was like "son of a bitch?" she said "shut up,
  you're adopted go away"
  <vai> =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753516
text:
  * Aryeh`AFK has quit IRC (Quit: [16:12] * ObnoxiousFrog
  reminds Aryeh that a girl on a gaming clan IRC chan is about
  as common as a unicorn that pisses gold and farts dreams)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753660
text:
  <LadyAerowen> I'm allowed to have my own opinion, burra :P
  <burrahobbit> i dont know where you got that idea from but it
  is wrong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753743
text:
  <Roogle> You could ban the whole Arab Emirates, for I've never
  seen anyone on IRC from there
  <Onyx> heh
  <Onyx> ban an entire country :p
  <Prometheus> I vote we ban belguim
  <Prometheus> they're not trustworthy
  <ian> yeah, then we can ban england and japan too.
  <Prometheus> england is funny though
  <Onyx> I say we ban the Swiss
  <dn> *!*@*.fr
  <UfoZ> I say we ban romania?
  <Onyx> their neutrality is too suspicious...
  <Kyou> lol
  <Kyou> BAN THE FRENCH
  <Prometheus> I bet the swiss are building an army like right
  now
  <Kyou> yeah
  <Kyou> neutral, my ass
  <Onyx> nah, Kal's from France.  Probably the only cool person
  in the entire country though
  * Fujiko sets mode: +bbbbbbb *!*@*.jp *!*@*.uk *!*@*.fr *!
  *@*.be *!*@*.se *!*@*.br *!*@*.ro


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753798
text:
  <Edventure> i don't like winamp 3
  <DrPoole> never upgrade
  <DrPoole> i use winamp 0.00001
  <DrPoole> it's just a "Play" button


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753894
text:
  <Barb> I just looked over at a cup on my desk and thought "Ew,
  that milk must be really old. Its like, orangey. Strange that
  it doesn't smell." And I realized it was orange juice and not
  milk.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.753961
text:
  <toe2toe> the part i like is where IRAQ's going "we got
  nothing"
  <toe2toe> and US is going "PFFFT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT"
  <toe2toe> and then
  <toe2toe> North Koreas going "CHECK OUT OUR NUKES, BUDDY"
  <toe2toe> and US is going "Hey... are you iraq? no? THEN STAY
  OUT OF IT"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754077
text:
  <Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the
  streets
  <Lunaris> according to my newspaper
  <Stiletto> I heard something about that
  <Stiletto> I wish I had been there
  <Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
  <Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
  <Lunaris> yuck...
  <Thalamasa> ....
  <Thalamasa> So wait
  <Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
  <Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
  <Thalamasa> In the streets
  <Thalamasa> And it just exploded
  <Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
  <Stiletto> It was being hauled
  <mia> LMFAO
  <Stiletto> To a science lab
  <Thalamasa> Okay
  <Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
  <Thalamasa> So
  <Thalamasa> yeah
  <Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
  <Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
  <Lunaris> and BOOM!!
  <Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
  <Lunaris> OMG...
  <Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
  <Thalamasa> ...
  <Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
  <Thalamasa> Look
  <Lunaris> ugh...
  <Lunaris> ...
  <Stiletto> Why?
  <Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
  <Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
  <Flession> I try


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754126
text:
  <Dilbert> Whats the best material to use to wrap marijuana?
  <[LPK]Serj> Saran Wrap
  <Dilbert> k thx.
  Quits: Dilbert (zorkz@Cheatlist-5F46206.md.comcast.net)
  (Quit:)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754179
text:
  <berger> i suggested to mojo, we go on a double date with
  eachothers sisters
  <berger> he said no
  <Zardoz> how old is his sister?
  <berger> well
  <berger> hmm
  <berger> i suppose thats why he said no.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754220
text:
  (lara`) i wanna die
  (lara`) just like jesus christ
  (Ic3zero) whats stopping u
  (Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754317
text:
  <evenpar123> I am so going to be moderated for that last
  comment...
  <mightyflo> console wars are stupid. people that get involved
  with console wars are even stupidder
  <evenpar123> Console wars?  I was just giving some
  information, and making fun of the fact that his parents don't
  love each other anymore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754371
text:
  <Drac|working> cool pizza,beer and my computer......this is
  the life
  <Seth> Drac|working: that is the life of one who doesn't have
  a life ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754430
text:
  <Gplex> is this the main channel
  <Gplex> where's the main channel?
  <Gplex> what's a "main channel"
  <Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754484
text:
  <metaly> what the dum
  <metaly> this person on direct connect has their drives named
  after the three wise men
  <metaly> although i am guessing they were trying for "gaspar"
  but somehow ended up with "casper"
  <Pokeytax> which one is the porn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754590
text:
  <deadkode> rent-a-center is funny as hell
  <deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
  <deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
  > http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp
  <RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their
  website?
  <deadkode> free till payday
  <RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was
  great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the
  hot sauce".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754636
text:
  <@X-G> ownage is such a capitalistic term.
  <@X-G> YOUR ASS WILL BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED TO THE PEOPLE BASED
  ON NEED!!11~


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754701
text:
  <Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences
  between Norwegian and English.
  <Katsmall> Where's Norway?
  <Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
  <Teeks> Land of four A's.
  <Katsmall> Is that so?
  <Katsmall> Which four A's?
  <Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY
  GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754794
text:
  <Pirificio> Anyone on here with a higher level of Estrogin
  than Testoterone?
  <mogismog> lemme guess, you don't have a girlfriend?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754857
text:
  [20:21] <cooldaw13>  2nd Hint: 176*   30.0 secs & 12 Points
  Remaining
  [20:22] <cooldaw13>  3rd Hint: 176*   15.0 secs & 6 Points
  Remaining
  [20:22] <StealthStalker> 1760
  <StealthStalker> 1761
  <StealthStalker> 1762
  <StealthStalker> i give up
  <cooldaw13>  Times up!  The answer was ->  1763  <-
  <StealthStalker> OMG


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754910
text:
  <signine> i walk into work wearing a hawaiian shirt, with pink
  hair, wearing paint-covered shoes, a server is down, stuff is
  happening that sucks and is causing massive fallout and my job
  is probably in danger
  <signine> and what do i get from my coworkers?
  <signine> "nice shirt, where'd you get it?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.754962
text:
  <Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
  <artforz> how did you make it work?
  <Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving
  the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its
  structural integrity
  <Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755012
text:
  <Sonium> someone speak python here?
  <lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
  <lucky> SSSSS
  <Sonium> the programming language


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755062
text:
  <shizumaru> "Sega originally stood for "Segregated Arcade" and
  was started by a black man, Martin Luther King Jr. in the
  1960s, however MLK was later assassinated during a
  brainstorming activity concerning a new blue hedgehog
  character by a Japanese Sniper on the balcony of a hotel, the
  Japs successfully framed a white man and took over Sega taking
  the profits for their own."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907648
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755109
text:
  <jay> when i get married im gonna buy my wife a BMW 318,
  because they are really safe and yet sluggish enough for her
  not to cause any trouble
  <adam> yeah? when i get married, im gonna take out a big life
  insurance policy on my wife and buy her a Hyundai Excel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755154
text:
  <CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell
  running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a
  4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of
  competition.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755206
text:
  <Numloxx> hmmm, wonder if i should have chinese tonight
  <Numloxx> yeah... a bit of shaved asian would feel good :)
  <Numloxx> i mean.. umm... sweet and sour pork..
  <Numloxx> wait.. i meant.. umm.. satay chicken and fried rice
  :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755260
text:
  <Mank> Happy New Year.
  <Mank> 666 + 1337 = 2003
  <Anders> So the Antichrist is to arrive this year in the form
  of a preteen hacker?
  <Chris_A> It's the Ap0cA1yp53!!!!111
  <Mank> a11 uR j3suz r b3lonG 2 US!!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755310
text:
  <Sefy> I found 1 error in windows XP
  <Dested> Oh i guess thats not that bad
  <Sefy> Shit brb, my zero key isnt working


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755356
text:
  *** Trel_Nadal is now known as ElmerFudd
  [ElmerFudd] Shhhhhhhhh!!! Be vewwy vewwy quiet...I'm hunting
  wamers...Huhuhuhuh
  [ElmerFudd] Wook!! a wascawy wamer!!!
  [ElmerFudd] KaBoom!!!!!
  *** ElmerFudd sets mode: +b *!*implyunix@*.libertysurf.co.uk
  *** SimplyBSD|fuck was kicked by ElmerFudd (Oh! No! I killed
  the wamer!!!.)
  *** ElmerFudd is now known as Trel_Nadal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755412
text:
  <d> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
  <d> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
  <d> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the
  head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
  <g> don't they have stickers on them that say they could
  explode or catch fire by doing that?
  <d> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755462
text:
  <TB>  I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life
  Line.
  <TB>  I reached a call center in Pakistan.
  <TB>  I told them I was suicidal.
  <TB>  They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755553
text:
  faux978: Awesome conversation
  faux978: On the way to the bathroom, my sister spots me "NOOO
  I HAVE TO PEE"
  faux978: "Well, I have to shit"
  faux978: "I figured that's why you brought the laptop..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755636
text:
  <ianazza> jay you know if im wireless yeh
  <ianazza> well my son has broke his linksyst wirless adaptor
  <ianazza> can he use a usb memory stick while he gets a new
  adaptor#
  <JayR> a memory stick for what?
  <ianazza> to go wirless
  <JayR> a memory stick os for storing files on
  <ianazza> well to get on net
  <JayR> a memory stick is a memory stick m8
  <ianazza> Oh i thoguht you cud use it as a flash drive or
  watever to get on net
  <ianazza> using my wireless connection
  <JayR> he in same house?
  <ianazza> yeh
  <JayR> he got a wireless dongle?
  <ianazza> no he broke it
  <JayR> no then
  <ianazza> ok ta
  <JayR> hows the wireless signal gonna get to his pc without a
  wireless card ot dongle?
  <ianazza> thought you could save the wireless connection to
  usb memeory stick put it in his comp and presto
  <JayR> £aughing My Âss Õff
  <JayR> no m8


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755685
text:
  <Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs
  that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a
  wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet
  another with a table leg."
  <FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle,
  talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table
  leg before they found the photographs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755737
text:
  <player> oh i lag hard
  <geez> lag=?
  <player> that means my connection is slow
  <geez> oh... i thought you said something dirty..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755779
text:
  You Are Hemp: i bit my lip pretty hard today
  You Are Hemp: there was blood on the opposite side
  You Are Hemp: didnt get me laid though
  hobopower113: does biting ones lip usually get one laid?
  You Are Hemp: i guess not...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755825
text:
  Cypher : damnit i hate windows 98
  Cypher : "look, you've updated the network drivers, INSERT THE
  CD BEFORE THE COMPUTER EXPLODES!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755870
text:
  <prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on
  Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one
  martial arts channel run by a white supremist


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755922
text:
  <Ranbert> someone shoot me please....
  <tele>   o                              \O_ Arrgh!!
  <tele>  <\==-   -   - -   -  -  - --- __/
  <tele>  / \                             \


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.755971
text:
  <@:s4t4n> #christian can't join channel (channel is full)
  <@:s4t4n> guess no one else is gettin into heaven!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756018
text:
  [eddo] What's the job application to Hooters?
  [eddo] They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756115
text:
  <Slinky3> i made bricks today!
  <Slinky3> with my own home-ground flour!
  <Apollo> I made some too, but I flushed them when I was
  finished


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756173
text:
  <Verl> www.internet.com/dvds.rock/yestheydo.htlm
  <Verl> html^
  <0dan0> nice botched joke, loser
  <Verl> ahem
  <Verl> 'at least i dont put how many times ive had sex in
  front of my name, and how many time ill ever have sex after
  it'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756234
text:
  <Schwab> so I bought some mary jane last night
  <Schwab> about a quarters worth
  <Schwab> then I planted it in this jackass's car
  <Schwab> then I called the cops
  <Schwab> and now he's on parol violation
  <Schwab> lesson in all of this....don't ever..EVER.. fucking
  touch my food, especially with the intention of ruining it
  while I'm eating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756286
text:
  <vrit> mm* = hi, we're capcom. we don't need to come up with
  new ideas for games. here, enjoy street fighter vs marvel vs
  snk vs megaman vs taliban vs n'sync alpha super gold turbo
  extreme zero mega ultra double-stuf supreme extra value combo
  4x


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756333
text:
  <eTombotron> purges are an essential part of a healthy society
  =-= eTombotron was booted from #homeworld by kally (ps
  everyone he never existed)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756389
text:
  <Bashman> Hehe, did you know that if you cross "encyclopaedia"
  and "paedophile" you get "encylopaedophile?"
  <Bashman> Or "encyclopaedophilia".
  <HamhamSoZ> ...I see


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756435
text:
  <Archie> thanks to opera for the wii, i can now watch youtube
  on my tv
  <Archie> we have gone full circle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756481
text:
  <DannyCat> The Fonz playing DDR would be like, him standing
  there looking cool throughout the song, but not stepping on
  anything. Then, right as the results screen came up, he'd
  whack the side of the monitor and it would give him an AAA.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756535
text:
  <CimmAway> Spam subject of the day: "Proven Safe! Give Your
  Little Brother 3-Inches Longer With This High Demaning Herbal
  Pill tlet"
  <CimmAway> Something just sounds wrong there...
  <CimmAway> Giving 3 inches more to your brother...
  <Reddman> he's getting better at taking it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756586
text:
  <hepkitten> also i appear to have lost my bf
  <hepkitten> :<
  <kinzillah> "lost"? does he respond to ping?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756636
text:
  <DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
  <DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes
  back
  <DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
  <DannyB> she was confused


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756680
text:
  * Genin grabs laz and sticks his thumb up his butthole
  <laz> at least i cut my fingernails yesterday


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756781
text:
  <corey|sleepin> bush is on tv
  <static> wut he sayin corey?
  <corey|sleepin> 'all yer oil are belong to us'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907658
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756894
text:
  <Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
  <Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead
  of "hair"?
  <AXEiii> ...?
  <Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
  <DeAZNriDe> that bitch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907658
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.756955
text:
  <xoiprocs> it all started when my mother took my bike away cuz
  i murdered my guinei pig and stuck him in the microwave
  <obi`> haha
  <obi`> i put my dog in the microwave once
  <obi`> but i didn't press the button
  <obi`> i just wanted to see if he would fit
  <obi`> ...just in case
  <xoiprocs> ok..
  <obi`> you're the one that killed your guinea pig


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757006
text:
  <bda> I need a job where I can get laid in the line of duty.
  <beady> teacher?
  <claws03> grade school?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757097
text:
  <cSk|Sperry> There were 2 people on a boat: /hop and /quit. /
  hop got off, who's still on the boat?
  * nipple_frog has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757147
text:
  <AnthraX3D> White Ninja comics are racists
  <AnthraX3D> Why no black ninja?
  <ErectuZ> Because ninjas don't carry guns


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757250
text:
  <Pac>: When we were watching The Bourne Identity my roommate
  turned to me and said, "You and I should be assassins.  It
  would be awesome traveling around the world to assass
  people."
  <B-Love>: don't you mean "assassinate?"
  <Pac>: No, he said "assass"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757395
text:
  <@Asha`monkey> Storm is like a 64 or something like that.
  <+darkLem> boy, he looks younger than he is obviously.
  <+nosphalot> he scarifices virgins to keep up appearance
  <+darkLem> ...so THAT'S why he hangs around on IRC!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757442
text:
  <mindstorms> windows asked me to put in a new password, and i
  put in penis.
  <mindstorms> and it told me to come up with a new fucking
  joke.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757487
text:
  (+SnowWork) note from the tragically wiser. when running a
  computer lab for a middle school. do _NOT_ allow a naiive
  teacher to instruct students to type "zoo pictures" into a
  search engine :|
  (+SnowWork) yes folks, it happened to me...
  (+SnowWork) actually, after the first frantic dash to haul the
  network cable out of the ISDN modem, I laughed my ass off ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757544
text:
  <Gallusik_psv> sory
  <Gallusik_psv> for my english :P
  <osiris> I envy you, I really do, I hate speaking 1 language
  <Gallusik_psv> aha
  <Gallusik_psv> what languages do you know??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757618
text:
  <j4yj0hn> oh my god
  <j4yj0hn> the funniest shit happened last night
  <j4yj0hn> we were at a guys house and i had to piss, so i go
  into his parents bathroom
  <j4yj0hn> there was no soap so i look in the medicine cabinet
  <j4yj0hn> what do i see?
  <j4yj0hn> a big fucking bottle of viagra
  <j4yj0hn> so we get like 8 of them and feed them to this guys
  9 year old brother
  <j4yj0hn> and he has had a bone for about 14 hours now
  <j4yj0hn> its fucking hilarious cause he had a physical for
  indoor soccer at noon
  <j4yj0hn> o laughed for about 4 hours strait
  <MrH2o> HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  <j4yj0hn> its great, we have about 6000 pics
  <MrH2o> damn that is dangrous
  <j4yj0hn> but a kid with a massive cock is hilarious


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757669
text:
  <Lacan7>Oh. My bad. I'm so used to speaking english here that
  I've become a tad rusty on my stupid.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757721
text:
  InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once.
  The Spunn: did it hurt?
  InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid.
  InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner.
  The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing.
  InVerSeX: Exactly.
  The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14"
  scanner, that's the part that hurt the most.
  InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to
  get a stiffy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757769
text:
  <astroboy> I asked a japanese exchange student what kind of
  american TV he likes in japan.
  <astroboy> he said full house.
  <astroboy> I fear japan.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757867
text:
  <Spike> I want to write an OS that gives error messages in
  laymen's terms
  <Spike> "Your computer is fuckin broke yo. Reset this shit"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757915
text:
  <blazemore> in afghanistan, people are worried about dying
  tonight. in the us, i'm worried about completing my mame
  collection before this site rom site dies.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.757973
text:
  <WarNPeace> There, 12 point font in terminal is readable
  nicely
  <WarNPeace> 8 was not.
  <Cryto> hehe
  <Cryto> get new eyes.
  <WarNPeace> I'm just getting these broken in
  <WarNPeace> Its taken lots of pr0n to get them where they are.
  <Cryto> Broken being the key word. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758025
text:
  <buq> Intra - do you have any other stuff that is on the same
  basic level as moby?
  <phatkro> No one is on Moby's level
  <phatkro> He's stuck on level 3, world 7 of the original Super
  mario Bros.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758071
text:
  Casalyn88: now i feel branded like i can't go out and have
  other boys now because theyll see it and think i get around a
  lot
  Tovarich89: ummm, casie.....
  Tovarich89:
  Casalyn88: ok i mean then they'll KNOW i get around a lot
  Tovarich89: better


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758131
text:
  <mgodzilla> I was a r&d micro electronics engineer tech. in my
  youth.
  * mgodzilla designed this dc to dc power supply they put on a
  satellite
  <Elephark> awesome
  * mgodzilla sent the satellite into orbit and lost contact w/
  it
  <Elephark> at least it was powered
  <mgodzilla> they said it was mostly likely due to a power
  issue.
  <Elephark> ...oh
  <mgodzilla> I was like - what are you lookin' at me for?!?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758228
text:
  <PolestaR> Swish I dont have your skill where you just say
  *smiles* online and the girl is yours
  <Swish> rofl
  <PolestaR> I have to like, talk for like 5000 chars before I
  even get the phone number
  <PolestaR> which is fake


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758273
text:
  Leftist   i like songs where they count or spell things, to
  fill space.
  Eeyore    so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758329
text:
  <us98> hi
  <us98> I've windows 98 installed on my computer
  <Sygrke> ok
  <us98> now i have a problem
  <Sygrke> you repeat yourself dude


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.758412
text:
  <KoNrAdEk> in november turn 21
  <KoNrAdEk> so 16 pretty young for me
  <spoko_bre> true true
  <spoko_bre> but 16 is the freshest u can get without getting
  g-lined from society
  <KoNrAdEk> yea thats true
  <KoNrAdEk> but parents could try to give me ban -noexpire
  <KoNrAdEk> but i just see her on the other channel
  <KoNrAdEk> and baaaaaaaang
  <spoko_bre> hahahah
  <spoko_bre> yes!
  <spoko_bre> sneaky cunt
  <spoko_bre> give parents trojan
  <spoko_bre> and u can sneak into the house
  <spoko_bre> and fuck daughter
  <KoNrAdEk> yes x
  <KoNrAdEk> hahahhahahahaa
  <spoko_bre> and then sneak out
  <KoNrAdEk> get her pregnant
  <KoNrAdEk> and change nicks
  <KoNrAdEk> no1 will kno its me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759048
text:
  <chris> i've been to a lan-party with 130 people on the
  weekend
  <Matthew> Cool.
  <Matthew> I have the internet.
  <Matthew> It's one big lan party.
  <Matthew> But the difference is...
  <Matthew> You can jerk off, and no one knows.
  <chris> true that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759097
text:
  <BigSkippy> everybody forgets to turn /away off.
  <BigSkippy> I was gone for 3 days once masturbating if you
  listen to my /back
  message


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759181
text:
  <Concise> I would like to say that im on windows not on
  redhat...reason i said i was in redH. cause I thought everyone
  that was leet was on linux or unix so to fit in I had to
  lie...sorry..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759233
text:
  <the_stick> I finally managed to get rid of Linux
  <the_stick> Unfortunately I got rid of windows and all my data
  in the process
  <the_stick> guess it didnt want to go down without a fight


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759274
text:
  <Shino> internet people are creepy...
  <Shino> if i wasnt me, and met myself, id piss myself with
  fear


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759314
text:
  «+kennyv» drakkhen: heh, a buddy of mine offered me a p3
  800mhz for 80 bucks about a year ago
  «+kennyv» but i was like "GRRR FUCK INTEL BITCH"
  «+kennyv» then i carved an amd logo into my chest with an old
  isa sound card


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759467
text:
  (Reverend_) i thought i had to shit really bad
  (Reverend_) but then i just farted like 3 times, and now i'm
  all cool
  (Reverend_) but my ass is kinda wet and sticky
  (Reverend_) any hot chicks, msg me, and we'll talk about it
  (Reverend_) share your feelings


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759514
text:
  <GoldyOrNugget> who would bother decompiling windows
  <GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company
  to steal a mop


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759564
text:
  <opiate> i think i just got a new personal best for solitaire
  <opiate> 10109 points, in 74 seconds.
  <chewy-> sound like you live an incredibily interesting life
  <opiate> its not that im bored, i actually like solitaire


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759663
text:
  <Biff> man. 3 bigwigs from the rival company we just bought
  came here to visit
  <Biff> they didn't seem happy AT ALL
  <hekman> well they just got owned
  <hekman> literally


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759715
text:
  <TRiP]> so you got a bf?
  <wersa666> yeah, you have a gf?
  <TRiP]> nope.. still stuck with this crappy TNT2.. i'm
  planning on buying a GF3 next week though
  <wersa666> ok...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759806
text:
  <[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome.
  <Cel> ....uh huh.
  <Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759875
text:
  <veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the
  bus
  <veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
  <veggie> he pronounced it fuck
  <sully> back to work with you :)
  <sully> LOL veggie
  <veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really
  loud...
  <veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
  <sully> LOL!
  <veggie> hahaha
  <veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
  <veggie> firetruck = firefuck
  <veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
  <veggie> etc..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.759971
text:
  <Moot> ok, here's what we do
  <Moot> we break into AOL HQ
  <Moot> and instead of the AOL setup utility, we put metallica
  mp3s on all of the startup cds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907673
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760021
text:
  <codespace> who is the father of genetics?
  <codespace> mendel?
  <Swish> Dr. Genetalia
  <codespace> go team.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760089
text:
  <ignatz> You are carrying one half-empty Anchor Steam beer, a
  GameBoy, and an angst-filled heart.  You are in a clearing in
  the woods near a technology company.
  <zebulon_y> w
  <ignatz> You fall into the Pacific Ocean.
  <zebulon_y> e
  <ignatz> You are in a clearing in the woods near a technology
  company. There is a dwarf here with a hat that says "QA" on
  it.
  <zebulon_y> drink beer
  <ignatz> glug.
  <zebulon_y> say hello to dwarf
  <ignatz> FUCK YOU, THAT'S MARKETING'S JOB says the dwarf. He
  hits you with a memo and you die.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760156
text:
  <Plot> I was either going to die now
  <Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
  <Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
  <Plot> I went into kitchen
  <Plot> switched a bulb
  <Plot> and wham
  <Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
  <theForger> woah dude
  <C--> damn
  <Jyrsija> jesus
  <ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed
  to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760204
text:
  <konefku> If you have twins, im buying you a shirt that points
  to your left side that says "I LOVE THIS ONE MORE."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760250
text:
  <aBoijj> he asked me where I downloaded it from
  <aBoijj> I said I walked into the shop and downloaded it from
  the shelf to my hand then uploaded some money from my pocket
  to the till via the shop assistant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760298
text:
  <Rasputin> Episode 1 rocked!!!!!
  <Rasputin> Let me rephrase.
  <Rasputin> The trailer for Episode 1 ROCKED!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760355
text:
  <BreakneckXan> My sister asked me where Nicaragua was
  <BreakneckXan> I said 'central america'
  <BreakneckXan> She said "Oh so it's like around Kansas
  somewhere?"
  <BreakneckXan> I see a brass pole and body glitter in her
  future...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760412
text:
  <dawm> i wonder
  <dawm> if i can ban myself
  <dawm> oops
  <dawm> you can
  <dawm> im banned from my own blog
  <dawm> BAHAHHAHA
  <dawm> shit
  <dawm> thats unreversable


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760468
text:
  <SuperMegaGeek145> this is a really gooooood movie
  <xTaVx> lol
  <xTaVx> You need a paper towel?
  <SuperMegaGeek145> ewww
  <SuperMegaGeek145> good, commercial
  <SuperMegaGeek145> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760519
text:
  <Oli> i havent got my email yet.
  <Rossell> Oli: That the police found your gay card?
  <Reid> You need a CARD now?
  <Reid> Where do I, umm, obtain one?
  <Rossell> Parliament


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760575
text:
  <MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
  <undrewb> heh
  <jamesn> *laugh*
  <jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
  <MMouse> of course ;)
  <jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
  <MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper
  management


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760669
text:
  <Legion> touching yourself leeds to blindness
  <beej> heh, and spellin problems, apparently
  <beej> ...omfg


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760720
text:
  * hotwetlilgurl13 is now known as MrPinky
  <Strawberry-Holocaust> .... damn dude I was gonna pm u for a
  second there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760771
text:
  <mewse> that was awesome
  <mewse> err wrong window
  <zarcyb> mewse: cybering? :P
  * mewse licks it
  <mewse> FUCK WRONG WINDOW


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760827
text:
  <BobInDaShadows> It's been my life goal to have a quote on
  bash
  <BobInDaShadows> That and to meet somebody from Wyoming.
  <Keiser> Why Wyoming?
  <BobInDaShadows> Have YOU ever met somebody from Wyoming?
  <Keiser> Good point


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760880
text:
  <michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> good if you like to asked me
  anything pleazse feel free to asked ok? i have noi oproblem
  with communitcating
  <michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> with othere's here
  <Cid> ...I think that's a matter of opinion.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760930
text:
  <Fashykekes> Capitalization is the difference between "I had
  to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my
  uncle jack off a horse.."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.760972
text:
  (Deranged): I like my women like I like my coffee.
  (Jet): Black?
  (SteveTheImpermeableHamster): full of your cream?
  (mistik): hawt?
  (Jet): Columbian?
  (Aimee): hot?
  (Jet): From McDonalds?
  (SteveTheImpermeableHamster): in a cup?
  (Jet): Spilt all over your lap?
  (mistik): cheap?
  (Deranged): No..
  (Deranged): Ground up, and in the freezer.
  (mistik): oh
  (mistik): lmao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761024
text:
  <Hurricane_Hasney> I'm just a pedophile really
  <Hurricane_Hasney> I mean audiophile
  <Hurricane_Hasney> Sheesh, talk about mis-type of the century
  :S


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761073
text:
  * demo20b has joined #odoru
  <timeless> stfu
  * demo20b has quit IRC (Exit: if you stand at the top of a
  very tall building, do u eva feel like jumping off?)
  <timeless> omg
  <timeless> thats all i takes to get rid of him??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761164
text:
  walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
  walshy117: its like
  walshy117: i was playing around the stove
  walshy117: and i got burned
  walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
  walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the
  kitchen of course


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761209
text:
  (Threeboy): nintendo kicks so much ass it's not funny,
  (Jynxy): Nintendo do own!
  (Jynxy): And its not only the games
  (Jynxy): it what the games leave in your heart that really
  makes nintendo special


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761257
text:
  <Fly_Mario> Tommorrow Night at 9pm est
  <GoodScrat> what happens, you're commiting suicide over a
  quick cam?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761305
text:
  <sh-> i can get myself banned, thank you very much
  <ohdiesel> sh-: just stick your hands in the olive tray
  <sh-> my idea involves indecent exposure and deli meat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761356
text:
  <Moony> Rasseruu: I bet it can't compare to two sprained
  ankles, a dislocated bone, and a swollen knee
  <MadHAtter> Moony: How the hell did that happen?
  <Moony> MadHAtter: I was walking. Then I wasn't.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761406
text:
  frostedbeagels: now here's the thing
  onkeybutt87: where's the thing?
  frostedbeagels: here
  onkeybutt87: oh yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761473
text:
  <sophia_> wow look at this new type of cat named a toyger
  <MaxInux> pretty cat
  <MaxInux> looks like a bengal sorta
  <sophia_> its totally different than a bengal apparently
  <sophia_> custom bred
  <MaxInux> neat still looks like a bengal :) just slightly more
  striped
  <sophia_> ya its pretty
  <jm> am I the only person who's appalled at humanity's efforts
  to selectively breed traits they find cute, funny, or
  otherwise desirable?
  <blaxthos> jm:  do you date ugly girls ?
  <sophia_> heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761531
text:
  <nwinter> i am the king of EXCEL.
  <nwinter> kinda.
  <nwinter> i used staroffice to make an excel document.
  <nwinter> and learn how to make a spreadsheet in the process.
  <Lacroix> i bow to your mastery :)
  <nwinter> i am now THAT MUCH MORE of a marketable unix admin!
  <nwinter> what does all of this mean?
  <nwinter> my boss is a retard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761583
text:
  <ChikBRB> My bagle bites tray had fuckin 10 bites
  <ChikBRB> they usually have nine
  <ChikBRB> THEIR LOSS HAHA
  <Guilty> Wow thats quite a find
  <Guilty> The gods have truely smiled upon you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761637
text:
  <+Tincan> omega could code his way out of a straight jacket!
  <@omega> out?
  <+Tincan> yeah i guess
  <+Tincan> i dunno i just thought of it
  <@omega> dude, the rate im going, im going to be coding myself
  INTO a straight jacket.
  <+Tincan> lolol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761689
text:
  <Hemlock> cloning one's pet doesn't seem that costly
  <Hemlock> i am seriously considering doing this
  <Compute> hem:  you can't clone rocks, dumbass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761739
text:
  <Neural> I learned who I was while sitting in county lockup
  for soliciting underage girl runaways into taking nude photos
  for their hollywood actress portfolio.
  <Neural> you'd be surprise how many show up at the L.A. bus
  terminal everyday.
  <Neural> at first I was there for the 2600 meets....then it
  was for the teeny runaways.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761786
text:
  <cdowdsux> So my friend was telling me about how he tried to
  commit suicide by taking 20 Advil...so I was just like..
  "Dude, why take 20 Advil when you could have just taken 3
  Aleve?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761838
text:
  <dil-hole> Today I was at a restaurant and was waiting for my
  food.
  <dil-hole> Then I started to play my DS on pictochat see? And
  I found someone that was playing it too.
  <dil-hole> We started to draw pictures and thinking it was
  some older guy and everything, I was joking around and drew a
  penis.
  <dil-hole> I looked up to see who it was and about 20 feet
  away, I heard a gasp. I look up and it s a 10 year old girl
  with a DS in her hands.
  <dil-hole> I immediately closed my DS and hid it. That was
  freaken scary.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761899
text:
  <_ohm> Akahige, obviously you haven't heard of OOP and you
  need to check your priviledge
  <Pyrious> Valid c++ if it's following a "//"
  <Akahige> _ohm: Did you just assume my paradigm!?
  <mwd> OOM > OOP
  <_ohm> Akahige, nice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761949
text:
  <mordac> Beige: I bought a WATCH from some guy in Battery
  Park!
  <mordac> I totally haggled.
  <mordac> I told him I only had $10 for it, and he was like
  OKAY :( except I only had twenty dollar bills.
  <mordac> He even gave me the change.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.761998
text:
  <Blarrrg> Holy shit, best idea for a doormat ever.
  <Blarrrg> 10 HOME
  <Blarrrg> 20 SWEET
  <Blarrrg> 30 GOTO 10


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762143
text:
  <ensis> Well folks, I'm off to the farm
  <ensis> I can actually say that too, how funny
  <Bomp> They're lying
  <Bomp> You're going to be put down


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762192
text:
  < st2> I'm sure if you're posting naked pictures of yourself,
  there will be a lot of people around to help you.
  * drusillia glares at st2
  * st2 pulls out the anti-glare screen.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762242
text:
  <Amorphis> I just passed with distinction my oral exam for
  driving licence
  <|jenova|> oral exam for driving test...
  <|jenova|> dang..strict rules
  <PcChip> you have to suck off the instructor ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762338
text:
  <Eskimo-Steve> damn it, files are dling too fast
  <roninFool> steve: ha ha
  <roninFool> wait, TOO fast?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762409
text:
  * Ouroboros does a robot dance in FLB's pants.
  <FLB> ...
  <Ouroboros> Well.
  <Ouroboros> I mean.
  <Ouroboros> You have spare pants, right?
  <FLB> Yeah! Of course!
  <FLB> That's what you meant
  <Ouroboros> Yes.
  <Ouroboros> It is.
  <FLB> Umm.
  <FLB> You can keep that pair.
  <FLB> They're on the house.
  <Ouroboros> KTHX


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762463
text:
  * Joins: Julie_ (~warez@63.243.0.98)
  Julie_ is ~warez@63.243.0.98 * * I'm to lame to read
  BitchX.doc *
  <jube> Julie_ you're using bitchx and therefore unix.
  <jube> that doesnt bode well for your dress size
  <Julie_> ha
  <jube> prove me wrong in .jpg form


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762515
text:
  <bda> Wow. Five SMS and already I'm wishing I had the fingers
  of a 15 year old Japanese girl.
  * bda pauses.
  <bda> Hmmm.
  <SketchCow> I do too
  <SketchCow> Wrapped around something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762584
text:
  <v_9>FUCK
  <v_9>SHIT
  <v_9>DAMNBITCHTOHELL
  <v_9>i was just surfing throuh porn, then i was just stopped
  wanking it
  <v_9>you know, going to a different url
  <v_9>then all of a sudden,
  <v_9>A FUCKING FLY LANDED ON MY MUSHROOM CAP
  <v_9>THE SHIT HURT LIKE A MUHER FUCKER
  <v_9>i mangaed to get a book real fast
  <v_9>then made another mistake.
  <v_9>i slammed the book right onto my shlong
  <v_9>and part of the fly was dripping down to my balls.
  <v_9>:/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762663
text:
  <FLB> Are you in the mood for some gaming?
  <Ouroboros> Uh huh.
  <FLB> Cause I should be finished in a reasonable amount of
  time.
  <FLB> So you have more or less two options.
  <FLB> A) You leave me an IP address, and I join you later.
  <FLB> B) You simply wait for my return, at which point game
  specifics are worked out, and we commence.
  <Ouroboros> C) I find a game, don't tell you the IP, and we
  never hook up.
  <FLB> D) I hunt you down and kill you.
  <Ouroboros> E) Ow.
  <FLB> F) Somehow we manage to accomplish all of the above.
  <Ouroboros> G) Not likely, but ok.
  <FLB> H) I know, but it was an idea.
  <Ouroboros> I) pick B)
  <FLB> J) I have to scroll up, please hold.
  <Ouroboros> K)
  <FLB> L)OL
  <FLB> M)an this is getting old.
  <Ouroboros> N)o kidding.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762775
text:
  <dakidski> DrtySOUTH: think the pig on the www.monsterpig.com
  website is real?
  <DrtySOUTH> It is.
  <DrtySOUTH> Been verified, here at least.
  <dakidski> what a beast
  <rockorc1> wonder what loot it dropped ;)
  <DrtySOUTH> rockorc1: you're such a MMORPG nerd.
  <DrtySOUTH> It dropped a Dale Earnhardt Amulet of Hickdom
  <DrtySOUTH> +25 to Hillbilly and Trailer Park skills.
  <DrtySOUTH> 75% resistance to Highschool Education element.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762823
text:
  <Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on
  periscope, no knicks on
  <Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
  <Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope
  lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762869
text:
  <MartinBlank> I knew a guy who dressed up for Halloween as a
  giant penis with ferns growing around the base, and said he
  was dressed as a dickweed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762914
text:
  quiksilvrr101: hello
  axelay4: went out and bought some dice for D&D yesterday
  quiksilvrr101: hot
  axelay4: they were mondo expensive  though...so i looked the
  guy at the counter straight in the face and asked him if i
  could roll a D20 to haggle
  quiksilvrr101: lol
  quiksilvrr101: and?
  axelay4: goddamn natural 1


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.762962
text:
  <Falc0> i am gonna start a new bussiness,
  <Falc0> skydiving for pedophiles
  <Falc0> make em pay in advance cash only


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763014
text:
  * dal3 has joined #math
  <dal3> anyone good with math? could you tell me what
  10+10-10+10+10-10-10-10+10+10-10+10-10-10+10-10-10-10+10+10+10+10-10+10
  is?
  <zepelin-> 17
  <dal3> really?
  <zepelin-> yeah
  <dal3> thanx
  * dal3 has left #math


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763054
text:
  thejew: omg i just found a memory leak that has existed since
  the dawn of time
  PlasmaHH: hm, this would explain why the universe is so big...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763205
text:
  <civicsi> flappy: they have rubber in em now
  <spazzer> HI JASON PRESTON
  <spazzer> AKA
  <spazzer> CIVICSI
  <civicsi> HTF DID YOU GET MY NAME?
  <spazzer> hahaha
  <civicsi> spazzer: your IP will be forwarded to the FBI
  <aNuBiS-> roflmfao
  <aNuBiS-> JASON PRESTON
  <spazzer> go right ahead Mr. Preston
  <KK> the people at work are ricers..
  <aNuBiS-> i just comprimised your computer
  <aNuBiS-> and am reading your files right now
  <aNuBiS-> theyre pretty lame mostly
  <civicsi> YOU ALL NEED TO STAY OUT OF MY COMPUTER
  <LennyNero> hahaha
  <JPres> civicsi sounds like a real moron
  <civicsi> uhhh, no
  <civicsi> I am MCSE asshole
  <Darn> haha
  <pHatBUDDa> haha
  <KK> civicsi.. I have access to government computers.. Jason
  Preston.. I can see your home address
  <civicsi> I have experience
  <KK> I have experience jerking off but that doesnt mean I am a
  jerkoff extroidinaire
  <spazzer> So Jason, how have things been?
  <aNuBiS-> err, ya it does KK
  <KK> aNuBiS-.. hmm.. you are right
  <civicsi> spaz: do I even know you?
  <spazzer> Jason Preston: http://www.digdug.cx/quotes/?2767


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763250
text:
  <hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a
  pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763300
text:
  <@Disciple> im stuck in traffic
  <@Disciple> sigh
  <@oz> stop ircing from your phone you lame piece of shit
  <@oz> if you were jewish, that would make sense.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763350
text:
  <tasha> How long were you in New Zealand dev
  <@devdev> went twice
  <@devdev> for like, maybe 1 1/2 months
  <@devdev> maybe like 6 weeks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763398
text:
  (~bati) how is that thing called
  (~bati) where some fat chicks takes a photo of herself where
  only face is shown
  (~bati) or taken from some fucked up angle so she doesn't look
  ugly?
  (p00h) myspace


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763449
text:
  <Yoshi> I got free unlimited php asp etc hosting with no
  banners or ads whatsoever!!!!
  <Yoshi> And a free domain name for life!
  <Yoshi> Now if I could only speak Norwegian and figure out how
  to login


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763501
text:
  <Akinaga> I skipped my wedding to play Tribes
  <Akinaga> comeon, it was a match for the #2 spot
  <apollyon> at that point you really need to rethink why you're
  alive
  <merc> or just dump the bitch =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763595
text:
  <Jaice> I just got a gummy bear stuck in my nose!
  <Divination> 100,000 sperm... and you were the fastest?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763651
text:
  <+Hellion_Prime|Work> heat output is considerably less,
  however, which is also something to consider.
  <+iceheart> I like heat output
  <+iceheart> it's fucking cold here
  <+iceheart> I can go from 16c to 24c in 15 minutes by turning
  on all screens and the tv
  <+iceheart> then I open a vent to compensate
  <+iceheart> maybe I am not energy star compatible


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763703
text:
  <@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
  <@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
  <@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
  <@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its
  good enough for me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763790
text:
  «%Filash» Are there any ways I can access shit like mp3s on my
  windows drive through linux?
  «+rawr|w3rk» no, linux converts them into .oggs because lunix
  is for communists


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763885
text:
  <CreQ> a lot of millitary interragaters are psychologists
  <thecatisold> and a lot of priests are massage therapists


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.763935
text:
  <Ginger`> In pagecount, the script is about at the level of
  six to seven Shakespeare games, so it may well take awhile. ^.
  ^ A 10% patch was released recently.
  <Ginger`> *plays
  <Ginger`> I can't believe I said Shakespeare games. -.-;


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764095
text:
  <Robot> I heard that a lemon is a good contraceptive.
  <end_game> yeah mate,
  <end_game> i heardit's actually tested to be better protection
  than a condom
  <Robot> Really????
  <end_game> yeah. you can't get a lemon pregnant.
  <Robot> ahahaha
  <Robot> No harm in trying it. Might sting a bit.
  <end_game> you or her?
  <Robot> She can get her own god damn lemon.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907696
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764192
text:
  <crunchyfish> The space shuttle Columbia walks into a bar and
  the bartender says, "Hey, why do you look so down?" The
  shuttle says, "Oh, I just broke up with my crew."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764313
text:
  <hobbit> omg... the reporter on the news just said 'they saw
  the suspect busting off a nine mm'
  <dis^> hah
  <hobbit> thats kinda unprofessional..
  <DSLDemon> lol
  <hobbit> using slang in a news report..
  <DSLDemon> yup it is
  <dis^> yeah it is
  <dis^> sounds good though
  <hobbit> <reporter> And then it was said that he Popped a cap
  in one of his own niggahs... he then proceded to roll with his
  homies and down a 40
  <dis^> lol
  <dis^> cool
  <hobbit> <reporter> Back to you in the studihizzy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764360
text:
  <Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to
  the west.  Continental drift caused those lands to move
  further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity
  making toys for their new red-suited overlord


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764494
text:
  (PJ|) someone released a reencoding of it
  (PJ|) with alot better quality
  (Lan|Work) How do you re-encode something and get better
  quality?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764589
text:
  <[atticus]> My parents think I'm nuts. I sit on my computer
  most evenings laughing at the monitor. :)
  <[atticus]> Then I turn it on and come here. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764639
text:
  <Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off
  images", it only refers to inline images.  Which is why it's
  safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl.  I think it's obvious
  how I figured this out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764700
text:
  <+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
  <+MaNiAk> webcams
  <+MaNiAk> since she has win95
  <+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
  <+Munkey> lol
  <+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
  <@Magus> eww
  <+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764753
text:
  <nersh> someone said the sexiest part of a woman is her
  mind... lol
  <nersh> i can understand lying about that in front of girls
  <nersh> but why do it on the internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764806
text:
  <Ouroboros> You know, I think the modern-day computer tech
  replaces, to some extent, the mystic of ancient times.
  <Ouroboros> Here we have these strange, inexplicable boxes
  that are sometimes possessed by demons, and the mystic comes
  and opens the sacred box and waves his magic charms and things
  and somehow exorcises the spirits and makes everything good
  and whole again.
  <Ouroboros> Then he takes all your money and disappears.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764862
text:
  *** UndErX has joined #help
  <UndErX> sup lamer newbies
  <UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
  <FiEsTy-> well, ask
  <UndErX> no newbie lamer
  <UndErX> lamerz
  <FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes
  me quit IRC.. please
  *** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764911
text:
  <aNuBiS-> im gonna invent a new internet acronym: tltttwt
  <Tokae> wtf is it?
  <aNuBiS-> too lazy to type the whole thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.764962
text:
  <Chris_A> I wonder... doing a search for "vagina" and then one
  for "penis" on bash, which yeilds most results.
  <Robin> Search for "nigger" afterwards.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765007
text:
  <ian_/#linuxwarez> Just think, in 3 years this RAM will
  probably be in some toxic heap in china while little chinamen
  pick through it with solvents to extract gold.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765069
text:
  <Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even
  though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White
  House.
  <Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
  <Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database
  codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
  <Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a
  name that long has to be running NT of some form.
  <Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before
  it crashes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765116
text:
  Flux: I've got a joke for ya...
  Jet: Shoot.
  Flux: Allright, so these two niggers and two spics walk into a
  fag bar
  Jet: HEY GOD DAMNIT MY PARENTS ARE IN THE ROOM SHIT SHIT SHIT.
  Flux: Yeah, I didn't really have a punchline for that one
  anyways


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765165
text:
  <@red> so let me rephrase that
  <@red> you showed up at work completely high on acid and your
  boss didnt fire you because he knows you code better when
  youre on drugs?
  <@bl00e> pretty much


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765213
text:
  <Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than
  windows
  <Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
  <Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW
  MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765265
text:
  <fusionpit> xp won't let me use 98 drivers form my video cards
  <WorthWork> <fusionpit> also my car does not run on diesel as
  previously suspected


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765359
text:
  corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine?
  Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you?
  corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one
  corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings
  corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt
  Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have
  committed that number to memory.
  Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*.
  corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version?
  Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice
  of words.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765459
text:
  <hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
  <hypr> heh
  <hypr> or somthing
  <hypr> old ;P
  <caspuh> hah
  <caspuh> 98?
  <caspuh> they had vinyal then?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765521
text:
  [00:49:53] * Wynn is now known as Wynn|ZzzZ
  [00:50:14] * Gothmog is now known as Goth|aslp
  <Goth|aslp> nightall
  <Wynn|ZzzZ> geez.. don't make it too obvious..
  <Wynn|ZzzZ> at least wait 5 mins, dammnit.
  <Goth|aslp> i cant. i want you i need you oh baby oh baby
  <Wynn|ZzzZ> you *wish* you were Julia Stiles.
  <Wynn|ZzzZ> heck, *I* wish you were Julia Stiles.
  <Goth|aslp> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765576
text:
  <+Azul_Leon2k2> <sigh>
  <+Azul_Leon2k2> anybody know how to get cat blood off your
  suede shoes???
  <+Azul_Leon2k2> nobody?
  <+Azul_Leon2k2> u_u
  <+Azul_Leon2k2> damn furry football


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765675
text:
  (@zany-) omg, I can hear my mom masturbating :l
  (@NpZ^) Ahaha
  (@zany-) wai... she doesn't think I'm home
  (@zany-) brb
  (@zany-) great now I'm grounded
  (@NpZ^) HAHA :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765816
text:
  <anarch> A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised
  illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling
  donkey flesh _ marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported
  Thursday.
  <anarch> cant wait to go to china!
  <Landslide> SOUNDS GRRRRREEEAAT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765857
text:
  [@KiD_Zer0] i have to write about an incident in my life I can
  describe as a natural disaster
  [Sub-Zer0] your birth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.765912
text:
  <Dr_Willis> I also got a "force feedback" mouse :P
  AzMoo[w] [~AzMoo@eth4931.sa.adsl.internode.on.net] has joined
  #***
  <Dr_Willis> wife hates it.. "It Bit me!"
  <Dr_Willis> i had the Vibe set to max. she thohgh she was
  getting electrical-shocks
  <Dr_Willis> :P
  <AzMoo[w]> wow, I came in on the right conversation ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766014
text:
  <clay> i read the word "c'mon" in a comic book
  <clay> so i went to my mom
  <clay> and said
  <clay> mom, what does c'mon mean, and i pronounced it like
  semen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766062
text:
  <theSonarch> is there a command for turning a number into a
  string representation of a number?
  <Aximili> yes
  <Aximili> /msg Aximili (yournickservpassword)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766228
text:
  <John5> ben
  <Ben> what
  <John5> i dont know how to say this but
  <John5> ......
  <John5> im gay
  <Ben> :|
  <Ben> omfg
  <Ben> really?
  <John5> yeh
  <Ben> omfg
  <Ben> well
  <Ben> good luck
  <John5>APRIL FOOL
  <Ben> what the fuck are you on?
  <Ben> its teh middle of june
  <John5> .........fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766286
text:
  <Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
  <Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
  <Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
  <Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
  * ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
  <Ratty`> ergh
  <Ratty`> it's all sticky
  <ToRMeNTeD> you told me to


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766331
text:
  <FunG> i dunno how anyone thats smart could put up with your
  opinionated and pretentious ass. if i were locked in a room
  with you for 10 minutes id stab myself in the face. id have to
  before your personality oozed all over me and make me second
  in command of the idiot ship.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766381
text:
  <ptp`R-N-C`efegege> how many emo kids does it take to change a
  lightbulb?
  <The_only_Vanilla_Willy> HOW MANY?!
  <ptp`R-N-C`efegege> none they just sit in the dark and cry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766428
text:
  Sonsquidku: You know how people always say "it could be
  worse"?
  theonewhotells: yea
  Sonsquidku: Could it get worse than the holocaust?
  Sonsquidku: Was there a guy going "it could be worse" while
  they were being fed into the gas chambers?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766479
text:
  <@IchI> jfk assassination was tight
  <@IchI> dallas
  <@dam1en> im watching it over and over
  <@IchI> they owned him
  <@emo> headshot!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766531
text:
  <@Blaxthos> can anyone see this ?
  <@heath> no
  <@jsb> no
  <@Blaxthos> good
  * Blaxthos heads to the women's locker room


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766579
text:
  <IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
  <BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766631
text:
  <Dane> i had a nice shave just then
  <Dane> it turned out really well for mew
  <Dane> purposely left just enough growth so that i still
  appear young and "hip" but still sufficiently mature and
  masculine
  <cactoid> in other words, gay


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766682
text:
  <Celia> la la la
  * Archy` stretches and slowly moves arm around Craig
  <Archy`> oops
  <Archy`> damn TAB
  <Archy`> erm....
  <@Azhrarn> HAH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766751
text:
  <pres589> Chuffy, were you there?
  <ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man
  <ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there
  <pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the
  trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious
  <pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to
  <pres589> same thing, it was fucked up
  <ChuffyCow> I don't remember
  <ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all
  <pres589> fuck yeah we did
  <ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers
  <pres589> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766805
text:
  <michael-> Of the city's 11,500 firefighters, 2.7 percent are
  black and 3.2 percent Hispanic
  <michael-> reeediculous
  <maff> that's because their darker skin color attracts the
  heat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766857
text:
  <truefalse> I was at the bus stop and saw a poster of
  Voldemort with 'HP 7' printed on it.
  <truefalse> Kind of spoils the ending when you know he's low
  on hit points.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766904
text:
  spoonsucker:  I ordered pizza today (not from Pizza Hut
  because they're not open for lunch on Mondays or something)
  but the delivery driver was a 45 year old Italian-looking lady
  with six times too much makeup on. My dad was home on his
  lunch break and saw her leaving. Then he came storming into my
  room demanding to know if I'd just had sex with a hooker =


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.766952
text:
  <darkdread> Three Middle Eastern Men Found With 1000 Cell
  Phones...
  <videogameaholic> you just used middle eastern and cell in the
  same sentence.  answer the door, it's the fbi.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767008
text:
  <Opie> tell her to sing on aol
  <Puck> To sing on AOL?
  <Opie> that is all she has
  <Puck> I didn't know you could sing on AOL
  <Urban> Keyword: Karaoke


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767063
text:
  <tHeo^doctor-appt`> this is prolly too much information
  <tHeo^doctor-appt`> but I haven't been able to get off in like
  a month or something
  <Miyabi> dude, your nuts must be huge
  <Miyabi> i mean, as a result
  <Miyabi> that wasn't random props


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767113
text:
  <Funk> Hey I have a question for your mother
  <zuKi> Sure thing, let me get her!
  <Funk> Ask her how many Communion wafers you'd have to eat to
  consume a whole Jesus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767161
text:
  <Luigi30> alt.people.ugly.stupid.ops.term
  <Luigi30> The busiest newsgroup in the world!
  * You have been banned from #gamecube (alt.luigi.banned)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767215
text:
  <Dead_Meat|Linux> is there an alternative to sun java jre now?
  <ChrisDKK> sun tea?
  <Dead_Meat|Linux> um...
  <Dead_Meat|Linux> what's the difference?
  <ChrisDKK> one is made with tea leaves the other is made with
  coffee beans


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767278
text:
  <dux0r> giving head must be weird as fuck
  <moot> lol
  <dux0r> cause uve got like
  <dux0r> a pee utensil
  <dux0r> in ur mouth
  <dux0r> like a chunky hotdog
  <moot> xD
  <dux0r> what a weird thought
  <sudo> your penis is like a chunky hotdog?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767335
text:
  <MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
  <MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
  <LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
  <MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND
  GENERAL NASTINESS
  <LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im
  30"? then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767429
text:
  <CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all
  my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767479
text:
  <lovemebaybee'> hey guys asl?
  <rafeil> she just wants to be loved, look at her screen name
  <helminthes> so stick it to her.. a sharp knife that is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767529
text:
  <hawker> just grab a gun then...
  <hawker> end ur misery...
  <TomServo> shooting my boss?
  <TomServo> good idea


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767573
text:
  (lo^fi) ok who thinks the "burning schoolhouse" that comes in
  boxes of fireworks sux ass
  (tiko) bill: I do
  (dawly) me too :)
  (superdave) bill you just have to soak it with gas first


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767623
text:
  <SONIA420> DO U KNOW HOW TO HACK HOTMAIL ACAOUNTS
  <COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> NO.
  <COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> AND ALTHOUGH THIS MAY APPEAR
  TO BE A NON-SEQUITUR
  <COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> I FUCKED YOUR MUM.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767670
text:
  <Reliken> AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head,
  and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde.
  Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the
  creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and
  Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767788
text:
  <fiz> I'm touching my hard drive right now
  <fiz> adjusting the pins
  <Khazwerk> mmm
  <fiz> spinning up my disk
  <fiz> s
  <Khazwerk> what jumper position is it set at?  tell me
  *slowly*
  <fiz> READING/WRITING
  <fiz> READR
  <fiz> READ
  <fiz> READ
  <fiz> WRITE
  <fiz> whew
  <FengWork> that was quick.
  <fiz> yeah, my seek time rocks
  <fiz> spins down


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767844
text:
  <Swedishfish> he encodes to .rm
  <Swedishfish> he cant say shit about divx encoded eps being
  shitty
  <neclimdul> that's not even encoding
  <EddyB43> RM is destruction.
  <EddyB43> I might as well fire up BMP and draw crappy pictures
  of a show while it airs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.767942
text:
  *** Now talking in #12-15yrz
  <Salamander> Hi all!!
  <Petri> Hi a/s/l?
  <Salamander> 53/m/CA
  <Petri> I think ur in the rong place
  <Salamander> Oh no, I dont think I am...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768107
text:
  <Marticus> i'm still looking for an intelligent non-headcase
  female
  <UgLyPuNk> they don't exist
  <UgLyPuNk> all women are head cases
  <toe-wk> its true
  <toe-wk> heres how i break it down in geek talk for you nerds
  to understand
  <toe-wk> males = intel pentium 4's. Cool, reliable, stable,
  tough
  <toe-wk> females = AMD athlons, sure their sexy, and their
  hot...but as soon as they start thinking i wouldnt rely on one
  :D
  <Marticus> and uh, calculators are little girls, and
  mainframes are bbw
  <Annon201> what bout graphic calculators??
  <Marticus> thats when they get some grass on the pitch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768273
text:
  <D5_work> "I am having trouble logging in"
  <D5_work> 'your username is case sensitive'
  <D5_work> "But I know my username is case-sensitive"
  <D5_work> 'okay, let's look at your account'
  <D5_work> 'what's in the username field?'
  <D5_work> "I told you, it's 'case-sensitive'"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768369
text:
  <Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is
  symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and
  unwillingness to work.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768459
text:
  <@sequence> linux has its place
  <@sequence> if nothing else, it keeps the morons out of *BSD
  [S+Z] CTCP VERSION reply from sequence: ircII EPIC4-0.9.2-ssl
  Linux 2.2.16-3 - Accept no limitations.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768508
text:
  <jeremiah> the other day, we were sitting there in class
  during an awkward pause and the teacher was feeling all proud
  of himself [...] and I say: "so mr critzer, when are you going
  to get a real job?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768556
text:
  <aversion> i have an idea
  <aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get
  offended
  <aversion> kthxbye


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768646
text:
  <DarkPhan> humm... i want to find some software that will
  track eye movements on a webcam
  <Spooky42> www.fbi.com/shareware


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768708
text:
  <BigKahuna>so my son came home from school early
  <BigKahuna>terrified look on his face
  <BigKahuna>handed me two pieces of paper
  <BigKahuna>one says he's been suspended for two weeks
  <BigKahuna>the other is a bill for $850 for removing a
  mechanical bull from a swimming pool
  <lhging|brb>HAHAHAHAHA
  <BigKahuna>half of me knows i should punish him, but the other
  half just wants to say "my god i love my kids"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907723
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768830
text:
  <mog> I take pride in being completly bitter and cynical
  <BosTony> I take pride in the fact that Ive gone 5 weeks
  without an STD.
  <mog> and getting pissed off at the smallest aspects of
  society
  <mog> like personalized license plates
  <PsykadelicAngel> Tony, we're so proud
  <Jennilala> I'm getting one.
  <Jennilala> :P
  <BosTony> An STD?
  <Jennilala> no
  <mog> ahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768886
text:
  <blazemore> Windows XP Professional Uptime: 4wks 4hrs 55secs
  <blazemore> time to reboot
  <ScumDog> that's so retarded
  <mandarin> heh...uptime is sad
  <mandarin> more sad is most *nix nerds have longer uptime
  records than relationship records ;)
  <mightyflo> Relationship OSR2 Sexual Uptime: 2wks 6hrs 12secs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768933
text:
  <CrdStang> the only good thing the french ever did was two
  chicks at one time
  <pagan> true dat CrdStang


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.768977
text:
  (^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
  (xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
  (bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
  (nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
  (xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
  (seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
  (^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769031
text:
  <Skum> had a nigerian woman try and take me home, which was
  amusing
  <Mendez> did she use the chatup line "my brother, the former
  economic minister recently died in suspicious circumstances
  but before he died..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769104
text:
  14:51 <@phoniq> so these guys have three kenyans, three
  indians and an egyptian
  14:51 <@phoniq> and they're gonna behead one every 72 hours
  14:52 <@phoniq> and their pictures are available
  14:52 <@phoniq> so i think i'm gonna make a website where you
  can vote for
  which one should get it first
  14:53 <@phoniq> see if it's possible to make the news
  14:53 <@arp> damn
  14:54 <@arp> Survivor: Iraq
  14:54 <@phoniq> that's f***n' wrong, right?
  14:54 < bean_tmt> ... can i laugh?
  14:54 <@phoniq> i dunno
  14:54 <@phoniq> i think a kind of shocked choke is the
  appropriate response


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769154
text:
  <Knghtbrd> something so totally feels wrong ...
  <lisa> ?
  <Knghtbrd> no idea, but going outside right now makes me wanna
  run back inside, bar the door, and hide under the bed.
  <lisa> republicans in town or something?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769254
text:
  <massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend?
  <Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger,
  but go ahead
  <massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked
  her?
  <Rosti_LFC> errr....
  <Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself?
  <massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion
  <Daz> dude she's in the channel
  <massacre> no she isn't
  <Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up
  <Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday
  <massacre> fuck
  <massacre> PLAN B
  <massacre> spam the channel
  <massacre> with text
  <massacre> so it goes
  <Audia> hi
  <massacre> off her scrollback
  <Rosti_LFC> ahaha
  <massacre> FUCK
  * massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!)
  <Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now
  <Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit
  <Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the
  meantime tell him the answer is yes
  <Rosti_LFC> rofl
  * Audia has quit (QUIT)
  <Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right
  there
  <Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that
  badly and still succeed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769308
text:
  <Sumez> Did you fight Ozma?
  <Darth-Phenom> Maybe...who's Ozma?
  <Sumez> The bad-ass optional big boss
  <Darth-Phenom> Where is he?
  <Gaffa> Right behind you!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769358
text:
  <monami> this utility has a macro recording function but no
  loop command
  <monami> so i record a macro, and then put a stapler on the
  keyboard to hold the button down
  <monami> and go have coffee
  <monami> i note that the stapler, on the whole, is a more
  efficient and productive employee than i am


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769455
text:
  <Cantu> whats a SARS? ;[
  <FoshM|J1> =/
  <FoshM|J1> true..
  <acidangel> do u live in a cave cantu lol
  <Cantu> n, los angeles
  <Cantu> and i dont know all the cute little irc abbreviations
  anymore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769506
text:
  <GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead
  me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
  <GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details
  of raping an Internet window.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769553
text:
  <Crispy`> My teacher let me Clear the junk off the student
  computers in class today. Total AIM Buddy Lists cleared for
  good: 5 Total videos of kiddy porn deleted: 3 Total MILF
  Hunter videos deleted: 4 Total Virus games downloaded off
  kazaa in hopes it will be the right game: 7 Knowing I'm not
  alone: Priceless.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769607
text:
  milkmanjb2000: We're talking in biology about dominant and
  recessive genes in reproduction
  milkmanjb2000: and I said "I'm white because I have all
  dominant genes"
  milkmanjb2000: and Matt said, "um, actually, black people have
  all dominant genes"
  milkmanjb2000: looks like someone's genes haven't read world
  history


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769676
text:
  <JoeSmurf> I got drunk, got into a fight, walked like 5 miles
  in the rain to my gf's parents house and got into bed with her
  mother
  <Joesmurf> by mistake
  <Nortica> You fuck her?
  <Joesmurf> I had no clothes on and started talking real dirty
  before my actual gf came in...
  <Nortica> hahah
  <Joesmurf> Yeah that morning coffee was like none other ...
  all three of us cramped around that little table, all thinking
  about what had happened, and no one saying anything except
  like "lovely morning out" and "think it's sposed to rain
  later"
  <Nortica> funny shit
  <Joesmurf> I think her mum was semi into it ... mite break up
  with my gf and go after her dirty hoe mum
  <Joesmurf> plus I wouldn't have to move


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769773
text:
  <Speck> being able to type doesn't mean you're a computer
  nerd.  It just means you have a higher intelligence than a
  turnip


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769821
text:
  *** Quits: ZiGgA (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
  <ZiGgA> help me..
  <ZiGgA> i think i am being packetted!
  <ZiGgA> my receive light is on fulltime!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.769881
text:
  <@Hydro> so I'm trying to install this software, right?
  <@Hydro> And my PC won't install it...
  <@Hydro> I'm telling you, it's either my pc broke, or me being
  stupid.
  <@Hydro> Has to be one of the three.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770060
text:
  <hobbit> hey dude... are your ears burning?
  <Dude> no
  <hobbit> Ah... damn... I need to tweak my voodoo doll then.
  <hobbit> Feeling any groin pain?
  <Dude> heh no
  <hobbit> hrm.... How about a scratchy throat?
  <hobbit> something simple..
  <Dude> nope
  <hobbit> bah... the Book of E-Vile said this would work...
  <Dude> i disabled remote access in controll panel
  <hobbit> hrm.... that might be it.
  <Dude> ya gotta be secure
  <hobbit> hrm... lemme try something else... ::invokes the
  mighty god Hastur:: HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR!
  <hobbit> Anything now?
  <Dude> hmmm... i read uf nope
  <hobbit> you missing your eternal soul?
  * Dude checks
  <Dude> it sez under properties it was never installed
  <hobbit> bah
  <hobbit> Now I have Hastur sitting in my living room demanding
  an eternal soul... and I'm fresh out..
  <Dude> nice knowing ya


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770114
text:
  < Danelope> I know what I need.
  < Danelope> I need the cool shoeshine.
  <@harb> Shoeshine?
  <@harb> wt?
  <@harb> If that has a double meaning, sign me up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770166
text:
  <jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a
  pee-pee.  They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET"
  BEFORE LEAVING.  Flush toilet was in parentheses.  So I
  assumed it was code for something
  <jre> So I "pissed in the sink"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770216
text:
  <Homer> Hydrac7: $400 Cdn or less now, get a job for like two
  weeks
  <Hydrac7> How much is that in USD?
  <Homer> like $12


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770259
text:
  (oscarb) so uhm
  (oscarb) a/s/l
  (session_xo) 52/f/thailand
  (oscarb) marry me
  (session_xo) why?
  (oscarb) because i like orange juice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770311
text:
  <throdgrain> i just shot a bloody rat in my garden
  <throdgrain> in broad daylight ffs!
  <throdgrain> it was like
  <throdgrain> boom headshot
  <throdgrain> i was a dirty awping camper out the bathroom
  window


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770373
text:
  <mightyflo> i still want the milli vanilli cd
  <mightyflo> the only place i've seen it is a smoky as hell
  pool hall
  <scummo> Dr Q's.
  <scummo> I go there specifically to play that entire CD all
  the time!!!
  <scummo> And the best part is, all the people there never get
  that I was the one who put it on
  <scummo> So they always strike up conversation like "Haha.. I
  wonder who the faggot who put this shit on was.."
  <scummo> especially when I had the whole long-haired rocker
  image


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770431
text:
  <knightmare> ugh
  <knightmare> wasn't expecting the 'what makes you stick out
  from other candidates' in a phone interview
  <knightmare> I don't think 'I have an afro' was a good answer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770479
text:
  <hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not
  only against our rules but it is also against the law. It
  constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud.
  Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding
  impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
  <hans> 0_o
  *** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
  <Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770533
text:
  <Measure> haha reading about this japanese video
  <Measure> girl has to survive on a few eggs and semen for a
  week.
  <Measure> can't eat anything else
  <Ravenlily> ew
  <Ravenlily> i hate eggs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770622
text:
  <PeopleProgrammer> www.masterprocrastinator.com is taken
  <TungstenCarbide> you shouldn't have waited so long


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770680
text:
  <TURBOMEAT> my car caught fire.
  <TURBOMEAT> I tried to flick a cigarette out the window
  <TURBOMEAT> and it was only like 1/4 down
  <TURBOMEAT> so it bounced off the window and went under the
  seat
  <TURBOMEAT> 2 streets later there was smoke billowing out from
  under me
  <TURBOMEAT> it landed on some paper
  <TURBOMEAT> then started to burn the material under the seat
  <TURBOMEAT> I wish someone had TOLD me smoking could be
  hazardous


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770725
text:
  *** Guest_011 (amadajoe@ny-auburn1c-81.aburny.adelphia.net)
  has joined #movies-n-games
  *** PlayMate sets mode: +b guest*!*@*.*
  *** Guest_011 was kicked by PlayMate (No Guest**** nicks here,
  type " /nick newnick " to get a real nick and come back)
  *** newnick (amadajoe@ny-auburn1c-81.aburny.adelphia.net) has
  joined #movies-n-games


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770766
text:
  [D1] You know, I started the slammer routine.
  [D1] when everyone was playing for pogs
  [D1] I put down my slammer
  [D1] and it started a huge trend
  [D1] then EVERYONE played for slammers
  [Guilty] You put it on the pile?
  [D1] yeah
  [Guilty] Thats just stupid
  [D1] I was a high roller.
  (McMoo) are you guys discussing pog tactics?
  [D1] yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770818
text:
  <squid> I mean, why pay for the cow, when the sex is free?
  <anju> it wasn't so bad, but i wouldn't wanna do it again


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770895
text:
  <^head^> A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or
  female?"
  <^head^> After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,
  "Well God is both male and female."
  <^head^> This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or
  white?"
  <^head^> "Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
  <^head^> This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay
  or straight?"
  <^head^> Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be
  consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and
  straight."
  <^head^> At this the boy's face lights up with understanding
  and he triumphantly asks...
  <^head^> "Is Michael Jackson God?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.770942
text:
  MasterKayin: Dude, those Kamakazi pilots in WW2 were crazy...
  MasterKayin: If they threw me in a plane and told me to go
  crash into something
  MasterKayin: I'd just take off and go somewhere else
  MasterKayin: Like on vacation or something along those lines
  MasterKayin: I'd go to Hawaii
  MasterKayin: Er... wait...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771036
text:
  <skelter_john> the last challenge involved swimming in icy
  water, two of them chickened out because it was too cold
  <suprdav> bet the nipples would cut glass
  <u`creep> THAT should be the challenge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771082
text:
  <hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown
  by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my
  pees..
  <hypr> fucking bitch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771130
text:
  --> trillback
  (~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net)
  has joined #ps-universe
  <-- trillback
  (~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net)
  has left #ps-universe
  (Repeat about 15 times)
  <Ioshua> +ban trillback plz. I only like this much in and out if it
  involves my woman.
  <Ioshua> or, at least, a friendly looking sock.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771177
text:
  <Lord-Lard-Arse> instead of people acting out historic
  battles, in a few hundred years time we'll all be acting out
  CS matches to our children


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771226
text:
  <Elfin>
  lkmwclldsldldldldldld,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,,e,e,e,e,e,e
  ,e,e,e,,,,eee,e,olwowowoowolsalslslsllslslslslslslllsllsllsllslls
  lsls
  <Elfin> That was me playing keyboard drums.
  <memo> Rock on.
  <Elfin> You know it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771364
text:
  * Reddog is now known as You
  * You have performed an Illegal operation, please Restart
  Windows
  * You is now known as Reddog
  * Desh has quit IRC (Quit: brb gotta restart windows...stupid
  trillian yelling at me)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771411
text:
  DDay22Alpha1243: You voted
  Komataguri: I was standing in line for over an hour.
  DDay22Alpha1243: oh
  Komataguri: and this bitch was behind me.
  Komataguri: Ugly bitch, kept bumping into me purposefully
  every time the line moved and I didn't step forward fast
  enough.
  Komataguri: So I ripped one on her.
  Komataguri: a silent one so no one knew where it came from.
  Komataguri: After a few seconds, teh whole library smelled
  like someone dumped raw sewage and 40tons of roadkill in the
  place
  DDay22Alpha1243: lol
  Komataguri: I never felt so proud


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771458
text:
  <s1um>after meeting a few girls on myspace, i think they need
  to put a warning on the site that says "objects on screen are
  larger than they appear"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771513
text:
  (Mr_Mofo) Corn Bread is teaching me flash, and he says:
  (Mr_Mofo) <cornbread> Have you got any cloves of garlic lying
  around in your house? If you don't, use an onion for this next
  step.
  (burkey) Whats wrong with that? Garlic is an essential part of
  Flash.
  (burkey) Onion gives inferior results.
  (cornbread) See? burkey knows =/
  (burkey) If you don't know that, I'm gueesin you must be a
  n00b of some sorts. Your not a n00b, are you? o_O
  &#8226; Suave sighs, and curses himself after wasting money on
  those 3 bags of onions.
  (Burning) i use tabasco sauce instead
  (bigwurm) cornbread: you also need some diced roma tomatoes
  and mushrooms. you must have mushrooms
  (cornbread) Nah, just using the basic method for now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771565
text:
  Britt: I do have a boyfriend, his name's Scotty, and I touch
  him ;)
  Frag_Fandango: Dare you to ask him for anal sex with the line
  'Ream Me Up, Scotty'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771617
text:
  <fiednmade> also before last year of my mom accusing me of
  being crazy for talking to people over the internet
  <fiednmade> she thought I wasn't really talking to other
  people
  <fiednmade> but to myself in some sort of game
  <fiednmade> and I got medicated and placed in an institution
  for three months


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771677
text:
  <Kasran> did Jesus heal a bunch of people? Possibly
  <Kasran> also apparently he was sin-free
  <Kasran> but we don't hear much about his ciildhood
  <Kasran> it's just
  <Kasran> 1. Birth
  <Kasran> 2. ???
  <Kasran> 3. Prophet!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771727
text:
  <MystMan> you followed me!! you freaky stalker!
  <Cyber_Akuma_Zero> I am not a stalker
  <Cyber_Akuma_Zero> btw, you're out of milk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771773
text:
  <Myst> ez mac? is that a pimping kit or something?
  * Myst just pictures this pimp on the box with gold teeth and
  oversized sunglasses give you on the thumbs up
  <Myst> free faux gold oversized neckchain with 10 proof of
  purchases


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771836
text:
  <Nangijala>   activists in copenhagen have really figured it
  out this time
  <Carrots>   whats going on now?
  <Nangijala>   now instead of throwing rocks and rioting
  <Nangijala>   they have climbed up in a tower
  <Nangijala>   and will jump out if the politicians doesn't
  listen to them
  <Astral\afk>   :D
  <Nangijala>   now there's a problem that solves itself if i've
  ever seen one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.771980
text:
  <Eticam> I work at a computershop
  <Eticam> And you don't wanna know how f***in' STUPID some
  customers are
  <Eticam> I get questions like:
  <Eticam> "What is better, a scanner or printer?"
  <Eticam> "I'm looking for a serious mouse"
  <Eticam> "My internet doesn't work" "What kind of connection
  do you have?" "Windows XP"
  <Eticam> "The mouse you sold me is incomplete" "Ma'am, it's
  meant to have no cable"
  <Eticam> I even had a customer who brought his pc for
  technical service
  <Eticam> "My dog humped the pc and had an orgasm in the power
  supply, and it short circuited" "how's the dog?" "Don't know,
  my wife took him to the vet"
  <Eticam> really, one day I'm gonna shoot myself in front of a
  customer....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772030
text:
  * enwhysea can't wait for the war with iraq
  <MamlaCat> enwhy it will never happen
  <enwhysea> That might be the reason i can't actually wait for
  it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772132
text:
  * zebra does the menstrual blood dance
  <Slvrchair> zebra: your dances scare me.
  <zebra> You should see them in person.
  <zebra> It could be worse.
  <zebra> I could give you the menstrual blood lapdance :P
  <Slvrchair> ew, no :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772184
text:
  <black_dub> Konami isn't American, IIRC.
  <Wanderer> No, they are as Japanese as bukkake and Pocky.
  <MMK> Which would be a *great* name for an anime cover band.
  <Nash> Thank you, Knight. You have brightened my entire week.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772225
text:
  [+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :)
  [Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772373
text:
  Brianna says: im wondering where my cuddle buddy is.
  Jason says: wtf, is that what women call "fuck friends" These
  days?
  Brianna says: no!
  Jason says: well maybe he's "cuddling" with someone else
  Brianna says: fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772423
text:
  <CrackHoe> I was so drunk last night I could not even jerkoff
  <CrackHoe> well I could
  <CrackHoe> but I was so drunk I lost interest


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772524
text:
  <OppeSnopp> anyone know how to clear the history out of
  explorer's damned "textbox memory"? (dont
  wont my wife to get 'black monseter cocks' when
  she's going to do a google that starts
  with the letter b)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772576
text:
  <Tyger>there's something i dont understand...
  <Tyger>why is it that some people are just plain stupid...?
  <Tyger>i mean... i hate stupid people!
  <Tetley>yeah, its a shame women try and play a role other than
  sex and dishwasher in the world


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772623
text:
  <[COOLIO]> could someone tell me what this error means? ->
  [Thu Sep 19 04:04:31 2002] [warn] long lost child came home!
  (pid 10048)
  <mezcal> it means you can notify the police and tell them
  everything is ok now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772725
text:
  <N1Hawk> hydro` is trying to find a good copy on kazza
  <hydro`> yea
  <hydro`> thats like finding a hooker who hasnt been fucked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772777
text:
  <port80> I was trying to do my washing yesterday, she draggeed
  me onto the bed handcuffed me (oh how I struggled) and
  *censored* the *censored* out of me.
  <Hajitorus> plungered the herpes out of you?
  <port80> yes... yes indeed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772818
text:
  PinkBabe571: i have to beat guys off with a stick
  PinkBabe571: =/
  ALLSTAR4212: just beat them off with your hands


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772871
text:
  <aeonite> if you wrap your heat sink in tissue paper it will
  last longer
  <asshat> yeah I know!
  <kmad> haw
  <BChikapa> I just tried that anFIRE FIRE OMG


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772925
text:
  <\> she was gonna come over and hang out tommorow
  <\> but then... this stupid sept 11th thing
  <\> and she has to go play in the band at some picnick
  <\> hows that for you
  <\> terrorists are cockblocking me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.772972
text:
  <Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I
  wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773069
text:
  <PEAKIN`BUZZIN> Any girl interested in 32 Year old, bald male,
  with generous love handles -------> msg me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773142
text:
  <Kalidor> [20:30] * Now talking in #lesbian
  <Kalidor> i'm tempted to burst out with "something's fishy in
  here"
  <mebrillo> lol
  <mebrillo> we pretended to be lesbians
  <mebrillo> they sent us their pictures
  <Kalidor> rofl
  <Kalidor> and?
  <mebrillo> most of them were fucking ugly
  <mebrillo> but there were like 2 that were pretty good looking
  <mebrillo> one fat chick sent herself naked
  <mebrillo> I think that's when I decided to stop going there


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773193
text:
  <ScumDog> I think the coathangers might have something to do
  with all those, ahem, "random" miscarriages
  <shin_k> scum : THAT'S JUST STRAWBERRY JAM ON THE COAT HANGER,
  REALLY!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773246
text:
  <Shadoe> baby collars
  <Shadoe> hahaha
  <Shadoe> "here baby baby" *yank*
  <Shadoe> <---- should not have children.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773294
text:
  <gr0undh0g> I spent an hour and a half once trying to tie a
  hair to a fly
  <kritical> whyd you do that?
  <gr0undh0g> so I could have a pet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773361
text:
  <Mod> he was very nasty. called him that word you never wanna
  call a black man
  <Sirak> ??
  <Mod> no one ever wants to call a black man the word that
  begins with 'n' ends in 'r' and has 'ig' in the middle
  <Sirak> Neighbour?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773559
text:
  <reptile-> My hands are soft and girly-like.
  <reptile-> Masturbating is so much better for me!
  <Taurclave> You dream of handjobs
  <DigDug> reptile- pretends that the hands belong to a girl
  <Taurclave> He probably has painted nails on his favorite hand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773654
text:
  <crowke> With the current web2.0 hype, I think Mary Poppins
  should have an Ajax-powered website at http://
  super.cali.fragi.listic.expi.ali.do.cio.us.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773706
text:
  <Qualjyn> AOL made a keyboard for their users, it looks like
  this:
  <Qualjyn>  ____ ____ ____
  <Qualjyn> ||A |||S |||L ||
  <Qualjyn> ||__|||__|||__||
  <Qualjyn> |/__\|/__\|/__\|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773761
text:
  <cochese04> Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a
  hampster and drop it in the scorpion cage.
  <cochese04> I wanna see what a hampster's face looks like when
  it goes, "oh, fuck."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773855
text:
  essiah00Guy: I can't stand your fuckery.
  jass10816: lol
  jass10816: my mom is standing right behind me
  jass10816: good one
  Messiah00Guy: THE DRUGS YOU ORDERED
  Messiah00Guy: ARE ON THEIR WAY
  Messiah00Guy: GG
  jass10816: im going to get you
  Messiah00Guy: From behind?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773923
text:
  < hyntty> Erik: what is cat in dutch?
  <+Erik> kat
  < PeriSoft_> fucking crazy language
  < hyntty> kankerkat ;|7<
  <+Erik> With the A pronounced as the A in 'what'.
  < PeriSoft_> it's spelled 'kat', but it's probably pronounced
  'voorslphtn'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.773977
text:
  <CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> but your fucking pathetic 14 yr. old
  mine doesn't realize that does it?
  <Accident> :|
  <CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> mind*
  <Accident> at lead i can spell


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774122
text:
  <CrazyDUMPLING> i treat my women like sUGAR
  <Tetsuo> How so?
  <CrazyDUMPLING> i put them inbags and lick them
  <CrazyDUMPLING> or at least i did until that financially
  debilitiating lawsuit
  <Tetsuo> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774184
text:
  <Luthandrel> is anybody in here like, super good with
  computers?
  <Luthandrel> because im having some complicated problems
  <Luthandrel> i asked all of my friends who are good with comps
  but none of them know how to fix it.
  <Luthandrel> so is anyone here insanely good with computers?
  <Techno-Fab> I don't know if I'm INSANELY good, but I'm
  willing to give it a shot.
  <Luthandrel> Ok thenks.  Do you know how to set the time and
  date here?
  <Techno-Fab> ....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774367
text:
  <@Efrael> Funny thing about hard drives: the bigger they are,
  the more porn you download.
  <@Efrael> After a while it seems that there was no upgrade at
  all.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774417
text:
  <DarthSemiAway> man, I passed a church the other day who had
  something like "Not Christian?" on the top line of their board
  outside, and on the line below it, it said "Dude, you're going
  to Hell!" Seriously.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774490
text:
  <Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai!
  He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
  <Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a
  1d10!
  <Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
  <Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
  <Brentai> Well, crud.
  <Brentai> 1d10
  <Dildice> Brentai: 9
  <Brentai> Er, 1d20.
  <Brentai> 1d20
  <Dildice> Brentai: 14
  <Brentai> Crap, and crap.
  <Toen> squish
  <Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller.  It's
  a man's death.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774547
text:
  <Clecky> hey
  <SargeZT> Hey
  <SargeZT> SEX?
  <Clecky> sure
  * Clecky sex
  * SargeZT sex
  <SargeZT> Done
  <SargeZT> Cya
  <Clecky> bye


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774594
text:
  <veryinky> Personally I'd rather be adopted. Since it would
  mean that I was picked instead of randomly produced.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774693
text:
  <Psyche> hi
  <steve_> sobering up yet?
  <Psyche> no
  <Psyche> im still drinking
  * ecks sets mode: -o Psyche
  <ecks> DONT DRINK AND OP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774801
text:
  <Beska> Look at these tom:
  <Beska> SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
  <Beska> FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
  <Beska> ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end
  points toward ceiling
  <Beska> lo
  <Tommy> wtf.. rotf
  <Beska> SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
  <Beska> FAULT: The Bar is closing.
  <Beska> ACTION: Panic.
  <Tommy> O.o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774896
text:
  <UllerSkewl> metric system is better anyways
  <stx-suicidal> werd
  <stx-suicidal> inches are gay
  <puto> your just mad cause you dont have many of them nick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774949
text:
  <me> reeteth are thou who in the name of reetness and uber,
  shephards the unreet through the valley of vodness
  <me> for he is truly his fggt's brother, and the finder of
  lost danistanis, and i will strike down upon thee with great
  hax0rness and furious reetness, those who attempt to get root
  and pwn my brothers, and you will know my name is hp, when i
  lay my hax0r skillz upon thee, heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.774999
text:
  * okram is sad
  <@Aslan> why are you sad, Okram?
  <okram> one of my fellow clan mates in tfc died in a car
  accident
  <Tomalak> Didn't he respawn?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775046
text:
  (wundr) gizm... why do you never use the same nick for more
  than 25 minutes?
  (scolnick) i got tired of 'gizm'
  (scolnick) at first i thought it was dope, just due to the
  fact that tht i liked the letters
  (scolnick) g-i-z-m
  (scolnick) but then it got old to me
  (scolnick) so for now you can just call me lewis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775188
text:
  <RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he
  downloads them from the internet" ...
  <RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
  * Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the
  Internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775246
text:
  <sparcv9> i'm such a dick
  <sparcv9> someone came into my office to ask me if i had a
  sheet of paper, so he could make a temporary CD sleeve
  <sparcv9> so i did an:
  <sparcv9> echo " " | lpr
  <sparcv9> and said "sure, go pick it up off the printer"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775328
text:
  DooD: man im living dangerously
  DooD: i bought publix sushi
  DooD: late at night
  DooD: and now its sitting in my fridge
  DooD: to be eaten tomorrow


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775378
text:
  <IsoFlash> i dumped my girlfriend because she is fucking dumb
  <AciDBatH> woah sweet
  <AciDBatH> i dumped mine cuz she had a penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775556
text:
  <vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
  <RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
  <RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against
  everything I believe in
  <vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for
  that
  <RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
  <vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like
  Jerry Lewis?
  <RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and
  didn't feel like typing that again
  <RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
  <RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous
  though
  <RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
  <vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis!
  Just add Water!"
  <RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
  <RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775610
text:
  <Spiral> sdfklsd;fjs;dlkfjlsd
  <audiosonic> THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR KEYBOARD
  <Spiral> Dude.
  <audiosonic> that's better.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775654
text:
  <lewZer> Man, translating 2 pages of non-spaced,
  non-punctuated, instructions for making lsd is awful rough on
  a 9th grade dropout


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775700
text:
  <reverb> ive been with my girlfriend for 16 years
  * reverb looks at righ hand
  <reverb> sometimes we have threesomes
  * reverb looks at left hand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775748
text:
  <nailhead> Ya, How come there's albinos in all races but
  theres no ppl that are
  the opposeite? like "alblackos" or sumpin?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775798
text:
  <Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my
  hands
  <Snipe> wait, no i dont
  <Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
  <Snipe> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775854
text:
  <WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is
  sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a
  blind 3-legged kitten?
  <Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market
  <Gentleman> yes
  <[N]> yes tape it
  <Gentleman> that is hell material
  <Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.775961
text:
  <mojo> I want me a pet monkey.
  <Synthetic> My aunt had one, the smell was ungodly. It was
  allways beating off and if it got scared it would deficate in
  it's hand a throw it.
  <mojo> I know, that's why I want one. If it can beat it's self
  off then I can teach it how to do it to me.
  <synthetic> ...
  <Capin> Um... so anyway I went to the zoo this one time and
  one of the gorillas stole my dad's wallet!
  <Synthetic> That was no gorilla, it was a black guy in a fur
  coat. The son of a bitch has my shoes.
  <mojo> I still want a monkey if anybody cares.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776013
text:
  <Aury> O.o;; You all have to wait longer for movies to come
  out?
  <leckie> Well yeah... sometimes.
  <Aury> What is that, some sort of backwater hell of a town?
  <leckie> It's the UK Aury.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776064
text:
  <whippy-X> Max Payne (the game) looks cool, but Max Payne (the
  character) looks like he's taking a perpetual shit
  <whippy-X> and it's a bit of a ghey name too eh? Max Payne.
  get it? Max PAIN. very lame. how about he just calls himself
  Action Man.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776151
text:
  Nobdepot signed on at 4:00:27 PM.
  VenuSparkle85 (4:00:37 PM): hey
  Nobdepot (4:00:39 PM): hey
  VenuSparkle85 (4:00:41 PM): brb
  Nobdepot (4:00:54 PM): wtf??? you messaged me just to say
  that?]
  Nobdepot (5:43:35 PM): ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776195
text:
  red sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
  *** creepen12 was kicked by biohzrd (banned: (your 500 free
  hours will not be spent here./6.05.02))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776253
text:
  <Embercide> i'm just waiting to hear someone say "omg minkus
  was trying to chat this chick up at a party and he told her
  that he's a GM Sexpert"
  <minkus> Embercide i don't think so :) i'd be more witty and
  go "I have GM animal Taming and I allways wanted a babe like
  you"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776300
text:
  <r00> man making photoshop swap out on a 512MB system is like
  hitting cervix with a 2" penis
  <r00> forget i said that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776366
text:
  <zeitgeist> or you could stick in some crap sendmail and root
  that
  <zeitgeist> so many ways to get a shell dude :)
  <lsd> hehe
  <zeitgeist> and they arent illegal if its your box :P
  <Fryboy> hehe
  <Fryboy> "..and its not cheating cos its YOUR DOG"
  <lsd> lol
  <zeitgeist> and its not homosexual incest cause its YOUR
  stepbrother
  <Fryboy> O_O
  <Fryboy> and its not trespass to property, cos it was running
  SCO
  <zeitgeist> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776424
text:
  <scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a
  Psychologist?
  <MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of
  easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the
  former does the whole talking bit
  <scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve
  into Psychiatrist?
  <Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
  <Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different
  university for him to evolve


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776494
text:
  <@LinkinEp> brb
  <@LinkinEp> in 15
  <@motherb|tch> dont come back
  <@motherb|tch> itz all good
  <@kmad> ,lol
  <@motherb|tch> peace
  <@kmad> hes masturbating
  <@LinkinEp> evil
  <@kmad> u said brb
  <@kmad> go brb
  <@motherb|tch> thats right
  <@LinkinEp> i dont need to go
  <@LinkinEp> my bro is handling it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776545
text:
  <revision> in biochem class today, and our teacher, has the
  hugest fastest ass ever, massive fat ass right.
  <revision> so hes writing on the board, and moving as he goes,
  when all of a sudden *WHACK*. he turned around too fast and
  his FAT ass hit the corner of his desk reall really hard.
  <revision> lol drops to the ground for like 30 seconds while
  clutching his rump, then gets up and runs out, blubbering all
  the way.
  <revision> i have never laughed so hard at someone elses
  expense.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776604
text:
  <chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play
  because my wrist hurts
  <chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
  <chris--> and i say swinging a bat
  <chris--> and it sounds stupid.
  <chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776662
text:
  <@haleguu> I cant believe RKelly has more kids out
  <@haleguu> err vids
  <spookz[d34dNb3d]> what
  <spookz[d34dNb3d]> lol
  <spookz[d34dNb3d]> what vid does he have out now?
  <@Tama|LongVacation> the one where hes humping little 13 year
  olds
  <spookz[d34dNb3d]> is it called "i am a lolicon" ft 14yr olds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776706
text:
  <zig> i remember when i was on AOL and i thought the internet
  was divided into sections like... GAMES MOVIES SPORTS NEWS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776770
text:
  <Frosty> So, howabout Recent Sports Event?  An impressive
  display of physical acumen, no?
  <LOAF> OH NO EA OWNS SPORTS NOW
  <LOAF> Only an *EVIL* monopoly would buy a license for
  something!
  <Frosty> ONLY GOTHS PLAY EVIL MONOPOLY.
  <LOAF> I have dotcomopoly
  <Halman> Wow, are all the squares reposessed?
  <LOAF> Most of them no longer exist.
  <Halman> Hehehehehehehehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776822
text:
  <eras3r> who the hell is digdug?
  <element_a> he used to be an old video game
  <element_a> then he mutated into an IRC user after someone
  stole his shovel
  <element_a> tragic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776873
text:
  lemonlimeskull: Room-mate spends so much time strung-out that
  he hasn't been taking out the trash, so I just started leaving
  the full bags all over the kitchen floor.
  lemonlimeskull: Was all fun and games for me until he called
  911 about the 'black midget gang'.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.776975
text:
  *** bflyblue (shaun@a4-jhb-57.dial-up.net) has joined #gothik
  <bflyblue> identify d
  *** bflyblue has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command
  used by Jezebel)))
  <Jezebel> *blink*
  <Jezebel> omigod
  <Jezebel> hahahahha
  *** Jezebel is now known as Wither
  <Wither> no one say a thing :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777021
text:
  <Sull> what is this obsession with trading pics?
  <lostsoul1> it is kind of like pokemon...you gota collect them
  all


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777066
text:
  [Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining
  trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute
  of an erection


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777118
text:
  *** MathAngel has left #vancouver
  <Phuser> math angel?
  <bv3> wtf is a math angel
  <Phuser> that is the worst nick i've ever seen
  *** Phuser is now known as SocialStudiesWizard
  <SocialStudiesWizard> i damn thee


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777166
text:
  <sta-hi> its too bad that i really like their voices... at
  least the end
  result after mixing, and that i have an affinity for
  russians...
  <sta-hi> tatu is just too dumb to fit my perceptions.
  <sta-hi> they confuse me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777261
text:
  <Tetsuya_Ryuji> I just had sex
  <Tetsuya_Ryuji> And it was good
  <Roovis> testuya, try the multiplayer version, its better.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777307
text:
  <@PhiL> jesus fucking christ, hitting tyrant with the knife is
  like poking a small baby in the stomach
  <@PhiL> the motherfucker giggles in your face, then claws it
  off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777354
text:
  <Lou_Ferrigno> I gain $100.000, per month, and i have a z3 im
  my garage. And im bigger than you, you are subnutrition ,
  hacker stupid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777410
text:
  <daveemt>: talk
  <JoePike>: mmmmmffffgghhhhrrrrruuuuuggggg
  <daveemt>: WTF was that?
  <JoePike>: I dunno. A copy of Hellen Kellers Twitter post?
  <daveemt>: jesus
  <JoePike>: Yeah, hell will be warm


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777460
text:
  <cpb> wonder if there's a strip club that needs a linux
  admin...
  <clockwork> i was about to balk at that but then i thought
  about it and realized strip clubs don't have windows


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777562
text:
  * Professor sets mode: +m
  <Professor> Listen up, people.
  <Professor> 1.) Religion-chat is done, since we're
  degenerating into bickering.
  <Professor> 2.) Goombas are traitorous members of the Mushroom
  Kingdom who joined Koopa for a share of the power. It says so
  in the SMB manual.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777613
text:
  «@rewobo» how do i reset my bios memory?
  «@sh0ck_SMU» pull the bios chip!
  «@sh0ck_SMU» then put it back in
  «@sh0ck_SMU» while the computer is running
  «@sh0ck_SMU» you have to time it right though!!
  «@sh0ck_SMU» or else you'll fry something
  «@rewobo» blah!
  «@rewobo» i just bend one of those bios chip!
  «@rewobo» legs
  «@buzz» rofl!!!
  «@sh0ck_SMU» HAHAHAHAHH
  «@rewobo» what's wrong wit pulling the bios chip?
  «@buzz» YOU DONT PULL OUT BIOS CHIPS
  «@buzz» THEY STAY ON THE MOBO FOR LIFE!@
  «@rewobo» oopz!
  «@rewobo» no wonder it's so fuken tight!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777671
text:
  <IanJ> so I got on the elevator here to come up to my room and
  these girls were in there and they were like "You know, you
  live on our floor but we never get to see you!" and I'm
  like... "Duh... uhm... yeah... uhh.... well I don't know you
  guys..." and then there was an awkward silence. but when we
  got back to my floor I pulled out my electric guitar and
  started wailing on it. and they accepted me. and I am now the
  king of earth.
  <ElCarpeto> Ian masters tribal ethics.
  <IanJ> the real ending to that little story is a lot more
  depressing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777727
text:
  <stuberg> we got home from fishos at about 3 am drank as fuck
  <stuberg> drunk*
  <stuberg> and decided to have this mass acid/shrooms binge
  <stuberg> and we kept goin all mornin on it like trippin out
  crazy and watching some chinese subtitle moviee
  <stuberg> and at about 8.30 in the mornign paulie decides he
  has to go to school and he actually left and walked to school
  <pualat> ur friend went school on an acid/mushies trip nice
  <stuberg> no no u dont get it, hes 24 and owns his own
  business hes not sposed to go to school


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777837
text:
  <Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of
  Rossell's ass?
  <ChanServ>  Entrope : No.
  <Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
  <Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
  <DrMagus> lol
  <Rossell> we're Siamese twins
  <Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777943
text:
  <elite_chaR> butcher im sitting like right behind you at
  lanwar :D
  <elite_chaR> SO NO FUNNY BUSINESS
  <elite_chaR> NO WEIRD NOISES
  <elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SMELLS
  <elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SPELLING
  <butcher> dude, too late, I just f4rt3d
  <butcher> that's a wierd noise, a weird smell, and a weird
  spelling.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.777984
text:
  -!- Topic for #Linux: FAQ: http://faq.linuxops.net/ * Welcome
  to Intro to Perl. Lesson 1, regular expressions: /\o.o/\ +
  foot = /\.\//\/\./


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778178
text:
  <Tremolo> All right, you want a story eh? Welll fine
  <Tremolo> "One day in the middle of the night, two dead boys
  got up for a fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew
  their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the
  noise and came to shoot the two dead boys. If you dont believe
  this lie is true, ask the blind man he saw it too,"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778235
text:
  <Brenty> You know, I think the media really fucked up when
  they called it "software piracy"
  <Brenty> Everyone WANTS to be a pirate
  <Brenty> If they'd called it "software faggotry" everyone
  would still buy all their shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778291
text:
  <fyre> better delete that file
  <fyre> before you steal all my intellectual property!
  <black-hand> haha
  <fyre> if my intellectual property was a monopoly square
  <fyre> i'd be one of the cheap purple ones


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778341
text:
  <Vis> ill open it in notepad, print it
  <Vis> fax it
  <Vis> and you can type it up
  <Vis> and save as .avi


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778387
text:
  <abcbooze> a patriot missle shot down a british aircraft
  <i8> Damn British pilots flying into our missiles...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778473
text:
  <purem> my sk00l had an anthrax scare today
  <purem> it ended up being some poor guys coke :(
  <purem> he's prolly gonna get expelled :/
  <purem> or at least kicked outta the faculty
  <purem> and then executed
  <Morris> haha
  <Morris> They mistook some coccaine for anthrax?
  <purem> yeah
  <Morris> hehe
  <Morris> Poor guy
  <Morris> All he wanted, was to do his lines.
  <purem> ya
  <purem> it's bad enough that he lost his coke, but he had to
  go and quarintine like 600 people into that building for like
  4 hours
  <purem> heh
  <Morris> :/
  <purem> rough day
  <Morris> Coke heads around the world now lable their coke with
  "Not Anthrax" stickers.
  <purem> "COCAINE INSIDE"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778529
text:
  <X> we women have this secret society
  <X> if we say not to have sex with a guy
  <X> then no one has sex with that guy
  <X> u just got urself black-listed
  <X> heheheh
  <Dan> heh
  <Dan> i think ive been blacklisted for a while


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778593
text:
  <bob> you're like "i want something that uses gtk :(" and
  redhat's like "YOU MUST NOW INSTALL GNOME-CORE; GNOME-TOYS;
  GNOME-QUAKE; GNOME-PRETTY-CAT-THAT-DANCES-ON-YOUR-WINDOWZ"
  <bob> "Press Space Bar to install 1986 Space Shuttle
  Schematics"
  <bob> "Or Enter to install HAM RADIO to RealPlayer signal
  converter"
  <bob> "Or press nothing, and I will Reboot"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778634
text:
  (@WrmSlayer] wow
  (@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of
  dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
  (+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
  (@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778698
text:
  * Joins: Niro77
  <Niro77> hi
  <Niro77> anyone here?
  <Niro77> ...
  * Niro77 yawns
  <Niro77> hellloooooo
  <Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
  <Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
  <@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in
  this ".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778748
text:
  <Praetor> bob: even so, if I don't have to write it and it
  works then what the hell do I care?
  <evilbob> you care because I opened my mouth and talked to
  you, bitch. and I didn't even get a thank you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778844
text:
  <PrincessLeia2> he's not my step dad, he's my mother's new
  husband
  <PrincessLeia2> that way i can say that my stepbrother that i
  dated isnt really my stepbrother


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778900
text:
  * @Magn0lia catches TollsXP and gives him an atomic wedgie
  *  TollsXP 's nether regions emit radiation now
  *  ramoth4 gives TollsXP an iWedge
  *  TollsXP 's nether regions are now manufactured by apple
  *  ramoth4 gives TollsXP a WedgieXP
  *  TollsXP 's nether regions crash
  < TollsXP> or perhaps they hang ;)
  < TollsXP> but I certainly hope they don't freeze.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.778955
text:
  <@moss> oh jesus
  <@moss> its 6 PM
  <@moss> not am
  <Tiq> XD
  <Tiq> What have you missed, moss?
  <@moss> uh... wednesday
  <Tiq> HAHAHA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779009
text:
  <classNTBk> lifetime kicks ass
  <classNTBk> its got designing women
  <classNTBk> its slogan may be "television for women", but its
  attitude is "kickass enough for studs"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779061
text:
  <BlinkingBear> 'manipulating' is a catholic term for
  masturbation
  <flawd_> !dict manipulation
  <MarvinAndroid> - 2: the action of touching with the hands or
  the skillful use of


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779105
text:
  <Targaff> MUD = fighting and stuff, MUSH = sitting around
  getting collectively high ovr a net connection


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779209
text:
  <Glen> hi, I am explorer.exe. sometimes when you are doing
  anything at all, I will just freeze for ten minutes. All of my
  brother and sister windows will also freeze, because they are
  sad for me. Maybe we will come back, maybe not, it will be a
  surprise!
  <Alex> Ohh the suspense
  <Glen> it is like a thriller novel
  <Alex> A race against time
  <Glen> a twisted web of deceit
  <Glen> a woman without a past, a detective without a future
  <Glen> a file browsing application without proper thread
  isolation


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779259
text:
  (timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
  (timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
  (timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
  (timmo) classic jestuh quote
  (timmo) how can that be -61
  [pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779312
text:
  <Vartia> by the way... reading the entire review for doom on
  pcgamer... I could not find why they really gave it 94%
  <eldeerk> you want to know why they gave it 94? they are all
  giddy school girls sat infront of the screen gooo "ooooh doom
  3, think he'll ask us to the prom, he so dreamy"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779356
text:
  <PsychicSeagull> I should make a book - Procrastination for
  Dummies!  It will just be a bunch of empty pages.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779401
text:
  <Grumman> man, tough week for my fantasy hockey team
  <JustNoodle> any luck with your fantasy sex life?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779491
text:
  <pooshda> ICQ is nicer than AIM because it doesnt pop up like
  BLAM I JUST FUCKED UP YOUR BRUSH STROKE NIGGA!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779541
text:
  balial: docvin: 24 blows
  docvin: I know, but I can't stop watching.
  docvin: It's like a fat stripper.
  docvin: OK, that wasn't a very good analogy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779583
text:
  [suxbad] scott
  [suxbad] im coming to visit asheville soon
  [@teki] oh god
  [@teki] maybe we not get arrested this time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779633
text:
  <ph0tek> Jemm, you're a women-magnet(R) ?
  <Jemm> yeah.. unfortunately the wrong end :(
  <ph0tek> hehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779683
text:
  <DigDug> how about i make a special back door, just for you
  :-)
  <Amanda_> Oh, that'll work just as well
  <McMoo> pen just invited you to have ass sex with him


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779738
text:
  <+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
  <+Ethelion> it's weird
  <+Ethelion> they're like fucking ninjas
  <+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
  <+Ethelion> yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779791
text:
  <JustAGirl> did i miss something here?
  <KArmA-> were you sleeping?
  <KArmA-> is your ass sore?
  <JustAGirl> no on both counts
  ð LabMonkey hides the vacuum hose
  <KArmA-> then no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779843
text:
  <ImpLin> i need to call my GF
  * ImpLin initiates call
  <ImpLin> no one be home
  <ImpLin> damn
  <ImpLin> my friend isnt home either
  <ImpLin> guess ill have to settle for you all :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779896
text:
  <@Linguica> wooo
  <@Linguica> amy jo johnson naked
  <@arioch> whoa
  <@arioch> arcing hydra bow
  <@Linguica> and such is our difference


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.779988
text:
  *** thebold has quit IRC (Ping timeout for thebold
  [public1-sout4-5-cust8.sout.broadband.ntl.com])
  *** jay` has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** TunkeyMicket has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** ThE_DeViL has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** anthrax has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** red_phive has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** BH|lnk has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** stressball has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  *** redphive has quit IRC (Largo.Hub.US.GamesNET.net
  RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
  <Rossell1> damn, not as good a netsplit as I had hoped, :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780036
text:
  <TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no
  more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really
  H2S04.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780082
text:
  <Mr_sLacKeR> were do i find crosshair files and were do i
  instal them too?
  <Jade-> the internet and your computer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780145
text:
  <DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
  <DAL9000> look at tasmboy
  <DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
  * logosmani looks
  <Rud0lf> heh
  <TasmBoy> its not working
  <DAL9000> because you're you.
  <DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive
  loop of stupidity.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780197
text:
  <saint_> i should masturbate
  <saint_> but like
  <saint_> my sister lives with me
  <Agent_069> hahaha
  <Agent_069> who needs masturbation when you have a sister? :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780309
text:
  <MMB> !8ball AM I THE HOTTEST GUY IN HERE
  <ChanServ> MMB: No.
  <MMB> !8ball do you know who is?
  <ChanServ> MMB: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
  <Yardbomb> !8 It's me isn't it?
  <ChanServ> Yardbomb: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
  <Ant-> !8 you said that out of pity didn't you?
  <ChanServ> Ant-: Yes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780357
text:
  <Shard>: I think my GF is pregnant...
  <Sapphon>: You should pimp her out to cover the abortion, she
  cant get pregnant twice ;).
  <Shard>: ....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780410
text:
  * Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot
  snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes
  don't have feet!"
  * GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and
  getting detention


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780456
text:
  <stupidMM> A District council must have designed woman.
  <stupidMM> Only a they would put a playground next to a sewage
  plant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780511
text:
  <A_Analog> like alot of atheists I figured my life has
  absolutely no meaning even though I persue goals and have a
  job, school etc.
  <lobyaway> A_Analog: the pain of existence
  <A_Analog> yeah mate
  <psykoz> well we're all just holograms anyway :).. vibrations
  in space time moving along the string of our universe, an
  instrument far beyond our comprehention
  <A_Analog> amen
  <lobyaway> pass the bong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780561
text:
  <steelcap> anyone here ever used NetUseAdd() in delphi?
  [Mr2001] never heard of it.
  [Mr2001] sounds like a commie function to me. are you a red?
  <steelcap> fuck no
  <GoonyBird> heh
  <GoonyBird> UniteWorkers() is a commie function


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780618
text:
  <@Porn-Star> (OS) Windows XP Home Edition (5.1 - 2600),
  (installed for) 40w 1d 13h 12m, (uptime) 2d 3h 50m 28s,
  (record) 3d 11h 6m 1s
  <@Cheez> (OS) Windows XP Professional, Service Pack 1 (5.1 -
  2600), (installed for) 6d 7h 2m, (uptime) 13m 2s, (record) 16h
  31m 43s
  <@Porn-Star> 16hrs
  <@Porn-Star> tee hee
  * @Cheez shrugs
  <@Cheez> its only on when im using it
  <@Porn-Star> scary enough, so's mine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780674
text:
  <NaNaMagic> he is never too busy to answer our prayers
  <qux> satan or god? you're confusing me now?
  <NaNaMagic> he has extensions on his ears
  <qux> like Mr Spock?
  <NaNaMagic> yes  jesus has ears for all


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780727
text:
  2:49°am -(Nova`)- I'd like to cover your soft milky breasts
  with chocolate syrup and make a trail that goes down to
  between your legs. Then Ill slowly start licking up every
  drop.
  2:49°am -(Nova`)- err
  2:49°am -(Nova`)- SHIT!
  2:49°am -(Nova`)- wrong chan
  2:49°am -(Nova`)- sry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780778
text:
  * cuba has joined #uplink
  <cuba> hoi all
  * Dave2|Laptop bans trade with cuba
  * Luigi30 arms cuba with missiles
  <KeaponLaffin> Luigi30: hey now, no bay of pigs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780825
text:
  *** 10 points awarded to queen_daisy33. 'carb': (1+1+1+2)x2.
  jesus_onacracker: haha
  queen_daisy33: woo 10 points
  queen_daisy33: take that atkins


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780881
text:
  *** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
  *** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
  *** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
  *** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
  <Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that
  just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
  <Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
  <Flirbnic> ...
  <Flirbnic> I have no life.
  <TheRealMatt> no... no you don't


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780923
text:
  [u^A] jimmiejaz: have you use macos?
  [jimmiejaz] no.
  [u^A] it looks cool on tv
  [u^A] oh
  [syberghost] You can install MacOS on a TV?
  [syberghost] I knew it went on new-age toilets, but not TVs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.780967
text:
  <CiXeL> apparently a customer got pissed at us this morning
  and sent our sales secretary goatse.cx as an attachment


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781036
text:
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> ok we are going to make one up
  <chibi> 24hrs or something
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> and stage it
  <chibi> k
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> the next thing i say u say "count me
  in"
  <chibi> k
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> im going to take a dump on your face
  <chibi> count me in
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> rofl
  <MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> GENIOUS
  <chibi> indeed
  <chibi> help if you spelt genius right :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781090
text:
  <exemplary> !BrewMstr (meatloaf)
  -paradise_by_the_dashboard_light.mp3
  <exemplary> well then
  <exemplary> i'm gay
  <exemplary> don't tell


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781182
text:
  <Guyp> i want to join the red army and then kill the
  capitalist snake!
  <Guyp> hmmm
  <Guyp> you cant join the russian army online :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781237
text:
  *** LiL^EbBiE was kicked by Avatar (it's rude to not reply
  when someone's talking to you)
  <Avatar> i'm gonna be a great father
  <arturo> sif
  <arturo> you'll just gaffer tape them up when they say rude
  words and kick them out of the room every time they play up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781291
text:
  * Craig thinks what it would be like if he had a 20" peins...
  <Spooky> You'd have to wear a kilt
  <Villager> you'd need to buy more bin liners
  <Craig> would I collapse if I got an erection?
  <Spooky> And you could never ride a motorcycle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781342
text:
  <Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with
  your friend and you
  woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would
  you tell anybody?
  <Celestya> i dont think so
  <Mikkel> Wanna go camping?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781396
text:
  <dayve> i was pissing in a toilet tonight at the movies.. in
  the cubicle bit
  <dayve> then i look at the wall and see some guy has tagged
  the letters BBS
  <dayve> then i caught myself thinking "fuck.. i'd better hurry
  up"
  <evlisisdead> you fucking nerd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781437
text:
  (Zaphod): now, would you like knee pads for that, or are you
  going bare back ?
  (Matthew): doesnt matter, its only irc
  (Matthew): so you choose
  (Zaphod): Matthew - whatever you like, as long as you wear
  pretty red lipstick, its all good with me
  (Matthew): k, but let me get my tweasers and magnifying glass
  (Zaphod): you wanking yourself at the same time huh ?
  (Zaphod): kinky


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781499
text:
  <sdodson> can you provide that in wma format?
  <Corydon76-home> Only if you can provide an encoder
  <Corydon76-home> but it has to be able to run on my Apple IIgs
  <Wonton> Wma sucks
  <sdodson> you can encode oggs on your Apple IIgs?
  <Corydon76-home> No, but if you're going to be an asshole
  about encoding formats, I'm going to be an asshole about the
  platform the encoder needs to run on.
  <Catonic> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781553
text:
  <Archer> Of course, the most annoying part
  <Archer> Was "My heart will go on" ;_;
  <Luger>  all of canada sincerely apologizes for Celine Dion
  <Luger> in our defense, she's french


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781602
text:
  * kanis lost something for mouthing off to an admin
  <Cybsled> I hope it wasn't virginity
  <kanis> fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781659
text:
  <Jim> WOAH, HUGE STORY FROM FOX NEWS
  <Jim> KIDS WHO DRINK ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SEX
  <Frinky> WOW
  <Frinky> I never would have guessed that
  <Swimguy37> no kiddin
  <Jim> It's almost as shocking as their "there are perverts on
  the internet" story


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781707
text:
  <pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
  <Glitch> lol, of what?
  <tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781866
text:
  <MindSpark> So the officer stops me and asks for my license
  and registration
  <MindSpark> After handing them to him , he asks who the car
  belongs to
  <MindSpark> I tell him it's my wifes
  <MindSpark> He asks if I have an authorization, because you
  have to have some proof that you're allowed to ride a car
  that's not yours
  <MindSpark> I go "Sir, I ride the OWNER of this car personally
  with no authorization, do you really expect me to have an
  authorization to ride her car ?"
  <MindSpark> Officer hands me back the papers in silence and
  salutes me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781919
text:
  Axion: u know
  Axion: one day
  Axion: the FBI's gonna bang down my door thinking im a
  pedophile
  Axion: and then realize im only 16
  Axion: lol
  Alucard: bwahahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.781969
text:
  <drag-n> system uptime: 16h43m40s
  <drag-n> the sad thing is
  <drag-n> i've been at the pc the whole time.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782016
text:
  <xetlain> 376 lines of code so far I think
  <xetlain> and that took me like 3 hours, lots of yelling, two
  packets of cigs, 4 liters of coke, and three wanks to get
  done.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782076
text:
  <mazix> IAN VAN DAHL CASTLES IN THE SKY 8.99 Genre: SOUL/R&B
  <mazix> Released: 12/19/1900
  <mazix> Country: USA
  <mazix> this song is older then i thought
  <SJ7Trunks> haha
  <Crom> AHHHHHHHHH
  <Crom> MILLLENIUM BUG
  <Crom> WE ALL GONNA DIE
  * Crom hides.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782128
text:
  * ILoveJackDaniels is gonna set up a "Ken's Typos" quote site
  <kensplace>  msssake me anon but ken still
  <ILoveJackDaniels> Ken: Lay off the crack. Seriously ;)
  <kensplace>  lol
  * kensplace promises not to slay antyother word


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782178
text:
  <InvisableMan> with the new P4s and the amd opteron...
  <Wish> Apple getting bashed everywhere :)
  <InvisableMan> apple is the chick at the bukakke party


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782224
text:
  <Aussie> I was listening to some girls talking in a video
  store.
  <Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her
  learners permit because she had used both hands to change
  gears.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782289
text:
  <Bleve> where an engineer says "1/0 = infinity"
  <Bleve> and a mathematician says "1/0 is undefined"
  <Bleve> and a SPARC designer gets root
  <Bru> which sparc designer is this?
  <Bru> oh
  <Bru> heh, I read that as 'and a SPARC designer gets A root'
  <Bru> hence my scepticism


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782347
text:
  <Undine> To celebrate football fan twattishness, Birmingham
  will once again shut down.
  <Undine> Because of the fracas of the last match, twats
  climbing onto bus roofs as they waited in traffic.
  <Undine> The routes around the major bars will be shut.
  * Hawx imagines Birmingham "shutting down"...
  <Hawx> Like Christmas lights going off...
  <Hawx> "It is now safe to turn off your Birmingham"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782399
text:
  <zAim\brb> let webcam chat
  <PriMa^BeLLa> let me put on sum makeup...
  <PriMa^BeLLa> bfrb
  <PriMa^BeLLa> brb^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782453
text:
  <carcoal> what's a good car?
  <carcoal> truck or sub
  <jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782500
text:
  <Tankero> Well, when the SWAT team comes through the window,
  I'm not going down without a fight. One of them is going to
  get a cat to the face.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782550
text:
  <Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew
  <Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782608
text:
  <Fuzion> research has shown that men are less likely to
  attempt suicide, but more likely to succeed.
  <Kadaj>  it's because they tend to use guns, while women use
  things like sleeping pills.
  <Fuzion> that just pisses me off.
  <Fuzion> the last thing you are ever going to do... would it
  kill you to do it right?!
  <Fuzion> ...
  <Fuzion> wait


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782658
text:
  <InstrucT> i need to upgrade the memory to 1 gig, considering
  just plugging in the dimm i mean seriously why do i need to
  shut down
  <Path> instruct: you have won the "stupidest person ive ever
  seen on irc" award for 2002.
  <Path> congratulations


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782702
text:
  [guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even
  hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking
  into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782747
text:
  Phut: ooh
  Phut: I just had an idea
  Phut: I wanna save up a lot of money...... rent a billboard,
  and just simply put "www.goatse.cx" on it.  Nothing else but
  that.
  Phut: that would own


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782801
text:
  <pmMike> getting onto bash is like breaking into a tank
  <Sea_BBL> although nopt quite as satisfactorry when you have
  pulled it off.
  <Sea_BBL> -bad spelling
  <Erasmus> To be honest if you spend a lot of time trying to do
  either you've made a wrong turn in life somewhere.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782864
text:
  <orion> hold on here
  <orion> does the cube have a dvd drive?
  <Amanda`> It's probably a 12x cdrom
  <orion> ><
  <orion> insulting the cube is like kicking me in the privates
  <orion> i don't know how to eject the cdrom
  <Amanda`> drag it to the trash can
  <orion> strike two


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782921
text:
  <drunkers> hey what name am i under?
  <[Piratez]> drunkers
  <drunkers> what?
  <[Piratez]> huh?
  <drunkers> i asked what name am i under?
  <[Piratez]> drunkers you fool
  <drunkers> never mind ill ask someone else


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.782965
text:
  <ItaLiaNStaLLioN> hey i deleted internet explorer by accident
  and now i need a browser asap, could some1 send me it plz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783061
text:
  <Palpaleos> ... http://crazy.codetroop.com/randimg/?
  mullet7.jpg
  <dn> he looks like a girl
  <Him> it is a girl, dn
  <dn> she looks like a guy then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783181
text:
  <Guilty> Are you suggesting that the pentagon was hit by a
  space shit and to cover it up the government stages a plane
  hijacking
  <kisama> yeah, and the twin towers were never there either.
  <peng> yes
  <peng> the government makes up an airplane
  <peng> with a passenger list and all
  <peng> to coincide with the WTC
  <kisama> then dick cheney sticks a finger up gwb's ass
  <peng> this shit goes deep man
  <kisama> and says "it's gonna be ok, baby bush, it's alright."
  <kisama> "have a teddy bear"
  <kisama> and osama bin laden sits down and discusses pokemon
  with the president over tea and crumpets.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783235
text:
  <+Merrick> Ugh
  <+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
  <+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
  <+Merrick> I HATE IT
  <+FDR> are you a priest?
  <+Merrick> No an altar boy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783292
text:
  <MillitePress> Yeah, it's about masturbation and stuff. Weird
  book.
  <jamessheen> whats masturbation
  <MillitePress> ...
  <Kail> ...
  <Nikul> ...
  <MillitePress> It's a touchy subject


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783346
text:
  <Jed_D`Lagged> I don' tknow, I really woulden't want a penis I
  coulden't hide under my desk.
  <Jed_D`Lagged> Or one that would take more than one hand to
  masturbate
  <Farnarcle> did i miss something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783397
text:
  <Willeth> well, off to bed
  <Smaug> adios.  you damn english and your early bedtimes.
  <Willeth> pssht. it's a small price to pay for living in the
  future.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783459
text:
  sovquestionmark> TV/ Movies: Category: Highlander: What
  was the name of Duncan MacLeod's monk mentor?
  @sovquestionmark> Here's your 1st hint: da____
  [Darius]> I should know this
  @sovquestionmark> Time's up! The answer was: darius
  @sovquestionmark> OMFG
  @sovquestionmark> LOL
  @sovquestionmark> !topic travis fails at life so hardcore
  ChanServ changes topic to 'travis fails at life so hardcore'
  [Darius]> I do.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783555
text:
  <Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than
  does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
  <kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up
  words, fuckface.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783615
text:
  <Symantec> HAHAH
  <Symantec> my dogs are humping each other, and they are both
  girls
  <Symantec> I should video tape it and put it on Kazaa as "Hot
  Lesbian Sex"
  <LuKe> ROFL
  <LuKe> you sick sick fuck
  <Extorted-> shut up Luke, you know we'll all be looking for
  that clip in a few days.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783712
text:
  <eX|NYC> wtf my mom tells this lady to come over then she
  leaves 10 secs b4 she comes so im stuck here with this lady
  like uhh dude i dont know wtf she went leave me alone let me
  play my computer games >_<
  <PJ> its called a baby sitter.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783764
text:
  <Rick^y>shit, one time, i jerked off into kleenex, but i
  didn't have enough time to through it out cause the phone rang
  <Rick^y>so i forget about the kleenex, and couple hours later
  i end up wiping my mouth with it
  <illy>yumm...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783818
text:
  McPhile:  Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality
  show.
  McPhile:  I can just see him up there with Michael and
  Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching.
  "Whoa!  Did you see THAT?  I didn't even know I built them to
  do that."
  ecstaticsurfacer:  Hell yes.  I've been saying for years that
  my life is God's favourite soap opera.
  McPhile :  Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life
  for it to be His favorite.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.783870
text:
  <Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes,
  what would you do?
  <Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
  <Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784150
text:
  <poste> no, i know this chick with awesome big boobs...2
  actually
  <rox-work> 2 awesome big boobs?
  <rox-work> i should hope so
  <matthardy> like one boob on a chest, is like kinda funky and
  wrong
  <spazzer> nah, poste is confused
  <spazzer> the chick has one huge uniboob
  <matthardy> spazz: ahaha uniboob
  <spazzer> and a unibrow to match


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784202
text:
  <knightmare> _______ ___._._._
  <GTEK> ?
  <knightmare> /s_r__r 12_._._.1
  <GTEK> dam i kno this
  <knightmare> /ser_er 127._._.1
  * Quits: GTEK (Quit)
  * Quits: xfiles (Quit)
  * Quits: Evolution (Quit)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784246
text:
  <enaz> only thing worse then disenchanted, disenfranchised
  arrogant american teens is disenchanted, disenfranchised
  arrogant european teens with a mixer board


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784348
text:
  <DireBadger> Public Enemy in effect @ Nation, 9/19
  <DireBadger> one of the bands playing with them is
  "Blackalicious"
  <argent> Blackalicious is pretty good
  <DireBadger> argent: are they like a De la Soul type band?
  <argent> DireBadger: yes, in that they are black.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784398
text:
  <Millenia>  Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and
  Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
  <Mareg>  We were right?
  <Millenia>  You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge
  out my own eyes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784461
text:
  <Null> So I downloaded the O'Reilly bookshelf set on cd
  <Null> Then I couldn't mount the iso
  <Null> Out of curiosity I ran file on it and found out it was
  a Divx 3 file
  <Null> So apparently my O'Reilly bookshelf iso set is softcore
  porn
  <Null> I'd hate to be the guy who downloaded porn and got my
  bookshelf set
  <Calidore> Well, now he can improve himself while downloading
  porn.
  <Calidore> You, on the other hand, can look for the books
  one-handed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784506
text:
  Walbanger: i got the greatest pick-up line ever
  Walbanger: But i cant tell you because you're a girl
  nekofairy: ...
  nekofairy: Harvey, are you gay?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784596
text:
  <KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who
  married a blow up sex doll
  <KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he
  killed them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784642
text:
  <Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking
  incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent
  price increase."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784692
text:
  <Peanut> I reckon all cheaters caught on Steam should be given
  a second chance
  <ska> Dude when I flush a turd I dont want it coming back up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784835
text:
  NbVb16Mb009: i know have you ever had the weed that smells
  like christmas trees
  NbVb16Mb009: it is some good shit
  Me: hahahahhahah, you got dicked over. somebody sold you some
  pine tree branches and told you it was weed
  Me: do you smoke?
  NbVb16Mb009: no dude im a dealer shit it was weed and yea i
  smoke all the time
  NbVb16Mb009: have you ever made a beer bong
  Me: bull shit, you aren't a dealer
  Me: hahahahah, are you retarded?
  NbVb16Mb009: ok but if you ever want some just talk to me
  about it
  Me: just so you know, i don't believe you. what kind of weed
  do you sell?
  NbVb16Mb009: shrooms


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784891
text:
  <Ronwe> Why is it that every time I say something everybody
  runs to "bas"?
  <Ronwe> wtf is bash
  <viro|away> http://www.bash.org
  * Ronwe goes
  <Ronwe> oh fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.784944
text:
  <[FU]HiTechOutlaw> ;o :(
  <[FU]HiTechOutlaw> :O*
  <Nomad> I swear if I ever see you "correct" a smiley again,
  I'm going to kill you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785001
text:
  <@goose> does any one know a way of checking if some one is
  online without using msn or any over chat software
  <@goose> ?
  <+KawaiiUsagi> not unless you know their assigned ip addy
  <@goose> nope
  <@goose> BT change it every time you log on
  <@goose> can you ping the phone number ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785051
text:
  <Jean> I typed in the tracert mail.yahoo.com now what
  <Tabby_Tech> hit enter
  <Jean> there is no enter button
  <Tabby_Tech> on your keyboard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785146
text:
  <jdigittl> i just filled out an online mortgage application to
  test something. I just received a phone call from a mortgage
  broker: "Hi, I'd like to speak with, um, Mr Testy McTest..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785217
text:
  <sta_hi> lol
  <sta_hi> "anything can be a murder weapon, if you have enough
  time on your
  hands."
  <GrassMunk> soggy bread?
  <sta_hi> yup
  <sta_hi> ESPECIALLY soggy bread.
  <GrassMunk> one blade of grass
  <sta_hi> yes, that too
  <sta_hi> ... if you remove the top of one's head first.
  <sta_hi> or could somehow get it into his bloodstream.
  <sta_hi> flacid severed penis?
  <sta_hi> that too.
  <GrassMunk> sperm
  <sta_hi> thats destroyed more lives than any gun.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785261
text:
  <piman> RVD: Whereas the amount of people watching wrestling
  grows, oddly enough, at the same rate as the people who are
  3rd generation welfare recipients.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785401
text:
  < MaNcO > Sometimes late at night.....
  < MaNcO > I lay awake and watch munk sleeping
  < MaNcO > hes lost in peaceful dreams
  < MaNcO > so i turn off the light
  < MaNcO > lay there in the dark
  < MaNcO > then a thought crosses my mind
  < MaNcO > if I never wake
  < MaNcO > in the morning
  < MaNcO > would he ever doubt
  < MaNcO > the way I feel about him in my heart
  < MaNcO > if tomorrow never cums
  < MaNcO > will he know how much i looooooove him
  < MaNcO > and i try in every way
  < MaNcO > to show him every day
  < MaNcO > he's my only one
  < MaNcO > and if my time on earth was through
  < MaNcO > he must face this world without me
  < munk-@> wtf
  < MaNcO > would the love i gave him in the past
  < MaNcO > be enuogh to last
  < MaNcO > if tomorrow never comes
  < MaNcO > cos ive lost loved mons in my life
  < munk-@> get a grip of yourself u filthy faggot
  < munk-@> oh wait u already do "have a grip of yourself"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785452
text:
  <Guinivere> they have cable in Montana?
  <Ouroboros> Yeah, you use it for barb-wire fences.
  <Ouroboros> You know, cable.
  <Ouroboros> Or for pulling your truck out of the ditch or
  whatever.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785517
text:
  <Kormiic> Ever look at your own code and think, "What the fuck
  is this meant to do?!"
  <maznaz> most mornings
  <Kormiic> I said "code", not "cock"
  <Kormiic> ;)
  <maznaz> oh
  <maznaz> yeah, still most mornings :)
  <Kormiic> Right, if that doesn't get approved for Bash, I'll
  rub cum in my eyes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785561
text:
  <Number6> Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises
  * rsynnott hopes the people who made the Flintstones were
  unaware of this


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785617
text:
  <nein> what unix o.s. should i install on a 486 with 7megs
  ram?
  <nein> laptop
  <A-KO> Trashcan with kernel I.7.5u-ck.5
  <A-KO> :)
  <nein> is that a free download?
  <nein> heheh
  <nein> will it run aol?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785667
text:
  <·@PH·> im gonna skip psych today
  <·@PH·> so i can study for macro
  <·%Neppy·> macro?
  <·Namek·> polo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785731
text:
  <Lucien>  a small question.. will you rewrite you're history
  books now that you hate us and write that US should have been
  liberated even with OUT massive support from french military?
  and maybe benjamin franklin never got his idees from paris?
  maybe he didn't even visite the country...
  <Stormrider> Lucien, do you speak German?
  <Lucien> no, but swedish :P
  <Stormrider> You don't speak German, though?
  <Lucien> eh no
  <Stormrider> You're welcome.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785925
text:
  <noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
  <noddy> she's very nekkid now
  <noddy> and playing with a carrot
  <noddy> or a dildo
  <noddy> not sure
  <Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.785994
text:
  <ohyeah> i hate sex.
  <niggals> WHAT?!!! WHY?!!!!!!!!!!
  <ohyeah> because it isn't moral and christian
  <ohyeah> and its killing youth
  <ohyeah> and its the cause for many diseases
  <ohyeah> and so many people who are underage are having it
  <niggals> well then how the fuck come your sn is 'oh yeah'
  <ohyeah>  i can't talk to you!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786041
text:
  <IAmKingBrad> you know, having an opera singer rape you is
  much like eating a biscuit, except with eating a biscuit you
  do not have a cock in your ass unless you live at my uncle's
  house and am my cousin HAHA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786089
text:
  (+profiled) you don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact
  some times, it's not right to do!
  (@krampan) i always take it easy, soft, am a gentle guy, but
  in end before u cum in her, u hav to b lil hard...u c
  profiled?
  (+profiled) krampan; dude i'm singing a song


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786277
text:
  <Gersh> wow
  <Gersh> I rule
  <Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
  <Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786379
text:
  <MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking
  apes?
  <Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
  <Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats
  it called
  <Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
  <Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786435
text:
  <Big_Mike> Science teachers are either really good or complete
  nutcases.
  <DS> sometimes both.
  <CurvyEm> I'm actually topless now, i couldn't be arsed to
  wear a top anymore
  <DS> it is a fine line.
  <DS> Well, that was a nice random interjection into a
  completely random conversation.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786535
text:
  <evenpar123> "I believe" "But how do you know that you exist
  to believe?" "Becuase I believe I exist to believe"
  <evenpar123> and so on
  * evenpar123/#sydvoc is hungry, assuming evenpar123 exists


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786597
text:
  <Hittman> !op
  <Hittman> %op
  <Hittman> ^op
  <Hittman> wtf
  <Hittman> its broken
  <Hittman> someone fix it
  <Gaz> press alt + f4
  *Hittman has quit IRC (Quit: )
  <Fragbait> LOL
  <Gaz> haha.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786642
text:
  <BenSpinSpace> if you double major in graphic design and
  archaeology, could you specialize in jpeg artifacts?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786683
text:
  [@agg]: fs
  [@agg]: i was trying to turn on my stereo
  [@agg]: for about 5 mins
  [@agg]: with my tv remote


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786738
text:
  <Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
  <Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've
  been getting lately.
  <Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly
  appreciate. ;-)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786920
text:
  mellotron: wow, this is just begging for police investigation
  mellotron: alt.binaries.porn.children
  Indolentron: dont worry!  it's porn *for* children!
  Indolentron: the word of the day is "clitoris!" can you find
  the clitoris on this woman's vulva?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.786984
text:
  <Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
  <Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
  <Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
  <Hiroe> at some anime con in california
  <Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group
  in the same hotel
  <Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
  <Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
  <Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787037
text:
  MultiColoredWiz: Science class was hilarious yesterday.
  MultiColoredWiz: We were explaining parts of the body.
  MultiColoredWiz: So the teacher puts her hands on her ass and
  says "What's this called? I will not accept A-S-S or butt."
  MultiColoredWiz: I then raise my hand and say:
  MultiColoredWiz: "Will you accept 'HUGE'?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787098
text:
  <Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type
  card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two
  ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only
  buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can
  anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets
  recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I
  know my tax money goes to it.
  <Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo
  also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're
  starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot
  them?
  <qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail
  card do you get to take a raft ride
  <arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game,
  where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of
  pixels representing a buffalo
  <Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card,
  Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787146
text:
  <mander_> if east timor can be a nation..
  <mander_> is there really any reason my bathroom can't be?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787195
text:
  <TheGardener[Woo]> was buying new trainers... a kid walked by
  and said to his dad "wow he looks like beckham", the kids dad
  says "put your glasses back on" :|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787256
text:
  <Jenova4> i eat whatever's in the panty
  <NeroMan> I am lightweight
  <Jenova4> pantry*
  <MattW> what the
  <Karva> YES!
  <MattW> whoa
  <MattW> whoa


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787306
text:
  <MystrsPP2> Happiness is like a pineapple
  <MystrsPP2> it hurts you on the outside
  <MystrsPP2> and is yellow on the inside


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787357
text:
  <Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
  <Falcon24> ok
  <ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787413
text:
  <Mr_|r0n> Do ANYBODY have a program who hack Linux Root
  password
  <solarisx-> type /con/con and it will open a hacking window
  then you type /hack * and it will teach you about it
  <Mr_|r0n> con/con Unknown command
  <solarisx-> fuck, you dont have it
  <Mr_|r0n> were do i get it ?
  <solarisx-> www.penis.com
  *** Mr_|r0n has parted the channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787553
text:
  <teddyg> any1 here like fred dursts lyrics
  <teddyg> i can really connect w/ him when i read/listen to his
  lyrics
  <brakums> are you 12?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787599
text:
  <fholmes> My 8 month daughter was given her first taste of
  Gentoo today.
  <fholmes> Literally as she ate my boot cd.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787651
text:
  <Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
  <Blaz_> heather locklear
  <Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
  <WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls
  across a mile of broken glass to do her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787759
text:
  <Fishfood> hey when we are all grown up and have kids we
  should all meet up and pit our kids against each other in a 5
  day battle royale
  <Prick> "Kid Rancher"
  <Fishfood> my kid will kick all your kids asses
  <Prick> Mine will be pixies. They'll strip seductively and
  distract your kids.
  <Fishfood> all my kid needs is his wits and his amazingly
  large penis
  <Prick> I think you're assuming that the Big Ogre Penis Gene
  skips a generation.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787847
text:
  <Chapdizzle> i fucking hate when people think guys should
  shave their chest. Its what makes us men, suck a fat dick.
  shaving bodily hair is for women. my chest hair serves
  multiple uses such as floss, fishing line, warmth, crumb
  catcher, and if i wanted i could pull a shitload of it out and
  make a net to catch small animals or fish


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787895
text:
  <+NoNameAndrew> yeah right, you were rubbing the one eye'd
  snake to him like I am
  <+NoNameAndrew> her*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.787947
text:
  <lb-> They kept telling me I couldn't talk to a doctor.
  <lb-> I was like "Well, I drank a good amount of my own pee.
  I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A FUCKING DOCTOR."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788041
text:
  <drangdloon> I work on my knees 8-10 hours a day..
  <drangdloon> get your minds out of the gutter
  <drangdloon> i am a flooring contractor


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788092
text:
  Begging to Limp: heh
  Begging to Limp: so, apparently al gore's last speech on
  global warming flopped badly
  Begging to Limp: he gave a speech last winter in new york city
  on global warming
  Begging to Limp: the result? -1 degree fahrenheit average
  temperature for the day, the coldest day in new york's history
  Begging to Limp: when mother nature disagrees, she proves it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788139
text:
  MasochisticAngyl: what i wouldn't give for some flesh or
  pancres covered in blood right now
  XxJoeZeroxX: pancreas?
  MasochisticAngyl: thank you for the correction
  XxJoeZeroxX: wasnt intended as such, more as a question as to
  why this organ was singled out.
  MasochisticAngyl: the sweetest one
  XxJoeZeroxX: i somehow have the feeling being involved with
  you is going to get me in trouble one day.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788208
text:
  <McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the
  neighborshood
  <McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
  <McMoo> some aZn woman is there
  <McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a
  vacuum i could borrow?'
  <McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
  <McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788259
text:
  <@Fuse> !spin
  <+SugarFairy>  Fuse spinned the bottle.. and it lands on ..
  Sophos
  <+SugarFairy>  Now, go kiss  ^-^
  <+Sophos> who the hell plays spin the bottle in a room ful of
  boys


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788307
text:
  Quit» (ZoK) (ZoK@vw22962.iprimus.net.au) (Exit: I LIKE TO GO
  DOWN TO THE DOG POUND AND PRETEND I'VE FOUND MY DOG, THEN I
  TELL THEM TO KILL HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE I ALREADY THREW AWAY ALL
  HIS STUFF. DOG PEOPLE SURE DONT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788374
text:
  <weht> hahaha this morning i was listening to the radio on the
  bus, and they were like 'its time for the not-so-impossible
  question. what do the first 7 gifts in the 12 days of
  christmas have in common?'
  <weht> and this dude calls in and is like 'they are all birds'
  and they say 'yay you win you get this gay prize'
  <weht> and i called in and said 'um, how long have 5 golden
  rings been birds?' and they said 'oh shit, we screwed that up'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788426
text:
  <Bl1tz|> lol I think Tatu arose out of a secret expiriment to
  log the average American's web search
  <Bl1tz|> and they came up with 'young teenage Russian
  lesbians'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788487
text:
  <nuhduhnewbie> socks that don't add up are obv the work of
  terrorists
  <nuhduhnewbie> omg missing socks must be turned into turbans;o
  <PuffinFreshWog> and bombs
  <PuffinFreshWog> and the left over socks are broken down and
  then sold to a sock making factory
  <PuffinFreshWog> and then all the people whos socks when
  missing, go and buy more
  <PuffinFreshWog> and then the factory makes a lot of money
  <PuffinFreshWog> and it gives a lot of it to the terrorists
  for making the socks go missingin the first place
  <PuffinFreshWog> and that is how they get their funding
  <PuffinFreshWog> its all a delicate cycle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788532
text:
  <]KOARP[-Gawd-[Aa]> you know your in too many channels when a
  name change causes a   (..quit..) Cyp|TFC
  [Cypress070@host-150-206-220-24.midco.net] (Excess Flood)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788592
text:
  <Upth> did you know that the plastic used to make the keyboard
  keys warps when it gets wet and dries off?
  <ChryoZach> Nope.
  <Upth> my keys are beginning to wrinkle from sheer skin
  moisture.
  <ChryoZach> And now I've learned something today.
  <Upth> a bunch of the keys you can't even read anymore.
  <ChryoZach> I don't know whether to laugh or feel really bad.
  Wow.  This place really has made me numb.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788640
text:
  <K34R> im going to buy 6 monitors and a big metal rack and
  position them all around me
  <K34R> so it will be like im captain of the starship ianprise
  <K34R> on a mission to hack the gibson


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788690
text:
  FyreDefyre> i always take the side off my case so it doesnt
  overheat
  <diStriCt|sleep> really?
  <diStriCt|sleep> does that work?
  <FyreDefyre> yes
  <diStriCt|sleep> wouldnt the stuff fall outta it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788749
text:
  <himem> I love my cat's tight vagina
  <Cows[Pwnage]> :P
  <himem> Would you stick out your tongue in real life? No, you
  wouldn't. Then ":P" is pretty stupid.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788844
text:
  <Ninja_P> Okay, I just watched a guy puke in a glass, then
  drink it again
  <DragonAtma> Congratulations, you now know how congress
  operates.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.788903
text:
  * SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke
  <SBRLestat> a sprite for me scythe
  <SBR_Starfire> Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock
  <SBR_Starfire> oh my god
  <SBR_Starfire> I'm never going to live that one down am I?
  <SBR_Scythe> nope


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789048
text:
  <BS>I walk into school today and the girl that sits beside me
  tells me that she lost 10 pounds from laughing at me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789098
text:
  <Upth> transformers, as I understand it, was inspired by a guy
  in a traffic jam going "hmm... if my car transformed into a
  giant bipedal robot I wouldn't have to worry about this shit"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789147
text:
  <turkey> my friend saw r kelly's purple escalade with
  lamberghini doors, and spinners
  <HongKongPhooey> did he see the 3 11 year olds inside?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789207
text:
  <sacarna> okay. so i was in whitcoulls and i walked out and
  smacked into this guy and i was all ready to go grr and looked
  up and it was the guy i have the biggest crush on ever
  <sacarna> and my face went white
  <sacarna> and then i kinda managed to muster up a hey
  <sacarna> and then scuttled away
  <sacarna> hopefully he will think its all very cute and fuck
  my brains out.
  <autistk> it's hard to fuck people when they're running away
  <autistk> and you tend to go to jail for it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789309
text:
  <Swiich> remember how I went to the hospital on tuesday?
  <Swiich> I screwed up my liver from chugging an entire bottle
  of cough syrup to trip
  <_nosiop> without reading the label for other active
  ingredients or checking what they do online?
  <Swiich> um...
  <Swiich> yeah
  <_nosiop> 15 minutes of research could have saved you 15%
  liver function or more


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789358
text:
  <@LinuxGrrl> 'president bush, your popcorn burned. we have the
  fbi investigating the terrorist attack on your evening snack.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789404
text:
  <LivingScarecrow> you want to emulate a chatroom irl? go to a
  highschool chess club and pass out guns and meth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789454
text:
  <pr0tman> my gpa was in airforce. flew u2 n shit in cold war
  <sn1per> i don't like u2...none of their music is any good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789499
text:
  <Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a
  math tv show and we all start watching.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789548
text:
  <mydgear> wow, im listening to the best of dj premiere
  <mydgear> every beat sounds the same
  <diagram> kinda like how all blacks look the same


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789741
text:
  <Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> whats with all the netsplits?
  <Rodzilla> J0 MAMA
  <Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> o_O
  <Rodzilla> SHE'S SO FAT SHE SPLIT THE FREAKING INTERNET IN
  HALF
  <Rodzilla> AHAAHAHAHAHHAH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789800
text:
  <ROM_Man>  can anyone point me to a resource on how to deal
  with shadow passwords in perl?
  <ROM_Man>  anyone alive?
  <\mjd>  <rattle> Who dares to disturb my eternal rest?
  <\mjd>  <clank>    <clank>                     <clank>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789904
text:
  <MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
  * Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
  <@Acaila> FINISH HIM
  <mat|t> rofl
  <MortalKombat> omg wtf man
  * MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back,
  back, forward, punch)
  <@Acaila> FATALITY!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.789956
text:
  <Marasmus> So I was listening to a comedian who was talking
  about the Queen of England being attractive when she was
  young.
  <Shae> Erm.. okay...
  <Marasmus> And that some guys would talk about her, you know,
  the lewd way guys do about celebrities.
  <Marasmus> And some of the guys would go further than that...
  and I thought, it must be very strange...
  <Marasmus> masturbating to pocket change.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790003
text:
  <DeF`> hehe... The Man in the Iron Mask made me cry... for
  real
  <cuzzzin> debbie does dallas made me jack off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790073
text:
  * fo0bar has silverware now
  <jk> is that a new kind of heatsink?
  <jk> :D
  <fo0bar> no, it's a metal-based bio-nutritional transport
  system
  <jk> the thing... you use to... dig... food.
  <jwz> it's more of a food shim.
  <fo0bar> appearantly the technology has been around for
  awhile, but I haven't been able to afford the genuine metal
  equipment...  I've had to use the plastic replicas
  <fo0bar> though proper transport systems are appearantly a
  requirement when an xx chromosome pair is introduced into xy's
  atmosphere


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790128
text:
  <Lapsus> Okay, I get an error beep, anyone want to help me
  decipher it?
  <Lapsus> it's just regular, long beeps.
  <Lapsus> beeeeeeep. beeeeeeeep...
  <Fox> its gaydar. it must be picking up on a local source


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790181
text:
  * Jon|Working has joined #twistedmonkey
  * Jon|Working changes topic to 'Nerje, you really need to stop
  e-mailing me porn with cam pics and other such things. It's a
  nice surprise, but not so nice when your laptop is hooked up
  to a projector with people looking at it.'
  * Jon|Working has quit IRC (Quit: )


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790246
text:
  <Pigsbig78> my chat up line is "awk chmod grep"
  <Darkroot> Pigsbig78: mine is 'omg, you whore, someone chmod
  a+x your-vagina'
  <Darkroot> Pigsbig78: omg, you bitch! mv possessions outside;
  chown %n car; chmod 600 car; echo 'int main(void) { printf
  ("x25sn", "haha, you bitch!!n"); }' > meep.c; gcc meep.c -o
  meep; ./meep


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790299
text:
  <Ickarus> no one could disguise themselves as me, they'd never
  pull of my buckets of charisma
  <Cloud> Richie - you misspelt "Sarcasm"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790359
text:
  <evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
  <Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
  <evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games
  and reality
  <evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw
  a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
  <evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice
  graphics..."
  <evenpar123> It was horrible...
  <evenpar123> ugh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790409
text:
  <viro|work> i remember my birth
  <viro|work> it sucked :(
  <regener8ed> i remember your conception
  <regener8ed> it rocked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790464
text:
  <Panadol> have any of you guys tried double sided table as a
  mouse feet replacement?
  <VooDoo> that might not work
  <VooDoo> but feel free to try it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790556
text:
  <Lord-Data> chmod 777 is the kinda thing i do on my own
  personal box when i cant be fucked figureing out what the
  perm's SHOULD be
  <Lord-Data> which is, sadly, most of the time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790661
text:
  <BradJ*hnson> OMG, I lost my mouse!
  <Dilly4> Your cursor, or your entire mouse?
  <BradJ*hnson> Um, both.  Isn't the cursor attached to the
  bottom of the mouse?
  <Dilly4> What?  Do you run your mouse around on the screen?
  <BradJ*hnson> No, on the mouse pad...oh, I see.  The cursor is
  the arrow, right?
  <Dilly4> New to computers, eh?
  <BradJ*hnson> You wouldn't believe it, but I'm actually really
  good with computers
  Dilly4 doesn't believe it.
  <BradJ*hnson> How did you do that?  I got my mouse back!
  <Dilly4> it typed "/me doesn't believe it"
  <BradJ*hnson> "/me wants to make money with computers"
  Dilly4 suggests that the best way for you to make money is to
  sell yours.
  <BradJ*hnson> Fucker.
  GanGreen thinks he'll submit this lameness to Bash.
  Dilly4 nods in agreement.
  <BradJ*hnson> "/me wonders if this is working right on your
  end.  What is Bash?"
  <Dilly4> GanG, make sure you blank out his name so his family
  (and future customers) don't see what a lamer he is.
  <GanGreen> NP.  How about if I make it "BradJ*hnson"?
  Dilly4 laughs his head off.
  <BradJ*hnson> "/me goes "Just so long as no one recognizes
  it...I DO sounds kinda stupid.  I'm smrat tho"
  Dilly4 can't control his fits of laughter
  <BradJ*hnson> smart.  you all suck hard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790811
text:
  <{EDF}SS> and you can send files to people at 160kB/s?
  <{EDF}SS> or kb/s?
  <DRoawn> no they can download from me
  <DRoawn> that fat
  <DRoawn> fast
  <{EDF}SS> so.....there's a difference between you sending
  files to people and them downloading from you?
  <DRoawn> yesd
  <DRoawn> yes*
  <{EDF}SS> ....I.....see......


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790865
text:
  <over> k though... my best line ive said in an interview...
  they asked "what do u do if you explain something to somebody
  and they dont understand... what can u do to make them
  understand?"
  <over> "say the exact same thing but louder"
  <Unfy> hehe
  <over> and the funny thing is that the interview i said that
  at was the one i got my internship at


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.790963
text:
  <Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat
  with your friends online!
  <Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I
  wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social
  misfits


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791013
text:
  -MemoServ- DALnet would like to recommend that you exercise
  some standard password security precautions and regularly
  change your password(s). Please remember that it is your
  responsibility to remember your password(s).
  <Huz> Hey, is that news post DALnet code for "We got hax0red
  and someone saw everyone's passwords"? :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791056
text:
  wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
  enkorat: as in physics?
  enkorat: or sex stuff?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791162
text:
  <Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come
  with fries?
  <kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
  <Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
  * GeekRyuu (Ryuu@12.5.124.207) has joined #subcafe
  <GeekRyuu> Hi!
  <GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
  <Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791211
text:
  <Entwife>  I sometimes think we have one collective mind here
  that we just pass around occasionally
  <Entwife>  when we aren't using it as a coaster or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791261
text:
  <cannibal> oooh, the Bali bombers used SMS enabled phones to
  give orders...
  <cannibal> only terrorists use SMS.
  <brainbox> and most of europe
  <cannibal> is there a difference?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791309
text:
  <coma> wank carefully and do not destroy your penis :)
  <xetlain> wise words.
  <coma> for men with divine penises like us, yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791366
text:
  <jerk> napster's death kinda ruined it for me.  I don't trust
  any of the programs out there now...too much spyware
  <bloke> ahhh
  <jerk> backdoors bigger than a transvestite's
  <bloke> theres an expression that u just don't hear enough


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791435
text:
  <zeedo> heh I got a delivery today and started to sign my name
  "zeedo"
  <zeedo> lmao
  * Subliminal is playing Metallica - Jump In The Fire
  <Subliminal> rofl
  <Subliminal> your loosing your true identity
  <Subliminal> and become a sequence of 0's and 1's
  <zeedo> the dude just gave me a weird look when I said "can
  you wipe that off its the wrong name"
  <zeedo> he cleared the screen thinking I was a weirdo
  <zeedo> I am but thats besides the point
  <Subliminal> lmao
  <Subliminal> you should spell itin binary or smt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791480
text:
  (@Big_Daddy) that reminds me, Beer i've lost 30 lbs :D
  (@nwar) thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791617
text:
  <cranefist> i love it when cool bands cover madonna
  <zed> So that way you don't have to admit that you like
  Madonna?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791672
text:
  <robbie-a> for shure
  <orion> sure*
  <orion> ;[
  <robbie-a> really?
  <robbie-a> sure?
  <robbie-a> fuck thats whack


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791745
text:
  <david> i carry a 12 inch dildo, condom, thumb tack, 10
  grapes, and a time magazine from 1992
  <david> things do get wild
  <HorseZilla> rookie
  <mike> lol
  <HorseZilla> you need a battery
  <HorseZilla> candle wax
  <HorseZilla> chains and a cinder block
  <HorseZilla> oh and that speed glide lube that brad used to
  sell
  <david> calm down macgyver
  <david> im getting freaky, not escaping a haitian prison
  <HorseZilla> you two are in vegas
  <HorseZilla> and youre still fucking around here
  <HorseZilla> what the fuck is wrong with you two?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791813
text:
  <Volt9000> 8===D     O:
  <Volt9000> 8===D   O:
  <Volt9000> 8===D O:
  <Volt9000> 8===DO:
  <Volt9000> 8==):
  <Volt9000> 8=):
  <Volt9000> 8==):
  <Volt9000> 8=):
  <Volt9000> 8==):
  <Volt9000> 8=):
  <Volt9000> 8==DO:
  <Volt9000> 8==D~O:
  <Volt9000> 8==D~~O:


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791860
text:
  anon: You're so gullible.
  sleaz: You mean gullable.
  anon: What?
  sleaz: It's spelled gullable.
  anon: Oh. Okay.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791915
text:
  <Dejos> I was killed by a rabit in D&D once
  <Wiser> lol
  <Dejos> stupid DM
  <recursive> did it have big sharp pointy teeth?
  <recursive> \/\/\/\/\/
  <Dejos> no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell
  off a cliff


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.791971
text:
  <-yper-orse> mamma mia
  <-yper-orse> my my
  <-yper-orse> i cannot resist u
  <-yper-orse> mamma mia
  <Squeeks> "With Dragon Voice, you too can flood IRC Channels
  as you sing to ABBA"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792024
text:
  <TribGuru> How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a
  light bulb?
  <TribGuru> You don't know, man.  You don't KNOW.
  <TribGuru> cause you weren't THERE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792085
text:
  <Pongball> Religion is like a penis.
  <Pongball> It's fine to have one.
  <Pongball> It's fine to be proud of it.
  <Pongball> But please don't whip it out in public and start
  waving it around.
  <Pongball> And PLEASE don't try to shove it down children's
  throats.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792134
text:
  disinfo46and2 wants to send file C:Program FilesEvan's
  StuffStuffMR. BUNGLE  -  Squeeze Me Macaroni.mp3.
  disinfo46and2: I wish this shit would bing or something when
  it's complete
  Twinblade590: Lol
  disinfo46and2: Seriousy, fucking AIM is less sophisticated
  than my microwave
  disinfo46and2: Hell, my microwave plays a song when it's done


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792180
text:
  <helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where
  someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792235
text:
  KoG_Work> God damn it... "the westbound backup to the toll
  plaza is horrible! west 80 is slow from central, 580 jams up
  from lakeshore, and north 880 is slow from the grand avenue
  curve. the metering lights are on, and traffic on the upper
  deck is slow from the incline into san francisco" ~_~
  * KoG_Work ponders taking the 92...
  <KoG_Work> if it's backed up to lakeshore, can't even make a
  detour to Ikea like I normally do!
  <St0rmD> you go to the furniture store so much you have
  detours and shortcuts to get there?
  <DishHole> maybe ikea has a drive-through


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792282
text:
  <coppo> what are methods of assuming someone's identity? Just
  curi...no, actually I plan to rip people off.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792339
text:
  <OmkAR> weeeeeee
  <OmkAR`> they should have a tv show, where ppl go from cable
  back to dialup for like a month
  <OmkAR`> and they film it
  <OmkAR`> like survival
  <Spiffeh> rofl
  <@q-ReZ> lol
  <@d-_-b> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792392
text:
  <styx> fera is an old lady?
  <+Saiko> yes styx
  <styx> you prune
  <@PikaChan> i think "prude" would be more accurate :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792446
text:
  <[-OsL-][Chibi]> hey eyesore
  <[-OsL-][Chibi]> ur fav nigga is here :)
  <eyesore> no he's not, he's out in the field. all i see is
  you, you dirty tar baby


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792491
text:
  <Beerman> My dick is so big its population had a revolution.
  its now known as the democratic republic of my dick.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792589
text:
  <s0ul> all i know is, i know where the chloroform is in the
  lab now..... i'll have a date one way or the other for
  Valentine's Day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792639
text:
  <poo_al> A friend of mine once went to a public toilet for a
  dump and found to his horror that the last person in there had
  wiped their arse with the toilet paper while still leaving it
  attached to the roll and then wound it back up out of sight.
  So as well as getting it on his hand, my friend accidentally
  wiped his arse with someone else's shit GROSS!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792726
text:
  <manero> MANLY THINGS:
  <manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
  <manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
  <manero> 3) BEER BRATS
  <rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
  <rebrane-> 4) FARTING
  <manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
  <rebrane-> 6) CARS
  <rebrane-> 7) FIRE
  <manero> 8) BOWLING
  <rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
  <ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
  <rebrane-> 11) GUNS
  <rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
  <skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
  <Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
  <rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792821
text:
  <@Theme-4-a-Jakal> we oughta tie allison down and get her
  addicted to heroin so she'll become a prostitute


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792879
text:
  *** Master_Hacker (Tabby@vw-26266.mpx.com.au) has joined
  channel #2600
  <Master_Hacker> hi all
  <buo> HI MASTER HACKER
  <Master_Hacker> hi
  <buo> DO YOU HAVE GIBSON TEKNIQ ?
  <Master_Hacker> no
  <Master_Hacker> hang on
  <Master_Hacker> ...
  <Master_Hacker> ill check


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792921
text:
  (zerox): i thought i was going to XXX the movies website when
  i went to www.XXXMOVIE.com but i was pleasently mistaken


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.792968
text:
  <bb> Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it
  to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on
  a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793065
text:
  <Uncle_Tobias> I hate people who AIM me when I'm masturbating.
  <Kevyn> I hate people who AIM at me while masturbating.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793115
text:
  * StorDuff has joined #suicide
  <StorDuff> YOU ARE ALL USELESS
  <ManInMoon> tell me something I didn't know already


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793171
text:
  <tgr> i told my girlfriend that she's "math girl, doer of
  math: unable to integrate with society, only with functions of
  x"
  <tgr> and guys, this is why she's my girlfriend. she said:
  <tgr> "i could do a u substitution..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793230
text:
  <LkTrout1> I'm getting a GBA from ZD next month.
  <LkTrout1> with an unintentional $5 discount on Castlevania
  GBA
  <LkTrout1> I ordered it before they realized the price goof on
  Castlevania.
  <SYch0> wow!
  <SYch0> five WHOLE dollarS?!
  <wild_> thats 2 months salary in korea


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793291
text:
  <blazemore> i'm totally kewl, dude.
  <LkTrout1> hypr is jealous of blazemore's Dell nametag.
  <hypr> im jealous of lks lack of penile gland
  <LkTrout1> My bulbourethral glands work just fine.
  <LkTrout1> nerd
  <hypr> ahahah
  <gb> LakeTrout the wannabe doctor


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793421
text:
  <Cheese> I'm going to Visit Canada one day anyway :/
  <microburn> Cheese, we'll go drinking.
  <Cheese> microburn, not until I'm like 23/24 ;s
  <Cheese> What would be funny is
  <Cheese> if we all still talk
  <microburn> Cheese, : That would be sad if stayed on IRC for 8
  more years talking to you all.
  <Cheese> :s
  * microburn commits suicide.
  <Cheese> 8?
  <microburn> I have 8.
  <microburn> I'm 16.
  <Cheese> microburn, I can't see a day when we still don't come
  on IRC
  <Cheese> we might have graphics then
  <microburn> Graphics?
  <muert0> yeah me dancin naked in a box to your left
  * microburn quits IRC, now.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793502
text:
  <@Infinik> Do you think the Matrix ever gets netsplits?
  <warpunk> Sure.
  <@Infinik> Quits: Trinity (smith.matrix.com
  jackson.matrix.com)
  <@Infinik> Quits: Morpheus (Quit: Observe the powers of the
  red pill, bitch)
  <@Infinik> Smith has been kicked by Neo (Cloner)
  (-M-a-t-r-i-x-)
  <warpunk> Heh.
  <Swanky-Tuna> Why would you take a pill from a bald black man
  in the middle of nowhere?
  <warpunk> Cuz I paid for 'em!
  <Swanky-Tuna> there was a flash about that
  <Swanky-Tuna> everybody started smiling as he was passing out
  <warpunk> All your matrix are belong to us.
  <Swanky-Tuna> and trinity was just a crossdresser
  <@Infinik> Haha
  <Infinik> "The Trinity?" "The Trinity who hacked the IRS
  d-base?" "That was a long time ago." "I thought you were a
  guy." "That was a long time ago too."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793552
text:
  <drunker> i own 3 vacuums pirates
  <drunker> one that cleans the rugs, the other 2 is wife n kid
  <[Piratez]> dang watcha been sucking
  <drunker> my wallet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793592
text:
  <@NMO> My mother is pissed off because I said our family is
  more like a dictatorship than anything else in one of my test
  answers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793686
text:
  <Ryutaro> I liked it when things were simple
  <Ryutaro> gravity wasnt known
  <Ryutaro> things stuck to the earth because they loved it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793764
text:
  <tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever
  had
  <lasombra> tumult ?
  <tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something
  from a vending machine
  <tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
  <tumult> he says bullshit
  <tumult> i tell him to fuck off
  <tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
  <tumult> sits back down
  <tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
  <tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
  <tumult> from my lip
  <tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
  <tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your
  bra?"
  <zyko^> what did she do?
  <tumult> punched me in the face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793822
text:
  <SteveTheNormalGuy> link plzzzzzzzzz
  <SteveTheNormalGuy> wait, another z should do it
  <MegamanX2K> x
  <MegamanX2K> err
  <MegamanX2K> damnit
  * MegamanX2K cannot spell "z"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.793876
text:
  <Unspawny> The ultimate game would be a game sorta like The
  Sims.
  <Unspawny> Except it would be called 'Angst'.
  <Unspawny> And you would see how many angsty people you can
  befriend, screw over, and then befriend again.
  <frog> you just described Livejournal: The Game


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794020
text:
  <Gaq> There is a fly on my screen. The first one of the year.
  <Gaq> I'm furiously trying to swat it with my mouse pointer,
  but to no avail.
  <Jedi> try clicking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794084
text:
  <snowchyld> This weekend I downloaded 1984 (movie) via a
  torrent
  <snowchyld> this morning I got a mail in the post, 'Dear Sir,
  noticed you were downloading the torret (url)'
  <snowchyld> ........
  <snowchyld> I'm so going to a 'reeducation center' after this
  ;;
  <ivan`> the DMCA letter-senders have already won


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794128
text:
  <etrigan> im gonna take that fricking printer and stick it up
  your asshole, and then print out gay pron on it. fricking
  h0m0.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794174
text:
  <nit`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this
  dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
  <NGN-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in
  real life your a no-pussy gettin prick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794219
text:
  Eudox says: my god...
  Eudox says: I'm really not used to sending letters
  Eudox says: it just took my 10 minutes to work out I had to
  lick the thingy to make it stick  :|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794270
text:
  < tcowher> personally I'm annoyed that they can get 11KBps
  from mars but can't get me a stable 5KBps over 17 miles.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794327
text:
  <dive> hey
  <dive> i got something we can debate
  <dive> which is worse, MS as in multiple sclerosis or MS as in
  microsoft
  <dive> i honestly am not sure.
  <zan> heh
  <zan> microsoft is
  <dive> yeah
  <zan> because with multiple sclerosis you can use unix still


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794383
text:
  <Indole> never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm actually
  missing pubes a bit.
  <Phucker> It happens to the best of us.
  <Phucker> ":("
  <steelcap> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794432
text:
  <Zimbraizo> its ok to be fat
  <Zimbraizo> but you should be fat between 3am and 6am when i
  am sleeping


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794485
text:
  <Kahran> I need to start passing judgement with an ironfist
  <HellmasteR> yes
  <Preachidus> it works for me.
  <HellmasteR> be all like YOU THERE, OBEY THE FIST
  <HellmasteR> and if they dont, fist them good
  <HellmasteR> wow, that came out badly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794538
text:
  <TheFlibble>Windows XP doesn't like admitting it's made a
  mistake
  <TheFlibble>It doesn't give error messages it just tries to
  carry on regardless
  <TheFlibble>Its like an embarrassed old man sitting in a pool
  of his own piss.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794595
text:
  <zerox-> who has paypal
  <KermyAWAY> thousands upon thousands of people
  <zerox-> ok who has paypal that would be willing to do me a
  favor
  <KermyAWAY> no one
  <zerox-> ok let me rephrase it 1 more time
  * SNguyen sets mode: +o zerox-
  <@zerox-> who wants to do me a favor or else be banned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794691
text:
  <Draven> w0ot. 150 MB porn movie done!
  <kaMIKazE> nice
  <+RedvaldezAWAY> not bad Cow
  <@murder1> wd d/l a 150 mb movie when all you're gonna last is
  at 500kb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794740
text:
  <Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
  <Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794802
text:
  <CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
  <CrackZ> its a power hungry female
  <CrackZ> ya know the type
  <CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't
  be arsed' profile


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794848
text:
  <nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then
  just forget about it and watch the $ go in
  <Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794908
text:
  <Kaz> Let's tell scary stories!
  <The_Karma_Police> Ok, I'll start.
  <The_Karma_Police> There was this guy, and he was in the
  kitchen...OF DOOM!
  <The_Karma_Police> And in that kitchen, he baked...THE PIE OF
  LOST SOULS!
  <The_Karma_Police> And to cool that pie, he put it in...THE
  WINDOW TO HELL!
  <Kaz> Ok, let's promise ourselves to never tell scary stories
  again...ever


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.794954
text:
  <EuroBrew> what is it with you people and your fascination
  with buttsex? you guys talk about it all the time, if you are
  gay just come out and say it already
  <EuroBrew> i just think you guys have some sexual identity
  issues if you go around saying shit like /me unfs chips and /
  me wants zee buttsex, and of course the ever popular /me licks
  teh cum off your wang


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795004
text:
  <fate-> right, people here aren't running a charity
  <fate-> it's one big mental maturbation session


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795056
text:
  <watashi^_> There are 177wks 3days 3mins 44secs until
  Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson are legal! I can't wait! d:D->=<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907872
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795119
text:
  <PropWash> I really was hoping I could be 'special enough' for
  an exception..but alas..im full of myself ;>
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I'm full of many things.
  <Karnophage> Like a Pinata
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Very close, actually.
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Except I'm not surrounded by little
  kids with bludgeons, hoping to consume my innards.
  <PropWash> quick, gimmie a stick
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> GET AWAY FROM MY ENTRAILS!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795252
text:
  <Logic_BomB> could you create an infinite loop with a jew if
  you put a quarter on one side of the room and a quarter on the
  other side of the room and told him he could only choose 1?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795298
text:
  <Nall> I'm so confused everytime I come in here. Either stop
  changing your names, or like, start cybering with me, so I
  fucking remember you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795343
text:
  (+kevin) GOD DAMNIT. WHY DO I HAVE A HABIT OF TOUCHING MY
  PENIS WHILE I'M SITTING IN A COMPUTER CHAIR?!?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795390
text:
  nordic24sweet: Statistically speaking, the job of pizza
  delivery driver is a more dangerous job than that of fire
  fighting.
  wastedVegas: that makes sense. A friend of mine who was a
  pizza dilivery guy was once offered a blow job by a guy he
  delivered a pizza to. That shit doesn't happen to Firefighters


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795435
text:
  <GeneticFreak> The office is like a tree full of monkeys
  trying to climb up. The monkeys on the top look down and see a
  tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up
  and see nothing but assholes...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795585
text:
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Ah man
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> can u believe rthat/
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> i was walking out of the bathroom
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> like really fast
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> and my belt loop got caught on the
  door
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> I swung around and smacked into the
  wall
  <[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Damn that hurt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795634
text:
  <bizzy> great, i get TWO doomed projects
  <bizzy> "hey, we canned the guy doing this stuff too. Can you
  start work
  on re-inventing the wheel asap?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795680
text:
  hbkshowstopper75: For only 15 grand, we could have our own
  music veriety show. it could be revolutionary televison even
  it its on at 2am
  hbkshowstopper75: i was just pondering the idea today
  ianepson: need 15k first
  ianepson: and if we saved that much up i can think of much
  better uses
  hbkshowstopper75: it\'s only one thousand 500 dollars
  ianepson: uh
  ianepson: yea u could buy urself a calculator with whats left
  over


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795761
text:
  <@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought
  some peanut butter
  <@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less
  fat than peanut butter"
  <@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the
  product type
  <@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it
  cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as
  shitty as peanut butter
  <@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in
  the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
  <@X-G> like, a koan?
  <@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this
  is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter
  then is it really peanut butter?
  <@elver> a koan?
  <@X-G> yah, koan.
  <@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used
  in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining
  spiritual awakening.
  <@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
  <@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795813
text:
  <Khross|Zzz> You can't have my precious cock ring.
  <nilBnW|Zzz> You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead cock!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795872
text:
  <antimatter> i like my penis
  <antimatter> it's so cute
  <antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
  <antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
  <antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
  <antimatter> my penis is bilingual


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795919
text:
  <|Rain|> whoa neat
  <|Rain|> the windows 2000 background has a silhouette of a man
  jumping off a building from frustration


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.795962
text:
  [@JigsWithoutWoodstock] Phil: Could you repeat that, I was
  distracted by a pig flying past my window


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796006
text:
  <soul|FL> say hypothetically yesterday i bought a life size
  buffy blow up doll and had sex with it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796052
text:
  < froggie> how frequently do chest infections kill asthmatics?
  < punchcard> no more than once i would guess


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796148
text:
  <arabella> when i was about 20, old enough not to be, i got
  sent away from the table to my room for saying, "So today in
  lab we put dog testes in the blender and then," and that's as
  far as i got.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796200
text:
  <+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
  <+AnimeFreak> err
  <+AnimeFreak> frag
  <@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796255
text:
  <deimos> too bad I didn't beat up quatoria
  <deimos> I'm his puppet apparently
  <deimos> since he has his hand up my ass all the time
  <deimos> plz to be removing that btw


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796297
text:
  phractured: why did the emo prostitute make a good carpenter?
  phractured: because she knew how to cut and screw!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796403
text:
  <BChikapa> Holy shit. Calisa, are you watching this thing on
  Fox
  <Calisa> no.
  <BChikapa> This guy was in a boat, and a swordfish JUMPED OUT
  OF THE WATER AND STABBED HIM IN THE FACE.
  <Calisa> [SA]HatfulOfHollow finally got them.
  <BChikapa> I don't know if it's sadder that you made that
  joke, or that I got it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796445
text:
  «Wizardx8»: Damn those transparent eyelids...
  «Cav»: i should mod my eyes
  «Cav»: and put a one way valve on my arse
  «Wizardx8»: Cav, your arse is 2 way at the moment? Confirms it
  really :P
  «Cav»: god damnit :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796496
text:
  <rewben> wh00t, i made online fax server yo
  <rewben> it even w0rkz
  <m0f73> @)!!!!!
  <m0f73> theres no h in w00t


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796537
text:
  dee: mute do you ever talk
  mute: No, I never say a word.
  dee: why
  mute: I think you missed the joke there, dee.
  dee: what do you mean
  mute: ...nevermind.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796583
text:
  <CiXeL> america where a poor black boy can grow up to become a
  rich white woman
  <CiXeL> michael jackson


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796629
text:
  QB: My brother went to see the Globetrotters last night...
  QB: <spoilers>Globetrotters won!</spoilers>
  Come: ARG
  Come: I HAD THAT ON TAPE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796738
text:
  <asiftosay> my friend kolby decided to play a joke on his mom,
  so he went into her room at night when she was sleeping. he
  wore a ski mask and had a fake gun.
  <banquet> omg
  <asiftosay> and he starts yelling shit with the fake gun
  drawn, and she wakes up all scared and stuff...so she goes
  "don't kill me. i'll fuck you all you want if you let me
  live."
  <asiftosay> they avoided each other for days.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796785
text:
  <[Max]Kaz> does any1 know if I can extract a bit of a movie
  without all the files?
  <[Max]Kaz> Its p0rn so I dont need all of it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796836
text:
  <+Scott> I had my dreams crushed yesterday. It turns out the
  newspaper headline "Village still looking for paedophile"
  wasn't a vacancy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796887
text:
  <Booger> http, nntp, ftp. these are all non-cohesive with
  end-to-end viewing of good titty pics
  <Booger> the new standard:
  <u238|duhasst> hehe
  <Booger> NTTP: Nice Titty Transfer Protocol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796943
text:
  <InvaderZim> embrase man love
  <Marticus> i dont love teh cock, sorry, zim
  <InvaderZim> no no no
  <InvaderZim> man love isn't cock love
  <SectorX4> Only someone who loves the cock would know that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.796993
text:
  <pcline> ugh, i'm 2nd guessing all of my own decisions today :
  <maff> haha paul i do that all the time
  <maff> ...or do I...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797095
text:
  <Joelz> How good is it, when you've badly gotta take a
  leak....but you can't be stuffed getting up, but there is an
  empty coke bottle next to you and....nevermind.
  <Bigchris> what happens if you have to chuck a shit?
  <Joelz> That's what shoes are for.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797182
text:
  (TarAldarion) just a bit shocked that my roommate is pregnant
  (Ruu) was it a shock to her also?
  (TarAldarion) dunno yet
  (TarAldarion) havnt talked to her
  (TarAldarion) read her blog


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797228
text:
  <async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your
  performance in bed
  <Violus> woah, sweet
  * Violus installs ICQ


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797320
text:
  (pervert) roy: get off your "would be heterosexual if i had
  enough options to have a preference" ass and go get some :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797410
text:
  <Rafeil> wimberly!
  <Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her
  name would be kimberly wimberly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797452
text:
  (iTM): are you racist?
  (killjesus): gosh
  (killjesus): here we go again
  (killjesus): jumping to conclusions
  (killjesus): will it make you feel better if i tell you my
  name is Adolf
  (killjesus): and that i think black people are lesser human
  beings?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797504
text:
  <Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
  <Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
  <Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797596
text:
  <{R3D}Hurricane> you know your a geek when the highlight of
  your vacation consisted of spying on people in the Oracle HQ
  Building with binoculars from your hotel room


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797644
text:
  * BriteNite evens out gwen's ass
  <Gwenllian> thank you, dear
  <Genin> BriteNite: with donor tissue?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797697
text:
  <SupaSupa> I got an Eclipse and it is missing the 3 bottom
  gears, wtf is wrong with it
  <Monte`SS`> bahahahahaha
  <Monte`SS`> "missing"
  <Monte`SS`> whered they go?
  <SupaSupa> They are hiding


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797749
text:
  <spazzer> ahh fuck
  <spazzer> i did it again
  <spazzer> spilled tap ramen juice in my lap twice
  <Cured> see and I thought you were just singing along to
  Britney Spears


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797858
text:
  <s|urpee> like seriously... "Book Appreciation Month"?????
  <s|urpee> Who the fuck thought that one up?
  <Argent-> s|urpee - someone who gets hawt talking dewey
  decimals
  <s|urpee> 017.223 JER
  * s|urpee shivers happily
  <daedalus`> i want to see official geek month... a month where
  geeks are
  no percicuted and bullies get hit up for lunch money.... ...
  that wouls
  rock
  <daedalus`> hahaha
  <Argent-> I want 'throw a fat old guy a mercy fuck' month.
  * Argent- coughs.
  <Argent-> Oh, come on- that was funny ,)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.797908
text:
  Wintyr: I totally emasculated my father.
  Wintyr: I took my little brother and put him in my old ballet
  recital dress, put lipstick and a bow on him, and then paraded
  him around the house in it...
  Wintyr: In front of the dinner guests...who started, like,
  whistling at him and shit...
  Wintyr: All the while he's like, "Look look! Cole pretty! Cole
  pretty!" and all happy about the dress.
  Krylo: Hahahahahah
  Wintyr: My dad is just standing there with this horribly lost
  look on his face, saying, "I...I do have a boy...right...?"
  Wintyr: It kicked so much ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907890
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.798056
text:
  <piglet3> [info] #gaysm      5       Don't f*&% with the topic
  PIG
  <piglet3> They are into homosexual sadomasochism, but they
  can't bring themselves to spell out `fuck'.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907890
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.798105
text:
  <Thel> "You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since
  the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor
  system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank
  you for your cooperation."
  * SephirothTheOneWingedAngel (~uole@130.39.47.11) Quit
  (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
  * SporkBad (~LanceBad@148.246.78.170) Quit
  (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
  * Sir_Spankspeople (PsychoSam_@216.58.5.5 Quit
  (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
  * Ace|werk (~Cartoonis@206.169.51.19) Quit
  (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.798152
text:
  <Coogaar>  You really can t mince around with these TiVos,
  Todd. If you wanted to turn on a machine and have it tell you
  you were gay all the time, you would just play Counter-Strike
  online.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.907891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:05.798194
text:
  lemonlimeskull: Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney to take on Barack
  Obama.
  lemonlimeskull: We have to stop letting George Lucas name our
  Politicians.


