# quote

date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.640893
text:
  <Chi>: So we went to the pool hall last Wednesday...
  <Chi>: I ended up paying for everyone when we finished.
  <Chi>: Everyone asked how much it cost afterwards.
  <Chi>: I told them that I used my Asian powers to get no
  charge.
  <Chi>: Then on our way down the stairs...
  <Chi>: I jumped onto the carpet in front of the door and
  exclaimed...
  <Chi>: "Okay Abz, time to use your Arabian powers to fly us
  home!"
  <Chinh>: did it work?
  <Chi>: No, the carpet was black.
  <Chinh>: zing!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.640942
text:
  <wahitu> Ok, then. Great time here. Cu all!
  <Josher> later
  <wahitu> hmm. one last question. How do I log off?
  <Josher> X top right
  <wahitu> thanks. Bye


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.640968
text:
  * DocHopper is now known as DocRestarting
  <DocRestarting> brb
  * DocRestarting has quit IRC (Quit: )
  <Sean> that was so pointless


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.640994
text:
  <AddictArt> "My dad can kill you with his little finger" <-
  put that into modern age talk and you get....
  <AddictArt> <Mako> you wanna get pingered by a dual 1.7
  megabyte modem? and a OC3 line if I call my friend?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641023
text:
  <Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx
  guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he
  can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she
  know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet
  super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal
  adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's
  cube using only the muscles of his colon?
  <StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with
  the camera.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641104
text:
  <oneiros> Damn it.
  <oneiros> I do not understand this.
  <Kyle> Uh oh.
  <jwbozzy> ...
  <Kyle> Oneiros is reading "The Roly Poly Puppy" again.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641131
text:
  <Dave> Question: Is it "right" to stop registered sex
  offenders from registering on social networking sites?
  <highvoltage> Dave: where do you register to become a sex
  offender?
  * Vhata falls off his chair laughing
  <Dave> highvoltage: at your local school...
  <MrKen> Dave: No, that's where they hold the auditions


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641202
text:
  <Szyslak> HAHAHAHA those wacky spanish: "Our download server
  can only support 300 simultaneous discharges"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641238
text:
  <Xney> how goes the job search?
  <Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
  <Xney> oh you haven't started?
  <Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
  <Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
  <fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business
  between posting
  the ad and my email to them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641284
text:
  <Viper550esp> heh hell, you have no idea what hell is! Try
  standing inbetween two large fat women at a manson concert who
  decided just to wear the bare minimum to get it in concert.
  Oh thats nothing, they decided that it would be fun to start a
  mash pit. I kid you not those two women took out 7 people with
  one massive shove


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641312
text:
  <Aku_Soku_Zan> you are hungry
  <Aku_Soku_Zan> 2 large pizzas?
  <mate> yeh
  <Aku_Soku_Zan> hmmm you need that gym program more then i do
  <Aku_Soku_Zan> :D
  <mate> now u know why i want this gym program
  <mate> lolll


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641359
text:
  Mmc1512: YOI KID
  Mmc1512: ALL THE LAMPSHADES ARE ON YOUR SUBMARINE
  Mmc1512: catch my drift?
  NcKmN 1988: wtf lol
  Mmc1512: your alarm clocks are made out of cheese
  NcKmN 1988: uhhh..
  Mmc1512: your car is a boat on the fifth of the week
  Mmc1512: get it?
  NcKmN 1988: hmmm...
  NcKmN 1988: no
  Mmc1512: you look like a goriila escaped from alaska
  Mmc1512: you need 2 pencils to write but only one hand to see
  Mmc1512: understand?
  NcKmN 1988: u sniff glue again?
  Mmc1512: no son
  Mmc1512: back off my shoe box


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641395
text:
  <freak> so whats the present? is it something with sailing?!
  <freak> =)
  <mango> no.....
  <mango> it has to do with my mouth though
  <freak> oh
  <freak> whoa
  <freak> like kissing?
  <mango> ha ha
  <mango> no
  <mango> try me giving u head
  <freak> AHHHHHHHH
  <freak> YAAAAAAAAAAAY
  <freak> really?
  <mango> :-P
  <freak> hahah
  <mango> hell yea
  <freak> better take out your microscope, cause remember im
  asian =)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641421
text:
  <pyxl> my schedule says I'm taking physics this year
  <matterless> Good, it builds character.
  <pyxl> your sympathy is overwhelming


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641447
text:
  <@sxh> newest contract requires "presentable" employees
  <@sxh> i don't see how they could expect to find a gq model
  that also happens to assemble network infrastructure


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641496
text:
  <Tom> Would it surprise you if a Mozilla browser on the Mac
  failed to adhere to max lengths set in a textbox?
  <Jon> It doesn't surprise me, because nobody adheres to the
  fucking W3C. it's like, of all the standards organizations in
  the world, they are universally ignored by pretty much
  everyone.
  <Jon> W3C says: "Electricity must flow from negative to
  positive, because that's the way electricity works."
  <Jon> Microsoft would say: "You can specify the direction of
  electrical flow, as well as whether or not you can kill
  yourself with it."
  <Jon> Mozilla would say: "Electricity?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641535
text:
  <arch0n> And no one really runs Solaris either...
  <foop> like white people can tell the difference


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641586
text:
  <[UMCP]TROGDOR> explain to me why i need to defragment my disk
  <[UMCP]TROGDOR> whats the advantage
  <[UMCP]commieboy> faster access speed
  <[UMCP]commieboy> Saint Google may be to your aide.
  <[UMCP]TROGDOR> it says its moving all my files
  <[UMCP]commieboy> yessir
  <[UMCP]TROGDOR> why
  <[UMCP]TROGDOR> ill NEVER FIND THEM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641641
text:
  <@Shadowbuilder> haha have you ever seen that commercial
  <@Shadowbuilder> theres kid talking on a chat room
  <@NwG|Canucks> no explain
  <@Shadowbuilder> hes cybering with some girl, and he says
  "moan, moan for me as load as possible"
  <@Shadowbuilder> then you hear thing sound come from the
  corner of his house, soudns like moaning
  <@Shadowbuilder> and the kid says "mom?????"
  <@NwG|Canucks> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641690
text:
  <ChuffyCow> "welcome to the vancouver snow boarding
  championships. thousands of dollars are up for grabs"
  <ChuffyCow> WHO CARES, IT'S CANUCK MONEY


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641714
text:
  <Mystiq`> i wish you spoke better english
  <[SePtOr]> i should not
  <[SePtOr]> i dont have why... you understand what i wanna
  say... It even matter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641754
text:
  <Ed> Noah's Ark, bah.
  <Ed> <GOD> DUDE, YOU HAVE TO LIKE... GET A BUNCH OF ANIMALS
  AND SHIT. ALL OF THEM.
  <crunchyfish> <God> Gotta catch 'em all!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641792
text:
  <terrance?>: have you read the LOTR books
  <stratusxh>: no, however, i have them, and i'm considering
  reading them before school
  <stratusxh>: dunno though
  <stratusxh>: that boost of geekness may well keep me from
  getting laid for a couple weeks after reading them
  <stratusxh>: i sure as hell know the Harry Potter books did
  that
  <terrance?>: fuck harry potter
  <stratusxh>: fuck harry potter? fuck your taste in literature


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641827
text:
  <KeeperX> "Your profession puts you in a position to be
  interested in both technology and biosecurity issues so we ve
  arranged with COMDEX to offer you a free All-Access Pass when
  you register by midnight, EST, Friday, October 11. "
  <KeeperX> wtf
  <KeeperX> i write about video games
  <KeeperX> how does that make me interested in biosecurity
  issues?
  <Legacy> You've played RE right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641855
text:
  <etc> so tempting to release a product called 'nicotine' and
  wait for the patches.
  <etc> then i would have a reason to only apply one patch a
  day. otherwise, i'm going against medical advise.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641908
text:
  <orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible
  <orion> someone explain please
  <timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2?
  <Duker900> natural selection in your operating system!
  <timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called
  darwin run my computer
  <timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch
  <timmo> and it would be like
  <timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH
  <timmo> and delete your shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641936
text:
  <Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a
  cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641961
text:
  <memo> I AM NOW TAKING REQUESTS REGARDING PRESSING SPECIFIC
  LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET AND THEN HITTING ENTER   <memo> IF
  ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A LETTER PLEASE DO SO NOW AND I
  WILL TYPE IT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.641984
text:
  * LordLinus has returned.. back again ..[gone/46d 16h 43m 32s]
  * LordLinus is gone.. autoaway after 15 min [cyp/lp]..
  <nester> and so it begins again...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642033
text:
  <plaktu> ls
  <plaktu> oops
  <cwd> .
  <cwd> ..
  <cwd> gaysex/
  <cwd> teenpics/
  <cwd> kidpics/
  <cwd> how_to_steal_children.txt
  <cwd> NAMBLA_MEETINGS.doc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642074
text:
  <Roga> wats the dirtiest thing clare has sed to u while ur
  goin at it?
  <grinners> dunno jake... can i shit on your face maybe?
  <grinners> she a nice girl
  <joker2> "got a hand free? 'cause i forgot to wipe"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642104
text:
  <demonotaku_> hate when you fall asleep and your cat jumps on
  your keyboard
  <Facemaker> Yeah, they always talk about you on irc behind
  your back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642145
text:
  <Dr_Memory> I think there's a real argument to be made here
  that using RAID for home data storage is putting effort into
  the wrong end of the problem.
  <Dr_Memory> when you can buy 2TB disks off the shelf, it's
  probably substantially simpler to just buy two of them, set up
  a good backup system, and reap the day-to-day simplicity
  benefits of one controller -> one disk -> one filesystem.
  <Dr_Memory> or to put it another way: your kitten photos do
  not need the same high-availabity system infrastructure as
  Citibank's transaction databases :)
  <topaz> I CAN HAS FIEV NIENS?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642227
text:
  (BudhaM0nk) i want hard drives so small i can snort them up
  like powder and increase my brain capacity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642253
text:
  <laertes> NAPLES, Italy (Reuters) - Christmas has never tasted
  this good. Thirty-two pastry chefs in the southern Italian
  city of Naples unveiled on Saturday what they say is the
  biggest ever nativity scene made entirely of chocolate.
  <skolex> sweet jesus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642284
text:
  * xargs should not drive a bike
  <xargs> because...
  <xargs>               o       _      _          _
  <xargs>      _o      /_    _ \o   (_)__/o   (_)
  <xargs>    _< _    _>(_)  (_)/<_     _|     _|/' /
  <xargs>   (_)>(_)  (_)         (_)    (_)     (_)'  _o_
  <xargs> =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642328
text:
  <LoverMan> Yeah, I remember when my boss' wife had computer
  problems...she
  asked me to go over and help fix it, she wasn't seeing
  anything on the
  screen and has rebooted, checked the connections, etc...so I
  go over there
  <LoverMan> And the monitor wasn't turned on.  Her excuse?
  "Oh, I never turn
  it off so I didn't think to check that."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642361
text:
  * JuhorNieger slaps BlackWolf|Away around a bit with a large
  trout
  * BlackWolf takes the trout out of Submerge's hands, and puts
  it back in the river. (Trout Saved: 96 ~~~><)))'>~~~><)))'>
  ~~~)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642401
text:
  <zhix> logicbox - sarenna lee rocks you.. she's just so..
  bountiful!
  <zhix> I could literally get lost in her bosom.
  <zhix> I'd accidently drop my bagel in there and end up
  falling in..
  <barkode> barkode: JOSH, ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE? zhix: I'M
  FINE. GO AWAY. barkode: I'LL GET HELP. zhix: DON'T YOU DARE
  FUCKER. LEAVE ME HERE.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642435
text:
  <THC|Rawk> I've literally got a -blind- date tonight.
  <THC|Stone> ORLY? o_O
  <THC|Rawk> It suits me fine for two reasons. First of all,
  I'll get to see if this "wonderful personality" crap I keep
  getting from girls actually is true.
  <THC|Rawk> And if not, she'll never see what I slip into her
  drink.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642511
text:
  monetcopy: girls are like nun chucks
  monetcopy: they are awesome!
  monetcopy: but when u mess up it hurts
  monetcopy: ...alot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642540
text:
  <CactusJack> thats exeactly it...
  (putnam): i lip synced rubber ducky by ernie from sesame
  street in literature for a project once.
  (putnam): that brought the damn house down. i couldnt believe
  how perverted the song is
  (putnam): i danced too. and got people into it. they were
  clapping.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642575
text:
  <Chebarak> dude where you live?
  <Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
  <Chebarak> right
  <Chebarak> so where you live ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642633
text:
  <Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?
  " "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the
  Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm
  hoping it's a coffee table."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642667
text:
  <Antioch-F> Don't you hate people with karaoke scripts?
  <Antioch-F> You know, they sit there and spam the lyrics to
  their song?
  <Antioch-F> It's not enough to just have a script that
  aggitates everyone by going "I AM NOW PLAYING THIS AND THAT
  SONG IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW!"
  <Antioch-F> No, they have to add karaoke to it.
  <Antioch-F> Just in case anyone wants to know what the lyrics
  are for "Oh Man, I Woke Up In A Truck And My Butt Sort Of
  Hurts" by Billy West.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642691
text:
  (rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
  (rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
  (rageboy) you are having a house party..
  (rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
  (rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your
  bathroom sink
  (rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
  (vrs) is he a good friend
  (vrs) ?
  (rageboy) yeah
  (vrs) do you like the girl?
  (rageboy) no no..
  (rageboy) i was the one fucking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642720
text:
  <drunkers> is your real name gabe?
  <Gabe-33> yes
  <drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
  <Gabe-33> no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642748
text:
  <+emul8or_> http://www.nylug.org/images/adler_images/
  linux_nylug_booth.jpg
  <+kritical`> damn look at them linux people
  <+kritical`> are they ever gonna get a woman???
  <+emul8or_> maybe if they pool their money


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642773
text:
  <punkassjy> i hate those goddamn jesus freaks with their
  wwjd.  i mean, wtf?
  <yapper> you mean wtfwjd!  lol!
  <punkassjy> rtfb!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642797
text:
  <Joesomebo> but can I operate under a different IP address
  that's not being used for example? Or is that the type of
  thing they only do in movies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642822
text:
  <Japhro> two lovers, making sweet love. sure one may be a
  tentacle monsterm and the other is a screaming, bleeding, 14
  year old girl. but love prevails and finds a way.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642874
text:
  ( jamesog )  grr
  ( jamesog )  heh, milk seems to stain CD-Rs rather well
  ( kevin )  dude thats not milk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642930
text:
  <nerdBeer> so, I just dropped a book _into the toilet_
  <ct> home or work?
  <popsQ> heh, does it matter?
  <nerdBeer> poop's poop, man.
  <banquo> Ok,..WHY were you reading a book over a poop filled
  toilet? And what!? "Poop spotters guide"? "Pooping for
  dummies"? "The illustrated guide to What the Hell did I Eat"?
  "Flushing and putting the seat down (A husbands compendium)"?

  <banquo> If you have to stand and read it it has to be porn
  while your,.........Oh I see


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642977
text:
  <Gothic> I sound Lovecraftian backwards
  <Gothic> Cithog, the black cloud of despair, hatred, and
  donuts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.642998
text:
  -   quit: (CIA) (SDF@n00b-3A83B275.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed
  (NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
  (@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643030
text:
  <Bizznatch> my dick is 3 inches long
  <chris> thats small.
  <DrunkenMaster> sad
  <Bizznatch> yus
  <deathazre> chris: not for a 3 year old
  <Bizznatch> death
  <chris> ...
  <Bizznatch> so you look at 3 year old's cocks every once in a
  while
  <chris> :D
  * deathazre has quit IRC (Quit: )
  <Bizznatch> THE TRUTH HURTS
  <Bizznatch> ...
  <Bizznatch> :P
  <incubus_chick> o.O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643087
text:
  <Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
  <Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
  <Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
  <Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your
  objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's
  blaring for like 1/4 mile
  <Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the
  road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643114
text:
  <@Kaczynski> I say reinstate the death penalty
  <@Kaczynski> and execute corrupt politicians
  <@Kaczynski> how are they acting differently from organized
  criminals?
  <@andro> they're getting caught


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643162
text:
  <Ishtardances> See why dont guys have to prove they are "male"
  on the internet?
  <Slapahoewitapaperbag> because guys dominate the chatrooms
  <Ishtardances> oh....I just figured they would be intimidated
  by my large cock.
  <slapahoewitapaperbag>...you are that same girl I just cybered
  with right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643240
text:
  <ash26> tip
  <ash26> never call yourself an american in england
  <ash26> claim your canadian
  <ash26> it will be so much easier for you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643272
text:
  <CCCXLVI> Ok so what I'm saying is, that CapnSilver said she
  was ugly, so that must mean that any girl that he has had any
  sort of relationship with must be BETTER looking than Paris
  Hilton... So basically he has only gone out with models??
  <CCCXLVI> Which we all know is utter shit.
  <jaxxon> your argument is 'shes better looking because i say
  so'
  <CCCXLVI> Bullshit, that's my whole argument just there.
  <CCCXLVI> Read it you fucking ignoramous.
  <CapnSilver> the flaw in your arguement is that you think
  you're right


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643295
text:
  * Doughboy ponders
  * Beryllium contemplates
  * Doughboy slips Beryllium a penny
  * Beryllium makes a template of the coin
  * Doughboy turns Beryllium in for counterfiting
  <Beryllium> I just wanted to open-source it! Money was meant
  to be free!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643320
text:
  <@Amon> I got this spider bite on my ass..
  <@Amon> x.x It hurts
  <@Xanthros> Well gee whiz. WTF were you doing to the poor
  spider?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643367
text:
  <laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the
  morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from
  across the room?
  <Neal> I can only pick one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643395
text:
  <cornbeef> 8? i didnt even know what a vagina was at 8
  <Scofco> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up
  until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta
  dish they served in fancy restaurants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643422
text:
  <vect0r> i think they have something called a "real life" i've
  heard the others talking about it
  <vect0r> i've never seen any screenshots though
  <vect0r> so i have no clue what that is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643469
text:
  <blaxthos> you want bash.org should participate in the SOPA
  blackout protest on 18 January ? (+) for yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643505
text:
  <manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where
  you do all the genital exams and shit
  <manero> and prostrate exams, etc
  <manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real
  person for the first time. and so she was very nervous
  <manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and
  everything is ok
  <manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it
  all
  <manero> but at the very end, as she finishes
  <manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so
  she slapped him on the ass
  <manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after
  she told the story
  <blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack
  <manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643537
text:
  <Elzie_Ann> I love how God tries to mass murder the Israelites
  like a million times in exodus
  <Elzie_Ann> And Moses has to calm him down every time
  <Elzie_Ann> <God> ARGH MUST KILL MY PEOPLE WHO SUCK <Moses>
  Wait they didn't mean it  <God> k but next time they're dying.
  <Moses> Dammit guys, stop pissing God off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643582
text:
  [@|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call
  [@|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any
  damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on
  [@|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your
  refrigerator running"
  [@|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it
  [@Mono] lol
  [@|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up
  [@|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering
  if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or
  breaking into your home at the moment"
  [@|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a
  gun to my face"
  [@Mono] rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643617
text:
  <Ettin> Heeey, Lyrai
  <Ettin> Hypotheeetical queestion for you
  <Ettin> If you geeeet seemen on thee keeyboard, wwould it
  breeak it?
  <Ettin> (Sorry, my "E" keey is sticky)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643647
text:
  <CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i
  hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs
  and closes the door*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643700
text:
  <Arkrite> Are you just going to rip off every TV show for the
  rest of the night? I mean, because I do have other things to
  do.
  <Sinclair-> masterbation does not count as something to do :P
  * @Death-Blade notes the amount of masterbation comments has
  grown 10x since everyone started on bash.org
  <Sinclair-> i know
  <Sinclair-> i dont even wank, and it's like all you see
  anymore on bash
  <@Death-Blade> arky: go there
  <Sinclair-> ah man
  <Sinclair-> i just opened up my ass crack for an ass raping
  didnt i?
  <@Death-Blade> you the goatse.cx guy?
  <Sinclair-> ewww!
  <Sinclair-> i went there wondering wtf they were talking about
  <Sinclair-> FUCK
  <@Death-Blade> lol
  <Arkrite> Okay, that's just destrubing beyond all belief.
  <Sinclair-> that and i went to google to learn what bukkake
  <Sinclair-> is
  <@Death-Blade> lol
  <Sinclair-> not
  <Sinclair-> cool
  <@Death-Blade> <wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy
  and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy
  all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser
  <Yodakirata> lol
  <Sinclair-> SHUT UP!
  <Sinclair-> I NEVER WANT TO SEE IMAGES IN MY HEAD LIKE THAT
  AGAIN!!!
  * Sinclair- types /clear


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643736
text:
  <Head> if I download porn off of Kazaa
  <Head> you think the RIAA can find me?
  <dsbnh> yeah the RECORDING industry has huge ties for porn
  <[GSF]Nitro> Head- you will be sued by Ron Jeremy
  <[GSF]Nitro> actually, since his penis is a legal entity and
  franchise, it will be the wang that sues you
  <Head> lol
  <dsbnh> its actually declared a country
  <dsbnh> you can recieve asylum by hiding under it
  <dsbnh> it was recognized as a hero when it saved 3 children
  from drowning
  <Head> lol
  <Panz> and then cummed in there faces
  <dsbnh> ....
  <Panz> *Splat*
  <Panz> ....
  <dsbnh> why must you turn a story of heroism into a sick
  twisted pedophile affair


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643764
text:
  <Arctic_Wolf> My friends parents bought him the nice DDR pads
  so he could lose some weight.
  <Arctic_Wolf> He gets in trouble whenever they find out he's
  bought a non DDR PS2 game.
  <Arctic_Wolf> "HOW IS ARMORED CORE 2 SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU LOSE
  WEIGHT, WONG?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643786
text:
  (dOkTeR---) doesnt matter how hot a girl is, if they do drugs
  and have a stupid personality, they are just as ugly as the
  fat bitch who won the pie eating contests


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643829
text:
  <www666> this is so cool I'm typing with Dragon
  NaturallySpeaking in mIrc
  <www666> no more typing
  <LameLLama> www: try "thlash exit"
  *** www666 has quit IRC (Leaving)
  *** www666 (baroca@spc-isp-ham-uas-05-11.sprint.ca) has joined
  #visualbasic
  <www666> Hugh Masters
  <www666> you basterdes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643867
text:
  <Lithium> if i buy a hardware firewall right - i just stick it
  on, tell it to block all ports - tada
  <Lithium> easy peasy
  <stephen> all ports?
  <Lithium> i aint got time to arse about isntalling software
  firewalls on every machine
  <Lithium> i tried before
  <Noodle> there's an easier and cheaper way to block all ports
  <Noodle> pull the RJ45 out :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643900
text:
  <@orion> i just mark down all the good nigger jokes on purpose
  now
  <@orion> so they'll be at the bottom
  <@orion> aka, the top nigger jokes
  <!scabb> that's where those niggers belong.
  <@orion> back of the bus, bottom of the /names list, end of
  the qdb
  <@Sir_Neo> first in line @ kfc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643930
text:
  * SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming
  <RavenBUSY> mister gamgee!
  <SamGamgee> mister busy
  <RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
  <JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.643985
text:
  <incoherent>:I AM not giving steam my fucking credit card.
  <Adopted>: can I have it?
  <incoherent>  Yah sure, you seem more secure then STEAM....
  <KellyX>: LOL ouch....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644012
text:
  < niblr> the Geneva Convention really should prohibit the
  forced rewriting of Ruby code into PHP
  < niblr> it's an inhumane torture... and I'm being subjected
  to it, one little piece of code at a time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644038
text:
  <catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
  <Dayv> You're just jealous.
  <Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you
  on the balcony.
  <Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644090
text:
  <+Quantsini> when i say the word "ramen" what words come to
  mind?
  * Ikari has joined #STNJ
  <@[Polynomial]> instant
  <ph4tkid> ninja
  <+Zanshi> porn
  <Ikari> instant ninja porn?!?! WHERE???!?!
  <+Quantsini> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644116
text:
  <Ash> I pay rent by playing the 'bottom' in sexual acts
  centering mostly around the anus.
  <Ash> You've solved the mystery!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644142
text:
  XCodymauX: I've been killing pimps all day and still don't
  have enough money for that sword of light.
  l33t 1nt3gr4l: the hell are you playing, GTA: Middle Earth?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644200
text:
  < skel> I just patented an atmospheric bio-oxygen extraction
  device..
  < skel> now I'll sue anyone breathing
  < skel> mwuhahahaha!
  < skel> i was just kidding guys
  < skel> you can let your breath out
  < skel> =P
  < skel> guys?
  < skel> OH DEAR GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
  < skel> BREATHE PEOPLE!!! BREATHE!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644228
text:
  MisVampyre: i'm so outta questions....i'm horrible at asking
  them
  rhys_rhaven: questions are cute
  rhys_rhaven: but the real way to understand a person is simple
  rhys_rhaven: you wind a cord around the top of the biggest
  pair of stairs you can find
  rhys_rhaven: and then you wait till a person is about to walk
  down the stairs, where they will obviously trip and have
  horrible things happen to them
  rhys_rhaven: and then you walk 20 feet way. and you put a
  thing of frozen bacon in a skillet
  rhys_rhaven: and you make the skillet so it can only be heated
  by a locked drum underneath it, which can be lit only by a
  single pilot light, which you then line with det cord trailing
  to a small mortar next to it. which you fill with kittens
  rhys_rhaven: hungry, meowing kittens
  MisVampyre: oh. my. god.
  rhys_rhaven: And lastly you put a timer on the  on the propane
  for  the bacon. So they have a choice
  rhys_rhaven: save the person
  rhys_rhaven: save the kittens
  rhys_rhaven: or eat the bacon
  MisVampyre: you're awesome
  MisVampyre: omg..eat the bacon
  rhys_rhaven: Thats it. I love you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644274
text:
  <BlasterWisconsin> anyone know how many cups are in a quart ?
  <BlasterWisconsin> iam making carmel corn and need 2 qts of
  popcorn
  <CBG> depends on the size of the cup
  <CBG> I mean, a 36D would fill a quart much quicker...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644295
text:
  annonymous: there is this post on the IMDB board asking if saw
  III has any nudity because they want to know if they can take
  their kids to it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644325
text:
  <magpie> i bet you just hit a deer with your vehicle
  <magpie> and call it "hunting"
  <JustNoodle> I drive a saturn, I'd have more of a chance of my
  car exploding then killing a deer when I hit one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644346
text:
  (hydroponik): lol my penis is naked and its 10 inches long :]
  (cursor): hydroponik: objects in mirror are nine inches bigger
  than they areally are


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644371
text:
  <SlimSurdy> remind me never to cyber a 16yr old using bitchx
  under
  linux with no pvt msg windows
  <SlimSurdy> at least not with you fuckers in the #
  <Fanboy> hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644400
text:
  <tomfoolery> there's a small fire burning in my room
  <beretta> lemme guess im supposed to act suprised that you're
  telling us and not making any attempt to extinguish it, so i
  can submit it to bash where it will join the ranks of the
  other "SOMETHING CATOSTROPHIC HAPPENED SO I CAME TO TELL YOU
  GUYS ON IRC FIRST INSTEAD OF ATTEMPTING TO DEFUSE THE HOSTILE
  SITUATION" quotes that are grossly abundant, similar, and
  overrated. and despite a new one is submitted each week and
  only the location of the fire is altered, loyal viewers firmly
  believe it is a unique and hilarious quotation, pledging
  support in the form of unneccesary votes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644431
text:
  <aidan> i'm going to rule when i leave home
  <wyki> why?
  <aidan> i was concerned about the amount of food in the house
  <aidan> i now sit here with four, yes, four peanut butter and
  jam sandwiches and a glass of milk
  <aidan> i could live like this for weeks
  <wyki> ahh but when you are living on your own you will need
  to shop, and then you will be greeted with the problem that
  has faced many broke young men living by themselves. to buy
  bread and peanut butter, or to buy condoms and bear
  <aidan> why i would EVER buy condoms and a bear is beyond me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644456
text:
  <calif> dude i definatly spend too much time on irc, lol
  <Marl3y> yeah, at around 10 last night I went downstairs to
  get something to eat, and my mom was in the kitchen and goes
  ... "whoa, you still live here?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644489
text:
  <@Twitch`> i almost got into a fight at futureshop last night
  <@Twitch`> these two guys were talking about NWN, and i said
  before they played that they should go on 'thine quest to wash
  thy hair'
  <@Twitch`> they had long stringy gross oily hair, it almost
  made me sick to my stomach
  <@Twitch`> they said 'fuck you'
  <@Twitch`> then i said 'fuck you'
  <@Twitch`> then this store guy asked me to go look at stuff
  somewhere else
  <@Path`> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644511
text:
  chickcorea1357: i was so high that the fractal elves started
  asking me what the hell I had been smoking


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644537
text:
  [Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two
  months.
  [Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING
  [Video] That's sad
  [Ouija] i know
  [Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique?
  [Video] Release shit no one wants?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644562
text:
  <evilbob> installing linux is like piercing your tongue. it'll
  impress your friends, but it's stupid and painful. and people
  without pierced tongues will laugh at you when you complain
  about it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644589
text:
  <Zeratul-SK> Cello, I'm tired of you in the top of the users
  list. :P
  <Cellosoft> zer, I'm tired of you on the User list


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644614
text:
  * GLE has joined #motl
  <implode> if you want to blow the dealer, thats your option
  <{Excabus}> If I was a girl, I'd totally give head for magic
  cards.
  * GLE has quit IRC (Quit: Note to self; stop coming here)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644640
text:
  <jamesm> what are you running on the alphas?
  <MMouse> tru64 at the moment
  <MMouse> with oracle
  <jamesm> no wonder so many dotcoms go under


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644666
text:
  <markogogo> :(
  <markogogo> I try and try and try....
  <markogogo> ... and nothing comes out of it.
  <Yellow-Snow> try using the other hand mark


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644696
text:
  <SwiftWrk> so... warcraft 3 in like 2 hours?
  <fugimax> so...
  <fugimax> my balls in yo' mouth in like 3 hours?
  <LockeCole> erm...if I'm available sure
  <LockeCole> damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644750
text:
  <blazemore> we know your hand gets more action jax0ring than
  your feet do walking
  <scar`1> yeah well that's also caused by the fact that i
  hardly walk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644810
text:
  <NekoGuy> Non-Human Intelligent Rights Act: Subsection 4a.
  Digital Intelligence: Any conscious program shall never run
  under the Windows Operating System.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644862
text:
  <[NCA]Spank> I was pretty dumb about computers. <[NCA]Spank>
  Then I learned you could get porn on them. <[NCA]Spank> 3
  years later I'm a system administrator.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644905
text:
  * Atma (~atma@216-21-193-206.spectrumdsl.net) Quit (Ping
  timeout)
  * Atma (~atma@216-21-193-5.spectrumdsl.net) has joined #kvs
  * Atma will strangle his father if he ever tries to get his
  attention by flipping the lightswitch off and on again


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644950
text:
  Murcho: and for the first time in my life i spent a
  considerable amount of time trying to put my dick into what i
  thought was the 'vagina'
  DrZaius: LOL
  Murcho: the plumbing on these french girls is different man im
  telling you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.644994
text:
  sessorach: you know whats funny?
  sessorach: offering people sexual favors in exchange for
  something
  sessorach: be like "Ill give you sexual favors for that
  whatever"
  mathJunkie314: you know whats funny?
  mathJunkie314: me reading that last sentence before the rest
  O_o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645044
text:
  <Kiell> My system clock is gaining one minute every twelve
  hours.
  <Kiell> As a result, I'm completing tasks slightly quicker
  than normal.
  <Kiell> I don't like it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645185
text:
  <Macolio> shaid: like last time, I helped scrybe do his
  chemestry assignment, even though I had no idea what I was
  doing. Because that's just the type of person I am.
  <Shaid> and he failed.
  <Macolio> that's irrelevant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645233
text:
  <dodge> oh shit, i got icecream on my keyboard
  <dodge> shit, now chocolate
  <dodge> i should clean it instead of mashing it under the keys


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645278
text:
  SeanieG123: I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of
  America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need
  for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you
  would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable
  to you.
  SeanieG123: Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA
  and college fund account numbers and those of your children
  and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we
  may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I
  receive that information, I will respond with detailed
  information about safeguards that will be used to protect the
  funds.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645318
text:
  Schlik: i saw your mom
  LckyLuciano8: where?
  Schlik: naked so did adam, we were watchin
  Schlik: and dont call us stockers
  LckyLuciano8: stockers?
  LckyLuciano8: or stalkers?
  Schlik: hey fuck off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645363
text:
  <azathoth> why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be
  lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a
  20 year old computer programmer can provide...
  * azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his
  debugging


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912774
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645414
text:
  <CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
  <CreepingDeath> during WWII
  <CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
  <CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
  <Malek> colonel klink?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645505
text:
  <Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our
  gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
  <Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645552
text:
  *** weedsmokingpylon has quit IRC (Killed (stats.dal.net (User
  has been banned from DALnet ([exp/os] Due to abuse from this
  host, you are no longer welcome on DALnet. See http://
  kline.dal.net/exploits/akills.htm#os for more information.)
  [AKILL ID:1032824129K-e])))
  <ChRiS^HoWiE^GoNe> lol
  *** ChRiS^HoWiE^GoNe is now known as ChRiS^HoWiE
  <BurningDog> dalnet 1 , weed 0


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645601
text:
  <duncan> i should get oli to come here.
  <duncan> and we should make him get alcohol poisoning.
  <n3wt> Or poison poisoning
  <duncan> YES


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645644
text:
  <ZombieKing> best way to get rid of a client with dial-up,
  told them to install service pack 2 and call back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645732
text:
  <Rav3n> if eminem had a 15 year old sister, she would look like this http://
  www.msnusers.com/mypicture?user=
  4263~4AAABAAAACQvSEQB3m0gg5W641xHxiPqX7DnL4o6NOPKV6XsTAf7Hmxg$$~4AAACAAAAEVyAFyBKsl7uXPmYHd1ECNoIXtgGXx*RzqyY$

  <kluster> that's the weirdest ascii art i saw in ages
  <kluster> oh, it is a link. nm


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645786
text:
  <Atom> im racist against leprachans
  <Prozzy> Yah, that's why you can never pick up Leprachans at a
  bar. "So honey, wanna go on back to my place?" "BITCH AINT
  GIVING UP MY LUCKY CHARMS THAT EASY!"
  <Atom> i bet people in ireland call genital warts "lucky
  charms"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645891
text:
  <Firamas> bash.org is the cure for everything
  <Firamas> insomnia
  <Firamas> homework
  <lvlsixtyclr> sexual needs?
  <Firamas> hunger
  <Firamas> ok, almost everything
  <lvlsixtyclr> come on
  <lvlsixtyclr> you cant tell me u dont masturbate to the quotes
  <Firamas> i'll admit that i have yet to consider beatin off to
  it
  <lvlsixtyclr> I'm masturbating right now thinking about you
  masturbating to bash.org


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.645952
text:
  <ChaB`s> Santa Claus hates you.
  <LordReavr> he doesn't, he gives me presents.
  <ChaB`s> no he doesn't.
  <ChaB`s> that's not santa at all.
  <LordReavr> you're just jealous because all you get is lumps
  of coal.
  <ChaB`s> hey, I'm prepared for an energy crisis, man


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646000
text:
  <Elysium> I think I need to watch some porn for luck
  <gNaRKiLL> doesnt work
  <gNaRKiLL> id be the luckiest fucker alive
  <gNaRKiLL> id shit leprachauns


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646050
text:
  * @Super-Vipeo [Super Mario Brothers Theme Song-Nintendo] -
  [0.65mb; 1:24; 64kbps; 44khz; mono]
  <@Cockroach> I saw a quicktime movie of a guy playing that on
  the piano
  <@Cockroach> and about every other mario song
  <@Cockroach> was kind of scary... then people on the CS forum
  started posting about learning sailor moon songs on their
  clarinets
  <@Cockroach> and suddenly the Mario guy was normal again...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646098
text:
  <timmo> it blows my mind
  <timmo> that some people want to just be born, grow up, etc
  just in one place
  <timmo> and not go out and explore the world
  <v3dd3r> shutup magellan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646145
text:
  <Bruce_MacCulloch> ever hear the saying "if you cant say
  something nice, dont say anything"? well, I have a corollary
  to that - it goes "if you cant say something meaningful, go
  away or be quiet"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646193
text:
  <DirkGently> IBO's about to turn into a OS war zone.
  <iDno> no because...watch this
  <iDno> Im going to do something that NO mac user is capable of
  doing.
  * iDno drops it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646238
text:
  * AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it
  in Foe's crotch.
  Foenix: HA!  Joke's on you!  I had no plans to use that for
  years!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646859
text:
  <thebluetml> everyone doesn't like me
  <thebluetml> so i told my mom
  <thebluetml> and she said i was cool
  <thebluetml> other than the fact i have glasses, acne and 6
  fingers on my left hand.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.646969
text:
  <es0> how you use TCp with an abacus?
  <%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack?
  <@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :)
  <%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs
  out there
  <%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier
  pigeons"
  <@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647066
text:
  <persia> my favorite country song is "i fucked my horse on a
  sunday morning"
  <migg> my fave country song is "Its midnight in montana, and i
  cant get my dick out of this cow"
  *** You were kicked by sandk1ng (i like the song "i kicked my
  friend for makin fun of music i listen to")


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647111
text:
  <b00m> i once got a virus that opened and shut my cd drive and
  i was like wtf... i ended up taping it shut until i wiped my
  computer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647161
text:
  <Low> wassup
  * sean estimates the age of Low as 11.
  <Low> uhhh higher
  <sean> liar.
  * Low estimates the iq of sean as 3 maybe 4
  <Low> im amazed u can type
  <Low> let alone breathe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647207
text:
  DaLady Firestorm: and drinking my tea
  Laketh 69: teabag?
  DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
  DaLady Firestorm: and yes, there is a tea bag in my drink
  right now
  Laketh 69: lol
  DaLady Firestorm: why do you ask
  Laketh 69: .......
  Laketh 69: teabag ;(
  DaLady Firestorm: do I want to know
  DaLady Firestorm: what's the fixation with teabag
  Laketh 69: is when you stick your balls into a girls mouth
  DaLady Firestorm: did you have a pet tebag...
  DaLady Firestorm: ...ah...
  DaLady Firestorm: okay, that explains it
  DaLady Firestorm: ew...
  Laketh 69: duh
  Laketh 69: and u like teabags
  DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
  DaLady Firestorm: not the bags
  DaLady Firestorm: or sacs
  DaLady Firestorm: or whatever
  Laketh 69: the bags make the tea
  DaLady Firestorm: I like what comes out of the tea bags
  DaLady Firestorm: oh, wait a second


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647296
text:
  <_cobra_> how can i allow right-click on links only while
  preventing right-click on the rest of a webpage ??
  <yossarian> why would you want to prevent right-click
  anywhere?
  <_cobra_> to prevent newbies stealing the html


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647369
text:
  < jgaddis> know what's funny?
  < jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
  bin/less
  < jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
  bin/more
  <@LeBear> A green tapdancing kangaroo!
  < jgaddis> more is really less
  <@LeBear> jgaddis: more or less, of course
  < patrickT> so less IS more! :)
  <@SpamapS> less is not more, less is more than more
  < jgaddis> less isn't more
  < jgaddis> more is less
  <@LeBear> SpamapS: how much more is less more than more?
  <@SpamapS> no, more is less than less.
  < themaxxz> less is indeed more
  <@SpamapS> LeBear: more tha more is less than less.
  <@LeBear> SpamapS: you mean less is more more than more is
  less less?
  <@SpamapS> LeBear: more or less


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647424
text:
  <@xyst> perl made me angry last week.
  <@xyst> so angry i wrote something in java instead.
  <@ecoli> wtf could it have done to make you do that?
  <@ecoli> that's like saying "hot naked women made me so angry
  i had to go slam my penis in a car door"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647574
text:
  <@WrmSlayer> i just peeled off my keyboard glove thingy
  <Ironmax^> keyboard glove?
  <@WrmSlayer> yeah
  <@spidey> you got a conny on your keyboard?
  <@WrmSlayer> yeah its like a condom
  <@WrmSlayer> stops spooge from leaking down between the keys
  <@spidey> it must take away all feel :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647618
text:
  Mervin: Alright, thats it
  Mervin: I'm so gonna get you
  Kelvin: GEEK
  Mervin: You are so not 3l337
  Kelvin: I am so 3l337
  Rocky:Alright geeks, i think we know how to settle this
  Rocky: Dungeons and Dragons at D20 paces


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647669
text:
  *** Joins: soundsold
  (~heldar@host61.wentworth.w.subnet.rcn.com)
  <zaps> that is wierd
  <zaps> my last name is in that host.
  <timmo> WOW
  <timmo> WHAT A COINCIDENCE
  <orion> is your last name 61.w?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647768
text:
  <Facade> Vista is like an extra thick condom. More safe but
  slightly less fun....
  <Facade> Hah, even viruses have compatibility issues >_<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647813
text:
  <+Fantasma> makes me feel all special and gooey inside
  <+Fantasma> like a little catholic shoolgirl having her first
  orgasm in the rafters of the church during communion


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.647916
text:
  <TknoMncr> defunkt: if there's 1 thing I can't stand...
  <TknoMncr> it's someone thinkin they're cool bringing a kid
  onto irc
  <TknoMncr> I swear
  <TknoMncr> if I find someone doing it
  <TknoMncr> I will get em reported for child abuse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648001
text:
  <Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their
  last words
  will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the
  keyboard on the way down.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648047
text:
  <Elfer> uh oh
  <Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
  <Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648093
text:
  <teknoho> im not drinking hard liquor for a lil while. i gave
  it up for lent.
  <mmmichael> what does lent do to you?
  <mmmichael> does it fuck you up?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648144
text:
  <Spectra> hrm.  Optus are going to start charging me >= $10
  more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our
  customers".
  <Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay
  more for your service".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648193
text:
  <ToastyX> CNQ: Use webserve.dal.net, it's new and reliable
  <ToastyX> I never get peered from it.
  *** ToastyX has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648246
text:
  <p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
  <BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider
  it
  <BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648296
text:
  <SkoL> mofo must be drunk
  <Tweedle> |OUF|mofo: you getting AMD?
  <|OUF|mofo> no
  <Tweedle> yeah he's drunk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648342
text:
  <das> Headline: Bill Gates will be leaving Microsoft in July
  2008
  <Cryo> I'm sure that will be delayed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648453
text:
  <mogh> I landed an in person interview
  <sergey> where at?
  <alexander> Hydraulic Press Inc.
  <sergey> You've gotta crush the interview to work there
  <sergey> very firm handshake is a plus as well
  <kurn> dunno if I'd want to work there, I hear it's a
  high-pressure environment
  <kurn> and opportunities for advancement are pretty flat

  <alexander> Getting the wrong manager there can be
  soul-crushing.
  <helena> but getting the right one can be powerfully
  uplifting
  <mogh> I think I could squeeze out a living


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648505
text:
  <prok> heh they set up one of those temporary radar speed
  detector things yesterday, the ones that tell you how fast
  you're going
  <prok> with a big sign
  <prok> i did about 5 laps around it trying to get my car up to
  120
  <ShizCakes> You know it takes your picture if it starts
  blinking when you go past it, right?
  <prok> whoops


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648552
text:
  <Felix1> lud, as a 'gag' somebody set our air con on 44
  degrees
  <Felix1> brother is on the critical list, We lost Mum on the
  operating table, Dad never regained consiousness and our dogs
  corneas melted down her face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648605
text:
  <sthmnstr> So I was in this restauraunt with my gf the other
  day and she wanted to emberas me.
  <sthmnstr> I had eaten too much and was holding my stomach
  moaning and then she's all like 'aww, is the baby kicking?'
  and i said 'Yup. Thats the last time I eat one of those
  whole...'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648703
text:
  <Aelfinn> I'm psychic
  <Aelfinn> I can predict what will happen in the future
  <Gundulf> Yeah, then what am I going to say next?
  <Aelfinn> Wrong
  <Gundulf> ...touche


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648788
text:
  <AdamH> There are 10 kinds of people when it comes to binary.
  Those who understand it, and those who don't.
  * AdamH rimshits
  <AdamH> RIMSHOTS!
  <DL> Heheheheh.
  <DL> Sorry, Adam, two of those "heh"s were at the joke. The
  rest were at rimshits. :-P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648840
text:
  < Redb3ard> so, im using this godawful slow pcanywhere
  connection
  < Redb3ard> 2 hours to scroll through a list, check off the
  things i need to
  < Redb3ard> idiot customer comes along, closes the window at
  97% done
  < Redb3ard> doesnt minimize it, closes it
  < Redb3ard> so i locked the keyboard, blanked the screen, and
  locked it like that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648906
text:
  <@sioux> it's going to be tricky tomorrow, i don't know if
  i'll make it
  <@sioux> so if something happens to me, will one of you come
  and delete my pr0n?
  <@sioux> i don't want my mother to find it
  <@sioux> but please make sure i'm dead. wait until after the
  funeral. don't delete that shit while i'm still on life
  support or in a coma or something
  <@sioux> if by some "act of god" or a donor organ i'm
  miraculously saved, and i come home and all my pr0n is gone,
  i'm going to kill myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.648952
text:
  <Prozzy> I would, i have a scanner right next to me, BUT THINK
  OF THE [FUTURE] CHILDREN. I'd hate to tell my kid with downs
  syndrome that they're fucked up cuz i scanned my nuts.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649005
text:
  <richard> To be fair to windows, there is one thing you can do
  on it that you can't do on Unix
  <teifion> Can you do it on my Mac?
  <richard> No, it is unique to Windows
  <teifion> What is it?
  <richard> You can defrag stuff


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649055
text:
  <Panty_HaX0r> how old are you?
  <phubuh> 13
  <Scofco> I wish I was 13 again, then I wouldn't have AIDS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649103
text:
  <Kimaroo> the pathetic side of being a nerd: http://
  www.bash.org/?7755
  <Mike`away> bash is back up??
  <Kimaroo> no i'm just givin out dead links


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649155
text:
  <juicy_J> i have a question for you goose
  <GooseThe> k
  <juicy_J> pay $500 to get a female to give you oral, or free
  from a homeless man named steve
  <GooseThe> 500
  <juicy_J> suppose you only have 10.35 and a pack of smarties
  <CpuMan2001> uh
  <CpuMan2001> get a prostitute with diabetes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649246
text:
  <snag> <@Mir> I wonder what it would be like to fuck in
  space... in 0-gee
  <snag> you need to fuck first
  <snag> then you can be picky


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649304
text:
  <pagan> have you ever sneezed while taking a shit?
  <pagan> explosive reaction, to say the least
  <goatgirl> you even been inside a woman when she sneezes?
  <goatgirl> major vagina clench
  <Juxta> yay for vagina clentch
  <goatgirl> i usually sneeze 5 times in a row
  <goatgirl> just think, 5 vaginal clenches is quick succession
  <pagan> im gonna throw ground peper in my wifes face tonight
  when im fucking her :D
  <goatgirl> hahahah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649349
text:
  <manda> i said it once ill say it agian
  <manda> 14 yr olds should be kept from the net
  <Zer0ne> unless in jpg form


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649397
text:
  <ninth> creed is the cutting edge
  <JtHM> just cuz they make you want to slit your wrists doesn't
  make them cutting edge


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649450
text:
  <PamelaPeaks> man my assistant is eating some weird ass
  sausage that smells like farts
  <rooster> hrm
  <dedd[afk]> yummy
  <rooster> weird "ass sausages"
  <rooster> or weird ass "sausages"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649505
text:
  <Vash> /ctcp Bot doit passwd <command>
  <Vash> try it!
  <Kao> okay
  -> [Bot] DOIT passwd msg #scripting I love babies
  <bot> I love babies
  -> [Bot] DOIT passwd /run shutdown -r -t 3 -c "byeeeee"
  <Vash> ohhh
  * Vash has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
  * Bot has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649547
text:
  <oktane> whoa. I just took a shit the width and length of my
  arm. when it splashed down, it hit my ballsack and I had to
  take a shower again. Im dead serious.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649647
text:
  <Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
  <Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that
  he liked.
  <Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage
  Against The Machine.
  <Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated,
  Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna
  burn".
  <Kiell>  Funniest. Funeral. Ever.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649703
text:
  < krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
  < krept_> i'm going to have real friends
  < krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
  <@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
  < krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649748
text:
  (Teg[WTW]) Some girl left her yearbook lying around, so I
  decided to sign it.
  (Teg[WTW]) I wrote "Megan - Even though I never met you, I've
  had some good times over the years watching you from that tree
  in your backyard. Stalkingly, Steve"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649851
text:
  <b1u3> know whatd rule
  <b1u3> if somehow, we got bush and his two daughters and
  suddam and his two sons in a ring, with glass shard laced
  gloves, like in that movie kickboxxer
  <b1u3> or give the bush daughters two beer bottles apiece and
  send them to melee the fuck out of the iraqui ground
  soldiers...a bush girl with a beer bottle against a skinny
  iraqui whos only there so his family doesnt get gassed is like
  bruce lee against david spade


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649919
text:
  <Pixistix>  I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and
  Delete.
  <Pixistix>  If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit
  them all twice
  <Pixistix>  Problem solved.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.649975
text:
  <via_> okay, so my white trashiness knows no bounds
  <via_> my dad had to thaw out the turkey quickly
  <via_> so guess how he does it?
  <antiuser> blowtorch?
  <concaf> deep fry?
  <via_> he throws a 25lbs turkey in the spa for 20 minutes
  <concaf> HAHAHHAH
  <Wevah> GET YOUR FLAME THROWERS OUT
  <via_> worked like a charm


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650021
text:
  <CARNAGE|dnd> This girl im talking to keeps telling me she
  wants to jump my bone..=/
  <Karnage> tell her it's a short ride


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650116
text:
  <Detrafilia> One time i was so tired, i had asked 'how are
  you?' in rpgamer, and then i looked in a diff query, went back
  to rpgamer, saw the 'how are you?' and i go 'oh fine, just a
  little sleepy. thanks. You?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912799
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650212
text:
  <zipperface> Erin, mon cherrie, ta beauté et seulment
  comparable à qui a coupé le fromage.
  <Xanathis> did you say her beauty is comparable to a cup of
  cheese?
  <Jedah> no no
  <Jedah> her beauty is only comparable to who cut the cheese


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650259
text:
  Shinryuu: I think I just heard the worst local news pun ever.
  Shinryuu: "No, it's not a cartoon, It's Felix the Cat 5
  Hurricane."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650316
text:
  <Outsyder> ok
  <Outsyder> so I was sitting in gym on friday
  <Outsyder> my friends were talking about some stupid thing
  <Outsyder> and I was stroking my leg hair
  <Outsyder> and i thought
  <Outsyder> "hey, if a supervillian had hairy legs, he wouldn't
  need a cat"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650543
text:
  <var> hrmm
  <var> how the fuck did a shortcut to e13ay end up on my
  desktop
  <var> what kinda nefarious shit is windows update pulling
  <Guilty> It's your computers way of saying it wants a new
  owner
  <Guilty> Like a dog scratching on the door to get out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650590
text:
  <coulson> Check this quote :) "<n|ghtOUT> my gf can smoke
  cigarettes with her pussy"
  <BiOHaZd> She must taste like an ashtray


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650637
text:
  <Scoteh> Im depressed
  <wizzer> why?
  <Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in
  real life....
  <wizzer> Ah......


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650685
text:
  <+k\o\w> I wanna make a font
  <+k\o\w> where the letters are made of penises
  <Kid_Khaos> and call it Lucida Handjob
  <+k\o\w> r0x0r.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650733
text:
  <karl> becouse hetersexual impersonaters are in reality none
  sexuals becouse they lie about there sexualidentity and there
  fore dont use there true sexuality whatever that may be hence
  there nothing real just bull shit talking with no truthful
  axctions

  <mobius> I hate to sound like your Dad's boyfriend, but what
  the hell did you just say Karl?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650780
text:
  <Saber> help me
  <Saber> I just ate a fortune cookie
  <Saber> But I don't remember taking the fortune out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650873
text:
  <t_h_e_o-> why do u use a period at the end of every sentence?
  <dager> ROFL
  <dager> BECAUSE
  <dager> ITS A FUCKING SENTENCE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650934
text:
  <Jin> Wtf?!
  * Jin kicks Quaggs' ass just for looking so fucked
  <ramoth4> jin you don't have to kick someone to hurt them
  <ramoth4> just kind of saunter up
  <ramoth4> and lie down
  <ramoth4> *squish*
  <ramoth4> "oops sorry"
  *** ramoth4 was kicked off #spidermantc by Jin (*squish*)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.650977
text:
  Itsm3: Cardboard, when you were little your parents used to
  tell you to stop making that face or you would be ugly for the
  rest of your life.
  Itsm3: And then they realized. . . you weren't making a face.
  CardboardBoxes: :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651026
text:
  <D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
  <D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or
  something.
  <McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
  <McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better
  than old ones.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651075
text:
  <vegetaandnappa> nothing, just pissed at my GAY mouse
  <shqua> Your mouth has a sexual preference?
  <shqua> Err...
  <shqua> Mouse.
  shqua (~shqua@net47-206.fhsu.edu) is now known as DrFreud
  <DrFreud> Oh, my...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651116
text:
  (rageboy) id tell you to put my box in the topic so i could
  sell shells but its not static ip and only 28.8 connection
  (rageboy) and im in windows right now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651163
text:
  <CoRDWoRK> i know everything your thinking ... you dirty
  bastard ;)
  <Tarrasque> why else do you think the cat is sleeping on my
  lap?
  <CoRDWoRK> to get the mouse outa ya ass?
  <Tarrasque> no, because i get no other pussy this close.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651296
text:
  SpicyLemon: Jesus died for my sins.  I figure, it's best to
  not let him die in vain.  I sin as much as possible.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651350
text:
  <+izua> !toolbox.lmd5 639bae9ac6b3e1a84cebb7b403297b79
  <@nanobot> Result: you
  <+izua> !toolbox.lmd5 a181a603769c1f98ad927e7367c7aa51
  <@nanobot> Result: all
  <+izua> !toolbox.lmd5 a195a27d1c96dbc7ea4aa9928d914673
  <@nanobot> Result: suck
  <+izua> !toolbox.lmd5 9268d0b2d17670598c70045b0c7abf38
  <@nanobot> Result: cock


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651394
text:
  <LuMpY> i got an OC48 and 32 linux servers doing nothing on
  1000Mb lan
  <putnam> oh yeah bitch, well i got OC49 and 33 linux servers
  doing everything on a 5000Mb lan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651440
text:
  <jre> If you were a Nazi and had 2 hostages but only 1 bullet,
  who would you shoot?  Some normal crew-cut soldier or G.I.
  Joe?
  <Gudrow> I'd shoot myself because Nazis are assholes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651486
text:
  <BlakMajiK> my dad said "we need to get ready for this y2k
  bullshit, i'm gonna fill the fridge in the basement full of
  beer"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651529
text:
  <@WatchDragon> dude, i am like -- that close to having my
  boating licence
  <@motardo> dude, you are like -- that close to having a mullet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651586
text:
  <mjew1>  new speakers showed up
  <mjew1>  gotta figure out how im gonna wire them up
  <bunni>  you put + in to +, and - in to -
  <mjew1>  i know that
  <bunni>  dont mix them up, otherwise the audio would be
  backwards
  <mjew1>  fuck you
  <bunni>  :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651676
text:
  *The topic is 'English Language ONLY! That means no German or
  other Germanic, French or other Romanic, Latin, Leet, Spanish,
  Portugeese, Croatian, Binary, any Nordic or Slavic or Turkish
  or Klingon or any animal Language! No Singing! No inventing
  new languages!' (set by drt_foksie)*
  <drt_foksie>: if anyone manages to find a loophole in topic
  now, im banning him.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651725
text:
  <C@^^31> data mining is a lucrative business, my uncle founded
  Datatown over near Silicon Valley back in '49
  <C@^^31> died of the 01001lung


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651815
text:
  *** Z is now known as Zfuckinherself
  <Zfuckinherself> brb
  <Fr0gFucknBwanasMom> hmm
  <Fr0gFucknBwanasMom> either she's masturbating, or signing up
  for a Capital One Visa card


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651863
text:
  <geekster> mossibly
  <geekster> that's most poccibly, but it went thru a horible
  translation from brain to fingers
  <geekster> ARSE!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651926
text:
  <TheMage> xfiles was good
  <TheMage> best one for a while
  <Pupazz> xfiles? Fuck that got gay so fast.
  <TheMage> Pupazz: it's not as good as when they had mulder,
  but it's still good
  <Pupazz> TheMage: Actualy, I was gay BEFORE mulder left....
  <D_Radio> you were gay?
  <Pupazz> .....
  <Pupazz> Fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.651974
text:
  <Avatar> teenyboppers rule
  *** Avatar was kicked by ChanOP ([Sphinx45] britney says hi)
  <Tamgerine> Martin, I've seen you car-dance to Britney ...
  case closed.
  <Sphinx45> i can like britney and not be a teenybopper!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652024
text:
  <DrBadAss>Lessee... the Republican party is in disarray,
  divided by an offshoot reactionary group, spearheaded by men
  who pander to the least common denominator and say and do the
  most ridiculous things imaginable, directly flaunting the
  Constitution, and proving on a daily basis they're incapable
  of compromise, and that their only goal is to take down their
  opponent at the expense of the country's welfare and proper
  operation.
  <DrBadAss>  We Democrats have a CLEAR shot at this.  It's
  going to be really interesting to see how we go about f#@%ing
  it up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652092
text:
  <Runter> If I ever become ruler of the world
  <Runter> I'm going to hold huge "Where's Waldo" contests
  <Runter> Dress one guy up as waldo and put him in a crowd of
  like 1000 people
  <Runter> and get people from helicopters to try to find him
  <Runter> to win they have to shoot him
  <Jay> Why would you have to shoot him?
  <Runter> Because I've always wanted to fucking kill waldo. I
  mean seriously who doesn't fucking hate him?
  <Jay> I don't
  <Runter> Well then, do you like dress-up?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652144
text:
  <FireFox> asshole
  * FireFox was kicked by Reaper (i dont like your mouth)
  <Reaper> ...
  * bob sets mode: +b *!*@3AD5BC55.8E488FF8.273333E5.IP
  <Reaper> ...
  <Reaper> wait no i didnt kick him!
  <Reaper> that was a /me!
  * Reaper was kicked by bob (your no longer welcome in this
  channel)
  <FireFox> haha
  <FireFox> oops


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652235
text:
  * Riven will give head for broadband
  <Riven i wish someone would service my area ;-;
  <Riven> .... that didn't come out right
  <Riven> but now that i mention it ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652287
text:
  Quension | in other news, I actually had a user read my away
  message (which was "idle")
  Quension | unfortunately, there was a problem
  Quension | <crizza> ctc
  Quension | <crizza> asl plsssss.
  Quension | <crizza> wat's idle
  Quension | <crizza> i cant umderstand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652333
text:
  <Death555Die666> im throwing a huge suicide party, care to
  join? :P
  <soloc831> oh really? so when they say "this party really
  died" they wont be kidding


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652380
text:
  <Rory> I once saw on an import Gundam toy "Dont break steamy
  translucent fabric or new one will come"
  <Rory> wait that was a pack of Japanese condoms


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652428
text:
  <Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read
  all the articles online...
  <Soda_Tab> period.
  <spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you
  to read on the shitter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652490
text:
  <SA-Magic> urgh, need food, but too tired to bother
  <SA-NiteFox> Shake your keyboard upside down over your mouth.
  <SA-NiteFox> It's kept me alive all these years.
  <SA-Magic> nah, its ful of dirt and pubes
  <SA-Magic> im not eating myself, so to speak
  <SA-NiteFox> Okay, I do not want to ask how they got there...
  <SA-Thrillias> Full of... pubes?
  <SA-Magic> uhk, the dirt is jsut from usage
  <SA-Magic> not MY pubes, surely
  <SA-NiteFox> EVEN WORSE!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652534
text:
  <Celestar> note to self: Next person who wants to talk me into
  buying his firewall by telling me that my computer broadcasts
  an IP address will be ball-hung


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652582
text:
  * BlueDust shudders as u tuch her wet pussy
  * Voice-From-The-Toilet beats Seaker up with a power tool
  * BlueDust (shicchic@sg-33877.mweb.co.za) has left #5fm
  <Seaker> BWAHAHAHAHAHA
  <Voice-From-The-Toilet> heya blekwissird
  <Seaker> Bluedust obviously had the wrong window open for that
  1
  <Seaker> wahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652673
text:
  <Guest> how big is the internet?
  <xmaddness> Well if you go too far you'll fall off the end of
  it.
  <Guest> really?
  <xmaddness> Yep, some people call it IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652789
text:
  <YowYow> whatsupi my niggers
  <cse> And I even got on IRC and told eric when it happened heh
  <YowYow> heh
  <pb> <YowYow> ewoao aoe aoe owo ap ifp ie jan fpa aepi a efajp
  <pb> that makes just as much sense man
  <YowYow> mike btw
  <YowYow> i have a mp3 u shoud listen to
  <YowYow> its not done by me
  <YowYow> but
  <YowYow> not copyright whatsoever
  <Ed> an*
  <Ed> you*
  <Ed> it's*
  <Ed> copyrighted*
  <Ed> etc..
  <YowYow> ?
  <Ed> -_-
  <pb> ahahahhahhaha
  <Ed> ah
  <Ed> should*
  <Ed> fuckin missed one -_-


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652834
text:
  <Eck> British Prime Minister: I hope this can signal a
  reconciliation and a unity of the Iraqi people meaning freedom
  and hope for the people against whom the atrocities have been
  committed etc.
  <Eck> American Guy: WE GOT HIM! YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652887
text:
  <Sonya> 14/f/nj
  <rewben> oh
  <rewben> im 54/n/netherlands
  <Silvana> what's n?
  <elph> i guess n is for nice ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652935
text:
  <cryterion> hooker fucking is an art.
  <cryterion> you have to be able to do it with one arm up
  <cryterion> and shave her pubes
  <cryterion> while doing your business through shaving cream.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.652983
text:
  <retry> i miss bathing in hot springs
  <retry> in japan that's something you can just do whenever you
  feel like it
  <fuckyou> except they call it bukkake


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653036
text:
  <Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet
  <Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights
  movement yesterday
  <Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with
  "In conclusion, all your base are belong to us."
  <Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653096
text:
  <XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the
  great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
  <TheGreatHio> manoower?
  <XtG|HW> manoower
  <TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
  <XtG|HW> no
  <XtG|HW> manoower
  <TerraxNovae> WTF is that
  <XtG|HW> poop
  <XtG|HW> manoower
  <TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH   MANURE!
  <XtG|HW> shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653137
text:
  ::: Joins: STRAUSS
  (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca)
  (STRAUSS) hey how do i change my quit message
  (@Seriph) /quit message
  (STRAUSS) ty
  ::: Quits: STRAUSS
  (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca): Quit: message
  ::: Joins: STRAUSS
  (Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca)
  (STRAUSS) ban Seriph!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653190
text:
  <Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red"
  quotes on bash.org?
  <Matt> They're cool, that's what...
  <Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP,
  YOU FUCKING JEW


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653236
text:
  * scotteh sends a letter to mister bin ladem... with some
  white power in it
  <arto> white power????
  <arto> YOU RACIST
  * goofie rolls her eyes
  <scotteh> POWDER!$!@@


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653286
text:
  <BurntAsh> you know what was funny
  <BurntAsh> when aalyiah died
  <BurntAsh> man i hated that bitch
  <BurntAsh> she wont be dusting herself off and trying again
  anytime soon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653339
text:
  <BobbyJenkins> Any GLBT fellow Scots going to the Pride Scotia
  March at the end of this month in Edinburgh?
  <Sensationalism>  I take it you are going? If I go to any
  Pride events this year, it'll be my first. I'm excited!
  <BobbyJenkins> I was going to but I found out I've got work.
  <Lost-Chances> Call in gay.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653387
text:
  <@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9
  <@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima
  bottles


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653431
text:
  <Sheep> Cat owners - Do you ever find that you're stroking
  your cat and suddenly everything feels like a tasty chicken
  dinner?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653478
text:
  [Yaksha] We call this kids' mom 'Mapquest'
  [norris] why's that?
  [Yaksha] She has multicolored veins visible all over her body,
  looks like downtown Phoenix.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653533
text:
  <Chyno> Oww...I was wanking so hard I got cramp in my leg.
  <Critíc> Fascinating.
  <Chyno> I thinked the guy liked it though.
  <Critíc> ....
  <Critíc> I don't think anybody saw that coming.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653575
text:
  <Rev> Oh man.  I just found my Classic Queen CD, but I also
  tripped and hit my face on a filing cabinet so the last few
  minutes have been a real mixed bag.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653627
text:
  <Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations,
  you are less of an idiot now."
  <Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian"
  attached to an asterisk or something too?
  <Morbii> :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653692
text:
  <StreetPsychologist> Wow I just met a chick online who lives
  about 10 miles from me.
  <punkpet> and her name is ted
  <StreetPsychologist> NERD SEX!
  <punkpet> create some nerdlings
  <punkpet> when he's born it will be the first and last time he
  sees female gentalia
  <StreetPsychologist> Our geographical proximity is making me
  thing MARRIAGE already.
  <punkpet> lol
  <phenobarbital> you might even take a shower today
  <HellKat> no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have
  children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent
  keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653737
text:
  <Zanshin> Ignitor: you have to be on malt liquor to fully
  appreciate it. To the average american negro, slightly buzzed
  on malt liquor and dazed by the media stimulus of sports and
  bigscreen TV.. The phone, and the ability to communicate, even
  in the typical monosyllables of the subculture, is a complete
  novelty. Thus, the "wazzup" commercial represents the wonder
  and happiness that a group of young negroes finds in using the
  technology


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653842
text:
  <MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion
  when i fart
  <MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
  <mrwhite> hahahahhaha
  <MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
  <mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
  <MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
  <MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience
  here


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653891
text:
  * |SiN| yawns.
  * Asfand_Yar has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net
  irc.freenode.net)
  * mattsteg|mobile has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net
  irc.freenode.net)
  * paq_ has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * sleep|761 has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * |SiN| has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * Tang has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * rasp has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * hack|afk has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * thorak has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * Jim_ has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * kampf_wk has quit IRC (niven.freenode.net irc.freenode.net)
  * hack|afk has joined #2cpu
  * Asfand_Yar has joined #2cpu
  * mattsteg|mobile has joined #2cpu
  * paq_ has joined #2cpu
  * thorak has joined #2cpu
  * rasp has joined #2cpu
  * Tang has joined #2cpu
  * kampf_wk has joined #2cpu
  * |SiN| has joined #2cpu
  * Jim_ has joined #2cpu
  * niven.freenode.net sets mode: +oooo hack|afk kampf_wk |SiN|
  Jim_
  * sleep|761 has joined #2cpu
  <DracoDanMP> wow sin, you must have some nasty, nasty breathe
  <DracoDanMP> you just blew half the channel away with a yawn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653945
text:
  <schnorks> OFFICIAL ATOMIC TIME: 11:41:28PM CDT
  <Sigma> OMG schnorks has the A-BOMB
  <schnorks> No, the atomic time has nothing to do with weapons
  of any sort.
  <Coco13> schnorks is correct.
  <Coco13> The second is based on the wavelength of a particular
  atom.
  <schnorks> What about the first?
  <Coco13> You are such a fucking whore.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.653984
text:
  asjk] !list
  [asjk] anyone know a good open ftp?
  [ck1] 127.0.0.1
  [asjk] need a userid/pw
  [ck1]anonymous
  [bluerose] oh come on give him the good account
  [ck1] :)
  [bluerose] l: hax0r
  [bluerose] p: 31337
  [asjk] thx


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654032
text:
  <crushed-out-girl> lucky that my breasts are small and humble
  <crushed-out-girl> so you dont confuse them with mountains
  <sod-off> what does that have to do with fisting?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654125
text:
  <bigPIMP> are you a virgin?
  <kink> yes
  <kink> giving it up to a non-linux using chick is like giving
  it up to a man, just wrong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654177
text:
  <gleep> Damn.  The internet must be screwed up.
  <gleep> You know there's something wrong when you can't
  download porn.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654229
text:
  <|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
  <|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
  <|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
  <|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
  <|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet -
  Priceless


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654274
text:
  <Brentai> "Quake traps children in Italy school, 3 die"
  Something needs to be done about those violent video games!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654360
text:
  <Powerlord> You mean... you can save your game in ff7pc? And
  all this time I've been leaving my computer on all night!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654415
text:
  <popemichael> I'm thinking about drinking a little tonight
  too. It might make my pain pills work better.
  <jamie> Isn't there a "do not take with alcohol" warning on
  your pill bottle?
  <popemichael> It's okay, I took it off.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654458
text:
  BoobiePatutti> My mom is now telling me what Hobbits do with
  their feet at night.
  BoobiePatutti> Feeting.
  BoobiePatutti> Like fisting, only with their feet.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654504
text:
  <TokenBlackGuy> my friend and i were writing l33t notes back
  and forth in spanish class and our teacher caught us and was
  like "im gonna read this to the entire class" and stopped and
  was like "are you two writing in tounges?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654551
text:
  <Kron-Away> iam an accountant
  <Kron-Away> 1,2,3,5,6,9,10
  <Mr_Squidgy> kron what comes after 10 :P
  <Kron-Away> my 15%


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654597
text:
  renol07: yo whats up
  renol07: yo what up
  renol07: what happen yo click
  wryterra: "what happen yo click"? what the hell is that?
  wryterra: I'm afraid I don't speak moron.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654641
text:
  <_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
  <jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654686
text:
  *** IRC -- Based on the original code written by Jarkko
  Oikarinen
  *** Copyright 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991 University of Oulu,
  Computing Center
  <Jarkko> You people have turned a cute little project I did 5
  years ago INTO A TREMENDOUS WASTE OF TIME!!!  GET A LIFE!!!
  MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT!!!  You, with the bot...
  have you ever kissed a woman?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654734
text:
  <Satori> I read this book once, yeh, about this guy named
  claude who hooked up with this young gal who got pregnant and
  it wasn't his kid, but she said it was the result of getting
  raped by a supernaural being so he was cool with it so he
  packed the old girl up and headed off to pay taxes on her ass
  so's she'd be legal like... but shit happened and she wound up
  birthing the brat in some shit-filled barn so the shepherd
  brought in myrhh and frankincense


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654793
text:
  * LordMadOne dreams of his soon to be girl
  <eMEraLdwPn> you talked to her at all recently?
  <LordMadOne> no :(
  <eMEraLdwPn> call her
  <LordMadOne> I got a poem for her too
  <LordMadOne> I have no phone
  <eMEraLdwPn> well that sucks..
  <eMEraLdwPn> get arrested and make her your one phone call!
  <eMEraLdwPn> now that's romance!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654890
text:
  <@Afterglow> what's the point of irc anyway
  <@Afterglow> everyone idles
  < destruct> the "point" is that if you take the third word
  spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third
  person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a
  description of the path to the lost city of atlantis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654944
text:
  <davidr> w00t! I installed a camera and a monitor ... the cam
  points at my door so I don't have to turn my head to see if
  somebody opens the door
  <iku> ;D
  <davidr> and now I'll start recording everything so I don't
  even have to listen to my family, I'll just watch it when I
  have time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.654997
text:
  <KainSularei> I wish that it was possible to edit car honks
  <KainSularei> sometimes someone tries to cut me off, but i
  always see it coming and speed ahead of them
  <KainSularei> So I'm thinking I get some LOTR Gandalf bumper
  sticker on my back bumper
  <KainSularei> I'd like to be able to hit the steering wheel
  and have them hear this booming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as I go
  by


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655037
text:
  britt: And that the only reason we PMS is because our uterus
  is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a
  baby.
  britt: and it makes us angry.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655100
text:
  <Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
  <Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
  <Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
  <Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
  <Neji-Sama> FUCK!
  <Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
  <JapanAir900> ...
  <Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655188
text:
  <senorperrito> jesus christ my moms a n00b
  <senorperrito> she walked into my room and asked what i was
  doing and i told her i was burning CDs
  <senorperrito> she was like do you want me to open a window so
  u have ventilation?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655229
text:
  CaptainRonfornow: How do you  spell idal correctly
  CaptainRonfornow: that it right idal
  Sylas Cren: idol?
  CaptainRonfornow: yeah thats right
  Sylas Cren: heh
  CaptainRonfornow: i am making a folder of people who are idol
  or on phones.. cause i dont want to talk to them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655276
text:
  <mode> during cyber sex you quiz your partner to see how
  intelligent they are
  <HOTTIE_309> ok
  <HOTTIE_309> quiz me
  <HOTTIE_309> quiz me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655319
text:
  [arkZZZ   ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of
  divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be
  found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do?
  [Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec?
  [arkZZZ   ] fkn? where?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655427
text:
  <Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the
  privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a
  bath, and watch the spice channel every day
  <Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their
  fridge
  <Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put
  corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655472
text:
  <ManInBlack> I swear to god, the next person to submit a "best
  typo ever" quote is going to get garrotted with a cat5 cable.
  We get it, you suck at typing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655521
text:
  <Raize> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?top
  <Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time
  <jaguar> !quote
  <jaguar> !add quote
  <jaguar> how do u add!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655700
text:
  *The_Loser_ I'm sorry, lol, but it's just my opinion that the
  rest of Canada does nothing but make Quebec look bad. Canada
  sucks. Quebec is cool.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655754
text:
  <tsb^blah|fx> beer will get you laid everytime
  <tsb^blah|fx> maybe not with an attractive woman
  <tsb^blah|fx> or maybe not even a woman at all
  <tsb^blah|fx> but you won't know the difference


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655800
text:
  <shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on
  Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
  <shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655848
text:
  <jade> don't become one of them
  <jade> geeks = evil
  <jade> except as sex slaves.
  *** jade was kicked by Pita (be nice to geeks. They make IRC
  possible.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655892
text:
  <+far2stoned> that reminds me, bought a book when i was in
  china last year, called How To Woo, thought it might help me
  with my seduction techniques
  <+far2stoned> turns out it was volume 2 of the chinese phone
  book :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655948
text:
  <mrphilez> how many inches is 69mm?
  <GLHTurbo> let me measure my penis
  <Avram> how would that help? you have a 69mm penis?
  <GLHTurbo> yes
  <_neil> 69mm = 6.9cm = 2.71"
  <GLHTurbo> yes i do
  <GLHTurbo> oh wait


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.655991
text:
  <Afkfuckingselfinass> if i run fast enough backwards my
  exploding ass-flesh could act as a lubricant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656046
text:
  <ChaoSynergy> BODY MASSAAGE!
  <ChaoSynergy> Where'd that extra 'a' come from
  <narunet> My ass
  <axiel> you mean your ss


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656092
text:
  <Krayzie> i rememeber in grade 11 we had to buy gifts for ppl
  in school, i got a girl a can of slim fast
  <Krayzie> what was mean when i showed ppl a polaroid of the
  ripple running up her ass when i slapped it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656142
text:
  <muted> i dont like slackware
  <Zephyrous> muted: what are you on?
  <Accipiter> Zephyrous >> Crack, apparently.
  <muted> suse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656194
text:
  <Cannibal> god damnit
  <Cannibal> no one wants to play monopoly with me
  <Cannibal> i need to stop getting mad at people and stabbing
  them when i play that game
  <Cannibal> gives me a bad rep
  <Hellise> lolll


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656249
text:
  <Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on
  the shitter.
  <Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
  <mmm> gross
  <Kaff> how is that normal.
  <Kaff> who does that
  <Kaff> I WANT NAMES
  <Kaff> (and numbers)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656300
text:
  <Chucklez|afk> sweet merciful jeesus
  <Chucklez|afk> smells like melting plastic in my room
  <Ranged> you called?
  <Chucklez|afk> I said sweet merciful jesus... not hey dumb
  little punk bitch
  <Ranged> oh
  <Ranged> my bad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656343
text:
  ? jimmy/#hadm ----- jimmy's work productivity rating as of
  2:21PM --------
  ? jimmy/#hadm 0% | --------------------------- | 100%
  ? jimmy/#hadm   *- 0.01% (checked email)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656394
text:
  <FeralWolf> actually, many Canadians do mock the Columbia
  disaster
  <AriaStargazer> Pff
  <AriaStargazer> they're just jealous because
  <AriaStargazer> the closest thing they'll ever have to a space
  program is the annual beaver tossing contest


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656486
text:
  <Nugget94M> I remember when my mom first got on the internet,
  about 2 years ago. She *almost* had it figured out.
  <Nugget94M> she managed to use a search engine, and found a
  web page she was interested in.
  <Nugget94M> so she printed it out, stuck it in an envelope,
  and _mailed_ it to me so I could see it too.
  <acidkill> Nugget94M: hehe, i guess she didnt know about
  email?
  <Nugget94M> she knew about email. it just never dawned on her
  that she could mail the url.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656575
text:
  (lawl_) i like my women how i like my wine, 5 years old
  (DevilsX) I like women the way I like my filesystem
  (DevilsX) FAT and 16


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656625
text:
  <+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world
  coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short
  while and already so many acronyms :-)
  <+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still.
  :-)
  <@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656671
text:
  <Looney> fucking alterego, cant end a sentence without a
  smiley
  <WarPiG> HI I HAVE CANCER :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656749
text:
  <Carlton> "listening socket" = 11,100 google hits. "passive
  socket" = 1,240 google hits.
  <Carlton> listening wins. :)
  <Carlton> We should just let Google make all our decisions for
  us.
  <_Bunny> Carlton: "gay" has 65,000,000 hits.  "straight" has
  14,300.000.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656807
text:
  <Dr_DOS> SURGEON GENERALS WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO IRC
  CAN CAUSE BIRTH COMPLICATIONS, BRAIN TUMORS, AND MAY CAUSE
  DEATH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656872
text:
  <Firefly> Time for my prayers:
  <Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
  <Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
  <Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
  <Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a
  phat pipe.
  <Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz,
  just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
  <Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z
  box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and
  wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd
  appreciate it.
  <Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever,
  4m3n.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656925
text:
  <Robyn> then we realised that james had fucked with the bunsen
  burner
  <Robyn> and set the lab on fire
  <Robyn> penis ensued
  <tempura> ...penis?
  <Robyn> panic
  <Robyn> PANIC
  <Robyn> shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.656986
text:
  <froggie> short lines are bad, mmmkay? please add to your
  short lines, to make them long. like this, y'see? long lines,
  good. short lines bad. pretty simple. I'm goint to beat you,
  acidblood. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THE BEACHES!
  <froggie> actually, I'll play volleyball with you on the
  beaches
  <froggie> I'll fight you online on IRC and DoD maybe one day.
  but either way, I'll fight you in a verbose and extended
  mannor so that I may be one step closer to that almighty long
  winning line! haha! madman? ME? of course, thankyou.
  <acidblood>





  Does this count as a long line?
  <froggie> no.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657035
text:
  <NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
  <rycool> ...
  <NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
  <NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657080
text:
  * Sotek would also like to know what the fuck anyone is doing
  raising six children. >_<
  <Ark> Sotek - Obviously not birth control pills.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657131
text:
  <Slicer> Its funny how the thought of sucking on a wet sock
  makes me feel sick to my stomach
  <Slicer> and the thought of sucking on a dick, disturbingly
  enough, doesn't.
  <Red> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657190
text:
  <@madCoder> i need to decide .. do i curl up and go to sleep
  and waste the rest of the day, or do i go to my 2pm class? :|
  <@Hatcher> what class
  <@madCoder> calculus problem section
  <@madCoder> i took calc in high school, got one of the highest
  grades on the exam last week :| do I really have to go? D:
  <@madCoder> its not even the real class
  <@madCoder> some grad student does a bunch of problems on the
  chalk board
  <@madCoder> if you let me keep talking, i'll convince myself
  that school sucks and hibernate till after spring break
  <@madCoder> ok then, that's settled
  * madCoder is away: sleeping, be back in a few weeks
  * madCoder is now known as madCoderhibarnating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657243
text:
  <bCc> Here are my Desperate Attempts To Get Rid Of AOL
  <bCc> 1) I hired and exorcist to get rid of AOL on my
  computer. It failed to work.
  <bCc> 2) I also buried CD's In holy water, the holy water
  evaporated but the CDs survived and now glow red...
  <bCc> 3) I pissed on my AOL CD's and returned them to
  AOL...They sent me a thank you note for the cologne
  <toc-> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657285
text:
  Jimmy: no  if you punched a care bare do you think it would
  shoot a rainbow out of its ass
  hooges: quite possibly
  hooges: or maybe sugar
  hooges: If that was the case, we could start a sugar
  plantation
  hooges: just breed carebears and punch them in the face and
  get the smurfs to harvest the sugar out of their ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657385
text:
  <AT-afk> fuckin dog just ate my mom's dentures
  <AT-afk>whoa is she pissed ()
  <AT-afk>i think so neway...kinda hard to understand her on the
  phone with them out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657439
text:
  <sekira> it was like 4 PM and my friends grandma msg'd him on
  aim
  <sekira> and she asked if he was still busy doing his
  homework.
  <sekira> I was really bored, so I went on his comp and said
  "wtf?" and she replied: "wait til five?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657490
text:
  <luna> okay okay, so it *probably* isn't going to snow, but i
  can
  <luna> imagine it!
  <roland> well, if we're imagining, i can imagine buxom women
  will fall
  <roland> from the sky like sexy hailstones.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657543
text:
  <Supachikn> square and sony are based in japan
  <Supachikn> and heaps of other game devs
  <Supachikn> and anime
  <Supachikn> and hot chicks
  <Supachikn> and rally cars
  <Supachikn> and nice motorcycles
  <Demigoat> and all night whale-meat buffets!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657607
text:
  <Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy.  so what?
  <Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/
  <Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are
  gay.  One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me
  feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy,
  so....boxers or briefs?" ...
  <Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither.
  womens"
  <Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now."   I
  then return with "Look, it's no secret.  I may be strong
  enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman".  He laughed and
  walked away
  <Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop
  creeping you out, is to out-do them.  :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657671
text:
  <dunce> We were doing shots of BBQ sauce at the anime con
  <dunce> Granted, that BBQ sauce also had vodka in it
  <dunce> And I hadn't eaten for 2 days
  <Nd> Weren't you there to like... er, what did you do there?
  <dunce> I was there to drink
  <dunce> And have fun with half naked girls
  <dunce> What... you think I give a shit about that anime
  stuff? :P
  <dunce> Didn't actually see any anime while I was there
  <dunce> I mean, I can watch it at home, didn't see what the
  big deal was


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657718
text:
  <PacerX> i made a kid stop crying today
  <bemyfreak> awww, how sweet
  <PacerX> i knocked him unconcious
  <bemyfreak> WHAT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657768
text:
  Tom says:  It got frightening quite a few times.
  Tom says:  Eh, it was a learning experience.
  Ash072 says: I see...do you still feel bad about knocking up
  the retarded chick?
  Ash072 says: hello?
  Tom says:Oh, sorry.
  Tom says:Which one?
  Ash072 says:  That's my boy...can't even remember all the
  retarded chicks he'
  Ash072 says:  he's slept with
  Tom says:  Hey, if they don't remember, neither will I.
  Ash072 says:  Thank god for that drug!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657814
text:
  <Nall> ...you know what's funny? I was expecting to hit my
  rock bottom a few minutes ago
  <Nall> And yet... here I am, talking about scribbling vaginas
  on my chest in order to spooge on myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657875
text:
  [15:30:32] ------- <miro> anyone remember the dot com
  explosion ads? "congratulations, you are 7662786493's visitor
  to this site, click this space to close this window and claim
  your prize

  [15:30:54] ------ <Magus> "If this is flashing, you've won!"
  [15:30:54] ---- <cortana> miro: if this banner is flashing you
  are a WINNER!
  [15:30:54] ------ <Kurin> "If this is flashing, you're a
  winner!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657921
text:
  <Ashen> fucking hell
  <Ashen> I just ate a paint chip I thought was a peanut
  <Ashen> shit how much l;ead do you think is in a sealant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.657970
text:
  <Jackknife> hey you eat jesus christ Every Communion
  <Jackknife> talk about Demonic Sacrifice.
  <Duloth> Hmmm?
  <Duloth> Only the Catholics are cannibals, Jack.
  * Jerec is expanding his worldly knowledge of Cooking
  <Jackknife> dave is catholic, duloth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658014
text:
  <CS13> I wanted to get one of my Jewish friends a present for
  the holidays. Just one. Not eight. And then it hit me. So, I
  got her one present and broke it into seven peices and gave
  one piece to her each day. And on the eigth day? BAM! Super
  glue.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658065
text:
  <StoneColdSpider> YAY IM FINALY BACK ON FFS!!!!!
  <k> worst 5 mins of your life eh scs
  <k> you missed
  <k> [16:30] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has joined #NV
  <k> [16:35] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has left #NV
  <k> ;p


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658118
text:
  <dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look
  towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
  <dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
  <dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
  <heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to
  dance.
  <heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing
  like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
  <heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like
  the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658164
text:
  <Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure
  produce a lot of it
  <gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone
  <gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658219
text:
  <@Phillip> so
  <@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the
  chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me
  <@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)
  <@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to
  <@Phillip> p is pi
  <@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk
  <@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658267
text:
  <DoctorRiff> darkNook> nope, no breast pumps in my purse
  <DoctorRiff> WAIT I MEAN
  <DoctorRiff> crap


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658319
text:
  <whitay> i just wanna kill mysql
  <whitay> myself*
  <heaika> that's an odd warning..
  <whitay> mmm stupid reflex typing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658417
text:
  <Posty> what is it about the lead singer from Garbage that
  makes me wanna fuck 'er 'til my willy falls off?
  <Threeboy> its cause she looks like a guy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658481
text:
  <Jermsnap> Seen the new projector cell phones? they project
  their screen on the ground or a wall with lasers, up to a
  20inch "screen"
  <danno> that sounds incredibly useless
  <Jermsnap> not at all, those screens are tiny, cant really do
  shit on em, now thats solved, also I believe it will make
  humans LOOK more futuristic.
  <danno> oOOOoh...
  <danno> it would make a little more sense to see that on a
  PDA...
  <Jermsnap> PDA phones, same thing soon
  <Jermsnap> I dont have a cell phone, but if I could project
  stuff on stuff, Id get one :)
  <Jermsnap> PDA's are usaeless to a loner like me, dun work, no
  friends, what the hell would I put on there?
  <danno> then what would you need a damn cellphone for?
  <Jermsnap> hmmm... good point
  <Jermsnap> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658625
text:
  <PACHUKA> I'm exempt from draft
  <PACHUKA> W00T
  <TonyD> PACHUKA: cuz you're borderline retarded?
  <PACHUKA> tonyd: no, because I'm unfing your mother, they
  don't take charity workers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658667
text:
  <pantherqs> i wonder what masturbation in the dark under
  strobe light with fluorescent paint on your penis and a black
  light would look like...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912849
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658722
text:
  <[X]> What the fuck? Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter
  "Apple". What the fuck is it with celebrities naming their
  kids weird shit?
  <Alex> I'm gonna name my kid Strawberries
  <bobik-> Alex, you a dumbass
  <Schwert> the kid will kill you ,Alex
  <Alex> true :(
  <[X]> It could be worse... when I was two or so, and living on
  an Air Force Base in Utah there was a family living on base
  whose last name was Cane. Their daughters were Sugar, Candy,
  and Nova.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658762
text:
  [Tyr`] What The Fuck
  [Tyr`] the dcc port range cant be bellow 1024?
  [Tyr`] bah!
  [roAm] oh god no
  [roAm] god forbid you have to use ports 1024-65535


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658814
text:
  <Jordan> You know.. this is going to sound silly, but I've
  always wanted to be Knighted by the Queen of England.. ever
  since I was a kid.
  <Jordan> says: because.. I figured it'd be the closest I'd
  ever get to becoming a Jedi.
  <Jordan> *nods*
  <jagyd> god save the queen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658862
text:
  <Daniel> maxi wants to unf her :D
  <Haggis> saying maxi wants to unf her isnt a big deal :)
  <Daniel> yer, but the fact that they live like 4 km from each
  other sweetens the deal :D
  <Haggis> pie...with maxi, if the chick was _ALIVE_ it would
  sweeten the deal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.658960
text:
  <forsaken1> Lesbians aren't sexy, in my opinion. I mean, if
  they're lesbians, I'm obviously not gonna get any, so why
  waste my time.
  <microkid88> forsaken1: lesbos make good porn
  <forsaken1> microkid88: But, it's a bunch of licking
  <forsaken1> microkid88: I can go to Baskin Robbins and see
  that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659011
text:
  <AgntBukk> I played grand theft auto 3 the other day.
  <spacetwin> how was it!
  <AgntBukk> I beat up some chick.
  <AgntBukk> and then I kicked her repeatedly in the head until
  she died.
  <spacetwin> haha
  <AgntBukk> so, all in all, I was happy with the experience.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659105
text:
  <xavas> so i was on the beach wearing my speedo's the other
  day
  <xavas> and some chick walks by and goes "u got a roll of
  pennies in there?!?!?"
  <xavas> so i says "yeah, want me to knock some cents into
  you?>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659163
text:
  <HondaRace> ask shok and how much I charged him for his clutch
  <HondaRace> ;)
  <Shok> no
  <Shok> i'm embarassed
  <poste> how much?
  <HondaRace> he sucked my dick
  <Shok> i felt used and dirty after
  <spicrx7> HR, he sucked mine for a stick of gum the other day
  <spicrx7> you got ripped off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659260
text:
  <BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's
  running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text
  smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load?
  <Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm"
  <BenS> You should be shot.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659321
text:
  <Bop|Kat> you know what they say about black guys!
  <Mondo> yeah
  <Mondo> they steal shit
  <Bop|Kat> shut up!
  <Bop|Kat> my dads black!
  <Mondo> im only screwin round :P
  <Bop|Kat> I was only kiddin too
  <Bop|Kat> My dad is white
  <Bop|Kat> he's an arsehole tho
  <Mondo> so he might as well be black ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659401
text:
  <Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME
  <Dogan> So my teacher's friend's friend or something
  <Dogan> She was dogsitting one day
  <Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the
  floor, right?
  <Nightryde> how embarrassing
  <Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to
  the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
  <Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it
  in a freaking SUITCASE
  <Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train
  through Chicago
  <Zeelot> oh mannnn
  <Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
  <Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
  <Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things"
  <Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE
  CASE
  <Nightryde> AHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659455
text:
  <Pete[z]> my mate gaz was trying to get a blowjob from this
  girl ok
  <Pete[z]> so, he dipp'd his nob in dip cheese at this party
  <Pete[z]> anyway
  <Pete[z]> so she sucke dhim off
  <Pete[z]> then her mother came home
  <Pete[z]> grabbed a biscuit
  <Pete[z]> and straight for the cheese dip


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659504
text:
  <Berzerker> i saw this black kid at my community college today
  with a programming cobol book
  <Berzerker> hahahah
  <Berzerker> whats a nigga gunna do with cobol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659571
text:
  <Beerman> I'm the top of the nick list
  <Beerman> therefore I am the tallest
  <Outsyder> i am in the middle of the nick list
  <Outsyder> therefore i am the belly
  <Beerman> does that make Sethur the naughty bits?
  <Sethur> Hmmmm.
  * Sethur is now known as Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr
  <Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> That's better.
  <Beerman> you're still at the "naughty bits" area of the nick
  list
  <Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> Yes. That's why I made my nick longer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659639
text:
  <n> i bet that game is gonna sell huge
  <n> just cause people will be like... ah well its only $20
  <faz__> well its fun, they deserve it
  <anathema> yeah
  <Stonefire[i]> now that n opened his mouth, it's gonna tank
  <faz__> haha
  <anathema> haha
  <koko> bahaha
  <Stonefire[i]> ya jinx'd it
  <faz__> sam sells 6 copies
  <n> oh yeah?
  <n> well in that case
  <n> i bet stonefire will get laid soon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659700
text:
  <Spazz> Those crazy Japanese folk!
  <@rtil> O_O
  <@rtil> Whats goin on dude
  <Spazz> Anti-cigarette protesters made a cig out of plastic
  and balloons.
  <Spazz> Like 50 feet long.
  <@rtil> WTF
  <@rtil> XD
  <Spazz> And they were gonna cut it with a katana.
  <Spazz> But the balloons were filled with hellium.  x)
  <Spazz> The explosion burned off eyebrows and beareds
  <Spazz> beards*
  <@rtil> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659752
text:
  <TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I
  started getting dressed before she could turn on the
  lights......
  <TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes
  on already, and she can't find her undies.......
  <TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
  <TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659799
text:
  <Tektrnica> i got roller blades
  <Tektrnica> they have orange on them tho :P
  <Tektrnica> fawking raverblades


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659843
text:
  <PGM> i thought they where all lame
  <Nastard> and since you are the barometer of lame by which we
  all calibrate our instruments, you would know


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.659974
text:
  <MegaDeth[Away]> hmmm
  <MegaDeth[Away]> I like WASTE
  <MegaDeth[Away]> WASTE is my FRIEND
  <MH2> More people need WASTE
  <Luigi30> I excrete WASTE into the TOILET.
  <MH2> no
  <MH2> That's waste
  <MH2> Not WASTE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660032
text:
  <sparc5> how does a guy become a porn star?
  <sparc5> that's what I wana find out
  <Rhelic> sparc5: have at least 8inches and 4inches girth
  <Rhelic> sparc5: and you usually pay them to be in the first
  few
  <eggo> or family business
  <sparc5> Rehlic: pay???
  <thinkmad> may you all catch this horrible disease and suffer
  <Rhelic> sparc5: its easy to find any guy to fuk some hot pron
  star
  <sparc5> damn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660082
text:
  <[56k]holtzboy> who hates metallica's st. anger cd? me me me
  me me
  <cockmonster> geez, 56kers, you even lag in real life
  <cockmonster> we all got done bitching about that CD months
  ago
  <Frenchman`> cockmonster, he just finished downloading it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660181
text:
  <jedix> Linus: and your arms are.. a) as big as twigs b) steal
  gurders c) the train itself
  <dwihno> I always keep it in my special handthingy when I run
  <jimperson> aha! a custom special handthingy! exactly what i
  need :)
  <Linus> jedix: they are huge! :-)
  <Linus> as are all hacker arms
  * Zagor tries not to laugh
  * Bagder giggles as he can't resist
  * jedix runs to the bathroom to not piss himself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660357
text:
  <JesseW> How do guys in porn last so long in bed? I can't even
  make it to the end while masturbating.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660448
text:
  Mike: I had a random thought in the shower just before
  Mike: I think I was still half asleep
  Mike: if you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of
  johnson's no more tears, would it create beautiful irony?
  Hopper: ROFL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660499
text:
  <+ [Frost2] > fuck theres something in my eye
  <psychicbug> frost got a cumshot in the eye
  <psychicbug> ...again
  <@ [ArtForz]> he prolly saw it cumming
  <psychicbug> hahaha
  <+ [Frost2] > you guys are sick k thx


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912859
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660597
text:
  <scabb> Sweden = Porn
  <scabb> Belgium = Chocolate
  <Squinky> I thought Switzerland was chocolate
  <scabb> Denmark = Bacon
  <scabb> France = Frogs
  <scabb> Germany = Sausages / Nazis
  <scabb> Switzerland = Cheese
  <Psitron> Holland = Gardening


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660644
text:
  <kinzillah> I'm going to build a random number generator that
  works, it will be a small mechanical device that shakes dice
  and then reads what number came up, then we will have real
  random number in computers, none of this seeding with the
  timer shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660690
text:
  <jeremy^> everything i know about genetics, i learned from
  beverly hills 90210 and other aaron spelling classics. :)
  <jeremy^> oh, and biology class
  <jeremy^> but i mean come on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660758
text:
  <TML> simon-: You're single, aren't you?
  <simon-> TML, yes, why?
  <TML> simon-: I can tell by the fact you think in terms of
  'TML->wife'
  <octatron> TML: would you have used TML['wife']? :P
  <TML> octatron: No. I'd use wife->TML


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912860
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660814
text:
  <Al-x> is cosmo magazine lying when it says all men crave a
  finger in their ass during sex
  <Hast> cosmo is all lies
  <TheShaun> it's designed to be sold to women who have no real
  interests in life but sex
  <TheShaun> it's like the feminist movement dropped down onto
  its knees and started sucking adam smith's capitalist cock.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660859
text:
  <NonHomogenized> ...I was young. I needed the money!
  <Stopper> ew...
  * Stopper hides Non from Michael Jackson
  <NonHomogenized> not that young


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660917
text:
  <i_am_pi> (pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would
  think it would be if you walked into an airport with a
  cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
  <i_am_pi> i love QDB./
  <i_am_pi> www.geekissues.org/quotes/
  <pedXing> i_am_pi: I believe it's a 2 year minimum sentence,
  but I'm sure they'd be laughing.
  <Kthulu> i doubt they'd find it funny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912861
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.660969
text:
  <Macko> helping out another customer with pc problems on the
  phone again today
  <Macko> after he gave me his specs i told him "hold on for a
  second"
  <Macko> three seconds later he's like, "ok, that turned my
  computer off"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661112
text:
  <Phettachu> cherry coke - letters at the end = herry cok  LOL
  LOL LOL
  LOL
  <Phettachu> GET IT HERRY COK?!?  HAIRY COCK?!?!
  <Phettachu> LOL
  <Phettachu> maybe only gays get it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912862
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661159
text:
  <Ac3d> i guess this isn't TOO bad..i mean it could be worse...
  <Ac3d> I only have to re-install my modem everytime i want to
  get on the net


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661206
text:
  ritilan: and in 2 years u can have your first drink
  Halo: Yeah, I cant wait!
  Halo: Because I've never had any alcohol before, honest.
  ritilan: i belive u
  Halo: Then you are gullible
  ritilan: yes well there is that too
  Halo: Because let me tell ya, I'm a pretty raging alcoholic
  ritilan: i find it helps to keep the voices in my head quite
  ritilan: at least i think it does
  Halo: I sing show tunes to myself in order to keep the voices
  in check
  ritilan: is bad when they all sing along
  Halo: Yeah, I just refuse to go along when they try that shit
  Halo: Then I yell "DONT MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912863
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661298
text:
  < pigeon> what does "half chest" mean when it comes to t-shirt
  measurement?
  <@raster> they had breast cancer?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661340
text:
  <WintrHawk> I fart a lot in my jeep so if thieves try and
  break in to steal something, the gas will repel them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661393
text:
  Nail: my chemistry teacher has bad grammar
  Traceur: how so
  Nail: princiPAL laws of quantum numbers
  Traceur: he put principle?
  Nail: no
  Nail: put principal
  Traceur: do yuo know the difference between those two wordS?
  Nail: yeah, principal is like the school administrator
  Nail: because he's your pal
  Traceur: 'principal' also means 'main'
  Traceur: a 'principle' is a concept
  Traceur: your principal failure comes from not understanding
  the principles of grammar.
  Nail: fuck you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661445
text:
  <Hybridfusion> i found out last week that if you see a big
  black man who works for BFI (garbage truck / pickup company)
  <Hybridfusion> dont ask him if BFI stands for "big fucking
  idiot"
  <Volte> did he say "why as a matter of fact it does and id
  appreciate if you didnt call attention to it thanks"
  <Hybridfusion> he threw a metal pipe at me and i ran like a
  motherfucker


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912864
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661493
text:
  <Kobe> http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ :: for all ur sex0ring
  n33ds
  <TMBomber> ow wheres the search by crime? u don't even get to
  know what they are in for :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661578
text:
  ramoth4: I can write the class and the functions for it
  ramoth4: and you can use the class to put them on the page
  CHz16: Ahh. So, you get backend, and I get frontend?
  ramoth4: hai, so desu
  CHz16: *hopes no one ever finds my last quote and interprets
  it suggestively*
  ramoth4: rotflmfao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912865
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661628
text:
  <TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the
  unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me
  she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now
  I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it
  over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so
  its right out there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my
  id number and my first name then say my last name. The
  secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now
  how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to
  bitch slap that moron.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661678
text:
  [02:17:43]   +wysiwyg sings "your no good for me i dont need
  nobody, dont need no one thats no good for me"
  [+wysiwyg] and if ne1 points out it should be "you're" ill
  kill em
  [@Miz] i'll
  +wysiwyg slaps Mr Pedantic with a flacid kipper
  [Sarcho] flaccid?
  [+wysiwyg] oh fuck off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661726
text:
  <syc> buddy of mine licked a motherboard once while the
  machine was running
  <syc> no problems
  <Skiz> I disagree
  <Skiz> your friend has problems


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661771
text:
  <KidHype> i have pole position emulated in my pants
  <KidHype> it asks my wife to prepare to qualify
  <TonyD> how unusual


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912866
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661827
text:
  <ckx> women ask for it
  <ckx> they act all old and mature
  <ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
  <ckx> and they get all bitchy
  <ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661879
text:
  <-- debutante has quit (This is for the guys who are
  mastrubating: LARGE BLEEDING ASSHOLE. (Hopefully that made you
  limp.))
  <Pixelated> limp !
  <Pixelated> that got me rock hard
  <hardlined> you too?
  <hardlined> Got a cam?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661923
text:
  <mommiebear44> so max....how long have you stopped smoking
  for?
  <|non_smoking_max|> let me see ....... about 1 hour 30 min ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912867
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.661970
text:
  <Mewten> video games are now making us nerds do things we
  would never do in other situations: Dance (DDR), Play an
  instrument (Samba de Amigo), and now, GO OUTSIDE. Pretty soon
  we'll be like normal people


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662108
text:
  <olaf> there's a retarded kid who picks up coins
  <olaf> well did when we went to high school
  <olaf> he would stop for even a penny
  <olaf> well, my girlfriend at the time had a huuuuge
  collection jar
  <olaf> and she brought it to school one morning
  <olaf> so we could put them all over the place
  <olaf> and we walked outside to where he was hanging out
  <olaf> and i pretended to trip and fall
  <olaf> right in front of him
  <olaf> and the coins went FUCKING EVERYWHER
  <olaf> but not only did he pick up all the coins
  <olaf> he would pick them up 1 at a time
  <olaf> every time he bent over
  <olaf> he was there for fucking EVER
  <olaf> and then my little sister and my friend zac
  <olaf> on one of the days i was suspended
  <olaf> superglued a fucking quarter and put it on the ground
  <olaf> and it got stuck to his hand
  <olaf> and he was swinging his hand around screaming in his
  tard voice
  <olaf> and, apparently
  <olaf> everyone and their god damned mother laughed for ever
  <olaf> yeah, i'm a shitty human so what
  <||bass> you're my hero


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662166
text:
  <gwend> my 6 key doesnt work half the time ><
  <Kiri> my CTRL key types a ` when i press it
  <Kiri> lol
  <gwend> lol
  <Kiri> and my numpad opens internet explorer
  <Kiri> or my computer
  <Kiri> depends on which number lol
  *** Kiri has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by
  peer))
  <EvilCouch> guess she pushed the wrong number


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912868
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662205
text:
  swansonmarpalum: I dunno
  swansonmarpalum: I do not think I would hang around someone
  who could not get hard and fuck me
  Sigma X: Wait
  swansonmarpalum: I mean if I was a chick.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662253
text:
  <jim_trim> How To Know If a girl likes you
  <jim_trim> ?
  <sarah> Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it
  feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662311
text:
  <asr> 'fo sheezy.
  <Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should
  understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it
  real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the
  language of the 'streets' as it were.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662367
text:
  <Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin
  at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell  tab
  down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
  submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
  all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
  loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
  sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
  fetish gayporn.
  <Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
  gay... it owns


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912869
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662424
text:
  <msngchmbl> OH MY GOD
  <piardog> ?
  <msngchmbl> I JUST DROPPED MY XANAX INTO MY BAG OF LUCKY
  CHARMS
  <msngchmbl> FUCK
  <msngchmbl> IT'S THE SAME COLOR AS THE FUCKING SHOOTING STARS
  <piardog> it will be even more magically delicious now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662474
text:
  <Rjx> they really need to make formatting a laptop easier, for
  lazy people like me
  <Rjx> they could make them like etch-a-sketches
  <Rjx> you just turn them upside down and shake them
  <Rjx> and BAM, new install


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662518
text:
  <Ritz> I had the myspace so I could keep in contact with
  certain friends
  <Ritz> I decided I needed new friends


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912870
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662568
text:
  <Robotzombie> love is never having to say I wish you didn't
  have a nutsack
  <Robotzombie> well, maybe it's not


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912871
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662616
text:
  <goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
  <blah> i refuse to anwser that
  <blah> im probably wrong
  <goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662664
text:
  Stranger: I'm Mary. What's your name?
  You: Eric.
  Stranger: So, Eric, where are you from?
  You: USA, you?
  Stranger: China
  You: Your name is Mary? That's not a Chinese name.
  Stranger: My Chinese name is Xiong Chaofeng.
  You: Alright, Mary it is...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912873
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662718
text:
  <Cducharme> My clock be off bigtime
  <Cducharme> k
  <Cducharme> fixed
  <Ash> Same here, but I'm going to try to get a doctor to look
  at it when I scrape up some cash.
  <Ash> Oh, clock.
  <Ash> N/m.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662805
text:
  <O_6> my helpful nature gets me into many a snag
  <MadMan37> so does your weakness for pic-a-nic baskets


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662855
text:
  <Al-Koholik> hm
  <Al-Koholik> I have a taste for violence
  <Al-Koholik> IE quake 3
  <LuisX> Internet Explorer Quake 3?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662906
text:
  <ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
  <Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
  <ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
  <Gino> Oh how rite i was


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912874
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.662952
text:
  <midi> I wonder how hard it'd be to piece together clips from
  hogan's heroes into a mentos commercial.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663041
text:
  <Tal> Psh
  <Tal> Our chem teacher said it didn't really matter how we
  titled the graphs and tables in our semester prac
  <Tal> but i still lost marks for having a Table of +2 Undead
  Slaying and Graph of Destiny :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912875
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663091
text:
  *** Joins: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)
  <Xelix> Greetings.
  <Xelix> I am Dan, Jedi Knight.
  <Xelix> I have come to discuss something with any of you.
  <Xelix> I shall return at another time.
  *** Parts: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663142
text:
  <+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
  <+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
  <+ApEtc> Remove it
  <+llamaInAbox> the eye?
  <+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663188
text:
  <C4> I overclocked my mousepad.
  <tminos> thats nothing, I have my waterbed OC'ed, now I only
  have to sleep for two hours a night


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912876
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663232
text:
  <Tac0> theyre fucking with you, the real way to get to it is /
  quit im a fag
  * Quits: Boo_urns (Quit: Tac0's a fag)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663332
text:
  <Stiffler> How's it going.
  <FlyNavy> eh
  <FlyNavy> been better
  <FlyNavy> pretty much out of resin to smoke...
  <FlyNavy> and I still don't have:
  <FlyNavy> a job
  <FlyNavy> a car
  <FlyNavy> money
  <FlyNavy> weed
  <FlyNavy> or pussy
  <Stiffler> So basically...
  <Stiffler> It's all the same.
  <Stiffler> ROFL
  <FlyNavy> I need a job so I can get a car so I can have money
  to buy weed
  <FlyNavy> which I'll then use to get pussy
  <Stiffler> Indeed
  <FlyNavy> which'll then need to be maintained by a job
  <FlyNavy> which to get I'll need a car
  <FlyNavy> and for that I need money
  <Stiffler> But you see, you first need the pussy to get the
  weed to get the money to get the car to the job..
  <FlyNavy> so I could try selling weed
  <FlyNavy> :D
  <FlyNavy> exactly...if I had some pussy, she could tell me
  where to get weed to I could sell it to buy a car to get a job
  to maintin the pussy that I'll get with weed which I'll buy
  with money left over from buying a car that I earned at my job
  <Stiffler> Indeed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663377
text:
  <ruumis> this bitch I used to fuck with added me to her
  friendster list... what is my testimonial supposed to say for
  her? "gave good parking lot head. needs to talk less."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663422
text:
  <VanWilder> god i used this massage oil on this chick last
  night and now my room wreaks of it
  <nivenh> were you massaging "her" penis?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912877
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663467
text:
  <netw3rkd> i was going through my parents dresser and found a
  sock full of weed and took some
  <netw3rkd> oh shit my mom is behind me
  *** netw3rkd has Quit (Connection reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663511
text:
  <dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email,
  and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.  Now I have
  500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to
  reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663559
text:
  <Tomboy> You know that you have watched too much porn when you
  start to recognize the dicks of the male pornstars.. "Yeah
  that's rocco's dick alright.."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912878
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663605
text:
  <Adiemus-Away> [GleebAway] Adiemus has returned from doing the
  dishes (Away for 1day 15hrs 23mins 39secs)
  *** Adiemus-Away is now known as Adiemus
  <Adiemus> damn that's a lot of dishes =


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663652
text:
  <[J03Y]> What is the sound of one hand fapping?
  <Crabster> bullshit. what is the sound of one man unfing?
  <Genki--> there is no spoon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663710
text:
  <a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/
  pianist for a band for "funk music"
  <a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
  <a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
  <a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know
  your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
  <a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
  <Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
  <Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET
  ADDRESS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912879
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663807
text:
  <Drugdown> I believe when you die its just like before you
  were born.
  <Drugdown> ...nothingness.
  <Fleebis> Like when you empty your recycle bin!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663890
text:
  (|Robot|Bender): Kronos, so angry. So mad. so full of hate.
  Have a salad, a lite beer and take a nap.
  (jot): salad, lite beer? you want to make him happy, not gay


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912880
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663940
text:
  <KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm> have you ever thought what it would
  be like masturbating while in a teletubby outfit?
  <Fr00ggyzor> Which teletubby?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912881
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.663984
text:
  <booze> rice makes your dick gain strenght :p
  <Margarita> if you shove it in your dick, sure, booze


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664167
text:
  <thom> CTCP VERSION: DICKS 2.0 OS, 69 K OF FREE ASS SPACE
  <cstone> ALLOCATING PRICKS
  <rbw> AHLGUAHGLUHALGUHAGUHAGLUHAG  I SEEM TO BE HAVING A
  BUFFER OVERFLOW PROBLEM HERE PEOPLE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664206
text:
  (Serial) where can i buy speakers online
  (@NJD) www.speakersonline.com
  (Serial) australian
  (@NJD) www.speakersonline.com.au


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912882
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664250
text:
  <Saotome_Ranma> goc what would you say to me if I told you
  that I did your mom last night?
  <godofcows> you have herpes! :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664295
text:
  <MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
  <Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
  <Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664338
text:
  <sarahlee> got hooked on those stupid video chatrooms
  <deepcut> the kind where you see old guys jacking off into a
  sock and stuff ? :\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912883
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664387
text:
  <Darkness9> *wonders how many girls he could fit in a back
  seat of a car*
  <Zibzibzib> depends.. if you're in the car, none


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664482
text:
  <spacegirl> because i don't suck dick
  <P-Rex> how do your mates keep you from talking during sex
  then, kellie?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664579
text:
  * XellInBlack is now known as Xellchiri
  <BloodFromStone> No longer in black?
  <Xellchiri> No, still in black
  <Xellchiri> just no longer watching MiB
  <BloodFromStone> heh
  <BloodFromStone> New one, or the first?
  <Xellchiri> First
  <Xellchiri> I want to make my dad take me to see the new one
  tonight
  <Xellchiri> I figure it can be the new hotness to his old &
  busted


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912884
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664625
text:
  <Macphisto> You guys keep an eye out for Chromatics new
  oreilly weblog titled, "How the power of perl couldn't stop
  Macphisto from breaking my legs."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664679
text:
  <Supachikn> i'm on bash.org
  <Supachikn> FAMOURS
  <Supachikn> err
  <Supachikn> famous
  <Supachikn> ILLITERATE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912885
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664746
text:
  <opensoar> you know how my wife looks really young right?
  <jb> yeah - she looks about 15
  <opensoar> we'd been playing tennis and she was in little
  shorts and a t-shirt
  <opensoar> we went to a mall and i figured i'd embarrass her
  with a bit sloppy kiss..
  <jb> lol - you bastard!
  <opensoar> after i'd slobbered all over her, she pushed me
  away and shouted out "Ew! Dad! GROSS!"
  <opensoar> the whole place thought i was some kind of pervy..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664897
text:
  <Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my
  walls.
  <Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
  <Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
  <Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
  <Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
  <Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
  <astral> 'usually.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.664969
text:
  <dra-> hey shit eaters
  <insta> penis up in your face
  <insta> smacking your face
  <insta> you love it
  <dra-> ATTN GHEY NIGGERS
  <dra-> uh
  <insta> that picture was hilarious
  <dra-> uh sure
  <insta> it's nasty as hell but it doesn't bother me
  <insta> some people just aren't secure in their sexuality
  <dra-> i just promptly close
  <Minion> After reviewing the last 10 or 12 lines typed I've
  come to the conclusion that this channel is the intellectual
  center of the universe.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912886
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665011
text:
  (pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it
  would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box
  that said "BOMB" on it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665067
text:
  <Kitsa> I didn't know wtf he was talking about.
  <Kitsa> and why drunk ppl always think they have so much
  insight
  <Kitsa> OMG TRAIN POODLES TO RESCUE MINERS, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE
  THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!?!?!?!?
  <Kitsa> I MUST GET ON IRC AND TELL EVERYONE
  <Kitsa> WITH FREQUENT UPDATES ON HOW DRUNK I AM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665111
text:
  <GimpyMcsquibble>I wonder if there have ever been 2 30 yr old
  guys, both pretending to be gay young boys, who wanted to meet
  another gay young boy, and they met, and were like sheeit man


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912887
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665199
text:
  <Elfhelm> ya can never have to much coffee.
  <Elfhelm> the stuff is great for the soul
  <Spriggan|UT> just like heroin .... i mean church


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665280
text:
  <Javelin> Oh.
  <Javelin> My.
  <Javelin> God.
  <Javelin> We have a unit here.  It's about the size of a small
  speaker.
  <Javelin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA
  DESTROYER."
  <Javelin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks,
  "hey, what is this thing?"
  <Javelin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..."
  <Javelin> Next thing I hear:  *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE
  FUCK?!?!"
  <Javelin> Now they're pissed at ME.
  <Javelin> Because THEY couldn't read.
  <Javelin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use
  MY "DVD Polisher."
  <Javelin> I hate people.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665331
text:
  [19:45] <Rydberg> TI83+!
  19:46] <Moa2020> HP48 !!!!
  [19:46] <^JeppZer^> NOKIA!
  [19:46] <Moa2020> Nokia doesn't make calculators fool
  [19:47] <^JeppZer^> they got calculators on their phones.. DUH


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912888
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665377
text:
  <Admrlcrow> what are some good switches for extracting a rar
  archives on a linux box, i'm using unrar-3.1.3
  <pairo> Admrlcrow: -RTFM


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665436
text:
  * spacely sets mode: +o splurge
  <splurge> if only having ops helped me get chiqs
  <splurge> [sigh]
  <splurge> id have hoes fallin' out my ass!
  <splurge> (instead of the roaches I hide there so that my mom
  won't find them)
  <spacely> oh man thats why yer weed is always so shitty
  <splurge> you mean cheech and chong were wrong?  rectal
  storage doesnt make weed "good shit"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912889
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665570
text:
  (@icono) what is it your mad at?
  (NecroMort) women
  (@icono) all women or just the ones who won't sleep with you
  (NecroMort) same thing ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912890
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665627
text:
  <Lum_> From tomorrow through Labor Day, a U.S. holiday
  celebrated on September 3, jeans are fine for all non-customer
  situations, any day of the week.
  <Loafman> Now, is that black jeans or all colors?
  <Lum_> all colors
  <Xeen> I say we push this as far as it will go.
  <Lum_> I got some with no crotch
  <Soulflame> ...
  <Lum_> I'll wear those tomorrow
  <Xeen> Ok, so not quite as far as it will go.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912890
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665676
text:
  <BRAVESTAR> AOL HACKED ME NOW I CANT USE LOWER CASE
  <BRAVESTAR> THIS WILL FUCK MY UNIX SHIT UP
  <BRAVESTAR> -bash-2.05b$ LS
  <BRAVESTAR> -bash: LS: command not found
  <BRAVESTAR> FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665767
text:
  <Kortney> Actually, Linux users and atheists have a lot in
  common. At least, in my mind. There's no higher power (or help
  desk) to appeal to when stuff goes south, you've analyzed
  every component of the universe (because you compiled it), and
  you're fiercely evangelical while bashing evangelicals. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665819
text:
  <Papa_Wa> Anyone else struggling to login?
  <Udungoof> i'm struggling most of the time
  <Udungoof> not necessarily with loginservers though
  <Udongoof> life mostly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912891
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.665907
text:
  <tertyl> and i've bent a spoon with the power of my
  mind...though when the drugs wore off..it was back to
  normal...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666001
text:
  <Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains
  <Wallaroo> ?
  <Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end
  up playing with them anyway.
  <Placebo> hahahahaha
  <Placebo> ROFL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912892
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666058
text:
  <The-Jim> Next time I fly British Airways I'm gonna steal the
  little knife, fork and spoon, they're like 2/3rd the size of
  normal ones, gonna keep them in my bag.
  <xace> do it
  <xace> then when people try to make you use a spork
  <xace> be like
  <xace> FUCK YOU I HAVE MINI FORK, KNIFE, AND SPOON


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666121
text:
  <`Trivia`>  kq1.169. Swans are the only birds with?
  <`Trivia`>  1st Hint: *******   Question Value : 4 Points
  *** Joins: StupidFsh
  <oregvphf> attitude
  <JtHMx> Penises
  <oregvphf> ;)
  <`Trivia`>  YES, JtHMx!!!  got the answer ->  Penises <-  in
  11.697  secs, and gets  4  Points
  <`Trivia`> JtHMx has won  2  in a row!! Total Points this
  WEEK:  10  & this MONTH:  10
  <JtHMx> what?!?!
  <oregvphf> HAHAHA
  <JtHMx> I WAS FUCKING JOKING
  <JtHMx> TAKE THE POINTS OFF ME
  * oregvphf falls over


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912893
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666275
text:
  <razorjd1> But i know what's first person shoter better than
  any body here!!!!
  <razorjd1> why ppl think that 14 years old boy can't
  understand in computers???
  <razorjd1> what the fuck is ur prob, son tof the bitches???
  <razorjd1> i play UT all day and u say that i don't know
  what's first person shoter is???
  <razorjd1> i overclock since i was 10 so don't call me stupid,
  i understand in computers better than any one here.
  <razorjd1> Beware, or else i will hack to ur computer...
  <razorjd1> Fuck u all!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666323
text:
  <The831st> soy milk makes you gay
  <The831st> everytime i drink soy milk i cant help but think
  "man, i'd much rather have a dick in my mouth than this."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666373
text:
  <Mercster>   ever shot a Glock?
  <Eppy>   i don't know any glocks, but if they're like most
  people i've met, i probably wouldn't mind squeezing off a few
  rounds at them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912894
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666431
text:
  <kisama> !speedtest
  <orge> computer speed is 1125Mhz
  <claws03> lurking at 1364Mhz
  <SantaJes> s00p3r 4thl0n runn1ng 4t 1915Mhz
  <kisama> ticks: 148mhz
  <kisama> yeah.
  <kisama> fear me motherfuckers
  <orge> huh?
  <orge> ticks?
  <orge> i dont know whats lamer ticks or that 148 mhz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666481
text:
  <Jester> When will the queen name her Court?
  <Jester> Nudge, Nudge, wink wink....
  <Queen Alice> LATER MAN THESE CRUMPETS WON'T EAT THEMSELVES


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666530
text:
  <|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a
  bad time
  <Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666588
text:
  <InvalidUser> Its like my Uncle Eric used to say, he'd say...
  "IU, lookit
  the ass on that guy" To which I'd reply, "I'm not gay Eric",
  and he'd say
  "Oh yeah, sorry bout that" and we'd laugh and laugh. Then he'd
  try to
  molest me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912895
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666637
text:
  <bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
  <bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just
  gets her legs
  <bell-chan> BOOM
  <bell-chan> you see nothing
  <bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666688
text:
  Flaritter: "hit it" is an american term
  DrSpaZZo: Yes
  Flaritter: for examples: "I'd like to hit that"
  DrSpaZZo: Brits must have their own thing
  Flaritter: AND SO FORTH
  DrSpaZZo: Like
  Flaritter: ?
  DrSpaZZo: 'I'd dip my crumpet in her tea'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666745
text:
  <wormholes> Is it difficult to manage txt files like modify
  lines and copy rename and create new ones..with jsut std C
  libs?
  <NoEscom> no, it's not difficult
  <Noidea> yes it's difficult.
  <Noidea> It's almost impossible.
  <NoEscom> oh you mean MODIFY text files? on that case you have
  to download microsoft sql server


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666797
text:
  <Kimmo> I don´t know you
  <Kimmo> Are you good at something?
  <Otto[NS]> Yes
  <Kimmo> What?
  <Otto[NS]> Dames
  <Otto[NS]> *Games


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912896
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666856
text:
  <@HEMI> I got in a car accident on the way home from work.
  <@HEMI> I rear-ended someone.
  <@HEMI> Guy gets out of his car; I get out of mine. He's a
  dwarf.
  <@HEMI> We're sitting there waiting for the police to arrive
  and he goes, "I'm not happy."
  <@HEMI> I said, "so which one are you?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912897
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.666931
text:
  <cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night
  in a bar
  <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was
  gonna puke
  <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
  <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
  <emoti_conartist> lol
  <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
  <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors
  open
  <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
  <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
  <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
  <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh
  shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was
  sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit
  him first'
  <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
  <cassius_clay13> and runs away
  <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT
  EVER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912899
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667022
text:
  [kisama_] and no, amanda, my favorite monoply symbol is the
  cannon
  [Amanda_] Because it symbolizes all the high powered ass
  pounding you do?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912899
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667074
text:
  <SnowBlind> We need to get that professor who mutated Oranges
  to have THC, so that Bacon has THC.
  <^goat^> mmmmm potbacon
  <SnowBlind> GET HIGH WHILE YOU FRY!
  <LynchHung> lol
  <SnowBlind> We'll call it JAMAICAN BACON!
  <Gazoo> Oranges have THC?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912899
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667171
text:
  <Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
  <kibet> which is?
  <Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667272
text:
  <SMW> howdy Ian
  <SMW> how you doin tonight?
  <Ian_Sharpe> same as always
  <Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
  <Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
  <Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs
  that begin with the letter "L"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912900
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667317
text:
  <Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a
  marriage
  <Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover
  <Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667363
text:
  < _Maber_> "Hi, my name is perl.  Feed me an orange peel and
  some moldy bread, and I'll construct a 747 out of post-it
  notes."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667419
text:
  <Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
  <'Wraith> I take offense to that
  <Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
  <SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either
  :


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667470
text:
  [jbroome] mandrake 10.1 Community is available for download
  for the
  common folk now.
  [ jbroome] 'careful though, it's French
  [ admiralfrijole] damn frenchies
  [ jbroome] in installed SuSE on my network and the mandrake
  box
  surrendered
  [ admiralfrijole] sheesh...terrible
  [ jbroome] are you shitting me?  That's comedy gold right
  there
  [ fatstrat] ROFL!!!!!!!  love it!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912901
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667526
text:
  Steve: so, why don't you just have anal sex with your ex?
  Felix: I... can't afford that much lube?
  Felix: I don't like making girls cry?
  Felix: I don't like washing bloody sheets?
  Felix: I couldn't deal with someone shitting on my dick.
  Steve: well, technically..
  Steve: they're not shitting your dick, you're dicking their
  shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912902
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667616
text:
  <Nifty> Quick etiquette question: Should one make it a point
  to say goodbye to the people having a four-way in the living
  room, or is it best to slip out quietly?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667758
text:
  N e o N e s s 19:  i thought guns were bad
  N e o N e s s 19:  FALSE
  cleschc2:  dude
  N e o N e s s 19:  did you know that jesus and moses used guns
  to defeat the romans?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912903
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667874
text:
  <Temujin> aight
  <Hydrac7> it suprised me that Temujin would use "Aight"
  <Hydrac7> Temujin using "aight" has crushed my will to live.
  <Temujin> I live in Indiana, I have to fit in somehow.
  <Temujin> I can't fake being retarded, so saying "a'ight" has
  to suffice.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667919
text:
  <Stormscape> If computers get too powerful, we can organize
  them into a committee -- that will do them in.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.667968
text:
  <MightyBlueJustice> If Jesus would've been shot to death
  instead of crucified would christians wear jewelry with
  firearms on it?
  <K-Necrocide> It kinda makes you wish he was assraped to death
  with a big black cock.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912904
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668024
text:
  <darkpact> like i said man, stop smoking pot
  <darkpact> it's not good for your braincell :|
  <StarScythe> but its good for mah wellbeing
  <StarScythe> and i meakes me spel so darnn kool
  <darkpact> StarScythe, you should see a doctor ;(
  <Kronck> lol
  <StarScythe> yeahh dark maybe he can prescribe som good piils
  4 me so  i can get even more wasted ::D:D:DD:


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668072
text:
  <poste> hey, i am going to yell at this guy tomorrow at work
  <poste> he is middle eastern...what should i call him?
  <aNuBiS-> habib
  <DMC[jise]> call him hairy dirty dirty brown man of death
  building airplane sex


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668136
text:
  <MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F
  are the letters for bra sizes?
  <MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what
  the letters stood for, it's about time you were informed!
  <MattV> A- Almost boobs
  <MattV> B- Barely there
  <MattV> C- Can't complain!
  <MattV> D- Damn!
  <MattV> DD- Double damn!
  <MattV> E- Enormous!
  <MattV> F- Fake.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912905
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668177
text:
  [ LopeDogg ] u know warren
  [ LopeDogg ] he always talks about weed affecting him
  [ LopeDogg ] questioning whether it does or not
  [ LopeDogg ] then he said he went to muyi tai once
  [ LopeDogg ] stoned
  [ LopeDogg ] and took a piss
  [ LopeDogg ] then as he walked away from the urinal he wanted
  to flush it
  [ LopeDogg ] so he pressed his alarm remote
  [ LopeDogg ] then when it didnt flush he was like what the
  fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668268
text:
  <ZondrZout> You sloppy ASP coders!
  <Xtreee> ZondrZout, I am @ the stage where I am happy when my
  code works :)
  <ZondrZout> My boss is at the stage where he's happy when I
  work


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912906
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668322
text:
  <Sic> I seen a story about a guy who took the horse cock up
  the ass but it was angled so it pushed in all the way, he died
  from internal bleeding.. There was a whole video. :p
  <LLora> your ass is designed for poop
  <LLora> not for horse cock
  <antek> i wonder what the last thing going through his head
  was
  <antek> BESIDES A HORSE'S COCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912907
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668470
text:
  <toe2toe> See in the news that prince harry apparantly
  regularly picks up girls and takes them home
  <toe2toe> im just trying to picture that
  <toe2toe> *Whispering* "Be very quiet, i dont want to wake my
  dad.."
  <toe2toe> *shouting* "LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668606
text:
  <amit> there was a girl in my english class who had a lord of
  the rings bookmark. she looked at me, then at the bookmark and
  said "Bilbo's so hot!" and put it in the cleavage between her
  breasts.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668651
text:
  <Aoi-chan> everyone's first vi session. ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!
  qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912908
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668753
text:
  <%Hamtaro> I tried to register the AIM name "Your mother"
  <%Hamtaro> And got this
  <%Hamtaro> Create a Screen Name
  <%Hamtaro>
  <%Hamtaro> Sorry, Your mother is already in use


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668800
text:
  <the__man> does anyone know if any brothel is open at this
  hour? i need some action right away
  <+Octane> the__man: you've been blessed with two hands and ten
  fingers. go figure it out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912909
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.668856
text:
  <Flaze> forum still down?
  <Vye-rus> Check yourself
  <Vye-rus> We're not slaves
  <Flaze> yep
  <Flaze> still down
  <Vye-rus> haha thanks for checking for me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669003
text:
  <WrkEagle> Phalynx: Ah, but can you conjugate "Vodka?"
  <Phalynx> WrkEagle: Sure, the past tense is "money", and the
  future tense is "drunk"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669099
text:
  <Ki> HAHAHAHA I DID IT HAHAHA FUCKERS
  <Ki> I ASSEMBLED THE BED
  <Mellis> hmm?
  <Mellis> congratulations you're a level 2 Ikeamancer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912910
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669150
text:
  <jestuh>  But fans will have to wait a while for the maverick
  director to complete his bloodstained trilogy as he won't
  start filming Kill Bill: Vol 3 until 2019.
  <jestuh> wtf
  <edit_out> Is he going to breed actors for it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669202
text:
  <Vaun> need something good to read for like 10 min
  <Vaun> anyone have an interesting thread / link / etc
  <Dzza|Wants-SI> i once read a book
  <Dzza|Wants-SI> it was about a giant blob eating the school
  <Dzza|Wants-SI> but then a fat kid ate the blog
  <Vaun> anyone else?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669250
text:
  <Kury^> the other day i found out that my Uni's fire
  evacuation policy for ppl with wheelchairs is to 'push them
  into a room, close the door, escape and then give the room
  number to the firemen'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669296
text:
  <ILuvChitlins> listen buddy you had best stop trying to hack
  people with your script kiddie ways
  <ILuvChitlins> or someone might get pissed off and ban you
  from the internet
  <Arsvith> Remind me again. You know /how/ much about
  computers?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912911
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669339
text:
  Coff:We should bring rain ponchoes back. Problem Solved.
  Cyg:New Problem: I don't want to look like a homeless wizard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669428
text:
  <RichiH> i am also pretty sure that the a key on this keybord
  needs a slightly stronger push thn ll the other keys


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912912
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669468
text:
  (m-femme): my ass is too big for hotpants haha
  (m-femme): its my muscle...i have too much ass muscle..
  (m-femme): haha
  (doggie^): lol
  ([olly]): stop using it to talk then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669516
text:
  <|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can
  hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my
  girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I
  can't get it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912913
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669614
text:
  <matt> Can anyone help me solve a two body problem?
  <dsk> Id sink them in the ocean or feed them to pigs
  <dsk> but if you do the pigs make sure to remove hair and
  teeth first
  <matt> Umm i meant in physics...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669707
text:
  <kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
  <nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
  <kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've
  ever heard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669759
text:
  <Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
  <Gen|us> a black mans cock
  <ismell> you toenails ?
  <Booyah> crib death


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912914
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669807
text:
  sdrawkcab yekim: tomorrow i'm going to drink 10 gallons of
  water
  revmoo: why
  sdrawkcab yekim: i wanna see how long i can pee for one time
  revmoo1: that's it, I'm done with the Internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.669867
text:
  <sparkhost> report
  <sparkhost> are you alive ?
  <roman> :)
  <sparkhost> it might be zombies as well
  <sparkhost> is 1+1 = 2 ?
  <roman> false
  <roman> 1+1 = 3 use condoms
  <sparkhost> personality hash accepted
  <sparkhost> welcome Roman :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912915
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670009
text:
  <Winterhart> I just told my mom "AFK, I'm going to work"
  <Winterhart> She's like, "What?"
  <Winterhart> I told her it means "just so you know" in latin :
  /


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670125
text:
  <Gunslinger> The current version of Land Warrior had been
  intended for operational use in 2004. Although it has been
  much improved over earlier prototypes, the system was deemed
  unreliable  and unlikely to survive the rigors of combat.
  <Gunslinger> He explained that LW has three basic  assemblies,
  the helmet, the body and the weapons. The helmet assembly
  has a wireless antenna, a helmet mounted display and a helmet
  interface assembly. The body assembly has a GPS receiver, a
  navigation box, a 500-megahertz rugged com-
  <Gunslinger> puter operating Windows 2000, another smaller
  computer connected to the other PC and a voice-data
  communications control set.
  <Gunslinger> Their RUnning Windows 2K! HAHAHAHAHAHA
  <Gunslinger> We're so fucked...
  <Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> aroo?
  <KaiserPanda> lol!!
  <Takkie> good lord
  <Takkie> can you imagine?
  <Takkie> "Illegal operation"
  <Gunslinger> "Sir, I can't call in for Air support! Should I
  Ctrl+Alt+Del?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670177
text:
  <+Spazz> Oh, man.  I feel bad now.
  <+Spazz> I thought my cat had a scab on its belly.
  <+Spazz> So I've been picking at it.
  <+Spazz> Turns out, it's his nipple.  X.x


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912916
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670220
text:
  <Deth> dont drink open soda cans that are a week old
  <o|ooo|o|> not only was it flat, but it had a layer of dust


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670265
text:
  [00:15] <iMike> my name is on that
  [00:15] <Fustard> yeah well
  [00:15] <Fustard> i wrote your name all over my penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670318
text:
  <konfuzed> i'm at this lan party...
  <konfuzed> most of the others are downstairs, drinking.
  <konfuzed> now they've all got goatse as their background
  image.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912917
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670381
text:
  <Mac> Hi I'm a mac
  <PC> And I'm a PC
  <Mac> So what you doing PC?
  <PC> Upgrading my Graphics card, RAM and Processor.
  <Mac> Oh.... Ummmm
  <PC> Don't you just love a good upgrade!
  <Mac> Well actually, I can't. If you want to upgrade you'll
  have to buy a new system.......


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670502
text:
  <[SA]Mastiff> No.  You are underage, and should not drink.
  <[SA]Mastiff> Go back to playing with Legos.
  <MaryFuckingPoppins> I don't have any Legos =(
  <Rigel> Fuck you Mastiff, Legos kick ass
  <Rigel> I set them up as the OPFOR while playing with my Moses
  Action Figure and army men
  <Rigel> The Legos lost because moses had the Ark of the
  Convenant
  <Rigel> And just like in the Bible it shot lightning and
  stuff.
  <Rigel> And then the Army Men put the legos in a concentration
  camp and that was the end of the Third Reich
  <Rigel> And THEN Moses beat hitlers face in with the Ten
  Commandments
  <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Be a Faggotyass Dictator"
  <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Raise the Undead"
  <Rigel> "Thou Shalt not put foxy agents in skintight leather
  and give them silenced Sten guns"
  <Rigel> And then back into the Time Portal he jumped, taking
  the army men with him!
  <Rigel> I should film this shit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670559
text:
  <coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl
  <coldacid> now when i piss
  <coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine
  <nover> damn that has to suck
  <coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner
  bubbles
  <keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid
  <coldacid> yes
  <coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing
  fresh clothing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912918
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670617
text:
  <Midvalley> Kinjin-Zero: mod your rio to add a wireless nic
  <Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): I could... using wi-fi, nice 54mbit
  connection
  <Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): but, it'd be no use with it in the
  car, and me upstairs
  <Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): easier to just plug it in on my
  desk
  <Midvalley> technology isn't about making our lives "easier"
  <Midvalley> it's about bragging rights


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670663
text:
  <jk-> hheh, back when I was on aol, I would go into chat rooms
  pretending i was a teenage girl with pictures, and when all
  the guys would ask me for them I sent em gay porn
  <DMC[arf]> i look at gay porn while drinking apple juice
  sometimes
  <datz510> i have some


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670707
text:
  <Sans_Scope> Oh no!  How will Macgyver escape this debacle?
  <+Shaezerus> Duct tape, chewing gum, and an orbital laser
  (made from duct tape and chewing gum).


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912919
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670746
text:
  (sean) OMFG
  (sean) dominos came
  (sean) and when dominos comes
  (sean) sean cums
  (BigRo2k2) ok, and what?
  (BigRo2k2) ok buddy
  (BigRo2k2) you are a little too excited for shitty pizza man


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670844
text:
  <HailBrak> me: "we should form a company that makes manly
  china patterns"
  <HailBrak> my friend: "i agree. i mean, how much success am i
  supposed to have when all the patterns are called "tender
  blossom" or some shit? i want one called, like, "Glock" or
  "Beer and Tits" or "Lets Burn Down Fucking Pier 1"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670930
text:
  * Dr_Dos|KLONE has joined #zeuxworld
  <Revvy> OH NOS
  <Dr_Dos|KLONE> How do I kill on esper?
  <EvilMario> ghost?
  <Revvy> msg nickserv kill
  <Dr_Dos|KLONE> I guess.
  <Zenholder> /quit <nick> <password>
  <Dr_Dos|KLONE> ok
  * Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
  * Dr_Dos|KLONE has quit IRC (Quit: Dr_Dos censored)
  <EvilMario> Hahah.
  <Zenholder> :D
  <EvilMario> You're the best, sir.
  * Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
  <Zenholder> :P
  <Zenholder> Did it work?
  <Dr_Dos> heh
  <Dr_Dos> Yes
  <Zenholder> Good
  * Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
  EvilMario)))
  <Zenholder> :D
  <EvilMario> Excellent.
  * Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
  <Dr_Dos> That's not right...
  <EvilMario> You fool.
  <EvilMario> Mwahah.. I mean.. HIIII


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912920
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.670977
text:
  <zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was
  going to be difficult
  <zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671026
text:
  <PickleC> I want to read
  <PickleC> but I have this disease
  <PickleC> called
  <PickleC> L-A-Z-Y
  <Carly> so you just guess whats on the screen then?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671070
text:
  <mootlife> wtf
  * mootlife prayers have been answered
  <mootlife> bus full of hot chicks just came here
  * mootlife goes outside


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912921
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671114
text:
  <digitz> I really hate it when girls think it's sexy to stand
  up and pull there cunt flaps apart and make it look like they
  have the predator between there legs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912923
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671265
text:
  <Mach17> i haev the firewall up
  <@Curator> firewall, what kind?
  <Mach17> redhat 7.2 :o
  <@Curator> thats a OS you fruitcake
  <@Curator> not a firewall
  <Mach17> stfu newb
  <@Curator> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671326
text:
  * eMeow-v2 fiddles with his r00t
  <Apollo-> Can you fiddle with my r00t too? I like it when
  people play with my root
  <eMeow-v2> Apollo-: you want "girlfriend". STFW.
  <Apollo-> haha
  <Apollo-> No, if I had a "girlfriend", "wife" would STFW for
  "unsolvable murder"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671382
text:
  <E-Claire> We're doing a play in drama.
  <A-C> oh yeah?
  <E-Claire> Yeah. A play about soviet Russia
  <E-Claire> Only we're using household animals. We got the idea
  from Orwell's animal farm.
  <A-C> Will you have Gerbils?
  <E-Claire> Nah...he was nazi germany.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671431
text:
  <Doys`> cats r mean
  <Doys`> they can take ur leg off
  <^badboy^> lol
  <Doys`> i got attacked by one the other day
  <Face> u must know some big cats (or u have small legs)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912924
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671504
text:
  <akamagikman> do u no a realy good server other then criten to
  get pc games
  <snacky> all you have to do is
  <snacky> /join #staff
  <snacky> then say "give me the warez"
  <snacky> just keep saying "give me the warez" and they'll know
  you're a serious customer
  <akamagikman> ok im in
  <akamagikman> now i just type give me the warez
  <snacky> remember, be persistant
  <snacky> yeah
  -:- SignOff akamagikman: #Ragol (Killed (Tae|biking|quadsux
  (This isn't a     warez channel, you idiot)))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671563
text:
  <Dillinger> i think i'm going to try that at the mall
  <Dillinger> wear a tower costume
  <Dillinger> and have a friend ram into me at full speed
  <Orestes> You'd need someone dressed up as a zombie fireman.
  <Dillinger> or just have someone dress up as a fireman and
  then throw himself onto the ground
  <Dillinger> and yell "OH NO I AM HURT WAH WAH"
  <Dillinger> and then fucking run.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671607
text:
  <_sho_> Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a
  bra?
  <RichiH> _sho_: that was so bad, it hurt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912925
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671661
text:
  (JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
  (Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
  (JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
  (Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
  (JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
  (Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend
  I'm 20 ;)
  (JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
  (Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
  (JHawk111420) both :-D
  (Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long
  sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I
  have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to
  here, and a smile that stops
  traffic
  (JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
  (Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing
  boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
  (Lady Renegade) hello?
  (Lady Renegade) hello?
  (Lady Renegade) hello ....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671721
text:
  <biatch> he tells me how he's cheated on two of his gfs
  <biatch> then when i email him telling him i'm back with luke
  <biatch> he's all disappointed
  <biatch> and he's like
  <biatch> "i told you about the girls i cheated on because i
  wanted you to TRUST me"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912926
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671777
text:
  <FHCI_SS> I work as a tech support and someone called
  yesterday with the following conversation taking place
  <FHCI_SS> Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my
  laptop. It's under warranty."
  <FHCI_SS> Me: "What seems to be the trouble with it?"
  <FHCI_SS> Customer: "My wife got mad and threw it in the
  pool."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671917
text:
  <Aeris> lol once I hit a guy in the eye with a quarter
  <Aeris> he threw like 5 quarters at me in revenge, it hurt
  <Deltan> At least you got the last laugh
  <Deltan> Assuming he threw back your own quarter
  <Deltan> you gained a dollar
  <Deltan> sowned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912927
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.671964
text:
  LordTwarog: i totally stalked her but only around school
  LordTwarog: so it was like "oh, i'm on break too" and not "i
  see you from the bushes"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672063
text:
  <n909> cool the girl across the street has her window on
  <n909> and it's light enough that i can use binoculars
  <n909> brb
  <jack|ass> n909: you are a horrible person.
  <jack|ass> n909: a gentleman would set up a webcam so all
  could enjoy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672157
text:
  <jre> There is no profile of a school shooter.  They come from
  all walks of life, all religions; they listen to different
  music, have different crowds; they are just random individuals
  who cannot be determined to be killers until they actually
  kill.
  * jre is now known as SoccerMoms
  <SoccerMoms> WE BETTER CENSOR MOVIES, TV, MUSIC, BOOKS,
  VIDEOGAMES AND THE INTERNET THEN
  * SoccerMoms is now known as Politicians
  <Politicians> K


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912928
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672206
text:
  <oak> i extracted like 80 .bin/cues before my trip
  <oak> and have no fucking clue what they are now lol
  <Path> IDIOT
  <Path> mass bin/cue extracting before trip = no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672258
text:
  <DoesNotExist> HAHAHAH. HAMLET THE TEXT ADVENTURE.
  <doughnut> DUDE.
  <Zinger> You have two options.
  <Zinger> 1) Be.
  <Zinger> 2) Not be.
  <doughnut> hahahaha
  <Gohanmastaflex> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672314
text:
  <A-KO> heh
  <A-KO> so
  <A-KO> what's the latest on Iraq? heh
  <@crw> eh, apparently it's still there.
  <@crw> we're working to rectify the problem :P
  <A-KO> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912929
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672406
text:
  Sup (fdsa@d141-144-70.home.cgocable.net) is now known as
  Sup-out
  <Judau> good riddance
  <|[T]|Hiddenpower{573}> don't be so mean to supes
  <|[T]|Hiddenpower{573}> he may be a dumb jock but he has
  feelings too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672463
text:
  <+MegamanX2K> They shoulda advertised UT03 at the super bowl
  <@Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
  <+MegamanX2K> who needs Football when you have BOMBING RUN!
  <+MegamanX2K> <Jerry_Rice> YOU BLEED BETTER THAN YOU PUNT!
  <Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
  <MegamanX2K> with all the interceptions Tampa Bay made, John
  Madden shoulda yelled out "RrrrrrrrrrrrrRAMPAGE!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672512
text:
  <@Ded|> filled another glass of wine while I was at it
  <@Ded|> oh damn someone else just pulled up w00t party on
  <@oak> its me
  <@oak> i'm there to slap you for drinking boxed wine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912930
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672558
text:
  <sparks333> no see, women in engineering are like parking
  spaces
  <sparks333> the good ones are taken and the rest are
  waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there
  <pikachu> or handicapped


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672647
text:
  n e r d b 5: you use redhat?
  n e r d b 5: thats a program you can get warez from, right?
  n e r d b 5: like napster
  n e r d b 5: d/l apps from other people


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912931
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672702
text:
  <Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe
  * [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances
  <Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device"
  <[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him
  <Arrgh> like what? my shoe?!
  <Arrgh> HE ALREADY HAS IT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672801
text:
  <Musket> is there an echo in here?
  <ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
  <FessyBugger> in here?
  <Kajifox> here?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672860
text:
  <deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an
  interview once
  <deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
  <rwhom> did you get it right?
  <deimos> and then they looked at me
  <deimos> and wanted a single part answer
  <deimos> so i thought for a second
  <cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe".  i didn't get the job.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912932
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.672916
text:
  <UFGailorJupiter> i'm going to go cleanse myself.
  <UFGailorJupiter> i'll be bathing in the sacred hentai waters.
  <UFGailorJupiter> well
  <UFGailorJupiter> hentai game music waters.
  <Bob_McBob> So what you mean is, you're going to download some
  porn and masturbate?
  <UFGailorJupiter> Bob: YES!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673022
text:
  <Lord_Nuke> Blegh, today was annoying
  <Lord_Nuke> Some people I wonder how they remember to get
  dressed mornings
  <l33t-mercury> how so?
  <Lord_Nuke> Well, as you know, I work at the Best Buy Rebate
  Center
  <Lord_Nuke> So a woman calls in, she got a letter declining
  her rebate request for invalid receipt
  <Lord_Nuke> it turns out she bought her computer at Comp-Usa,
  and then went on bestbuy.com and printed off a rebate form
  <Lord_Nuke> And she wonders why she didn't get her rebate
  <l33t-mercury> OMG! Rofl!
  <Lord_Nuke> Yeah, well, its still better than the fool who
  forgets to mail it in at all
  <Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to check on my rebate.
  I've been waiting 6 months"
  <Lord_Nuke> Me: "Well, do you have a copy of your rebate form
  with you?"
  <Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, let me open my envelope here, I
  have the rebate form."
  <Lord_Nuke> Me: "Wait, wait. You have the envelope there? As
  in you didn't mail it?"
  <Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, it's right here. Can you tell me
  what's taking so long?"
  <l33t-mercury> lol
  <Lord_Nuke> Me: "Just let me confirm this: You didn't mail it
  in, and you want to know what's taking so long?"
  <Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yes, that's correct..... oh. Shit."
  *click*
  <l33t-mercury> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673072
text:
  <@DudeGuy> i really like soymild
  <@DudeGuy> milk
  <@eponymous> New Soy Mild: For You Vegan Fuckers Too Pansy-Ass
  to Take Regular Soy (TM)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673121
text:
  <KKK> hey guys check this out, i can say all the banned words,
  and not get banned, look
  <KKK> FUCK YOU MYDOWNLOADER KAZZA XDCCSPY CRITEN INSIDERZ
  * dv sets mode: +b *!*@52DF899E39.addictz.net
  * KKK was kicked by dv (banned: Repeated Offence, No Caps!
  5min ban)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912933
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673174
text:
  <KZoo> COX
  <devilboy> VAGINAL ORIFICE
  <KZoo> thats not a service provider
  <KZoo> well....i guess it is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673219
text:
  ·fetter· do you know how to write appedectimy
  ·fetter· the surgical operation
  Nt_HoleMan  i have no idea
  Nt_HoleMan  i quit school at the age of 3
  Nt_HoleMan  because all the teachers were playa hatin on me
  ·fetter· ???~~??!?!?!
  ·fetter· you dont go to school?
  Nt_HoleMan  read above


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912934
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673270
text:
  <burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going
  to be your roommate next year at OU."
  <burrahobbit> AND COMMA
  <burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673371
text:
  <crum> 1-800-We Are 18
  <crum> good number
  <crum> they were lucky
  <nem0> yeah, good thing it wasn't We-Are-12
  <crum> lol
  <bryne> i'm sure that's taken, too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673462
text:
  <Hendrix> Its fun to go out in the cold weather and watch
  smokers pass out becuse they dont know when they're done
  exhaling


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673515
text:
  <Tremolo> They tried to shove Christianity down my throat
  <Zenith> That's not where you're supposed to *shove*
  Christianity!  Look at the priests!  They know what they're
  doing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912935
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673562
text:
  <InkyTriviaBot> Question: what was the first zeppelin made of?
  <InkyTriviaBot> answer:  --------
  <AlexisMachine> fire


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673613
text:
  <bunch> themole nslookup cdecommunications.com.au
  <themole> I can't find that machine name
  <cinnabar> themole, look up mydress.com
  *** Signoff: themole (Read error to themole: Connection reset
  by peer)
  <cinnabar> he must not have liked what he saw.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912936
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673700
text:
  Krackers2087: fucking spyware crap
  Krackers2087: evil bastards
  Krackers2087: theyre like the hitlers of the 21st century
  Krackers2087: before you know it theyll get ideas
  Krackers2087: and soon they'll be flooding your screen with
  popups like KILL THE JEWS!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673759
text:
  <mightious> it would be cool to get attacked my a monster or
  something, I mean think of the stories
  <mightious> or if you died you'd be a hero
  <Hidden_7> yah, I prepare for monster attacks daily
  <Hidden_7> cause imagine if you WERE a hero
  <mightious> I have garlic incase of vampires, and a cross
  incase of a vampire, and on the rare chance of a vampire I
  have holy water
  <mightious> ...actually im only prepared for vampires


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673809
text:
  <miv> i'm gona take a nap
  <miv> i'll dedicate this nap to all the hoes in japan
  <miv> all the 10-14 yearolds


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912937
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673903
text:
  Rayo :: My friend Lupe is the Santa at the Mall.
  dissolve/decay :: wait, what happened?
  Rayo :: He owed me money.
  Rayo :: So I waited in line today with all the kids.
  Rayo :: and told him to pay up in front of all the children,
  "kids. Santa owes me 40"
  "....come on Greg...wheres your Christmas Spirit?"
  "Do you want these kids to think Santa is a cheapskate?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.673956
text:
  <puertoroo> so, i was at the store and the hot female clerk
  was checking me out and stuff
  <puertoroo> then we came back to my place and tore my bedroom
  up
  <puertoroo> then we did it on the stove and then on the
  washing machine
  <HuhWhat> And in the real world, what happened?
  <puertoroo> ....i never even made it to the store :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912938
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674004
text:
  <indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from
  linux
  <indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the
  uselessness of a corporate product


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674055
text:
  <Belial`> you still cant say anything with certainty though
  <Belial`> since the bible has like, a fucking black hole
  between jesus being a kid and his preaching days
  <Catoptromancy> Phase 1, birth
  <Catoptromancy> Phase 2, ???
  <Catoptromancy> Phase 3, Prophet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674150
text:
  <Blue> yeah, a copy of it was found in a desert
  <Blue> the guy turned it into the newspaper or something
  instead of doing the right thing
  <Blue> which of course is ebaying it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912939
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674222
text:
  <Scotty> Oh my fucking God. I just spent the best 20 dollars
  of my life. On a bet, anyway.
  <Scotty> After school, me and my friends went to the drug
  store.
  <Scotty> And my friend brought a box of condoms to the
  counter.
  <Scotty> And she scanned them.
  <Scotty> And he acted like he didn't have enough money.
  <Scotty> He was like, "Shit, I'll be right back."
  <Scotty> So he puts the condoms back, and comes back with a
  bag of rubber bands in one hand and a box of plastic wrap in
  the other.
  <Scotty> Oh my fucking God
  <Scotty> Until the day I die
  <Scotty> I will never forget that lady's face.
  <DanT> haha
  <Scotty> Best bet I've ever lost.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674283
text:
  <@Shadoe> I don't want to have sex with you
  <@Shadoe> EVAR
  <Vladimere> yeah yeah
  <Vladimere> i've heard it before
  <Vladimere> that's what they all say, and then they end up
  staring at the headboard
  <@Shadoe> yeah, going "jesus christ when will it end"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674331
text:
  <bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> ew
  <bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> yoru dad ejaculates into my mouth
  <bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> er.
  <bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> your mouth*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912940
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674381
text:
  <Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
  <Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
  * Jaedra stares at Dryzz
  <Jaedra> dude...
  <Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
  <Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674435
text:
  <gerrard> siiiiigh
  <gerrard> nothing like sitting around in your boxers at 4 am
  <gerrard> mouse in one hand
  <gerrard> can of mountain dew in the other
  <}Phoenix{> dick in your mouth
  <gerrard> ya..
  <gerrard> hey wait


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674488
text:
  <CiTay> and remember, some people are that stupid about every
  possible aspect of a PC... hardware and software
  <CiTay> my granduncle, for instance...
  <CiTay> got a virus from the internet and wanted to erase his
  hard disk. he built it out and used a strong magnet for the
  task.
  <CiTay> amazingly, the disk lived
  <CiTay> he was surprised to hear that one can erase hard disk
  using special software, such as format.com.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912941
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674542
text:
  <[NOREAGA]> whine
  <[NOREAGA]> nah i'm more important than u
  <[NOREAGA]> ur some aol junkie
  <[NOREAGA]> i've been to defcon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674587
text:
  <Incognita> my baby does not have the birth defect that
  effects 50% of the
  +human population :D
  <Demon> Incognita: what -- a vagina?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674639
text:
  <salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you
  know :)
  <M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that
  much ;)
  <salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no
  pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
  <M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
  <salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still
  charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912942
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674741
text:
  <Fuyutski> Canada has 32,200,000 people. :o
  <Dami> And I am one of them. XD
  <Fuyutski> America has 290,300,000
  <Fuyutski> =o
  <Dami> Fuyu: We're bigger, and we're on top. If this was
  prison, they'd be our BITCH.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674802
text:
  <barnacle> rape and sex are really the same thing
  <SaxxonPike> Not exactly
  <SaxxonPike> Well I can't think of the difference right now
  <SaxxonPike> But I think rape is the bad one that you always
  see in the news
  <SaxxonPike> Much like the difference between "nigga" and
  "nigger" I guess
  <SaxxonPike> One is somehow bad, it's all in how you say it
  <barnacle> i see


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674859
text:
  <d1cer> omfg
  <d1cer> i just shit the bigest shit in the world
  <d1cer> :/
  <d1cer> it was like a fucking legg
  <LivinDead> lol
  <LivinDead> how big was it?
  <d1cer> umm
  <d1cer> k
  <d1cer> hold on leme get my ruler


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912943
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.674903
text:
  [@SI-pHluid]: ::: You successfully sent (Brazillian Horse
  Sex.mpg) (54.83MB) to (si-sonder) in (33m 18s) at (28.1KB/s)
  [@SI-pHluid]: er.
  [@SI-pHluid]: ignore that.
  [@SI-BlowShitUp]: ROFLMAO
  [@SI-BlowShitUp]: asdkf;mhsdFHG@$%^@$%^@$%^YRG
  [@SI-BlowShitUp]: NEW QUIT MSG
  [@SI-BlowShitUp]: askfgsdfGSE%^$W%^#$6
  [@SI-pHluid]: /clear :|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912944
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675095
text:
  <RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was
  all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all
  like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675147
text:
  <mcsim02> you know...one day the word pron is actually going
  to replace the word porn for good...and then in the year 2055
  some internet geek is gonna think hes really funny by calling
  it 'porn' instead of 'pron'...and it will be a horrible
  horrible cycle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912945
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675250
text:
  <t-f-i> An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a
  conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and
  the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in
  a small group that included personnel from both navies.
  <t-f-i> The French Admiral started complaining that whereas
  Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only
  English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak
  English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
  <t-f-i> Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied:
  "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and
  Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."
  The group became silent.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675348
text:
  <Velkyr> Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant,
  all her friends rub her belly and say "congratulations!"
  <Velkyr> But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675397
text:
  <LLyric> How do I break out of an infinite loop on a c64? It's
  been sooo long.
  <MaggieL> Unplug it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912946
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675442
text:
  uiu BitchX: Join to #discotheque was synched in 2.229 secs!!
  <digdug> why so few people? :/
  <bocz> i wuz hungry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675492
text:
  <Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you
  fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
  <Quast> or get it yourself
  <xooz98> which badge do you get again?
  <xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675583
text:
  <@pork> whats best buy
  <@Al> pork: it's a store, they're kind of like the trading
  posts you have in australia only with carpet and fewer cured
  crocodile hides.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912947
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675623
text:
  Manghuntr9: i am taking a piece of KRAFT cheese to church with
  me in the hopes that i can get an extra piece of jesus and
  make a sandwich


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675664
text:
  [ @^duckman^ ] haha i remember when i was 15 we got this guy
  to get us a keg
  [ @^duckman^ ] then he said ok i want 20 bucks for you to
  borrow my tap
  [ @^duckman^ ] we had no idea what that is
  [ @^duckman^ ] so i said we have one
  [ @^duckman^ ] that sucked


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675731
text:
  <dreawn> I found out earlier today from an ex-AF friend of
  mine that a gallon
  of prize winning bull semen sells for 10 L
  <dreawn> err 10 K
  <dreawn> so I've taken up a new occupation and double life as
  a semen rustler.
  <Marmalade420> so i need is polar bear semen
  <Marmalade420> and i can get money
  <Marmalade420> all
  <dreawn> well, prize-winning bull semen.
  <dreawn> you could join my gang of ruthless thugs who steal
  semen from large
  creatures and try to sell it
  <Marmalade420> sure
  <dreawn> nothing like fleeing the farm of a north dakota
  farmer with a gang of
  lawmen chasing you in pickup trucks worrying about
  spilling some
  bull gravy out of a tin pail
  <dreawn> nope, nothing at all.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912949
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675778
text:
  <Farcaller> to get spare parts disassemble/assemble some
  device
  <Farcaller> repeat until you get enough spare parts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912950
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.675821
text:
  (bannsheebot): I was so distracted by this banner ad, I typed
  my login password into the url field.
  (Ntruder): hah
  (bannsheebot): it shows this little kid smacking his forehead,
  and the word "College" next to him.
  (Ntruder): someone somewhere deserves a marketing award


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676043
text:
  <Grover> On my linux box, I once swapped out the motherboard,
  put in a new video card, doubled the RAM, installed a CD
  burner, installed a RAID array of (6) 200GB SATA Drives, and
  overclocked the CPU without ever rebooting it
  <Rusty> Didn't you reboot it a few weeks ago?
  <Grover> Yeah, I had to reboot to install my Thumb Drive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912951
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676103
text:
  <treph> when the topic is something that I care about? that's
  circular definition. sorry.
  <ShaneBe> what do you care about?
  <treph> I care when the argument considers present or imminent
  action.
  <treph> and also when it's mathematical - in the old sense of
  mathematical
  <ShaneBe> like whether or not to remove yourself from burning
  buildings?
  <treph> yeah.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676146
text:
  <Frankstar> I am so fucking pissed. This one guy sold me his
  air guitar on ebay for 70 dollars and I still havent fucking
  received shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912952
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676194
text:
  <Philgone> also what is wrong with keeping your penis in a
  woman
  * Philgone strokes his cabbage patch doll
  <Philgone> toasty warm
  <BFG> is her name cynthia veronica picklesbury?
  <Philgone> no.. roland


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676337
text:
  <Firemoth> Anyone know how long a male bird will usually go
  out looking for food?
  <milenko> Firemoth: spose it depends on what bird
  <Firemoth> Plover.
  <Firemoth> We've got a female bird here with 4 babies, the
  dad's been gone all day and hasn't come back yet.
  <milenko> Firemoth: get the female to apply for social
  security


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676384
text:
  <ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in
  common
  <ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912953
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676437
text:
  <~Danke> trolling or not you can't expect me to link me to
  furry porn and say "oh VoiDeD, that's good that you've found
  something you're interested in"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676482
text:
  <tally> why does it seem like out of the ton of people listed
  on the right, only four are talking
  <vette> the rest are whispering


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676536
text:
  <usrg>  cigarettes are carcinogenic, too
  <oink2u> actually, it's the smoke that you inhale from the
  cigarette that's carcinogenic
  <usrg> well DUH  :-P
  <usrg> you don't eat the damn thing!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912954
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676581
text:
  <Silhouette> Thats sad, i screwed up while writing a note to
  myself and looked all over for the undo button


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676641
text:
  <devilgrl> qwasz: im a rocket technician for the govt.
  <devilgrl> i used to be a unix admin
  <pagan> sure have alot of exp for being 21...
  <devilgrl> pagan: i dropped outta school and started working
  fulltime when I was 17
  <pagan> then the .gov picked you up to work on rockets?
  <devilgrl> my friend works for the company, he got me an
  interview
  <pagan> and they saw your stunning education record, and hired
  you right?
  <pagan> of course your full of shit, your a girl
  <devilgrl> exactly


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676736
text:
  <erl1> my gf is getting 8mbit
  <erl1> im glad i didn't dump her
  <erl1> im gonna go over to her place with my box and leech


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912955
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676791
text:
  --> ROJO has joined #nocomment
  --- ChanServ gives channel operator status to ROJO
  <Kazz> ROJO!
  * Kazz grunts.
  * ROJO returns grunt
  * Kazz takes off loincloth.
  * ROJO shudders
  <Kazz> ROJO!
  * Kazz bobs.
  <ROJO> KAZZ!
  * Kazz takes off ROJO's loincloth.
  <Kazz> ROJO!
  <-- ROJO has quit (Quit: (i leave when it takes a turn for the
  homoerotic))
  * Kazz weeps.
  <Kazz> Ro... jo....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676845
text:
  <SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier
  <SD-Washu> that was l33t
  <biafra> what
  <SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese
  <SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was
  "what the fuc...."
  <SD-Washu> followed by *click*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676943
text:
  *** Big_Daddy changes topic to '(@ALbino) i sucked nwar, but
  not like i had a choice :)'
  (Big_Daddy) that is in fact NOT taken out of context btw :)
  (nwar) nor is it edited in anyway
  (ALbino) bd always takes my stuff out of context
  (ALbino) what he's not telling you is that nwar was bitten by
  a poisonous snake and in order to save nwar's life i had to
  suck the poison out. so, in fact, i am not a raging homosexual
  with dong-swallowing tendancies, but rather, a hero. someone
  to be looked up to and respected :)
  (Big_Daddy) who eats the cock :)
  (ALbino) besides the point :)
  (ALbino) surely you aren't suggesting that just because a guy
  likes to gargle a little cock every now and then that he can't
  be a hero to the masses :)
  (Big_Daddy) now you're saying nwar has a little cock?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912956
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.676995
text:
  <Andymc> lawl 156 photos on my phone...
  <Andymc> but i don't have a fuxxing way to get them onto the
  comp... need a bluetooth dock or summat
  <GriM> peel them off and re-apply glue?  Perhaps a mild
  solvent to loosen the sticky?
  <Andymc> You should apply for a job at Dell...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677043
text:
  <AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
  <Kurushimi> yes.
  <Kurushimi> i play with myself
  <Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677114
text:
  <Kiteless> anyways, invite only is often a good thing
  <Kiteless> unless youre talking about girls of course..
  <ScumDog> Kidon's giving you delusions about girls who like
  games being 'hot'
  <ScumDog> she's a serious rarity - remember that
  <mightyflo> sell her on ebay
  <Kiteless> 'hot gamer gf'
  <mightyflo> LQQK!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912957
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677170
text:
  <slippy^> i am evi|
  <mr-cow> what you done now?
  <slippy^> well
  <slippy^> i had a thought.
  <slippy^> sat on my desk is a "clients" pc
  <slippy^> would it be wrong of me to install something that
  screwed it every few months, thus insuring work?
  * slippy^ installs win98


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677210
text:
  Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
  Walter39: Not sure why
  Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
  Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at
  Everquest


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677266
text:
  <Sarah> I just saw 28 Days Later
  <rude-inverse> that's one of those movies I always planned on
  seeing but never did.
  <rude-inverse> what was the significance of "28 days"? the
  only thing I associate 28 days with is a menstrual cycle.
  <Sarah> maybe that's why there was so much blood.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677314
text:
  <Snoopen_Man> who wants to be nuked?
  <jeffx> me!
  <dedsmurf> i have already been nuked, my microwave is one of
  the first models made, it's leaking i think


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912958
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677365
text:
  (During another round of mega splits on DALnet)
  <Guest51394> how do u get into the servers?
  <priz> you can't.
  <priz> if you walked into a McDonalds when the kitchen was on
  fire, do you think they'd take your order?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677461
text:
  <Guilty> Pen your quote db doesnt get updated enough anymore
  <Guilty> You should just set up an elaborate #discotheque
  logging system and grep "guilty" >> quotes.db
  <Guilty> Then it would always be fresh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912959
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677513
text:
  * Shi-chan beats Tino down
  <Shi-chan> DIE
  <Tino> haha
  * Shi-chan takes out a spoonn
  <Shi-chan> DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS
  <ilifin> there is no spoon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677565
text:
  <cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking
  lot
  <cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this
  girl
  <cugar`class> and all the sudden
  <cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her
  "dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677656
text:
  jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the
  bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get?
  Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote
  server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position
  open for me. :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912960
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677704
text:
  <comet_11> I hope I never go to prison
  <comet_11> I swear I dropped the soap like 12 times when I
  showered just then


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677753
text:
  <Devan> I got a 75 dollar check today for no reason!
  <Devan> What can I buy with 75 dollars?!
  <Devan> Guys?
  <Vesp> A shitty blowjob or a fantastic handjob


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677842
text:
  <PapaWo|f> any girls care to chat with 17/m/Van/Lamer/zits for
  days/hideously overweight/naked right at this moment spanking
  off to animal porn? msg me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677885
text:
  <miz> man, you just pushed the geek meter right off the scale
  with the combined MS bash and LOTR reference


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912961
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.677938
text:
  <Crysanna> might as well give up on port 137 there. You are
  making my computer yawn
  <cameron> iknow but im almost in
  <PC^God> HHAHAHA
  <Crysanna> PC^God - didn't you know that if you keep hammering
  137 it eventually gives up and lets you in? hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678028
text:
  <mynx> hahaha i had a construction worker holler at me today
  <Wurzle> he said "YOU FUCKING HOMO GET AWAY FROM MY BUIDING
  SITE!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912962
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678074
text:
  <nightfal> diffused: Runtime().exec() is just a shortcut to
  ((Satan)System.getPropety("SATAN")).burnMyFaceOff
  (). Don't do it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678124
text:
  <kingmob> lisa is being very resistant to this whole
  "dreadlock" thing
  <kingmob> probably concerned about all the fly bitches i'll
  have


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678174
text:
  <Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or
  something
  <dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
  <Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
  <Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
  <dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678256
text:
  <pathogen> <(^_^<)
  <pathogen> (>^_^)>
  <pathogen> kirby dances
  <pathogen> for money
  <pathogen> <(^_^<)
  <pathogen> (>^_^)>
  <pathogen> <(^_^<)
  <pathogen> (>^_^)>
  <pathogen> <(^_^<)
  <pathogen> (>^_^)>
  <pathogen> <(O_O)>
  <pathogen> cha-cha-cha!
  <kermit> gay


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912963
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678318
text:
  <Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you
  lookin' for a good time"
  <Boogieman> and she said "yes"
  <Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
  <Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
  <Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678366
text:
  <fyre> i have 8 rack units in my pants ready to scale and meet
  vertical markets
  <fyre> say that to her@!
  <fyre> "lets see how you perform under load"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678409
text:
  <_absent> Dilbert: why dont you tell everyone about the time
  you overdosed on shrooms, and the cops found you in a field
  covered in your own feces shaking a hand in the air and
  claiming the federal government was planning to take your life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678481
text:
  [Lamsey> lol, i'm running UT in spectator mode to run down my
  laptop's battery and the camera's right next to a biorifle
  spot
  [Lamsey> whole screen's covered in green goo, hehe
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> that happened to me last night
  <Lamsey> ok FC, please don't elaborate in any way or form
  please
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> I sneezed and all this stuff came out of
  my nose
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> all over the screen
  <Lamsey> ugh, too late
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> people tell younger guys to make sure they
  have enough money...comdums...etc when they go on a date
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> also remember to blow your nose before you
  go out
  <-FuNkY CaPrIcOrN-> could cause problems
  <Lamsey> 'snot usually a problem for me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912964
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678534
text:
  <`michael> where's snow
  <var> dunno mike
  <var> jerking off to japanese scat while listening to horrid
  ddr music
  <var> is my best guess


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912965
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678626
text:
  <Gwindor> I like how horses can shit and walk at the same
  time.  what an achievment!  must have taken centuries of
  adaption.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912966
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678731
text:
  <goat^2> man, i just queefed
  <goat^2> and htats weird, because i dont have a vagina
  <paintray|PissedAtEverything> your penis farted?
  <goat^2> yeah
  <paintray|PissedAtEverything> thats....gross
  <goat^2> stinked pretty bad
  <paintray|PissedAtEverything> you sure it just isn't rancid
  pus from a veneral disease you have?
  <goat^2> normally the past tense of stink is stunk, but when a
  male queef, grammar rules go to hell
  <goat^2> no man, it wasnt anything physical, just my eurethra
  made that farting motion
  <goat^2> and there was a rancid smell


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912966
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678854
text:
  <Armand> dude
  <Armand> I took a mega shit today
  <Dong Abuser> nice work soldier
  <Dong Abuser> as you were


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.678951
text:
  <stank> guys.. i went out tonight.
  <stank> i pretended to be a normal college student.
  <stank> and i stood uncomfortably on a porch with a bunch of
  people i don't know.
  <stank> but then i ran into bill and will, who were pretending
  in the same way.
  <stank> so we talked about networks and i felt better.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679006
text:
  <NuttO> "The proposal includes the prohibition of Mortal
  Kombat, Resident Evil, Turck, the House of the Dead, Duke
  Nukem, Shadowman, Quake, Instinct Killer, Doom, the Legacy of
  Kain, Street Fighter and Perfect Dark."
  <NuttO> I'm sure they'll see a drop in violent crimes in
  twenty years thanks to this ban.
  <Cordelia> and in 30 years, Asia Minor will defeat Oceana


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912967
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679051
text:
  Substitue Teacher> Alright class. Here's the next question.
  Spain was divided into what? Hint, Canada has these.
  Dane> Umm... Canadians!
  Kyle> ... Provinces you idiot...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679098
text:
  <Corndog24> the corndog got dumped tonight
  <The_Freak> Don't worry Corn, you're still cousins, right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679146
text:
  <TC|crapping> I AM HOMOSEXUAL AND SHOULDN'T LEAVE MY STUPID
  GAME LOGGED IN WHEN I GO TO THE RESTROOM.
  <TC|crapping> Love, TC's wife.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679185
text:
  Seppuko I: ever jack a guy off with your feet?
  PrettyPrincess1: no
  Seppuko I: do you want to?
  PrettyPrincess1 no
  Seppuko I: would you if asked?
  PrettyPrincess1: no
  Seppuko I: what if he had a gun to your head?
  PrettyPrincess1: yea
  Seppuko I: SCORE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912968
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679227
text:
  dmwit: You know, my first year at college they gave me a
  whistle.
  dmwit: They told me it was a rape whistle.
  dmwit: But no matter how hard I blew, I never got raped. =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679269
text:
  Euriusx_xNocturnus: Think of someone of "average"
  intelligence. Then think half the world is dumber than that.
  Veronica5050: ow
  Veronica5050: just ow
  Veronica5050: owowowowowowowowow


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679324
text:
  <DW-Steve> i'm a hacker
  <mystican> no you're not
  <mystican> you're a farmer
  <mystican> theres a difference


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912969
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679372
text:
  <GigaVirus> I've never had a firewall and never been hacked :
  /.
  <GigaVirus> .
  <GigaVirus> That was dumb to say.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679424
text:
  The wolf catches Red Riding Hood and rapes her violently.
  After he's done, Red Riding Hood threatens him, "I'm gonna go
  to the police and tell them that you violetntly raped me four
  times!!"
  The wolf looks at her puzzled and says, "What do you mean FOUR
  times?"
  Red Riding just looks at him and replies, "Well, we've still
  got time"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679468
text:
  <Poi-Poi> I need a punching bag
  <Poi-Poi> the kind that you put someone in and kick the crap
  out of


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679530
text:
  *** gimpoid (~jj@adsl173-22.powerdsl.com.au) has joined #
  mpeg3c
  <gimpoid> hey
  <lut> sup gimp
  <gimpoid> not much
  <gimpoid> lud ?
  <gimpoid> got fired
  <gimpoid> need work :'(
  <DrBK> HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
  <DrBK> oops
  <DrBK> wrong channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912970
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679576
text:
  <ScumDog> I don't think the act itself is sick, though.
  They're going to have sex with someone, it might as well be
  me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.912971
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.679622
text:
  <Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I
  discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked
  cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.


text: Kowal: looks like I've been outsmarted by Tors again.
date: 2024-10-13 20:43:02.530024
ip_address: 185.99.26.9
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:43:02.530025
user_agent:
  Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/129.0.0.0 Safari/537.36


date: 2024-10-13 20:43:32.071896
ip_address: 185.99.26.9
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:43:32.071902
text:
  < duoi> how do i stop getting my puter infected with adware when downloading porn < skas> block ads < skas> update os and antivir < hdqn> next! < duoi> but how will i find out about lonely singles in my local area < hdqn> look into every window in the neighbourhood, if they're IRCing that's your best best < hdqn> the shorter the handle, the longer the candle, if y'know what I mean

user_agent:
  Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/129.0.0.0 Safari/537.36


text: peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
date: 2025-09-20 19:39:17.327442
ip_address: 127.0.0.1
submitted_at: 2025-09-20 19:39:17.327452
user_agent:
  Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/140.0.0.0 Safari/537.36


