# quote

date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911426
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433236
text:
  [ Tom^ ] i remember my mate had a 33k modem, and we were like
  you should upgrade to 56k, then his dad was like, there is no
  point cus most webpages wont load any faster than around 33k
  anyway
  [ Tom^ ] that was when i thought the internet was some guy
  sitting in a room and when you type in a web page he got that
  then sent the page to ur pc
  [ Tom^ ] replace man with server and i had the idea :P
  [ L-uNiT ] that's an awesome system tom
  [ L-uNiT ] if he doesn't feel well then he'll just go away
  [ L-uNiT ] and toilet brakes mean that we'll all get 404's
  [ L-uNiT ] it'd be more effecient than microsoft servers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911426
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433288
text:
  <Surye> My mom was like "Why don't you put on "Wake Me Up" By
  Wham for your alarm"? I just looked at her and said "So you
  want me to wake up gay?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911427
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433338
text:
  <@slippy> Interests:  Computers: Cyberculture, Hobbies:
  Literature, Science:
  Physics, Space: Star-Trek
  <@slippy> doesn't bode well for her dress size


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911427
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433411
text:
  <static> there's one of those funny looking airconditioning
  fan thingies out side the mall nearby.  it blows air straight
  up out of the sidewalk.  I keep looking at it as I walk by and
  wondering "if I stand on it,  will it push me up to the second
  level of the mall?"
  <static> I think I play too many video games.
  <FJ> test it
  <FJ> throw a cat into the stream
  <FJ> at the vry least, you'll be laughing your butt off


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911427
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433480
text:
  *** PoisonPen changes topic to 'Matrix Revolutions:  Smith: "I
  R teh Ubermensch!  U R 0wn3d w/ my awesome Will!"  Neo: "No!
  Because I will refute teh diabilical existential angst w/ kung
  fu!"  Smith: "Argh!  Now I must stand in the rain and shake my
  fist at you! Why?  Why?"  Neo: "Ha ha!  I win by losing!  I R
  teh Jesus!"  The end.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911428
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433591
text:
  <xmt> I have a Iframe but when i write text in it, and push
  ENTER to get a new line it makes like two lines why ?
  <trimp> xmt: you're problems are severe
  <trimp> I think we have a level 3 drilion
  <xmt> trimp: ?
  <trimp> well lets just say that people at level 2 are in a
  druling in a wheelchair and their keyboard is their voice.
  <drlion> rofl
  <xmt> could u help me with the problem or ?
  <trimp> damnit xmt, I'm not a doctor!
  <xmt> ok, why didn´t u say that at once
  *** xmt has quit IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911428
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433639
text:
  <Kevyn> Windows XP has been running for 2wks 6days 49mins
  26secs
  <Kevyn> Heh. Damn.
  <Kevyn> I thought I smelled something burning.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911430
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433872
text:
  * ILoveJackDaniels looks out of the window to laugh at the man
  wearing a mini-dress dancing in front of a car
  <ILoveJackDaniels> Accelerate, damn you!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911430
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433922
text:
  <Nyphur>Dude, my wee sister has TITS!
  <CWGerard>...
  <CWGerard>...
  <Nyphur>Fuck, did I just think that, or did I type it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911430
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.433968
text:
  <+DoomSooth> I went to Providence Middle School in Virginia.
  <+DoomSooth> The cheerleaders had PMS in big letters on their
  uniforms.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911431
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434061
text:
  <green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are
  sick freaks.
  <Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment..
  you keep eating all the fucking plants


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911431
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434109
text:
  <[7^11^Dropout]> i will put you in a wheelchair witha
  shpinning, half-twist, lebanese heel kick mate
  <Mousey> if you were lebanese you would still be working at
  7-11
  <Mousey> lying cunt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911431
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434168
text:
  <Hamsters> i'm trying to get me self one at downtown BUT they
  got those stickers on the glasses and said that i need to be
  19 older
  <shagman> only for tobacco
  <shagman> not pipes and papers and crap
  * Owyn blinks
  <Owyn> Shag: smaller sentences
  <Owyn> You'll break his brain.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911432
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434226
text:
  <-Sharky-> lol, thats a new one
  <-Sharky-> raping urself
  <PuffinFreshWog> riight
  <PuffinFreshWog> well if your underage and you don't concent
  to you hand...
  <-Sharky-> so like ur playin wif urself, and then saying "No,
  no dont do this"
  <-Sharky-> to urself?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911432
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434277
text:
  <acetonic> are you a total dipshit?
  <O-Dogg> fuck you
  <acetonic> answer = "yes I am"
  <O-Dogg> fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911432
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434325
text:
  * Mr`Anders is now known as MrAndersn
  <TreOptik> mrandersn sounds like a pedophile biochemestry
  teacher
  ***later
  <_spirit_> hmm mr anderson... that reminds me of highschool
  <TreOptik> i said something like that too ..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911433
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434449
text:
  <Bendit> damn it, the cherries I bought yesterday are bad
  <Bendit> cherry season is already over
  <Bendit> :(
  <Bendit> 1/3 of them seem to be almost rotting
  <Bendit> and the rest have no flavour
  <Bendit> there are so few things I like, WHY MUST THEY BE
  SEASONAL??!!?
  <Bulk> ://
  <omega> lucky for you cock isn't seasonal, so you may continue
  to enjoy it all year round.
  <Bulk> im so glad you're in a good mood omega


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911433
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434500
text:
  <JDigital> Kazz, I think they're pretty obvious going on your
  reputed dicksize.
  <JDigital> Kazz has a 183948192 inch dick.
  <dregan> Kazz - envy of every man, dog and skyscraper
  architect on the hemisphere.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911433
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434563
text:
  <|-|00PsTa> sup spikey
  <Da-cHeF> lo lo
  <|-|00PsTa> does your mom live in uk too?
  <Da-cHeF> 50% london, 50% athens
  <|-|00PsTa> she commutes daily??
  <Da-cHeF> heh
  <Da-cHeF> no
  <Da-cHeF> she lives 50/50
  <|-|00PsTa> u mean shes almost dead?
  <Da-cHeF> errm no


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911434
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434633
text:
  <@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys
  think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911434
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434716
text:
  <[Fee]> I watch univsion
  <[Fee]> and galavision
  <[Fee]> they got nice ass on there sometimes
  <[Fee]> i dont know what there saying
  <[Fee]> but ass is univeral


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911434
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434770
text:
  <thomas> you know why Santa's always jolly?
  <ani> no
  <thomas> He knows where all the bad girls live.
  <lonewolf> do they empty his sack for him?
  <lonewolf> I'd be grumpy if I only came once a year though
  <thomas> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911435
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434920
text:
  <Felix1> i just got 2070 on ski
  <lud> I finished Minesweeper ... custom game, two mines I
  mean, out of 500 squares


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911435
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.434983
text:
  <`jon`> oh god this is a joke
  <`jon`> 'jon-' is taken :/
  <`jon`> /whotheFUCKis jon-
  <`jon`> oh shit
  -:- Jon- [teppic8@usr449-gat.cableinet.co.uk] has joined #
  doomroom
  <`jon`> its me
  <Jon-> heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911436
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435025
text:
  *** mark (mark@line103-2.adsl.actcom.co.il) has quit IRC:
  -eXtreme- WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of
  viruses...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911436
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435073
text:
  <helminthes> haikus are real gay
  <helminthes> cause they put limitations
  <helminthes> on syllables used


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911436
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435170
text:
  <hobojackson> i was walking around and saw a car going really
  fast
  <hobojackson> SO I SAID WOW THAT CAR MUST HAVE 1024 MB OF DDR
  SD RAM AND A 256 MEG VIDEO CARD AND A 3 GIGAHERTZ HARD DRIVE
  AHAHHA AH AHAA AHAHAHHA
  <spongebob> OMG YOU CONFUSED COMPUTERS WITH REAL LIFE
  <spongebob> THATS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARd!!!!!!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911437
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435226
text:
  <mentor> How do you escape handcuffs?
  <fudge> Are you in handcuffs?
  <fudge> Depend very much on the design.
  <fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite
  hard to escape.
  <fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits
  of metal that could be used to pick the lock.
  <mentor> backslashes
  * fudge hits mentor


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911438
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435498
text:
  <Alluvium> They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you
  hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it
  forwards, it installs Windows. :p


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911439
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435610
text:
  <fox> i just banged my boob and lost my dog :(
  <itchy> better than losing your boob and banging your dog


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911439
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435669
text:
  <Babau> Anyone know how to enable overburn in Nero?
  <live-evil> theres a big button with overburn written on it
  <live-evil> press that
  <Babau> Is it the big red one?
  <live-evil> yer
  <Babau> Alright, I'm going to press it.
  *** live-evil was kicked by Babau (I pressed it.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911439
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435763
text:
  <Ilikehorses> dude... how do u play this game?
  <Xenocideophile> it's a chat room for programmers
  <Ilikehorses> i know THAT
  <Xenocideophile> then you're good to go
  <Ilikehorses> no no no how do I make a game
  <Xenocideophile> depends
  <Ilikehorses> ...?
  <Xenocideophile> Depends what language you want to use to
  start off with
  <Ilikehorses> american


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911440
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435822
text:
  <FallLine> heh wtf
  <FallLine> some people are stupid
  <FallLine> i asked this guy to send me a log file from my
  software...
  <FallLine> either cut and paste the last 100 or so lines into
  the email or attach the entire log
  <FallLine> so he prints the entire thing out
  <FallLine> scans it in
  <FallLine> and then attaches the images INSIDE a word document
  <FallLine> and only the first 100 lines
  <FallLine> hehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911440
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.435872
text:
  <Hammer[TECH]> There's a new band out called Earshot, who
  sound a good bit like tool.
  <Hammer[TECH]> At first this bothered me, until my friend jack
  pointed out "would you rather have another band that sounds
  like tool, or another band that sounds like nickelback."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911441
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436063
text:
  <J-dogg> Your pretty funny
  <DirtyKate> I don't remember you.. but thanx
  <J-dogg> Wanna cyber?
  <DirtyKate> OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
  <DirtyKate> Who are you?
  <J-dogg>  I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
  <J-dogg> And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
  <DirtyKate> You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of
  your car..
  <J-dogg> Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's
  and make an order
  <DirtyKate> Haha! OK
  <DirtyKate> Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just
  dripping with sauce.
  <J-dogg> Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa
  John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials,
  and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What
  toppings do you want?
  <DirtyKate> I want everything, baby!
  <J-dogg> Is this a delivery?
  <DirtyKate> Umm...Yes
  <DirtyKate> So you're bringing the pizza to my house now?
  Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
  <J-dogg> Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and
  then I'll drive to your house.

  <DirtyKate> Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry
  up!
  <J-dogg> You can't hurry good pizza.
  <J-dogg> I'm on my way now though

  <DirtyKate> So you're at my front door now.
  <J-dogg> How did you know?
  <J-dogg> I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the
  shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza
  down on your coffee table.
  <J-dogg> Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a
  pizza oven
  <DirtyKate> Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all
  wet and cold. Warm me up baby
  <J-dogg> So you're still in the bathroom?
  <DirtyKate> Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
  <J-dogg> I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and
  unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey
  cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage
  are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my
  load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the
  front door....
  <DirtyKate> wtf?
  <DirtyKate> You perverted piece of shiat
  <DirtyKate> Fuk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911441
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436174
text:
  <osaka> You know.
  <osaka> I don't get why so many vegans have some kind of a
  beef with me.
  <osaka> Just because I bring home the bacon, doesn't mean I'm
  egging them on.
  <osaka> It's so cheesy for them to milk political correctness.
  <osaka> The stakes are high on this one, but they're too
  chicken to meet any resistance.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911441
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436217
text:
  wertis: im going to go pick up my brother
  ubermensch: i perfer to pick up chicks but suit yourself
  wertis: fuck you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911442
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436347
text:
  <irokie> be there any other interesting channels on this
  network?
  <maff> #bearcave
  <sxh> #bearcave
  <jestuh> #bearcave
  <Nades> #bearcave
  <Thuryn> #bearcave


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911442
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436396
text:
  <Ice|P> blow jobs r better
  <mk4> why because you get a load in the mouth
  <nim-zero> a load in the mouth is worth two in the hand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911442
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436460
text:
  <juji> but i'd have to learn japanese to play half of its
  games :)
  <z2-Fool> you don't speak japanese?
  <z2-Fool> and you're a slope?
  <z2-Fool> :)
  <juji> :(
  <juji> i'd cry
  <juji> but i cant fit tears through my chinky eyeslits


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911443
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436505
text:
  Takargi: Perfect weekend for me. Liverpool beat the Bitters
  with 10 men, England win at Rugby and Freddie's first words
  are Daddie ;)
  Takargi: Freddie was looking at the milkman at the time though
  which is worrying...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911443
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436554
text:
  <Mojojojo> omg
  <Mojojojo> there was some poo on my bedroom floor
  <Sureshot> yours?
  <Mojojojo> I DONT FUCKING KNOW


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911443
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436606
text:
  <nullstar> i'm not criticizing, either.
  <nullstar> well, i guess i am, but it's intended in a
  constructive manner
  <nullstar> which is the good cholesterol of criticism. :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911444
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436654
text:
  <cHiiZukAMi> lol, my gf knows how to play mario, thats so sexy
  <cHiiZukAMi> i let her borrow my gameboy for band and she did
  all these secret areas i forgot about
  <cHiiZukAMi> who cares if a girl cant do your laundry or stuff
  if she can get you to the donut secret ghost house?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911444
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436704
text:
  * Eudoxus has joined #math
  <Eudoxus> Can anyone help me write 1/(x^2-3x+2) as a power
  series in x and find its radius of convergence?
  <vrover> No
  <vrover> But we can give you a lollipop
  <vrover> Have a lollipop?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911444
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436827
text:
  <Tagrineth> You shouldn't hit a girl ;P
  <[justin]> i dont consider you a girl
  <[justin]> i consider you one of the gays
  <[justin]> er
  <[justin]> i mean one of the guys


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911444
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.436924
text:
  *** Ashy_Boy has joined #rpgfan
  <KeeperX> ashton: http://www.goatse.cx
  <Ashy_Boy> ?
  * KeeperX waits
  <Ashy_Boy> (^#*&#(*^$*&^$#(*&^#(*&^$(*&^#(*&
  <KeeperX> BAHAHAHHAHA
  <Ashy_Boy> FUCK YOU


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911445
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437017
text:
  <Katsmall> :( My boyfriend is in the hospital and nobody knows
  what he has!
  <spknsp3ll> katsmall: what are you doing tonite?
  <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Griefing.
  <spknsp3ll> well if youd like some consoling, i could prolly
  squeeze an hour in or two
  <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Okay... Come on by. I'm very horny.
  * spknsp3ll scores
  <Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Just note, that he got it right after me
  fucking him, and also that I'm a man.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911445
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437146
text:
  <Erth2rst> I'm seventeen years old, I'm home alone, sitting
  here naked, and I'm rubbing my nipples.
  <Erth2rst> If only I were female..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911446
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437200
text:
  <Joe_> I know a girl who's being cheated on, yet she is
  oblivious to it.
  <Joe_> It's funny, until I realize I'm dating her.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911446
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437300
text:
  <D1> why does cs give me that purple screen once I get out of
  one game and start a new one?
  <D1> WHY WHY WHY
  * |Chris away ..(autoaway).. (On/l)(Off/p)
  <D1> don't hide behind your petty autoaways


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437360
text:
  * Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles.
  * Lee dies.
  <Tash> Shit.
  <Tash> Its Rape 'o clock.
  <Kyle> ..
  <Kyle> What?
  <Tash> Oh wait.
  <Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911448
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437411
text:
  <MrFreeze> !google turkey+baster
  <drug|THC> http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
  <djcrom> see, my bot rocks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437502
text:
  [zekester] who the hell likes siliconed up tits
  [DreadQ] any tit is better than no tit
  [DreadQ] except them ones you pay some ho 10 bucks in the park
  to flash
  [zekester] 10 bucks to flash?
  [zekester] you can get a baseball bat for 10 bucks and that'll
  get you more than a flash


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437563
text:
  <Howard> My wife keeps getting sales calls on her cell.
  <Howard> I picked it up this afternoon and told the
  salesperson "I need two things from you."
  <Howard> "First, I need you to put me on the no-call list."
  <Howard> "Second, I need your credit card number so I can
  charge you for calling me on this cell phone."
  <Howard> They fell all over themselves apologizing and hung
  up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911449
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437625
text:
  <GauHelldragon> there was so much freakin' vodka at AX
  <GauHelldragon> they had a bunch of pitchers at a table
  <GauHelldragon> freakin' FILLED with vodka
  <GauHelldragon> it was crazy
  <Odo> are you sure that wasn't water
  <GauHelldragon> oh yea it might have been water


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911450
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437775
text:
  <@elf> my liver is more masculine than yours
  <@Vexer`> my liver is a female.. ofcourse yours is..
  <@Vexer`> but i bet mine is hot..
  <@elf> of all the dumb things you've ever said, i think that's
  the dumbest.
  <@Vexer`> i don't say many dumb things..
  <@Vexer`> do i?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911450
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437823
text:
  <Goo> ok when i think to myself "the nazis are coming, protect
  the churches" in a 17th century english accent, it's time to
  go to bed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437867
text:
  Walshy117: tv now. i need to get rid of some braincelss
  SeijuroSakeHiko: looks like you're well on your way


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437919
text:
  <boyd> mmm, he said he's now a linux whore as well as an amd
  one
  <saba> rofl
  <saba> what a slutty combo. an OS for people who dont use
  deoderant with a CPU for people who can't afford deoderant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.437973
text:
  <Death> Hey, Jeff, how do you kill someone when they're on
  your nick?
  <Jeff> Oh, easy /ns ghost nick password
  <Death> Thanks.
  <Death> Die.
  *** Signoff: Jeff (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
  Death)))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911451
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438028
text:
  <egof>I'm not that nerdy, I've only seen 30% of the star trek
  episodes
  <kaj>if you know what percentage of the star trek episodes you
  have seen, you are inarguably nerdy
  <egof>it's unarguably
  <kaj>you are not helping your case


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911452
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438127
text:
  <Fustard> fuck
  <Fustard> now im bored.
  <Fustard> oh well
  <Fustard> at least i have a cock and the internet.
  <Fustard> ill do something with that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911452
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438177
text:
  <eden2> t_r: heh, patrick and i went and saw star wars last
  night......and i saw the WHOLE thing this time
  <eden2> ...the whole movie, that is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911452
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438224
text:
  <RahRaH> hey theres an idea
  <RahRaH> to keep my mum off the computer i can paint all of
  the keys black


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438285
text:
  <akim> man, i fucking hate my comtech teacher. he's always
  riding my ass about something
  <akim> i'd like to slap him around with his stupid skullcap
  <goojoe> oh is that the uber-jew teacher?
  <akim> yeah
  <akim> im starting to think it has something to do with the
  fact that my last name is auschwitz...
  <mfer> ahahahahahahahahah
  <mfer> i mean.. yeah man, that sucks
  <akim> :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438341
text:
  <popemichael> I was in line to buy a new DVD player. The woman
  in front of me was having something delivered.
  <popemichael> The clerk asked for her 'street name' she
  replied "I don't have one I go by Shanice."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911453
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438392
text:
  <Abstract> So I was going to lick my girlfriend last night..
  And I was like trying to find her clit, but it's like a
  fucking labyrinth with all that shit down there..
  <LuC3D> Shit? Dude, you were in the wrong hole..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911454
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438490
text:
  <JonJonB> The url he gave me for gay porn doesn't even work
  <JonJonB> ....fuck
  <Fentom> YOU TRIED IT OUT?
  <JonJonB> ...no?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911454
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438591
text:
  [10:11] <meiso> ok guys im loading up mozilla 0.9.1
  <meiso> time how long before it crashes
  [10:18] <meiso> ok mozilla just crashed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911455
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438637
text:
  <timh> okay, kraken- you don't need to know a person before
  you talk to them.  otherwise there would be severe
  bootstrapping issues with human interaction


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911455
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438771
text:
  <ruckuz> but then again i was really poor as a child. good
  thing i was a boy otherwise i wouldn't have had anything to
  play with


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911456
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438823
text:
  <Velk> I have my school pay phones on my cell contact list
  <Velk> my friend and I plan to go to New York city and take
  down as many pay phone numbers as we can
  <Velk> and single out a person, and every payphone he passes
  we'll call
  <Velk> just to creep him out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911456
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438934
text:
  <yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend
  the other night....
  <yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get
  item" sound from Legend of Zelda.
  <yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
  <yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing.  The timing
  on that was impeccable.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911457
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.438997
text:
  <SS|Away|Dreaming|> RUSSIAN ROULETTE - Take your chances.  2:1
  odds. Type @pull to see if you win or lose - If you loose you
  get kicked.
  <SPiN|> @pull
  <Hsu> @pull
  <Deverz> @pull
  <Deverz> @pull
  <Hsu> @pull
  <SPiN|> @pull
  <Hsu> @pull
  <Deverz> @pull
  <Hsu> @pull
  Quits: SS|Away|Dreaming| (SierraSoni@AC829966.ipt.aol.com)
  (Excess Flood)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911457
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439123
text:
  <MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR
  movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
  <MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell
  loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
  <MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while
  screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas
  could have done it better."
  <MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and
  shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
  jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to
  your seat.
  <MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a
  sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
  <MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
  <MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf
  went to Hogwarts
  <MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with
  "Mr. Anderson."
  <MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at
  the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
  <MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive
  to Ethiopians
  <MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the
  end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
  <MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of
  you on the back of the neck.
  <MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle
  of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
  <MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout
  "Barbecue!"
  <MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the
  next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to
  assassinate Frodo Baggins
  <MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war,
  stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
  <MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's
  what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get
  kicked out of the theatre.
  <MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire,
  "Where's Waldo?"
  <MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is
  a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
  <MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
  <MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter
  and wander around looking terribly confused.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911457
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439172
text:
  <BadAndy> leechers wanna stop leeching for a bit?
  <frankster|kickme> that's like asking them to stop breathing
  for a bit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439275
text:
  <daenonok> texas vs iraq round one
  <b1u3> im not particularly worried that iraq start sending ppl
  over here...but i live in ca, right on the coast, if they did
  i'd taste the first wave
  <b1u3> so right now im sittin here, all the lights turned off,
  in my faded army fatiques, new tank of co2 in my paintball
  gun, ready to give anyone to come through my door a hell of a
  bruise


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439323
text:
  <intense>john you check your ass for used condoms? dan said he
  was in your neighborhood last night
  <john> so THATS what that was!
  <john> i thought it was some bad beef from BlackEYed Pea


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439373
text:
  <bossan> When I die, I want my last words to be some harsh
  call that will haunt some poor bastard forever. Like, just say
  to the doctor "your shirt is terrible; one of us will have to
  go", then die.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911458
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439429
text:
  <fry> i remember the first time i had a boner i thought it was
  cacner or something
  <fry> because i used to be smart and shit and i learned in
  class that tumers were "uncontrolled growths"
  <Raven> Then you found the internet. And now you can't even
  spell cancer. Or tumors.
  <fry> ...
  <fry> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439470
text:
  Pikeman: I wonder if sex in heaven is considered necrophilia.
  Pikeman: Or hell.
  *** Jam (Jam@217.137.88.9) has joined #ev3
  Pikeman: Jam, wanna test my theory?
  Jam: sure
  forge: Heh.
  Jam: do i have to get naked?
  forge: In a way...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911459
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439515
text:
  (ori) I just watched the movie "Malcolm X"!!
  (ori) but I have a question
  (ori) What happend to the other nine malcolm movies?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911460
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439615
text:
  <Guilty> <v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut
  butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next
  person has a REALLY good idea what i did
  <Guilty> Approve Kill Nothing
  <logik_> kill
  <Mdar> kill
  <gfjgfjgfj> what does nothing do?
  <Mdar> is that a rhetorical question?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439797
text:
  <KrayZie> you know what pisses me off
  <KrayZie> all those damn contests that offer as their grand
  prizes and all expenses paid vacation to hawaii.
  <KrayZie> funny part is, contests in hawaii offer that as
  their prizes as well


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439856
text:
  <iMP> my friend just told me a horrible story
  <iMP> so, he came to a shop on his bike and left it at the
  entrance
  <iMP> he was inside the shop only for about 5 minutes
  <iMP> when he came out, the bike was still there, but
  obviously something was wrong
  <iMP> taking a close look, he noticed the absense of pedals.
  <iMP> the country where people steal things they don't need at
  all just out of boredom has no future :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911461
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439906
text:
  <d-snp> Warning, premature end of input, use <Shift> + <Enter>
  to avoid this message.
  <d-snp> Maple tells me the same thing all the girls do :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911462
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.439965
text:
  <Bug^> is it the fken law u cant sell piss on good friday?
  <Numloxx> Bug^ no, but jesus will cry if u do
  <Bug^> fuck jesus
  <Bug^> i'll nail that cunt to a stake if he complains
  <Numloxx> that'll make him cry too
  <Bug^> thats his problem
  <BenZor> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911462
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440014
text:
  <TC> I have a very bad fear of unknown places
  <Nastard> like the congo, or the african deserts, or a
  vagina...
  <TC> I dont fear African Deserts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911462
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440061
text:
  <Silent|Study> These Christian rock ads on tv are so pathetic
  <Silent|Study> Its like they assume people are going to
  suddenly think "OMG! JESUS! I never knew!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911462
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440125
text:
  <+AdamR> bahahahahahah just got a reply from zen about that
  gateway being named "gay-dsl1"
  <Er00`> Oh?
  <Pru> WEEEEEEEEEEEE
  <+AdamR> Hi Adam, All of our DSL gateways are named after
  renowned philosophers, in this case Gay is named for John Gay,
  see the below website for more information; http://
  www.philosophypages.com/dy/g.htm
  <TheDon> rofl
  <+AdamR> notice how there isnt a picture of him on that site
  <Er00`> Hehe
  <+AdamR> thats the best fucking techincal support response
  i've ever had


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911463
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440196
text:
  <sic1> so you tried to go home
  <sic1> and it wouldn't start?
  <sp4nk> Indeed.
  <sp4nk> I wish I knew a thing or two about cars.
  <sp4nk> I wonder if there's a troubleshooter online that's
  like Microsoft's thing.
  <sp4nk> Problem: My car will not start.
  <sic1> HAHAHA
  <sp4nk> Suggestion: Have you tried turning the key?
  <sp4nk> [ ] Yes, this solved the problem.
  <sp4nk> [x] No, the car still will not start.
  <sp4nk> This troubleshooter is unable to solve your problem.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911463
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440243
text:
  <Archeoptrix> Some girl I know is goign to open up an abortion
  clinic called "Humpty Dumpty" when she grows up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911463
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440295
text:
  striker gossips: Lol. My girlfriend just called me and wanted
  to hang out
  striker gossips: I told her i couldn't, because my character
  died and i had to get his stuff back
  striker gossips: wanna hear the funny thing?
  striker gossips: it didn't really die.
  ivan gossips: lol, you're a f'ing loser.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911464
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440370
text:
  <MelissaGod> lol, I accidentally just flushed the toilet and
  the pipe for the toilets was off in the basement and mine and
  everyone elses urine went all over
  <MelissaGod> wills parents not happy :(
  <MelissaGod> i thought it was funny but i tried my hardest not
  to laugh
  <TheSpatulaOfLove> well
  <TheSpatulaOfLove> that's a greeting
  <MelissaGod> the people in the basement with mine and everyone
  elses urine on them were not please
  <MelissaGod> ho hum
  <MelissaGod> pleased*
  <MelissaGod> just thought i'd share
  <MelissaGod> gotta go match socks...
  * MelissaGod has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset
  by peer))
  <Ouroboros> Um.
  <Arilyn> hahaha
  <Ouroboros> I think it's safe to say that E-van doesn't date
  her for her intelligence.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911464
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440476
text:
  <Plutwrk> t1
  <RonZombie> MORE LIKE 1DUMB
  <RonZombie> i mean
  <RonZombie> Tdumb
  <RonZombie> nevermind
  <RonZombie> SCREW YOU


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911464
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440524
text:
  <DJCubby> those nintendo songs are apparently done by New
  Tokyo Philharmonic
  <DJCubby> I think
  <SomeGuy> The Old Tokyo Philharmonic missed a beat and they
  all commited seppuku.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911465
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440586
text:
  <drakin> 6666666666666op''''''
  <drakin> sorry, turn my back and a kitty sits on the
  keyboard..
  <Stokesy> fuck you all you fucking fuckers
  <Stokesy> sorry, that was my parrot
  <drakin> isnt it spelt torrettes..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911465
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440682
text:
  <tReMeR>  /penis lengthen 13.5 inches
  <nattydr00g> penis Unknown command
  <tReMeR> damn these servers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440758
text:
  <RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and
  my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
  <RushMore> guess what he said
  <RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440827
text:
  <Mcme> Just got the last skiing of the season done
  <Microshrimp> I am banned from skiing
  <fear> Storytime?
  <Mcme> How does one get banned from skiing?
  <Microshrimp> after the last time I tried it.... couldn't
  figure out how to stop and I was headed toward about 10 people
  who were standing in a circle talking.  It was like human
  bowling.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911466
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440877
text:
  <Rev> my house of 1000 corpses download is done
  <ix> what a waste of bandwidth
  <@Volsus> unless that's a sims expansion pack


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911467
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.440967
text:
  <geist> watching the Bridges of Madison County always evokes a
  lot of emotions in me
  <p_digga> is vomit an emotion?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911467
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441019
text:
  <ToXiC> i bet in < 2 years, when someone get's pulled over by
  the police, they will hear "Can I please have your MSN
  Passport"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441136
text:
  <Toad> I remember my brother's 21st. It was in a university
  hall and all I remember was eating a lot of asparagus.
  <Toad> And speeches about people with briefcases.
  <Chris_A> Toad, I think that was possibly a board meeting.
  <Toad> It might've been!
  <Chris_A> Did you come out with a slice of cake, or documents
  detailing the fiscal productivity of the 1998 year-end?
  <Toad> This joke is now stale.
  <NapkinEater> like the cake
  <Chris_A> Like the c-- bugger.
  <NuttO> Was the cake stale-- FUCK.
  <Chris_A> There are no original quips left in this universe,
  we must recolonise immediately.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441187
text:
  <Valkyrie> no, but Westlife is fake
  <Valkyrie> Flying without wings?
  <Valkyrie> PUHLEAZE
  <Valkyrie> more like getting high on KFC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441237
text:
  <ReeferCpe> ugh, just some bangbus porn
  <ReeferCpe> two PALE ass people
  <ReeferCpe> it was like watching ghosts fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911468
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441294
text:
  <Holly> So I got my period, and i was bleeding, and my pad
  leaked
  <Jesse> Really?
  <Holly> Yeah, and it leaked everywhere! And so i had to go
  into the doctors, and they had to shave my vagina, it wasnt
  good
  <Jesse> Wow, i cant believe youre telling me this
  <Holly> Well...its just girl talk
  <Jesse> Jesse is a guy's name too


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441344
text:
  <Arameth> wow if the bible was an rpg then judas was damn
  poor. he sold out for thirty silver, that is three gold
  pieces, you can only just buy a dagger for that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441396
text:
  <nxn> dude I'm playing tic tac toe with this chick over a
  doodle drawing thing
  <nxn> I put down an X in the middle and she's like "OMFG
  CAMPER!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441459
text:
  * rob` pokes richard.. do an ls `yes`.  I dare you

  [five minutes pass]

  <phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
  sleeping for 30 seconds.
  <phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
  sleeping for 30 seconds.
  <phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
  sleeping for 30 seconds.
  <phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
  sleeping for 30 seconds.
  * rob` .. snickers madly
  <Zibblsnrt> Ooh, neat
  <phenyx> real funny.
  <rob`> I didn't think anyone'd actually _do_ it.
  <phenyx> I have enough money to drive to vancouver and kick
  your ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911469
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441511
text:
  <Magus> # robots.txt for http://www.riaa.com/
  <Magus> # questions contact blong@riaa.com
  <Magus> User-agent: *
  <Magus> Disallow: /temp/
  <Magus> Disallow: /admin/
  * Magus cracks up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911470
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441568
text:
  <Wolfy> if i ain't a geek i'm certainly not a nerd :p
  <Wolfy> so that leaves normal or extrovert
  <Wolfy> :p
  <+damadm00> or 'wanker'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441705
text:
  <FriedGold> Gentlemen... welcome to recursion club.  The first
  rule is: you do not talk about recursion club.  The next rule
  is: see first rule.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441771
text:
  <JDigital> Hacking dates back to early Roman times. However,
  back then there was very little to 'hack' - only stone
  tablets.
  <JDigital> People who would sneak in at night and change the
  contents of a stone tablet by 'hacking' at it with a hammer
  and chisel... hence the name, 'hacker'.
  <JDigital> Those who did only damage were known as 'crackers',
  since they'd just run in a smash the stone tablets.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441824
text:
  <mhardyx> temporarily
  <mhardyx> left one is either going to be shortened or removed
  <mhardyx> and the right one is coming off so they can take the
  screw out
  <[Bardell]> IS HE TALKING ABOUT HIS BALLS!?!?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911471
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441871
text:
  <pupkick> 37?
  <devinfo> i heard 37 is any 3 digit multiple of 37, when the
  digits are cyclicly permutated is still divisible by 37, ie:
  37*13 = 481, 148/37 = 4, 37*11 = 407, 740/37 = 20, or oddly
  enough, this works in other bases too... 0x37 * 0x19 = 0x55F.
  0xF55 / 0x37 = 0x47, or you sucked 37 dicks?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911472
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441941
text:
  <TheWickerMan> My cousin
  <TheWickerMan> Is the epitome
  <TheWickerMan> of stupidity
  <TheWickerMan> I told her to clean the turkey for some dumb
  party we are having
  <TheWickerMan> And she puts it in the oven right
  <TheWickerMan> and sets it to
  <TheWickerMan> "clean"
  <TheWickerMan> and I was like "y u do dat"
  <TheWickerMan> "oh the oven has a clean setting"
  <TheWickerMan> so we all ate
  <TheWickerMan> TV dinners that night


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911473
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.441992
text:
  <Zeus|ViceCity> fuck my back is stif
  <Zeus|ViceCity> stiff.. lol
  <ZeroHour> next time just lay on your back, don't bend over


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442038
text:
  <Fugazi-> one time i was at sibley and playing football and
  this guy tackled my cousin and fucken ripped his nipple off
  <Fugazi-> there was nothing but a goddam bloody nipple


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442091
text:
  <tofuhunters> what instruments can you play?
  <tofuhunters> i can play the electric guitar
  <tofuhunters> bass guitar
  <tofuhunters> drums
  <tofuhunters> and saxophone
  <bobsonfire> i play the radio.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442143
text:
  <DontHurt> do i want to be here? :x
  <DontHurt> ^^;;
  <hakootoko> nah, you wanna be out having wild sex
  <Tirith> wild sex... like... beastiality?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911474
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442204
text:
  <dmsndlr> You know, it was kinda hard being the only jewish
  kid in a small town..
  <dmsndlr> I'm tall, so I used to play in the church's
  basketball team and everytime I stepped on court the ref went
  "FOUL!"
  <dmsndlr> And I was like "What, I didn't even do anything!"
  <dmsndlr> "Well you did kill Jesus."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442254
text:
  <@grim^> one time
  <@grim^> I had my dick in this girl
  <@grim^> and it was nice
  <@jonoblows> and then the doctor pulled you all the way out,
  right?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911475
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442312
text:
  <Raptorx5> So I found a prepaid cellphone the other day at
  school.
  <Raptorx5> Swear to god I did.
  <Raptorx5> It had a small amount of airtime left.
  <Raptorx5> And a shitload of contacts.
  <Raptorx5> I called "Mommy" and left a voicemail "Your child
  is dead" in a low toned whisper. And then I ran out of
  airtime.
  <Osmodius> I love you :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911476
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442405
text:
  <hoolar> i haf to go in to the doctor to get my colon examed
  tommorow
  <tReMeR> At least its not a anal exam!
  <tReMeR> o wait..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911476
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442462
text:
  <Argus> it blows a new asshole out when i put it in though
  <Basic> does it get hot in there?
  <Basic> .......
  <Basic> oh god
  <Basic> don't even submit that
  <Basic> oh, come on.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911476
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442515
text:
  <Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to
  drinking.
  <Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.
  <@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.
  <Xnoia> I do.
  <@RWolf> did.
  <Xnoia> Damn it!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911477
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442588
text:
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber?
  <shiroi>sure
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your
  pants
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>..
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello?
  <shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool.
  <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this
  <shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl
  in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life.
  <shiroi> You're probably not even a girl.
  AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit)
  <shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911477
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442730
text:
  <K-Ecchi> SABER DATED A GUY
  <Saber> YOU HAVE NO PROOF
  <K-Ecchi> YOU TOLD ME
  <Saber> I HAVE NO PROOF EITHER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911478
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442828
text:
  * Now talking in #schizophrenia
  * Topic is 'Welcome to chat for suffers and family and friends
  affected by schizophrenia - a brain disease.'
  * Set by para on Tue Nov 14 18:00:23
  <CaffeineBoy> hey
  <CaffeineBoy> so... do you guys make individual usernames for
  your multiple personalities?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911478
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442883
text:
  <forsaken> wjer i at glemm sjoumd hav goe to 3 0 brwnloa thing
  <forsaken> am a bit too drunk i thikn'
  <forsaken> no i went to the brwnlow thin at gelnn $20 all u
  can drink spirits ma fuck,ed
  <forsaken> i can only type one eye it i type 2 it goes all
  blurre >??~!>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911478
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442933
text:
  <KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot?
  <KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to
  <RX> good things kevin
  <KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911478
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.442988
text:
  <PwRPufF> im a smart blond :)
  <nexxai> YAY FOR DUMB BLONDES#@$@!$! ---- I mean....ummm ---
  YAY FOR SMART BLONDES *mutter* lol, no such thing
  <PwRPufF> :/
  <PwRPufF> shut up
  <PwRPufF> hey soon im gonna have artifical intelegance
  <PwRPufF> hehe
  <nexxai> dyed hair?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443037
text:
  Sherri: A man comes home and shouts "Honey! Pack your bags! I
  just hit the lottery!"
  Sherri: She screams "OMG! What should I pack?"
  Sherri: He says, "Everything! Get the f*** out!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443095
text:
  <Gayo> I miss being able to type.
  <Gayo> It was nice.
  <Amy> ...
  <Amy> What are you doing now then, using telepathy?
  <Gayo> I'm dictating to my secretary
  <Gayo> semicolon close parantheses


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911479
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443148
text:
  <Hellfire_> There's been a dramatic upswing in tards misnaming
  stuff lately on p2p nets. It could just be WinMX though...
  <Cornjob7> I tryed downloading Blade II and got Orange County.
  <Cornjob7> The irony is that Orange county was better.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443202
text:
  <neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
  <neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
  <neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
  <neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
  <neo[soul]> fucking idiot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443260
text:
  <Mosqui^> but don't diss clothes
  <Mosqui^> clothes rule
  <Mosqui^> i love clothes
  <Mosqui^> and i love shopping for clothes
  <Mosqui^> .....god i'm a woman


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443312
text:
  <cynica_l> i hate babies
  <Gollum`> i hate people
  <cynica_l> i hate you
  <profett> i have 3 guns
  <profett> we can solve some problems


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911480
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443363
text:
  <Rambozo> wow
  <Rambozo> the lights went out
  <Rambozo> it's blacker in here than monday nights on UPN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911481
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443459
text:
  <hapry> Fuck, I just finished bash :(
  <k8k8k8k> finished?
  <hapry> Yeah...i read it all :(
  <treaty> you're officially the lamest person ever


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911481
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443523
text:
  Tarrock: Did you guys hear what happened at the tickle me elmo
  factory?!
  Julep Dee: Nope?
  Trey Blacktail: blew up?
  Trey Blacktail: *hopes*
  Tarrock: Well.... the other day at the tickle me elmo factory
  a man went into the manager's office and complained about a
  woman outside. "She's holding up the line," he says. "I don't
  know what we're going to do. We'll never get this done. You
  have to do something!"
  Tarrock: So the manager gets up and walks outside where he
  finds the woman with red cloth and a bag of marbles. She was
  wrapping the marbles in the cloth and then sewing them on the
  tickle me elmos. The manager burst out laughing
  Tarrock: He says. "I'm sorry mam. I think you misunderstood my
  instructions... I told you to give them a couple of "test
  tickles"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443577
text:
  <PARAD0X> what if I dont have 8 mb ram, or am not capable of
  16 colors on the graphics card.
  <Xalnop> if you don't have 8 mb of ram, you can't be connected
  to the internet... it's a rule


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443681
text:
  <Number-6> rabid fags wonder why people don't like them.
  <orff> i'm a rabid faggot and people like me.
  <orff> mayeb you meant rabbi fags


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911482
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443728
text:
  <addeman> after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no
  longer ask their asl
  <addeman> instead I ask for their BMI


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443777
text:
  (+Silver) man never have porn and pics of people from irc in
  the same folder
  (+nixon) you accidently opened nhm's picture while doing the
  dirty
  (+nixon) didnt you
  (+Silver) it was yours
  (@CH) I'd just keep going
  (+Silver) CH: i didnt say i stopped


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443831
text:
  <n> the only thing that gets him away from eq is beer
  <Doza> at least he hasn't totally sold out
  <n> what we need is a helmet we can strap onto him... with
  tubes that go down his thoat... and you hook it up to the
  puter... and it dispenses beer every time he gets a frag
  <n> then he'll play q3


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443889
text:
  <ck3k> i wonder how people with parkingson's disease wipe
  their ass
  <ck3k> that must be a fucking trial
  <ck3k> i bet muhammed ali has a whole staff hired just to do
  that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911483
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443934
text:
  <Morstis> The oath of celibacy in the church only means the
  priest can secretly sodomize young boys instead of having open
  intercourse with women.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911484
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.443979
text:
  <C-B0> i put a toad in the freezer... it peed then froze to
  the bottem...
  then my mom like screamed at me for a week or 2.. it
  ruled


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911484
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444076
text:
  <ducklord> You may think I'm retarded, but I actually know
  some things
  <ducklord> Like the square root of my telephone number


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444122
text:
  <booger> my two best friends laid off on the same day
  <faz`work> your left and right hand on the same day?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444172
text:
  <Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds
  <mk4> whats quarter chicken ?
  <mk4> like a quater pounder ?
  <Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444220
text:
  <||Rune||> and I do have it , but I dont dcc
  <Nullifier> Use a DCCondom ||Rune||
  <||Rune||> dude they break


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911485
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444287
text:
  <+miz-> You need to STFU, aural!
  <+miz-> :o
  <@Aural-Fixation> stick your cock in my mouth, I'd gladly shut
  up for that
  <+Apocalipstick> O_O
  <@Aural-Fixation> hahaha
  <@Aural-Fixation> why, do you have aids?
  <@sasseriansection> worse
  <@sasseriansection> he's got SmallCox


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911486
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444338
text:
  PwNzAgE33: ok so in assembly language we learned that
  processes in the cpu get set priority levelsPwNzAgE33: 0-7, 7
  being the highest priority
  PwNzAgE33: this is the example the book gives
  PwNzAgE33: "For example, a computer's payroll program may run
  overnight, and at PL0. It has all night to finish - not
  terribly urgent. A program that corrects for a nuclear power
  plant current surge may run at PL6. We are perfectly happy to
  let the payroll wait while the nuclear power correction keeps
  us from being blown to bits."
  PwNzAgE33: this begs two questions
  PwNzAgE33: first
  PwNzAgE33: who in the hell is running payroll and a nuclear
  power surge correction on the same machine
  PwNzAgE33: and second, if nuclear power surge correction gets
  PL6, what on God's green earth gets a fucking PL7?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911486
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444436
text:
  <Breadfan>this morning my dad went to go to the bathroom, but
  my little bro was already in there, my dad turns the knob but
  its locked, and in his deepest UT voice my bro shouts "DENIED"
  <Breadfan>My dad just walked away scratching his head
  <Dreyer>ROFLMAO


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444477
text:
  * Spin2 has quit IRC (Quit: On the roof of the Church of the
  Future, Malgaard gets the amulet. His powers are increased by
  a factor of nothing. Plus wearing the amulet around his neck
  makes him look like a gay disco dancer.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444528
text:
  <chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
  <xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911487
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444623
text:
  <BLaG> i wanna sleep naked
  <BLaG> but i'm afraid my parents will come in and take
  pictures of me and make a kiddy porn site on the internet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911488
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444670
text:
  <karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell
  script.
  <Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911488
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444747
text:
  <TygerinFL> Halfy... remember the house I lived in when you
  and Vio visited us?
  <HalfNote5> Yupper!
  <TygerinFL> It burned to the ground tuesday night.
  <TygerinFL> the lady living in it died
  <TygerinFL> guess we shouldn't have taken all the smoke
  detectors when we left


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911488
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444816
text:
  <Adamus> I wouldn't care about the bot if you didn't deny me
  access to the
  channel I that I have been using for this past year
  <M[]rgue> meh
  <M[]rgue> wasted youth is no concern of mine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911489
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.444916
text:
  <Krispy> you could double specialize
  <Krispy> GYN/PROCTOLOGY
  <Krispy> THEN YOU COULD DO THE SHOCKER
  <Krispy> AND IT WOULD BE ALL LEGAL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911489
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445016
text:
  <xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
  <phunqe> oh? :/
  <xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex,
  but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
  <phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911490
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445064
text:
  * ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com)
  has joined #maddox
  <ellisImbrius> ppl download remove tool for new worm
  'i-worm.mymoon' you can download here , while im online...
  http://192.168.1.2:8000/
  * ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com)
  Quit (Read error: EOF from client)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911490
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445156
text:
  <Fang> 2002 will suck.
  <Fang> if the way i entered it is any indication.
  <joshie> Fang: you entered it sucking?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911491
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445253
text:
  BogoMips: trying to figure out why my scanner isn't installed
  BogoMips: AHH.. NOT PLUGGED IN TO THE COMPUTER HAHAH
  BogoMips: i wonder how i even manage to feed myself sometimes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911491
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445303
text:
  <lnp4668> !lastwords
  <DMBot> 747. "They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"
  <lnp4668> around 400 miles/hour.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911491
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445355
text:
  <FireEgl> so hurngy =(
  <tito> why don't you eat your dick?
  <tito> heh
  <FireEgl> I need something more filling.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911492
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445402
text:
  <Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of
  LotR
  <Hi-Nu> The problem is
  <Hi-Nu> THERE ARE NO FUCKING LYRICS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911492
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445456
text:
  <Frodo1234> Although it turns out that "non-toxic" isn't
  synonomous with "great for snacking" when it comes to toys
  <Frodo1234> Even though they say that bubble blowing fluid is
  non toxic, apparently you're still not supposed to chug it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911492
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445552
text:
  <someone>: how good does txt compress?
  <overmind>: rather good, they often can be compressed to 10%
  of their original volume
  <someone>: no, i meant which one compresses better doc-files
  or txt, because I want to export my icq-history and in word it
  has 600 pages, so which one should i take?
  <overmind>: take word and set the font size to 1, so you get
  the best compression


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445594
text:
  BluECliQ: believing that Mcafee is going to protect you from
  hackers and viruses is exactly like believing that republicans
  can actually protect you from terrorists


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445643
text:
  <NOFX`> once a week someone threatens to take te channel
  <NOFX`> its getting old
  <NOFX`> iwish theyd threaten like my anal virginity or
  something
  <NOFX`> i mean something im actually scared of losing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911493
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445705
text:
  <ViViD> Dude I'm still getting 20ms pings!
  <RTT> err thats normal
  <ViViD> Yeah but I just doubled my upload bandwidth!
  <RTT> Yes?
  <ViViD> Well why hasn't my ping halfed?
  <RTT> Dude doubling your upload bandwidth wont affect your
  ping
  <ViViD> Shutup you geek


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911494
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445777
text:
  <+Psylent> It turned out to be a good night in any case
  <+Psylent> and yes, this is all a thinly veiled ruse to boast
  about my new girlfriend
  <SteamedHams> you can't use irc AND have sex
  <SteamedHams> irc shoots out invisible rays that kill your
  sperm
  <egg> that's good
  <+Psylent> that's very good
  <egg> you don't need to use protection
  <SteamedHams> yeah, let the aids flow
  <egg> he's not african
  <SteamedHams> ahaha, his girlfriend knows that better than
  anyone


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911494
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445888
text:
  <+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
  <+|neo|> fucking donut
  <+|neo|> this is gay
  <+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
  <+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
  <+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
  <+|neo|> then it started bleeding
  <@Decco> lol
  <+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
  <sic6sic> neo....dont move
  <sic6sic> just....dont move


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911494
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445941
text:
  <Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would
  drink it.
  <Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in
  a matter of seconds...
  <Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.445989
text:
  <Taz^> i seen your picutre
  <Taz^> your like what 14 or 15
  <Kevin666> 14, and alot smarter then you, in meny ways


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911495
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446043
text:
  <Para> OH BOY!
  <Para> i just won a free disney world vacation
  <Para> all I need to do is pay $99 per person, and buy the
  plane tickets
  <Para> wow, what a deal
  <Para> damn telemarketers


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446140
text:
  <Valenthios> When we RPed that little convo with her and
  Gygus, I said "She seems to be quite beautiful, even though
  she's human."  He says "Bitches is bitches."
  <Gygus> Heeheeheeheee.....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446196
text:
  <NiN> fuck
  <NiN> you fag
  <NiN> i should sodomize you
  <Lily> Nah.
  <NiN> lol dude i got some girl mad
  <NiN> she told me who her bf was..she asked you know him? i
  said yeah i dated him...rofl
  <Lily> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911496
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446299
text:
  <Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a
  10 year old raduck
  <Radu> ...
  <Tac0> (took me a while to find a damn screwdriver)
  <evildoer> which ones the 10 year old/
  <Tac0> NO STANDOFFS TO BE SEEN
  <Radu> taco must not want my help anymore?
  <evildoer> WHICH ONE IS THE 10 YEAR OLD?
  <Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a
  10 year old, raduck
  <Tac0> that make more sense?
  <Radu> yes
  <Radu> PROPER PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING SAVE TEH DAY AGAIN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911497
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446350
text:
  <Dr_DOS> My fish get scared of pizza boxes.
  <Dr_DOS> They think they're giant borg ships or smth
  <repp0r> Don't put an anchovie pizza near your fish.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911498
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446395
text:
  Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
  onkeybutt87: they are?
  onkeybutt87: uh-oh
  onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911498
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446447
text:
  <signine> "PIPE YOUR OUTPUT THROUGH THAT, BITCH!"
  <far_call> "you can stick that in your pipe and awk it"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911499
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446498
text:
  <HNS> Sometimes I wish my mind wasn't so quick to racist
  thoughts. I saw a group of about 7 black people at Taco Bell
  and my first thought was "KFC is that way."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911499
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446539
text:
  Droogie1115: my grandma is coming dowm tommorrow and my mom is
  going to uconn on sunday
  Droogie1115: its going to fucking suck
  Droogie1115: i cant stand my grandma being here
  Droogie1115: because when she is here i cant sleep past 7 30
  napalm 256: she wake u up
  Droogie1115: because she wakes up and takes the nastiest dump
  that smells up teh whole house and i just wanna kill myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911499
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446593
text:
  <Trestkon> A girl got her tonsels (sp?) out, so we all sign
  the card, and someone gives it to her, and she's like "..."
  <Trestkon> cause she can't talk yet:P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911499
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446636
text:
  (@Hanky) does anyone in here no if Tupac Shakur still has a
  web site?
  (@DCx3) yer he updates it regulary


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911500
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446688
text:
  < Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
  < Laura> It was lost in a move.
  < Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that
  means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis
  in a jar.
  < Laura> This makes me feel better.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911500
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446790
text:
  <Funk> I need money fast.
  <wildkarrdex> ok I have an idea
  <Funk> What?
  <wildkarrdex> well you send me £100 by cheque
  <Funk> And then?
  <wildkarrdex> and then what?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911501
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446832
text:
  [PaleMoon] Video killed the radio star
  [PaleMoon] which is fortunate.. cos radio porn never really
  caught on


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911501
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446898
text:
  <MonkeyFlippers> Anyone know the capital of Croatia?
  <gho5t> who cares?
  <[steev]> MonkeyFlippers; google.com does
  <MonkeyFlippers> Who cares, gho5t?
  <gho5t> aww did i hurt your feelings?
  <gho5t> i'm sorry i care
  <gho5t> let's go look together
  <gho5t> i'll meet you at google


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911501
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.446954
text:
  <SaxxonPike> shit
  <SaxxonPike> I turned in a paper today
  <SaxxonPike> and just now realized the title said "American
  Herpes"
  <SaxxonPike> instead of "American Heroes"
  <SaxxonPike> fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447053
text:
  <Despondent> Got a problem with it? speak to /dev/null
  <Tricks> wtf is /dev/null
  <Despondent> I don't know, what is it?
  <Tricks> i think u do mate
  <Tricks> and thats probably the sad thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447104
text:
  <@Scarecr0w> Guest67082, we are the performers of a new play
  called " You are a fuck-wit"... wanna join?
  <Guest67082> ok


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911502
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447155
text:
  <voyweiser> what's the record for the most blowjobs in one
  day? cause i think i broke it.
  <LlnK> how many guys did you give head today?
  <voyweiser> stfu whore. i guess i walked right into that one
  huh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447221
text:
  <devils_trombone> Hey wana hear a funny story?
  <frogslegs> yep
  <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> does it involve clowns and ninjas?
  <devils_trombone> no.
  <devils_trombone> Last wknd, me and sum mates were down at the
  pub, and we see this guy looking pretty pissed.
  <devils_trombone> Anyway, we hadn't drunk much, so we decided
  to be good people and drive this guy home.
  <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> was he a clown/ninja?
  <devils_trombone> So we helped him up, and he fell over. Then
  we tried dragging him out and he kept falling over.
  <devils_trombone> So we drove him back to his place, and
  knocked on the door, and this woman answers (presumably his
  wife) and is all like: "Thanks boys, but where's his
  wheelchair?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447279
text:
  <ShatnersBassoon>Ouch.  Just been to the toilet for a poo, and
  I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy.  Suffice it to
  say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
  <Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
  <Kenny>"than"
  <Kenny>fuck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447919
text:
  <SLC> there is a new mp3 addon in the defalt mIRC-releases!!
  <SLC> if ya wan to hear a Backstreet Boys song then  type /
  quit playing games with my heart
  <SLC> some guy i just talked to said so!! he said it only
  worked with that song at first, to make it active!!
  *** SLC (badass@pc248.cab60a.comtrade.ee) Quit (playing games
  with my heart)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911503
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.447977
text:
  * conundrum takes over bos's mind and makes him buy a mac OS9
  machine instead,
  * conundrum also makes bos reformat and install BOB.
  <SlipperyS> M$ bob?
  <conundrum> Yes, is there any other?
  <SlipperyS> hehe wtf was that program for anyway?
  <bos> insulting your intelligence
  <SlipperyS> I thought that was what windows was for...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911504
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448027
text:
  <apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our fucking school
  <apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
  <apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on
  me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911504
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448076
text:
  <robb> i need to go talk to that new hot chick... getz me some
  kisses
  <robb> but she's like hot... and probably *has* a life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911504
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448153
text:
  <IDTL> but dude there were babessss
  <genida> IDTL, that's very often a warning sign.
  <genida> "Girls will be there." = "Girls will be laughing in
  your face..."
  <Malikat> when girls laugh
  <Malikat> their breasts jiggle.
  <Malikat> everyone wins.
  <IDTL> oh man I never thought of that
  <IDTL> What if they are flatchested?
  <Malikat> then they shouldn't be happy
  <Malikat> they probably won't be happy
  <Malikat> in fact, flat chested women never laugh at a party
  <Malikat> because they know no man will ever love them.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448202
text:
  Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that
  would get really mad, if she heard me say that.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448256
text:
  <b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my
  suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for
  that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses.
  Now I'll have to kill you too".


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448314
text:
  <Kwyjibo> the vector keeps throwing an exception when using
  std::vector<Texture*>
  <Kwyjibo> when i insert ()
  <hanzwurst> throw it back ;)
  <Kwyjibo> hey
  <Kwyjibo> this would a add a new meaning to the word "class
  struggle" ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911505
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448361
text:
  <PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea
  bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911506
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448457
text:
  <Marvin> I've found one, and only one practical application
  for "13375p33k"
  <Marvin> secure passwords


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911506
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448511
text:
  <zX-ArcH> my friend has a virus, he runs windows XP, every
  5-10 minutes his comp will shut down automaticlly, he must
  create new users just to even get on! if u know what kind of
  virus this is , or if u can help in anyway please PM ME
  <@CitizenErazed> it's called 'windows xp'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448603
text:
  (Said in #asian)
  <toxictele> God, it feels awesome to drive around the drag in
  my Supra, flex my huge muscles and wave to other white people.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448666
text:
  <NickBlasta> asl?
  <Cryph> unf?
  <NickBlasta> no
  <NickBlasta> asl
  <Cryph> unf?
  <NickBlasta> u want the cyber
  <NickBlasta> ?
  <Cryph> unf!
  <NickBlasta> fap fap
  <[H]Klypr8> parlor.asf
  <[H]Tongboy> lol, I come back for a minute on accident, and I
  see what looks like 2 aolers trying to mate


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911507
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448722
text:
  (Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?"
  (Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers?
  * Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his
  mother's present


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911508
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448767
text:
  <myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants
  and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
  <myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large
  elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
  absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911508
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448825
text:
  <Tisha> So we were watching a veggie tales movie
  <Tisha> and jonah, the asparagus, was talking about this place
  he doesn't want to go to
  <Tisha> but like the lord needs his message delivered
  <Tisha> and he doesnt' want to go there because everyone slaps
  one another with fish
  <Tisha> and I kept thinking "is that some secret irc
  reference?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911508
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.448915
text:
  <ChrisF-> how all my little niglets doing?
  <ChrisF-> we celebrating black histry munf in dis mofo?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911509
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449000
text:
  <AVX885> i'm going to break up with my girlfriend, she is
  cheating on me
  <sprtzntm77> dude, this is perfect... ok heres what you do
  <sprtzntm77> dont mention this to her, and get in her pants
  one last time, make it really rough.
  <AVX 885> i like where this is going..
  <sprtzntm77> right, so.. fuck her nice and rough-like and just
  before she is about to cum, pull out.
  <AVX 885> haha, go on
  <sprtzntm77> pull out and dont say a word. Go get your pants
  and put em back on, and say somthing along the lines of "i
  dont think our relationship is gonna work out, im breaking up
  with you. goodbye"
  <AVX 885> HAHA, nice!
  <sprtzntm77> so keep an emotionless face and dont respond to
  anything she says. While your putting on your socks, mutter
  somthing about forgetting to pick up your syphilis
  antibiotics. That'll really get her freaked out.
  <AVX 885> LMAO! This is golden, i have to pull this off..
  <sprtzntm77> dude.. before this all goes down.. i'll hide
  either under the bed or in the closet. While your on your way
  to the door, turn around and say, "hey mark, shes not gonna go
  for the DP, were leaving.. lets go."  I'll get out from under
  the bed, look pissed off and follow you out the door.
  <AVX 885> this is golden.. haha and I could just imagine her
  sitting there spread eagle on the bed with the most awesome
  expression of shock and awe on her face. I should take a
  picture as im walking out the door and mail it to her parents.
  <sprtzntm77> Fuck, if we pull this off, it will be the best
  breakup scenario ever. She deserves it too.
  <AVX 885> Yes, this is a warning women everywhere.. dont cheat
  on me, for I will seek my sweet revenge.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911509
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449057
text:
  <SporkPrez>  largo, whats it like being net-famous?
  <asr> whats net-famous?
  <largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of
  having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of
  the benefits.
  <asr> like groupies?
  <largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile
  to get used to.
  <SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia?
  <largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449159
text:
  <rafeil> i had a dream i had 3 penis's of varying legnth and
  direction
  <rafeil> and 2 girls were sucking on them, but they were
  sucking on the numb ones. only one had feeling. it was like
  the head of the hydra myth
  <helminthes> no.. not the numb ones.. oh god no.. {wakes up
  violently in cold sweat}


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449208
text:
  <GooberMan> sony were handing out PS2 condoms
  <GooberMan> the cover design had condoms in the shapes of the
  buttons ie X, square, etc
  <darknation> awesome
  <darknation> I always wondered about those vibrating
  controllers. Now we know.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449270
text:
  <Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday
  <Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV
  jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very
  loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!"
  <Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are
  nerds
  <Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams
  "WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION"
  <Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911510
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449320
text:
  <I|O> goin off to college
  <I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
  <I|O> dad got me a humidifier
  <xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911511
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449471
text:
  <imp0rt> guys i got some new spanish neighbours anyone know
  some spanish?
  <niiiiike> im fluent :D
  <imp0rt> K can you help me say
  <imp0rt> I would like to welcome you to our neighbourhood
  <imp0rt> sounds cheesy i know but they got some hot daughter
  :P
  <niiiiike> erm..
  <niiiiike> Me gustaria chupar los senos de su hija
  <imp0rt> You sreious?
  <niiiiike> Yeh, got it off translater tho XD
  <imp0rt> K ty :)
  <imp0rt> brb daughter flirting time ;)
  *** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: getting spanish pussy)
  <|t34b4gg1n|> That isn't right is it?
  <niiiiike> Course not XD it means i wanna suck on you
  daughters tits ahahahha
  <|t34b4gg1n|> You, sir are evil XD
  about 10 minutes later
  *** Imp0rt has joined #Rand
  <imp0rt> Fuck you nike fuckin tellin me bullshit
  <niiiiike> WHAT?!?! Man you must have pronouned something
  wrong
  <niiiiike> cos like
  <niiiiike> if you say "sen" "os" it means somethin like
  rubbish
  <niiiiike> so you would've insulted their house
  <niiiiike> its pronouned
  <niiiiike> "sien" "yos"
  <imp0rt> oh, i didn't know :\
  <imp0rt> ima go tell em again, hopefully they'll understand
  *** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: 2nd time)
  <|t34b4gg1n|> i almosts feel sorry for him
  <niiiiike> not me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911512
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449562
text:
  <Faldarith> I should give you some information on my school,
  our black population
  <Faldarith> is named Andre


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911512
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449670
text:
  <Dashiva> "There comes a special time in every young woman's
  life when special things start to happen.."
  <hibbert> every month, for  afew days, its ok to be a bitch
  <Lanfear> ...you men dont know how easy you have it
  <hibbert> whatever
  <hibbert> you dont have to deal with carting around this huge
  piece of meat everywhere
  <Dashiva> hahahhah
  <dogma-> lol
  <hibbert> its like im pregnant, and the baby is hanging
  between my legs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449769
text:
  <PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing
  chess?
  <PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me
  <PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row
  <PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has,
  "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449848
text:
  <Popgun> at least 24 people have died in a fire in a chinese
  internet cafe
  <Kuss> popgun, they were probably playing everquest, and
  didn't want to lose their shit
  <Argent-> Popgun - how many terminals were pointed to the
  local fire department website?
  <Popgun> they clicked onto elexa and self-immolated
  <Popgun> if that were the case, they would probably welcome
  the conflagration
  <Argent-> "De-ah hon-oh-ra-bo fiahman, we buhning up heah,
  prease send wa-tah, we no wanto stop praying evahquest."
  <Kuss> oh my god
  <Kuss> argent
  <Kuss> that's hysterical
  <Argent-> More negatives on my karmic burden.
  <ln> I'd be offended by that if it weren't so funny
  * ln gives Arg a token asian smack
  <Popgun> they ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, argento
  <Popgun> remember the trouble you had with Stalin?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911513
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449899
text:
  <Rambo> Have you guys heard about the latest pirate film?
  <Rambo> It's rated Arrrr
  <Nurple> Rambo, please die


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911514
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449951
text:
  <Jigsaw> a DVD and a CD are the same thing when they're blank
  aren't they?
  <Jarvik8> cds are made of pikachu skins


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911514
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.449998
text:
  <Jered> you should have to stand on a scale to get fries
  <Jered> "must be at least this thin to eat"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911514
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450051
text:
  <Linguica> penisgirls are all the rage in hentai now
  <darknation> men with vaginas seem to be less popular for some
  reason...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911514
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450109
text:
  <RattleHead> kinda like the fact that the drink hampers your
  judgement in female partnership for the night :P
  <RattleHead> Drunk Person: "Boooy, loook ad dat GOJUS womun
  ova deer!"
  <RattleHead> Sober Person: "Are you talking about that fat
  nasty cow over by the door?
  <WumpSmwher> 8-p
  <WumpSmwher> is that how you got your g/f ?  *ducks*
  <RattleHead> heh
  <RattleHead> yes..... *ashamed*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911515
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450157
text:
  rennsportt: im wishin i would just go ta bed
  rennsportt: i got a 9am
  Kilik423: why don't you
  rennsportt: tryin to install software  i need tomorow off a
  network drive
  rennsportt: installed it earlier
  rennsportt: but din work
  rennsportt: so im tryin again
  rennsportt: if it dont work this time, im givin up
  Kilik423: heh
  Kilik423: you know what you need?
  rennsportt: whats that
  Kilik423: more cowbell


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911515
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450207
text:
  Chutt: my wife drops an earring down the bathroom sink
  Chutt: so i take the sink apart and get it back
  Chutt: while i'm hooking everything back up, she helpfully
  cleans out the bucket i used under the drain
  Chutt: of course, i called out "it's in the bucket" after she
  took it
  Chutt: but apparently that didn't register.  so i got to take
  apart the basement drain


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911515
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450255
text:
  <mendel> now that I think of it, O'Reilly is to a system
  administrator
  <mendel> as a shoulder length latex glove is to a vetinarian.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911516
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450306
text:
  <@Vexer`> we went out last night to mcdonalds then to a movie
  with some muslims :P.. i was lookin' for you to see if oyu
  wanted to come
  <@elf> haha
  <@elf> like i would want to go to a movie with muslims
  <@elf> you guys played rock-scissors-paper to see who got to
  drive the explosive-loaded car into the theatre, didnt you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911516
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450356
text:
  <beretta> i just sneezed and smashed my face into my knee!
  <beretta> boy is my face red
  <mischief> embarassing :P
  <beretta> no, blood.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911516
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450414
text:
  <Westy> not enough porn chans if you ask me  ;(tv channels)
  <atdt> there's like 6 or 7 of them
  <Westy> none here... unless you pay extra
  <atdt> well, yeah. you've got to order them
  <Westy> bah
  <Westy> should be thrown in with the family packs
  <atdt> heh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911516
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450491
text:
  <lulzngigulz> there was this kid i met
  <lulzngigulz> and apparently he likes me a lot, but luckily,
  he lives far away
  <lulzngigulz> how do i tell him to move on?
  <WTFchristianOMG> ok, here's what you do
  <WTFchristianOMG> pretend you have a bf
  <WTFchristianOMG> that's the gentle way to do it
  <WTFchristianOMG> "Yeah, you can meet John!  He's so awesome!"
  <WTFchristianOMG> or, alternatively, talk about how hot other
  guys are
  <WTFchristianOMG> that happened to me, it took me two days to
  figure out i was being told to take a hike
  <lulzngigulz> hey christian
  <lulzngigulz> i think we should hang out
  <lulzngigulz> you can meet andrew, he's so cool
  <lulzngigulz> but first i want to tell you about luke, he's so
  hot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911517
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450549
text:
  <DC> like i had this pet duck one time
  <DC> he was the biggest fuck up ever
  <DC> and he was such an asshole to me
  <DC> and i would be like "come here quacker"
  <DC> hmm maybe he was pissed because i named him quacker
  <DC> yeah thats got to be it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911517
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450653
text:
  <shwatta> never drinking again
  <shwatta> went out yesterday for a few lunch time beers in the
  city right
  <shwatta> those 'few' turned into lots
  <shwatta> woke up at 9am the next day in a park down by the
  beach which is 30 kilometres away from the city... no phone,
  no wallet, no memory, blood all over myself with no obvious
  wounds
  <shwatta> the weirdest thing was that in my hands there was
  this little statue of a hindu god with a massive grin on its
  face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911518
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450708
text:
  <Jester|TV> im not much of a programming fan...but i guess my
  teacher was a dumb biatch which is why
  <Jester|TV> well theres some programming in the telecomm as
  well
  <Martel> I'd never done real programming until first year
  <Martel> I like how the word programming lined up 3 times
  <Martel> YES!
  <Martel> 4


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911518
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450766
text:
  <Cyclonus> Fucking paper plate cut my finger!
  <Red_Sky> Cast it into the DARK corner of the basement!
  <MossadMan> Along with the fish heads and condoms.
  <Red_Sky> Condoms, why the hell would he have those?
  <Red_Sky> That's like Jesus buying waterwings.
  <Red_Sky> He ain't nevah gonna use 'em!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911518
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450820
text:
  <Dalener> "Indentured Servant" is just a nice way of saying
  "Bitch ass slave"
  <Porco-Russo> "Landscapers anyone?"
  <Dalener> Did you know the Alabamaian with the most slaves was
  a black man who OWNED his mother?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911518
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450885
text:
  <][Omen][> This is the wierdest channel I've seen in a long
  time
  <Fahr> YES! it IS Omen! and you know WHY???
  <][Omen][> erm ... no Fahr
  <Fahr> about a week ago, all the members of this channel won a
  lifetime supply of pure LSD acid!
  <Fahr> they put it into a nice infuse and directly into the
  spinal cord!
  <][MoC][Gk> mmmmmmmmm superman :p
  <Fahr> GODS WE'RE STONED!
  <][Omen][> erm ... pure LSD acid would kill you
  <Fahr> yes, most of us are also dead...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450943
text:
  atria ventric: so my life is complete
  Crikers042: whys that?
  atria ventric: because today
  atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum
  atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better'
  atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer'
  atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it
  out you turn it on and you're done'
  atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its
  nothing serious'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.450990
text:
  <ZangTT> it's like a massive 300 story zombie john maynard
  keynes is wandering through california, tearing down buildings
  and breathing fire.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451039
text:
  <Aster> welcome to the cyber police network, because of your
  behavior and every one elses on this chat network, ffonline
  irc will be shut down in 24 hours, by your friendly neighbour
  hood hacker.
  (s) Server Notice -- Received KILL message for Aster from
  Spank Path: Spank (hack my balls)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911519
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451089
text:
  <axel026> i need help please
  <^cell^> do you have an appointment?
  <axel026> im french
  <^cell^> i see... thats a terrible disorder


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911520
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451135
text:
  <McFly> Note to Self: Make sure boxers firmly attached and
  functioning before walking into room of 8th graders.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451274
text:
  <endura> fuck women, I got me a national geographic and a
  bottle of gergins hand lotion, I'm fucking set for the next 10
  years


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451322
text:
  <zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
  <zs> afk for a minute
  <waffle> suicide does not count as afk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451372
text:
  <martin rockwell> life is like a vending machine, mate
  <martin rockwell> you either have everything you want
  <martin rockwell> or you're stuck in it like your fucking
  change


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911521
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451423
text:
  <Blinxuh> damnit
  <Blinxuh> I can't order any of this shit because of these damn
  economy fluctuations
  <Spudnewt> fluctuations? fluck chu asians?
  <Spudnewt> well, fuck you too, americans


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911522
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451468
text:
  <MikEE-Boy> shit. girls in #mp3rave are like gum in elementary
  school. you
  bring some for yourself, you better have one for everybody.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911523
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451518
text:
  (panthernt) but theres this big black-ish cloud in detroit's
  general direction
  <energize> that's just niggers reflecting into the sky


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911524
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451608
text:
  * NtG puts on his glasses with lenses thicker than the glass
  on the popemobile
  <NtG> the contact lens version is only good if you can fit
  half a tennis ball in your eye socket


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911524
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451702
text:
  <Puffx0r> how cheap is my family?
  <Puffx0r> we're about to go test-drive a car so we can get a
  free shrek 2 dvd.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451753
text:
  <Wehrwolf> From CNN: "Sci Tech / Featured Sections : Is VHS
  obsolete?"
  <SD-Crono> this is a followup to thier Future of Gaming E3
  2002 report with a Dreamcast picture ... nice ^^
  <Wehrwolf> Maybe their sci-tech guy is some 90 year old who
  lives in the woods


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451858
text:
  <jamz> hmm
  <jamz> I have a bottle of waterless hand cleaner
  <jamz> for car work and grease and stuff.
  <jamz> It's almost empty.
  <jamz> So, in order to stretch it out, I added some water to
  it.
  <jamz> In retrospect, not the smartest thing to do.
  <dan0_> this had better end with an explosion of some kind
  <jamz> and there was a huge explosion that could be seen from
  space.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911525
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.451946
text:
  <oDDY> did u take a picture :(
  <oDDY> of ur new shirt :(
  <OoROng> nah
  <rcg> your shirt won't be new by then
  <rcg> so you can't take a picture of it
  <OoROng> it'll still be semi-new :D
  <OoROng> technically, i'vehad it like a month
  <OoROng> but i haven't had the balls to wear it out
  <rcg> what's it say?
  <OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
  <OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
  <OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVV
  <oDDY> ...
  <OoROng> it's a fishnet shirt
  <oDDY> ooo!
  <oDDY> sexy X_x
  <rcg> oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911526
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452051
text:
  < smith> right, I just opened the yellow pages at random to
  the "scaffolding" page
  < smith> and there's an advert saying "ENSURE YOUR NEXT
  ERECTION IS IN SAFE HANDS"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911526
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452093
text:
  Chodeskius: hey whats a good name for my kitten
  Shniznite: Qwerty
  Chodeskius: that sounds so familiar
  Chodeskius: where did u get qwerty.. oh.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911527
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452136
text:
  <Radien> I give up. The PSO server is repremanding me like an
  angry Jewish mother-in-law played by Mike Meyers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911527
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452276
text:
  <tormy> hey when u burn games in discjuggler, under the
  advance tab... should the block be 2048?
  <DCBastard> leave the advanced tab alone
  <DCBastard> if you were advanced you'd know how to use it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911528
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452332
text:
  <Sevastra> nasýlsýn?
  <RadioheaD> iyiyim sen
  <Sevastra> <-- Ýstanbul
  <RadioheaD> oðlum türkmüsün deðil misin
  <BLiZZ> <-- Wýll kýck your arse ýf you don't shut up


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911528
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452379
text:
  <grem> i even told my engrish teacher my dog ate my homework
  so i was forced to gut it
  <grem> but it was half digested so she owed me a dog


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911528
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452430
text:
  <chobits41> You know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully
  working submarines.
  <chobits41> the Canadain Navy has two.
  <@Airs> lol
  <chobits41> So if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd
  never make it past the Gap.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452491
text:
  <Nephilim> No, I'm going out on a date with a girl that's had
  a thing for me since high school
  <Nephilim> And... she gives head!!!!!!!!!!
  <+jdp> sooo
  <+jdp> she will be repulsed at the sight of you now? ^_^
  <Nephilim> ...
  <+jdp> j/k good luck!!!
  <Nephilim> Damnit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452583
text:
  <GI_Clutch> I made a mixture of BBQ sauce and water and put it
  in a spray bottle.  I sprayed a few cats.  They were swarming
  with flies and other bugs only a few minutes later.  It was
  pretty funny.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911529
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452680
text:
  <Tomalak> Trouble is www.bash.org is like porn - you can waste
  hours.
  <Tomalak> There isn't even the finality of an orgasm to tell
  you when to stop.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911530
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452738
text:
  <_joker^> well you cant spoof on efnet
  <_joker^> i know that much
  <schmoe> again you make yourself look like a newb
  <schmoe> yes u can
  <schmoe> i wont show you though


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911530
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452786
text:
  *** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was
  donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my
  pillow..."'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911530
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452835
text:
  <Stuntman21> "Boys. Boys. Be My Boy! I want to feel your Body!
  Boys. Boys. Be My Boy! Do Not Be Afraid My Honey! Boys. Boys.
  Be My Boy! I want to be your lover girl! Be My Lover Boy!" I
  like this song. Does that make me gay?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452906
text:
  <@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/
  portal/view.php?id=30319
  <@kitten> JESUS FUCK
  <@kitten> THERE ARE NOW SEVEN FUCKING POPUP WINDOWS
  <@harb> Oh yeah.
  <@harb> Andy uses IE.
  <@harb> Sorry about that.
  < Danelope> Hahaha.
  < Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.
  <@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.
  <@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.
  < Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more
  cum.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.452952
text:
  <DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function,
  or something.
  <DigiGnome> I need my socks.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911531
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453055
text:
  <AnTrAaXx> wb Dark
  <Dark|Lord> wow.. I've been disconnected for 9 hours, and
  you've been here long enough to gimme wb? :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911532
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453246
text:
  <Leeide> i found some jewish rap one time
  <Leeide> it was pimp
  <Leeide> was like......Two Live Jews or soemthing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453305
text:
  <Kashan> I hate it when H-manga's try to be philosophical
  <dregan> Mehh.
  <dregan> "As I lay there, with the cum flowing out of every
  hole, my schoolgirl vagina stretched beyond its natural limit
  by a twenty-limbed tentacle demon, I wondered 'What is the
  stars, what is the stars?'"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453360
text:
  <FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first
  semester?
  <tatsumizzz> Like, low.
  <tatsumizzz> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher
  I had an erection one time didn't help.
  <Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911533
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453410
text:
  <error27> Assertion: token is identifier of typedef or open "
  (" of arg list of typedef'd pointer to function
  <error27> programmers always wonder why people punch them in
  the neck


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453454
text:
  (jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
  (jonathans) when i hit it
  (jonathans) it will go "COW"
  (orion) cows go moo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453501
text:
  <MisT[w]> guy just walks in and asks me " i bought windows xp
  64 and it only shows 16bit and 32bit color but no 64bit ..."
  <MisT[w]> o.O;;


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911534
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453558
text:
  <orge> !speedtest
  <orge> (_*_) @ 599Mhz
  <claws03> at 907Mhz
  <hydro-> niggers picking cotton @ 998Mhz
  <jestuh> s00p3r 4thl0n runn1ng 4t 1696Mhz
  <bos-> >=[ @ 341Mhz
  <bradley> jerkin it @ 306Mhz
  <DigDug> 207.4 millions of cycles per second :-o


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453654
text:
  <gallagher> why the fuck do my fingers smell like something i
  have never smelled before
  <gallagher> and it smells horrible


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453711
text:
  <rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
  <rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
  <Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini
  Diablo into your parking lot?
  <Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
  <Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into
  my drive way in a Panoz Roadster.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453769
text:
  <Produkt> how do i put a new picture on the gallery
  <Pi> ERROR: QUESTION MARK MISSING
  <Produkt> ?
  <Pi> ERROR: QUESTION MISSING
  <Produkt> how do i put a new picture on the gallery?
  <Pi> ERROR: TOO MANY ATTEMPTS
  <Produkt> youre a fag
  <Pi> PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911535
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453819
text:
  <tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill
  suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another
  bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the
  prices of a p133mmx
  <aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
  <tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911536
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453867
text:
  <BlackDeth> gb: ph33r im gonna be seeing spacegirl in a few
  weeks :P
  <LkTrout1> Deth is a boner.
  <blazemore> lk has a blackdeth.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911536
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.453950
text:
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> heh, so i an anatomoy paper due
  yesterday, and when i was babysitting last week i asked if
  they wouldn't mind if i usede their comp
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> the dad said yea, so i asked if he
  had a filter for adult material turned on.  he got a
  suspicious look in his eye and i told him that filters also
  block out non-pr0n related material, and since i'm doing an
  anatomy paper, it'd block out words that anatomy sites use,
  like penis or vagina
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> he said he'd turn it off on the
  condition that i would promise not to use it for pr0n and i
  said 'nah, i took care of that before i came over' and we both
  kind of chuckled
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> needless to say his wife was saying
  good-bye to the kid in the next room and they could hear me
  and not 10 minutes later i'm at home just wondering why my
  timid masturbation joke did more damage to that kids inner
  psyche than his mom calling me a filthy bastard who should rot
  in hell right in front of the little guy in that high annoying
  voice that women get...
  <ssj_gotensama> lol, you were gonna use it for wankin weren't
  ya
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> no that's the thing, i wasn't... i
  brought over anal invaders 2 for when the kid went to sleep,
  you can track web surfing history, you can't track what videos
  you put in the vcr
  <ssj_gotensama> well i guess the worst part is your out of an
  8 buck an hour job
  <sherlock_holmes|eating> no the worst part is i left my
  anatomy book over at their place and i don't have the balls to
  go over and ask for it =(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911536
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454006
text:
  <OutBreak^Monkey> just use my excuse, men built dishwashers so
  they didnt have to do the dishes.
  <OutBreak^Monkey> women should learn from mens wisdom
  <OutBreak^Monkey> buy the man a fucking dishwasher or do em
  yourself
  <JT> heh
  <^yob> hehe
  <`2L_CodeMonkey> no, men built dishwasers cause the divorce
  rate increased and there wasn't wives to do the dishes for
  everyone


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454062
text:
  <Cas> I used to enjoy going into Best Buy back in 95, do a
  search on them for *.exe, *.bat, *.com it always came up with
  a few thousand
  <Cas> drag all of them to the startup folder
  <StarManta> ROFL
  <Cas> walk away and watch :)
  <mystic_1> rofl
  <Cas> act innocent
  <Cas> always worked for me, they never suspected a girl would
  do that :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454159
text:
  <neo_alex> my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a
  fucking hard half yearly exam
  <neo_alex> i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
  "


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911537
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454207
text:
  <-- djjkotze_home has quit (Quit: setlife -> work())
  <lordvetinari> that's not only sad, but syntactically
  incorrect


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911538
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454306
text:
  <BoB_JonEz> well its true
  <BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass
  the tan test
  <BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911538
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454354
text:
  <flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\"
  is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club
  tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes
  a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911539
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454504
text:
  <BedBoB> ERR: scsi_wait_goat() no goat.
  <lsd> i'm sure i don't remember having any goats near my old
  all-SCSI amiga
  <Bruce> the mac II here doesnt need goats either
  <BedBoB> they have inbuilt goats
  <lsd> on-board goat controller


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911539
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454571
text:
  BillyLove:  Half awake, some of my large mammal friends and I
  are sitting around playing Scatergories at around 1 AM.
  BillyLove:  Then out of noware we get the subject "Things
  you've never tasted" and the letter C... BillyLove:  We
  thaught that was bad till be got the letter N and the
  fallowing subjects: "Things that are black," "Things you save
  up to buy," "Tools," and "Things your afraid of."
  BillLove:  Right before we got the letter H and "People who
  work at night", we got W and "Female athletes", then someone
  yells out "WHO CARES?" That's the last time we play that late.
  Bufford:  I think our game of Apples to Apples was worse. The
  word was "spicy" and someone played the card that said "JFK
  Assassination."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454626
text:
  <gwizz> so i broke our microwave today
  <gwizz> luckily best buy still sold the same model
  <gwizz> so i go get it, bring it home, set it up, and hide the
  box in my car
  <gwizz> my parents get back and my mom goes 'did you clean the
  microwave?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911540
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454671
text:
  DarkNeo: Pedophilia is like golf,
  DarkNeo: you hit for the lowest you can
  DarkNeo: It's all good till it gets to 18,
  DarkNeo: then the fun stops.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911541
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454811
text:
  jenmigrant: I've figured it out.  There are two distinct
  species of male in the world:  All the men I want, and all the
  men I can have.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911541
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454860
text:
  * Scout wants to die while having sex. not really.
  <Opoggo> that'd suck for the guy
  <Opoggo> think he'd go on?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911541
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454906
text:
  <whoamomma>: ok if we both ping tress, and knowing he is in
  UK, we could triangulate his position
  <whoamomma>: do you have an intercontinental ballistic missle?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.454954
text:
  * spockdude rustles smoothly and gingerly
  <Wyatt> spockdude: Careful, don't exhaust your vocabulary
  <furan> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455004
text:
  <sparkly> so i have to do this project in my class where we
  have to make up a store and create a logo and shit
  <sparkly> and my name of the store is gonna be called "less
  than three"
  <sparkly> and the packaging is gonna have a big <3 on it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455055
text:
  * [LooN] (LooNaTiK@host217-35-13-229.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
  has joined #javascript
  <[LooN]> can anyone tell me how to stop radiobuttons in java
  having more than one selected ?
  <nakke> if you stop calling it java, someone might
  <[LooN]> if people in channels like this stop being ass holes,
  i might get more help and then i might get answers to
  questions, but we cant all get what we want now, can we ? you
  mother fucker.
  * [LooN] (LooNaTiK@host217-35-13-229.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
  has left #javascript


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911542
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455107
text:
  insane_elmo88: sometimes i get serious anal pressure
  insane_elmo88: and i'm not sure if it's fart or shit
  insane_elmo88: and sometimes i just gamble, not knowing if i'm
  gonna rip a humonguous fart or defecate my pants
  insane_elmo88: so far i haven't lost
  weaselmaster07: rofl
  insane_elmo88: i've shit my pants every time :p
  weaselmaster07: roflmao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911543
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455160
text:
  Julliana`: I live in LA. Girls like to say "I'm not religious
  but I'm spiritual." I like to reply "I'm not honest but you're
  interesting."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911543
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455239
text:
  <Guera> any guys wanna chat msg me
  <ruggo> ok
  <ruggo> how do i msg?
  <Guera> i msg u
  <ruggo> i don't see anything
  <Guera> dubble click on my name
  <ruggo> with what key?
  <Guera> just left dubble click on my name
  <ruggo> the left key?
  <Guera> yea
  <ruggo> i don't have one of those
  <ruggo> the left arrow?
  <Guera> the left on the mouse
  <ruggo> mouse?
  <ruggo> what sort of computer do you have?
  <Guera> asl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455330
text:
  (skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in
  each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or
  tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is
  the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they
  dont have sex until they do it perfect.
  (Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
  (Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
  (skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455381
text:
  <CoMBo> <Robbin> Jesse Jackson should be president
  <Robbin> unlike you lusers, i have somewhere to be on friday
  night
  <CoMBo> yeah popeyes
  <_jube> shift starts 9


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455429
text:
  <Midnight> Damn... You 56k people will wait forever to
  download stuff.
  <[56K]Dragonsbook> that's because we have the patience of
  rocks^^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911544
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455475
text:
  <Gr1nR> I tell girls...\"I need a file - but its stuck in this
  archive named PANTS.ZIP - what should I do???\"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911545
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455523
text:
  <homerj> i'm going to see if that beam in the basement is big
  enough to hang myself from..if not, bbl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911545
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455571
text:
  <Colby> Some people are like Slinkys. They don't really do
  anything, but it's still funny when one of them takes a tumble
  down the stairs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911545
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455618
text:
  <Fryboy> can't hardly wait, party of 5 etc
  <ambr> i thought you were taking about serial cable
  compression there... parity of 5


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455662
text:
  NaTTiE 623: just a sample of how crazy ms. bauer is......today
  in health were were taking a test and the question was : WHICH
  ONE OF THESE IS NOT A FACTOR OF PREGNANCY? and one of the
  multiple choice questions was : pregnancy makes a woman
  unexplicably want to chase after and poison squirrels


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455712
text:
  <lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his
  bike
  <lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
  <kodos> speed on a bike
  <lukeiyo-e> peddling crack


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455764
text:
  <[oQp]> anyone ever used Delta Airlines here?
  <alec_eso> i have
  <[oQp]> how is it?
  <carlsb3rg> They always come down


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911546
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455844
text:
  <Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for
  example
  <Pat> its "neo"
  <Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
  <Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
  <Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
  <Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
  <Pat> yes
  <Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
  <Pat> the oracle is really a guy
  <Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
  <Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's
  actually the one.
  <Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911547
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455895
text:
  IoStream 14: LOL
  IoStream 14: radio
  IoStream 14: "some dude was having sex with this girl and she
  said stop stop i'm about to orgasm...he asked why stop? and
  she said i'm saving it for when i get married"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911548
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.455953
text:
  <CapnCloud> i have a screenshot coming... it's coming...
  hrrrrrghhhh
  <ashen|nekogirl> O.O
  * ashen|nekogirl backs far far away from CapnCloud
  <CapnCloud> XD
  <ashen|nekogirl> >.o
  <plubeard> ....screenshots have never sounded so dirty


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456064
text:
  <Defcon> Heh. I was getting a hair cut the other day with my
  usual barber, who's this 60 year old vietnam veteran type guy,
  really uptight and what not. Anyway, he had this TV with the
  news on, and suddenly they started talking about police who
  sodomized some hispanic guy with a broom stick. That caused a
  lot of tension in the barber shop.
  <Defcon> "Yeah, so, how about that sodomy? Probably doesn't
  feel too good." "Nope. Can't imagine it does."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456113
text:
  Far2Paranoid: Knew this guy in HS
  Far2Paranoid: Built a box with 2x 350Mhz Pentium2, back in '98
  Far2Paranoid: The trick was, filled his bathtub w/ glycerin
  Far2Paranoid: Took apart a mini-fridge and used the coils to
  cool the glycerin to ~40F
  Far2Paranoid: Then sunk the box so he could OC the CPUs to
  1.3Ghz
  Far2Paranoid: Coolest shit I've ever seen.
  AlbinoChpmnk: If this was sitting in his tub, how did he
  shower?
  Far2Paranoid: After what I just said, what makes you think he
  showered?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911549
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456164
text:
  <DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were
  broken into small groups and each was asked to state what
  skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good
  with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were
  amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it
  was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership
  qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a
  cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456307
text:
  <chrisg> is it star wars ep. 2 thats got the litte green guy
  jumpin about fighting and stuff?
  <grifferz> what you have just asked, is, to a star wars fan,
  akin to saying, "so, that bible, is that the one where the
  beardy guy conjures up a heap of fish?" to a christian


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911550
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456358
text:
  <_grunt> wife washed my damned wallet
  <_grunt> i got freshly laundred money
  <_grunt> my driving record is now clean
  <_grunt> a new social security card washed up
  <_grunt> wonder if the soap washed the debit off my credit
  cards


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911551
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456412
text:
  <Khalal> I never did understand that quote NG
  <NintendoGuru> Khalal: That's because you haven't seen a
  picture of Andrew Vestal
  <Khalal> What does he look like?
  <NintendoGuru> Think Richard Simmons french kissing and
  electrical outlet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456558
text:
  <Rayt> I blame Jesus for everything
  <Shu> I BLAME IT ALL ON ALLAH.
  <Rayt> Allah is kewl in my book
  <Rayt> If you can convince people to blow themself up in your
  name, you've done well in life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456606
text:
  actualism: if you bet an emo kid 20 bucks that he won't kill
  himself, you'll either be 20 bucks richer or break even


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911552
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456706
text:
  <noah> no I need a way to come to terms with the fact that I
  wasted
  <noah> my horny years whacking off to porn instead of bagging
  college
  <noah> tail
  <dr.adam> might i suggest bourbon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456806
text:
  <aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward
  because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
  <aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people
  would automatically start masturbating.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456854
text:
  [hardlined] someone give me a phone number
  (timmo) 867-5309
  [hardlined] area code?
  (timmo) 801
  [hardlined] whats the name "we" should as for
  (timmo) jenny
  [hardlined] ;-)
  [hardlined] the subscriber u have dialed is not in service


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911553
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456912
text:
  <FlyNavy> I'm on irc, discussing why I can't get laid
  <FlyNavy> and I realize
  <gee> muahahaha.
  <FlyNavy> I can't get laid cause I'm on irc all the fucking
  time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.456969
text:
  <+ajrez> same job when i moved across the street the cubes
  were lower, typical gray, and huge, 8x10 or something
  <+ajrez> at that location i ran some 2x4s up to 7' and covered
  my cube with camoflage netting
  <+ajrez> so in the middle of this giant room filled with cubes
  there was this bunker in the middle of it
  <+ajrez> CEO would give tours to investors... "and that over
  there is the security team"   "ohhhhhhh" /knowing nods/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457020
text:
  HDF_Red wakes up
  <HDF_Red> my mom taste funny ;_;
  <HDF_Red> oh man
  <Lord-Lard-Arse> OMG :x
  <HDF_Red> typo city


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911554
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457112
text:
  <RageATM> been sitting here for so long when i walked into the
  other room i could still see my mirc screen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457213
text:
  <prae> my sister is so goddamn retarded
  <prae> she called mom cause she gave blood today and mom told
  her to drink alot of fluids
  <prae> so she drank beer
  <prae> what a fucking moron


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457268
text:
  <assmongrel> my dick is covered in zits
  <xar0> ew...
  <assmongrel> no it's a good thing
  <assmongrel> i'm ribbed for her pleasure


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911555
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457327
text:
  Ryk> "let's be friends" is what chicks say when they're
  feeling guilty about shafting someone.
  <Ryk> they don't mean it.
  <Ryk> they mean the kind of friends that never speak and never
  see each other.
  <Tippytoes> thats the best kind of friends


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911556
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457378
text:
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
  TwistedSlinky: See.  Channy *really* likes you.  But watch
  out.  Now that's he's opped you twice, he's gonna expect you
  to put out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911556
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457478
text:
  (Twisted) you can get 7,200Rpm and decent graphics on Laptops
  (@randomPaul) yes with free crotch burn and the associated
  infertility
  (Twisted) Too true
  (@randomPaul) I don't see the damn point
  ! Twisted is glad his laptop is a) Broken b) Sucks
  (@randomPaul) if I need to remember something on the move, or
  do some work on a train.... I use a pen and paper :P
  (moredread) hey is that true? I know ppl that would pay good
  money for crotch burn
  (@randomPaul) no infertility there ;)
  (@randomPaul) "too skint for condoms? just buy a laptop - with
  an intel P4 prescott processor!"
  (@randomPaul) "the intel P4 prescott, with centrino technology
  - so you can talk crap on alt.comp.laptop.infertility!"
  (@RinSewand) hmm
  (Twisted) Newsgroups for teh win!
  (moredread) new definition for roast nuts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457536
text:
  <chakie_work> free(chakie_work)
  <chakie_work> time to go home
  <ahigerd> Don't segfault.
  <chakie_work> :)
  <chakie_work> chakie_work=0
  <ahigerd> I always knew you were. ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457581
text:
  <The_Spaniard:> The White House had an egg hunt today after
  which they had to admit that there were never any eggs to
  begin with.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911557
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457689
text:
  <DG530>  yo santa's getting foreclosed
  <AristaJace>  what?
  <DG530>  http://www.aohell.com/santachap11.html
  <AristaJace>  if santa was jewish then he wouldn't have these
  problems
  <DG530>  lolol
  <AristaJace>  he'd hire cheap mexicans to do the work and then
  he'd use oxy-clean to make sure it all looked nice and shiny


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457789
text:
  <Coyote27> They see me chocoboin'
  <Coyote27> they be hatin'
  <Coyote27> tryin' to catch me ridin' birdy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911558
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457839
text:
  <DeathStar> i have to flick my balls so the cum comes out
  <DeathStar> fuck wrong channel
  <DeathStar> ignore that please
  <Draebor> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457886
text:
  greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the
  bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight.
  greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o
  greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_
  ^


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.457975
text:
  Guan Yu: One time I shit myself in a McDonalds.
  Guan Yu: So I had to clean myself with my t-shirt. I shoved
  the shit-covered t-shirt in the tank part on the back of the
  toliet.
  Guan Yu: I came back a year later and the shirt wasnt in the
  tank. That means somebody removed my shit-smeared DBZ shirt.
  Guan Yu: That brings joy to my heart.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911559
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458026
text:
  <Toke> I remember that time i was talking to mod on ICQ
  <Toke> and she was telling me about how you guys confiscated
  your sons marijuana
  <Toke> and she turned around and saw you rollin up a joint
  <fodders_DS> i had to burn the evidence


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458086
text:
  <Cruzin3434> member me fag boy
  <zaim> depends
  <Cruzin3434> you fucked my grandpa the other day
  <zaim> nah dude
  <zaim> wasn't me
  <zaim> wait
  <zaim> what day was it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458133
text:
  <Kavalier> Bill Gates should build a 100 story skyscraper in
  Manhattan for his private home.
  <Seppel> Then crash an XBox into it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911560
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458184
text:
  <Jason_Bee> we'd probably all die if the stock market crashed
  <Mugworm> well yea, if it crashed right into your house


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458237
text:
  <tennisgh22> i was watching this porn and the girl keeps
  goinng "see!!! see?!!!! seeeee?!!!!"
  <tennisgh22> and i was like wtf see what?
  <tennisgh22> but then i realized
  <tennisgh22> it was in spanish :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458295
text:
  <@mcgyver> i went for a piss out in the bush once
  <@mcgyver> there i was
  <@mcgyver> wang in hand
  <@mcgyver> (shut up you lot)
  <@mcgyver> i looked up and there was one of those fucking
  birdf eating cunts about 1 metre from me
  <@mcgyver> i put my wang away quickly
  <@mcgyver> :$


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458340
text:
  <UKchaos> most semen swallowed: michelle monhan had 1.7 pints
  puimped out of here stomach in La july 1991.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911561
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458407
text:
  < enclaved> apple has apparently made up for its stupid
  miniipod
  < hangman> what'd it do?
  < enclaved> superbowl ads featuring people the riaa sued
  < enclaved> its pepsis ad for the free songs
  < enclaved> but, apple makes it posssible.
  < RageFury> enclaved: So it's gonna pan the camera around
  everyone in
  the stadium?
  < enclaved> heh
  < enclaved> they didn't sue that many people...
  < RageFury> WELL, Too bad that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers didn't
  get
  into the superbowl, or else they can pan the
  camera around
  the team and accuse them of being...pirates.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458461
text:
  <ck2k> i tap her car's bumper
  <ck2k> and she has this estimate
  <ck2k> 200 bucks
  <ck2k> fuck you
  <ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your bitch ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458510
text:
  <@Moonpie> if you get into an rpg battle with the plastic wrap
  around some sort of food you are the more stereotypical nerd
  in the world
  <+silv|LUNCH> it wasn't an rpg battle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911562
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458610
text:
  <plot> like they think somethings wrong with being gay
  <plot> so they join the preisthood to try to combat it
  <plot> but give into their urges anyways
  <plot> and their urges end up all over the face of a 12 year
  old alterboy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458665
text:
  <s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo'
  sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah
  nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole
  heartedly my African american brother"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911563
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458762
text:
  <RedMercury> i just checked easyspace for the domain
  fuck.sport
  <RedMercury> and it said its not available and recommended
  fuck.kids


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458809
text:
  <Ouroboros> I think the downfall of the Roman Empire was
  caused by something similar to IRC.
  <Ouroboros> The Roman equivilent of a lawless, perverted group
  of weirdos, if you will.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458854
text:
  <DarbySniper> My mother got a digital camera today. She wanted
  to know how many pictures it could take before she replaced
  the film in the memory card.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458910
text:
  <standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
  <standby> i feel so cool
  <standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
  <standby> well i allready do but it will be easier


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911564
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.458955
text:
  <Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my
  brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459018
text:
  <@Zen> So Sean's toaster has two settings:
  <@Zen> toast
  <@Zen> and bagel.
  <@Zen> But it's not a switch/
  <@Zen> It's a dial.
  <@Zen> So I guess if your bread is 60% bagel
  <@Zen> this toaster can handle it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911565
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459142
text:
  <Elfer> OMG OMG OMG
  <Elfer> I just had an idea
  <Elfer> ok, cats land on their feet, right?
  <Elfer> right
  <Elfer> toast lands peanut butter sde down, right?
  <Elfer> right
  <very_clock> right
  <Elfer> now, what if I tape a piece of toast peanut butter
  side up to a cat's back and drop it
  <Elfer> ???
  <very_clock> uhhhm the cat will cancel out the toast thing,
  cats beat toast anyday
  <Elfer> uhh, no
  <very_clock> yep
  <Elfer> I think I get some sort of physics defying
  contradiction conundrum and the cat will hover
  <Elfer> It's almost too simple to take over the world with
  this type of device...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459250
text:
  <Mosh76> TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS, HOW DO YOU STOP PEOPLE FROM
  SENDING YOU UNWANTED CHAT MESSAGES PROMOTING THERE PORN SITES?
  <Mosh76> Can someone tell me, or atleast tell me where to
  look?
  <eller> turn off your computer.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459311
text:
  <joshua> i hate this... i wish it could be like "what's your
  name sir? " "Josh Nieman" "oh, well here's the exact computer
  that's best for you at a price you love, thank you for
  shopping with Dream On, Asshole Industries"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911566
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459368
text:
  <human> beethoven and mozart should have had a kid
  <human> then marry this kid to enya
  <human> then have their children play with a roland xp-30
  <human> then you'll get some nice tunes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459423
text:
  <Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
  <Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
  <Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
  <Delidgamond> fuck
  <Delidgamond> said that wrong
  <Malbi> no you said it correct


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459477
text:
  <Thiefmaster> Fucking hell man
  <Pegster> what?
  <Thiefmaster> my brother just blew a mouse up in the microwave
  <Thiefmaster> he thought he could warm up his mouse for
  feeding the snake
  <Thiefmaster> iam glad stupidty passed to the youngest in the
  family
  <Thiefmaster> godamm the whole house smells like death mouse


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911567
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459524
text:
  <+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out
  stuff yourself..
  <+Christin1> how do i do that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459569
text:
  <Yomanman> you know, the only thing stopping me from killing
  hotmail is this Dance Dance Revolution music


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459614
text:
  <+{R3D}Hurricane> im watching the backstreet boys on
  SNL....and i finally realize why foreign countries hate the
  U.S. so much


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459694
text:
  (`zero)                    ,__      FISH RULE AT DICKSUCKING
  (`zero)                    |  `'.       /  BECAUSE WE DON'T
  HAVE
  (`zero) __           |`-._/_.:---`-.._ /     TO STOP TO
  BREATHE
  (`zero) ='.       _/..--'`__         `'-._
  (`zero)  - '-.--"`      ===        /   o  `',
  (`zero)   )= (                 .--_ |       _.'   (HURF DUH
  GILLS)
  (`zero)  /_=.'-._             {=_-_ |   .--`-.
  (`zero) /_.'    ``'-._        '-=       _.'
  (`zero)     jgs  )  _.-'`'-..       _..-'`
  (`zero)         /_.'        `/";';`|
  (`zero)                      ` .'/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911568
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459741
text:
  xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy
  program?
  linenoyz: no
  xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil
  rights?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459813
text:
  <Agent> [02:02] * king_away is back from Sex0ring my HAND :D.
  I was gone for 18secs
  <Agent> You should see a doctor about that.
  <Agent> 18 secs?!
  <king_minkus> :D
  <king_minkus> yep
  <king_minkus> my hand is good
  <king_minkus> DAMN good
  <Agent> I'll uh... take your word for it :)
  <Silent_Remorse> 18 secs? Your pathetic
  <Silent_Remorse> ;p
  <king_minkus> i repeat
  <king_minkus> my hand is good
  <Silent_Remorse> I pity the woman who you eventually trick
  into having sex with you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911569
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459862
text:
  <Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
  <Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an
  immense iron penis


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.459953
text:
  X Garxx X: i found a bag of little black balls in  my cabinet
  X Garxx X: and i was like cool chocolate balls
  X Garxx X: so i started eating them
  X Garxx X: and i was lik WHOAH THESE FRICKIN RULE ASS
  X Garxx X: I BET THEYD BE GREAT WITH MILK
  X Garxx X: ...thats when i realized i was eating coco puffs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460004
text:
  (sorry about the timestamps... they're required for
  appreciation of the quote.)

  [22:07] * JeremiahSmith falls down and dies.
  [22:12] <Howard> Let's not all rush him to the cryokit at
  once...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911570
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460074
text:
  <Tancients> "I must rescue the bunny and feed her the daily
  amount of carrots!"
  * Tancients encounters Serajadeyn!  *Screen spins and boss
  music starts playing*
  * Serajadeyn dresses his stolen bunny in harem outfits and has
  her lavishing in comforts in the top of the tower. .
  .surrounded by silks and burning braizers, a wine cooler type
  stand next to the pillows with cold fresh carrots
  <StolenBunny> XD
  <Tancients> O_o
  * Serajadeyn laughs at Tancients and hits him once doing quad
  9 dmg
  * Tancients counters the attack with long-named sword and
  returns the damage twice-fold!
  <Tancients> Ha!
  * Serajadeyn sucks up the damage, cackles and grabs Tancients,
  tossing him from the top of the tower: scripted battle; you
  loose
  * Tancients is glad he saved up all his extra lives for this
  battle.  Regenerate ring:  God powers applied!
  * Tancients casts Ultima ultimate imprisonment; customization:
  1 prison cell for Serajadeyn.
  * Serajadeyn taunts the would-be hero with a booming, evil
  voice; "YOU SHALL NEVAR RESCUE TEH BUNNY" (unfortunately it
  was the t/l's day off and some grad student filled in the
  script over the japanese taunts
  * Tancients strikes at Serajadeyn with his long-named sword.
  It shatters.  A stagehand quickly runs a new replacement for
  him.
  <Serajadeyn> @_o;
  <Tancients> :P
  <Tancients> What can I say, the quality of props seems to be
  decreasing with budget cuts.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460168
text:
  <Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing
  chess, consider me the next gary kasparov
  <WallOfInsanity> then I shall be deep blue and defeat you with
  my efficient machine-like bowel movements.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460226
text:
  <impl> If I were a cow and getting assraped, I wouldn't just
  be thinking
  <crimsun> you'd be using emacs.
  <crimsun> woops, ECHANNEL
  <iank> That doesn't make sense, but it sounds like he's making
  fun of emacs so I like it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460285
text:
  <sideburns> they opened a restaurant a few blocks away
  <sideburns> it's a lesbian restaurant
  <UncleGivey> HAHAHAHA
  <sideburns> err... lebanese
  <UncleGivey> "Hey honey, there's that new restaurant down the
  street... feel like eating out?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911571
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460333
text:
  <Socrates> why do i get .06 kbps from kazaa....
  <Socrates> thats 60 bits.. i can almost type that fast


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911572
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460443
text:
  Yami: Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
  cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they
  could
  live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to
  go
  to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
  all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
  Yami: The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought
  ten
  apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have
  to
  shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your
  face or you'll be eaten."
  Yami: The first apple went in... but on the second one he
  winced out
  in pain, so he was killed.
  Yami: The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries.
  When the
  king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that
  this
  should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
  ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
  Yami: The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The
  first one
  asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it" The
  second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
  coming with pineapples."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460508
text:
  <Mxeil> You have a g/f right
  <DakotaKid> Mxeil: No.
  <Mxeil> DK: How can I guy as intellectual as you not have a
  girl!
  <DakotaKid> Mxeil: Maybe because I have a boyfriend.
  <Mxeil> DK: Your a girl?
  <DakotaKid> Mxeil: Listen numbnut... I'm male. I have a
  boyfriend. Do I need to spell it out any clearer?
  <Wrexen> dk I think you need to explain the whole 'plumbing'
  of having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460555
text:
  Wolfe177: Me: "so when are we going to use this stuff in real
  life", math teacher: "when u become a math teacher"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460604
text:
  <balls> my sister is an idiot
  <balls> my dad was doing something with our phones, so he
  called my brother (who was at work) to turn off his cell
  phone.  this WHOLE TIME my sister is right at his side.  so
  when hes done, he tells my sister to call my brother and tell
  him that its ok to turn his cell phone on.  so she calls his
  cell phone, walks into the room and goes "hes not picking up,
  so i left a message"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911574
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460673
text:
  <^bat-sai> sendai :p
  <sendai> bob
  <^bat-sai> hows lismore?
  <sendai> ok
  <sendai> not horrible
  <sendai> :)
  <sendai> leaving tomorow afternoon   :)
  <^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
  <^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
  <^bat-sai> when i was 13
  <sendai> what happened bob?
  <^bat-sai> i was mocked
  <^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were
  there to play baseball on the snes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460720
text:
  (Pro_Mark) dOkTeR-- i jerked three times today
  (tp9com) i think doin it in the morn fuggs u up
  (ackbar) its because once youve ejaculated for the day theres
  no point in even being alive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460768
text:
  CAT g ON k: being given racial shit from a guy named "juan"?
  CAT g ON k: lol
  ATRFenix: yes
  ATRFenix: i made a big speech on how nigger is different from
  nigga, black on black usage vs white on white usage etc etc
  ATRFenix: since they were lambasting me on how i called them
  fag
  ATRFenix: they juan says something like, 'Ok, gook.'
  ATRFenix: then i told him to go make me some footballs and it
  went downhill from there.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911575
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460821
text:
  <namesake> if a girl has sex with a lot of guys, she's a
  "slut", but if I have sex with a lot of guys, I'm a "fucking
  faggot"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460873
text:
  <shane_work> socks go before shoes, underwear goes before
  pants, condom goes before penis
  <shane_work> whahoo
  <nem0> ...i don't think you can put the penis on AFTER the
  condom, yo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460927
text:
  <Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on wednesday
  <Patrick`> I'd better get pregnant in the next 5 days or I'll
  miss out on the best part of being a teen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.460975
text:
  <sandor> to a certain extent I prefer guys over girls. Guys
  rather punch you when you say something wrong, but with women
  you have to find out first what you did wrong, then apologise,
  then explain why you are a bastard, and then buy her a gift


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911576
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461023
text:
  (h0va) i could fill any IT job now.. and do well.. from my
  home computer
  experiance.. but i would never get hired cuz i have no
  credentials
  (cranky) h0va: dude you couldn't fill a toilet bowl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461070
text:
  <+______Ric> I wonder what would cause a sixteen year old girl
  to think she could run me.
  <+dami> a vagina


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911577
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461171
text:
  <TraumaPony> So.
  <TraumaPony> I am pissed off.
  <TraumaPony> My university's motto is "A university for the
  REAL world."
  <TraumaPony> And so they start off a game programming degree
  with six months of LISP.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461222
text:
  <GC> do you have any idea how hard it is killing flies on your
  screen when its a touchscreen!? you have to wait till they
  walk off a button
  <Mfling> rofl
  <mx> heh
  <GC> i swear they have started to get wise and just sit around
  on the close buttons of all my apps!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461264
text:
  Chronic Munchies: imagine if anne frank had a BLOG instead of
  a DIARY
  Chronic Munchies: currently listening to: nazis pounding on
  the door
  GenAmonX2K: Current Mood: concentrating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461325
text:
  <JonJonB> <FantasyGa> coz if u want i have this free user and
  pass to a gay site
  <Onyx> JonJonB: tell an Oper he's bothering you
  <JonJonB> Not yet dude, I'm about to get a free pass to a
  gay...um yeah...oper...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911578
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461409
text:
  <J-Mart> ok
  <J-Mart> this is the sickest thing ive ever heard
  <J-Mart> this girl that ive been friends with for a long time
  <J-Mart> she got plastered last night
  <J-Mart> so she starts laughin and told me that she did
  something really embarassing and she got grounded
  <J-Mart> so im all like "whats wrong babe"
  <J-Mart> and she hesitated
  <J-Mart> and what came next i would have never guessed
  <J-Mart> shes like "i took a poop in my closet"
  <wc16> ...rofl
  <J-Mart> and i didnt know what to say so i hung up
  <kirbster> wtf.... rofl
  <J-Mart> then she called back and said she was sorry and not
  to tell anybody
  <J-Mart> so i promised i wouldnt
  <J-Mart> then she was like "maybe the dog did it"
  <CJinx> rofl
  <J-Mart> SHE BLAMED IT ON THE DOG COME ON
  <[SG]> roflmao
  <J-Mart> and i stare at her ass all the time!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461506
text:
  <Decimus> raped any white women lately?
  <Lord_Mervyn> i resent that remark
  <Decimus> k
  <Decimus> was she fat?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911579
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461560
text:
  <clompers> if i could, I'd paint my room a dark gray
  <clompers> maybe a #666666
  <Azi> you can tell you're a web geek when...
  <Azi> you walk into the home improvement store asking for
  paint in a shade of #3264AA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461661
text:
  <cads> hey, do you guys know what kind adhesive electrtical
  tape uses; my borther put electrical tape on his monitor, and
  it left a residue when it came off
  <cads> so I need to figure out a solven that will get rid of
  it
  <cads> without destroying the screen finish of his (LCD)
  monitor
  <comemirda> cads - what happened?
  <cads> he was watching anime
  <cads> and he didn't want to look at the subtitles
  <cads> so the idjit put a strip of electrical tape on his
  monitor


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461754
text:
  <bairavee> small things amuse small minds i guess :)
  <Gothmog> which is why you play with yourself ben?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911580
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461813
text:
  <Phyresis> I keep getting linked to websites I've seen months
  ago, for something completely differnet
  <Phyresis> it's like it's some sort of web, or a network
  <ZS> is it called "the internet"?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461862
text:
  <Waxahachi> No. I am a programmer & I want friends that I can
  identify with intellectually and personably.
  <BoDePlOt> if i eat anutter peanut butter cup i think i am
  going to puke


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461909
text:
  <maff> I prefer replacing the victims house with a giant
  microwave that looks exactly like their old house


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911581
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.461963
text:
  <@Stapler[BTEG]> I'll be 19 in exactly one month.
  <+Stinger> Stapler[BTEG]: whens your birthday?
  <@Stapler[BTEG]> Stinger: Add one month.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462010
text:
  Maxx`: typing "/list" you are flooding this irc server!
  -  [quit] Rob_acid (Max SendQ exceeded)
  -  [quit] milashka^ (Max SendQ exceeded)
  -  [quit] Alinka (Max SendQ exceeded)
  -  [quit] Marakabez (Max SendQ exceeded)
  SkiF: LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462062
text:
  <Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> we have two horses outside our halls
  <Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> one of them is hung like a fucking
  <Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> i dunno what man
  <Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> but he has one ginormous fucking
  penis!
  <Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> I got a picture of it too!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462116
text:
  <uber> O_O
  <uber> chill out aj
  <AJ2> uber: eat shit
  <AJ2> wait, you're asian...you might make a movie out of it :


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911582
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462178
text:
  <ksennin> Easy E is the only member of NWA who gets any pussy
  <TripleRach> doubtful
  <TripleRach> easy e is dead
  <ksennin> what really
  <TripleRach> uh yeah
  <ksennin> oh man i lost track of my homies. :|
  <TripleRach> he died of aids many years ago
  <ksennin> aha
  <ksennin> So he did get lots of pussy.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911583
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462312
text:
  crazycougr: saw rick james died?
  phaded 001: yup
  crazycougr: 'natural causes'
  phaded 001: wonder what chappelle is gonna do now
  crazycougr: cocaine is natural isnt it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462452
text:
  <ar5WRK> Is it fucked up, to like, when she was sleeping, jerk
  off on her so when she would wake up she would have a mound of
  jizz on her body some where?
  <ar5WRK> Not like i ever did that.
  <ar5WRK> Just wanting to know...
  <ar5WRK> ...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911584
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462500
text:
  <DigitalChaos> ifi eightball shows up, tell him i'm lookin for
  him :p
  * Quits: DigitalChaos
  <acid88> do i look like aol instant messenger to you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462549
text:
  <karrde> i asked Windows to delete 36 000 files from a
  directory, and i ve already waited for 15 minutes and nothing
  resultes...
  <LoL> it is preparing 36 000 "are you sure?" windows


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462617
text:
  <Yurijin> HOLY CRAP
  <Yurijin> i was playing a song
  <SoSul> hellos
  <Yurijin> and forgot i left some porn video in the play list
  <Yurijin> and all of a sudden
  <Drayth> ROFL
  <MonopolyMan> XD.
  <Yurijin> "AHHHH <music ends>" "OHH OHH OH <slobber> OHHH"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462691
text:
  <Tre`> I've got to find away to earn some dough
  <bishoptl> sell some sperm. that's legal in the States, isn't
  it?
  <bishoptl> or plasma - that should free up some $$$
  <SHD> he's too young for selling sperm
  <Tre`> I need *a bunch*
  <bishoptl> sell your friends' sperm
  <Tre`> that's just disgusting
  <bishoptl> how badly do you want NWN
  <bishoptl> I'm not saying you have to go milk them yourself
  <bishoptl> just pass around the tupperware container


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911585
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462740
text:
  <DVS01> i read about some unix server dying every night
  <DVS01> so the techs stayed overnite drinking coffee to see
  why it dies every nite
  <DVS01> then they see the maid come in, unplug the server,
  plug in the vacuum, vacuum the floor, replug the server and
  leave.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462810
text:
  <Ali_> no canadian cars eh?
  <Egg_> no
  <Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car
  <Egg_> lol
  <Egg_> that would be cool if there was
  <Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though
  <Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose
  <Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver
  <Egg_> man
  <Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462885
text:
  <@Weedums> You know the rodeo?
  <@Weedums> When your doing a chick from behind then you say
  something to freak them out
  <@Weedums> like your sister bit me in bed last night
  <@Weedums> and she tries to get away?
  <@Weedums> And you see how long you can stay on?
  <QuickSilver> D:
  <@Weedums> Well... the best thing to say is...
  <QuickSilver> hmmmm
  <QuickSilver> ?
  <@Weedums> "I have fucking siphilis bitch"
  <QuickSilver> hahaha
  <@Weedums> But when she said
  <@Weedums> "oh I already have that"
  <@Weedums> The game changed pretty quickly.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911586
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462941
text:
  <GKSetzer> If I was terra I'd break his neck plz
  <JonJonB> If I was Terra I'd feel my breasts, then break his
  neck XDDDD
  <melusine> That'd be a messed up scene: Terra looked up at the
  sorcerer in horror, rage and disgust roiling in the pit of her
  stomach. Pausing briefly to fondle her breasts, she
  transformed into an Esper and broke Kefka's neck in one swift
  motion.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.462990
text:
  *** Now talking in #clubsi.com
  *** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man
  mount"'
  *** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463057
text:
  <HamsterFuzz> damn it!
  <HamsterFuzz> i can't register for classes online after
  midnight
  <HamsterFuzz> now i'm screwed
  <Cat1013> that sux
  <HamsterFuzz> the internet is supposed to be convenient! it's
  not suppose to shut down at a certain time! there shouldn't be
  hours of operation!
  <Cat1013> "you don't have to go to your homepage, but you
  can't stay here..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911587
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463153
text:
  <ik0n:#2600> It doesn't take much more then a bored college
  student, and an ounce of pot to spawn a new warez network.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463249
text:
  * `Glenn scribbles on Illy's face with a washable marker while
  she is away.
  <Lightspeed> Glenn prob seen too much Pokemon....
  <BraveFencer> .... No, but by the fact you connected that to
  Pokemon, maybe YOU have.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911588
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463298
text:
  <nirosys> whoever decided it'd be a good idea to rar an iso
  up, then throw it in a tar... then gzip it...
  <nirosys> should be shot..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463362
text:
  <raindog> I'll ring you when I head out...
  <morgamic> <3
  <raindog> lol
  <morgamic> want me to pick you up?
  <raindog> nice testicles
  <morgamic> it's a heart you jackass.
  <raindog> oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463408
text:
  [+Aled]: u cant count with out usign your hands
  [@Trixta]: *sigh*
  ::: Mode: (Trixta) sets (+b *!
  ~Aled@du-069-0638.access.clara.net)
  ::: Kick: (Aled) was kicked by (Trixta) (The only superiority
  complex allowed in this irc room is mine, come back in 10
  minutes after your head has shrunk., 10m ban  3 )
  [@Trixta]: i was going to give him a longer ban but i've only
  got 10 fingers ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463467
text:
  <PitChic> here, i'm sure the women at those phone places will
  talk to men or women..anyone paying.
  <Marcus``> horses... farm animals
  <Jadralec> Marcus you mean that in USA you can call horse on
  phone for animal sex ??
  <Jadralec> that's amazing
  <Jadralec> we are far behind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911589
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463516
text:
  <sean> Stop adding 2+2! it has taken me five years to develop
  2+2, and you "geeks and hackers" are destroying my work!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463572
text:
  <SvinX> whats the file in /etc that controls the profile?
  <k> /etc/profile ?
  <SvinX> .. i realise i didnt word that very well
  <SvinX> yea could be it
  <SvinX> thx
  <shiftyphil> what's the tool you use to shovel dirt?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463682
text:
  <Kingsford> who is Psytrox?
  <Turori> rejis's date
  <Kingsford> an IRC date?
  <Cockbill_Street> right
  <Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies
  <Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner
  <Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar
  <Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life?
  <Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911590
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463727
text:
  <mdgslve> Zeek the only good thing about sheep is if you get
  em close enough to a cliff they push back really hard :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463771
text:
  (bovril): i realised yesterday
  (bovril): that every old lady you walk past in the street
  probably fancies you
  (bovril): :(
  (doggie^): yeah
  (doggie^): one was checking me out in marks and spencers the
  other week
  (doggie^): then she licked her lips at me
  (doggie^): i was weirded out for days
  (bovril): if thats not a strong argument for euthenasia i dont
  know what is


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911591
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463833
text:
  <domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
  <ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
  <ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
  <domenow> yeah, mine too
  <domenow> I mean... err.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463932
text:
  <Lonesy> I was at the Badkarma fields when thunder strikes
  less than 50 feet from me
  <Lonesy> God's way of saying "I see what you did there"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.463982
text:
  Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands
  in the garbage disposal.
  Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS!  I DON'T WANT TO WAIT
  'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464031
text:
  <Indogutsu> I once got an e-mail from the former prince of
  Niger.
  <Chocoboko> What did he want?
  <Indogutsu> To know if I was interested in increasing my penis
  size.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911592
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464084
text:
  <@kazin> why does php have 'echo' and 'print'?  Do they do
  different things?
  <Bluefoxicy> kazin:  echo prints in a big empty room.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911593
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464232
text:
  <DjLizard> click HERE for free Chocobo porn.
  <DET> all I got was channel info
  <DjLizard> :D
  <DjLizard> well, click here for free channel info.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464324
text:
  <chabo> have you guys ever noticed that quite a few of the
  quotes on bash.org deal with people who go on IRC and tell
  everyone about it when something major happens, rather than do
  what they should, which is usually go to the hospital?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464373
text:
  SignorMartinelli: how is the weather?
  vacapalida: Dunno. I'm in a room with no windows.
  vacapalida: My widget says it's 84 and sunny.
  vacapalida: ...trust the widget...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911594
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464436
text:
  <buzgub> do drakconf and drakxconf look at all different?
  <puttputt> find / -name "*drak*" -exec rm -f "{}" ;
  <Robzy> not at all
  <Robzy> puttputt, it returns:
  <Robzy> rm: cannot remove `/etc/bootsplash/themes/Mandrake':
  Is a directory
  <Robzy> find: /mnt/floppy: Input/output error
  <Robzy> find: . changed during execution of find
  <puttputt> oh my god


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464538
text:
  <_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
  <_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they
  are and expect you to know they are telstra
  <_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults
  center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm
  well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake
  up with erections... but aside from that Im fine"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911595
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464597
text:
  <vrit> mm* = hi, we're capcom. we don't need to come up with
  new ideas for games. here, enjoy street fighter vs marvel vs
  snk vs megaman vs taliban vs n'sync alpha super gold turbo
  extreme zero mega ultra double-stuf supreme extra value combo
  4x
  <x1gameguy2007> add three more games and they already have
  that.  It's call M.U.G.E.N.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464754
text:
  <nullgod> I'm not quite sure who slack is for, it's harder
  then REdHat, so it's not for newbies, it's less secure then
  FreeBSD so it's not for experts, and it's not pretty so it's
  not for desktops.
  <DigDug> slack is for linux zealots :-D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911596
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464823
text:
  <Zuuzou> hello everyone
  <pronto> hi, im masturbating
  <pronto> how are you?
  * coldvodka kills a kitten
  * pronto eats that kitten
  <coldvodka> cat, the other white meat
  <pronto> baby, the other other white meat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464871
text:
  <damn2003> how can i get people to think that im using BitchX?
  bx is kinda cool, though.
  <Mr_NiCe> try /quit BitchX: im a wannabe
  <damn2003> ok
  *** Quits: damn2003 (BitchX: im a wannabe)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911597
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.464975
text:
  <DW>So, I had to get a colonoscopy today
  <DW>That's where they stick a camera up your ass and take
  pictures of your intestines
  <Relentless>that's just great
  <DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep
  for it
  <pyr0>which was...
  <DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to
  drink about 2 liters of this shit that would help clear my
  intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had
  SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about
  rolling around on the floor punching shit severe
  <DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some
  reason
  <DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to
  stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time,
  having a raging boner and wanting to jack off
  <Relentless>this wont end well
  <DW>Anyway, I had been shitting brown water since 3 (that's
  what the nasty shit I drank did), and I needed to again. But
  since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while
  I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one
  off, and I'm getting the shits, so I sit down. Just before I'm
  about to cum, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I
  had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get
  when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and
  start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went
  to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started
  VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm fucking lucky the sink is
  right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin
  shooting shit-water out of my ass with the force of a pressure
  washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move
  around enough that I started cumming.
  <DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire
  burning a line from my balls to and up my asscrack, puke in
  the sink, and cum covering my legs.
  <DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\
  *LONG pause*
  <pyr0>...
  <Neo>what the fuck
  <SSB>.....
  <CT_Frog>o_o
  <MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else
  in their entire lives


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911598
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465068
text:
  <FyreStorm> 'cute'=fat, 'stud'=small penis, 'kitten'=usually
  over 50 yrs old, 'sexy'=desperate, 'girl'or'gal'=usually
  <FyreStorm> over 40 yrs old, 'cuddly'=exceptionally
  over-wieght, 'hot'=lousy in bed, 'wet'=incontinent, 'boy'=
  still a virgin at 30,
  <FyreStorm> 'single'=married but horny, 'hard'=on viagra,
  'divorced'=will be if his wife finds out


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465129
text:
  <D4NG3R0U5> i swear to god my college is selling personal info
  to bookies or somethen
  <D4NG3R0U5> "Do you plan on living in the residence you've
  written above, for at least a year 1=yes 2=no  |__|"
  <R4V3N0U5 1> every college asks that
  <D4NG3R0U5> "Would you say you're a fan of college sports, and
  are responsible when it comes to making bets 1=yes 2=no |__|"
  <D4NG3R0U5> "Do you have a domestic animal that could be
  killed if you were to fail to pay a dept 1=yes 2=no |__|


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911599
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465175
text:
  <e3^Tony-M-LD> how do u get pics from your digital camera to
  your cpu - i plugged the cord into the usb now what? pm me
  <UsTeD> you sound like a macintosh switchover commercial :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465265
text:
  <Fishfood> HAHAH
  <Fishfood> BT ARGUING WITH AOL
  <Fishfood> ITS LIKE BLIND FIGHTING THE BLIND!
  <Funk> WITH THE RETARDED COMMENTATING


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465358
text:
  <Maastonakki> we are sending hamburgers to space now
  <Maastonakki> not sure if I want to live on this planet
  anymore
  <@r4w> especially if all the burgers are in space!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911600
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465399
text:
  systemtek: im just looking at my bids on ebay
  systemtek: brb
  gino220576: k
  gino220576: what u bidding for
  systemtek: a router
  gino220576: for drilling holes ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465440
text:
  Informatik: My final iMac price ended up at $3,752
  Informatik: xd
  Motley: the hell did you add? a used car?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465500
text:
  <Kinto> That totally sucked.
  <Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it
  flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
  <Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the
  mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
  <Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL
  COOL J.
  * Kinto starts rapping.
  <Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
  <Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason
  for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465560
text:
  <Radz> Should I replay FF7?
  <spiderbait> Nobody's stopping you.
  <Radz> That's like another 90 hours I'd be away from you guys
  though. :(
  <payne> Do it.
  <spiderbait> Do it.
  <xCell> Do it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911601
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465610
text:
  <toaster> Whats' the worst thing about having a heart/lung
  transplant ?
  <toaster> Coughing up somebody else's phlegm


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465668
text:
  <mb> everytime i've seen Iron Chef they always use sweet fish
  <yesyouam> what's sweet fish?
  <mb> the meat is supposed to be really sweet
  <mb> and the guts are supposed to be bitter
  <yesyouam> like ma wimminz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465714
text:
  <Marlean> At a concert for the homeless they gave the homeless
  CD`s instead of food. Like they could ever listen to it...
  * Marlean sighs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911602
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465770
text:
  *** f0r-1- has joined #photoshop
  <f0r-1-> hi
  <djahmar> hi
  <f0r-1-> How it hanging?
  <f0r-1-> :D
  <Anapaest> from here to iowa
  <f0r-1-> WHEEE! so, where are you from?
  <Anapaest> iowa :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465830
text:
  * Silkenray eats a burnt cookie
  <Silkenray> I'll pretend I didn't just clean up the
  eviscerated remains of my mother's used feminine hygeine
  products which my puppy distributed around the house.
  <JDigital> Are you sure that was a cookie? >_<
  <Silkenray> I know it was a cookie.
  <Silkenray> My mother just baked it.
  <JDigital> ...or pulled it out of her panties! Can you really
  be sure?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465924
text:
  <Diablo-D3> RichiH: only you would have a chainsaw strapon.
  <RichiH> yeah, this completely redefines "treehugger"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911603
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.465972
text:
  <Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
  <Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
  <Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches,
  the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466022
text:
  <hammergunner>  i want to see a big red button one day that
  read "push here to understand women"
  <cccnnn> hammer: yeah that's the withdraw cash button on the
  ATM machine.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911604
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466118
text:
  <FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards
  <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover?
  <FooMashoo> yes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466168
text:
  <[S]evered> UT has shit framerate
  <[S]evered> how do I fix it?
  <stoldark> [S]evered: i believe UT has an uninstall option


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466215
text:
  <chron> YO BITCH YOU WANNA GET FUCKIN RAPED? AIGHT IMMA BUST
  IT OUT LIGH DIZ <boom boom boom> WELL IMMA TCP TO YO FTP THEN
  PUMP U FULLA PENIS.C CUZ IMMA HACKAH BITCH I DONT FEEL NO
  PAIN, I PLAY COUNTERSTRIKE AND EMULATE MAIM, U SUCK MY COX
  WHILE I ROOT YOUR BOX WHILE MY DRONES PACKET INTO YOUR GAY
  WINSOCKS, IMMA HACKAH IN THE NIGHT WHEN THE TIME IS NOCTURNAL
  SO KISS MY DRONES AND SAY PEACE TO KERNEL. WHAT WHAT WHAT
  WEBSIIIIIIITE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466259
text:
  <blehnus>In my experiece, any attempt to make any system idiot
  proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911605
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466320
text:
  <toNe> Nall is like an xbox
  <Nall> thank you
  <toNe> big, heavy, not fun, and useless!
  <Soopa> good graphics though...
  <Soopa> and easy to develop for...
  <toNe> and you have to pay extra to get all the features
  <Soopa> and will be dead in a year
  <acetonic> and Bill Gates spends Billions on it
  <Nall> who will die


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466420
text:
  *** Tartuf has joined channel #college
  <Tartuf> hey
  <xab> who in the hell is that?
  <Tartuf> ...
  <Tartuf> ur worse nightmare :p
  <xab> mum?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911606
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466519
text:
  <Clitlover> I am not into that.
  <Clitlover> How about roleplay?
  <Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> ok
  <Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> i'll be the dungeon master


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466579
text:
  <LaPengo> .8ball Am I the hotz?
  <PengoBot> <<LaPengo>>  : Definitely LaPengo...
  <Bison> .8ball Was that rigged?
  <PengoBot> <<Bison >>  : Most likely!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466628
text:
  G3nki: my printer is printing subliminal messages on my paper
  Keerax: ...o_O
  G3nki: it's printing out "Join the Military!"
  G3nki: like cutting half of it at the top of the page
  Keerax: yvan eht nioj
  G3nki: never!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466676
text:
  <Sefy> Dude, if the FBI ever came to my door
  <Sefy> Im just gonna put in my other harddrive and boot in ME
  <Sefy> Just so i look like a complete retard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911607
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466745
text:
  <InkyGhost>Is it wrong to root for Tom Hank's character's
  death in "Castaway"?
  <Rob> No, because its Tom Hanks.
  <Rob> He starred in Mazes and Monsters, a blantant anti DnD
  film.
  <Rob> Staring in porn is more respectable than being in that
  shit heap.
  <Morrigan> Rob, that was before he was established. You have
  to take roles like that so you can get better ones.
  <Rob> I don't care. Staring in porno would be more respectable
  than that.
  <InkyGhost> You seem to have an unnatural fixation about
  seeing Tom Hanks in porn.
  <Rob> Shut the fuck up, Ghost.
  <Himi> Busted.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466796
text:
  <sunfish>I stopped a rape in the city last night
  <Donnyman>How'd you do that
  <sunfish>Simple I stopped following her.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466846
text:
  <Plank> there's a special halloween version of goatse! the
  image if modified so it looked like a halloween pumpkin!
  www.goatse.cx
  <Suave|Away> Bloody hell.
  <Suave|Away> And I clicked it, too.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466892
text:
  (nexxai) you don't know pain until you try and compile eggdrop
  on a 486
  (nexxai) each line goes by, and you cheer because you weren't
  sure if it had frozen or not D;


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911608
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466938
text:
  [Synista]: You know what would have been cool
  [Synista]: if in the superman movie, they had him break a
  horse's back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.466983
text:
  [ +Mattster ] in an emergency, the hard drive will launch
  itself through my window and safely onto the back lawn
  [ +Mattster ] so in the future, someone else can benefit from
  my mp3's and porn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911609
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467035
text:
  <Iconoplast> why do people insist in distributing things in
  real audio format?
  <cowofdoom> because they love Hitler.
  <Iconoplast> that's what i was thinking.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467140
text:
  <Noobles> i'm not getting any presents
  <Yolmer> uh-huh
  <Ravus> you're getting a small lump of COAL
  <Ravus> due to molesting small children all year
  <Ravus> santa doesn t approve
  <Ravus> THEMS HIS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467189
text:
  <whythehell> who were you talking about?
  <RobotBebop> whythehell: Canada.
  <whythehell> sorry
  <whythehell> who were you talking aboot?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911610
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467258
text:
  <+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
  <+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money",
  they never objected
  <+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
  <+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same
  time right
  <@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
  <+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your
  number"
  <+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
  <+HoCkster> it was like webchat
  <+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up
  and were like
  <+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467349
text:
  [Nothingface] fuck, I can't type
  [@PMV] its easy
  [@PMV] step 1: bang head on keyboard
  [@PMV] step 2: repeat


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467402
text:
  <HrdwrBoB> un.. what's rl?
  <un> isn't that what happens when you type brb?
  <HrdwrBoB> no that's when I get food


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911611
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467449
text:
  dmarkpb: oh yeah and while i'm thinking of it, i'm running
  1600x1200 and 1280x960 side by side, i dare not put the 15
  near these two in case it suicides because of jealousy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467546
text:
  <rhc> apparently it's rude if
  <rhc> somebody asks if you have a light
  <rhc> and you reply: "yes, but it's at the end of the tunnel"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467602
text:
  <[PtFe]Harrison> If I ever purchased a firearm, it'd have to
  be something like...  I dunno...  A fifty calibur sniper
  rifle.  If I'm going to get a gun, I might as well be able to
  punch a hole in a tank, you know?
  <[LsR]Darrian> lol
  <[LsR]Hotwire> law launcher for me. if it dont blow stuff up,
  i dont want it.
  <[LsR]Darrian> I just want something I can whip out in the
  middle of a strip joint and yell "suck it, bitch!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911612
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467653
text:
  <Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend
  ripped ass onto the mic.
  <Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
  <Sabdo> we were like, wtf?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467702
text:
  poetically kyle:  my gramma's funny...we were driving behind
  a short bus and she saw all the helmets and she was like "OH
  LOOK! HOCKEY PLAYERS!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467751
text:
  <soulsuckingharpy> once i walked in on my mother fucking a
  clown
  <killingtime> did like 20 clowns come out afterwards and do
  somersaults?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467834
text:
  <Javin> Oh.
  <Javin> My.
  <Javin> God.
  <Javin> We have a unit here.  It's about the size of a small
  speaker.
  <Javin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA
  DESTROYER."
  <Javin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks,
  "hey, what is this thing?"
  <Javin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..."
  <Javin> Next thing I hear:  *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE
  FUCK?!?!"
  <Javin> Now they're pissed at ME.
  <Javin> Because THEY couldn't read.
  <Javin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use
  MY "DVD Polisher."
  <Javin> I hate people.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911613
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467876
text:
  linkraceist: my printer is being rather communist atm
  necrokiss: lol, how so?
  linkraceist: in theory, there is nothing wrong with it
  linkraceist: but when i try to use it, everything goes wrong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.467924
text:
  <MrWizard> do you even have one story where you dont smoke
  weed?
  <priz> hmmmm i really dont think so, heh
  <priz> well, actually one time catlord had to EAT a joint
  before we could smoke it cuz the cops were after us


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468004
text:
  <InvisableMan> then take them all out
  <InvisableMan> all 200,000 of them
  <InvisableMan> and deport them
  <InvisableMan> to afganistan or something
  <InvisableMan> libya
  <cheezychops> TO CANADA!
  <ChronoKnight> cheezy..my god
  <ChronoKnight> im right here
  <InvisableMan> hahaha
  <cheezychops> like i said ChronoKnight
  <cheezychops> TO CANADA!
  <chris> lol
  <ChronoKnight> pffft
  <ChronoKnight> im sorry to hear that
  <cheezychops> read it
  <cheezychops> not hear
  <cheezychops> you read it
  <cheezychops> stupid canadians
  <cheezychops> :P
  <ChronoKnight> read what
  <InvisableMan> rofl


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911614
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468059
text:
  *** Joins: ph30tu5
  (~ihateyoug@user-0cal658.cable.mindspring.com)
  *** Joins: ReadingZu (~RZ@user-0cal658.cable.mindspring.com)
  <ReadingZu> oh... wait
  <ReadingZu> hey wait
  <ReadingZu> i can be an ass all i want and you cant ban me
  without banning her
  <ReadingZu> HAHHADFH@Q$%&
  <ReadingZu> OEND
  *** c-rOCK sets mode: +b *!
  ~RZ@user-0cal658.cable.mindspring.com
  *** ReadingZu was kicked by c-rOCK (banned.)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468151
text:
  <Warhead> call off, everyone: boxers or briefs?
  <Enargy> depends
  <Warhead> ......control problems?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911615
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468244
text:
  <gecko__> i just oiled up my cats ass,but now when i try to
  boff him he slips away!
  <gecko__> =[~!
  <Esad> i knew there was a reason i hated cats


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468294
text:
  <shadow> I love compact cars. They're small and discreet...
  kind of like tampons.
  <Squirl> exactly
  <Squirl> and when youre done you just flush them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468343
text:
  <Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
  <Epesh> for everywhere
  <Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911616
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468424
text:
  <Nematocyst> Christ
  <Nematocyst> I have you urinate
  <Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
  <Nematocyst> I have to urinate
  <Nematocyst> fuck
  <Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have
  peed like four times over


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468472
text:
  <c_thur> god i hate my roomates GF
  <c_thur> if she was non existant
  <c_thur> there would be no hand jobs behind me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468517
text:
  <[TpL]Luke> Really? the nurse who did me was so fat, ugly and
  sweaty, she was cooking burgers under her armpits for lunch
  <[TpL]Luke> u should have seen her cooking hot dogs!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911617
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468571
text:
  <phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
  <burnison> yep
  <phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
  <burnison> hell yes
  *phex waits for the pun to set in


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468739
text:
  <kinzillah> kronos is portable! *hrrrrk* *thump* *clunk* errr,
  maybe not
  <Pseudonym> kinzillah: It's about 50 lbs
  <Pseudonym> The case being about 40 lbs of that
  <Gygaxis> wtf is the case?!?!
  <kinzillah> 50 lbs != portable
  <Pseudonym> Wimp.
  <Gygaxis> jesus christ, did you mod a god damn cinder block?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911618
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468824
text:
  <Whoever>So I'm sitting at the lunch table with mostly girls
  and the conversation wanders about the usual subjects.
  <Whoever>Eventually someone say the word "Jizz" And that goody
  goody girl with the 4.0 GPA and who is very sweet and innocent
  says, "whats jizz?"
  <Whoever>Silence and muffled laughter ensues, one of the girls
  says "Its something guys do."
  <Whoever>So she says "...oh... okay.."
  <Whoever>Next period, english class, miss clueless raises her
  hand.
  <Whoever>"Excuse me, can I go to the Lav, I have to Jizz."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468916
text:
  <Asha`monkey> One time I was watching porn for like twenty
  minutes. When I was finished, I took off my headphones and
  found the sound blaring out of my regular speakers as well.
  <Asha`monkey> My mom told me to turn it down.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911619
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.468968
text:
  <arturo-pain-afk> what makes you think it is?
  * Sphinx45 points to the door.
  <Sphinx45> the sign says so!
  <arturo-pain-afk> what sign?
  <arturo-pain-afk> theres no sign
  * Nelyx adjusts the "Number of Days without having to deal
  with an Idiot!" sign, so that it now reads 0


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469124
text:
  <Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever
  done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's
  website's background to Goatse.
  * Antifreez sighs
  <Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
  <Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page
  on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said
  "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
  <Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469175
text:
  <Xerox> STOP CONTROLLING MY MIND!
  <DigiGnome> If I did that, you'd fall into a lifelss heap by
  your computer, and only be found days later when the
  neighbours get suspicious about the change of smell coming
  from your room.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911620
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469256
text:
  <@harb> Sith are like the script kiddies of Force users.
  <@harb> They all have silly handles.
  <@harb> "Darth Maul", "Darth Sidious", "Darth Tyranous".
  <@harb> "d00d ur most l33t l3tz g0 own sum j3di lol"
  < mdxi> <ObiWan> Do not turn ot the Dark Side, Anakin
  < mdxi> <an4k1n> STFU F4G
  <@harb> <tyr4nous> d00d j0in m3 w3 c4n pwn 2gether!!
  <@harb> <ObiWan> I'll never join you, Dooku.
  <@harb> <tyr4nous> suk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911621
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469365
text:
  <Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
  <Olly> What happened to it?
  <Rach> i broke it
  <Olly> On purpose?
  <Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
  <Rach> just stupidly
  <Olly> Ahh
  <Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
  <Rach> yeah, it's full of water


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911621
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469416
text:
  <BLOODHat> Nakago: I got Civ3 to work
  <Nakago> good.. I'm about to burn mine
  <Nakago> its so fun when every fucking race in the game
  declares war against you at the same time
  <Dr_Tofu> nakago: now you see what afghanistan feels like :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911622
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469474
text:
  <ryda> i dont think anyone wants to see my dick in his cute
  lil asss
  <Gobbles> :|
  <Gobbles> :S
  <ryda> her
  <ryda> lol
  <Vindictive> His???
  <Gobbles> hahhahaha
  <Moose> HIS
  <ryda> whatta bad typo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469608
text:
  <foolsCAP> how much is an abortion? i want to get my
  girlfriend a gift certificate for one for valentines day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469653
text:
  <@toad-> I am 0x1E2303BB Seconds old. (5.103407 * ln(-[ln(lim
  [z->0] (1+1/z)^z)])*sqrt(-[sin^2(x) + cos^2(x)])*(-[cosh(y)
  *sqrt(1-tanh^2(y))) years old) (My next birthday is in 51wks
  26mins 45secs)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469710
text:
  *** joet (~joet@ilm25-44-179.ec.rr.com) has joined #javascript
  <joet> hey
  <Object> hey joe
  <yossarian> where you going with that gun of yours?
  <yossarian> hey joe, i heard you shot your woman down
  <[Roosta]> shot her down to the ground?
  <joet> umm huh?
  <impatient> hey joe, where you gonna run to now?
  <joet> I think you have me mistakened with somone else


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911624
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469766
text:
  <guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
  <guest1101> I really do
  <@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
  <guest1101> NOT AT ALL
  <guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
  <@Boogaleeboo> "U"
  <@Boogaleeboo> Good move


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469818
text:
  [4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> dude my brother is wacking off
  [4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> eww
  <+little-mac> ZombiE_FreaK,go lend him a hand
  <ZombiE_FreaK> ^_^ BRB ^_^
  <+little-mac> omg


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911625
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.469923
text:
  <fvdl> How can one fuck and wank and the same time?
  <cjs> It's a secret the English have kept for centuries.
  <mothra> tell fvdl: you're fucking her, but thinking of your
  hand.
  <d@n> "oh, hand!  i mean cindy!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911626
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470083
text:
  * Carson_Marl looks at the remnants of the lightsaber on the
  floor.
  <Kalista_Frenta> "I wish those damn nuthouse doctors would
  hurry up and show. I'm ready to get out of her."
  <Kalista_Frenta> ((heheheheh. her = here))
  <Carson_Marl> ((Yeah, SURE it does!))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911627
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470185
text:
  <power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril
  Lavigne CD?
  <power> dammit
  <power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating
  <bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail
  the seven seas?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470345
text:
  <TxT> hahahhahahahahaha i read that bash quote where the guy
  renamed mirc.exe the .doc he needed to turn in
  <TxT> so i did it with my paper, i get an email today from my
  teacher "Sorry, I opened your document and it seemed
  corrupted. Do you know what happened? If not, just resubmit
  your essay."
  <TxT> and i sent him my now finished essay this morning and
  got a reply just now, "Thank you. This version seems to be
  working just fine."
  <TxT> ty bash!
  <+hydeph> hmm didnt you say a while ago that your teacher
  reads bash?
  <TxT> ...
  <TxT> dude thats not fucking cool
  <+hydeph> its ok, tyler norris.
  <TxT> ...
  <TxT> shit.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470395
text:
  <blake772> Dude, your sister is a bitch.
  <o0sarsRus0o> i know, one time she was drunk and i took
  advantage of her to get her back
  <blake772> WTF.. incest newbie.  Bash.org
  <o0sarsRus0o> omg if you do i will kill you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911628
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470499
text:
  <Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though.
  That's good.
  <ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
  <Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
  <Schroe> ...
  <Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly
  Language
  <ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you
  could withdraw


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470577
text:
  <dingo> did you hear the polish government bought 5000 septic
  tanks?
  <twolovvers> what in the hell for?
  <twolovvers> well, as soon as they figure out how to drive
  them, they're going to invade germany.
  <twolovvers> huh?
  <twolovvers> I'm very naive, and I pay no attention to world
  news
  <twolovvers> so if your bullshitting me I havn't a clue
  <dingo> septic tanks....drive them...going to invade...
  <dingo> umm...
  <dingo> you dye your hair blonde lately?
  <twolovvers> no it's dark brown with a hint of red
  <twolovvers> septic tanks aren't meant to be driven
  <dingo> ...
  <twolovvers> so your making a polish joke to mock them?
  <dingo> i think they're mocking themselves at this point.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470629
text:
  <CHAT Phut>  I'm a rebel.
  <CHAT Phut>  Yesterday, I crossed the street and I only looked
  TO THE LEFT!
  <CHAT Phut>  (you are supposed to look both ways)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911629
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470697
text:
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> never got another call from them till
  they bought a new accounting package that needed Win95
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> and Novell for the servers..
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> went in to upgrade the machines..
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> moved the first 2 workgroup servers to
  Novell 4.11
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> couldn't find the third
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> asked them where they moved it to...
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> umm, moved ?
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> yeah, where did you move WKG3SRV to ?
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> ummm...
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> we didn't change anything
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> You had to have moved it when you
  remodelled the office! The wiring closet in the hall is
  gone...
  <PhantomOfTheRouter> oh shit!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470745
text:
  [@pHluid] Dolphins also have foot long prehensile penises
  [@pHluid] they can flex them, curl them, corkscrew them
  whatever
  [@pHluid] you haven't really lived until you've felt a
  dolphin's cock up yo...er


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470793
text:
  -plot· then i masterbated
  -plot· :D
  +chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
  -plot· but you wanted to know
  +chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has
  recently masturbated
  +chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just
  to keep track
  -plot· dude
  -plot· thats sick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911630
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.470842
text:
  <MrCoffee> my pokemon bring all those nerds to the yard and
  there like, do you wanna trade cards, damn right, lets trade
  some cards, ill trade you, but not my charizard


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911631
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471073
text:
  <Melchizedek> hmm..listening to songs without the eq turned on
  is strangely empty yet pure
  <Crimsonmonkey> like masturbating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471143
text:
  <Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes
  equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
  <Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock
  music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with
  country music etc,etc.
  <Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in
  front of my car the other day,
  <Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons
  'THRILLER' came on :S


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471245
text:
  <Prescient1> what's the syntax for sending a message to the
  whole channel on a timer?
  <|sliq|> /timer 0 (delay in seconds) msg #channelname Message
  <|sliq|> don't do 0 0, you'll flood out right away
  * Prescient1 Quit (Excess Flood)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911632
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471301
text:
  <gkm> mmm, me.
  <garandou> glen - when you say 'mmm me' i can't help but
  imagine you rubbing your nipples
  <gkm> mmm, nipples.
  <gkm> i'm as happy as a little girl.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471355
text:
  <hpr-vb6> $2 bills pwn
  <Cracker`tv> KEEP THE 2S!
  <[LIQuid]> why?!
  <Cracker`tv> take them to strip clubs when you get older...
  strippers dont look too hard and they think they're
  twenties!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471417
text:
  <ExplosiveTwinkies>  Ok, my sister calls Compuserve to cancel
  my net(thank god), but unfortunetly, only the account holder
  (Me) can speak to the operator. But I'm a 'minor' so I can't.
  <ExplosiveTwinkies>  So I can't speak to the operator AT ALL.
  I can't give my sister the 'authority' to talk, cause I cannot
  speak to the operator.
  <ExplosiveTwinkies>  Then... suprise suprise, the operator
  asks for my WIFE.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471468
text:
  <sigafoo> i realized i loved my girlfriend when i said to her
  <sigafoo> <3
  <sigafoo> and she said "<3.14159265" back...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911633
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471527
text:
  <bl00d|straitjacket> dude i pissed my boss of soooo bad today
  <bl00d|straitjacket> i was late for work saturday because i
  was waiting for the DSL tech to show
  <bl00d|straitjacket> so i get in today and he asks me why i
  was late
  <bl00d|straitjacket> i told him about the dsl tech and all
  <bl00d|straitjacket> he goes "What internet not workin so you
  cant look at porn all day?"
  <bl00d|straitjacket> and i says: "What can i say your wife
  looked good in her college years bro"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471572
text:
  Helix04: we had a debate in lit today
  Helix04: alec did our conclusion
  Helix04: he ended by calling the entire opposing team
  communists
  Helix04: I don't think we won


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911634
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471670
text:
  DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot
  this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
  DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home
  office) and asked him to bring it for me
  DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me
  and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your
  personal secretary."
  DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on
  for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
  DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471718
text:
  < relnev> cool, this 8-page pdf has 3 pages intentionally left
  blank
  < relnev> that's like a big waste of e-trees


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471778
text:
  <q|x> with an ' on the e
  <q|x> well you know
  <q|x> like a slanty thing
  <Suparmono> slanty?
  <Suparmono> we dont want them here thanks
  <Suparmono> unless you mean people will crippled legs
  <Suparmono> we'll shove them out of the way
  <Suparmono> somewhere


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471829
text:
  <dyno> Anyone ever gotten the error "Network Cable Unplugged"
  ?
  <kash[]> yea it means your network cable is unpluged
  <dyno> at first I thought it was because of an IRQ setting,
  but we fixed that.. and I am still getting that error.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911635
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.471892
text:
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o aen
  <aen> aen's access level grew 3 sizes that day.
  <aen> And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
  <bob3d> the ladies were rather pleased
  <aen> He whizzed with his load through the bright morning
  light
  <aen> ANd he brought back the toys! And the food for the
  feast!
  <aen> And he...
  <aen> ...HE HIMSELF...!
  <aen> aen spanked his own meat!
  <aen> Or something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911636
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472040
text:
  <JesusFrog> He's not coming because you haven't jacked him
  off.
  <JesusFrog> THAT IS GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT ME IN THE
  QUOTES


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472105
text:
  <Raptor> ---
  <Raptor> very funny ad...
  <Raptor> and is alien-homonoid coming to Gamecube or PS2 or
  both?
  <Raptor> Because they are both very fine systems and
  X-Box,Well... It can rot in hell with Bill Gates, The evilest
  man to walk the earth.
  <Raptor> ---
  <Raptor> Yes, compared to Bill Gates, Ghengis Khan was a
  fucking saint, and don't even get me started on some Chinese
  Emperors and Stalin, they could be like fucking Jesus! God
  damn that Bill Gates is a plight upon man.
  <Ross> Hey now, Ghengis Khan did a lot of good
  <Ross> He made Russia rich, and re-opened the silk road
  <Ross> AND he killed 800,000 arabs in a week


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472155
text:
  <FFk> he had a stroke
  <FFk> and only half of his face works
  <FFk> isnt that wicked?
  <FFk> kinda like twoface from batman :D


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472205
text:
  <Sakireth> Infinite can't be explained by math or logics
  either.
  <Sakireth> Well, maybe a little by logics..
  <bob-E> just get 8 drunk, and then u got infinity


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911637
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472261
text:
  <aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant
  <helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?!
  <aquacavi> yours or the dogs
  <helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S
  <helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472329
text:
  <iddqd> have you read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?
  <elf> ya
  <iddqd> it r l333t
  <iddqd> i've only read up to halfway of restaurant @ the end
  of the universe...
  <iddqd> need to carry on
  <elf> have u read my gf jsut dumpped me so i played quake all
  night ?
  <iddqd> ouch
  <iddqd> soz man :/
  <elf> dont worry , i have bash.org , i can laugh at all the
  OTHER pathetic loosers out there
  <iddqd> haha that's the spirit


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472389
text:
  <Klaatu> I logged into the admin account in a comp at my uni.
  <Klaatu> I drew the word "Owned" and set it as the wallpaper.
  <Hl1> Meh, that's good enough to hang with us. >.>
  <Klaatu> 1337 :D
  <Hl1> You just lost your cred.
  <Klaatu> Aw fux0r. :(
  <Hl1> And slowly going into the negatives...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911638
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472442
text:
  <M-ROTDL> Something you NEVER want your mom to say to you:
  "You've got a large PENIS!"
  <M-ROTDL> I was sitting down to game of MegaMan Legends 2....
  <M-ROTDL> And she strolls by and goes, "Wow... you have a
  large penis."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472504
text:
  <Alvaro> I'd tap you anytime Treen
  <Treen|Dead> the dead are beyond blame...
  <Treen|Dead> ...
  <Alvaro> ...
  <Treen|Dead> *uncomfortable moment*
  <Alvaro> *awkward silence*
  <Treen|Dead> SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS
  HOLY.
  <Psychorider> does that make Alvaro a necrophiliac?
  <Alvaro> So ummm, how about em Knicks?
  <Zippo> Something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911639
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472564
text:
  <PuffinFreshWog> i want my case
  <PuffinFreshWog> and electric blue uv paint
  <PuffinFreshWog> and uv tubing
  <PuffinFreshWog> and blue led fan
  <PuffinFreshWog> and uv cathode
  <PuffinFreshWog> and a penis
  <PuffinFreshWog> oops
  <PuffinFreshWog> ummm
  <PuffinFreshWog> quick, b4 you read !!!
  <PuffinFreshWog> type /clear


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472735
text:
  <JPierre> Helping noobs on IRC who refuse to listen is an
  all-too-common waste of time.
  <biznatch> It's like you have this talking horse
  and the talking horse says "I'm thirsty"
  then you lead the horse to some water
  and it still won't drink.
  <PVicky> Simple solution: slaughter it for the meat.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911640
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472855
text:
  *** m0ndi changes topic to '[01:08] <Lottiepie> now i don't
  have pussy anymore [01:10] <m0ndi> u left it at your ex bf's
  place that he can have some fun with [01:10] <Lottiepie> yep
  :)'
  <m0ndi> i guess thats enuff
  <Lottiepie> the topic is too big
  <mensab> nothings too big as long as is all goes in
  <mensab> errrm... that could go into bash :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.472905
text:
  <bullava> I was watching Conan one night and there was a
  scottish guy on and he was saying that the original kilts
  where used as a sleeping bag as well as clothing .... and that
  since the kilt was so heavy scottish warriors would take it
  off and run into battle butt naked
  <BraveFencer> Makes sense.  Exit the world the samre way you
  entered.  Naked and screaming.
  <bullava> and plus whats more scarier seeing a man painted
  blue and butt naked running at you
  <BraveFencer> The above, only with an erection and a bottle of
  lube in one hand.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911641
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473049
text:
  (@HS): yes, i was around a very powerfull political figure,
  and all i could think about was banging his daughter


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911642
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473193
text:
  <+sysys> i could tell you if WINDOWS FUCKING ME didn't crash
  <+sysys> er
  <+sysys> WINDOWS ME
  <+sysys> that didnt come out right
  <@spacemank> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473245
text:
  itchy92: Aha! I figured out why all the 1337 hackers in movies
  use Linux.
  theNihil: Um, because it's mysterious and unknown to
  mainstream movie viewers?
  itchy92: No, man. It generates so much output so easily.
  itchy92: Need a scrolling console window to make it look like
  you're doing something? Type any nonsensical word with a
  verbose switch and BAM! you've got scrolling text for like 3
  hours. So it seems like you're engaging in some hardcore NSA
  decrypting when in fact, you're compiling ksolitaire or
  something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473293
text:
  <svinx> yknow when you go to a party, and everyones hooked up
  except one guy and one girl
  <svinx> and so they look at each other like.. do we have to?
  <svinx> intel & nvidia must be lookin at each other like that
  right now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911643
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473339
text:
  <Reaper_of_Souls> at the risk of sounding unbelievably gay,
  lace underware has more crotch space than you'd think


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911644
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473440
text:
  <bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH
  TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall
  over from mine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473651
text:
  <thetourist> just watched my lotr dvd
  <thetourist> :)
  <antiuser> nice :D
  <thetourist> yea, those 30 extra minutes are awesome
  <lech> what do they consist of?
  <lech> as if the movie wasnt already long enuff
  <thetourist> man, the new scenes add a lot to it
  <soap> LIES
  <antiuser> :E
  <antiuser> OBEY
  <soap> 30 minutes of the hobbits masturbating doesn't "add"
  anything
  <thetourist> ok, i'm lying it's all hobbit porn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911645
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473744
text:
  <AndrewLB> Ya know, I just realized that the entire time I was
  supposed to be at church, I've been looking at hentai...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473856
text:
  <hussain> we have a new domain
  <hussain> fruitopia.net
  <Arsenic> oh yeah?
  <Arsenic> ghetto :/
  <hussain> yeah.
  <hussain> bah
  <hussain> i'm getting 5 more soon
  ùíù sean_ [sean@hussain.is.a.gay.fruitopia.net] has joined #
  fruit
  <sean_> hEh
  <hussain> hahah
  ùíù SignOff/#fruit sean_ [sean@hussain.is.a.gay.fruitopia.net]
  (Remote host closed the connection)
  ð hussain snickers
  <Arsenic> Bastard.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473913
text:
  <crhyme> I made a windchime out of used condoms
  <soop> does it go "slap phlap wap"
  <soop> in the wind?
  <sunrinse> crhyme: sounds more slappy than chimey
  <soop> or does it more of an aromatherapy thing
  <crhyme> well its mostly just for style
  <crhyme> its also a great way to dry out your condoms


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911646
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.473955
text:
  bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
  rotino: empathyy
  bananza: yeah
  bananza: like a lot
  rotino: look up empathy
  bananza: oh fuck u


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911647
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474007
text:
  <Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole.
  <jamesm> what is it?
  <Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their
  last 5 bucks on mcdonalds
  <jamesm> how do they make money?
  <Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your
  screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :)
  <jamesm> in case you find another fiver


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474153
text:
  <rob`> <Satanic0> vai toma no cu filha da puta
  <rob`> _________________________________________
  <rob`> I'M GETTING HACKED FROM BRASIL
  <rob`> HELP ME


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474197
text:
  onkeybutt87: I have no work ethic
  onkeybutt87: or ethics
  onkeybutt87: in a related note, I'm going to go hit babies


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911649
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474247
text:
  <@primig> why is duct tape like the force
  <@primig> it has a dark and a light side
  <@primig> and it holdes the universe together


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474299
text:
  <Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
  <Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
  <Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474350
text:
  <redhook> <--- 22
  <redhook> and I got a 7 year old on my nuts, how pathetic
  <redhook> s/7/17/
  <redhook> that looked bad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474412
text:
  <Dark_Fox> Wheee.. Hooray for USB2.0's slow ass read/write
  bandwidth
  <Dark_Fox> I get to watch my mod compile at the blazing speed
  of a snail
  <Zail_Dark> snails are interesting
  <Dark_Fox> I don't think they make for good eats, though
  <Zail_Dark> what if it were a giant snail that was eating you?
  <Dark_Fox> then i would be in soviet russia


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911650
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474462
text:
  <sTubby> there would only be 1 downside about being able to
  suck yourself off...
  <sTubby> your boner would be cancelled out because of the fact
  that it's a guys lips on your nuts...and more so that it's
  your own lips!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474521
text:
  <Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
  <Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that
  people're
  <Deke> coming over
  <Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
  <Deke> most people find coins
  <Deke> we find disk drives


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474572
text:
  * Pilgrim has joined #lockergnome
  <Pilgrim> is it just me, or did this chan get bigger since the
  last time i was here? :p
  <Rage> when were you last here?
  <Siren> yeah, we knocked out that wall
  --------------------------------->
  <Siren> :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911651
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474627
text:
  <brock101> whats speeds should i get over a lan, with a 10/100
  connection ?
  <@WheelOr> 10 to 100 Mbits/sec.
  <brock101> -_-
  <brock101> thanks, i knew that
  <brock101> i walked into that one didn`t i
  <@WheelOr> I suppose so.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474740
text:
  <+Sketchee> I used to subscribe to this magazine:
  www.clubfreshmen.com/
  <+TheWalls> im not clicking that link
  <NSGuest-617> me neither
  <+Sketchee> It's obviously college related.
  <+Sumez> sounds like gay porn to me
  <+Sumez> "fresh men"
  <NSGuest-617> knowing sketchee, it is
  <+Sketchee> Damn you all.
  <+Sketchee> Sad part is you're right.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911652
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474830
text:
  <mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
  <mEsHmAn> in mIRC
  *** theForger sets mode: +b *!
  *@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
  *** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474880
text:
  * pig points out that vi just core dumped twice
  * Khatru points out that vi sucks.
  <pig> obviously
  <Nugget> it is software.  ergo, it sucks.
  <pig> your mom is software
  <Khatru> ..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.474938
text:
  <Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
  <cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
  <l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
  <cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
  <TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
  <l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
  <TxcPoison> wow
  <l0g1c> just warm the important part up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911653
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475036
text:
  <@Weirdbot> Question 11 of 12: Where is it illegal for
  chickens to cross the street?
  <+Evil_Chipmunk> crawford, texas
  <+Evil_Chipmunk> ...
  <+Evil_Chipmunk> aw, why not... everything else that's come
  out of there has been retarded.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475082
text:
  *** NeoCid[nothere] is now known as NeoCid
  [learninggermanhistory]
  <imag|WC3> I thought it said "learning nigger man history" at
  first


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911654
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475174
text:
  <Xunil96> because i have a metric ass-ton of perl to write
  <Dr_V> would a metric ass have 10 cheeks?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475220
text:
  craig: I suddenly have the urge to rip someone's ear off...
  can you guess why?
  ted: uh... you've been possessed by vincent van gogh?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475266
text:
  iHeartDonKnotts: So Tuesday we go to Fry's
  iHeartDonKnotts: And I buy a few CD-Rs
  iHeartDonKnotts: Rick buys Half Life Platinum Pack, despite
  all of us urging him not to
  iHeartDonKnotts: And Mo fucking steals two hard drives, a
  9700, and an mp3 player
  cyateon: wtf
  iHeartDonKnotts: I know!
  iHeartDonKnotts: Fuck, Rick, I'll burn it for you!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475325
text:
  <nickkis> speaking of which, my other half is going to get
  beaten when he wakes up
  <nickkis> he works nights
  <nickkis> and has a habit of sleeping on the sofa
  <nickkis> which is fine
  <nickkis> until I come home from work tonight and my 3 year
  old pipes up 'whats daddy watching'
  <nickkis> and what daddy is watching isnt suitable for 3 year
  olds in any way shape or form


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911655
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475377
text:
  <MicrophoneJoe> Fuck me Bowmer is fat
  <MicrophoneJoe> Are you talking about masturbation ZoK?
  <ZoK> What else takes about 5 mins and involves lubrication?
  <MicrophoneJoe> Bowmer putting on a T-Shirt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475500
text:
  <CommanderStab> I once knew a guy who impersonated a teenage
  girl on the Internet
  <CommanderStab> He tricked married men into believing he was a
  14 year old Swedish girl and then said that "she'd like to get
  a call from him but Dad woudl get suspicious if he heard the
  phone ring".
  <CommanderStab> So they'd give him their phone number and he'd
  use it to trace their addresses down and find out information
  about them.
  <CommanderStab> Then he'd blackmail them into giving him their
  bank account details.
  <heythere> ... did he get caught? ^^"
  <CommanderStab> Apparantely the cops came around a couple of
  times investigating him. He always told the cops that he had
  got the information pretending to be a 14 year old girl that
  the men had wanted to get in contact with.
  <CommanderStab> Apparantely nobody ever pressed further
  charges =D
  <heythere> damn ... i gotta try that!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911656
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475592
text:
  <Swede> I WONDER WHAT GOD WAS THINKIN WHEN SHE CREATED THE
  MAN
  <Arcadian> I wonder what MAN was thinking when he INVENTED
  GOD...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475697
text:
  <LeoDV> Don't fight for fuel, stroke your tool!
  <KANG> that's the worst slogan anyone has ever had
  <LeoDV> Touch your sack, not Iraq!
  <KANG> I stand corrected.
  <LeoDV> War is heinous, thumb your anus!
  <LeoDV> http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/ This is where
  heroes go when they die
  <KANG> I hate you more than anything


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911657
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475775
text:
  <XorTiN> I am sad, I ain't got nuffin to do and all I can do
  is think about my g/f
  <XorTiN> and she out partyin' w/ some friends or somethin
  <XorTiN> and she's grounded so I can't call her
  <LlnK> she's grounded.. yet she's out partying with guys?>
  <LlnK> wtf
  <LlnK> you're st00pid
  * LlnK backhands some sense into XorTiN
  <Illustrious> weird how she's out partyin and grounded
  <Illustrious> and can't call you
  <Illustrious> blah LlnK you bastard quit reading my mind
  <LlnK> heh
  <LlnK> Illustrious: i stopped when i saw all the kiddy and
  beastiality pr0n


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911658
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475868
text:
  <Mr_E> A) I gotfor about your B and B) I forgot about your A
  <Mr_E> gotfor?!
  <Mr_E> GOTFOR?!
  <Mr_E> my brain is rebelling against me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911658
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.475923
text:
  <Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
  <Bobzilla> argh
  <K Doc> ...
  <Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
  <Bobzilla> It feels good.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911658
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476023
text:
  < nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "{" named.conf.newer
  | wc -l
  < nutbar>   19314
  < nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "}" named.conf.newer
  | wc -l
  < nutbar>   19313
  < nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind]
  < nutbar> great
  * nutbar fumes
  < nutbar> one fucking missing }


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476070
text:
  <Dr_DOS> a typhoon smashed into hong kong
  <Dr_DOS> wiping out 1.5% of their pirated goods
  <Dr_DOS> a total profit of $300,000 for US companies alone


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476112
text:
  [Mew|WC3] linux is unix
  [@SiZZuRp] windows is mac
  [Mew|WC3] it Is unix
  [Mew|WC3] based on the Unix shell
  [Mew|WC3] fucking newbie.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911659
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476175
text:
  <+  XmasCola> "this screener has been electronically coded to
  assist in tracking illegal duplications.  unothorized
  duplication of this screener is stricly forbidden."
  <+  XmasCola> "if you copied it, we know who did it, so you
  might as well just turn yourselves in and then we won't punish
  you as bad"
  <+  XmasCola> "we swear we're not bluffing"
  <+  XmasCola> "we saw hackers"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476226
text:
  <Diamond> There's about 800 people tied up in my basement.
  <Prophet> Oh my
  <Prophet> What do you use them for?
  <mordac> They really bring the room together, you know?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476280
text:
  <Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed
  that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous
  breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and
  popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im.
  It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla
  led."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911660
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476326
text:
  <Guilty> Ya know that fat guy they always show in Palm Beach
  <Guilty> Hes the reason they couldnt get it done


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911661
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476469
text:
  <frubsen> NEVER tell a girl that your dad just died so she
  feel sorry for you and go out with you
  <frubsen> cause when she comes to your door and your dad
  answers
  <frubsen> you got some major problems
  <frubsen> FUCK i'm screwed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476661
text:
  <HeXonXonX> I'm beginning to think the Playboy channel isn't
  based on reality. I don't see my neighbors running through
  sprinklers naked or inviting me over for orgies.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911662
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476738
text:
  <CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
  <CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
  <CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on
  ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and
  like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but
  complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for
  that day
  <CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with
  it, praise can be hard to come by
  <CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send
  me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
  <CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?!
  This is a guy!!
  <CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT
  realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll
  never know >__<


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476846
text:
  <daenonok> i remember this one time, like two years ago my
  girlfriend (at the time) was trying to learn me...somethen, i
  wasn't really paying attention, but she said
  <daenonok> 'if barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on
  all fours'
  <daenonok> after like a minute of thinking i was like 'that
  seems like icing on the cake'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476894
text:
  <Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital
  after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left
  the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
  <morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911663
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476949
text:
  <SkyJammer> I need a cute girl to give me a neck massage.
  <shellspark> What about a semi-attractive monkey?
  <SkyJammer> No.
  <SkyJammer> A cute girl.  Human.
  <MousePad> Your standards are way too high.
  <SkyJammer> Your standards are way too low.
  <shellspark> Perhaps, but I bet he gets his neck massage


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.476991
text:
  SteveDixon23: how hard do you think it would be to build a
  working EMP bomb?
  xanxion: the hard part would be making a video to prove it
  works.
  SteveDixon23: ...
  SteveDixon23: this is true.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477055
text:
  <@Psych0> I wake up to find that someone created a folder in
  my shared
  Folder
  <@Psych0> Called Psycho is gay
  <@Psych0> Furthermore i find two instances of nimda in it
  <@Psych0> anyone find that weird?
  <@Forty> Sounds normal
  <@Forty> Did you update Windows lately?  It's in service pack
  2
  <@Psych0> I have win 98
  <@Psych0> :
  <@Forty> Yeah that sounds right


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911664
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477106
text:
  <ocelot> I've lost my only spoon
  <ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet
  room???!?!
  <Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477177
text:
  <Gorilla> all the other kids got cool sutff like "Air!"
  "Earth!" "Fire!" and the poor little Indian kid kinda
  sheepishly whimpered at the end "....heart...."
  <neored13> They should've given him Metal.
  <GKSetzer> he could be like a glam rocker
  <Zephy> oh yeah. then he'd have been gary glitter.
  <Zephy> "AIR" "FIRE" EARTH" "PAEDOPHILE"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477238
text:
  <DJ_Phatiguez> there is a way you can actually do a jedi mind
  trick?
  <cow> of course there is
  <@tolikin-skywalk> DJ_Phatiguez: rohypnol
  <Githzerai> Why does he wave his hand then?
  <cow> misdirection
  <DJ_Phatiguez> ahahah i got ejected from a pub for trying to
  do a jedi mind trick when they ID'd me
  <DJ_Phatiguez> 'you dont need to see any identification.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911665
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477336
text:
  <c-rOCK> damn my cell phone still reeks of pussy
  <c-rOCK> wheres the febreze
  <Goemon> Hmm...Did you put it on vibrate?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477386
text:
  <Jeph> Anyone have a dedicated server, my host is going out of
  business, and we were buds so I wasn't paying anything, and
  can't right now... heh?
  <sbrain> maybe thats why they were going out of business


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911666
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477474
text:
  <+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black
  people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477528
text:
  <Matto20V> get lost
  <uneekwahn> I can't
  <uneekwahn> I have a map
  * Matto20V points at his asshole
  * uneekwahn opens his map for "the grand canyon"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477574
text:
  <j4yj0hn> look at me! i watch mtv all day! I am brainwashed
  into thinking pop is an excellent style of music! Road Rules!
  Real World! Now to go buy my $100 dollar shirt from american
  eagle or abercrombie because i am a consumer whore!
  <j4yj0hn> i hate television...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911667
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477674
text:
  <Somebody241> i was playing XBL yesterday
  <Somebody241> and i was playing wit my friend
  <Somebody241> and im sure hes maried and everything
  <Somebody241> And all of a sudden
  <Somebody241> His wife comes on the mic and says
  <Somebody241> "Can my husband quit the game so we can have
  sex?"
  <Somebody241> and then some lil 9 year old in my team says
  "Sure just leave the mic on"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477724
text:
  <buzgub> so what you actually wanted to do was change doom?
  <damnerror> yes
  <damnerror> I didnt know it was C
  <damnerror> I thought most games were written in Macromedia


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477770
text:
  <Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
  <Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911668
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477872
text:
  <revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better
  <ImpLin> where i get those?
  <revmoo> kazza mart
  <ImpLin> wheres that?
  <Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google
  <ImpLin> what town?
  <Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477921
text:
  <chaowork> dont singe the wenis
  <faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
  <chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
  <faustwork> you should see how i flip it over


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.477972
text:
  <Inversation> realised there were still debates about wigga
  and christianity etc, kicked the cd player to make it move
  then fell asleep again
  <^Spike^> Debates about WIGGA?
  <^Spike^> Is that some homie pagan religion?
  <^Spike^> Yo yo, whathup mah earth sistas.
  <^Spike^> Word to jo Goddess, aight.
  * ^Spike^ fires his wand at a rival Coven while riding past on
  a unicorn.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911669
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478036
text:
  <wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9720]:
  zirconium (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from
  cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
  <wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9722]:
  zoology (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from
  cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
  <wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9721]: zoo
  (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
  <wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9723]: zoom
  (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
  <wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9724]:
  zooplankton (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from
  cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
  <wankel> WHOA SHIT
  <mendel> someone tell that luser that dictionary attacks refer
  to the PASSWORD part.
  <wankel> christ, 2000 lines back and he was only in w's :)
  <wankel> mankind:~ % grep LOGIN FAILED /var/log/messages | wc
  -l
  <wankel> 8923


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478082
text:
  MultiColoredWiz: My grammar's usually pretty good, but I still
  don't get laid or lain.
  MultiColoredWiz: err..
  Gizmog1: Heheh.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478123
text:
  LoCo643: if you masterbate to the same girl more then 10
  times, it is ok to call them your girlfriend
  LoCo643: its a rule


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911670
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478175
text:
  <@Patrick> well damn
  <@Patrick> this map says 1 inch = 4 miles
  <@Patrick> and i dont have a fucking ruler
  <@Patrick> ill use my dick


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911671
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478293
text:
  -!- xINSANEx [ludacris@ilmtps27.shawneelink.net] has joined #
  php
  < xINSANEx> Can someone please go to my website and test the
  counter?
  < xINSANEx> i need to make sure its working properly.. i just
  fixed the php code
  < Inominate> xINSANEx: No i cant
  < Inominate> I'd like to but am unable to
  < horros> Inominate: me neither.
  < horros> i really have the urge to check out your counter,
  xINSANEx, but i'm not able to.
  < xINSANEx> heh.. oh well no biggy
  < Inominate> lol
  < xINSANEx> i hate to bother fuckos like you
  -!- xINSANEx [ludacris@ilmtps27.shawneelink.net] has left #php
  []
  < horros> hahahaha
  < Inominate> hahahahahahahah
  < Inominate> ROFL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911671
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478339
text:
  * FlipMeign is HELLA STRAIGHT
  * CaliSean is STRAIGHTER
  <soupking> straight? so's spaghetti till u heat it up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478491
text:
  <Spink> man
  <Spink> I shot myself in the neck, that sucked
  <Minion> it's too bad you obviously survived
  <Spink> yeah
  <Spink> If only it was a gun
  <Spink> I'd probably be happier
  <Minion> We'd all be happier
  <Spink> jizz on my collar :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911672
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478540
text:
  *Duck has joined #linux
  <Duck> does anyone know how to fix my harddisk memory when i
  get the error: After you restart your system, check that you
  have sufficient hard disk memory secured.
  <@Cradly> Duck try not filling your hard drive 100%
  <Duck> how do i not do that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478605
text:
  vickiholt: do you know what I hate?
  fyrestorm: What?
  vickiholt: I spent over three months writing a friggin' manual
  for our document control system and people still do a quick
  tutorial around the desk
  vickiholt: I don't mind that
  vickiholt: what I hate is when THEY DON'T READ THE FRIGGIN'
  MANUAL FIRST
  vickiholt: A tutorial should not include the words "lets just
  see what happens if I do <click> this"
  vickiholt: The friggin' book tells you
  vickiholt: it's not a big document as I spent time making sure
  it was short
  vickiholt: <fume>
  vickiholt: 3 f***in' months
  vickiholt: of having meetings with some of the most boring
  (admin) people in the world
  vickiholt: <super power fume>
  vickiholt: Oooh chocolate
  vickiholt: </fume>


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478654
text:
  <daenonok> you gotta be like
  <daenonok> "OW!!! PENIS CRAMP!! owie owie owie"
  <daenonok> then ask her to rub it for you :P


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911674
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478713
text:
  < Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make
  his chair lean back
  < Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
  < Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
  < Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his
  phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478818
text:
  <NightShade> hey Bamihap, lets do a singalong :D
  <NightShade> The internet is really really great
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> i got a fast connection, so i dont have to wait
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> there's always some new site
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> i browse all day and night
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> its like surfing at the speed of light
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <Bamihap> WHY DO YOU THINK THE NET WAR BORN???
  <Bamihap> PORN PORN PORN!!!!
  <herr_flick> roflol
  <NightShade> I'm glad we have this new technology
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> which gives us untold opportunity
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> from your own desktop, you can research browse
  and shop
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <NightShade> untill you want to stop
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN
  <Bamihap> ALL THESE GUYS UNZIP THEYR FLIES
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN
  <herr_flick> lmao!!!
  <Bamihap> SO GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE-CLICK
  <Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN!!!!
  <NightShade> o.m.f.g. :D
  <Bamihap> sorry shade, we masturbate ;)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478869
text:
  ð da5id is listening to Chicago - Hard to say I'm sorry - Get
  Away.mp3
  <da5id> I better stop listening to chicago lest I invert
  ð da5id is listening to Godsmack - Awake(Definatly have a
  penis-REMIX).mp3
  <da5id> ahh there we go.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911675
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.478928
text:
  <HF> uhm...  from CNET Shopping...  This Western Digital
  Raptor WD360GD .... Its data transfer rate of 150
  megabits-per-second is relatively fast, compared to the
  typical hard drive.
  <HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD2500JD .... Compared to
  a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150
  megabits-per-second is relatively slow.
  <HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD1200JD .... Compared to
  a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150
  megabits-per-second is fairly standard.
  <HF> Well at least they cover all the bases
  <HF> "Goldie Locks and the Three Hard Drives"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479025
text:
  <Dave2|Laptop> http://b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/
  <Dave2|Laptop>  <-- That is disgusting.
  <GroovyPigThang> !addquote <Dave2|Laptop>  <-- That is
  disgusting.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479073
text:
  <DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
  loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911676
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479149
text:
  <Nikari> $h1t
  <Ferrari> |=uc|<
  <Ferrari> |317C|-|
  <Nikari> |= |_| < |<
  <Ferrari> haha
  <Ferrari> |3][¯|¯c|-|
  <Nikari> |> /- // ||
  <DragonPhoeniX> ( () ( |<  5 |_| ( |< ][ || (¬   |) () |_| ( |
  -| |= |3 / (¬
  <Ferrari> ...
  <Nikari> D=
  <Nikari> I think we've been owned
  <Ferrari> retardedly owned


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479201
text:
  <punchcard_uc> guinness
  <punchcard_uc> aaahh
  <punchcard_uc> even the shittiest days at work disappear with
  a guinni
  <punchcard_uc> along with lots of other memories im sure
  <punchcard_uc> cant remember really


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479243
text:
  (@Josh) do you know where your children are
  (~cypher) in the bottom of the sock on the floor
  (@equin0x) ..
  (@Josh) for your mother to find?
  ! @Josh thinks his mom caught him a few times
  (~cypher) its not going to clean itself :S


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479299
text:
  <GIJosh> do you still  have an MP3 server robin?
  <robin> yes
  <GIJosh> same place as before?
  <robin> nope
  <GIJosh> where is it?
  <robin> 127.0.0.1
  <GIJosh> cant connect
  <GIJosh> default port?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911677
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479347
text:
  <vrit> today my coworker ordered takeout from the chinese
  place
  <vrit> and naturally it was "mongoloid beef"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479428
text:
  <parucha> So the other night I can't sleep, so I go downstairs
  and pour a bowl of cereal and decide I'll eat it in my room
  while I watch Conan.
  <parucha> After I pour my cereal, I turn the lights back off
  and it's pitch black as I walk up the stairs to my bedroom.
  <parucha> By the way, I'm only wearing a pair of silk shorts.
  <parucha> So I'm trying to balance my bowl of cereal in the
  dark so I don't spill, thinking I'm doing okay. When I reach
  the top of the stairs, the bowl tips and I feel it spill all
  over my shorts.
  <parucha> So I walk back downstairs to grab a rag and clean
  up. I find a roll of paper towels and I pick up all the cereal
  inside it and walk downstairs to throw it away and put my bowl
  in the sink.
  Then I start to clean up the milk on the floor and on my
  shorts.
  <parucha> Well this is near my parents' bedroom, and as I'm
  cleaning, I hear them having sex. Being male, I start to get
  an erection at the sounds of sex, despite the fact that I know
  it's my parents having the sex.
  <parucha> So I try to tune it out and hurry up with the spilt
  milk. In the midst of all this, I start to have a coughing
  fit. A result of being a smoker.
  <parucha> A minute later, my mom opens her bedroom door -
  wrapped in a blanket - and sees me standing there with an
  erection bulging through my shorts, which are still wet with a
  seeping liquid, and a paper towel in my hand dripping white
  stuff, all outside her bedroom door where she and my dad were
  just having sex.
  <parucha> I've never thought seriously about running away from
  home until that night.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479470
text:
  Creamate: if i were black
  toppington_kek: you could fuck your wife
  Creamate: i would be a cardiac surgeon already
  toppington_kek: oh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911678
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479516
text:
  <storm_> http://www.cnn.com/2000/NATURE/01/13/monkey.cloning/
  index.html
  <storm_> they clone them and send them on to irc


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479608
text:
  <Justin|> tool: hey, you wanna hear a really horrible love
  story?
  <Nemephosis> you broke your hand?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479655
text:
  syamajala: thats y i applied
  stonecrest: why. the word is why.
  syamajala: my double u and |-| keys don't double-u-ork.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911679
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479703
text:
  <Vigrel> Woah, if my shit was a nuke aimed at Hiroshima,
  Russia would get blown up
  <Kor1413> It was That big?
  <Vigrel> No, i missed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479755
text:
  <Fozzie> why is it so hard to find a good windows font?
  <Fozzie> bah
  <Fozzie> what a craptastic os.
  <dithi> you get what you pay for
  <Fozzie> you mean the copies you buy are better?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911680
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479870
text:
  < EvanStone> Have u guys seen that babe on the special
  Olympics commercial
  < EvanStone> Hnnnnng
  < fred> wtf
  < fred> EvanStone has a disabled person fetish
  < vitro> omg
  < EvanStone> What
  < vitro> i almost choked to death while reading that
  < EvanStone> Only her brain is fucked
  < vitro> EvanStone is fucked
  < EvanStone> Not her face
  < EvanStone> Yo vitro is mad judgemental
  < EvanStone> Like a retard can't be sexy
  < EvanStone> Plz stop discriminating


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.479965
text:
  <Codek> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
  <Codek> You're a Siamese twin. Your brother is gay and you're
  not.
  <Codek> But you only have the one ass.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480014
text:
  <wuntvor> One thing I've noticed is that actual knowledge and
  certifications are inversely proportional.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911681
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480065
text:
  <Statutory_Sam> some of us have real lives we must attend to
  occasionaly
  <Statutory_Sam> ::read::"Doing Laundry"
  <seafoodgod> real lives == alt-tab


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480115
text:
  <lilp00t> give me somin new to make fun of u for
  <death2all82> ummmm i came in today and idled and u went on
  for like 45mins. until i responde. then i left for a half an
  hour and u were still going on talking to no1
  <death2all82> now the fruitcake is PMing me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480172
text:
  * Solid_Snake has quit IRC (Read error: Operation timed out)
  <+an1me> NO, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING, SNAKE!
  SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!#!#
  <@Master_Tang> rofl
  <Shaytan> LOL
  <Corellion> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480223
text:
  <seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
  <seelet> wtf
  <HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking
  weed, and fucking chicks
  <seelet> :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911682
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480333
text:
  <otto> so... whats everyone up to tonight?
  <Sauron> I'm doing a few things; checking my ebay account,
  cleaning the computer area, studying for a test in school
  tomorrow, and eating these hot pockets.
  <Sauron> and of course, IRCing like a mofo.
  <XDA> masturbating
  <Raven> Porn.
  <fry> porn
  <otto> "which one doesn't belong here..."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480402
text:
  <Fortis> I'm only going to be able to fuck the "right girl"
  <Fortis> I'm like
  <Fortis> a romantic about it
  <Fortis> but I say "fuck"
  <Fortis> I'm all
  <Fortis> "Yeah well I want to be in love before I crack the
  bitch's gash and pound her slush hole"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480471
text:
  Session Start: Tue May 18 18:38:17 1999
  <Ludi> Hey unban me please! :)
  <miss> hey i didnt do it this time dickhead
  <Ludi> So, you're an op, you can unban me!
  <miss> do i want to though....
  <Ludi> Yes I think you do :)
  <miss> whinge to anaconda
  <Ludi> Oh yeah, that's the one
  <Ludi> Thanks!
  <Ludi> So ... doing anything this Friday?
  <miss> wtf!?!?
  <Ludi> uhh nothing.
  <Ludi> BYE
  Session Close: Tue May 18 18:56:31 1999


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911683
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480513
text:
  arcanis41190: im so pissed that i spilled chlorine on my
  shorts
  arcanis41190: it was a good pair too
  arcanis41190: not even a sharpie is working
  arcanis41190: magic marker my ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480565
text:
  <@buo> A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender
  asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender
  nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480615
text:
  < mfh> fuck
  < mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may
  be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
  <@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good
  programmer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911684
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480667
text:
  [12:10] <KeeperX> Uptime: 1w 6d 30m 27s 74ms
  [12:10] <KeeperX> that is what you can do with windows uptime,
  boys and girls.
  [12:54] <KeeperX> HOLY SHIT, THE COMPUTER'S ON FIRE!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480840
text:
  <kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those
  "100 dollar laptops" for its people.
  <kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911685
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.480931
text:
  (siege) once a s'kiddie, always a s'kiddie
  (PeeDeeCee) indeed
  (siege) same with alcoholism
  (PeeDeeCee) same with dalnet
  (siege) hahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481002
text:
  <Temujin> What class are phoenixes?
  <Lewk> Water pokemon
  <Temujin> We made up a pokémon today at school.
  <Temujin> It's called the "Mexican".
  <Temujin> It shoots dirty food and water at you.
  <Temujin> And it's special skill is making 15,000 babies and
  stealing jobs away from people
  <Nighters> Temujin you racist bugger.
  <Temujin> "Mexican, I choose you! CROSS THE BORDER ATTACK!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911686
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481054
text:
  <zugz> I can't stand people that preach, "Only God can judge"
  and yet simultaneously ridicule others for adultery, etc
  <zugz> I don't know about what they believe, but my God wants
  me to get some.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481166
text:
  <Joe-> put
  <Joe-> cant u do
  <Joe-> if like
  <Joe-> it
  <Joe-> joins
  <Joe-> any proxy
  <Phunk> cant
  <Phunk> you put
  <Phunk> your shit
  <Phunk> on
  <Phunk> one line
  <Phunk> ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481211
text:
  Travis: you know i'm part native american right?
  Scott: which part?
  Travis: small part
  Scott: your penis is native american?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481261
text:
  <Xenecrite> wanna hear a joke?
  <Xenecrite> Women's Rights
  <Lone_wolf_gurl> you have 5 seconds to start running.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911687
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481309
text:
  < Begbie> I wonder if I pester the Real Doll company long
  enough, if they'll produce a midget Real Doll?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481363
text:
  <sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> i thought you did music?
  <baygledawg> oh i wish
  <baygledawg> that would be my second dream job
  <sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> what's your first? professional
  sperm producer?
  <baygledawg> ok, writing music would be my third dream job


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481411
text:
  <PixieDee> GIVE ME A YOUNG MAN TO SACRIFICE
  *** tao|Cyrus- is now known as tao|Cyrus-dieing
  <PixieDee> omg i don't want a grammatically incorrect
  sacrificial young man.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481466
text:
  <SnakesAnd> I have a college degree, a cute dog, I play
  guitar, a nice house, a brand new Harley, and I'm single
  <kizman> *
  <kizman> but your ugly
  <SnakesAnd> I must be
  <SnakesAnd> that's the only thing I can think of


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911688
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481516
text:
  <bi0h4z4r_> north korea is test firing missiles right now
  <bi0h4z4r_> on fox news
  <@argv[0]> thats where i would test my missiles too
  <@argv[0]> fox news headquarters


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481558
text:
  (+Normandy) is there an online talking clock anywhere?
  (+Glittz) roflmao
  (+Kazimierz) he wishes to hear the secksay lady voice tell him
  the time
  (+Normandy) not twue! ;(
  (+Normandy) is there one then?
  (+Kazimierz) www.clock.com
  (+Kazimierz) or something
  (+Dogsdinner) www.omfgtehonlineclock0r.com
  (+Kazimierz) I dunno
  (+Morikins) lol
  (+Glittz) www.time.co.uk
  (+wu) #the-time
  (+Normandy) You all suck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481604
text:
  Under the fence: if your mom were a farm animal, she'd be a
  sloth
  Hobbes659: a sloth isn't a farm animal
  Under the fence: damn it, theres gotta be a sloth farm
  somewhere around here


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911689
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481659
text:
  <Satan> I need.
  <Satan> A fucking optical mouse.
  <Satan> So I don't have to deal with dirty balls anymore.
  <Satan> .. Er, yeah.
  <rapty> X_X


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481757
text:
  <PirateKing> The ultimate girl is any girl who will have sex
  with me.
  <Jim`> I wouldn't call a prostitute the ultimate girl.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481806
text:
  <weed> the wife goes "Why don't you marry your computer geek
  friends this saturday instead of me!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911690
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481847
text:
  Notnilc:       Is Eric working today?
  Jwald90726:    If by  working  you mean  Fucking a minor  then
  yes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481895
text:
  Shamp00kiE: i have to draw lots
  Shamp00kiE: of boring stuff
  Shamp00kiE: well boring people
  Shamp00kiE: i dont like drawing people i know. im always
  afarid ill fuck up and i ususally do
  ECBoots84: Anything specific?
  Shamp00kiE: 2 portraits of friends or family, and 2 sitting
  poses of friends and crap
  ECBoots84: Ooooh...fun
  Shamp00kiE: yeah
  Shamp00kiE: i dont want to hear "why do i look like crap?! you
  think i look like crap!! oh god im ugly!" and then crying
  afterwards
  ECBoots84: I guess you're not the only one in your social
  circle who overreacts then
  Shamp00kiE: i dont really have one, so i was just projecting
  myself if i was being drawn i guess
  Shamp00kiE: *shrug*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.481979
text:
  <+JimBastard> you wouldnt believe what just happened
  <+JimBastard> i've been tracking my macbook all day on fedex,
  gets signed for by "One CHILETA" at 3pm...while im at work
  <+JimBastard> turns it was misdelivered....TO THE MARCY
  PROJECTS IN BROOKLYN
  <+JimBastard> A BRAND NEW LAPTOP
  <+JimBastard> so what did jim bastard do?
  <+JimBastard> I put on a button up shirt, black leather
  jacket, kakhis, and a dress shoes
  <+JimBastard> went to the address
  <+JimBastard> and pretended i was a detective
  <+JimBastard> laptop is sitting on their desk
  <+JimBastard> "Maam I'm here about a misdelievered package"
  <+JimBastard> "We know its here"
  <+JimBastard> "We just want it back, or else I'm going to have
  to come back with a warrant"
  <+JimBastard> "and no one wants that"
  <+JimBastard> never underestimate the power of a well dressed
  well spoken white man in the hood
  <+JimBastard> the guy took one look at me as he was walking
  towards the door....turned around and came back with the
  package


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911691
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482031
text:
  *** Schatten has joined #werenet
  <ALW> Hello Schatten
  <Schatten> HI There
  <ALW> This is ALW, an automated greeting bot on #werenet. Type
  1 and hit return for more info.
  <Schatten> 1
  * ALW cackles
  <ALW> Well that was fun for two-minutes.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482096
text:
  <Keebs> all mighty keebs is left with no computer other than
  his FreeBSD machine.
  <Parak> almighty?
  <Keebs> Until I can get some new ram.
  <Keebs> All righty
  <Keebs> sorry
  <Delver> bummer
  <Delver> what happened? sneakers again?
  <Delver> burn bios too many times?
  <Keebs> Heh, no...the RAM is shot.
  <Keebs> God I'm speaking as if my computer was a car with an
  transmission problem.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482193
text:
  <MrSede> They made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera. I was like
  "woah, they made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera." Then I
  didn't watch it
  <Geothermal> you too eh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911692
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482241
text:
  <DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him
  santa.
  <XtACY> ???????
  <DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482301
text:
  Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street
  and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a
  coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
  TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
  Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a
  fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves
  on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws
  it on her
  Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like
  she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat,
  you dumb bitch!"
  Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says
  "that's okay, it's fake blood"
  TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911693
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482349
text:
  <Toba> i like my coffee like i like my women: earthy, french,
  and on my desk at work
  <nightshroud> But be careful or you may end up with burning
  pain on your lap area.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482543
text:
  <ats> duncan: you brain needs a sleep.. interrupts turned off
  <duncan> ats: I have three non-maskable interrupts...
  <ats> duncan: wife and two kids?
  <duncan> ats: my wife is maskable
  <ats> three kids ??
  <duncan> ats: yes.  It seemed like a good idea at the time...
  * duncan reboots his brain
  <-- duncan has quit (Quit: ircII/tkirc)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911694
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482599
text:
  <EqD> How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
  <Castille> 1 to cry about it, 5 to post to an indie rock forum
  talking about how great the new lightbulb is, 15 to say that
  the old lightbulb was just fine, and to wish they'd stop
  changing their light and 25 to flame each other on typoes and
  musical taste?
  <Castille> so ... 41?
  <EqD> Frankly, I don't care.  Let the little fuckers cry in
  the dark.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482658
text:
  <kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
  <kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone
  knows is going to break under the pressure
  <FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they
  vote for her?
  <kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza
  and saw a moderatly cute girl
  <kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way
  and get her in bed
  <mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
  <kung_fu_mike> from behind is right


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482705
text:
  (@Blaxthos) CANTON, Georgia (AP) -- Christmas is still going
  strong for 14-year-old Nick Waters.
  (@Blaxthos) When the boy's church asked what he wanted for
  Christmas, Nick, who cannot talk and was born with no arms,
  slowly typed his reply with his feet: Lots of Christmas cards.
  Ten thousand of them.
  (@Blaxthos) jesus christ
  (@Blaxthos) ASK FOR ARMS DUMBASS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911695
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482760
text:
  <St1s> im in the middle of setting up te page
  <St1s> but it takes time coz when i get stoned i just look for
  hours
  <St1s> and then change the font for example...then look again
  <spanges> then completely lose focus
  <St1s> yeah
  <St1s> or change everything
  <St1s> like wtf, this sux!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911696
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.482961
text:
  <Harrit> dv you arround?
  <Bionic_6> digital video it all around us
  <Bionic_6> it's in the air u breathe
  <Bionic_6> the water u drink
  <Bionic_6> the unconcisous girl u fuck
  <Bionic_6> everywhere
  <Harrit> dv8... you still around?
  <Harrit> smart ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483040
text:
  <PotatoSan> Why in the hell is King Boo a heavyweight
  character in Double Dash?
  <PotatoSan> HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING GHOST!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911697
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483108
text:
  <No_One> Damn my land mine collection is gone.
  <No_One> Also so is my shed
  <No_One> That's gonna be fun in the morning
  15 minutes later.
  <No_One> Fuck afk police pulled in
  <Dwarf> k
  <Dwarf> have fun
  10 minutes later.
  <No_One> Shiit
  <No_One> Someone broke into my shed
  <No_One> They won't do that again
  3 hours later.
  <No_One> Can I be charged with criminal negligence even if the
  said deceased person used bolt cutters to access something
  that killed them?
  <noregister> I doubt it
  <No_One> Good


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911698
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483158
text:
  <Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my
  pull parity
  <happy> flip the bits, STAT
  <Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
  <thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might
  be making this shit up.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483209
text:
  <dizzyg> Sinbad + hamster + KY jelly == happy
  <RubberDuck> the thing about hamsters is that the ky sticks to
  the hair and to get them clean afterwards is a beech
  <RubberDuck> or so i've been told


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911699
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483304
text:
  *** Yukanojo sets mode: +b stupid!people@everywhere
  (Yukanojo): PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK
  *** Renegade_R (renegade_@24.101.100.99) has joined #help
  (Yukanojo): Damn, didn't work
  (Renegade_R): what?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483397
text:
  <xTaVx> im bored
  <EvilChatOp> you're aways bored
  <EvilChatOp> go masterbate or somethign
  <xTaVx> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911700
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483446
text:
  <HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common?
  <HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then
  you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483544
text:
  (Torben): a friend of mine drank a glass of vomit for another
  small frat, although he could have said no to that
  (Torben): he got 90 euros for it but i would still never do
  that
  (Alomar): didnt he drink a glass of piss, threw that up and
  someone else drank that piss-vomit?
  (Torben): err another friend drank the piss first
  (bananana): what the fuck is wrong with people?
  (Biggdogg): yea, id tell them to shove that up their frathappy
  asses, heh
  (Torben): i'm now confusing things, the piss-drinker got the
  90 euros, the other one got nothing
  ([TE]Plantman): lol
  (Torben): but still
  (Biggdogg): piss drinker. something to be proud of, heh
  (Torben): :p
  ([TE]Plantman): which is worse? Doing something like that for
  free, or doing it for money? In one you're sort of a
  prostitute...in the other you're just stupid :p
  (bananana): you can fuck a thousand men and noone will say a
  thing.. but drink piss once and you're branded as a
  piss-drinker for life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483591
text:
  <Fntc> Has jetchan exploded yet?
  <JetSki> yes... thank goodness for duct tape
  <Fntc> Wow I never thought of using duct tape for masturbation


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483637
text:
  <dorkmo> Hey what do you do when a cop asks you too walk on
  the line?
  <Technofrek> uh,.... ask which one?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911701
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483692
text:
  * ||XanT|| touches self
  <RoseyCat> none of that!
  <||XanT||> but
  <||XanT||> but
  <||XanT||> it feels so GOOD
  <RoseyCat> I said NO.
  <||XanT||> ..............brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483743
text:
  <Samurai> She isn't forcing anyone! she haven't asked them of
  nothing½!
  <enisoc> how the hell do you type a ½ symbol by accident??


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483784
text:
  Whiskey: u know that chick that u said was stalking u or
  somethign like a while ago?
  XAsHeSX: hmm
  XAsHeSX: no
  XAsHeSX: i forget
  Whiskey: u sent me a naked picture of her
  Whiskey: cuz she was sending them to u
  XAsHeSX: oh yea
  Whiskeyinmy: i saw her today at walmart lol
  XAsHeSX: i was in walmart today :-/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911702
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483841
text:
  <Rhett> yes yes, but that's bringing hyperbole into an
  argument that, while silly, remains grounded in fact
  <moros|sreep> I'm not quite sure what hyperbole is, come to
  think of it..
  <Rhett> it's where the ADD children have their football
  championship


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483888
text:
  <Chikster>Does anyone know if I can DL a complete version of
  photoshop on the net?
  <Gary> They have photoshop on Pcs...
  <Chikster> God why do newbies all try an help me..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911703
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.483947
text:
  <AriaStargazer> the other day
  <AriaStargazer> in the car
  <AriaStargazer> i was in traffic
  <AriaStargazer> and i thought to myself
  <AriaStargazer> "jesus this lag sucks"
  <AriaStargazer> and then i looked around
  <AriaStargazer> and i was like
  <AriaStargazer> ..............


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484088
text:
  <Campbell> You know you're seriously got nothing better to do
  when you start measuring time in units other than minutes and
  hours.
  <Oli[bath]> Win2k uptime: two quadrillion two hundred thirteen
  trillion seven hundred seventy-nine billion six hundred
  twenty-one million two hundred five thousand two hundred
  ninety-two Caesium-133 Radiation-periods
  (2,213,779,621,205,292| 2 days, 18 hours, 53 mins, 41 secs)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484139
text:
  <Sunny> Holy crap!
  <Sunny> No wonder I'm always being stared at by the cat across
  the way
  <Sunny> There are two of them!!!
  <Sunny> They must have been taking shifts...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911704
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484193
text:
  <Darth-Phenom> I remember in third grade I was taught that
  it's sinful to erase the word "God".  But now I backspace
  "god" when I want to type "good" so frequently I'm obviously
  going to Hell.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484242
text:
  <djglitch> my house is full of doctor's mask and water bottles
  <djcrom> house party?
  <djglitch> yea, hehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484289
text:
  <Flac> Ahh, IRC, Kind of like downloading porn on limewire,
  When you open it up, your never quite sure what your going to
  see, but odds are good that it will scar you for life.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911705
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484402
text:
  <Jim`> Casey loves me, tel.
  <Jim`> We're best friends.
  <SarahS> Jim is afraid of Casey though.
  <Jim`> I WAS because he's SHARP and LOUD, but I'm fine now.
  <telarium> Do you help him masturbate?
  <Jim`> I played with him and stuff.
  <Psitron> ...
  <Jim`> Er...
  <acdcfanbill> ~_^
  <Jim`> Bad timing.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484546
text:
  <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
  <@SJr> g                                               g
  <@SJr> o /                              /           o
  <@SJr> a|       |                       |      |      a
  <@SJr> t|       `.             |         |       :     t
  <@SJr> s`        |             |        |       |     s
  <@SJr> e        | /       /  \   --__ \       :    e
  <@SJr> x        /   _--~~          ~--__|      |    x
  <@SJr> *         _-~                    ~-_    |    *
  <@SJr> g    _             _.--------.______|   |    g
  <@SJr> o           ______// _ ___ _ (_(__>     |    o
  <@SJr> a          .  C ___)  ______ (_(____>  |  /    a
  <@SJr> t       / |   C ____)/       (_____>  |_/     t
  <@SJr> s      / /|   C_____)       |  (___>   /      s
  <@SJr> e     |   (   _C_____)______/  // _/ /        e
  <@SJr> x     |      |__   \_________// (__/       |  x
  <@SJr> *    |     ____)   `----   --'             |  *
  <@SJr> g    |  _          ___       /_          _/ | g
  <@SJr> o   |              /    |     |              | o
  <@SJr> a   |             |    /                    | a
  <@SJr> t   |          / /    |         |             |t
  <@SJr> s   |         / /      __/___/    |          |s
  <@SJr> e  |         / /        |    |       |         |e
  <@SJr> x  |          |         |    |       |         |x
  <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911706
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484596
text:
  <_Obi-Wan_> so what should we discuss?
  <Liquid> ....hmm....Ebonics!
  <_Obi-Wan_> ebonics?
  <Andy_Hock> The disease?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484650
text:
  <tigerbot_hesh> "Knuckles of Fury" on amazon? heh heh
  <MikeyPain> I actually got mine in the mail from him

  <MikeyPain> some of the pages were stuck together though


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484750
text:
  <tanuki> FunkyMonkey: I have a friend who tried shitting out
  of a tree stand while hunting
  <tanuki> he dropped his coveralls, hung his ass over the side,
  and let fly... but when he was done, he went to zip up the
  coveralls, flipped the hood up...
  <tanuki> *thwack*
  <tanuki> he ended up shitting in the hood of his coveralls
  without realizing it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911707
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484812
text:
  <Crack[H]eaD> That brings up an interesting point....
  According to the license agreement of some software you dont
  own it... you are merely renting it
  <Crack[H]eaD> so by downloading the software am I borrowing
  it?
  <Lasuuco> yeah crack
  <Lasuuco> hence the term
  <Lasuuco> "licensed"
  <Crack[H]eaD> I should make a bunch of bumper stickers that
  say "Borrowing is not a crime" ;)
  <bigfoot> could i borrow one?
  <Crack[H]eaD> Fuck yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484859
text:
  (SithAdmin): fsck
  (SithAdmin): paper cut on tongue
  ([TeMpEsT]): ouch
  (Rambozo): ooh...
  ([TeMpEsT]): how did you manage that sith?
  (Rambozo): he tried to eat out a paper model of anna
  kournikova
  (Rambozo): it came as a cutout in a magazine
  ([TeMpEsT]): lmao
  (Rambozo): :D
  (Rambozo): "Put tab A into slot B" "I sure will!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.484996
text:
  <Hvatti> MY CAPS-LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT
  OFF.. CAN ANYONE HELP ME???
  <[DoD]Xiao> typ capslock button :P
  <aegis> Hvatti: hold down shift while writing instead...^^
  <Hvatti> hey that shift-thing works thx!!!
  <Hvatti> but it*s pretty difficult to write while holding a
  shift:::
  <Lilly-> omg
  <Lilly-> Hvatti find "caps lock" key and press it once
  <Lilly-> number 3 from bottom left
  <Hvatti> where can i find it
  <Tiger> hehe :D
  <aegis> at the left of your keyboard
  <Hvatti> ok thanx::
  <Hvatti> YES IT WORKED!!!
  <Lilly-> aamm
  <aegis> apparently it didn't
  <Lilly-> lol
  <Hvatti> CAN I NOW RELEASE THE SHIFT?
  <aegis> yes
  <aegis> you have to release the shift.
  <Lilly-> omg how sweet !!
  <Hvatti> like this?
  * Lilly- faints
  <aegis> yep, just like that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911708
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485047
text:
  <dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to
  yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill
  these people and get away with it?'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485154
text:
  <Setups> is it a forest fire?
  <Setups> I CAN SEE THE SMOKE FROM MY HOUSE
  <SneakyPete> wtf going on setups? what state?
  <Setups> its in alberta
  <Setups> canada
  <Raider|FIRE> must be forest fire
  <travelyan> they have fire in canada?
  <Setups> fuck you
  <Setups> eh


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485208
text:
  <Mr_BoGgLeS> she said you looked edible mosey..
  <Mousey> well boggles
  <Mousey> if she thinks im edible
  <Mousey> she probably is fat
  <Mousey> i have no fat on me
  <Mousey> eating me would be like going on a diet


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911709
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485260
text:
  <ped> man hotmail is so gay
  <ped> ecspecially now
  <JC_Omega> ped, I've told you before its hotmail not
  www.hotmale.com
  <@SJr> LOL


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485308
text:
  Video games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us
  as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills
  and listening to repetitive music. - Kristian Wilson, CEO at
  Nintendo Gaming Corporation Inc.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485358
text:
  <cX> I LIKE BLOOD TRICKLING FROM MY PLANK SHAPED RECTUM
  <cX> THATS WHAT I LIKE
  <cX> CUZ IM A MERICAN
  <cX> FROM MERICA


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911710
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485414
text:
  <Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
  <Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
  <Rogue> i pressed down
  <Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
  <Rogue> he is an asshole
  * Rogue slaps his dad


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485504
text:
  <Frankie> hmm, ive got a sky channel in my room and im
  watching my dad trying to get porn on it downstairs


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485547
text:
  [@cOoke]: If there were a building that stood for average
  intelligence, you would be the plane that crashed into it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911711
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485599
text:
  <Guilty> Mmm
  <Guilty> I love this song
  <Guilty> The best is when I listen to it driving home from the
  beach and the sun is setting, then I crash into a lamp pole
  because I was looking at the sky
  <Guilty> Which happens nearly daily


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485656
text:
  <@Laplie|Gone> I just don't place periods at the end of my
  sentences every time.
  <@TacoMaster> Periods are important...
  <@TacoMaster> You start missing periods...
  <@TacoMaster> Next thing you know...
  <@TacoMaster> BLAMMO!
  <@TacoMaster> Babies.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485704
text:
  <Hoju> have you seen this?  http://www.somethingawful.com/
  jeffk/
  <Steve> think all those typos are on purpose?
  <Hoju> .....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485770
text:
  <kingofign> I was talking to a HUGE anti-piracy friend
  yesterday
  <kingofign> and he said
  <kingofign> "Piracy is stealing"
  <kingofign> "You wouldn't steal a wallet, or a purse, or a
  car"
  <kingofign> And I say
  <kingofign> "Dude, you can download cars now?  What newsgroups
  are YOU signed up to?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911712
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485822
text:
  * @etelmo gets the RIAA on Merlin for his MP3's
  <Merlin> what MP3s?
  <@etelmo> They can find anything, even if it isnt there
  <@etelmo> they should make em search iraq
  <Merlin> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485873
text:
  <Hydrac7> We're desperate to get rid of it
  <Astroboy> so desperate you will give it away for free?
  <Hydrac7> People around here are too poor to get ripped off by
  me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911713
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.485921
text:
  <StoneDog> The mental image that went with getting head from a
  severed head?
  <StoneDog> Didn't bug me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486012
text:
  Lamesauce: Good god
  Lamesauce: There's a Pimple Congressional Meeting going on on
  my face.
  Lamesauce: I think they just passed a bill...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486057
text:
  OhTheCommotion: This "Comedy Central presents..." was brought
  to me by Windows Vista
  OhTheCommotion: But this show came on at the time it was
  scheduled to come on
  OhTheCommotion: So someone is lying to me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486116
text:
  <guider> i fucking hate my biology teacher
  <garfep> why?
  <guider> hes such an asshole, he treats me like his fucking
  personal assistant
  <guider> he has me file shit for him and like make his lesson
  plans and shit while he sits and flirts with the chicks in my
  class
  <guider> so i'm skipping his stupid class tomorrow
  <garfep> you should just leave and be like "suck my cock"
  <guider> i bet if i was a girl he would


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911714
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486176
text:
  <Snoper> how do i find the book I want
  <Vultar> Type "@find bookname"
  <Snoper> "@find bookname"
  <Snoper> It didnt do anything. now what do I do ?
  <Vultar> Tell your parents that cousins shouldn't marry...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486226
text:
  <DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark
  episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the
  keyword 'southpark'!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486278
text:
  <FLoRa> i'd actually rather be ugly than fat
  <milenko> hmm i dont think so
  <milenko> you can lose fat
  <milenko> BUT YOU CANT LOSE UGLY!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911715
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486331
text:
  <user> uhhh.
  <IJ> Hi.
  <user> hi. I'm still having problems with the akick.
  <IJ> On which channel?
  <user> I was opped, then I got disconnected, and now my ghost
  just permbanned me.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486474
text:
  <Zombie_Punk> You bastards wouldn't know a Clerks reference if
  it analy raped your mother while pouring sugar in your
  gastank.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911716
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486548
text:
  <earmuff-man> Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
  <earmuff-man> And it's really got me worried
  <earmuff-man> I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
  <earmuff-man> And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
  <spinifex> earmuff man can i be an op?
  <spinifex> just for tonight?
  <earmuff-man> ok
  <spinifex>
  * earmuff-man sets mode: +o spinifex
  * ChanServ sets mode: +l 12
  <earmuff-man> Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
  * earmuff-man was kicked by spinifex (quit your singing bitch)
  <spinifex> bahahahhhaa


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486589
text:
  |foomanchoo| i have a crush on this lady with a mullet at
  school, i think she has a 4 year old kid too
  |Teargarden| a mullet?
  |foomanchoo| yeah she looks terrible
  |foomanchoo| maybe i feel sorry for her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911717
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486638
text:
  AdrianO: Aq: I thought you'd renounced the yellow shirt of
  doom?
  Aquarion: Not totally, anyway.
  Aquarion: I wore it to work to see the effect.
  Aquarion: Said effect being, and I quote "Fucking hell,
  that's a loud shirt"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486776
text:
  <OpsuPup> i just got some imaginary donuts, and they are
  fucking nice
  <Xta-C> i just had imaginary sex, and it was disappointing
  <bytraper> i just got some imaginary sex, and it was fucking
  nice
  * Lord-Data thinks byt and xta just imaginarily slept together


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486825
text:
  <Trin[awah]> I was dyeing easter eggs, and I said, "my eggs
  came out all ugly!"
  <Trin[awah]> and my brother said to me, "well, now you know
  how your mother feels."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911718
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486873
text:
  <GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
  <GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486929
text:
  <@Lujan> yet because more and more ppl are getting bigger tvs,
  and more computers, air con etc
  <@Lujan> last house I was in was so old it had 10amps for the
  whole fucking house
  <@Lujan> put some toast in the toaster and the computer
  rebooted
  <Durus> hahahaha lujan.  that's some funny shit
  <@Lujan> Durus: no its not. I am the only person on the planet
  who had to run his toaster of his UPS


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.486977
text:
  <MickJ> FACT: FAKE TITS ARE A SIGN OF HORRIBLE SELF ESTEEM
  <Turnspike> Wouldn't it be cool if they had implants with
  goldfish in them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911719
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487088
text:
  <freestyle> whats rhe best site 4 soccer transfers???
  <|-|00PsTa> www.metco.com
  <freestyle> metco?
  <|-|00PsTa> freestyle: movements euro transfers co operation
  <freestyle> thanks!
  <freestyle> DR. BROSS PROFESSIONAL COMPLETE
  <freestyle> PENIS ENLARGEMENT SYSTEM
  <freestyle> FUCK YOU U GAY FREAK!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487135
text:
  <Pad-lock> Hey Shithead! You want a fuckin fight?!?! If so
  come to #teens4christ That is.. if your not a fuckin PUSSY!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487200
text:
  <Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't
  let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was
  GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to
  possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I
  figured that vampires don't have anuses.
  <Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
  <Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate
  driver.
  <Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
  <Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911720
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487248
text:
  <+DangerMan> I liked cold weather a lot better when I was fat
  <bmwii> ya, an extra 30 pounds helps through the winter =)
  <+ZombiEater> ..or a jacket


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487297
text:
  * Morpheus agrees with tark, but I also prefer nude wet legal
  aged girls =P
  <Tarkuss> hey...legal age is 12 in some countries...
  <Morpheus> 8 in tiwan
  <Tarkuss> Morpheus: EIGHT!?
  * Morpheus nods as he watches tark go to get a passport


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487350
text:
  <Gamblor> are you trying to play NES games on an SNES
  emulator?
  <Gamblor> or perhaps on notepad.exe?
  <RomminAvatar> listen gamblor. SHUT UP!
  <RomminAvatar> YOU AREN'T HELPFUL!
  <RomminAvatar> AH FUXOR! I WAS USING A SNES!! WORD OF THIS
  DOES NOT GET OUT!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487412
text:
  <ErrectoR> hey anyone know where I can download all the old
  simpsons episodes?
  <mavhc> ftp.amazon.com
  <phanty> ftp.fox.com is faster
  <ErrectoR> I don't think those two ftp's are working..
  <ErrectoR> what's the l/p?
  <QueenB> moron/total
  <ErrectoR> nope..still not working queenb
  <ErrectoR> you fucking assholes..
  * ErrectoR has left #futuramavcd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911721
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487464
text:
  <Ted> I'd like something to open the damn door automatically.
  <bernard> A negro?
  <Ted> That would take up too much room in the undersized
  bathroom here.
  <bernard> Gary Coleman?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911724
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487602
text:
  <Error_404> i swear to god... the next time my mom approaches
  me about my drinking, i'm gonna fucking come out of the
  closet...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487650
text:
  <DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action
  figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487702
text:
  <Timexy> because of some fools, we are seeing what to do
  <Timexy> only for cause that we are Brazilian we are
  indiscriminate --'
  <Timexy> why they don't make flood in the #services for
  exemple


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487754
text:
  <Gnetic> I searched for need for speed and I got this ===JJJJ=
  =D~~~....what do i do with that???
  <Gnetic> is that like a binary code or something ??
  <Resi0> its a cock
  <Resi0> jesus man, i wouldnt wanna be you when ure in the bath
  if you cant see that...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911725
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487800
text:
  <Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on
  microsoft.com
  <Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911726
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487844
text:
  <@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system?
  did my two spam senders mix their titles?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.487991
text:
  <Elly_May> she works where the men come and pay money for
  sex...
  <Elly_May> what do you call it again...
  <DrNick668> hahahah
  <qrg> hahahha
  <DrNick668> thailand


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488039
text:
  * ApoIIyon is now in the look for perl camel shirts
  <top_dawg> thinkgeek!
  <ApoIIyon> thinkgeek == think$$


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488093
text:
  <rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
  <rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is
  like fucking for virginity?"
  <rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better
  way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911727
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488142
text:
  <scrapFx> I want to live in 3000 where I'm fed through tubes
  and never have to take a dump again
  <scrapFx> make that 2999 so I could throw a mad partai


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488189
text:
  <MrBump> my irc logs kept me going throughout my 6 months
  offline
  <Lord_Blix> you need to get out more often.
  <MrBump> i did, i took printouts


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488243
text:
  <BiMP> i got a complete computer part list to buy
  <BiMP> oh what fun
  <Einsteini> what will be even better is recieving all the
  parts, just like xmas :D
  <BiMP> yeah
  <BiMP> and they better not be in peices
  <BiMP> *glares at santa*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911728
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488347
text:
  <Hiko> "all the people in #bemani are child molesters"
  <nitrifik_> I'm not.
  <mightyflo> not according to swedish law, anyway
  <nitrifik_> exactly.
  <nitrifik_> I have never sexed anyone below 15, so I'm all
  legal.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488401
text:
  <Hostility> so let me get this
  <Hostility> ur in a room with ur comp
  <Hostility> typing on a keyboard... not with ur fingers
  <Hostility> but with ur face
  <Hostility> with nothing on but a hat?
  <ZahanTheThief[B-A]> y6esw


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911729
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488442
text:
  A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit
  someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch
  out olsen twins!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488532
text:
  cwelks: I found out that if you are out of dishwashing
  detergent, that you shouldnt replace it in the dishwasher with
  Tide.
  cwelks: Bubbles all over the kitchen
  jmmoxey: HAHAHAHA
  cwelks: Not my brightest moment


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488630
text:
  < leah> you don't win against people like SoundFriend by
  debating with the individual person. you win by getting
  elected and educating children so that we get less people like
  SoundFriend
  < SoundFriend> Fewer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911730
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488677
text:
  tilt: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY TO HAR
  jolt: I DONT KNOW I WROTE A POEM BUT I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD
  USE IT!!!!@! IT GOES " IM GLAD WE DIDNT EAT AT LUBY'S! CAN I
  PLEASE TOUCH YOU BOOBIES?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488734
text:
  <Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
  <wild-> Lepper_: that was me
  <wild-> u heat it in the microwave
  <SYch0> wtf


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488792
text:
  <CrazyDe> did I tell u what I got this girl for christmas?
  <CrazyDe> I got her lingerie in 1 box
  <CrazyDe> and I put before
  <CrazyDe> and in another box
  <CrazyDe> I put pajamas in there
  <CrazyDe> and put after


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911731
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488844
text:
  <paranoid/> i just realized that my dads a hardcore redneck
  <stonedgamer> how so
  <paranoid/> he came out of the shower and i saw a tatoo on his
  ass that said "exit only"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911732
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.488977
text:
  Omniscient Sean: I think we should terrorist start throwing in
  nuclear weapon noteworthy national security keywords to Allah
  otherwise innocuous conversations.
  InfiniteSuperior: I Bin Laden agree.
  Omniscient Sean: So how are Al Qaeda classes?
  InfiniteSuperior: I have Al Sadr a psychology report Iran due
  Wednesday.
  Omniscient Sean: Ah, that Tehran sucks.
  Omniscient Sean: This bizarre Sadaam open-source database
  utility has all the Palestine trappings of other open-source
  utilities.
  Omniscient Sean: In this WMD case, useless error messages.
  InfiniteSuperior: Other than Pakistan that, classes are Libby
  going well.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489099
text:
  <Tetsuo> I've given up doubting the search phrases you say
  people find your site by. You can't possibly make stuff that
  stupid up.
  <CommanderStab> Oh yeh?! Check this joke out for size!
  <Tetsuo> Oh Lord, what have I done now? ^_-
  <CommanderStab> "What's the difference between a tax cheat and
  a corpse?"
  <CommanderStab> "One's a Fed Ducker, and the other's a..."
  <CommanderStab> ...Shit, I forgot how it ends.....
  <Tetsuo> I take it all back.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489147
text:
  <#hack/t0c> [gothgrrl(obsessive@dynip06.efn.org)] im not
  coming.
  <#hack/t0c> damn
  <#hack/t0c> i have lame netsex skillz


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911733
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489191
text:
  (_ph): im hungry
  (kingy`r): eat a dick :P
  (_ph): im a little hungrier than that
  (sole): eat two dicks then
  (_ph): we're talking at least 5 here


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489302
text:
  <Quizical[GSF]> I am considering changing all the voice files
  in Half Life to wavs of women orgasming
  <TheMaestro> hehe
  <Doc|KillinReds> HAHAHAHA
  <Quizical[GSF]> I'd never stop using the scientists
  <TheMaestro> hahahah
  <Doc|KillinReds> Hell the first 15 minute of the game would be
  crazy
  <TheMaestro> ALRIGHT, I GOT THE SHOTGUN!  DIE HEADCRAB!  OHH,
  UHH, OHHH OH OH OHHHHHHHHHH
  <Quizical[GSF]> "We might stand a better chance if we OHHH!
  OOHH GOD!  OOHH GOD YES!"
  <Spankz> It'd be pretty damn hilarous, considering the lip
  synching software would cause moments when the scientits would
  just open up like goatse.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489350
text:
  <Match> you shouldve seen the confused look on her face
  <Match> it's like we dropped her in the middle of china and
  asked her to find a mr. chang


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911734
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489445
text:
  <xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
  <Cloud9> Jesus, what?
  <xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
  <Cloud9> You sick fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489504
text:
  <Cody> Sign #2 for me to worry about filling out my selective
  Service Agreement: The City that they mailed from is called
  "Palpatine"
  <Cody> General> If only you knew the power!
  <Cody> Me> I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU!
  <Huntress> LOL
  <Cody> General> So be it.... traitor... *Zaps Cody with Tazer*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489596
text:
  <MARSHALL> CAN YOU SPEAK IN BM
  <Nikari> wtf is bm?
  <MARSHALL> BM MEANS BAHASA MALAYSIA
  <Nikari> Does everyone yell in Malasyia?
  <MARSHALL> ARE YOU GIRL OR MAN
  <Nikari> a very girly man. you?
  <MARSHALL> YOU FIRST
  <Nikari> ... that would make you a girl, then
  <MARSHALL> I AM MAN
  <Nikari> HEAR ME ROAR
  <MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MENAS
  <Nikari> It's an american joke. Do you have jokes in malaysia?
  <MARSHALL> YES.IN MALAYSIA HAVE MANY JOKE.
  <MARSHALL> ARE YOU WANT CAME TO MALAYSIA
  <Nikari> Are you offering hot malaysian sex?
  <MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MEANS
  <Nikari> Well, when a man and woman love each other very much,
  he sticks his woo woo into her waa waa. And in very special
  circumstances, if two men love each other very much, he will
  stick his woo woo into the other guy's uh oh.
  <MARSHALL> I CANOT LOVE NOW.I STILL STUDY
  <Nikari> They're always time for love!
  <MARSHALL> ARE YOU STILL STUDY?
  <Nikari> When I'm not love.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911735
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489705
text:
  <juhl> LinuxWolf: I don't mind users being clueless *as such*,
  what I mind is when they try to do something "clever" on my
  network and disrupt service for everyone else and I have to
  clean up the mess!
  <LinuxWolf> juhl:  *nod*
  <juhl> LinuxWolf: if you don't know what you are doing you
  should ask the admin *before* you try doing it!!!
  <juhl> *that* would prevent a LOT of problems
  <RichiH> juhl: why not just nail a towel and a bottle of water
  to your front door
  <juhl> RichiH: what would that accomplish ?
  <RichiH> as soon as you whip the first imbecible to death with
  your wet towel, word will spread around the ranks of morons
  <juhl> RichiH: heh - I'll have to try that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489813
text:
  <ToddBored> FF11 is gonna suck, its gonna be MMORPG but on PS2
  <ToddBored> will kill the whole fantasy part of the series,
  cuz there will be idiots in it
  <ToddBored> naming themselves kewldude, and kingpimpmaster
  <ToddBored> i dunno why they did it...
  <ToddBored> im serious dude
  <ToddBored> its not gonna have a story line to get into
  <ToddBored> cuz all youre gonna hear is Lololo!!L!11 j000 got
  owned
  <ToddBored> i roxx at FF11


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911736
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489872
text:
  <z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the
  fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if
  it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged,
  you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and
  it would make you pass out upon erection :P
  <z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a
  3m dong
  <z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
  <Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
  <z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489926
text:
  <Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and
  if i move the mouse around he chases after it
  <spitfire> haha mendo
  <spitfire> take a screen shot
  <spitfire> wait
  <spitfire> that made no sense


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.489976
text:
  <mike> i'm not afraid of heights.. i could look up at them all
  day
  <mike> it's depths that get to me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911737
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490093
text:
  <Greystripe> one day, i'm gonna own my own company
  <Greystripe> and it's gonna get big
  <Greystripe> and i'll be like bill gates, but less of an arse
  <Greystripe> and i'll be all rich and famous
  <Greystripe> but i'll still come in here
  <Greystripe> and i'll be like "hey guys, did you see me on the
  news?"
  <Greystripe> because, let's face it, i'm never gonna have a
  social life


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490140
text:
  [RainWind] what's the point of a big pipe if you can't get any
  uptime?
  [RainWind] that appliest to both sex and downloads mind you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490246
text:
  <slinky> i ordered a pizza
  <slinky> the pizza guy came and brought the pizza, he said:
  "there was no address, but i figured it was for you"
  <slinky> maybe i order too regularly or something
  <thokky> slinky heh
  <_mrT> slinky i ordered pizza on the weekend
  <thokky> sounds a bit like mrT
  <_mrT> and pizza service boss himself dleivered it
  <_mrT> and started smalltalk..
  <_mrT> "you havent ordered in quite some time.."
  <_mrT> me: "i was on holidays"
  <_mrT> "oh where did you go to?"
  <_mrT> etc for 5mins
  <_mrT> i was like WTF heh
  <thokky> _mrT you are the one what makes their business
  profitable
  <thokky> heh
  <slinky> good customer relations :)
  <_mrT> hehe
  <slinky> it's probably a cover for mafia to wash money
  <thokky> "hey i heard mrT moved into city, theres market for
  pizza delivery place"
  <slinky> so now you're friends with the Family :)
  <thokky> yeah
  <thokky> and they start to call you Nicky Foureye
  <slinky> i think i definitely should not eat so much pizza
  <thokky> or Fat-Tony
  <slinky> haha
  <slinky> Squeaky-Vinnie
  <thokky> hehe yea


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911738
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490296
text:
  <Arydrall> A printout....'Taoist Taichi Style-Missionary
  Position' on a printout with Kama Sutra stuff...
  <Arydrall> WTF IS MY MOM LOOKING UP :O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490440
text:
  <peerce> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I
  know, Ill use regular expressions." Now they have two
  problems.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911739
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490505
text:
  <vidkid7> he told us about some kid who turned in a render of
  a hunting knife for his project
  <vidkid7> and when he asked to see the wireframe "you sure?"
  <vidkid7> "yeah, I need to see it"
  <vidkid7> "...ok"
  <vidkid7> and he turned it to wireframe
  <vidkid7> and had written "I'LL KILL YOU" over and over and
  over like a thousand times behind the image
  <vidkid7> @_@


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490555
text:
  * CM[rebirth] annihilates SumDumGoy with a high energy carbon
  plasma sphere. (Think DragonballZ "fireballs").
  * !SumDumGoy pokes CM.
  <SumDumGoy> I win.
  <CM[rebirth]> Damn! :O


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911740
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490607
text:
  <Kallahar> use telnet
  <Nygis> i cant find the answer in telnet
  <Kallahar> well, try harder.  maybe you aren't pushing the
  keys in all the way.
  <Nygis> but im pushin as hard as i can


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490704
text:
  <+MrKite> ah, no more obvious sign of intense boredom than
  taking a bendy figure of Mickey Mouse and making it look like
  he's pointing at his crotch


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490796
text:
  * cachinnate throws up hands
  <cachinnate> wait i meant i was throwing my hands into the
  air, not barfing hands that i ate


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911741
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490847
text:
  <+k\o\w> for some reason, ever since I was a young kid I
  wanted to hatch an egg
  <+k\o\w> I would steal them from the fridge
  <+k\o\w> and put them under my ass for hours
  <+k\o\w> but they never hatched
  <+k\o\w> and I would cry


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490939
text:
  JerrysCatTom: whenever i get out of the shower i have a habit
  of writing... well... drawing things in the mirror for the
  next person to see.... dinosaurs, ghosts, monsters, you know
  the usual... but this time, i went to the bathroom, and my mom
  had just taken a shower... so i look at the fogged up window,
  and write "look down" with arrows pointing downwards. we have
  the curtins covering the lower half of the window, so after
  you pull them aside you see another ghost with sharp teeth
  saying, "BOO!!"... god my parents are gonna think i smoke
  pot... :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911742
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.490987
text:
  <naner> at my school, some fat chick wore a thong and baggy
  pants.. :( she started walking towards me and he pants fell
  like below her crotch, I could see her hairy bush, it made me
  cry
  <sQu33ze> did she think you were a porkchop


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491035
text:
  <Kris> I tried to use an ouija board as a mouse-pad once, but
  my stupid <censored>ing mouse kept opening diablo2 when I
  wasn't watching


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491095
text:
  SergioThree: there's other fish in the sea, man, she's just a
  girl
  Beatsfromkorea: no dude, that's bullshit.
  Beatsfromkorea: Think of it this way. if your precious copy of
  street fighter third strike broke and i told you "it's ok man,
  there's other games in the sea. here, play mortal kombat
  instead" what would you say? you'd be like, "fuck that, gimme
  third strike."
  SergioThree: ...
  SergioThree: you just reached me on a level that i never
  thought possible


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911743
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491215
text:
  <Ghand|ForceMonkeys> You know what I saw today that was really
  sad?
  <Ghand|ForceMonkeys> We got these quizzes back in US History.
  They were on some civil war stuff...
  <Ghand|ForceMonkeys> One of the questions was "What was
  Lincoln's original reason for fighting the civil war?"
  <Ghand|ForceMonkeys> This girl behind me had written "To
  defeat the north."
  <Ghand|ForceMonkeys> It made my head hurt.
  <Yardbomb> Ghand....Those kind of people are fake
  <Yardbomb> they must be robots, because there is no fucking
  way a real person can really be that stupid
  * Raxc raises his hand.
  <CoMpUdOc> He's got a point there, Yardbomb.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491312
text:
  Allan: incidentally, my house is Zombie resistant.
  Crysm: how so?
  Allan: I wonder why that is
  Allan: elevated first floor, strong steel doors.
  Allan: the windows are out of reach, basically.
  Crysm: it's next to a graveyard, man
  Crysm: the planners had to think ahead
  Allan: good point
  Allan: ...dear god, I gave my house a zombie proofing
  assessment.
  Allan: That's... a whole new level of something.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911744
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491404
text:
  ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
  ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
  ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
  ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a
  steam roller.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491445
text:
  Swift: top ten things I have to do before I die
  Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye
  X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491500
text:
  <Jess> can anyone even see what I am writing?
  <GoddessAmadeo|TheImpaler> no ...
  <Jess> OK
  <Mike> no jess, you gotta do it different
  <Jess> how can I then
  <Jess> ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911745
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491547
text:
  <D3adlode> I was a mistake you jackass
  <Quasar> We all got birth certificates, d3 got an apology
  letter from durex


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491605
text:
  DinjackPD: so I'm studying for my history final
  DinjackPD: And there's this old WW2 propaganda poster
  DinjackPD: Of this guy driving along alone with an outline of
  hitler next to him
  DinjackPD: And the title is
  DinjackPD: 'WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH HITLER!'
  DinjackPD: isn't that contradicting?
  Jahman98: hahahahah
  Jahman98: yeah
  Jahman98: that's great stuff
  DinjackPD: 'When you ride alone, you ride ALONE, however you
  do use up valuable gas that is intended for the war effort and
  thus make it easier for the Nazis to win. You Jew hating
  BASTARD.'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491657
text:
  quiet >> What's faster than a speeding bullet?
  eskaypey >> chuck norris
  quiet >> a Jew with a coupon.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491713
text:
  <GreyMantledWolf> the internet guy is out side trying to shut
  off the internet to my neighbor's apt
  <GreyMantledWolf> and they'res a hornets nest in the box
  <GreyMantledWolf> they're stinging him like mad
  <GreyMantledWolf> i should stop putting flowers and nectar in
  that box


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911746
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491766
text:
  <Perforatorzzz> my grandma was going thru my room today for
  some ungodly reason and found some of my gf's clothes she
  "accidently" left here.
  <Perforatorzzz> i'm all, "i like to wear black panties,
  DAMNIT"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491868
text:
  <DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to
  celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
  <DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the
  sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
  <DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to
  my face so i freaked and got out
  <DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've
  chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
  <DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
  <Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was
  staying with you?
  <DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
  <DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking
  right now
  <DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
  <DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be
  worrying about this
  <Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried,
  you'll be in deep shit.
  quit: (DeadMansHand)
  <Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going
  to be worrying about this shit all day
  <Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
  join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
  <PeteRepeat> fucking ken
  <PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last
  night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be
  an idiot
  <quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought
  he was with you.
  <PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
  <PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that
  im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to
  think i care or anything.
  quit: (PeteRepeat)
  <Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise
  when they meet at the beach.
  <Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491917
text:
  <McMoo> An infinite number of monkeys, on an infinite number
  of typewriters, will eventually produce the collected works of
  Shakespeare. John Romero's Daikatana was a ten-minute,
  five-monkey job.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911747
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.491967
text:
  <+l4mby> HOLY COW !
  <+l4mby> there's a cockatoo on here selling for 12,000$
  <@Phoenix> Must be good in bed or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911748
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492064
text:
  <fo0bar> I once has a (poor attempt) at a pr0n site, and was
  working with iBill on a support issue, and this young woman on
  the other end asks for what the site is so she can test it and
  I say "uhh, www.pussy4less.com" -- didn't even phase her


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911749
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492128
text:
  <Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's
  laptop, won't display animated .gifs ?
  <Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options
  <Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings
  <Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it.
  <Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see.
  <Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have
  to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a
  Steaming Pile of Shit"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492230
text:
  <Buck> the MPAA site has an interesting anti piracy blitz
  going on for Christmas
  <Buck> they say that they're protecting users from buying
  pirated copies of films
  <Buck> then they go on to say that you can recognize pirated
  films by the fact that they're a lot cheaper, out before or
  while films are still in theatres, are region free and contain
  no DRM
  <Buck> if I wouldn't have pirated before.. the MPAA sure has
  convinced me to do it now


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492285
text:
  <Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded
  man to death.
  <Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
  <Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill
  retards (/sarcasm)
  <Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911750
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492361
text:
  <vic> 128kbps is good for music, but for a shower
  <vic> it's way more than you need
  <Jewass> no way
  <Jewass> i need to feel my cleanest
  <Jewass> and we have lo-flo shower heads at my house
  <Nosnam> Its not a lo-flo shower head. It's a low bandwidth
  shower head.
  <Kurt> golden showers
  <Nosnam> golden showers would be AOL
  <Nosnam> A dialup shower head is one where you have to stand
  there for 10 minutes before the water starts coming out
  <Nosnam> I use a cisco router with my shower. It's load
  distribution sprays my entire body at once
  <Nosnam> I forgot to enable WEP encryption on my 802.11G
  shower... I was showering, and my neighbor joined me
  <Chamuyo> I remember back in my time when you had to order
  your water and it got delivered in paper envelopes with stamps
  glued on them
  <vic> that's taking it to far
  <vic> gtfo


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492463
text:
  <DTOX> my wife says the white trash have already come up with
  a new name for Osama
  <DTOX> "Osama Bin Hidin"
  <DTOX> that's really sticking it to him
  <refugee> man, that must have took all their brain power
  <DTOX> cases upon cases of RC Cola were drank


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492508
text:
  <Snowman>: if you had to describe me in 50 words or less, what
  would you say?
  (i)alex: 50 words or lesss...
  (i)alex: hmmm
  (i)alex: is cock loving one word or two?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911751
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492572
text:
  <BombScare> RAM Usage: 349/503MB (69.38%)
  <snag> :/
  <DSLDemon> snag usage: 512/512LBS (100%)
  <snag> that's 512more lbs of man than you
  <DSLDemon> i'm not sure what that means
  <DSLDemon> but ok
  <BombScare> heh
  <BombScare> dont try to understand snag


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911752
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492731
text:
  <gc> it would take approximatly 40 286's to equals the power
  of your average 1 GHz desktop
  <cabbage> um, where did you pull that crap from?
  <gc> do the math
  <cabbage> haha
  <ian> what math
  <_gene> well you know .. THE math ;)
  <jwzrd-> gc: are you adding clockspeed here ?
  <gc> no its the cache,


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492829
text:
  <circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut
  off a toe and re-attach it
  <McMoo> that's excellent
  <circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911753
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.492921
text:
  <equiraptor> Sheesh. A hardware review site has been blocked
  as pornography!
  <equiraptor> I guess our sysadmins really must be geeks...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493013
text:
  <HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf
  play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
  <HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911754
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493062
text:
  <nonplused> guys
  <nonplused> what starts up apache on reboot
  <quadra> hmm it sounds like a native american thing
  <quadra> so the answer must be Alcohol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493114
text:
  <skermajo> hi all! how do I make it so an ordinary user can
  shutdown, reboot etc ??
  <Psi-Jack> skermajo: I don't recommend you even try, for
  starters
  <koala_man> skermajo: ignore Psi-Jack. hey, could I get a
  shell? :p


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911755
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493258
text:
  <Jeeeeebus> wtf
  <Jeeeeebus> when I click the minimize button, it is minimizing
  my cursor to the other side of the screen
  <Yawgmoth> its a feature, not a bug.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493308
text:
  <AndrewB> Lonely..
  <Linguica> aww
  <AndrewB> Come to bed and snuggle with me.
  <AndrewB> Er, wrong window.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493355
text:
  <superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's
  going to burn a hole through my mouth


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911756
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493409
text:
  <Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new
  fap"
  <Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read
  it
  <Varitek> it was selling fake watches
  <Varitek> I was crushed


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493464
text:
  <bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce
  <bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce"
  <kcl822> heh
  <bfdd> and then i realized
  <bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical
  <bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493510
text:
  <mrduck> there was a guy at my school who got caught
  mastttturbating and when he ran for school president his
  slogan was "i have a hand on the situation"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493554
text:
  <pms> If you spot a minority in your gated community who is
  not holding a leafblower or other lawn-care device, call your
  local police immediately.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911757
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493614
text:
  <pthree_> oh, my stupid t1 is having issues
  * RichiH asks himself if having a private T1 is the heigth of
  geekdomn, or if it is the ultimate of saying "i got no rl
  friends"
  <Seker> RichiH: It'll be the height of geekdom if you max it
  out with warez.
  <RichiH> Seker: if you max it out with warez, it's a way of
  saying "i am 13, have no friends, use windows and need a good
  poke in the eyes. besides, i got no firends, neither rl nor
  vr"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911758
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493666
text:
  * GM_Axis swings around a drop kicks Ras
  * Ras backflips
  * HairLeMair looks ambient
  * GM_Axis strikes fighting pose
  <GM_Axis> FIGHT!
  <Ras> you cant win
  <Ras> because I...
  * ChanServ sets mode: +o Ras
  <GM_Axis> DAAAAAMN!
  <Ras> Am the one
  * Ras flies away, doing his superman thing


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493800
text:
  <Loonacy> Apple dumped the geek/hobbyist market to go after
  the highly profitable moron/trendy market.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493849
text:
  <Jay> the only annoying thing about Perl is there's always at
  least 10 ways to do the same thing =)
  <Ashley> and half of those make absolutely no sense when you
  come back to the code 30 minutes later


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493905
text:
  sugarat: how to tell if you're a nerd - subtract the number of
  boyfriends/girlfriends from the number of computers you've
  owned.  if you're left with a positive number, you're a nerd.
  LordWork: lol
  ltcolumbo: I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek
  SPLURGE: whew
  SPLURGE: im not a nerd
  SPLURGE: you know
  SPLURGE: i really am a nerd
  SPLURGE: that test sucks
  SPLURGE: i wonder if hookers count
  ltcolumbo: can i just call you a "john"?
  SPLURGE: i suppose you could
  SPLURGE: but the girls i have sex with are too ugly to be paid
  for it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911759
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.493957
text:
  <drano> i need to go to sleep soon, i was late for school this
  morning
  <Wyatt> being late rules.
  <furandfx> periods
  <furandfx> the only place being late does not rule


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494012
text:
  <wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
  <immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
  <immi> ?
  <wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6
  months
  <wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on
  your balls immi


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494113
text:
  <Spiff> I was wondering why Jews didn't celebrate Christmas
  the other night
  <Spiff> and the answer I came up with was that it was like
  John Wilkes Booth celebrating Lincoln's birthday
  <Spiff> It's just not right celebrating the birthday of the
  guy you killed.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911760
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494159
text:
  * auslandr pokes lint in the eye
  <EigenLint> no poking.
  * auslandr stabs lint in the eye
  <auslandr> better?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494211
text:
  <joshwil> CREED frontman Scott Stapp was reportedly "high out
  of his mind and could not sing" at the band's Chicago show at
  Allstate arena Sunday night (Dec. 29), nearly falling down
  numerous times during the performance.
  <Deathlove> Jac, God told him to get wrecked.
  <CactusJac> He drank too deeply from the blood of Christ I
  guess.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494266
text:
  * @mootlif3 * [Marilyn Manson - This Is The New Shit] [3205]
  [4:18/5.91MB/192Kbit]
  <khaos> hm
  <khaos> new manson?
  <@mootlif3> yeh
  <%jdp> LOL dumbass
  <%jdp> you couldnt notice that from the song title?
  <@mootlif3> lol
  <khaos> fu lemar


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494352
text:
  <angie> yea, finally finished moving all my stuff in today.
  <guyen> can't be that bad, she's pretty hot.  i could tap dat
  azz all day
  <guyen> godamn i need a picture of her so i can at least jerk
  off to it
  <angie> isn't she in your class, just stare at her with your
  photographic memory.
  <guyen> believe me i do, she's got an azzzzzzz
  <angie> she's also right behind me.
  <guyen> are you serious?
  <angie> yea.  she says you're pretty cute too.  says you
  should have the balls to ask her out though.
  <guyen> um, will you go out with me?
  <angie> she says yes.  pick her up tomm 7:30 after her evening
  class, she wants to see kate and leopold or whatever.
  <guyen> are you kidding me?  holy shit!  im calling your house
  now
  <angie> no i'm just fucking with you.
  <guyen> your're a bitch you know that
  <angie> i know.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911761
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494400
text:
  <blazemore> where did you find this, sych0
  <blazemore> did you just type in "crap" and download whatever
  came up?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494449
text:
  < tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality
  time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
  < ninjamike> and you're on IRC


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911762
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494502
text:
  <jbskittlez> dude should i sell myself on ebay
  <jbskittlez> sell my virginity on ebay?
  <jbskittlez> how much money could i make from that
  <lieb39> with or without a pic?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494601
text:
  <HrdwrBoB> alchohol
  <HrdwrBoB> is
  <HrdwrBoB> teh drink of teh godz
  <Fryboy>   er
  <Fryboy>   thought that was necter
  <HrdwrBoB> nah
  <HrdwrBoB> nectar is for fags


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494659
text:
  <prence> oh
  <prence> my
  <prence> god
  <prence> i just hit the print button
  <prence> instead of save
  <prence> on some porn
  <prence> and its printing out on my moms printer
  <prence> and im upstairs
  <prence> and cant do anything about it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494704
text:
  <Aiee> That statement is either so deep it would take a
  lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or
  it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911763
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494763
text:
  <blake> they used to play this game called pheonix
  *** Satan-\\\ has joined #doctors
  <blake> where they dress up like orcs and shit
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +v Satan-\\\
  <stx-tyler> these people at college last yr always played
  magic....they were like total fags
  *** Murder|away| is now known as LoD|MurdeR
  <blake> and run around in the woods
  <stx-tyler> i think they were seriouslly homo :/
  <blake> and hit each other with styrofoam swords
  *** [WS]n00b is now known as [WS]Arutha-Drinking
  <stx-tyler> AND THROW BALLS AND YELL "LIGHTNING BOLT"
  <^TV^SinSemilla> lol


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494825
text:
  <Rico> I suppose. I wouldn't mind being that guy that makes it
  with all the Scouts.
  <DigiGnome> Except you'd be ridiculously tired at the end of
  it, and if you don't please them you get CRESCENT BEEEEEAM'ed.
  <Rico> Yeah, but what a way to go...
  <Kayma> Uh oh, attacked with pink sugar hearts, blarg im dead.
  <DigiGnome> You know exactly where they'd hang the wreath,
  too.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494882
text:
  (@sml) jesus
  (@sml) Bizarre & Weird Porn Links < PenisBot... Fetish Bloody
  pussy pics of teens changing menstrual tampons & pads, +
  tampon eating. A Sex With a Twist Interesting and unusual porn
  - midgets, twins, latex ...
  (@sml) anytime you think something's too weird to be on the
  intarweb
  (@sml) it is there
  (@sml) and pushing >> 85mbit of movie bandwidth, fo sho
  (@sml) ugh
  (@sml) that's fuckin gross, even for me
  (@mamba_X) tampon eating urk
  (@mamba_X) way to get your iron i guess
  (Blaxthos) only someone who has gone down on his girlfriend
  after pucking her cherry the night before would think of that
  (@Sabboth) or someone who has earned their red wings
  (@pachell) that's some fucking filthy shit
  (@pachell) i'll fuck a bitch on the rag, but that's about it
  (Blaxthos) it was an accident
  (Blaxthos) or call it lack of forethought


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911764
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.494942
text:
  <Eric> I feel bad when handshaking with PuTTY. It supports so
  many features. "I can tell you what sort of client I am, would
  you like to know?" "Nope." "Well, in that case, let me just
  tell you my screen dimensions." "No thanks." "Do you... uh...
  want to support environment variables? I got some variables."
  "... no." "Well, I guess it's echo off and raw mode, then."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495039
text:
  <Camo> tress, how do I make a program that makes the cd spin
  really fast and  does't stop and if you open the cdrom drive,
  the cd flies out and cuts your  throat?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495089
text:
  <ikkenai> What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?
  Slow down and use a lubricant.
  <TheFlux> not an oil based one
  <TheFlux> it may catch fire


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911765
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495146
text:
  <Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one
  inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off
  your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
  <BlakHawc> A simple one:  be run over, feet first, by a very
  slow-moving steamroller.
  <Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a
  compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes
  pop out?
  <BlakHawc> Jarp:  Well, only if you're a toon.  Otherwise,
  you're pretty much fucked.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911766
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495244
text:
  <illz> i eat pieces of shit lik eyou for breakfast
  <endfro> you eat pieces of shit for breakfast
  <jstepka-w> yuk


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495337
text:
  <[-will-]> damnit
  <[-will-]> I cant find my video card
  <Excors> Overclock it, then look for the source of the smoke


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495429
text:
  <nilumtil> HOPE U GOT 2 IPS
  <BilliamForty> i have twenty anyone want one?
  <cln> BilliamForty, YES
  <cln> i have no idea what i'd do with it though.
  <BilliamForty> ok you can have 250.912.666.56454.258.4145.541
  <BilliamForty> and if anyone says thats not an ip they can
  meet me out back
  <cln> that isn't an ip.
  <BilliamForty> meet me out back
  <cln> will do
  *** cln invites you to join #out.back


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911767
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495476
text:
  <cheesewad> I want to take nunchuck lessons so when I go to
  jail I can bust out with the soap on a roap and beat up all
  those ass fuckers.
  <Allen4> What are you going to jail for?
  <cheesewad> stealing soap on a rope.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495583
text:
  <Object> shutting down your computer is like putting your dog
  in a cage
  <Object> you just don't do that


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495647
text:
  <Maltagal> hi
  <Ace> sup
  <Maltagal> r u over 40
  <Ace> haha no
  <Maltagal> well i was going to see what u r like b/c my mum is
  single


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911768
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495715
text:
  < winter_the_mute> i am both of those things
  < winter_the_mute> sadly i am also a programmer so
  < winter_the_mute> fit and pretty only gets you so far when
  you're autistic
  <@    Riztazz> | there is a 3rd option to it
  <@    Riztazz> | sadly only a handful of men can achieve that
  <@    Riztazz> | and its not something you can do anything
  about
  <@    Riztazz> | well
  <@    Riztazz> | nowdays u can
  <@    Riztazz> | get a big dick
  < winter_the_mute> im black so i got that too
  < winter_the_mute> but last time i whipped my dick out to a
  woman, she moved seats on the bus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495765
text:
  <rone> please speak in whole sentences.  thanks.
  <rone> because this
  <rone> is fucking annoying
  <rone> to read.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495862
text:
  <mappyman> i sent off for a PAL videotape of Captain Jack
  <mappyman> still in backorder
  <Hiko> heh
  <Hiko> how you gonna play a PAL tape?
  <mightyflo> just crack it
  <mightyflo> www.vhscopyworld.com


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911769
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495907
text:
  MWellsSQaReD: Actually, I'm gonna go eat lunch, later gays.
  MWellsSQaReD has left the room.
  Sancilio Rules: mike wells just called us gay
  Sancilio Rules: how should we feel?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.495958
text:
  <cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that
  "Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky
  Anal Rape"
  <Meat_PoPs> or vise versa


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496013
text:
  <tokenshi> does anyone seriously use realplayer anymore?
  <mef> yes
  <Freddie> I thought they died :o
  <RvLeshrac> They're doing extraordinarily well
  <tokenshi> i believe i still have an audio clip buffering from
  1999 in realplayer


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496063
text:
  <Haz> started my internship today
  <Haz> they banged a gong no less than six times first thing in
  the morning after a meeting
  <fwilson> yeah, that's part of agile


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911770
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496116
text:
  <[DeViL]WaRzO> chufty decode this plz
  <[DeViL]WaRzO> cerom: (11:22 PM) I know but talking with who
  speak's English as a motherlanguage.
  <[DeViL]Chufty> it means "add me to your ignore list"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496175
text:
  <mithrandi> In addition, U.S. citizens attempting to speak a
  foreign language are
  <mithrandi> urged to curb their Americanisms.
  <mithrandi> For example:
  <mithrandi> Correct  : Est-ce que vous l'avez aux autres
  couleurs?
  <mithrandi> Incorrect: Est-ce que vous, like, l'avez aux,
  like, autres couleurs?
  <mithrandi> ROFL!
  <Antish> is that supposed to be arabic


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911771
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496219
text:
  <sev> so I was walking through the city with a bunch of roses
  in one hand and a bag of potaotes in the other, and I had
  something like five people stop me and ask if I was going to
  propose to an irishman 8\


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496327
text:
  <CapnDan> Oh god DAMN it.  I listed twenty cardboard boxes on
  freecycle on Saturday morning. 15 minutes later a guy had come
  to get them. Two minutes after that I posted that they were
  gone.
  <CapnDan> I've gotten THREE DOZEN requests -- a dozen of them
  so far this morning -- for the god damned boxes.
  <CapnDan> I felt sorry for the guy - he needed the cardboard
  boxes to move his wife out.
  <ooPo> put her on freecycle


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496392
text:
  <Esk> Quit XP bashing! It's a better OS than you'll ever make!
  :D
  <evilbob> I doubt I could construct a gremlin, but I'm not
  about to start driving one.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911772
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496441
text:
  <Abracadav> thats a pretty ambiguous statement
  <timmo> i wish someone would ban you.
  * Abracadav was kicked by knucklz (ask and ye shall receive)
  * knucklz sets mode: +b *!*alk3@*.tpgi.com.au
  <timmo> hey look at that wishes do come true
  <timmo> and you dont even need cancer to make it happen


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496494
text:
  <outlaws> that's so gay
  <joyrekz> speaking of gay
  <joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see
  some lesbians, is that wrong of me?
  <outlaws> nope


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496544
text:
  <Lazy_Robot> Sometimes they dont label the gay porn gay on
  kazaa....
  <Lazy_Robot> I wonderd why the guys were fucking
  <Lazy_Robot> thought some ladies were coming....
  <Lazy_Robot> took awhile b4 I realised.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911773
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496591
text:
  <duk0r> Vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. Olive oil is
  made out of olives. So what the fuck is baby oil made out of?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911775
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496827
text:
  <Deim0s|Medic> I used to live down the road from a brothel
  <Deim0s|Medic> It was on TV
  <Maestro|Medic> kewl
  <Deim0s|Medic> ya
  <Deim0s|Medic> err
  <Deim0s|Medic> I never went in
  <Jabberwocky> and if you did, you went in for the articles.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496879
text:
  <foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true
  geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men
  convention. seeya later


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496944
text:
  <blazemore> 1) he has pants listed in the arcade machine
  section
  <blazemore> 2) why would you buy used clothes over the
  internet :/
  <Slant|SCC> Let alone "techno raver DJ" pants?
  <Steve-3> 9 bids so far
  <Steve-3> maybe i should start selling my old boxers on ebay
  <Steve-3> These boxers are in GREAT condition, with the
  exception of a spot where i let go a little early
  <Slant|SCC> But they're not any ordinary boxser.
  <Slant|SCC> They're "techno raver DJ" boxers!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911776
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.496990
text:
  * Zimbu finds Perl funny
  <Zimbu> It's the only programming language that forces you to
  use as many emoticons as possible


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497040
text:
  *** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
  <hurstdog> don't make me kill you
  <pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497098
text:
  <Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my
  brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
  <Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
  <Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497154
text:
  <babywafn> ew
  <babywafn> all they had was
  <babywafn> diet caffeine free pepsi twist
  <babywafn> which is basically pepsi's way of saying 'FUCK YOU'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911777
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497204
text:
  <Diggy> rgr
  <S5474> stfu
  <trinity> ?
  <Ne0N> IRC is a strange thing... thousands of users... yet
  less than 20 words said in a day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497245
text:
  (@timbaker) man
  (@timbaker) today
  (@timbaker) me and my fiencee got in a big ass fight
  (@timbaker) and almost ended things
  (@timbaker) but then we got back together and i takled her
  into letting me watch her shave her pussy


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497295
text:
  <Rapture> i need to hit someone
  <Rapture> a guy from work just came online
  <Rapture> can we smurf him


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911778
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497361
text:
  <Squinky> Where the hell is sumez.
  <Jim> Using an anonymous vagina, as are most Danish guys.
  <Squinky> Do they not have VD there or something?
  <Jim> They are VD.
  <Squinky> So it's really Danish guys ravaging my penis right
  now?
  <Jim> Most likely...Did you stick it into a Danish girl?
  <Squinky> I think I used a breakfast danish to masturbate the
  other day...
  <Jim> Pff, obviously that's what it is.
  <Jim> You're supposed to use AMERICAN pie.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497465
text:
  <snowdrake> no sooner do I upgrade my BIOS for >64GB support
  than, by all appearances, a kernel driver appears that
  supports the jumper option I disabled.
  <snowdrake> but BIOS native support is probably the better
  option.
  <MDK> It's a feature. "Annoying Updates"
  <MDK> In a 4098-bit encrypted folder in an invisible
  subdirectory.
  <MDK> I guessed the key by typing with two fingers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911779
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497515
text:
  * Dogstar was told tonight that if he wore slacks and a button
  up dress shirrt he'd look exactly like he worked at a software
  development company. Except he doesn't know a word of code.
  <Nimduin>  Wow, you're unattractive.  Congratulations.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911780
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497706
text:
  <synnur> i think the koreans are on pcp
  <synnur> they run at the end of games like it's the begining
  <synnur> unlike the chinese, they don't use msg
  <synnur> they use pcp
  <[LW]Scoundrel> wc3 is better than pcp


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497803
text:
  <+phunk> i have to send 8 photos of myself in
  <@fraggle> one for each angle
  <@fraggle> they're going to make you into a doom monster


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497852
text:
  <GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
  <GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big
  Dicks
  <GreenJelly> IM SO IN


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911781
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497895
text:
  (@{basara}): chu beyond the blackest chu,
  (@{basara}): Deeper then the deepest pika,
  (@{basara}): King of pikachu who shines like gold on the sea
  of electric
  (@{basara}): I call upon thee, swear myself to thee,
  (@{basara}): Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed by
  the power you and I possess...
  (@{basara}): PIKASLAVE!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.497950
text:
  <Keimu> guys
  <Keimu> come on lemme back in lol
  <Calendros> sorry
  <Calendros> You're still banned
  <Calendros> come back later
  * Keimu (Keimu@ZiRC-A4D4B0A.hsd1.il.comcast.net) has left #
  AY.Radio


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498000
text:
  <Daniel> Spongebob is a tampon.
  <Daniel> He's a sponge who lives in bikini bottom with Mr
  Crabs.
  <Nictheman> lmao


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911782
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498044
text:
  *** williard (~buttertop@sdn-ar-003njnbruP070.dialsprint.net)
  has joined #oscars
  <williard> this channel should win a award for being so lame


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498101
text:
  <LesVoix> i want to start the straight pride parade
  <fubar-42o> yah
  <fubar-42o> what kinda flag would we have
  <fubar-42o> since the gay ppl have a rainbow
  <fubar-42o> we should
  <fubar-42o> have 2 chicks doin it
  <LesVoix> LOL
  <fubar-42o> cuz thats what every straight guy wants to see


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498192
text:
  <Phobius> I fear nobody
  *** Phobius (anthony@phobius.support.gamesnet) Quit (G-lined
  (G-line requested by Jaden.))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911783
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498259
text:
  <Maggieamac> I pray for Osama Bin Laden everynight for him to
  give his life to Jesus
  <dendr1te> I think he's given his life to Allah.
  <Maggieamac> We'll see
  <Maggieamac> But I pray for him everynight before I go to
  sleep
  <Maggieamac> :)
  <dendr1te> Geez, I feel bad. I usually just masturbate before
  I go to sleep.
  <Maggieamac> It going to be ok
  <Maggieamac> Tonight I'll pray for you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498308
text:
  <foop> THE FUCKING US POSTAL SERVICE IS CALLING ME
  <foop> ASKING ME TO HELP THEIR FUCKIGN DERELICT OPERATION
  <Potrzebie> Tell them I said "Hi"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498359
text:
  <das_das> uhhh god..eww...argh....somehow my playlist just
  rolled around to creed
  <das_das> wtf do I even have creed on my comp :P
  <ApoIIyon> i have creed on mine
  <ApoIIyon> they..are..okay if u take away the whole.. WE FUCK
  JESUS every night part
  <das_das> dude creed is like eating a fine meal, vomiting,
  eating the vomit, and vomiting again


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911784
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498403
text:
  <Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when
  he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498458
text:
  < crschmidt> No software is bug free
  < FrankW> #/bin/sh
  < FrankW> echo "Hello World"
  < FrankW> That's pretty bug free.
  < crschmidt> FrankW: you missed a !


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911785
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498503
text:
  Cyber J: I've always known my parents hated me, after all...
  my first toys were a pair of scissors and running shoes...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498641
text:
  <friisi> but...you see...i wanna make a homepage, and a person
  told me that frontpage is a good beginner-program. Now...i am
  looking for a program i can make graphic with, fx. Microsoft
  Photoshop...but i dont wanna Microsoft Photoshop...i want
  another (free) program...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911786
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498738
text:
  <TunkeyMicket> who wants to go shower up and jerk each other
  off...its heterosexual if we all think about women
  <El_Cid> Tunkey u sick sicko sick of sickness.......I love it,
  when can we?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498833
text:
  (@BigTruck): 'magine havin' to go to the emergency room and
  fill out that little questionaire paper at the beginning
  "description of ailment"
  (@Phitz): hahahaha
  (@BigTruck): i got a nerf football stuck in my hootie
  *** Joins: hootie (blah@209.250.58.28)
  (@BigTruck): :o
  (@Phitz): wtf
  (@BigTruck): my mind just exploded
  (@Phitz): *nod*


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498885
text:
  <RanmaGuy> you know what would be a great logo for rice
  pudding
  <RanmaGuy> a tall black man with an asian hat working the rice
  fields
  <RanmaGuy> as a whiteman rides a horse carrying a whip
  <xv0wind0vx> that's so utterly racist even the KKK would be
  offended.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911787
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.498981
text:
  <Valker> You know
  <Valker> Aside from the wind fucking up my hair
  <Valker> Outside really isn't that bad.
  <Archer> You really don't have a life, do you?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499072
text:
  <+Fung-Ji> @find works?
  *** odin sets mode: +b *!*@pc-14.public.uwindsor.ca
  *** Fung-Ji was kicked by odin ("@find" is not allowed in this
  channel (24 hour ban))


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911788
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499179
text:
  <meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
  <DJ-Quack> well meeps?
  <meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to
  kill her so i shot his head off
  <DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
  <hpr> lol :P
  <meeps> hahaha
  <DJ-Quack> you asshole
  <DJ-Quack> ;[
  <LawnMM> did he respawn?
  <meeps> Yeah, next round


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499229
text:
  * Now talking in #Democrats
  <Gunman> is anybody here?
  <Gunman> hmm...everybody's an op, but nobodys doing
  anything...
  <Gunman> so im definately in the #democrats channel...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499294
text:
  <haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
  <haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
  <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
  <haz3l> really?
  <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
  <haz3l> Would that owrk?
  <LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
  <haz3l> :D
  <haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
  <haz3l> OMG THE BEEEEEPAGE
  <haz3l> MAKE IT STOPPP
  <haz3l> LGBR HELP


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911789
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499343
text:
  <[DeViL]PsYcHo> it'll be lonely this christmas, without you to
  hold
  <[DeViL]Chufty> psycho you getting circumsized for christmas?!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499454
text:
  <WorkLord> nasa uses both systems
  <WorkLord> on martian landers
  <WorkLord> hehe
  <Luigi30> That's why all our stuff explodes
  <Luigi30> Especially shuttles
  <Luigi30> and Mars landers
  <WorkLord> ITS OK EVERYONE
  <WorkLord> HES BACK TO STUPID
  <WorkLord> armageddon averted
  <Luigi30> in Soviet Union, shuttles explode YOU!
  * Luigi30 runs around farting
  <Luigi30> Yay! I'm stupid!
  * Luigi30 explodes leaving a jagged black mark on the ground
  and some smoke
  <Dave2> YAY!!!!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911790
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499506
text:
  <FaNtAcIgYrL> ello
  <jeff> Do you realise that you have spelt both the words
  "fantasy" and "girl" incorrectly ? By doing this, are you
  displaying a vain attempt at what some may refer to as
  "coolness" ? Or is it that you can not spell ? If the former,
  I suggest you rethink your stance on social status and its
  implications. The later, perhaps you should start attending
  school.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499602
text:
  <Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie
  <Godsey> Humping Dumpty
  <_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while
  you sat your ass and watched him
  <Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't
  satisfy Dumpty again
  <mannyh> haha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499659
text:
  <tyrius> i have no job, no car, no gf
  <tyrius> its 4am, sitting in my parents basement
  <tyrius> my fingers are now permanent orange from the cheetos,
  and so is my wang (dont ask)
  <tyrius> and dont you hate it when you step in a puddle of
  cum, then step in leftover dry ramen on the floor
  <tyrius> if you let this shit dry, its impossible to get off.
  like instant liquid cement
  <tyrius> ...
  <tyrius> hello
  <ef_slinky> You make me feel so good about my life right now.
  Thank you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911791
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499721
text:
  <PitChic> did you all see about that 97 year old woman who was
  found alive in the rubble of the earthquake in Iran, after 8
  days burried?
  <Marcus``> that's fucked up
  <Marcus``> old people are like indestructible, as long as they
  don't don't fall down and break their hip
  <Marcus``> help! i've fallen and I can't get up!
  <Marcus``> and a house is on me!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499773
text:
  * Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
  <Greylark> why me?
  <Magellan_> because you started it
  <Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary
  girlfriend
  <Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499814
text:
  SwEeTi6724: Every year 11,000 Americans injure themselves
  while trying out bizarre sexual postions.
  XDarkMindedX: Amateurs...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499871
text:
  <ChompyGator> every time you tell a lie, it makes the baby
  Jesus cry..
  <Flirbnic> But Jesus isn't a baby any more
  <Flirbnic> He's a corpse
  <Oberfeldwebel> OMG HE DIED?!?!?!!?
  <Oberfeldwebel> My thoughts and prayors go out to the christ
  fammily.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911792
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499926
text:
  <VonFluf08> crb - cheap digicam $500
  <crb> Yeah, but id' want better
  <VonFluf08> average digicam $800
  <VonFluf08> good digi cam $2000
  <VonFluf08> holiday porn - priceless


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.499987
text:
  <Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were
  watching the discovery channel today at work where there were
  these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches
  mating age
  <Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay
  on a balance beem to appease some god
  <kunio> HAW
  <Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis
  the size of the empire state building
  <orestes--> gah
  <dab[afk]> ugh
  <Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to
  its bobbing
  <Turing_> lol
  <Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
  <Turing_> I hate the discovery channel


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911793
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500076
text:
  [Participle] Ever since I saw bukkake, I can't eat cinnamon
  rolls anymore...
  [Participle] Thanks a lot, Japan!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500119
text:
  <AkumaUsagi> because every scoobie doo episode could have been
  1 minute long if only someone would have eventually bought a
  gun.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500185
text:
  <Tscully> It's Christmas. We show up at my grandmas house. I'm
  14.
  <Tscully> It comes time to open the presents, she brings out
  this little square-shaped flat present, wrapped in christmas
  paper.
  <Tscully> I wonder what it is, what joyous gift from grandma
  could be so small in volume?
  <Tscully> I open it, and see the words "AOL Internet Trial CD"
  on the cover of a cardboard disc holder, with a 14-day AOL
  trial CD inside.
  <Tscully> Confused, I asked her what it was.
  <Tscully> She proudly proclaimed "I've bought you fourteen
  days of free internet!"
  <Tscully> And that's why I hate christmas.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500245
text:
  <rufees> Ron Jeremy was a decent guy. He is such a Troma fan
  that he worked on the movie for free. Troma payed for his
  Hotel , and I believe his airfare and food ( if that was what
  we ate ), but that was it. The funny thing about Ron was that
  he wasn't just some novelty to have in the film ... he can act
  , and I mean well. I was shocked at his ability to learn his
  lines quickly and he had excellent comedic timing. It caught
  me off guard. He is definitely a sex maniac though. You'd
  think a day off from shooting porn he wouldn't concern himself
  with getting laid , but he goes up to one of the actresses in
  the middle of the day and shows her his index finger and says
  "You know why you should masterbate with this finger ?" and
  she goes "No?" and he replies "Because it's mine". Sleazy, but
  fuckin' funny.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911794
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500298
text:
  <Tre_Cool>: Man I'm soooo hungry... I could eat more hot dogs
  than that lil japenese guy.
  <Netters>: I got 20 bucks that says you can't do that.
  <Tre_Cool>: Listen, I'm not intimidated by you OR your
  freakish talking money.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911795
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500394
text:
  <Strimkind> I find programming too picky and precise for me
  <gauze_> stupid computers doing what you tell them to :/


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500575
text:
  <eng> someone will *always* have it better
  <synec> yes... the trick in life is finding those people and
  rubbing them out.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911796
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500625
text:
  <CapnKev> btw, chicks really dig a man with a palmpilot.
  <goosedaemon> really?
  <piman> Yeah. Do they politely excuse themselves rather than
  blatently run away?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911797
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500733
text:
  <Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but
  I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I
  heard the faggot.
  <Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he
  was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
  <Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops.
  Once they get here, they search him and look at what he
  fucking had:
  <Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries),
  Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to
  "Monopoly."
  <dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500865
text:
  <Hoosier55> does anyone know where i can get a modchip
  installed cuz i hate to solder does best buy do it?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500911
text:
  mrspeak3r: i vnc'd from my work box to my home box
  mrspeak3r: then remote-desktop'd from my home box to my work
  box.
  mrspeak3r: It was like my desktop was the front man in an 80s
  music video.
  mrspeak3r: ...
  mrspeak3r: except it was a video that lasted 10 seconds and
  crashed 2 computers.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.500961
text:
  <Kaptain_Kakakaway> six string samurai is the most crazy movie
  ever concieved
  <Kaptain_Kakakaway> Only one man could kill this many
  Russians.
  <BrotherData> stalin ?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911798
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501013
text:
  <Xaenyth> I'm going to ask you all a question that got a
  friend of mine expelled from school.
  <Xaenyth> If you were going to shoot up a school...
  <Xaenyth> ...what music would you want playing on the
  loudspeakers as you did it?
  <r00x> Kill the rabbit by emler fudd


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501064
text:
  <benjick> i talked to a friend, who is a bit geeky about
  doctypes
  <benjick> "when it comes to girls, i'm xhtml 1.1 strict, you
  are like 4.01 loose" :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911800
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501120
text:
  <Dezner> that was the bitchiest security sticker I've ever
  removed from a CD case :x
  <Blackjak> what CD?
  <Dezner> Excel Saga Great Experiment 2 :O
  <Blackjak> ...I was going to say something about whatever band
  being hardass
  <Blackjak> but fuck man, get laid


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501222
text:
  <phlick>so apparently there was some tragedy in the
  neighboorhood involving some people dieing
  <phlick>and this ugly chick, nearly in tears, says "words just
  can't express how many lives those people touched"
  <phlick>so of course, taking the literal meaning of that i
  said "of course words don't. numbers do"
  <phlick>and now everyone mourns and hates :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911801
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501326
text:
  <karaipantsu> Women want equal rights, but we have to do all
  the work in bed. :-p
  <karaipantsu> Girls need to get their sexuality out on their
  sleeves, like us men.
  <karaipantsu> Then everyone would be fucking everyone else,
  and the species would die out from STD's
  <Idle> karaipantsu - STDs can't even kill off homosexuals,
  what makes you think they can kill off the rest of humanity?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501430
text:
  <U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love meh gf
  <U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love saying that i have a gf
  <ViPeR`> i have a gf too :D
  <ViPeR`> i love her too :)
  <[AoS]Albatros> YEAH I HAVE A GEFORCE TOO AND I LOVE THAT
  GRAPHICS CARD gawddamnit
  <U-571[ChaosFilms]> my gf is a real person alba, not some
  piece of hardware thats shocks the shit out of your dick when
  it gives you head
  <[AoS]Albatros> Nice idea
  <[AoS]Albatros> brb


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501480
text:
  <jGoo> i wish when you guessed a channels key it didnt say
  (need correct key), i recon it should say things like (warmer)
  (WARMER) (HOT!!)
  <jGoo> .....?
  <jGoo> does this nick make me look fat?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911802
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501529
text:
  <lofty> hello anyone know how to kill 900gb bandwidth in 6
  hours?
  <Neodymium> Yes
  <Neodymium> Give me a shell


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501578
text:
  * Angelofmoon is now known as studywudyangel
  <AngelSakura> there can be only one true angel in here....me!
  :)
  <Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- Listing nicknames matching
  [*angel*] --
  <Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- End of list (88/90 matches
  shown) --


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911803
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501629
text:
  <Thermy> CE is both a pain and a pleasure to work with, like
  sex with a teenager
  <tom> you can only make jokes about sex with teenagers if you
  arent fucking one i think
  <Thermy> who made those rules?
  <Hocho> jesus, lord of atlantis
  <Eskimo> that guy owes me five bucks


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501720
text:
  <gee-> i stole a 5 dollar pen from officemax and it didnt work
  <homieC> your dad stole a 5 dollar condom from a 7-11 and it
  didnt work


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911804
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501764
text:
  <Robyn> If the spam I receive is representative of America,
  then there must be many fat women married to men with tiny
  penises.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501864
text:
  *** Mixico (~majin_Dus@217.17.239.10) has joined #slipknot
  <Mixico>  I`m Using  Tri Script
  <kiwiman>  I Don't  Care
  <Mixico> @@
  <Mixico> I CARE
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
  <kiwiman> Three times the power!
  <kiwiman> And fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501922
text:
  <DarkDawg> hrm
  <DarkDawg> somethign doesn;t seem right...
  <Xplosive> the spelling of 'something' and 'doesn't'?
  <fukdis> ahahaha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911805
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.501977
text:
  <Shinji>  I have a riddle: What type of dog doesn't bark?
  <Shinvega>  Your mom?
  <Tanya>  A hotdog ^_^
  <Neopanda>  my penis.
  <Shinji>  The one I hit with my car yesterday!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502065
text:
  (Pulse): did u know it was part of dayly life in egypt to wank
  (cypheh): its part of my daily life too
  (Pulse): aye
  (senn): same


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502123
text:
  Alex: A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases
  packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're
  going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400
  for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn
  money for what I do to you free."
  Alex: The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and
  comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do
  you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I
  want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911806
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502166
text:
  CwD | Asbestos: calculus is
  CwD | Asbestos: triangle over triangle is equal to square
  diveded by - y x
  CwD | Asbestos: what is z
  CwD | Asbestos: youre like
  CwD | Asbestos: wtf
  CwD | Asbestos: there is no z
  CwD | Asbestos: and they say
  CwD | Asbestos: wtf is z n00b
  CwD | Asbestos: and while youre sitting there trying to think
  CwD | Asbestos: they say
  CwD | Asbestos: times up
  CwD | Asbestos: youve just been pwnd
  CwD | Asbestos: and youre like wtf h4x0rs
  CwD | Asbestos: thats calculus


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502217
text:
  <jryan> Why is TheJazBand in the topic.
  <TheJazBand> jryan: i had a seizure yesterday.
  <jryan> Ohhh.
  <jryan> How'd that go


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502268
text:
  <grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
  <grey`> i need to firm up my ass
  <grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like
  to think its effective


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502327
text:
  <matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
  <goh`> spelled*
  <McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
  <goh`> you're*
  <goh`> you guys are assholes


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911807
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502380
text:
  <imsoemo> i should sell information on how to join irc on ebay
  <imsoemo> FOR ONLY $3 I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TALK TO MORE
  ARROGANT ASSHOLES THAN YOU EVER DREAMED
  <CaliburX> Just make it sound complicated and expensive
  <CaliburX> Have you ever wanted to talk with other
  sophisticated beings like yourself for free on your own
  personal computer? With this 42 step guide your dreams will
  become a reality and your life will be forever enjoyable.
  <CaliburX> Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502431
text:
  *** Joins: homoman (----------)
  <eMans> homoman!
  <limpBiz> homoman!!
  <hexogan> homoman!
  <osiris> homomannn!
  <tuckawar> homoman!!
  *** Quits: homoman (-------------) (jesus u guys are weird)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502484
text:
  <ThreeZee> woo
  <ThreeZee> overcocked!
  <ThreeZee> lol
  <ThreeZee> CLOCk
  <ThreeZee> my bad
  <ThreeZee> hehe


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911808
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502536
text:
  <Kasugai> Neu[Mann], so is C_Rdd working on a template, or
  should I?
  <Smerdyakov> Oh, yes, let's be careful not to DUPLICATE THE 10
  MINUTES OF WORK
  <Smerdyakov> That would RAPE THE UNIVERSE BY ITS VERY SEAMS OF
  EXISTENCE


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502593
text:
  <duckroll> they need a FF with a female lead that hates all
  men, and masturbates
  <jijiripdoze> female masturbation = hating all men?
  <jijiripdoze> ok
  <duckroll> YES
  <duckroll> its a physical PROTEST AGAINST SEX
  <CommanderStab> I don't think the words "physical protest
  against sex" exist in Japan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502642
text:
  (nexxai) char *peopleOnEarth, *peopleMyHoes; if (sizeof
  (peopleOnEarth) == sizeof(peopleMyHoes)) { printf("Hi.\n"); }
  (nexxai) Hi.
  (nexxai) <-- not a geek.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911809
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502747
text:
  <Mystical> what black super hero movie have u seen
  <Mystical> meteor man was
  <Oolong> shaft
  <Mystical> umm
  <Oolong> wait
  <Tenchi147> meteor man
  <Oolong> is he a super hero
  <Oolong> i consider shaft to be a superhero
  <Oolong> or at least one bad mutha


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502837
text:
  <Rockman_20xx> Life goal: Have three kids, name them CTRL,
  ALT, and DEL.  If they piss me off, hit em twice.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911810
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502894
text:
  <Zenith> So I was at work today, signing for a package from
  UPS..
  <Zenith> When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his
  own.
  <Zenith> And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the
  channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when
  the fight theme music starts.
  <Nigma> Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death?
  <Zenith> I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex
  fatalities.
  <Zenith> They eyed each other, and I knew something was about
  to happen...
  <Zenith> But then the guy changed the channel to "Trading
  Spaces" and the fight was over.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502946
text:
  <Zardoz> Damn those blow-up sheep.
  <Zardoz> I got fucking TWO of them for my 21st.
  <Zardoz> wtf.
  <Zardoz> from DIFFERENT PEOPLE !


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.502997
text:
  <jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
  <jws> (D:) Local Disk
  <jws> Total size: 66631337 GB


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503048
text:
  Thunderscreech: My nephew just got his black belt in Tae Kwan
  Do yesterday. Note: Apparently, it's not entirely accurate to
  call the ceremony a 'bar mitzvah for ninjas'.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911811
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503094
text:
  <zhevinakeer> I'm 3/4ths polish, 1/4th italian.  I can cook, I
  can eat, and I DAMN well know how to put a screen door on a
  submarine.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503157
text:
  <ohm> damn
  <ohm> FUCK
  <ohm> DAMN
  <ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my
  grandmother's window pops up
  <ohm> FUCK
  <ohm> i go like this to her
  <ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
  <ohm> FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503767
text:
  [+clown] Bytebandit what about .mk?
  [@Bytebandit] [19:07:07] mk = Macedonia
  [+clown] if .mk is macedonia, what the hell is mexico then?
  [@toca] .mx
  <@Avalanche> .dirty


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911812
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503862
text:
  <budb> i find chicks in real life, and they are dating someone
  else, chicks find me online, and they are bisexual guys


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.503914
text:
  <@cougem> at 4am this morning i got a call from another
  hospital saying they were sending in a patient with a hole in
  their aorta
  <@cougem> which as emergencies go is about 1 level below 'his
  head has fallen off'


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911813
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504014
text:
  <NeonDawn> Does anyone know if there exists some irc-script
  (bX or egg) that lets other users open a shell through dcc?
  <cwd> NeonDawn: i think you're looking for GetOwned v1.3
  <NeonDawn> cwd: thanks, i'll try it


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504066
text:
  <@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice
  large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me.
  I opened the door and...
  <@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend,
  fucking his brains out.
  <@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits".
  My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504112
text:
  *** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
  <mxman> wtf
  <mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504153
text:
  [17:23:28] [Synoptica] I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT NOW EVERYONE
  [17:29:32] [Xta-C    ] COOL!
  [17:30:13] [Synoptica] jesus christ i dont remember eating
  chili


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911814
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504199
text:
  * edude84 (~extremedu@24-164-185-144.hvc.rr.com) has joined #
  Help
  <edude84> dude
  <edude84> are there cheats for IRC?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504252
text:
  <MixieArmadillo> hahaha
  <Mnementh4> if you tell me, I will have to commit sepuku
  <MixieArmadillo> is that anything like oragami?
  <Mnementh4> more messy, but the concept is basically the same


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504299
text:
  <Khross> andy, time for the secret unix decoder handshake.
  * andy sodomizes Khross
  * Khross orgasms
  <Khross> Okay, we can start the meeting.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504355
text:
  <FE2work> http://abcnews.go.com/sections/living/DailyNews/
  video_game_vibrations020201.html
  <blazemore> good thing i always turn vibration off ^_^
  <mightyflo> smart money says the kid that got it got it from
  one of those 3rd party "RIP YOUR FUCKING ARM OFF XTREME SHOCK"
  controllers
  <blazemore> "WARNING: DO NOT GET ALLOW YOUR CHARACTER TO GET
  HIT WHILE USING THIS CONTROLLER OR YOU COULD LOSE A LIMB."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911815
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504408
text:
  <masttime1> i gotta pee
  <masttime1> brb
  <masttime1> SHIT
  <masttime1> IM SO KILLING MY BROTHER
  <masttime1> he put saran wrap on the toilet
  <masttime1> and i peed all over my foot


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504482
text:
  <SLIMMTHUG> whats that link 4 that site
  <SLIMMTHUG> where its alot of little sites
  <SLIMMTHUG> jumpin around on the screen
  <SLIMMTHUG> u click it
  <SLIMMTHUG> and these lil windows
  <DooD> http://www.catholicninjas.org/superfuntime <-- try
  there, see if they have it
  <SLIMMTHUG> aint that the thing?
  <DooD> nah
  <DooD> it's a site that links to it
  <SLIMMTHUG> COTDAMN U DOOD
  <SLIMMTHUG> THAT WAS IT
  *** SLIMMTHUG (nosrevia1@AC868011.ipt.aol.com) has left #cnn


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911816
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504580
text:
  <Wynn> Not a single original thought in my mind...
  <Wynn> *sigh*
  <Wynn> I should write a book:
  <Leyenda> And sell it as a notepad?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504670
text:
  <bunneh> he used to talk to my mate and he admitted to liking
  me and the next day we found out we were related...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504723
text:
  <WarBuddha> can someone explain to me why i have another
  cd-rom drive all of a sudden
  <WarBuddha> sigh
  <WarBuddha> my computer hates me
  *** Quits: WarBuddha (Quit: Connection reset by peer)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911817
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504798
text:
  uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you
  how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know,
  it is for a good cause


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504839
text:
  Iride4mosh » no doing gay stuff while im gone ya hear
  polkaisrad » dont wanna miss out huh?
  Iride4mosh » shut up man...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911818
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504935
text:
  <Merl>: So I suppose you're going to change the world, huh?
  Make it a pure Utopia with no war
  <Merl>: hunger or pain?
  <lyndak>: I would love to change the world, but they won't
  give me the source code.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.504989
text:
  <snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and
  stuff
  <taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him
  you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
  <grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
  <grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port,
  please supply me with another"
  <snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck
  your self


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505044
text:
  [1:02pm] <+weeve> now kthx bye now you don't exist on my
  harddrive or in my memorys anymore try not thinking your a 22
  year old mack with a good job and gf and accept who you are I
  am 6'8 and 245 I'm a black belt in ju jitsu unlike you lieing
  kiddies wanna spar come to me I'm bored now
  [1:02pm] weeve «~Eden@ip68-10-94-135.rn.hr.cox.net» has Quit
  iRC (`docno==liar I love kiddies:) kthx)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911819
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505086
text:
  (+comatosis) I DID IT! my first fucking mod! I took off my
  video card fan which is puny shit and added a BIG one :P
  (+comatosis) how much performance will i gain
  (+t0by`) none


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505183
text:
  <SickRick> anyone know why linuxvideo.org is down?  was it
  shut down?
  <ian_> Because "linux" and "video" are mutually exclusive


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505230
text:
  <aberration> I hear they opened a wal-mart in china.... i can
  imagine the people who shop there... "Hey I just made that
  yesterday !"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911820
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505283
text:
  <Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her?
  -.- <turns>
  <Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard
  Mind say anyway


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505336
text:
  <Teegan> orgasum
  <Stressball> theres no U in orgasm
  <Stressball> haha
  <Stressball> sounds like an anti-rape slogan


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505400
text:
  <Boogaleeboo> You can't rape inanimate objects
  <Boogaleeboo> like I can't go "I'm fucking rapping this water
  bottle!"
  <Boogaleeboo> Or "Mmmmm, you fucking bitch you don't want my
  cock, do you sports radio?"
  <Boogaleeboo> Doesn't work


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911821
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505499
text:
  <+Hotaru> Hmm, 1 in 32 Americans are either in jail or prison,
  on probation, or on parole.
  <@Riffraff> COOL!
  <+Vulpes> I didn't know we had that many politicians.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505545
text:
  <jacob> fuck my deoderant combined with this other dudes one
  smells awesome
  <cpd> 0_o and HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THAT OUT


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505591
text:
  <Spike> You know what I want to do? I want to go on eBay and
  buy all the
  souvenier pieces of the Berlin wall, then reconstruct it along
  the Mexican border


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911822
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505641
text:
  <Object> i'm good for 15 minutes
  <sh0> Object, 15 minutes ?!
  <sh0> you better have a lot of cash to keep yo bitch loyal


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505738
text:
  <DropShock> He was the BIGGEST Jewish person I've ever seen.
  <DropShock> Aren't they supposed to be skinny and all?
  <Trevor> It's Jewbacca!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911823
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505791
text:
  *** Joins: Tornus
  *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Tornus
  <+WOJ> It's Tornus.
  <@NiteShok> It sure is.
  <@GregTG> no it isn't
  <@GregTG> [/iraqi information minister]


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911824
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505901
text:
  <Fakester> hmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart would ask for ID on a
  return...
  <Fakester> that could be a problem
  <Tortri> if they do, well... tell them you forgot it, take the
  DC back home
  <Tortri> then you'll be stuck with a new dc
  <Fakester> Tortri: I'm currently unemployed, I don't have $100
  to waste like that.
  <Tsengie> sell it to some stupid kid for 119
  <Tsengie> tell him it's a ps2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505951
text:
  <Sumez> Adam could just sacrifice another rib for another
  woman. :P
  <Nobuyuki`> sumez: yeah, and two more ribs and he wouldn't
  need any more women


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911825
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.505998
text:
  Skull: The existance of flamethrowers says that someone,
  somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire,
  but it's too far away."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506044
text:
  Lawyer-Acidbuk has 11 fingers
  <Lawyer-Acidbuk> 10 on my hand and one....*shuts up*
  <LatinoReheat> up your ass?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506092
text:
  <+Incantation> shag's 100% let you cry on his shoulder and
  make you think he cares so that he can manipulate you into
  sucking his cock
  <+Julie42> HOLY SHIT! Good. Because here I was thinking I had
  to think of things to cry about, just so I could suck on his
  cock.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911826
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506142
text:
  <eye-dee-ten-tee> is this kazaa an indian program??
  <eye-dee-ten-tee> I mean the name sounds like something from
  arabia
  <Moo> Yeah.. president of Afghanistan, Hamid Kazaa


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506196
text:
  < zeedo> now the use of nmap in the matrix reloaded, that was
  leetnes
  in a movie

  < mcp33p4n75> and ssh
  < zeedo> an ssh exploit no less
  < setenv> oh yea and the crc32 vulnerability
  18:02:37 < zeedo> I paused it and started explaining it to my
  gf, she just
  looked at me like I was a moron


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506246
text:
  <Shivaway> sue me im bored shitless
  <mmx> eat a dick? :(
  <Shivaway> no thx
  <Shivaway> im on a no dick diet, i hear it goes straight to
  your ass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911827
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506298
text:
  <Sirea> My brothers cats name is God Damned Cat and she's
  running around with pair of my panties in her mouth
  <Leth|ASSignment> "God Damned Cat and she's running around
  with pair of my panties in her mouth" is a damn long name.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506400
text:
  <+digital-lemon> im gonna invent a tv that blocks out
  commercials and put dancing stick figures with smilie faces on
  instead
  <@TreeClock> LOL
  <+digital-lemon> ill call it STV
  <+digital-lemon> pronounced stevie
  <+digital-lemon> stick telivision
  <+digital-lemon> i'll be filthy rich


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911828
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506496
text:
  <Zap> back from raev lol.
  <Protected> raev?
  <Gray|ogl> raev = a codename for gaybar, only gaypeople know
  about it
  <Gray|ogl> doh.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506555
text:
  <ZeroHour> Descender: get a real mans gun
  <brenden> hah
  <Descender> your penis?
  <ZeroHour> damn right!
  <NoiZe> lol
  <ZeroHour> put it in your eye!
  <stupidnick_> lol
  <ZeroHour> WATCH IT SHOOT!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506607
text:
  <notalive> have you heard those jokes they dont tell gay
  people
  <notalive> ?
  <kebaan> i dont think so?
  <kebaan> tell me one then i can tell you if i have
  <notalive> i dont know any


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911829
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506653
text:
  <K0ffing> you should Photoshop Raz ... I'll give you a dollar
  if you can make his face look less like a butt


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506719
text:
  <lunchbox> so get this
  <lunchbox> i delivered pizza to the Microshaft building today
  but I couldn't park close to the door because they have all
  these fancy picnic tables out back for their employees
  <lunchbox> so they're standing there watching me carry all
  these pizzas to them and I finally get to the door and they
  stiff me. nothing.
  <fallingdogs> are you surprised?
  <lunchbox> next time they order I'm going to send them a bunch
  of empty boxes
  <lunchbox> and write stop messages inside
  <lunchbox> "0x0000000A" ...
  <lunchbox> "INVALID_PROCESS_ATTACH_TIP"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506770
text:
  <Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever
  laughed.  I'm anti-laughing.
  <FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs
  implode then.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506828
text:
  <SubWolf> Do you know the number of times I've walked into a
  room and had some guy go "Here comes Jesus"?!? That was back
  in the big beard & long hair days.
  <MrPilot> hehe
  <C> Bloody hippy
  <SubWolf> I used to say "Yeah, and you've sinned,
  motherfuckers."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911830
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506874
text:
  <Inuyasha> Those guys at bash must have some sort of
  auto-accept system with quotes
  <Inuyasha> Either that or the guys that approve them are both
  racist and blind


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506932
text:
  <soapZOMBIE> when you go to college, you'll be the "old guy"
  in class
  <soapZOMBIE> everyone will say "what the hell is that old guy
  doing here at college?"
  <demizius> better than the bald guy right?
  <soapZOMBIE> i wear hats


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.506999
text:
  <Patrician|Away> trust me on this
  <Patrician|Away> it was face
  <|Tempest|> trust you?
  <|Tempest|> TRUST YOU?
  <Patrician|Away> im always right on these issues
  <Patrician|Away> face will confirm it
  <|Tempest|> the last time i trusted you i ended up strapped
  naked to a low flying jet performing stunts over london
  <Patrician|Away> yup
  <Patrician|Away> ad got an easy £300
  <Patrician|Away> *and I
  <|Tempest|> do you know what 10 Gs does to a flacid flapping
  willy?
  <|Tempest|> DO YOU?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507045
text:
  * aiel wonders why the load on his O2 has passed 3.0
  <core> aiel: netscape ?
  <xL> aiel: I told you VRML pr0n was a bad idea :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911831
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507105
text:
  <Puck> Damnit, I'm tired.
  <DeathCrow> You just woke up.
  <Puck> I only had an hour nap!
  <DeathCrow> No, I'm saying that's why you're tired.
  <Puck> Well, that explains it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507194
text:
  <j0ori> who's a decent shell provider?
  <Nadir> your mother
  <Nadir> i "telnetted" into her "ftp" last night
  <Nadir> mwaha, being subtle rocks.
  * Mode: (+b) *!*@vw4800.optusnet.com.au (By: j0ori) (Match:
  Nadir)
  * You were kicked from #hackers by Dumb (Banned)
  -> -j0ori- mwaha. i must admit, she is fairly "lag free". good
  thing i was using "SSH" - you can never have too much
  protection from "virii" these days.
  -> -j0ori- and when she reached "/root"? ohhh, that explosion
  sent thousands of files to "/dev/null" as i proceeded to
  "upload" 100000000000 "1 byte files made in vi"
  -> -j0ori- took a fair bit of kleenex to "purge /root of the
  unused files" though
  -> -j0ori- oh, tell her that her 5 cents is on the fridge too
  -> -j0ori- we didnt really talk much .. she was too busy
  screaming
  -> -j0ori- allow me to impersonate
  -> -j0ori- <j0oris's mum> OHHHHHHHHH NADIR HARDER, OHHHHH YES,
  MORRRRRRREEEEEEE, AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
  -> -j0ori- *gasms*
  -> -j0ori- i shudder at the thought.. 'twill be nice "logging
  back in" under "root" tonight.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911832
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507296
text:
  <AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today
  while I was naked
  <AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask
  what that noise was


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507337
text:
  e l i t e m r p: afk, working on my invention
  n e r d b 5: invention.....uhm, whats it do?
  e l i t e m r p: converts piss into drinking water
  e l i t e m r p: so far, still tastes yucky


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507385
text:
  <SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention
  president stirred interfaith tumult when he described
  Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed
  pedophile."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911833
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507479
text:
  <Fark_Ninja> The most overlooked advantage to owning a
  computer is that if it fouls up there's no law against wacking
  it around a little.
  <Cerebus> The same is actually true for a penis.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507531
text:
  Berrik  I swear I hate German
  Berrik  You take some 3-letter word in English
  Berrik  and in German it's "Schtuffwaftefloswhosit"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507579
text:
  <zealo> I need sleep....
  <zealo> I went to take a crap and took off my shirt instead of
  my pants
  <zealo> I actually sat down before i realised what was wrong


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911834
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507631
text:
  <hypr> joo do any drugs today?
  <`gb> i don't do drugs fuckface
  <hypr> what is pot then
  <`gb> a plant


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507684
text:
  <LordStan> Jed, why can't you have a fake man that has a
  magical motor that drives a series of gears and what-not to
  make a robot?
  <Jedisar> LordStan: Because he's busy starring in a new FF
  game.
  <LordStan> I would say something sarcastic to that, but
  chances are you're right.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911835
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507738
text:
  <@jestuh> i was like "i'm never going to get used to getting
  SHOT AT"
  * Quits: jestuh (Connection reset by peer)
  * Joins: jestuh
  <@jestuh> what was last line you got before disconnect?
  <@_ace> <jestuh> anal sex used to hurt at first, but i learned
  how to relax my muscles


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507929
text:
  <******> "oh yeah, i got me a 643gb ultradrive, with 23
  supermegs of zingram, and i have a 160000 channel cable
  installed by telstra, a proto router which goes into each of
  my 16 terminals around my house, and i am having sex while
  typing this all, and taking copious amounts of drugs aswell."


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911836
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.507975
text:
  <DrBoris> oh well, when I get rich and famous, I will promote
  games that hold the ideals of creativity and gameplay over
  mindless violence
  <Yutz> And go bankrupt.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.508025
text:
  <VUlpixLover> making fun of people who can't read is
  intolerable.  you shouldn't say anything mean about them.
  <NoTruth> Yeah you should write it.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.508071
text:
  <Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
  <Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully
  body kit :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.508116
text:
  <amoeba> mouse gestures = OMG IM TOO LAZY TO PRESS TEH BUTTONS
  ON TEH KEYBOARD
  <@tr0n> HEY IF I MOVE IT IN AN S PATTERN AND THEN A ZIGZAG AND
  THEN A SQUARE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ME TO FAGS.NET


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911837
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.508177
text:
  <@DataBrokers> Wow I just some more skiers in Canada were
  caught up in another avalanche right near where those fellows
  died in one just last month.
  <@DataBrokers> Those folks need to pay attention more it seems
  to me.
  <crrj> Yes, teenagers, age 13-15 or so
  <netnomad> It happened the day of the NASA barbeque.
  <netnomad> They're just reporting it now, cuz the AP wire
  isn't as congested.
  <@DataBrokers> OH, that's cold
  <netnomad> No, actually it was kinda hot.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533690
text:
  (@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
  (@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
  (@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about
  that
  (@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the
  switch ?
  (+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch
  with my linux box
  (@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the
  windows machine you are on now ?
  (+Andross): yeah


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533789
text:
  <Antifuse> christ it's hot out today too
  <Bionic_6> yea
  <Bionic_6> sweating like pedophile in a playground


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533824
text:
  <Oldboy> mt dew shrinks your cock
  <MiNdPhuCk> Tell me that again as I slam my 12 inch long, 4
  inch wide cock down your throat while drinking a dew
  <Oldboy> plastic doesnt count


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911838
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533872
text:
  <%kiwibonga> Je ne donne pas un merde - I don't give a shit
  <%kiwibonga> THAT MAKES NO SENSE
  <%kiwibonga> you cannot give a shit to someone
  <%kiwibonga> in french
  <%kiwibonga> that sounds like "I'm taking a shit in my hands
  and I'm keeping it for myself"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533913
text:
  <Baker> Can't sleep properly now... was bad rolling over and
  the missus wasn't there :(
  <Vindictive> I wouldn't be able to sleep if someone WAS there
  to roll on :P
  <Baker> Na - its an amazing feeling - rolling over half asleep
  and getting a cuddle...
  <Vindictive> lol, don't know it :P
  <Vindictive> Does a cat count?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.533946
text:
  * Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as
  lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High
  Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the
  Kingdom of Fuck.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911839
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534007
text:
  <Bilbo>: Pac Man time!
  <Bilbo>: < ............. M
  <Bilbo>: < ........ M
  <Bilbo>: < . M
  <Bilbo>: ^
  <Bilbo>: Oops. I died.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911840
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534108
text:
  <firefighter_scott>  Notice  «Once a computer beat me at
  chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing.»


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534248
text:
  <AlexChiu> Brent: Oh yeah.  Well, would you have felt better
  if I hadn't told you about it and you got hit with a noxious
  stench upon prying off a girl's dry, crusty panties?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911841
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534351
text:
  <Mivalekan> the next generation of games will feature not
  consoles
  <Mivalekan> but the games only which will only be tiny
  capsules
  <Mivalekan> with which you insert into your anus and the game
  plays in your brain
  <Mivalekan> MAKE WAY FOR THE FUTURE
  <Nosnam> So basically, the next generation of games will be an
  LSD suppository?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534400
text:
  <Chambered> my hair is halfway down my back
  <tize> thats too long
  <Chambered> but when your taking a shit and run out of paper,
  its alright


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534453
text:
  <Mike_Works> There should be holes in massage tables so if you
  get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just
  put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your ass in the
  air.
  <Mike_Works> There should also be midgets under the tables.
  Midgets who need the money.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534499
text:
  Tazoa: No one has crashed more cars then me. I backed my truck
  into a rock camping once. Broke the differential cover.
  Recaro: Shit how'd you get home man?
  Tazoa: I fiberglassed it back together. turns out differential
  oil passes right through fiberglass.
  Recaro: Sounds about right
  Tazoa: so I popped it back open and pushed some bananas in
  there to thicken the mixture. Long story short i drove 700
  miles with two bananas in my rear end.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911842
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534548
text:
  <IncoherentMoron> choose an integer between 1 and 35
  <Elliotw2> F
  <IncoherentMoron> base 10, smartass


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534589
text:
  Lindsay: I have a gaydar, and your sending off a strong
  signal...
  Dustin: Well, I have a whoredar...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534644
text:
  <napster> if you have issues w/ him, take them up in msg
  <bill^> no prob
  <bill^> actually, when he comes back to NJ I will take it up
  with him with a baseball bat....
  <napster> why is that?
  <bill^> it is much more effective.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534706
text:
  <TLF> smoke
  <TLF> im calling u out hustlah
  <TLF> bring it
  <MegaSmokeX> Why, bitch?
  <TLF> first person to hack the other person wins
  <MegaSmokeX> k
  <TLF> lets see your 1337 skillz bitch hahaha
  *** Signoff: TLF (Connection reset by peer)
  <Ginnsu> Goddamn O_O
  <Saunders> pnwed.
  <MegaSmokeX> I think thats the luckiest Ive ever been in my
  life...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911843
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534756
text:
  (Nick): Dude, It'll take me weeks to complete a movie.. I am a
  perfectionist.. But I like to take my sweet sweet time
  (CEM): I'm a perfectionist too
  (Deranged): mE 2


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534797
text:
  BlackFridayXRule: dude, find an asian party, i want to hook up
  with an asian chick
  ziggyzhang5: asian party, no such thing
  BlackFridayXRule: oh sorry, i meant lan party


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534843
text:
  <Barracuda_Sanchez> i have a pubic hair on my moniter
  <Barracuda_Sanchez> i thought it was a comma


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911844
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534886
text:
  Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
  Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was
  in 2nd grade or something


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.534994
text:
  <kt> collars are still ugly on people.
  <Adri784> What if you're roleplaying?
  <kt> then you'll be an ugly roleplayer.
  * Adri784 thinks about that
  <Adri784> I guess i'll keep that in mind if i ever enter a sex
  slave relationship


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535046
text:
  <mefod> anyone ever watch tv...
  <mefod> then after 5 minutes or so you think to yourself
  <mefod> "omg i better move the mouse, or the screensaver will
  come on"
  <mefod> but then you remember its a tv


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911845
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535093
text:
  <phunqe> As I was walking home from work the other day, I saw
  a funny ad in the subway. Instead of laughing quietly for
  myself I actually said "lol" quite loud. The high voltage
  tracks seemed very inviting at that point.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535157
text:
  <Ethereal Souls> it gave me the "explorer.exe has generated
  errors"
  <Ethereal Souls> BUT IT'S OK
  <Ethereal Souls> An error log was created
  <Ethereal Souls> which will be in Hex and tell me EVERYTHING I
  NEED TO KNOW
  <Frag> Because, of course, you know EXACTLY what Windows
  stores in memory slot E35BA9564F
  <Ethereal Souls> yeah
  <Ethereal Souls> that's the line about it buttfucking me


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535340
text:
  <Booyaah> There's something making a noise outside my window
  <Booyaah> Should I go check out what the heck is making that
  noise or just leave it alone?
  <Booyaah> it's like a low sort of moaning
  <Elzie_Ann> :/
  <ViewtifulJosh> call the cops, heh
  <Frozen-Solid> moaning?
  <Booyaah> That's what I'd call it Frozen
  <Elzie_Ann> So is this like a "People are having sex outside
  my window" type of moaning or a "there's an injured cat
  outside my window" type of moaning
  <Frozen-Solid> could only be one thing... promiscuous sex...
  you could go out and watch if you want
  <Booyaah> I'm gonna go with the injured cat thing
  <ViewtifulJosh> haha
  <Stormrider> It might be an injured cat having sex
  <Booyaah> If people are having sex outside my window then it
  sounds like only one is doing a good job
  <Frozen-Solid> hahaha
  <Elzie_Ann> hahahaha
  <Stormrider> That may be the greatest thing you've ever said,
  Booyaah
  <Booyaah> It's getting louder :|
  <Booyaah> ok, I'm gonna go check
  <Booyaah> I don't really want to have things like that going
  on in my yard
  <Elzie_Ann> Haha.
  <Elzie_Ann> I don't have any other ideas
  <Booyaah> I'm thinking there's a good chance it was a kitty
  <Frozen-Solid> or carl's idea...
  <Elzie_Ann> That's what I would think
  <Elzie_Ann> Some kind of cat
  <Booyaah> but my cat would notice...
  <Booyaah> My cat = me
  <Booyaah> It just lays around doing nothing
  <Booyaah> you know if people were doing it outside my window
  <Frozen-Solid> you'd have a camera Booyaah?
  <Booyaah> Frozen, you're scaring me
  <Booyaah> lol
  <Frozen-Solid> heh
  <Booyaah> I suppose I could've taped it though
  <Elzie_Ann> haha
  <Booyaah> lol
  <Booyaah> it's starting up again
  * Booyaah is away : Outside with flashlight
  --- Booyaah is now known as Booyaah-away

  ** Time Passes **

  <Booyaah> People in this town scare me.
  <Elzie_Ann> Did you find out what it was, Booyaah?
  <Booyaah> sure did
  <Elzie_Ann> What was it
  <Booyaah> some dude
  <Elzie_Ann> o_O
  <Frozen-Solid> 0_o
  <Booyaah> me: "What the fuck are you doing man?" him:
  "...nothing" me: "you aren't playing with yourself out here
  are you?" him: "Maybe" me: "well...I really think you should
  do that in your own home, not my bushes ok" him: "ok" me: "get
  the fuck out of here"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911846
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535397
text:
  <Liquids> man I have to broaden my date horizons
  <Liquids> I am so sick of starting dates off with "are you a
  cop" and ending it with "do you take visa"
  <Liquids> could be worse
  <Liquids> they could start with "asl" and end with /ignore


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535462
text:
  <Prae> theres always a "good" replacement for uo2, like
  ...'hidden dragon, crotching tiger'
  <Soulflame> CROTCHING TIGER?
  <Grath_SC> crotching?
  <CrashCat> hahah
  <Greven> lol
  <DarKnight> crouching panda, hidden what?
  <Mako> 'crouching woman, burning sensation'.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535542
text:
  <sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the
  equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
  <Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
  <iTM> wtf
  <Ronwe> that' just pathetic
  <sean> yes, many MANY times
  <Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never
  to a barbie doll
  <Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some
  decent porn to smack to
  <Astro> lol
  <iTM> Charsi's ass?
  <Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
  <Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
  <Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535590
text:
  <pvah> when i got my cable modem.......i had to get rid of
  about 4 friends in order to manage my time


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911847
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535656
text:
  <roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200
  bucks..
  <roman> then i'm ordering a whore
  <foobar> haha roman no you're not
  <roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need
  company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was
  like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we
  get nasty"
  <roman> you order them like pizza, dude


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535745
text:
  Technogen: weird, my VCR just lost power for no reason...
  Technogen: damn ghosts keep turning things off in my house.
  Technogen: last thing they turned off was my sex life...


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535794
text:
  <steeg> "when there is grass on the field, play ball" my coach
  used to say
  <steeg> he is in jail now, guess what for :)


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911848
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535854
text:
  <Hydrac7> Bukkake!
  <Clockwork> hahaha
  <Clockwork> BUKKAKE
  <Alice`> I don't know why people giggle so much when someone
  mentions bukkake, let me tell you there's nothing funny about
  the manseed of 182 guys dripping down your face.
  <Alice`> Well you might giggle a bit afterwards, but you don't
  mean it really.
  <pot-shot> yeah you giggle, its like anxiety laughter, because
  oh fuck you are alive, for the fucking love of god you are
  alive, and it tastes like rice pudding, delicoius perfect rice
  pudding and there is literally gallons of it around you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.535955
text:
  <Brock> Work work work!
  <Brock> That's all I do for me
  <Brock> You'd think I'd pay me in something other than
  handjobs.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911850
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536011
text:
  <tytyt> the--kav if you were not a man I'd hug you
  <deepcut> but as it is, he's too afraid of his own latent
  homosexuality to dare
  <tytyt> there are support group for that
  <deepcut> tytyt: I was referring to you


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536079
text:
  <NiM> I went to church with my friends
  <NiM> and they had all the alter boys being commissioned or
  whatever its called
  <NiM> and we pours salt and viagra in the wine
  <OttoDestruct> LOL
  <NiM> And like 4 of the alterboys spat out the wine
  <CF|Okra> hahahah
  <NiM> and the priest was like OMFG U SINNERS
  <NiM> thats the blood of christ!
  <NiM> And the ones that didn't spit it out where walking
  around in their fucking robs with boners
  <NiM> it was the funniest shit ever
  <NiM> We where kicked out
  <NiM> of the church


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911851
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536136
text:
  <chrisj> american kids are all "oh gee mom I didn't mean to
  take a tip of dads bud light while he wasn't looking. i'll
  never get drunk again, I swear"
  <chrisj> and australian kids are all
  <chrisj> "AHH CHEERS CUNTS, GIVE US A SQUIRT FROM YOUR GOON
  BAG, DAD... AHHH CHEERS CUNT"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536296
text:
  <Calaveron> I'm so sick and tired of gay people on message
  boards adding to their signatures
  <Calaveron> "PROUD TO BE GAY"
  <Calaveron> And fruity colors
  <Calaveron> I mean
  <Calaveron> WTF?
  <Calaveron> Fine, you can be gay, I don't care
  <mog> i love peer
  <mog> it pwned cass good
  <Calaveron> Don't be flaunting it, then it's annoying and you
  get all bitchy when someone complains and thinks he's a
  homophobe
  * mog Random Mp3 - Queen - Killer Queen.mp3 - Size: 3.45MB -
  Length: 3mins 2secs
  <Calaveron> I'm straight
  <Calaveron> I don't go adding pirate flags to my signatures
  <Calaveron> "PROUD TO NOT SUCK COCKS"
  <mog> lol
  * cass has joined #herpes
  * ChanServ sets mode: +o cass
  <mog> fuck
  <mog> spoke too soon
  <draik]> wb
  <Calaveron> pirate flags with boobies and skull and crossbones
  and all that
  * mog is now known as asspirate
  <asspirate> YAR
  <draik]> rofl
  <asspirate> SHIVER ME COLON AND BLOW MY LOAD
  <asspirate> THERE BE TREASURE IN THAT BOYS ASS
  <draik]> lmao
  <asspirate> yar
  <asspirate> me n firs mate willy
  <asspirate> thar be dragons to, yar
  <asspirate> flamin dragons
  <asspirate> with cacks as long as tha sea
  <asspirate> yar
  <asspirate> got' dig deep fer ye gold
  <asspirate> yar


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536386
text:
  <@neonjesus> up your game, chatters. this is professional
  level chatting.
  <@atomic> oh yeah
  <@atomic> professional for sure
  <@atomic> I'm being paid to chat right now
  <@atomic> in fact, I probably get paid to chat more than I get
  paid to work
  <@neonjesus> its why we all went into IT in the first place
  <@neonjesus> we got on irc when we were children
  <@neonjesus> and thought
  <@neonjesus> hey
  <@neonjesus> i would like to chat for a living. how do i get
  to do that?
  <@atomic> lol
  <@neonjesus> first, you have to look like you're busy in
  terminal
  <@Jugernaut> hah
  <@neonjesus> second, you have to be the unwatched watcher.
  <@neonjesus> third, ???
  <@neonjesus> profit.
  <@neonjesus> so here we are.
  <@neonjesus> a bunch of professional motherfuckin' chatters.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536442
text:
  <D1_> in third grade
  <D1_> I saw this girl have a seizure and spasm on the floor
  <D1_> and man did her tongue go down her throat
  <D1_> now that I think of it
  <D1_> it was kind of sexy
  <twin> what the FUCK


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911852
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536500
text:
  <lordpil> everyone freeze, this is an irc stickup. don't move
  or i'll DoS ya. gimme all the voice
  <ZorbaTHut> don't hurt me, don't hurt me!
  *** ZorbaTHut sets mode: +v lordpil
  * lordpil runs away with the voice
  *** Parts: lordpil
  <ZorbaTHut> damn! he took our voice
  <stevieo> ....


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536557
text:
  <[BDT]Karma> put the chicken mushroom [ramen] outside
  <[BDT]Karma> and wait with a club
  <[BDT]Karma> maybe a squirrel will come by
  <[BDT]Karma> and you will have food for another day


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911853
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536610
text:
  <DrT> i was on that cruise once.  got really drunk and fucked
  mini mouse
  <katlizy> mini mouse?
  <katlizy> is that not just a little kinky?
  <DrT> freaked me out when the fake head came off.  turned out
  to be a really nice guy though


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536800
text:
  <LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
  <exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
  <DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
  <LarsC> yeah.  i fuck you, and you don't even know I was
  there.
  <Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911854
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536896
text:
  < int0x80> oh man today is my lucky day
  < int0x80> i ripped this fart, but someone sneezed really loud
  at exactly the same time
  < int0x80> so nobody heard my fart
  <@vom> int0x80: that means an angel got its wings


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.536944
text:
  <Oberon-> So does anyone have any projection on how cheap
  Pentium III
  chips are going to get in the next few weeks?
  <TeeCee> Cheep enough to be able to use them for floor tiles.
  :)
  <Oberon-> TeeCee: Wow, cool thought!  Massively parallel floor
  tiles -
  a kitchen floor you can count on!


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537001
text:
  <balls>  that was the funniest thing that's ever happened to
  me
  <balls>  im getting ready to build a computer, and my dad
  comes into my room.  he starts talking like hes giving me the
  talk about abstinence and shit.  he says stuff like "son, we
  want you to be safe, you know that" and just when it seems
  like he's gonna give me a condom, he holds out his hand, and
  he gives me a fucking static wrist strap.
  <balls>  i never laughed so hard in my dad's face.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911855
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537056
text:
  <al-x> pam anderson had implants
  <al-x> had them taken out
  <al-x> just had them put back in
  <al-x> she proly has zippers
  <al-x> under her arms
  <al-x> or somethign


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537117
text:
  <rade> so have u got a tree up yet?
  <Selexion> like a file tree?
  <Selexion> ?
  <rade> a christmas tree..


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537163
text:
  You6Know: oh my gah .. everytime i pee in the pool tho im
  scared it turns purple like that episode of Pete & Pete


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537229
text:
  <Midtown> my family is going down the tube fast...
  <Punkrwker> y is dat?
  <Midtown> i walk into my rents comp room and my 13 year old
  bro is beatin off
  <Midtown> so i run into my moms room laughing my ass off and i
  say "go look at spence"
  <Midtown> she goes "is he playing with himself again"
  <Punkrwker> hahahahahahaha
  <Midtown> i almost fucking died laughing, then i was like
  ...."again?"


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911856
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537292
text:
  <RichiH> warthawg: define "date"
  <RichiH> relatives dount count, btw
  <warthawg> hmmm define a date
  <warthawg> "a social event with a member of the attractive
  gender"  no close relatives accepted, however second cousins
  approved after dna sampling
  <RichiH> heh
  <RichiH> warthawg: so.. what gender IS attractive?


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537338
text:
  * iban is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup
  doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly
  inflates larger and larger


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537388
text:
  *** Now talking in #physics
  <Lud> "To enable the plasmatic vortex in the neighbouring
  regions of an oscillating singularity, we would of course have
  to override the eternal protonic fields surrounding the
  various quantized eddies"
  <TrixyDLuX> oh - of course


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911857
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537440
text:
  <Hitei> I can also IMPLY that you are an idiot.
  <Hitei> Which, you are, but I'm not saying it, just IMPLYING
  it. IMPLY is the key word there.
  <Si`Howe> Look at that. You typed more than three words.
  <Hitei> Shut up, you.


date: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.911858
submitted_at: 2024-10-13 20:41:06.537488
text:
  souleman: doesn't everyone have a rag they use for cleaning up
  after they make a mess?
  Negative: I don't ;)
  Negative: I never make a mess
  souleman: haha
  souleman: you don't get off?
  Negative: I just open my mouth and aim ;)


